Daring Do and the Gryphon's Goblet

by Sir Squidfish

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Daring Do, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 8342

2nd book in RD's favorite series

Daring Do dreams of being a great explorer. But her lack of funds and contacts has kept her grounded as a low-paid schoolteacher in Indianapples. This all changes, however, on the fateful day she first hears of the intriguing artifact known as the Gryphon's Goblet. This one is for Rainbow Dash. I know, I know. But really. I like to think she's out there somewhere reading this. Yeah, I'm just loco like that.

Published 2012-04-24 01:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-15 17:22:41 UTC

Chapter 1

Daring Do and the Gryphon’s Goblet
Part 1

The blistering heat of the afternoon sun beat down on Daring Do as she wearily plodded through the desert. She wished she had a cold glass of alfalfa juice right now… even one sip. A drop of water… Stop it, she mentally upbraided herself. Thinking about water right now is the quickest path to a straight jacket in a rubber room. Assuming I ever get out of this scrape…
She thought back to her previous adventure. She had gotten out of some pretty tough, even seemingly impossible situations, there was no denying that. But now… now she wasn’t so sure. A slightly morbid and humorous thought crossed her mind. Why do all my adventures seem to involve me getting stranded in a very hot climate with no water? She wondered, stretching her tired legs and gazing around at the barren landscape. Maybe I shouldn’t stereotype after only one and a half tries. It was true that the majority of her escapades existed only in her imagination. But this was here. This was real.
She sat down for a second, resting and wishing she had some shade to take a nap in. Sleep… what a great idea. Her eyelids began to droop. Her legs started buckling under her. Sleep, she repeated as her head began to nod…
She suddenly snapped her eyes open and bolted upright. Stupid, stupid, stupid! She scolded herself again. If she fell asleep now, she would never make it out of the desert alive. To close her eyes… she might as well begin digging her grave. I have to keep walking, she determined, just keep going east. I can’t miss my direction, and at least for now that means walking away from the sun. She had to do something, think of something else than this discomfort and thirst and hunger and tired legs and tired eyes and heat… Good job, she told herself ruefully. She found herself automatically reviewing her past, right up to the start of this whole blasted expedition. The school, her normal life as a teacher, her home in Indianapples- and that fateful day when she first heard of the priceless and mysterious artifact known as the Gryphon’s Goblet…
***
Daring Do sighed into her desk. Her students were acting just like she used to at their age. Did small ponies ever change? She surreptitiously glanced at her class again. Sure enough, there was Feather Duster shooting spitballs at Peppercane again, Coconutty fluttering her eyelashes at Spickenspan, and Sweatybloom passing notes to Platinum Bling… No, all that ever changed over the years was the cafeteria food- she couldn’t understand how anypony was supposed to swallow that garbage. She forced herself to focus on her class. They were wild, all right. But nothing the world’s number one daredevil bonafide explorer couldn’t handle, right?... Right? She watched Peppercane yell at Feather Duster, Spickenspan fall off his bench, and Platinum Bling laughing so hard she sounded like a damaged pig. Daring decided enough was enough. It was time for action. She would… she would…
The bell rang.
Luna, that was close, she thought.
“Alright everypony, thanks for…” The students were already stampeding out the back door.
“Page 78 on mythological monsters and… Aw, forget it,” she muttered.
Another great day of cheerful education!
She hated her job.
***

Daring Do shook her head, causing sand to fall out of her explorer’s hat and onto the ground. More sand… She wished now that she had stayed in Indianapples. So what if she hated her job? At least being a teacher didn’t get you shot at or tied down in a crumbling temple or melted by ancient magical relics… or crippled. She looked sadly at her wing. It hadn’t set right when she’d broken it before, and now it was back in its splint, pinioned uselessly against her side. If her wing were in proper shape she would have been out of this heat days ago and back on the trail of the Gryphon’s Goblet. What ever possesses me to go on these crazy snipe hunts in the first place? She wondered. She recalled again the start of this exploit, why she had consented to it at all…
***

Daring Do sat in her home on Mane Street, looking through the window and watching the ponies go by. She was bored. Very, very bored. Bored enough to chase crickets around the yard? Not quite. Bored enough to feel sullen and pouty? Definitely.

She wished she had gone with her friends to the Steedway instead of staying home all night. The Wonderbolts were performing there- Flame On, Jetwheels, and that new guy… Sauromon? Sauron? Soarin, that was it. Daring was a huge fan of the veteran Wonderbolts, but she figured the chunky rookie would never amount to much.

Her friends had invited her to the exhibition last week, but it was the same old story. Daring didn’t have much money- being a teacher paid less than she expected. Every once in a while, she might get an offer to go to an archaeological dig or expedition, and that would give her a bonus. If she got lucky, she might even be able to sell the Canterlot museum an artifact or two- then there would be money for a while. But the rest of the time, there was barely enough in the teacup to keep the rent paid, much less shell out 120 bits on a Steedway ticket. She sighed. One of these days she was going to get a better job than schoolteacher to a bunch of rowdy foals… one day.

She knew she should be grading papers or tests or preparing for the weekend or something… Anything. But she couldn’t seem to shake her current mood. Summer break was coming up- maybe she could find something better to do with her life then. Maybe. She had always wanted to be a great adventurer, and in truth she already was- the incident with the sapphire statue had proven that. Yet here she was, a mediocre schoolteacher stuck in Indianapples, bored out of her skull because she wasn’t making enough to afford one little trip to the Steedway. Bored enough to sit here talking to herself when she should be working. Bored enough to go out and rob a bank, she joked silently. She knew she could never resort to crime even if she wanted to- and it certainly wasn’t a question of guts. Her inborn sense of justice would never allow her to do anything dishonest, even without her firsthand witness that crime never pays. No, she was no bank robber. But she was a world class explorer. Albeit an explorer grounded because of a broken wing. An explorer stuck teaching rowdy foals arithmetic and whatever else they didn’t want to learn. Stuck in Indianapples. Daring smiled grimly- she was totally conscious of the fact that her pity party had now come full circle.

Well, alright already, enough with the heroic introspection, she silently chuckled. She halfheartedly picked up a math test and started to grade it. Her mind wasn’t on her work though, and she found herself getting distracted. She sighed. The whole thing simply wasn’t worth the effort. Maybe I could just give them all A’s…

She straightened up. Come on, Daring, ditch the attitude. What would you normally do to cheer yourself up? She frowned. Normally, she would go to the park and fly the tar out of the clouds until she felt dizzy enough to consider landing. Not an option with a busted wing. She started to put her head back down, then perked up slightly. She would go for a walk.
A walk… Wow, that was a radical concept. In the past, she had sometimes wondered why pegasi even had hooves… Well, now she knew. She closed the test book with a decisive bang, grabbed her hat, looked at the hat, grimaced, put the hat back on the peg, and started out the door.
***
Unobserved by the grounded explorer, a coal-black pony a block away was monitoring Daring through binoculars. He pointed at her and muttered something to himself in a foreign language. The stranger watched her trotting away from her house and he put down the lenses. Checking to make sure he was not noticed by curious eyes, he strode up to the front door of her house and carefully slipped something through the mail slot. He then crossed the street and entered a nearby establishment, choosing a seat near the window with the best vantage point of the mare’s front door. He ordered a drink and settled into his bench. Then he did something totally unexpected.
He smiled.

Chapter 2

Readers-

Ok (pant, pant). Here it is: Part II. It’s almost a miracle I ever completed this. Sorry it took so long. Next time someone slap me before I attempt to keep up with two sagas at once while still somehow keeping up with my hectic life and hectic school assignments. Thanks.

-X.F.
~~~

Daring Do paused for a moment in her trek across the sandy wasteland. She looked up to the sky, hoping to see a bird, some sign of life. Blue sky, brighter-than-necessary sun, no clouds… the kind of day that would have been perfect back in Indianapples. But here in the desert the sun was painful to her exhausted eyes, she would have gladly welcomed even one cloud. Clouds could mean rain, and rain meant a drink.
Seeing nothing in the firmament worth her attention, she turned her bloodshot gaze to the landscape, wishing even for a cactus to provide her with some moisture. All she saw in any direction was sand, sand, and more sand, occasionally broken up by a small outcrop of rocks and bones. Bones mainly of birds and small animals, but not always. Some she recognized as the complete skeletons of ponies. Ponies who hadn’t made it. She realized that unless something drastic happened, she would soon be joining their ranks.
But she wasn’t dead yet. And she wasn’t about to just lie down and give up, either. She would keep going until she had no strength left in her imagination to have strength left, and maybe even a little after that, too. As long as I can put one hoof in front of the other, I’m getting somewhere, she decided. It’ll be a walk in the park, she mentally continued, with some amount of grim humor. A walk in the park… it was a strange choice of words, all things considered, seeing as it was literally a walk in the park that had kicked off this whole mess of an extended field trip. And this is why walking can be detrimental to your health…

***

Daring picked up her pace as she trotted along the sidewalk leading up to her street. She was glad she’d decided to go on a walk… it had been a breath of fresh air in more ways than one. The clear sky, the trees, the birds… and no hyperactive foals to ruin it for her. She was still loathe to come back and pick up her work again, but less so than before. She felt more awake and full of energy than she had before. Rejuvenated. That was the word. Recharged. She took a deep breath of late spring air, savoring it for a moment before exhaling. Ahhhhhh. Serenity.

She walked through her door and fell flat on her nose.

Getting up quickly, she rummaged around the hallway to see what had caused her to trip. She found an object that looked like a small, flattish cardboard box, knocked aside into one corner when she stumbled over it. Picking it up gingerly in her teeth, she deposited it on her small table and lit a nearby lamp for better visibility. She eyeballed the surface of the box thoroughly, but was unable to find any markings which might identify its sender.
Strange…
She flipped the box right side up and carefully undid the string. She still wasn’t sure why she was being so cautious; it was probably just a gift from a secret admirer. Except, to the best of her knowledge, she didn’t have a secret admirer. Although, if she did, it was more than likely that he would be…secret… This was getting dumb fast. She ripped the box open, thrust her teeth in to see what she had got, and encountered a mass of wires.
Wires…
In less time than it takes to write this, she had seen through the wires, noticed a kind of hard putty, and seen the numbers rolling down from 10 on the analog display.
Uh oh.

Rapidly bucking open the window and hurling the package into the petunias in one smooth movement, she hit the floor under the table just as a piercing FLASH-BOOM! echoed outside, its supplier razing the flowerbed in a second. Bits of earth and petunia floated through the window a moment later. Still lying low, the pegasus edged away from the window, eyes flicking around the room. Nopony outside seemed to have noticed, then again, kids were always setting off firecrackers around here. The noise was nothing unusual, although she did wonder if anypony had seen the devastation wreaked on her garden.

There didn’t seem to be any immediate danger, so she picked up a paperweight and bunged it at the cardboard box which had held the bomb.
She held her breath for a second. Nothing. She waited a moment more, and then retrieved the box, taking it to the corner of the room with the lamp, still away from the window. She looked inside the box cautiously, ready to chuck it away at the first sign of anything suspicious. There didn’t seem to be anything inside, except a bit of dirt. She tipped it out onto the desk anyway, setting up her magnifying glass in its stand so she could see more clearly what it was she had.

It wasn’t dirt.

What she had found was a few pieces of hair, probably from the mane or tail of whoever had packed her “special delivery”. And… deeper in the box. Was that… a tooth cap? Examining it thoroughly, she found that it was indeed the decorative gold mouth ornament used by some upper class ponies. Usually not around here though…

A faint smile played about her lips. She had wanted an adventure, and here it was. “And I,” she resolved, “am going to see this one through myself.” Of course, she could have simply reported the matter to the authorities, stationed a few obliging officers, and had done with it. But for some obscure reason, she just didn’t want to. Perhaps it was the monotony of her daily life. Perhaps it was simply her investigative nature. But she was going to do this thing on her own.
“The first thing to do” she said, reasoning it out in her rapid but logical manner, “is to take this down to the lab. Of course, it will probably be closed, and I don’t have a key since it’s not at my school….” This is why you should have stayed at college and gotten your doc… a voice in her head whispered. But I don’t need a doctorate to crack this, so shut up please… she told it. Aha! Chemist Guy had a key; he was the chemistry prof at the university. Not to mention that he was a jolly, obliging type, particularly when it came to charming young mares. The university lab, then. And after that… Wing it, she decided, mentally quoting the old pegasus phrase.

***

Daring Do kept on walking even though her muscles screamed in protest, her tongue felt like a dehydrated block of sandpaper, and her stomach was beginning to think her head had fallen off. Had to be little miss Dindin, didn’t you? she thought, remembering her younger days and her fascination with comic books, particularly the adventures of Dindin the Belgian explorer and his nautical friend Captain Hatrack. Had to analyze everything. Everything except how stupid the whole thing seemed in retrospect. She mentally bet that this was NOT how Dindin would have ended up. Good old Dindin. He always came out on top. Then again, continuing stories usually like to keep the hero alive until the next installment…. The brown pegasus attempted a sigh and winced. If only her life was as simple as that. But the real world goes on- it doesn’t care about my puny little existence. So the task of making sure my life HAS another installment… falls to me.
She straightened up as she kept on trudging toward the unknown. A great calm seemed to have descended upon her as she accepted the fact that her life would very soon be completed. She would eventually collapse, and that would be the last thing she remembered. But until then… She gave a cracked smile.
She was Stayin’ Alive.

///
Note to self- For the last time, install smaller mail slot, darn it!
-D.D.

Chapter 3

Daring Do had found a frog. From underneath a rock in a small crevice the large specimen, Litoria Platycephala, peered unblinkingly up at her. If there had been anyone else within miles they would certainly have found it an odd sight: The pony, appearing totally haggard and on Pluto’s very doormat, squinting through the intense sunlight to make out the reptile- calm, cool, and composed- huddled comfortably in its small nest of sandy earth. A frog… such a simple organism on the surface, yet she knew it truly to be an unimaginably complicated piece of existence, unaccountably able to survive in this hostile environment of sand and sun. She found herself silently rambling and wishing, not for the first time, that she too could subsist in this sort of natural inferno.

It was never like this in Indianapples… Although, she added, darkly humorous to the end, If I’d just waited five more minutes, it just might have turned out to be… Five minutes was just what she didn’t have right now, and she mentally kicked herself for every minute of her life she had ever wasted. Wasted…This whole escapade was a waste. A waste of time, of energy…
Of Life.

If only she had never gone for that walk…or opened the package…or tried to handle the results on her own. She wished none of these things had ever happened to her. If her life had remained as it was, even as much as she hated it, she would never trade it for this.
Or would she?
Why had she felt such a great yearning for the outdoors after so much monotony? Why was it that she would take such precaution in opening a simple parcel? What was it that drove her to investigate by herself rather than let the authorities handle it as anypony else would have done? And how was it that, stranded in the scorching heat of the desert with only a hat and a frog, she knew just what to do? There could be but one answer.

She was Daring Do, Explorer, Archaeologist, Adventurer.

***

Daring Do peered intently through the microscope lens at the slide she had newly prepared. At one in the morning, the light of the lab she occupied was the only one in the building that was still on. She didn’t care-- she felt she was on the verge of an investigative breakthrough. For hours she had strained her eyes on the samples of hair and saliva she had found in the box, but until now she had had no luck.
She suddenly found herself revived with new energy as she compared the cells on the hair sample to a textbook illustration of cells from a Neighbian’s mane. They were identical, she was sure of it! This meant that whoever had packaged the bomb must have been a foreigner, a citizen of Neighbia by birth. Since Neighbians were an absolute rarity in any part of Equestria, and even more so in Indianapples, this meant that the assailant would be easy to spot in any crowd.
Daring Do let out a sort of sigh coupled with a relieved neigh. She hadn’t realized she’d been holding her breath for the past minute. With this latest breakthrough, she felt she had a chance.
Not that I didn’t have the situation well in hoof from the beginning… She lied silently, comically hoping that she would believe herself. After all, she had the most innocent eyes…

She looked at her reflection in a nearby beaker and laughed. Her eyes were bloodshot (again!) from hours of poring over microscopes and dusty old textbooks in her investigative frenzy, her mane was even more frazzled than usual, and her lips were curled into something approaching a maniacal grin.
Or… not so innocent.

She shrugged and began packing up her work. Unlike most young mares, she didn’t really give a buck for fashion or keeping up a perfect appearance. While she rated personal cleanliness as a very important virtue, when it came to style, a plain vest and hat were good enough for her most days. She was a schoolteacher, a rugged explorer, not some anorexic model. Keep it simple had been her motto, and so far she had found nothing wrong with it.

She finished wrapping up all her findings and slipped them into her satchel for future reference. She cleaned up the lab, put everything back in its place so that NEAT FREAK Chemist Guy would have nothing to complain about next time she asked to use the laboratory, put away a few things she had not taken out just for good measure, and walked out the door with her bag in tow and a massive headache from another late night playing detective. She turned off all the lights and headed home.

The next day dawned bright and clear, and Daring Do was up with the rooster as usual. She toddled over to the mirror and surveyed the wreckage that had been her mane. She sighed and ran a mounted comb through it until she was satisfied with the results. Now her mane looked messy; before, it had needed only a tape border to complete it as a confirmed disaster area.
She completed her toilet and morning exercises and then headed over to her desk away from the window to organize her day. After contemplating the blank parchment before her for a few moments, she picked up a pencil in her mouth and began to write:

Item one: Review notes from last night and copy all pertinent information on suspect.
Item two: Question the neighbors and shop owners in this vicinity. They may have seen suspect around.
Item three: PROCEED WITH CAUTION. This is no foalish prank I’m dealing with. Treat it with all seriousness.
Item four: Think before I confront suspect. In the name of Celestia, THINK. Now I’ve got him, what do I do with him? Foals rush in where alicorns dare to trot.

She paused. She felt there was more to think about, much more, but she couldn’t think what she could have missed. It was all pretty simple, really. Review, Interview, Preview before proceeding. RIP.
Oh, lovely…
She faced the mirror again and straightened her vest. Right. Hat on. Saddlebags securely fastened. Notebook, pen, pencil, hoofkerchief, blackjack, bag, rope… Good. All the usual geedunk in its nest. Time to get it done. After reviewing her notes and taking some new ones, she decided to go talk to the locals first. She’d get most of the clues she needed from what they had observed.

“No, can’t say I have.”

“Sorry, can’t help you.”

“Not really, just the usual I guess.”

“And what was it you were selling again, dearie?”

Such were the responses Daring garnered at nearly every door on which she knocked. The others- the ones who didn’t have totally inane replies for her- just weren’t home. She was getting discouraged and a little annoyed. Come on, ponies, have you no EYES? Do you notice NOTHING? Why was it that the more magic and technology advanced, the less anypony felt the need to use her brain? Princess forbid that technology should ever entirely replace free, organic thought, but some days it certainly seemed close to it.

After checking at nearly every home in her neighborhood, the mare decided she should have started at the local businesses. Since she couldn’t go back in time and un-waste her morning, she did the next best thing: She started walking to the nearest string of restaurants, the ones right across from her house.

As she plodded from eatery to eatery, she found the patrons and management to be about as helpful as that one guy who always yells “Did you fall?” as you lie on the ground thinking about how many cadaver teams it will take to recover your innards-- in other words, they weren’t. Helpful. They weren’t helpful. She almost decided just to call it quits for the day and go home to crash, but she stuck to the principal of the thing and tripped up to the last building in the row, a smallish diner called Al’s Greasy Nose.
Must attract a lot of customers with a name like that…
She walked through the door and marched straight up to the stallion tending the bar. The barkeep was always in the know-- this she had learned from extensive experience and a lot of old mystery novels.

“Excuse me, but have you seen a Neighbian with a black mane, black tail, or black mane and tail in here recently?”

The bestubbled specimen behind the counter took a moment to consider the question, and then recognition dawned on his features. Daring Do held her breath and waited for his reply. It was not long in coming.

“Hey, you’re that teacher from the Indianapples system, right? Great job on your speech last Sunday at the Museum…”

While Daring was pleased at being remembered, she was in no mood for idle chatter, even if it was compliments-- something she didn’t get every day. She coughed.

“The Neighbian?”

“Oh, yeah, that. Nah I ain’t seen one.”

Daring Do ground her teeth together. Another dead end.

~~~

Hey ponies, me again. Sir Squidfish, I mean. OK, I know I owe you guys an explanation/apology for some of the incorrect scientific fruitcake in this chapter; don’t worry, you’ll get it at the conclusion of chapter 4. Thanks for putting up with my schedule and everything else; you, Reader, rock.
--Squiddy out!

Chapter 4

The mare turned to walk away, biting her lip hard. Where else can I possibly- The barkeeper spoke up again, causing her to stop abruptly.
“ ‘Course, I wasn’t on duty that day. You’ll probably want to talk to Glassy. He’d be the one to notice something like that, AND he was working the bar yesterday. Heh heh, always does Fridays ya know, ever since the time he MMF!”
She shoved her hoof in his mouth, speaking quickly.
“I’m sure it’s a great story and I’d love to hear it.” The stallion brightened up, and seemed about to speak. “But right now I don’t have time.” Daring continued, and his ears drooped. “So can you just please tell me where he is so I can talk to him?” She finished, looking up at him and removing her hoof.
He nodded slowly. “In the back. I’ll get him. Wait here.” He ambled off, muttering something like “Rush, rush, why they always gotta be somewhere I’ll never know…”

Daring Do rapped on the counter. No harm in incurring a little extra luck, she reasoned, even though she was not superstitious as a rule. She looked down and smiled slightly as she realized she had subconsciously crossed her hooves.
The bartender was back in a few minutes, accompanied by an older gray stallion with a slight beard and quick brown eyes.
“Miss Do?”
“That’s me. I need to ask you a few questions about a Neighbian that I might be interested in locating.”
The stallion, Glassy, cocked an eyebrow.
“That how they teach you to do it at detective school? Look, I’ve seen the colt, or I guess I should say, ‘Yeah, maybe I know who you’re talking about, and maybe I don’t. So let us converse.’” He nodded to a table in the far corner. “Over there. I’ll see what I can do”

Once they reached the table and sat down, Daring immediately began pressing him for information.
“You saw him?”
Glassy nodded. “Yeah, yesterday. I noticed him in particular because he ordered a straw for his milk. Milk-- now that was odd in itself.”
The mare blinked, uncomprehending.
Glassy sighed. “Never mind. Suffice to say it stood out to me. It was unusual, especially around here. Oh, and he paid with this-- very unusual.” The stallion rummaged around in his apron pocket and came up with a small gold coin, dimly stamped in some strange language. “Real gold. And it’s solid.”
Daring whistled softly. Gold was hard to come by these days. Its value had shot through the roof and you didn’t just go around chucking it away like that. Although, if the mysterious stranger really was from a long way off, he might not be aware of the current value of gold around here…
“Can I see it?” she asked Glassy, holding out a hoof.
The bar pony cocked an eyebrow, but handed it over. “Any particular reason you needed to examine it, or you just enjoying the once-in-a-lifetime novelty of handling real gold?” he joshed her.

She ignored him, pulling a magnifying glass from somewhere behind her in order to study the markings on the coin more closely. This is not written in the Princesses’ Equestrian… In fact, the more she studied it, the more she realized that it was written in… Neighbian! This would seem to confirm the conclusion she had reached with the DNA samples in the lab last night. Which meant…
“Something finally adds up!” She shouted, startling Glassy. “Oh… sorry. Late night. Lots of frustrating ponies today. Just happy, I guess.”
“Glad to hear it. Thought maybe you’d ruptured something.”
“Although,” Daring continued more soberly, “This coin doesn’t really help me beyond supporting my theory that the stranger is a Neighbian. Actually, it’s a lot like one of those secret decoder rings I used to always send in my box tops for: Awesome-- but pretty much useless.”

Glassy smiled slightly, but his tone was dismal. “Guess that means you’re stuck again, doesn’t it? Ah well, these things happen…” His eyes twinkled, and Daring looked at him sharply.
“There’s something else, isn’t there? What else did you find? Tell me!”
The stallion folded his hooves on the table and leaned back. “I saw him out when he left. He… dropped something. Accidentally. I found it later, but I had no way of finding him.”
Daring wasn’t buying a word of Glassy’s story, but she grinned and motioned for him to continue.
“Aaaaaand… it happens to be a calendar.”
“A calendar?” The mare raised her eyebrows. “Like a wall almanac? Use Shindig’s Toothpaste and all that?”
Glassy shook his head impatiently. “A pocket calendar. An appointment book. And--” He held up a hoof, forestalling Daring’s outburst. He gave her the calendar. “It’s written in Equestrian.”
“In Equestrian? That doesn’t make sense… is there a name?”
Glassy shook his head again. “Sorry. Still, it’ll probably be of some use, I would imagine. And now-- I’ve been away from work long enough. Ponies are starting to wonder what I’m up to.” He stood up and shook the mare’s hoof. “Good luck and Good-Bye, Daring Do.” >Squiddy: May the odds be ever in your favor…<

***

On the walk home, Daring Do digested her latest piece of information. Firstly, she had confirmed that the stranger she was looking for was probably a Neighbian. Second, she had talked to a barkeeper about her personal problems.
Wait, that didn’t sound right.
OK: Second, she had gained information from a sensible pony who was likely future source material. There, much better. Lastly, and best of all, she had the Neighbian’s appointment book, and, while she hardly expected there to be a heading which simply read “Blow up Daring Do” with a map of where he was going from there, she certainly expected to find a clue as to his whereabouts. All in all, it had been a productive day, despite the morning which had almost caused her to completely abandon hope of ever solving the mystery at hoof. Never give up goes a long way in this line of work Daring reflected, pacing deliberately and feeling more of a spring in her step than she had in a while.

When she got home, she immediately pulled out the calendar and began hoofing through it, searching for anything that would give her a clue about… anything. She turned to the current week and scanned the entries for the next few days. Most of it she couldn’t make sense of, but then something caught her eye.
“Ah Hah! Monday, May 22: Meditation. There is a park in Indianapples which will be perfect for my reflections. A tree-- I must have a tree. The shade will be--” The writing stopped there. Odd. And creepy. She shrugged. Odd and creepy and not really important. Time enough to worry about details on Monday.
She headed over to the kitchen and began working on a sandwich.

Hey ponies, me again. OK, about the fruitcake in chapter three: Um, actually, I got nothing. Like, it’s freakin’ Equestria. ‘Nuff said.
Oh, wait, yeah, about the frog though. You Aussie types probably already know that Litoria Platycephela is just the scientific way of saying “Water-Holding Frog”. Obviously, Daring Do was able to survive by squeezing the frog gently and catching the water from it in her hat. Yes, it probably tasted like government-funded cafeteria asparagus. (I’m not fond of asparagus. Apologies to those who are.) There aren’t any Water-Holding Frogs in the middle of the ruddy Sahara (or wherever DD is.) I know. Shut up. Just trying to keep the heroine alive another chapter, so (--time for my favorite quote, like, ever, at least right now--) I don’t have to explain shanything.
Anyway, that’s pretty much it. I have no elucidation on the DNA thing. I’m still kinda confused about that.
So, yeah. That’s pretty much it.
Peace.

--Loligus Flammus Ex Mortis

Oatmeal-- I'm crazy!!!

Author’s note: I had a lot of trouble writing this chapter-- partly because I lost my story outline (I don’t think I’ll ever find it) and partly because of a whole lot of writer’s block. It seemed like every hundred words I wrote, I would get stuck. So I wrote a whole lot of oatmeal, trying to find my inspiration again. I couldn’t begin to put all of it here, so I’ll just give you some of the highlights:

1) The mare turned to walk away, biting her lip hard to prevent the stream of curses that threatened to pour from her tongue and engulf the entirety of Indianapples, neigh, of Equestria, in fire and darkness. She paused, searching. Why not? Her tongue grew to four times its normal length and her eyes turned red and slitted evilly. They wouldn’t help; they were worthless mortals. Time to make a sacrifice.
“O Tirek!” she roared, her jaws wrenched open to impossible lengths, “Accept this, my humble offering. May it be a sweet aroma in your tonsils, and may all know the might of your dark power!”
She pulled two objects, a staff and a knife, from her saddlebags, and leapt savagely at the terrified barkeeper. He had time for only one shrill, gurgling scream before she slashed his throat, kicking him to one side as she took some of his life blood with her hoof and smeared it under her eyes. Lifting the staff, she began to sway, chanting the Divine Words of a forgotten age. All about her, the buildings, the furniture, and yes, even the inhabitants began crumbling into dust as her voice rose in volume.
“Gnitir Wimak Ceheht Tahw!” She shrieked, her form now blazing in blue fire. A hurricane was forming around her, surrounding her, obliterating everything from her mind but chaos. A great darkness was forming around the mage as she screamed one last spell, its sound lost in the whistling storm.

A light, quickly stifled.

A red hoof carving strange and ancient patterns in the air.

A Darkness.

Daring Do woke up in a forest, trees, streams, and rocks as far as she could see in one direction and the ocean stretching away to her left, about one hundred yards away. She stood, perfectly balanced, both in body and in mind. She ascended into the utmost peak of the highest rock ledge and sat, poised and cross-legged on the pinnacle of the summit. She inhaled, and a blue mist sprang out of the rock and encircled her as she hummed long forgotten tunes.

She was at peace.

2) Once they reached the table and sat down, Daring immediately began grilling Glassy for information. Soon, he was screaming in tortuous agony as she extracted his eyebrows with a red hot curling iron.
“Tell me. TELL ME!”
The stallion broke down sobbing. “I can’t.”
“Why? Why can’t you tell me? Don’t you want to live?”
Glassy looked up, broken. “That jerk of a writer is stuck. He has no clue how he wants to write this scene and he’s sick and tired of writing right now. So I’m sorry, but I know nothing.”
Daring Do spoke softly, her eyes narrowed and her tone menacing. “Well I’m sorry too, because your ‘sorry’ just doesn’t cut it. I need info, and you don’t have it. So now you’re a liability, if you get my drift.
“What? Why?!”
The mare stood up and began pacing quickly. “I have no idea. So I think I will kill you now.”
She leapt at him with a squeegee.
The birds began to hum.

3)She ignored him, pulling a magnifying glass from somewhere behind her in order to study the markings on the coin more closely. Where did that even come from… did I create it? (insert Hoopy McGee spiel and tangent here…) RIP DANG IT RAINBOW DASH WHY YOU MANITOU NO INSPIRE ME!!!!!1!

4) When she got home, she immediately pulled out the calendar and began thumbing (“DANGIT! Ponies do not have thumbs.”) paging [“No.”] flipping [“Stereotyped… or maybe I’m just paranoid about writing generically… What do you think, Princess? Dang, the toy fell off the monitor again…”] hoofing… [“Fine. Let’s just go with ‘hoofing’. I don’t really care by now. It’s probably overdone but I’m tired and hungry and I want this chapter to end like right now. 100 more words? OK, 100 more words, then I’m DONE.”]

When she got home, she immediately pulled out the calendar and began hoofing through it.

[“What the heck did I just write? That sounds weird… or maybe it’s supposed to sound weird? Yeah, maybe people will just think I’m being snide and hip… Wutevs. I am now go to eat the foods.”]

5) …but then something caught her eye.
“Ah Hah! These animalzerallprediderz! Except for… Rats! I forgot what I was supposed to find… stupid writer.” Blah blah blah bappity bappity bappity ihatemylife iugfiaugfioasdugkasdgfuasdghiuhasdiugsdaiugiuasdiudsaiguasdiughiaudsgiuadiugadhsiuhakjshuehiuyyiubdsflsdaglf…

6) “IIIIIIIIIIIII’M STUUUUUUUUCKCKCKCKCKCK!!!”

7) A lone squid sat morosely at a dilapidated and archaic computer, more of a typewriter really, with a screen though, and a mouse. He typed meaningless jargon as his life disintegrated into a raging pool of oatmeal.
Why why why why why…
He was close. So, so close. He had only to find an ending now… This should have been easy. He wrote short. He had always liked short chapters… Maybe, he thought, I should have stuck to one-shots like before I became a pony nut. Or maybe this was actually easier? Maybe some ponies found it easy to just sit down and write. Maybe only squids got writer’s block. Or maybe I just got stuck like everyone else…? Or maybe I just suck.
I AM a squid… it’s kind of in my job description to suck.
Or maybe, maybe-- perhaps it wasn’t the oatmeal that counted so much as what came with it. Maybe it was what was on the inside that counted, after all.
The squid peered into the depths of his stomach with the aid of a scalpel. He strained his eyes to make out what lay beneath, what was at the very heart of his existence.
What he was.

And he saw a whole lot of ink and rubber.

He smiled as he truly grasped the meaning of his life, the universe, and everything. He blinked, then spoke into the oppressive atmosphere of the subterranean styg.
“I think I just wasted 251 words of my life.”

P.S. I just realized that I wrote almost as much of this as I did of the actual chapter. That’s probably just sad.

Chapter 5

It was later. Daring Do sat on a bench in the Indianapples Park and Recreation Center, intently studying a map of the area. For one of the first times in her life, she was glad she didn’t live in a bigger or more exciting town, because that would have meant multiple locations to scout out instead of the lone park the stranger could possibly have been referring to in his notes: the one she was in right now, the only real nature park in Indianapples. She frowned slightly. Of course, now that things were starting to be easy, it sure would have been nice for him to specify exactly which tree had struck his fancy. That way, she could have simply sat near the location and waited for him to show up, instead of spending hours on her current task: noting every possible spot in the park which met the correct specifications.

She sighed as she looked at her chart again. By eliminating every small tree, thick patch of trees, and noisy area, she had come up with a total of thirty-five possible positions for her noisome friend. Still too many. She pulled out the calendar once more and studied the last entry again.

A tree– I must have a tree. The shade will be–” Once again she grimaced as she puzzled over the abrupt cutoff.
Strange how the script just leaves off here… What was she missing?

She pulled out her glass once again and began examining the page, seeking perhaps some tiny print or faint lettering that would give her a clue what to do next. A shout from across the way startled her, and she looked over quickly.
It was only a few foals playing tag. Why was she startled by a few foals playing tag? She was not supposed to be this skittish. She was Daring Do, Explorer, Adventurer, etc., etc… Maybe this whole mystery was getting to her more than she thought.

She looked back to her work and gasped. The magnifying glass, left poised over the paper, had intensified the sun’s rays and begun burning it. She dropped the tool, barely stopping the calendar from catching fire. That was close.

She put the glass back in her bag and concentrated on the paper once again. Startled, she looked at it more closely. Underneath the entry which had faded off before, a few more words had appeared. shade will be most enjoyable, and there is a… She gave a soft cry. A hidden message, written in invisible ink! Trembling with excitement, she grabbed the glass again. Carefully, she magnified the light onto the seemingly empty space where the writing trailed off, cautiously heating it up without incinerating it.

Five minutes later, she had it– the complete entry. She read it aloud.

“Monday, May 22: Meditation. There is a park in Indianapples which will be perfect for my reflections. A tree– I must have a tree. The shade will be most enjoyable, and there is a yellow bench nearby where I can relax in peace and quiet while I wait for my contact to arrive. A yellow bench… these Equestrians are so strange. Ha!” she exclaimed triumphantly. “There’s only one yellow bench in this park– the one over on the east side. I should know, since my class painted it…” She remembered the incident well, especially as she had lobbied hard for green or brown or blue… any color but that sickly shade of mustard her students had insisted on painting the seat. She smiled at the intrinsic irony of the situation. The very color she had fought doggedly against was arguably the defining clue in the hardest mystery she had ever faced. Still, she thought stubbornly, bright red and orange stripes like I wanted would have looked so much cooler…

***

Four hours later, the Neighbian still hadn’t come. Daring Do knew he probably wouldn’t show up if anyone was around, so she had situated herself about 200 yards away, closely monitoring the bench and surrounding area with a pair of high-powered binoculars. Maybe that was why she never seemed to be able to save much money– she was always spending what were for her vast sums on equipment like this. For instance, four months ago, there was that arrowproof vest she had to have. And five months before that, the rope and grappling hook. How often had she used that so far? Let’s see, so far she counted a grand total of one time, and then it was only to climb a rather large pine tree to rescue Mrs. Flan’s tubby cat.

The old mare had asked for her help knowing that a pegasus was needed for this kind of problem. She hadn’t realized Daring’s wing was broken, and apologized for calling her out. But Daring Do was made of sterner stuff. Soon, she had Mrs. Flan’s cat safely back on the ground with minimal damage. Well, minimal damage to the cat, anyway… The brown pegasus still flinched when she remembered the numerous scratches she had received during the descent. Ah, well, the incident had made her a sort of celebrity with most of the old folks in town, and she had always had a soft spot for cats anyway. Maybe it was because they were a small, cute version of the leopards, cheetahs, panthers, and other various felines she had faced in the jungle while confronting Ahuizotl. House cats were mostly harmless– a state she needed to experience once in a while.

She snapped out of her reverie. She’d done it again– let her mind wander while she was supposed to be paying attention. This was one of the reasons why she’d had a hard time at school as a filly. Her imagination usually took her far away from the teacher, and consequently, the teacher usually took her to the principal. The kind of ADD she experienced in school had stayed with her into adulthood, and she sometimes had trouble focusing even while teaching her own class. She wasn’t meant to be a teacher– she knew it. She was meant to be out there searching for adventure, facing danger at every step, and ultimately conquering evil, saving the world from certain disaster, and returning home only until duty called again. She realized that that was why she had done all this. Why she’d spent hours poring over clues, talking to ponies, and trying to fit all the puzzle pieces together. She needed adventure. Monotony got to her more than she’d realized, and this was her attempt to bring some of the excitement she’s experienced during the Quest back.

She shook her head hard and stamped her hooves quietly to bring herself back to reality. And I’ll never figure out this mystery unless I concentrate on what’s important right now. She turned her attention back on the bench area, to find with a start that it was now occupied. A coal-black pony with an angular body and a somewhat diamond-shaped head was sitting underneath the tree, talking to himself. As she watched, he stood up, stretched, and walked over to the bench. He sat down and pulled out a small, thin book, much like the one he had left at Al’s. He set it down. Grasping a pencil firmly between his teeth, he began to write. He must be waiting for his friend now… should I go up to him now, or wait until he’s alone again? I don’t want to lose him if they go off together, and I’m not sure I’d want to confront both of them at once. Best to go now, before it was too late.

Keeping a moderate pace, she casually walked closer to the bench. As she drew nearer, she could hear what he was saying. Even better, she could understand it– he was speaking Equestrian! He seemed to be talking to himself as he wrote, as his voice came out strained from behind clenched teeth.

“6:29 PM. Finished with my daily meditations, now waiting for my contact to arrive. Strange I should be kept waiting so long, but perhaps it’s just cautiousness on her part.” Her part– he’s waiting for a mare, then.

The stranger continued as Daring crept closer. “Strange, I say, because from what I’ve heard, cautiousness is not one of her cardinal virtues. Still, I know she will not disappoint me. In fact, I believe I hear her now.” Daring Do froze, then spun around, looking for the pony to which the Neighbian referred. There was no one in sight. The black pony suddenly dropped the writing instrument and turned around to face her. He continued speaking as if he were still writing in his journal.

“Yes, as I said, she had not disappointed me. She has arrived.” He smiled. “Good evening, Daring Do.