Trixie Messes Everything Up

by Sleepy Panda

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Trixie, Random
Length: 5444

Trixie can never seem to do anything right.

Trixie always messes things up. She just cannot do anything right.

This is a collection of short stories taking place in Ponyville. Don't take these too seriously, I'm writing these mainly just to clear writers block.

Published 2014-08-14 03:10:05 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-05 20:49:53 UTC

The Bird and The Frog

"Where do you suppose Apple Bloom is?" Sweetie Belle asked Scootaloo, craning her neck to scan the crowd of ponies for the other crusader.

"I don't know, but she said something along the lines of 'Ah'm gonna teach those two a lesson' before she stormed off in that direction," Scootaloo said, lazily waving a hoof in the general direction of the stage while sipping on her drink, which was being levitated in front of her by Sweetie Belle.

"Scootaloo, we have to find her before she does something stupid," Sweetie Belle hissed. When Scootaloo just shrugged, she growled and dropped her levitation spell, causing Scootaloo's drink to fall and spill on the ground. This earned the two fillies a few dirty looks from the adults as they jumped out of the way, but neither filly cared. "Fine, I'll just leave you here and look for her myself," she declared, storming off."

"Okay fine, I'll go with you," said an annoyed Scootaloo. "But once we find her, you are paying for my drink."

After a solid fifteen minutes of searching the area, they finally found Apple Bloom backstage. However, they were not expecting to find her tied up and fast asleep.

"Erm... What's going on here?" Sweetie Belle asked no one in particular.

"Try asking those two," Scootaloo said, pointing towards two familiar stallions.

"Film and Flam?! What the hay is going on here?" Sweetie Belle exclaimed. Hearing their names, Flim and  Flam turned towards the fillies.

"We can explain," said Flim. The two frauds stood there saying nothing for a couple seconds before Flim nudged Flam in the shoulder.

"Wait, you want me to explain?" Flam whispered. "But I don't want to explain!" A hard shove from his brother made him stumble a bit. "Fine, I'll explain. This little filly marched in here demanding that we leave Equestria. When we told her to go away, she told Flim to stick his head up his plot. Then she tried to beat us up, so we tied her up."

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. "But why is she asleep?" she questioned. Flim shrugged.

"How am I supposed to know? She was probably just tired or something." Apple Bloom chose that moment to let out a loud snore.

"Well then can you untie her now?" Scootaloo asked. Flim and Flam shared a look before Flam nodded and said "I guess so. Just keep her away from us, will you?"

"Fine, just untie her already," Sweetie Belle said impatiently.

"Yeah, yeah. Come over here Flim, help me untie her. We have to hurry; we go onstage in less than two minutes."

As the two worked on untying the filly with the remaining crusaders watching on, a loud crashing noise was heard. A second later, Flim and Flam were tackled by a shrieking blue mare. "The Great and Powerful Trixie demands that you give up your showtime!"

"No way, you crazy horse!" yelled Flam as he struggled to escape Trixie. That was a mistake.

"How dare you," snarled Trixie. She fired up her horn and transformed Flim into a bird and Flam into a frog. After stopping to catch her breath, she declared "There we go. Now, to prepare to troll some ponies." And with that, she walked into her trailer parked off to the side of the stage, leaving the Cutie Mark Crusaders sitting backstage in utter confusion.

"What... Just happened?" Apple Bloom said, finally waking up.

A couple hours later, Flim the bird and Flam the frog were transformed into oranges by Twilight Sparkle.

Trixie the Great and Powerful Mayor

Trixie set her quill down and looked over her letter one more time.

Dear Madame Mayor,

It is come to my attention that you seem to be getting old. Your hair is gray (mine is a little too, but I'm unique). When you       die, I would like your permission to take your place as ruler. Your plain town needs a great and powerful ruler such as I to take charge. Also, I just want to be within blasting range of Twilight Sp Ponyville would surely flourish and prosper under my rule. Please  consider all of this. Of course, I could just burn down city hall and take your place but I'm trying to turn over a new leaf.

       Sincerely,

   Trixie Lul Trixie the Great and Powerful

Satisfied, Trixie rolled up the letter and fastened it with her own seal. She had been very polite in the letter and was positive she would get the job. Now to deliver it.

Trixie poked her head out of her trailer and saw a mailmare flying by. She had derpy eyes and bubbles for a cutie mark. "Hey, you!" Trixie shouted. "Derpy eyes!"  The pegasus heard her and flew down.

"Do you need something?" she asked, choosing not to comment on being called 'derpy eyes'. She was used to it.

"Deliver this to the mayor for me, will you?" Derpy nodded and flew off with the letter to the mayor's office, which was about twenty feet away. Crashing through the door, she handed the letter to the first pony to help her up and flew off to continue her mail duties.

The next day, Trixie was performing at one of her shows and was just about to turn Sweetie Belle's head into a bell, Derpy barreled into her and almost knocked her off stage. After a great deal of cursing, Trixie reminded herself that she was trying to be on good behavior and managed to restrain herself from turning the pegasus into a bonfire and razing Ponyville. Instead, she silently took the package from Derpy. With glee, she saw that it was from the mayor.

Turning to the crowd, she announced "Yesterday, I applied to become the mayor. I bet that this package contains all the things I will need as mayor, as well as news that I am now the mayor of Ponyville!" She ignored the angry comments from her audience and opened the package.

The package contained a stink bomb, which promptly exploded in her face. The roars of laughter from the crowd angered her and she shouted "this is not funny!"

"Actually it is, old mare!" a stallion laughed.

"Old mare?" Trixie snarled. "The Great and Powerful Trixie demands to know why you called her an old mare!"

Some pony threw a mirror at her and she caught in her magic. She took one look at herself and screamed. "Aaaah! That old bat must've put an aging spell in there!" Humiliated, she ran off of the stage to hide until she could find a way to reverse the spell.

And in the back of the crowd, one mare smiled smugly. "Who's old now?" the mayor said softly to herself.

Trixie goes to Tartarus

Trixie snuggled deeper into the blankets on her bed, keeping her eyes closed. Beds always felt heavenly in the morning, and this morning was no exception. In fact, this was the most comfortable she had ever been in her bed for as long as she could remember. She wanted the morning to last forever, but as she felt herself start to fully wake up she knew it couldn't.

With a sigh, Trixie opened her eyes and found herself... Not in her own bed. Not knowing what else to do, she screamed. Oddly, she found her voice rather high-pitched.

The next second, she was very forcefully yanked upwards by unicorn magic. The unicorn magic of an angry, lavender unicorn that Trixie knew all too well. "Trixie, why are you in Spike's bed? If I don't get a decent explanation, I'm blasting you to Tartarus!" Twilight shouted, glaring daggers at Trixie.

"I don't know!" Trixie said, panicking. "I just woke up here!" Twilight snorted at that.

"A likely story." She threw Trixie into a bookshelf and turned to Spike. "Spike, take a letter," she ordered. When the young dragon got his quill ready, she said "Dear Princess Celestia, I ask for your permission to throw a pony into the depths of Tartarus. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle," she finished. Grinning evilly at Trixie, she cast a spell that banished her to Tartarus.

Trixie appeared in the darkness of Tartarus and stood still for a minute before walking off in a random direction. She walked right into a wall. Massaging her muzzle, she growled "Oh, I am so killing Twilight Sparkle as soon as I get out of here. I'm taking a shish-kabob and-" Trixie froze, sure that she heard something.

Quietly creeping forward, she managed to make out an angry male voice shouting  “I, the majestic King Sobra, ruler and conqueror of the Crystal Empire, command you to flush!” What the hay? Trixie thought. The voice was coming from her right, where a tiny bit of light could be seen about a mile away. Trixie figured that the light was coming from the same place as the voice and slowly started making her way over there, making her hoof steps as quiet as possible.

A second voice spoke, but Trixie couldn't make out the words. Whatever they were, they angered the owner of the first voice. "And you!" the first voice yelled, making Trixie jump a little. The voice said something else, but she couldn't really here it. She could only catch little snippets of what he was saying, such as "Get out!" and "Stupid toilet!" Trixie nearly jumped out of her own skin when a loud blast was heard and the area was illuminated by a giant ball of fire.

A third voice joined in the argument, and Trixie heard some 'bad words,' as her mother had called them. The third voice wasn't very happy about something. Taking a few steps closer to hear better, she suddenly found herself face to face with Nightmare Moon.

Nightmare Moon said "You don't belong here, although some ponies would argue that you certainly deserve to rot in Tartarus." The black alicorn then closed her eyes and used her magic to send Trixie back to her trailer.

Trixie sighed in relief and climbed into her own bed to take a nap, hoping that she wouldn't wake up in another one of her enemies' beds.

Nightmare Night part one: Costumes

"I don't get it," Trixie growled, picking at the uncomfortable sheet draped over her body. "What is the point of this?"

"It's Nightmare Night, oh Great and Powerful Trixie!" Snails exclaimed, Snips nodding a bit over enthusiastically. Trixie took a step back out of fear the imbecile's head might fly off and injure her, possibly even bruising her. It just wouldn't do to perform with an unsightly blemish on her body.

"That's not what I meant. Why is it that you two are having me wear a sheet? This better not be from my bed... Oh, it's from my bed. If and afford another sheet! And why did you cut holes in it?"

"The sheet makes you look like a ghost!" Snails explained. "I cut the holes for your eyes so that you could see."

Trixie facehoofed. "I can't see, because the last time I checked, my eyes are not located on my flank!" Trixie shouted at Snails, who was too dumb to register that she was angry. He didn't even flinch when she pressed her nose up to his and- "Oh eww! Don't you ever blow your nose?" Trixie yelled, jumping up and frantically rubbing her nose with her hooves, trying to wipe off Snails snot while Snips followed behind her, examining her flank.

"Snails, you idiot," he muttered, glaring at the holes in the sheet. "I shouldn't have let you touch my scissors."

The other two ponies ignores him, although Trixie was highly aware of the colt staring at her flank.

"Ugh, you're disgusting. Both of you. Anyway, I don't have time for such trivial matters as Nightmare Night."

"But you have to go!" Snails protested.

"Unless I can go as myself, no," Trixie said stubbornly.

"Please? For me?" Snips begged. Trixie didn't really care for the colt, but she humored him anyway.

"Fine," Trixie snapped angrily, "but I'm doing this my own way." Trixie used her magic to transform herself, deciding that transformation would be better than wearing a silly costume. When she was done transforming, Snips and Snails shrieked in horror.

"Wha-what are you?" Snips finally managed to stammer out, taking a step back in horror.

"Is there a problem with my costume?" Trixie demanded, drawing herself up to her full height, which was quite large considering that she was an alicorn. "I am Fanged Doom, a pony who rules over Equestria! I have special powers and even though I was born a poor cripple, I quickly ascended and became great. Fanged Doom is the main character in the book I'm writing," she explained.

"W-well I guess if the Great and Powerful Trixie l-likes it, then so will all of Ponyville. Come on, let's go to the festivities."

The trio walked out of the trailer and into Ponyville.

To be continued...

Trixie buys a washing machine from the future

Trixie was hiding in a dark ally with an enormous box. Some ponies stopped and gave her curious looks, but none called out to her or stayed long. They knew better than to mess with the insane.

Trixie didn't normally spend her Tuesday afternoons in dark alleys, but she had a good reason for it today: she had ordered an item from the future. Having spied on Twilight Sparkle, Trixie knew how dangerous time travel could be, so she was making sure nopony would see the device. It was called a "washing machine," and it was normally run on something called electricity. Trixie didn't know what store electricity was sold at, so she ordered a special edition of the machine that was powered by unicorn magic. However, because she didn't believe on wasting her precious, great and powerful magic on something so trivial as a washing machine, she made the store clerk to use her magic instead.

First, Trixie used her magic to lift the machine out of the cardboard box. Then, she opened the door to the washing machine and, after removing them from herself, shoved her cape and hat inside. Pushing the large circular "on" button with her hoof, she couldn't suppress her evil grin as the washing machine hummed and powered up. There was nothing particularly evil about what she was doing, but machines excited her and she didn't know how to smile normally.

Unfortunately, she had forgotten to close the door and she was immediately greeted by a blast of water to her face.

"Gah!" she sputtered, spitting out bits of laundry detergent. "How dare you soak the Great and Powerful Trixie!" she shrieked, firing up her horn. She only intended to shove the offending machine away from her, but her shock caused her to engulf it in a fiery inferno that the water couldn't quench.

"Noooo! My cape! My hat! I can't be great and powerful without any accessories!" Trixie wailed, causing several ponies to stop and stare. Embarrassed by her lack of outfit, Trixie crawled inside the washing machine's box and hid from the world for the very first time. She had just publicly humiliated herself in front of four curious onlookers. Four.She couldn't bear the shame of it. Celestia herself would banish Trixie to the moon. Then, when she returned, she would be turned into something ugly like Rarity and put on display in Canterlot for all of Equestria to laugh at. She-

"Wow, how'd you do that? That was a really neat trick you did with the exploding cube," a voice said. Trixie sprang out of her box faster than lightning, expecting a crowd of ponies making fun of her. Instead, she saw a young unicorn filly with a bright pink mane looking at her in awe. "I can't do anything like that with my magic," the filly continued. "My parents think I'm a failure. Do you think you could teach me a trick? I want to show them I'm not completely useless.

"Who are you?" demanded Trixie, having regained her composure.

"My name's Smart Cookie, but ponies say I'm really dumb so you can just call me Cookie. Can you show me how to be as awesome as you?" Cookie pleaded, looking up at Trixie with sad brown eyes. Trixie gazed back into her eyes, realizing with a start that the eyes weren't completely brown. They were ringed with some shade of blue, but it was too dark to tell exactly what color.

"You... think I'm awesome?" Trixie asked.

"Yeah, way awesome!" Smart Cookie exclaimed happily. Trixie gave a small smile; it was not an evil one this time.

"Thanks kid. So, about that magic trick..."

Teacher Trixie

"Why am I doing this again?" Trixie grumbled as she was indignantly pushed across Ponyville, her butt dragging on the ground and creating a long pathway that stretched on for about half a mile.

"Because," Snips replied, panting a bit from the effort of pushing a fully grown mare across town, "you need to show ponies that the Great and Powerful Trixie is amazing at everything, and you said you'd never tried being a substitute teacher before. And can me and Snails take a break?" he pleaded.

"Snails and I," Trixie corrected the foal. "And why would you desire a break? I don't need rest, if that's what you're concerned about."

"Well, it's kind of exhausting doing this," Snails groaned as he gave Trixie another shove, glaring at his friend who had abandoned him and left him to do all the hard work. Trixie dug her hooves into the dirt and whipped her head around sharply.

"Are you suggesting that I'm overweight?" she snarled, causing the two colts to jump up and try to hide behind each other, but only succeeding in smashing their heads together. "Hmmph, I don't need you anyway," Trixie huffed. She yawned, stretched out her limbs and stood up, then walked the rest of the way to the Ponyville schoolhouse as Snips and Snails rubbed their heads and ran in circles trying to hit each other. Of course, she wasn't actually walking. She had cast a floating spell on herself because really, who has time for walking? Certainly not a mare as important as she.

*******

"So!" Trixie declared, dropping the chalk back onto the ledge. She turned back around to face the class, smiled, and used the teacher's pointer to rap upon the chalkboard where she had written her name. "So! I'm your substitute teacher today, and that's my name up on the board. I hope you foals know how to read by now, but we'll be doing easy stuff today anyway. History and algebra. I think those come before reading... right?" The class gave her blank stares and a few snapped back into reality enough to shake their heads in disagreement, but of course Trixie didn't notice. "So, history! Let's start with the history of me. I'll give you a pop quiz to see how much you know. Snips, Snails, pass them out. I said pass them out!" Trixie searched around the room with her eyes to find the two insufferably retarded colts so she could yell at them some more, but she couldn't find them. "Oh, whatever. Just come up to my desk and grab a paper. Try not to kill each other; that might decrease my paycheck."

Trixie had to jump back as a rush of foals stampeded to the front of the room. The first colt quickly grabbed a paper in his teeth and sped away, causing a whirlwind of papers to fly everywhere and a large crowd of ponies all tackled each other in the effort to get a paper. Only Sweetie Belle stayed off to the side, with an eyebrow raised and unable to fathom why any of her classmates wanted to do schoolwork so badly.

Trixie opened her mouth to shout at them, but they were already back in their seats with their assignments. How, she had no idea, but she wasn't complaining. They were cooperating, so there was no reason to do anything more. Trixie shut her mouth and sat down in her chair, watching as some students feverishly scribbled downs answers while others twirled their hair and fidgeted. All was peaceful for about half a minute before a loud band suddenly sounded and half the class jumped and turned to glare at whatever had caused such a commotion.

Snips and Snails burst into the room, panting and thoroughly drenched in sweat. For some reason, Snips had a bright pink mane and ice skates glued to his hooves, and Snails had bubble gum in his hair and an anvil tied tightly to one of his hind legs. "We ran into Discord," Snips muttered to a nearby classmate. Trixie somehow failed to notice these small details and instead focused on the one thing that made her angry: two of her students were very, very late for class.

"You two, detention, after school," she growled. "You'll be polishing my horseshoes."

Snips raised an eyebrow at that. He and Snails did that multiple times a day, so he didn't see how that was much of a punishment. In fact, it was an honor to polish such Great and Powerful Hooves! Except he didn't know how he was going to polish them if he had skates on his hooves. He had a loose tooth, so he couldn't hold rags in his mouth, and he didn't know how to use magic. He raised his hoof to get Trixie's attention. "Oh Great and Powerful Trixie, it is impossible for me to polish your hooves with these skates on! What can I do instead?"

Trixie pondered on this for a moment while Snips and Snails sat down in their seats, then slowly nodded as an idea came to her. "Yes, you're right. Since you can't polish, a more suitable punishment is to have the entire class stay after school and polish all of my Great and Powerful Belongings, knowing that it was you who doomed them to their punishment. Yes, that's wonderful. All of you will be staying after school!"

And the world dissolved into chaos. Diamond Tiara started wailing, and Silver Spoon quickly followed her lead and burst into tears as well. Apple Bloom kicked Snips in the muzzle. Twist tried to kick Snails in the plot, but her hoof stuck to the bubble gum and she couldn't move. She tried to pull away, but the anvil kept them both rooted in place, so she just settled for trying to yank his tail off. The rest of the class just attacked everything from Trixie to the globe on the desk. It was complete pandemonium.

At that moment, the Lord, spirit, or whatever you want to call him of chaos, having sensed the chaos, strode through the open door with a large grin on his face. It started to float off of his face, but he quickly grabbed it and shoved it back on. "My, my, how to mess with these ponies..."

He thought for a minute. Then five, then ten, his grin slowly turning into a frown. He couldn't think of any way to make this more chaotic. Trixie's magic and all the fighting were chaotic enough already. Anything he did would ruin it. He shrugged and teleported away to put sneezing powder in Celestia's tea.

Famous is Dumb

After many years, Discord got bored of being reformed and took over Equestria again. Naturally, everything was thrown into chaos and disorder. Somehow, as a result of many events that happened at the perfect times, Trixie became famous and gained many fans. Great, right?

"Stop it! Trixie does not wish to be followed into her private dressing room!" Trixie shrieked, sweating as she strained her magic to hold back the crown of adoring fans pushing and shoving each other onto the floor just to get closer to her. "I said stop it! You can gaze and me and drink in my greatness soon, once the show starts!"

Trixie stumbled into her dressing room and slammed the door behind her, bolting it shut and pressing her body against it for extra measure. Chest heaving as she struggled to catch her breath, she made a mental note to fire all of her security guards and hire ones that actually knew what they were doing.

At first, when she became famous, Trixie was overjoyed. Sure, they only liked her because Discord had screwed up their minds, but that was no no matter to Trixie. She didn't really care why, but they practically worshiped her and that's all that mattered.

Sighing, Trixie blocked out the  noises of the cheering fans in the background and made her way over to the table in the room. Her cape and hat were freshly ironed and neatly laid out on the said table, and she put them on with robotic movements. She'd done this so many times before, and now the action no longer filled her with excitement. It was just another mundane act to her.

After double-checking her reflection in the mirror to make sure she looked presentable for her show, she exited the room and made her way to the stage, pushing past the few straggling fans that were to obsessed with seeing her up close to realize that the show was to start soon. She walked into the bright stage lights and the crowd erupted into cheers. As much as she tried to suppress it, a small smile tugged at Trixie's lips. Although performing wasn't as special to her now as it was when she was less well-known, she still loved being cheered on like that.

When the cheering finally died down a bit to more of a deafening roar than Princess Luna screaming death metal into a megaphone in her Royal Canterlot voice, Trixie began her first trick. She grinned at the audience, paused for dramatic effect, and... made chocolate milk rain down from the sky? What?

Despite having absolutely no idea what was going on, the crowd went wild at this and shouted all sorts of praises at the Great and Powerful Trixie, who was looking more like the Confused and Drenched-wth-chocolate-milk Trixie. She looked around wildly at , and to her horror, saw Discord floating above the audience in a bathtub that seemed to be made out of oranges.

"Well now, that is an excellent trick. Would you teach me it sometime, oh Great and Powerful Trixie?" he said.

Trixie tried to say something really cool and intelligent, but her jaw just dropped and smashed onto the floor. The crowd erupted into cheers again at this.

"Oh my, that's not good... you know what, you should get that looked at by a doctor. And just to be on the safe side, no more performing for you," Discord  declared, and he climbed out of his bathtub and started walking away on thin air, a pink towel wrapped around his middle. However, he looked back at the crowd, realizing that they would never let her stop performing. "Hm, well that just won't do..." he muttered to himself.

He snapped his fingers and immediately the crowd fell silent. Then they started yelling.

"What the hell am I doing here?!"

"Isn't that the crazy fraud pony?"

"When did I get this tattoo that says Trixie? ... Someone must have drugged me or something and tattooed me! Ah! Police, help!"

"IT'S WAY PAST YOUR BEDTIME YOUNG MARE!!! GO HOME AT ONCE AND YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE!!!"

Slowly, the angry crowd dispersed and everypony left, leaving Trixie all alone.

Suddenly, she missed being famous.

The Panda's Pet

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Glue sticks and Tape

Trixie watched as Twilight Sparkle's tree was blasted by a fireball. This is my chance, she thought. This is my chance to prove to Twilight Sparkle that not only am I great and powerful, but helpful too. Checking her saddlebags once more to make sure she had what she needed, she made her way towards the burning tree.

Up close, the tree looked a lot worse. There was barely any piece of it without any damage showing. She wasn't sure anymore that she would be able to fix it.

"Stop that," Trixie scolded herself. "I am the Great and Powerful Trixie. I can do anything." With her newfound confidence, Trixie cast a protection spell on herself before tentatively stepping into the fiery inferno.

She immediately regretted it.

Choking on the thick smoke, she quickly cast a breathing spell over herself. Once she was sure that the spell was working properly, she dug through her saddlebags and spread out her supplies. A comb, a roll of tape, and a glue stick. Lifting the comb with her magic, she quickly combed her hair. If she was going to do something good, she might as well do it with perfect hair. After all, if a stray hair was out of place, it could be ignited by the flames and then she would be bald for a long time. She would have to wait until she got home later that day to regrow it, and when the crowd of ponies surrounded her to congratulate her on her good deed, she did not want to be bald when her picture was taken for the newspaper.

Lowering the comb back into her saddlebags, Trixie picked up the tape and the glue stick. Seeing a small hole in one of the library's walls, she trotted over and ripped a piece of tape from the roll. Not knowing how tape worked, she uncapped the glue and applied to to both sides of the piece of tape, then levitated it over and patched up the hole.

"My work here is done," said Trixie, feeling proud of herself. "I have repaired this establishment." Head held high, she pranced out of the building, leaving the tape and glue behind.

When she stepped out into the streets, she was shocked to find that there were no reporters waiting for her. "But I just saved this tree!" She exclaimed angrily. When no pony replied, she angrily used her magic to chuck a stone at the tree house. The library chose that moment to completely collapse into a pile of burning splinters.

And of course, the reporters chose that moment to arrive.

As the reporters surrounded her, demanding to know why she burned the place down, Trixie lowered her head and sighed. "Maybe next time," she said sadly.

Too much stuff

Trixie was walking through the park with her nose in the air when she tripped over something and fell flat on her face. Furious, she picked herself up to confront the offending object, but stopped short when she saw what it was. It was a sack with a note attached to the side of it. It read:

Dear stranger,

Congratulations on discovering my life savings. After I obtained all of this money, I realized that I wanted to spend the rest of my life exploring Tartarus and that I wouldn't need all this money. I left it out for anypony to find, for I believe in making others happy. I would've donated it to charity, but I have absolutely no idea how to do that. Enjoy your money. The bag has about five million bits in it.

Trixie flung the bag over her back and did a little excited dance before galloping full speed to the store. In the hours that followed, she bought a hot tub, a golden statue of herself, a giant diamond, an assortment of fancy overpriced pastries, lots of other unnecessary  things and a mansion to house it all in.

Later that night when she was relaxing in her hot tub with her personal assistant feeding her fancy chocolates, she realized that with all the stuff she had she wouldn't be able to exit her bathroom. Panicked, she sent a letter to Twilight Sparkle, who would surely know how to fix this. Twilight Sparkle replied back, suggesting that maybe she should donate all of her stuff to more unfortunate ponies.

Help others? No way! Trixie fired up her horn and blew up her entire mansion. Unfortunately, her old house was located next to her mansion, so that blew up too.

A couple days later she tried to go to a homeless shelter, but they kicked her out because of the way she had so callously wasted her money. Trixie was forced to get a job as a sewage cleaner for the next week until she could save up to pay the rent for her trailer.