The Changeling Princess and the Student of Love

by Pen Mightier

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Romance, Slice of Life
Length: 8664

Cadence has turned herself into a filly. With all the state events and her honeymoon coming up, this just won't do. She grudgingly agrees to a changeling double. In exchange she takes him on as her personal student of love. Yes, 'love'

Worrying about her appearance after being worn out by both her wedding and the crystal heart incident, Cadence attempts a simple changeling-based youth spell. She ends up with a little problem. She ends up little, as in a little filly. With the Crystal North's big Winter Wrap Up, the Equestrian Games and her own honeymoon coming up, this simply would not do. Fortunately Twilight has a solution. Unfortunately it involves getting the help of a particularly reluctant changeling in exchange for making him Cadence's personal student of Love.

Previous publication accidentally deleted on 15/8/14 while deleting a few old unpublished stories to clear space in my drop down bar. I somehow managed this at 1 AM at night despite all the preventive measures in place. Sincerest apologies, all.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-15 18:30:02 UTC

Changeling for the Better?

~Chapter 1~

Changeling for the Better? -

A Few Weeks Ago, Hearts and Hooves Day

Kitchen, The Royal Apartments, Crystal Palace, Crystal Empire

"The perfect stallion you and I must find~" A cheerful voice sang over the sound of the steaming pot and the merry crackling of the fire oven. Four hooves trotted on light, airy steps across the crystal linoleum floor as their owner bustled about the kitchen. Their owner's pink horn glowed with a soft, pink radiance that flooded almost every surface across the kitchen, filling it with industrious activity. Vegetables flew in a holding pattern around a busy chopping board, salads tossed themselves excitedly into the air, even the bread dough seemed to puff up with pride before her expert leadership. " One to really make her heart soar~" Princess Cadence stood for a moment amidst the organized chaos she was conducting flawlessly to sing into a soup ladle, swaying from side to side to the rhythm of her own love song.

"This one's not too young, not too old~ This one's loving, charming and bold~" A voice joined hers at the door. A maya-blue unicorn sporting a straight, silky two-toned blue mane trotted in to join the princess. The princess gave a little giggle as she gestured for the unicorn to share her laddle. "Ladies and gentlecolts, give it up for the talented Minuette!" The princess announced to their imaginary audience. The blue unicorn echoed her giggle before quickly joining in by her side.

"This one's not too silly, not too uptight." They joined their voices together, matching their rhythm without dropping a beat. They both noticed another unicorn mare standing in the adjoining dining room, carefully balancing a stack of plates and cutlery in her soft lilac magic. "Take it away, Twinkle Shine!" They called out to her.

"Uh, um...." The unicorn's marshmallow-white coat turned a shade of pink as she peered back at them bashfully from underneath her soft, puffy lilac mane. "I, uh..." She glanced down at her hooves, as if hoping she might find the lyrics tattooed there. "Ah..." She shifted uneasily, ears drooping as trepidation rose. She shot the two expectant mares in the kitchen a few fearful awkward glances, almost begging them to have mercy on her. Fortunately somepony else stepped in for her. Unfortunately she wasn't the most helpful of ponies.

"Give it up." A voice called out from living room. The young midnight-blue thestral mare lounging on the loveseat pointed an accusing hoof at the awkward unicorn. "We haven't heard a proper peep from her since the wedding. Why should she start now?"

"Tsk, Night Blossom, we've been over this." The maya-blue unicorn, Minuette, quickly spoke up before Cadence could. "You may be the next princess to Transylmania, but you're here as her highness' Lady in waiting. Everything you say and do reflects on princess Cadence and the mentoring she gives you." She said, sternly. "Now Twinkleshine and I may not be princesses but we're your fellow hoofmaidens, and we must treat each other with respect and kindness as her highness has so rigorously taught us."

"Yeah, yeah, mom." The thestral, Night Blossom, waved a hoof dismissively at her fellow hoofmaiden. "I'm just trying to be helpful here. You and her went through the whole bridesmaid changeling mind-control thing at the wedding. Can't you, y'know, talk it out of her?"

"Night Blossom!" Minuette snapped angrily, "This isn't the place or time to bring that up! Show some sense!"

"I'm afraid I must agree." Princess Cadence said, softly yet firmly. "There is such a thing as tact, and I'm afraid...." She looked around at the trembling Twinkle Shine. "Oh, Twinkle Shine, dear, it's alrig-..." Before she could stride over to comfort the quivering unicorn she had already bolted out of the room in a flood of tears. "Twinkle Shine!" Cadence called out, making to race after her. Except the saucepan chose to boil over and the kettle to whistle at that exact moment. "Oh, by the Crystal Heart..." She swore, turning her attention back to her cooking. "Minuette, please go after Twinkle Shine."

"Yes, ma'am." Minuette nodded, rushing out of the kitchen after her fellow hoofmaiden, pausing in the living room to shoot Night Blossom a dirty look before carrying on her way.

The thestral rolled her eyes as she rolled off the couch and onto the floor. "I was just trying to help, Princess." She quickly explained with a sigh as she shuffled over to the kitchen, fluffy bat ears bowed low. Her golden harlequin eyes seemed to be filled with genuine regret.

"I know, Night Blossom." Cadence sighed, efficiently taking the reigns of her kitchen once more. "You're just..."

"Yeah, I know. I know." Night Blossom said impatiently. "I look in the mirror too, you know. You don't have to spell it out."

"Twinkle Shine still feels guilty over what happened at the wedding. Well, she and Minuette both." Cadence said, patiently. "Minuette's just handling it better. But being brainwashed by changelings into turning on your loved ones is no small matter. I think both have shown great courage in even coming out of their rooms since."

"So she just needs to get over it, right?" Night Blossom concluded.

"Well, yes. But it's not as simple as..." Cadence began, as patiently as she could.

"Yes! I know exactly what she needs to get over it!" Night Blossom suddenly tapped a hoof triumphantly against the floor. "I have it, princess! A way to help her! I know somepony who knows somepony who can definitely get her over this."

"That's excellent, Night Blossom. But I think you should...." Cadence ventured.

"I'll get on it right away!" Night Blossom cantered off, half-propelled by her hooves, half-rushed by her wings.

"....tell me what you have planned first." Cadence sighed to herself, shaking her head. "Princess Celestia, you made it seem so easy." She sighed, recalling her own tenure as a hoofmaiden to Celestia. In Cadence's quiet zeal in coming into her own as a princess she had decided to take on hoofmaidens, to help educate ladies in waiting as is the royal Canterlot tradition. Her little ad for hoofmaidens had garnered more attention that she expected. So much so that she had had trouble turning down applicants, both hopefuls and hopeful parents. Minuette and Twinkle Shine were earnest fillies, both very promising. Both of them having been her juniors in school helped. Night Blossom....had her heart somewhere around the right place, Cadence was sure. The bright and quick-witted thestral was just rough around the edges and showed as much promise as she did attitude. She wouldn't have been her first choice but Luna had quietly intervened, urging her to take on the young thestral as she was likely the Principality of Transylmania's last hope for a sane government, difficult as it was to believe.

Her hoofmaidens had gotten along like a house on fire, literally. The cheerful if overbearing Minuette, the tactless Night Blossom and the quiet and withdrawn Twinkle Shine tended to rub each other in all the wrong ways. Sometimes she suspected she was all that kept everything together. She was more right than she knew.

Unfortunately, the whole wedding fiasco hadn't helped at all. She had hoped to try and bring the three closer together by making them her bridesmaids. That plan backfired almost immediately. Night Blossom had given up entirely on Twinkle Shine and Minuette and walked out, prompting her to get Lyra Heartstrings as a last minute replacement. And then there was the untold damage done when the changelings gatecrashed the wedding. Worst of all was their brainwashing poor Minuette, Twinkle Shine and Lyra into turning against their own princess. Minuette had been profusely apologetic for months. Twinkle Shine had been entirely inconsolable, withdrawing so far into herself that Cadence had had to struggle to even get her to come out of her room.

The oven timer's jovial ringing brought her attention back to her labours. Yes, for tonight at least she had more important matters to focus on, namely Hearts and Hooves day. With everything that's happened since the wedding and the crystal heart incident, with both having been occupied with getting the fledgling nation back on its hooves, they've had little to no time for each other. But tonight it'd be a night for just the two of them. It would be perfect! She had channelled Twilight Sparkle and her borderline obsession in planning the evening. She had everything planned and listed out to the last detail, everything from all of Shiny's favourite dishes to a cozy candlelit dinner by the fireplace to 4 hours of scheduled cuddling and snuggling as is Shiny's habit, and...

"Cadence, honey?" A voice called out from the living room.

Speak of the handsome demon!

"Yes, Shiny, dear?" Cadence trotted over to peer out of the doorway, putting on her brightest smile. Her smile quickly fell as she noticed how her handsome colt of a husband had his royal guard dress uniform on, a suitcase by his side. "Oh..." Her mouth became a touch dry. She quickly picked herself up, grimacing as best as she could. "Is everything alright, dear?" She asked, walking over to her husband, trying to sound as supportive as she could despite her rising dread.

"Yes, everything's alri-..." Shining Armour's brilliant blue eyes fell a little as he sighed. "No, it's not. I'm sorry, hon, they want me in Canterlot urgently. Again."

"That's alright, Shiny. You are needed by many after all." Cadence said, understandingly. 'Not just me.' Cadence reminded herself, bitterly.

"I wish." Shining Armour rolled his eyes. "I'll be honest, Cadence. I flipped the cart with our wedding, and then with the whole Sombra mess. And now there's me moving out here, away from Canterlot. I suspect the court wants to consider a replacement." He sighed in admission. "No surprises, really. At the rate I'm going Twilight would make a better guards captain than me."

"Oh, Shiny." Cadence pulled close to him. "Come on, hug." She said, sternly.

"Cadence, I..." Shining blinked.

"You need a hug. Hug now." Cadence said in a tone that could silence manticores and move obese nobles into running marathons. She raised her forehooves invitingly for him. Between that and her stern look there was no room for escape.

"Thank you, hon." Shining sighed, pulling her into a tight embrace, squeezing her mane against his broad chest. "I don't care either way. With you, I need nothing else, my love." He whispered into her soft, silky mane.

Cadence felt a light tug on her heart at his words. She knew he was lying. Being guards captain meant the world to him. But she still appreciated his words. She felt more than just a tug, her heart falling away through her stomach, as she was lifted up into Shining's strong hooves. She gave a soft little squeak, quickly curling her forehooves around his neck for support. But she knew deep down it was unnecessary. There was no place safer than Shining's forehooves.

"My Cadence, my love song~" Shining sang, softly, twirling around gently with her in his forehooves. "Love's in bloom wherever you go~ I know I can't win, without you by my side~"

Cadence sighed as she gazed back up at his soft sapphire blue eyes. "I've loved you since the day we met~ I need you here by my side~" She sang, caressing the soft fur of his cheeks with a forehoof. "Oh, Shining." She sighed. "You'll be fine, I'm sure. You went above and beyond what any other soldier, any other stallion, would have done for his country and his loved ones. Celestia would have nopony else for guards captain." She said, reassuringly. "I know I wouldn't."

"Thank you, hon." Shining nuzzled his wife on the nose playfully. "I love you, so so much."

"And I, you, my Shining Armour." Cadence gave him a light peck on his cheek before climbing out of his forehooves, though reluctantly. "Would you like dinner before you go out saving the world?" She quickly offered.

"My train leaves in 15 minutes." Shining said, shifting a little nervously. "They're already holding it for me."

"Then take a pegasus chariot." Cadence reasoned with a pout of protest.

"Haha, yes, arrive in Canterlot in style with a crystal pegasus chariot. That's exactly the message the court needs." Shining quickly shook himself, "Sorry, hon, what I meant was, 'that's kind, but no thanks'. The chariots are yours, for your use as princess. I need to be seen doing this by myself, even if it's something as trivial as taking the train." He reasoned, returning her peck on her lips. "Oh....you were cooking dinner, weren't you?" He eyed the kitchen, biting his lip with regret. Despite how busy she was with matters of state his kind, loving wife, all-powerful alicorn princess of an entire nation, always sparred time for the trivial things like making him his meals. "I'm so sorry, hon." The pain on his face was evident as he glanced between the kitchen and his wife. "Gah, why do I mess up everything I touch! I..."

"Ssshhh, it's alright, Shiny." Cadence pushed a forehoof up against his lips. "It's alright, it was just some soup and sandwiches." She said, lying perfectly. "Go on, don't miss your train. I'll be waiting right here for you." She said soothingly.

Shining gave her a grateful if watery smile. "Thank you, hon. You're the best love song ever." Shining gave her one last hug before hefting his suitcase in his magic. "See you in two weeks." He threw her a casual salute before trotting off.

"Two weeks..." Cadence's heart managed to fall even further. "Yes...see you." She allowed her brave facade to drop as the front door to their royal apartments closed behind him. It felt like the door just closed on her own numb heart.

She didn't get to wallow in whatever it was she was feeling for long before she was interrupted by a low murmur. "Whoah, smooth." The comment was punctuated by a loud smack. "Ouch!"

"Shut up, Night Blossom." Minuette's voice hissed. "Uh, busted." She squeaked as Cadence turned to face the three young mares huddled behind a corner of the living room. "Sorry, your highness, we were just worried." She said, apologetically.

"Um, yes, sorry." Twinkle Shine nodded, meekly.

"Jeez, how lame was that." Night Blossom muttered, earning herself another sharp nudge from Minuette. "Ouch! Hey!"

"Come and have some dinner before it gets cold, girls." Cadence sighed, gesturing at the dining room. "We might as well eat everything ourselves." She sighed, her appetite long since gone out the door with Shining.

"Thanks, but I'll pass. I've got a hot Hearts and Hooves date waiting for me- OW!" Night Blossom got another rap on her dawn-blue mane. "Minuette, what gives?!"

"Princess, I know just what you need." Minuette ignored her fellow hoofmaiden's protests as she trotted out to join her princess. "You need some quality me-time at the crystal spa tomorrow, have yourself an invigorating crystal mud bath, a rejuvenating massage, a revitalizing cream bath..." The maya-blue unicorn sighed wistfully. "Then you'll feel all youthful and beautiful again." Without any warning she struck the finishing blow.

Cadence seemed to freeze in her tracks, turning to stone faster than Discord receiving a mouthful of Harmony to the face.

"Princess?" Minuette leaned in in front of her princess' face, her face suddenly twinged with concern.

"Equestria to Princess Cadence." Night Blossom waved a hoof in front of Cadence's face. "Minuette! You broke the princess!" She said accusingly.

"What?" Minuette shot back. "All I said was....oh." She threw a hoof in her mouth. "Ooops." She mumbled around her hoof.

"I swear you only open your mouth to switch hooves." Night Blossom rolled her eyes. "Now, gimme a second while I unbuck your mess. Princess, you're an Alicorn Princess. You're by definition eternally..." Night Blossom was about to be the voice of reason when Cadence interrupted her.

"H-he's l-lost interest...already." Cadence wore a haunted look on her face, eyes wide with panic. "S-Shining's a-avoiding me." She gasped, clutching her face. "It's these wrinkles, it must be." She squeaked, stretching her face, feeling her deep imaginary wrinkles. "With everything that's happened I must've left myself go. Oh, Shiny, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" She cried.

"Princess, that's just silly!" Night Blossom snapped, "You're an alicorn princess! You're eternally young and beautiful! That colt's just blind and stupid if he....!" She received a kick in the shins from Minuette. "Ouch! Minuette!" She barked, "That's it! I've had it with you!" She dive-tackled Minuette, sending them both rolling away behind the nearest sofa.

"Argh! Bring it, bat!" Minuette shot back.

"Y-you two!" Twinkle Shine rushed forwards to push the two apart.

"I-I need to do s-something." Cadence's panic, meanwhile, went on unabated. "My emergency stores! That's it!" She gasped, grasping for her last pereceived shred of hope as she rushed off for her room, leaving her hoofmaidens to sort themselves out for once.

Ten minutes later found Cadence and Shining's room an upturned shipwreck with contents of drawers and cupboards upturned and emptied onto the floor. A veritable mountain of bottles and containers was slowly growing in one corner as Cadence tossed bottle after bottle of ointments, creams and cosmetics out of her latest rummage. "Here it is!" She declared triumphantly as she finally uncovered her sought-after treasure at the bottom of her vanity mirror's innermost drawer. "Flax and Wheat's Magical Honeysuckle Youth Extract." She read out the bottle's label. She had received it from her good friend Rarity after her brief stint making beauty products at Flax and Wheat's Wellness Centre. "Yes, if anything will help me, it's this!" She declared, excitedly unscrewing the bottle with a touch of her magic.

In her zeal she overdid her magic and upturned the bottle, upending its contents in the drawer. "O-oh no!" She cried, trying to salvage what few precious drops of the magical remedy she had left. "Oh, by Crystal Heart..." She swore, realizing there was a book at risk of getting damaged by the spill at the bottom of the drawer. She quickly fished it out before the honey extract could ruin it.

Then it struck her. 'What's a book doing in there?' She thought, frowning a little, her spilt honey extract forgotten for a moment. She eyed the book, turning it over and over. It was not of common pony-make, fashioned out of unrefined flattened bark rather than their usual parchment and more modern paper. The single green heart insignia on the cover quickly reminded her of what it was. She had found the mysterious tome in her room following the fiasco of a wedding. Thinking it must have belonged to that horrible changeling queen, she had almost thrown it out. Then she stayed her hoof, realizing that, as princess, it was her duty to investigate potential threats to her nation. But she had since hidden it away and forgotten about her little project.

Now it has resurfaced, at such a moment too. She bitterly cursed her fortune. Things had gone downhill since that ruined wedding. She flipped through the pages of the tome absentmindedly as she reflected on how Shining had slowly grown distant since, becoming busier and busier with his guard captain work. She knew he felt guilty for almost failing his nation and her, twice. That's just how he was. But what if there was more to it....

"I am a mess." Cadence sighed, placing a forehoof on her cheeks, feeling more imaginary wrinkles in her immaculate fur. "Why am I wasting my time on this, I need to..." She was about to toss the book aside to go back to salvaging her honey extract when she noticed something. There, on the page open before her, was a little note pinned in with a teal green mane pin. Unlike the rest of the book the note was written in Equish. "Youth Shapeshifting Spell." It read.

Cadence's eyes widened.

A manic, hopeful little smile played across her lips.

This was it.

This. Was. IT!

A Changeling of Pace

~Chapter 2~

A Changeling Of Pace -

Two weeks after Hearts and Hooves Day

The Hay Bale Cafe, Ponyville

It had been a perfect day so far. The sun was just setting. There were enough clouds to keep the deep red sky nice and picturesque. The last of winter's gentle breezes promised just a whiff of the oncoming spring. And here she was, enjoying it all under a parasol at Ponyville's most popular outdoor hangout, the Hay Bale Cafe, in the VIP back lot no less. The cafe had arguably been a little early with the parasols, but she enjoyed the touch of colour over their candlelit dinner of alfalfa soup and red rose salad, her favourites.

The perfect bit? No, it wasn't the weather, though it was quite nice. No, the perfection sat across from her, gazing kindly back at her with his bright green eyes, devoting all his attention to her, making her feel like the very centre of the universe. Dare she say, like a princess. Everything from his long, curly jet black mane, his sharp sculpted features to his gleaming charcoal gray fur was almost tailored to her dreams. On top of that the young unicorn stallion had made the day a fairytale come true for her. Sure, she had started out the morning not knowing what to expect, but now she knew it had been everything she had ever wanted.

He had suddenly called on her early in the morning at her inn, waiting for her with a beautiful breakfast for two laid out by the inn's fireplace. He had then taken her out for a slow walk around the surrounding countryside, stopping by the local apple farm to partake in cups of the world famous Apple Family cider, dispelling the rumour that they were impossible to get out of season. He then took her for lunch on a hot air balloon, somehow using his magic to shield them both from the last of the winter winds. Now after an afternoon listening to the Ponyville Philharmonic Orchestra, he was rounding off the day with a nice, long chat over dinner and the finest Berry Punch vintage wine (The Element of Harmony year, a good year).

Still, despite how perfect it had been, she couldn't help but fidget nervously. He seemed to notice this, obviously, as he gave her a look of gentle concern. "Are you alright, Twinkle Shine?" He asked, his tone gentle, caring, even genuine. "You seem to have been preoccupied with something all day long. Would you share with me what troubles you so?" He asked, placing a comforting forehoof on her own.

"Oh, um, it's...it's nothing." Twinkle Shine said, meekly, casting her sapphire blue eyes down to gaze at her empty salad bowl. She trembled a little, letting out a little puff of steam as she gave a little sigh, her cheeks blushing profusely.

"Twinkle Shine, everything about you matters to me." The gentlecolt said, getting up to unwrap the muffler around his neck to wrap it around the scarf Twinkle Shine already had on. "And I shall be frank with you, I am not only saying this because I've been paid to escort you today. I believe in being a good friend to my clients, like any other good business pony." He said, wrapping a forehoof around the scarf, drawing it close about her neck.

"Um, I know, Vex. You've been very kind, especially to somepony like me." Twinkle Shine slowly looked over her shoulder to give him a watery smile. "You see, it's about today, actually." She said, biting her lip. "You, um, you know how my friend, Night Blossom, arranged this for me?"

"Yes. If I may speak freely of her, I think you have a good friend in her, Twinkle Shine." The stallion chuckled goodnaturedly, returning to his seat. "I have never received such a demanding request. She was...quite detailed." He gave a wry smile as he seemed to recall his client and her request. She had been specific about everything, from Twinkle Shine's ideal stallion down to everything she'd want in a first date. To an extent it saved him a lot of trouble planning the whole affair.

"Oh, I'm sorry. She wasn't...too troubling, I hope?" Twinkle Shine said, worriedly.

"Oh, no. If anything, I took it as a challenge." The stallion smiled, "And as it turned out I enjoyed every moment of it. If that was trouble then you, Twinkle Shine, can trouble me any day." He gave her an honest smile.

"Did she, um, did she tell you why?" Twinkle Shine whispered, "As in, why she arranged this?"

The stallion's expression turned grave. He gave a little nod. "Yes, she did. So, tell me, Twinkle Shine, does it bother you? That I'm a changeling?" He asked, "Feel free to be frank with me, just as frank as I am with you."

"Um, no, I..." Twinkle Shine squeaked quietly, looking down at her lap.

"Please, Twinkle Shine." She felt a forehoof gently caress her own. "You can be honest with me." He said, reassuringly. "I don't mind if you say 'yes'. Just take the step with me."

"Uh." Twinkle Shine shifted nervously in her seat before finally blurting out, "Yes, I'm sorry, yes."

"Good." To her surprise the stallion gave her a comforting smile of approval. "Don't you feel better already?" He asked, knowingly.

"Um...yes." She said in surprise. "Yes, I do."

"Admitting the problem is the first step." He nodded at her. "And without sounding too patronizing, I think you've been very brave in seeing me today, knowing exactly what I am." The client, Night Blossom, had originally planned on not telling her what he was. He had disagreed quite vehemently, stressing that he would only take the job if she agreed to tell her. Thankfully she did, though not without asking for a hefty discount. Quite the haggler she was.

"I know that, Vex." She said, ears twitching sheepishly. "And I'm sorry I let it bother me. It's as bad as being bothered by any of the other tribes."

"No, your fear is warranted. My kind haven't given you the best of first impressions. But I can assure you that much like there are good and bad ponies, there are good and bad changelings." The stallion, Vex, said, graciously. "Now, I won't keep secrets from you. Night Blossom took the liberty of telling me what happened at the Royal wedding, and I think she was right in doing so." He said, giving her a serious look. "Being brain washed is a harrowing experience. There is nothing worse than losing control, becoming someone else's puppet."

Twinkle Shine only gave a silent nod in reply, the twin sapphire pools of her eyes watering up with her most repressed fears.

"And I can assure you now, everything you did was because of that evil influence upon your mind. As for now? You are entirely free of any and all changeling magic, I can assure you." Vex said, giving her a comforting pat on her forehoof.

"R-really?" Twinkle Shine suddenly gasped, looking up at the stallion with a desperate, almost hopeful look in her eyes. "Y-you mean, I'm not a threat to h-her majesty anymore?"

"Cross my heart, hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye." Vex said, crossing his forehoof across his chest before... "OUCH!" He squeaked, cradling his eye. "Bug darn it! OW!"

The creamy white unicorn before him broke into a fit of giggles, much to his chagrin. But he quietly celebrated every little bit of laughter he managed to eke out of her. For him it was teasing rare smiles from clients like Twinkle Shine that made his job worthwhile. "I'm glad you're enjoying this." He gave a dry chuckle.

"I-I'm sorry." She giggled, helplessly. "I-I'm just so happy, Vex. You told me the one thing I've so very much wanted to hear." She beamed brightly for the first time through tears of earnest happiness. "You s-seem to know exactly what I want to hear, Vex. How do you do it?"

"Personal experience." Vex said with a simple smile. "Because that was something I wish somepony could have told me." He sighed, before quickly shaking his head. "But trust me when I say, your mind and heart is yours and yours alone, Twinkle Shine. And anypony you ask will be able to tell you the same." He gave her a winning smile as he gave her forehoof a tight squeeze with his own. "So chin up, be happy, alright? A frown on a mare as beautiful as you is a crime unto nature."

"B-beautiful?" She squeaked, exploding into a furious blush. "No, of course not, I..." She shook her head in fierce denial. She felt a forehoof gently caress her cheek, stopping her head mid-shake.

"I don't blame you for thinking that. You are a hoofmaiden to an alicorn princess. It's only natural to compare yourself to her. But that's comparing apples to oranges. You, Twinkle Shine, are everything a pony could aspire to." Vex said. "And just to prove it..." He added, without missing a beat. "Those two stallions behind you have been eyeing you all evening." He whispered in a low voice, nodding at the two offending stallions in the normal seating area behind her.

Twinkle Shine couldn't help but look around at his prompting. She just about caught the two stallions in question looking away to study their meals with renewed interest.

"Want me to have a word with them?" Vex asked with a grin, "Though to be honest I can't blame them for being jealous."

"U-uh, n-no, please, don't." Twinkle Shine's creamy coat turned the shade of the sunset.

"Your beauty, Twinkle Shine, isn't just on the outside. You're a mare who thinks of others before yourself. You thought of those two jealous stallions before yourself. And you considered the safety of your princess above and beyond your own." Vex said, gently. "Few ponies can be so selfless. That puts you above the rest of the herd as far as I'm concerned."

"T-thank you, Vex. You seem to have a way with everything. You're...almost like a real friend." She gasped as she realized what she had just said. "Uh, I-I mean, sorry, I didn't mean it that way!"

"No, I understand." Vex gave her a reassuring grin. "It's my job after all. But even your grocer can be your best friend, cabbages and carrots aside, right? And that's what I like the most about my job. I get to make friends all day long. And the pay's a nice bonus." He gave her a wink.

"Ah, um, th-then..." She fidgeted again, "How much do I...?" She asked, reaching for her saddlebags in a hurry.

"Your friend paid me in full already." Vex said, giving her a dismissive wave. "Told you you've got a good friend." He reached into his own saddlebags with a burst of emerald-green magic from his horn. "This is my card. Anytime you want to talk, feel free to send me a letter." He said, offering her a smart little white business card.

Vex

Escort Stallion

Gentlecolt for Mares Escort Service

Ponyville, Equestria

Please direct all inquiries to the above address. Replies guaranteed in 24 hours, 7 days a week.

"Oh, th-thank you." Twinkle Shine said, accepting the card and pocketing it in her saddlebag carefully, almost reverentially.

"Thank your friend." Vex said with a gracious smile. "I can tell you still have questions." He said with a little chuckle, noticing her telltale fidgeting.

"Oh, um, if you don't mind me asking then." Twinkle Shine twiddled her forehooves a little, peering up at him uncertainly. "Do you....do you really feed on love? I'm just curious. N-not that I mind or anything." She blurted.

"That's usually the first question I get." Vex gave a little nod, "The answer is yes, I am a hunter of love. Love is to me what hay and apples are to you."

"So, um, have you, uh, have you been...?" Twinkle Shine shifted about uneasily once more. "Eating me?" She asked before she could stop herself, "Wait, that didn't come out right!" She gasped.

"That's quite alright." Vex said, "And yes, I have been 'eating you'. You have been most delicious. Far more appetizing than my usual fare, if you don't mind me saying, my lady." He gave her a wink.

"A-ah...oh. Um." The mare before him exploded into furious blush that managed to put even their red wine to shame. "T-this m-must b-be the wine." She chuckled nervously, fanning herself with a forehoof as she picked up and downed the nearest glass available with a burst of magic. She did an epic spittake. "T-that w-wasn't water, t-that was more wine!" She squeaked, managing to turn two shades redder somehow. "I-It's n-not like I love you o-or anything! Uh, I mean, I do like you, but, not so much love you!" She flailed her forehooves about wildly, as if waving them might disperse the crushing tension. "But I do! I mean, I don't! Don't misunderstand me, I...." She planted her face squarely into the table as if hoping her face might anchor her runaway mind. "Oh sour apples, what's wrong with meeeeeee!" She cried into the table.

Vex was a changeling before he was a gentlecolt. He couldn't help but chuckle at her expense as a little mischievous grin spread across his muzzle. "Twinkle Shine, you're adorably cute, you know that?" He decided to voice his thoughts.

A massive cloud of steam erupted from her frizzled lilac mane, forming a foggy little cloud that hung over the burning mare. What bit of her still seemed to be functioning let out a soft, cute little moan. "Uuuuuuu..."

"Twinkle Shine? Feeling ready to go back to your room?" Vex asked, cheerfully.

The creamy mare only gave a little hiccup in reply.

"I think that's a 'yes'." Vex nodded, raising a hoof for the waiter. "Bill, please. Oh, and a cup of water for the lady...possibly a cold towel too."

The early winter moon rose up above the wispy windswept clouds to find Vex making his way back to Twinkle Shine's inn, his wobbly client leaning against him for support. Her little hooves were practically tripping over themselves, causing her to stumble into him a few times. By that point Vex had thoroughly regretted putting the poor lightweight through the cider and wine. Twinkle Shine, as it turned out, made for a very clingy and needy drunk.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he finally found himself at the inn's front door. He opened it just enough to call out to the idling receptionist at the desk. "Ma'am, can you please help this young lady back to her room?" He said, waving two bits at the mare behind the counter.

"Certainly, sir." The mare was quick to leave her post.

"Huh, wha..." Twinkle Shine murmured blearily, her numbed mind seemingly slowly but surely registering Vex's words. "Wait, a-aren't you....uh...coming upstairs?" She managed to ask muzzily, peering up at him with quizzical, almost hopeful eyes.

"I think you'll be in capable hooves." Vex said, graciously, nodding at the receptionist with a smile. "This innkeeper will see you safely to your room, Twinkle Shine."

"B-but..." Twinkle Shine slowly but surely tightened the one forehoof she had curled around his neck for support. "Um, I-I'd like, uh, you to take me?" She suggested, showing just a hint of rebelliousness.

He returned her embrace, but kept his gaze steady, almost stern. "We wouldn't want even a single unsavoury thought to taint the honour of an immaculate maiden such as you, Twinkle Shine." He said, gently. "Now, go on."

Much to his secret amusement the young mare was surprisingly more wilful than he expected. "But...um...bed...you...me...uh." Twinkle Shine blinked, seemingly torn between confusion and sheer embarassment.

"Oh." Vex's expression softened as he gave the mare a gentle pat on the head. "Everything's special. But some should be truly special, between your beautiful self and your most special somepony." He said as gently as he could.

"I-if it costs extra I can...." Twinkle Shine was about to reach into her saddlebags with her magic when she noticed the gentle but stern expression on Vex's face. "I-I mean, no, I mean...." She blurted, raising a forehoof to plug up her errant mouth. "Uuuuu..." She gave a muffled groan into her hoof.

He sighed as he leaned in close to whisper gently in her ears. "You of all ponies, my dear, should never have to pay for that. You deserve true love and, dare I say, you've earned it."

"S-sorry, I d-didn't mean to insult you, I..." Twinkle Shine buried her face in her forehooves. "Uuuuuuu, what's wrong with me?!" She demanded of her forehooves.

"That was quite alright." Vex gave her yet another comforting pat on the head, ruffling her mane gently. "You meant well, I'm sure. Now, good night, Twinkle Shine. I look forwards to seeing you again, hopefully soon." He said, gently passing her over to the waiting receptionist, who was very carefully studying a rock on the ground with almost ferocious interest.

Twinkle Shine mumbled something indistinct into her forehooves before the receptionist very kindly shepherded her inside where she could finally hide her face in peace.

Vex looked around. The street around him had frozen. Many, many pairs of eyes were glued to him, all sharing a single look of utter disbelief. They quickly looked away from his accusing gaze, resuming their evening strolls.

"Real smooth, casanova." A voice said behind him. A dark figure peeled itself from the shadow under one of the inn's many balconies. "That cutie pie was practically throwing herself at you. What's the problem? Left your balls at home?" The chirpy voice chuckled as the figure stepped out into the silver moonlight, revealing a tall, black and white feathered eagle-type gryphon.

"We've been over this, Hale." Vex snapped at his gryphon co-worker, manager and only friend. "My kind doesn't understand 'love'. Not the same way you do. It wouldn't be fair on them."

"What's there to understand?" Hale demanded as she fell into stride beside him. "I like you, you like me, let's get it on."

"First, that was all sorts of wrong." Vex gave his friend a jab in the ribs, eliciting a chuckle from the gryphon. "Second, if your sandwich and your soup had a relationship going, could you ever claim to understand that?"

"Eh, I prefer a good Sunday roast myself." Hale shrugged. "The hot stuff they get up to in my mouth? Mmm Hmmm!"

"Fine, let me dumb it down for you, feather brain." Vex said, irritably, turning down the street to lead them back towards their office. "You gryphons are hunters, right? Well, imagine trying to have any feelings for your prey other than 'yummy'."

"Huh." Hale muttered, "You make a point. You're saying you changelings don't understand love at all?"

"Not the way the rest of the sane world sees it, no." Vex shrugged.

"But you're aware of this difference." Hale pointed out. "So you can bridge that gap if you want to, right? Be the first changeling to crack the mystery of Love. Whoah, instant cheesy novel blurb if I ever saw one!" She chuckled.

"Huh, yeah, like that'll ever happen." Vex sighed. "I mean, it's probably our kind's last and only hope, and we don't even know it. Makes the Elements of Harmony look all kinds of convenient. 'In case of impending doom, use these'."

"Well, that mare might be a start." Hale pointed a claw over her shoulder at the inn behind them. "She's all sorts of gaga over you."

"Jeez, Hale, leave the poor girl out of this, will ya?" Vex sighed, exasperated.

"Whoah, protective already. See?" Hale chuckled. "Should I be jealous, Vexie?" She asked, batting her eyes playfully. "Cause you know I'm always here to teach you eveeeerything about 'Love'." She whispered, leaning in to blow playfully in his ear.

"Shut the bug up already, Hale." Vex laughed, pushing his friend away. "Gotta say, your bugfoolery aside, you really delivered today. All the information you dug up on her was perfect." He said.

There was just a flicker of emotion on Hale's face at the not-so-subtle change of topic. "Heh, course it was. I'm not a member of the Gryphonian Guard covert ops division for nothing." She said, puffing out her feathery chest with pride.

"You mean 'ex'." Vex reminded her. "You're now manager of the biggest comfort stallion service in Ponyville."

"Pfft, the only one in Ponyville." She laughed, heartily as they turned into a small side street that housed their headquarters. "550 bits. Boy, we cleaned up good today. This Night Blossom must be royalty or something." She gave a loud throaty chuckle. "And that's after the stupid discount you gave her."

"I wanted the job." Vex shrugged. "But on my terms. Twinkle Shine deserved to know what she was getting herself into."

"What, you knew she was going to be a real hottie or something? I'm sure that wasn't in the information pack I gave you." Hale laughed, patting him on the back. "Jeez, you and your soft spot for the quiet cuties."

"She's got some bad history with my kind." Vex said, dismissively. "She needed this. I think she deserved it, even if it were for free."

Hale gave him a long, slow look, before sighing in exasperation. "Dude, you gotta let the past go. You can't keep going around cleaning up after her mess. You've got your own life to live." She said as they came up to their glorious little ramshackle shop front, only to find somepony had very artistically scrawled 'Bugs' over the sign, such that it now read 'Bugs for Mares'. A few more choice words had been scrawled all over the shop window and doors, words like 'Bug Bucker', 'Mare Eater'.

"Uh, yeah, cleaning, as I was saying." Hale muttered. "Hey, Vex, wanna go hit the Saddlebag for a night cap instead?" She quickly offered, kindly.

Vex didn't reply. He was too busy eyeing the words scrawled in big green lettering on his shop window - 'Bug Brand Brain Washing, 100 Bits'.

"No, you go on ahead." Vex finally muttered as he reached up to rub the at the paint. He rubbed, and rubbed, and rubbed as furiously as he could with his forehoof, gritting his teeth as he succeeded in only smearing it across his window. "Bug darn it! Bug DARN IT!" He growled as he rubbed harder and harder. The glass beneath cracked warningly under the strain.

"Whoah, Vex, dude. Chill." Hale reached out for her friend, flaring a wing out over the changeling. "Hey, calm down!" She barked, tugging at him. Bits of the glass seemed to shatter. The changeling went on rubbing, slowly smearing something dark red across the glass. "Oy, Vex!" Getting no response she finally smacked him across the face with a claw. "Vex! Snap out of it!" She barked, angrily.

Vex froze amidst his furious wiping, before finally letting his forehooves fall to his sides. The glass creaked as it was relieved of his pressure. He quivered under her wing. A few faint hiccups filled the night sky.

Hale remained quiet, holding him steady. Both knew there were no words to console the changeling.

At least not yet.

The Day After

The Hoofmaiden's Quarters, Royal Apartments, Crystal Palace, the Crystal Empire

"Urgh." Twinkle Shine collapsed onto her luggage just moments after stepping through the door into her home, the royal hoofmaidens' private quarters. The carpets were emerald green, just like his eyes. Ugh. The plush lounge sofas were black, just like his soft curly hair. Ugh. Even the crystal panelling that made up the walls were a soft dark gray, just like his fur. UUUGH! "Uuuuuuuuuu..." She gave another long, drawn out moan, rolling onto the floor in a futile attempt to cool her burning face.

"Oh, Twinkle Shine, you're back." A certain midnight blue thestral greeted from where she was hanging idly from a crystal chandelier. "So? So? How was it?" She asked, gleefully.

"Uuuuuuuuuu...." Twinkle Shine said in reply, steam curling up out of her ears as she struggled to melt her way into the floor.

"C'mon, gimme the juicy details!" Night Blossom pleaded. "It's been dead boring here for 2 whole weeks. The princess postponed all her duties indefinitely and locked herself away in her room on some urgent business she won't share. Minuette still hasn't figured out the flag pole she's got stuck up her plot. And I'm boooored!" She wailed, clutching her fluffy ears. "C'mon, throw a bat pony a mango here! Please!"

"Uuuu." Twinkle Shine moaned into the floor once more.

"Wait a sec, he didn't hurt you, did he?" Night Blossom's expression turned dark and dangerous as she swung down from the chandelier like a vengeful wraith. "Tell me, Twinkle Shine. Tell me he hurt you, and I'll fly over there right now and give him a new career as an eunuch." She growled, striding up to Twinkle Shine, rage towering.

"N-no! Uh, he was very kind to me!" Twinkle Shine quickly corrected her friend, suddenly fearing for the poor stallion's safety. "In fact, you were right. He helped me, uh, get over things." She added, in a more subdued whisper. "Thank you, Night Blossom." She pulled herself up to give the thestral a watery little smile. "Thank you so much."

"Hah. Good for you, Twinkie!" Night Blossom broke into a big smile as she pulled Twinkle Shine onto her hooves, quickly curling a wing around her. "Well, you can thank me by sharing a little with your ol' buddy, Night Blossom." She whispered, "How was he?" She asked with a wide, almost hungry grin.

"Uh, he was nice." Twinkle Shine twidled her forehooves a little, blushing profusely. "Very gentle with me, very thoughtful."

"In bed." Night Blossom added impatiently.

"Oh, uh, ah..." Twinkle Shine burned an entire new shade of crimson as she remembered her embarassing faux pas. "Uh, there was no bed." She whispered in a single breath.

"No bed?" Night Blossom blinked. "Whoah, kinky." She broke into an even bigger grin. "Was it on the floor? A table? Or, ah, in the snow?" She pulled the blushing hoofmaiden even closer. "C'mon, at least tell me about the foreplay!"

"Uh, there was no foreplay." Twinkle Shine squeaked.

"Oh. Oh my." The thestral was practically shaking now. She licked her lips as she went on, "You just went straight for it? Rough au naturel? Oh my." She threw a hoof up to her mouth to stop herself from giggling furiously. "Did you get any sleep at all?"

"No. I couldn't, I..." Twinkle Shine whispered.

"Ooooooooooh." Night Blossom had to stomp her hoof a few times to steady herself. "Yeaaaah, filly! Looks like I got my bits worth!" She squeed excitedly, pulling her friend into a tight embrace before twirling her around. "Come on, come with me! You simply must give me a blow-by-blow breakdown! Every last detail!" She squeaked, pulling the poor mare after her.

"But, I, uh..." Twinkle Shine cried as she was helplessly fillynapped by the strong thestral. Thankfully for her somepony else came to her rescue.

"Oh, Twinkle Shine, welcome back!" Minuette greeted cheerfully as she trotted in. "Glad to see you back. You had a good holiday?"

"Oh, uh..." Twinkle Shine whispered.

"Hah! She only had the best holiday EVER thanks to yours truly." Night Blossom puffed out her chest proudly. "Night Blossom, making your night, every night."

"Oh. What a surprise." Minuette rolled her eyes at the thestral. "If you're so good then you can come help me make my night. His highness the prince is coming back tonight. I need to go fetch the princess and tell her we've prepared a dinner for two for her." The maya-blue unicorn threw a pair of pink oven mittens at the thestral's chest. "Make yourself useful and watch the apple pie. Take it out at the ding of the timer, not a moment before." She ordered, before turning on her heels and trotting off.

"Ugh, way to rain on my awesome-parade." Night Blossom muttered, picking up the mittens in her mouth. She urged Twinkle Shine towards her luggage, gesturing for her to go attend to herself first. She then trudged off, mumbling something indistinct into her mittens.

Twinkle Shine had about three minutes altogether to herself to move her luggage back to her room before a loud shriek shook the entire royal apartments. The creamy mare gasped, ears perking up in alarm. "The princess! The others!" She whispered urgently to herself, launching herself out of the door without sparing a moment of thought to the possibility of danger.

She galloped across the apartments at record speed, bounding over furniture and screeching around corners. She allowed her hooves to guide her straight to the princess' room. Whatever it was, even if it wasn't here, she'd be here by the princess' side to keep her safe.

She pushed through the stout crystal door, horn sparking to life, ready to face whatever dangers lurked within.

She was greeted by Minuette dancing on her tippy-hooves, eyes wide, looking the very picture of barely-repressed panic. Minuette spared her a glance, before glancing back at the princess' desk, before glancing back at her, almost pleadingly.

Taking Minuette's silent but frantic cue, Twinkle Shine ventured an apprehensive glance of her own at the desk. There, amidst a pile of golden princess horseshoes, sitting in the middle of Cadence's crystal empire breast plate, was a little pink ball of fluff. A very filly ball of fluff.

The little pink alicorn filly was eyeing her own forehooves with shaky wide-eyed disbelief bordering on outright fear. She aimed her big, bright magenta eyes at Twinkle Shine, mouth gaping wide open, seemingly struggling to articulate her confusion.

Twinkle Shine herself was frantically grasping at straws for words to voice the chaos that was her mind. She looked up at Minuette, raising a trembling hoof to point at the little filly.

Minuette only shook her head slowly, unable to grace this bedlam with words.

"Hey, no need to be screaming. Look, I got the pie out safely." Night Blossom muttered as she stepped in after Twinkle Shine, bearing a steaming apple pie on her back, her pink oven mittens stylishly covering her fluffy ears. "So little faith in...oh." She followed everypony's gaze towards the little filly on the table. "Daaaamn, that Shining Armour's smoother than I give him credit for. When did he knock up the princess and popped out a mini-Cadence?"  She chuckled nervously.

"PINK!" The filly squealed, suddenly bounding off the table and leaping for the pink mittens, little pink wings fluttering wildly. She disappeared with a soft 'whoosh' into Night Blossom's soft, thick mane. She popped back out from the depths of her mane, took a deep breath of air, before pulling the mittens and Night Blossom's fluffy ears into a tight snuggle. "Piiiiiink~!" She squeaked triumphantly. "Mine!"

There was a pregnant silence. It gave birth to many more awkward little silences. It was finally punctuated by the apple pie falling off the thestral's back and smushing on the floor. Its passing was not missed.

"Okay, she's Cadence." Night Blossom finally muttered, flatly. "And before you ask, it wasn't me."

"Cadence, dear! I'm home!" A very familiar voice came from outside. It was the voice of the ponypocalypse on four legs.

The three mares shared wide-eyed stares. "Buck me." Night Blossom mouthed silently, giving voice to their silence. For once Minuette did not disagree.