Tonari no Pinkie-kun! Another Master of Killing Time

by Takarashi282

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 4869

Pinkie has a way of going about class. It is very distracting. (Based on Tonari no Seki-kun: The Master of Killing Time)

Pinkie Pie is a goofball. Everypony knows that. But when she starts confusing them with her confusing antics, they either grow to love or hate her.

Rated Everyone (10+ recommended):
Comic Mischief
Mild Language

(Based on Tonari no Seki-kun: The Master of Killing Time)

Written for One-Shotober 2014!

Published 2014-10-02 04:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-02 04:40:05 UTC

First Period - Hoof Drumming

The start of a new school year... the one everypony dreaded. You see 'em all, head down like a guilty turkey.

But not me! I am personally excited for this coming school year. Heck, I did so well last year that I didn't find any reason to be down! I have all my classes with good teachers... how the hay am I supposed to be down?

... Then she ended up in my classes. Don' get me wrong, I absolutely love nutballs like her. But I've got a feelin' that she's a couple apples shy from an apple tree. You see her, hopping around in the halls, all hyperactive and stuff, which is perfectly fine in that setting. However, that much energy plus a classroom seemed to be a bad omen.

I am not looking forward to this class.

First Period
Hoof Drummin'?

Teach's chalk squeaks so loud on the chalk board I can't even focus. In fact, this might be the lowest tech classroom I've ever seen. All the other classrooms have switched to whiteboards, projectors and all that jazz. Even the desks in the other classrooms had more spitshine than these ones here.

But, regardless, I listen to teach and his fancy way of talkin'. His voice was smooth and really expressive. It was more of a performance with good teachin'. There he was, explainin' tan to us like we didn' know it already! And I think I'll remember this this time forward!

But then there is a clankety, clank, clank!

I turn my head to see that silly Pinkie Pie, ever so lightly tapping her tin pencil holder. I smile. Well, I'll be! She's a percussionist. In fact, she might be the best percussionist I've ever heard in this school, gettin' softer and louder both gradually and quick and brief. She pulls many different beats that fit together so nicely! I find myself bobbin' my head to the beat when I'm interrupted.

"Ms. Applejack?"

My heart jumps faster than a jackrabbit's. "Uh, yes, sir?"

"Echo back to me the necessity of tangents in life, in business, et cetra?"

My jaw just drops. I officially screwed up! I grind my teeth like a Zebra grinds corn. "I can't," I admit, growlin' a little. "I was distracted. I'm awfully sorry."

Teach raises his eyebrows. "Just don't get distracted again, m'kay?"

I nod. "Yessir." I sit back down in my desk, the frame cryin' from my weight. I really want to get the message across to Pinkie Pie, but that would be distracting myself again! I don't want that! I'm an A student! I can't afford to do that again.

Teach goes on, yammerin' about new concepts in math, especially in graphin'. I'm actually surprised: Pinkie hasn't made a single sound! She must actually be payin' attention this time! I snicker in victory.

Then came the assignment. It was thirty minutes to the bell, now, and we were expected to apply everythin' we learned in twenty problems. I crack my neck. Easy-peasy! I will have this done so fast that Pinkie Pie won't have time to bli—

Tap, tap, tippity, tap, tap!

My jaw drops again. Pinkie Pie was drummin'... again? No... but with more tin pencil holders this time! My eyes widen. Not only is she drummin', but she's drummin' in different pitches! There are five—no, six—no, eight. Eight pencil holders, making a mighty beautiful noise that sounded like mini chimes. The beat is so calm and soothing this time, I feel my eyes get heavy—

No, no, Applejack! Keep your eyes open! Do the assignment, like you're supposed to. Forget the... *yawn*... forget... theeerzzzz... zzzzz...

Ring!!!!

I wake up with a start. Everypony's gettin' their stuff and scootin' out of the classroom! "Oh, no!" I quickly gather my stuff and run into the halls.

I grind my teeth again. "Hehe... confound you. Confound you, you master of killing time."

Second Period - Rubik's Cube

Yesssssss! Gym! My all-time favorite class! The only one that's about as awesome as me.

No, scratch that. This class doesn't even come close.

I ready my running shoes, strap on my shinguards, go outside and warm up. We're playing hoofball today! Beside cross country flying, this has to be my favorite sport. I have many fond memories of playing; memories of winning, memories of extreme knockouts, and... memories of being disqualified. I don't normally think of those.

But, as I am warming up, I see another familiar face among the crowd. Pink coat, hot pink mane that looked just as delectable as cotton candy, and light blue eyes. Pinkie Pie? I think. Yeah, Pinkie Pie! The one who pulled the bucketload of pranks on everypony last year. To be honest, I admire her. Someone who knew pranks on my level. We totally need to become friends!

What's that in her hooves, though? It's colorful, it was a cube. A Rubik's Cube? Man, those are hard! And Pinkie Pie's accepting that challenge? Good luck to he—

All of the sudden, I'm on the ground. My rear legs... darn! They hurt! I look behind me, and another pegasus gets up.

Spitfire? I think. Wait... rear legs. Her position. Don't tell me... I blush and cover my groin. Spitfire turns and gives me such a weird look that I would laugh if I hadn't been so embarrassed.

"Rainbow Dash," she said, with a sort of harsh tone. "Don't try to do that again, without my permission."

My face wants to melt from the heat. "N-no! That's not what I was..."

Too late. She's already heading toward the hoofball field.

"... intending." I mumble. That's totally the most uncool thing I've ever done... now everypony will think I have a crush on her!

"Students!" yells the coach, a ball sitting between his foreleg and barrel, "Gather in the hoofball field! We're gonna have one hell of a game today."

Second Period
Rubik's Cube

Second Quarter. The score's 5-6. I have the ball, and I am going in for the tie.

And what the hay is Pinkie Pie doing?

She's up on her rear legs, keeping up with me quite effectively. She dodges all who try to block her, gracefully even. She shoots a couple looks at me, and I can swear she's using bedroom eyes on me every time she does. Or... is that just me? I look away, blushing again, and I realize that there are three ponies, two girls, one boy, swooping in for the kill. I kick the ball between them as hard as I can. The ball passes through with a near miss, and I work my way around them.

And then Pinkie Pie swoops in, Rubik's Cube in hooves, and takes the opening in the opposing team's defense. She kicks the ball with a resounding pomf! and the ball soars straight through the defenses and catches in the goal net.

I give out a cry for joy. That. Was. Amazing! Even with a Rubik's Cube, she still manages to take a goal. I try to trot over to her to give her a hoofbump, but she's covered in our team, throwing the cube in the air every time she gives a hoofbump.

I manage a smile. Yep, I think, I want her as my friend.

Next play, I am taken out of the game. What. I scowl furiously at Spitfire, who is flicking her mane beeeaaauuu—awesomely! Yeah, that was the word... er... where am I at now.... Oh yeah! I'm angry at Spitfire! Grr!

"We need to let the others play as well, Dash," Spitfire says, shining her hoof. "We don't have all period." And just like that, she walks away.

I snort. "We don't have all period," I mimic, with my awesome voice impression skills. As the ponies in front of me meander to their positions, I rest on the bleachers, ramming my elbow into the metal, despite having that bone broken multiple times. I look to my right, where most of the ponies have cleared out, and I see Pinkie Pie sitting, fumbling with her Rubik's Cube, tongue out, a singular eyebrow raised.

I gulp. Normally, I don't feel this attracted to my own sex. Even Spitfire is just a small gnaw on the back of my mind. But Pinkie! What is so attractive about her? Besides her surprising athletic ability, her slight nerdiness, and upbeat attitude and oh my gosh she needs to marry me!

I take a deep breath. Don't get too excited, Dash, I think. She probably isn't interested in mares. But the way she looked at me on the soccer field... was that only my imagination? I blink. Ah, whatever. At the very least, I need to get to know her.

As the other infidel ponies scramble on the soccer field, I scoot to the end of the bleachers inconspicuously. However, it seems like it is all for naught because Pinkie turns to look at me. "Hiya!" she greets, her voice high and soooooooooo cute! "What brings you here?" In her hooves, she still turns the Rubik's Cube. My jaw drops. How can she do that?

"Oh, heehee!" She raises the puzzle to eye-level, still twisting and turning its multi-colored faces. "I've been practicing a lot. Here, watch this!" She reverses her progress, twisting front to back, side to side. It is all like a blur of motion; either I am not paying much attention, or she's going extremely fast. She stops abruptly and raises the cube again, revolving it in her hooves, showing all checkered sides. "Tada!"

I let my jaw hang for a moment longer. I'd figured every time I see this display, I'd just shrug it off and call it plain nerdiness, even though I own the nerdiest collection of books ever in my library. (Curse you, Twilight, you're ruining my reputation!) But this... this is amazing. I try to echo my thoughts, but all that come out are crackles.

She giggles, somepony yelling in the background as she did. "Your face!" she manages, chuckles turning into machine gun bursts of laughter. She snorts, trying to look back at me, but falls back down laughing, snorts becoming more distinct and cuter! "Staahhp!" she screams. "Staaaahhhp!"

I snap my jaw into place, feeling somewhat insulted but overwhelmingly accomplished. "You're amazing!" Somepony shouts in the background again, followed by groans of defeat.

"I'm amazing?" Pinkie Pie wipes her eyes from tears, sitting up. "You should've seen yourself out there, kicking balls at... well, kicking balls. You scored most of the points today... uh..."

I smile. "Rainbow Dash."

"Yeah! Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Dash, Rainbow..." She repeats my name over and over and over again, mildly annoying, though sorta cute. "Cool!" She adverts her gaze in front of her. "Oh, and speaking of which, it looks like the game is over! I'm heading back inside. See you later, Rainbow Dash!" She bounces gaily away, beaming.

I put a hoof over my restless heart, smiling down at the earth. Marry, me, master of killing time! I think.

Author's Note

... But little did she know, that the whole time somepony was yelling at her, Rainbow Dash was being impatiently called to the field, the game lost 6-10.

Third Period - The Volcano

I, Twilight Sparkle, am praised to be one of the most attentive students in the class. With eight and more student of the month awards, and a gold and silver medals in the talent show, I can see why.

And holy crud, that pink mare's backpack is big!

Behind one of the tallest stallions I've ever seen (he honestly could be a horse with how big he is), the pink mare sets down her saddlebags next to her, one side moderately filled with books and pencils and pens, the other chock-full with Celestia-knows-what. On her saddlebags, I recognize the symbol, and her cutie mark. I've seen it multiple times on billboards, with announcements like homecoming parties, birthday parties for the principal and staff... wow. Come to mention it, all the announcements were about parties.

I smile. This couldn't be anypony else but that Pinkie Pie everypony is talking about. And not necessarily bad word, either. She was praised just as well as I from teachers. Though it does seem that our teacher started sweating when she called out her name. I don't know, but she pulls out her binder and books from the smaller saddlebag, humming a tune I'm not familiar with. Something in D major... starting on F sharp... that's all I really know, from what Octavia and studies have shown me.

I turn to look at the blackboard as my name is called, one of the very last ones in this class period. I raise my hoof high into the air and call out, "Here!" I set my hoof down on the desk, its definitely-not-oak wood top covered in my organized stations. Pencils and pens in the top left, books in the bottom right (because of the new Daring Do), and erasers and whiteout in the top left.

And. One. Of. The. Pencils. Is. Out. Of. Line.

I adjust my focus to that pencil, making sure to have it exactly 2.564 centimeters away from the others. That's when something catches my attention. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a huge reddish brown bulge come into existence on her desk. I mistakenly take a glance at her desk, and that's when I saw a whole shelf of dirt, vinegar and baking soda, and water.

My jaw drops. She was able to smuggle all that... inside? I think, feeling my wings start to prop up. Taking a deep breath, I try to focus up front, but it felt like I was trying to tear apart elastic. Her hooves are moving fast, faster than my eyes can follow. She sprays water on the red clay, builds a mound and starts again.

"Ms. Sparkle."

I jump two hundred feet from my seat. The teacher had already written down logarithms, how to figure them out, etc. I snap my jaw back up, resting my wings. "Yes, ma'am?"

"In a logarithm of 'a' to twenty five, which is equal to 2, what does 'a' equal?" She cocks an eyebrow.

I sigh for relief. Easy. "'A' equals five, ma'am."

She raises her other eyebrow. "Typical for Twilight Sparkle. But the working grade isn't the only one. Pay attention from now on, all right?"

A drop of sweat traces down my brow. "Yes, ma'am."

She nods, and turns back to the board. "Right then... now..."

I sigh for relief again, jotting down notes just out of pure habit, my script a little jagged than usual. Don't worry Twilight, I tell myself, nothing that will hurt you in the long run... just calm down... don't even think about Pinkie. I do well for about half an hour, ignoring the movement in my peripheral vision. Whatever she does, I will not give in. I won't get distracted agai—

Fizzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

I whip my head to the left, wondering what the heck that noise was. There, a model volcano stands, red and tipped with something that looked vaguely like powdered sugar. Coming from the brim, foam had leaked out, quickly falling down the sides. I smile meanly. Ha, I think, there's no way that she'll get away with... er... That's when I notice a wall forming tracing the shape of the foot. My face goes slack. No.

"Ms. Twilight Sparkle!"

I swear under my breath. "Yes, ma'am."

"Forget about starting at honors citizenship. Satisfactory is what you get."

I sigh, my shoulders slumping. "Yes, ma'am..."

"Stop that crap from now on, okay?"

I nod, and swear under my breath again, putting my head in my hooves. I really screwed up this time around. My eyebrows meet each other. I will get you back, you master of killing time...

"Twilight Sparkle!"

Fourth Period - Checkers

Oh, joy! The school day is nearly over, and I can see the outside beckoning me back to my lovely house to finish that confounded project I've been working on all summer... Ah yes, for I am Rarity! The best dress maker in Equestria!

And what is Pinkie Pie doing?

It is art class, and I don't see her doing any art whatsoever. This is a total shock to me... well, not really. I've known her ever since primary school. We both managed to keep in the same classes there, and I would see her every day whether I liked it or not. And, most of the time, I did, to be quite honest.

But, not to be rude or anything, but she must be going into a phase, or she's just off the pill. She fiddles with her hooves, a gesture I know to be the latter. But the next thing I see her doing makes me think she's going through a phase. She removes a transparent glass plane and sets in on the table, having laser-engraved squares, checkered across its surface. I tilt my head ever so slightly to the side. Pinkie has never been into checkers, at least, from what I've seen. This confuses me so, and I must ask what's gotten her into such a thing...

But not right now. The bell rings out, its high-pitched dings piercing my eardrums. I rub my temples. That is simply uncouth! I think, trying to rub away a headache. Though it seems every time I use it in any case, Twilight would respond quite cockily, "That word you just said. I don't think it means what you think it means." I blow at my mane. Of course I know what it means! Why would I be using it if I didn't?

In any case, since it took quite a while for the teacher to arrive, I study with grace at what Pinkie Pie is doing. She lays out sixteen checkers on either side of the board, the plastic not going very well with the dark color of the glass. She sets them up precisely on the grid, sticking her tongue out during the process. She straightens up moments later, but still studies the board.

I can't imagine why. She is the only player, of course. Should I join her? I think, studying the board as well. I can't say that I've played this game recently, but recently enough that I at least still remember the rules. I narrow my eyes. Still though. Do I really want to embarrass myself at an impending defeat? I think about it for a moment, tilting my head back and forth, mouthing the possibilities.

Fine, I think, finally. I will join her... and the game has already begun? The checkers were set up already, of course, but they've been moved and stacked, like what you'd expect from stacking a king or a queen. On one side of the board, unstacked checkers surrounded two stacked ones, to my side, one stacked three high, the other side, two. The checkers were mixed in color; even the royalty was quite colorful itself.

This is not how the game is played... I figure out. What is she doing? It looks like the checkers are in a defensive formation... or they could be citizens? Is that what they are, Pinkie?

That's when I notice her expression. She smiles evilly, looking down at the checkers, specifically the unstacked ones. With the tip of her hoof, she moves the red-colored checkers into the semi-circle, getting closer to the multi-colored royalty.

I cock and eyebrow. Okay... the reds are moving into the civilization. Maybe they're a higher class or caste? I stroke my chin. It does appear so. Suddenly, it clicks. She's making a story from the checkers! She has to be. I turn in my seat, facing her as she did her works.

Her evil smile broadening, she slides the red checkers closer and closer to the royalty. The caste must be getting intense, I analyze, eyebrows elegantly raised. That must be horrible! But then, she does something that makes my jaw drop. She flings one of the red checkers at the three-stacked checkers, blowing them across the board. Before I have time to process what happened, another flies out and hits the queen.

I let my jaw hang, a behavior that I would normally think would be uncouth. She just... killed off the royalty? No... those reds... they are the ones to blame! All of a sudden, I feel anger toward these obviously inanimate objects that, frankly, have no feelings whatsoever. I wish them to be dealt with. I give a quick, crawling smile. They must be exterminated as soon as possible, no questions asked!

The scene changes as Pinkie Pie switches the board around, knocking all the white checkers off the board, save it two. She stacks them near the center of the board, the evil, red checkers forming a circle (or rather, an octagon) around her. I knit my eyebrows. The white queen is being outnumbered! It's only a matter of time... before the inevitable happens. No... I won't let that happen... Go, white queen! I almost yell. Give them a nice taste of female power! I pump my hooves to cheer her on.

As if my cheers actually mean something, the queen goes completely badflank. She knocks all of the red peasants off the board with a wide, swooping attack, clacking onto the desk below. There she stands, the queen, alone and proud. I feel a sudden burst of adrenaline as I nearly jump out of my seat. She was able to do it! She will be able to restore the kingdom, just you wait and see, reds!

But then something changes. My eyes widen as a tower of quadruple-stacked checkers enters in. The light glares in an evil glow off the plastic, and I swear I can hear maniacal laughter. I narrow the space between my eyebrows. No... I think. The red one isn't a king... but... an emperor? A menacing opera plays in the background as the emperor swoops in for the kill. But, fortunately, the queen dodges out of the way just before a fatal blow disables her. She slides backward, and swooshes across the board, drawing a half-circle around the emperor.

I jump up. Yes! I chant in my head. She's going in for the back-attack! She can do it! I know she can! The queen rushes in, going faster than light when she collides with the emperor, then hesitates. The emperor turns a full circle. My heart sinks to the bottom of my stomach. It... the back attack failed? I scowl, glaring at Pinkie Pie. That is not fair! Uncouth! I will not have it!

Pinkie Pie turns her head, and her eyes widen. A drop of sweat trickles from her brow as she leans back in her seat, away from me. I snort. Yes... fear me. It's time for the god to fear the pony!

With a sigh, Pinkie Pie looks back down at the checker board, and carelessly flicks the white queen toward the emperor, both of them sliced to pieces. My head spins. What have I done? I ask myself, putting my hoof to the crown of my head. I've killed the queen... I shake my head. No... she killed the evil Emperor... she will be remembered throughout the kingdom for centuries to come. I drag my hoof down to just above my eye. Salutations, my queen.

Author's Note

Little did she know, she missed the instructions for the introductory assignment, effectively getting an 'F' immediately in art class.

"Curse you, master of killing time," she whines, taking another spoonful of chocolate ice cream.

Assembly - Action Figures

Oh, gosh... I never really figured that I would be in such an area... with so... many... ponies... eep! I dislike this company. I don't want to, I don't want to, Idon'twanttoIdon'twanttoIdon'twanttoIdon'twantto... Oh, no, is this what a panic attack feels like? Oh my gosh, I'm having a panic attack. In public. In front of everypony. I can't. Nope. Never.

T-the gym is relatively big, enough to fit all the students, barely. Oh, my... I feel like I'm being squished by the girls right next to me, one of them with a lavender coat, wings and horn... one of them with a rainbow mane and cyan coat... in front of me, a pink, messy-maned one... behind me, a rather elegant-looking one right by one who is the exact opposite.

I stick my head in my hooves. It will all be over soon, it will all be over soon... I repeat again and again in my head, trying to find my happy place. Angel Bunny eating carrots, birds singing all around me, beavers digging into trees, the rushing sounds of the river... ah, yes, I'm there now. So... peaceful.

Then the peace is shattered when the awfully loud sounds of the microphone kick in. I cover my ears, in both panic, and that the microphone was screaming bloody murder, threatening to blow the speakers. I snap open my eyes, but rather being overtaken full in panic, I spotted something... rather cute. In the messy-maned one's hooves, there was an action figure. Not any action figure, though. A cute, small automaton, accompanied by others, a large, burly one a patriarchal figure, and the other curvier, matriarchal figure.

I manage a "D'aw!" These automatons are a family! How very cute! I cannot take my eyes off them; I don't want to take my eyes off them. The messy-maned mare tosses the kid automaton up in the air ever so slightly and gently. I can almost see a smile on the foal's face... it's just so adorable!

"Fillies and Gentlecolts!" announces a voice after the painful white noise of the microphone subsided. "Welcome to the 1014-1015 year of Canterlot Secondary School! I am your principal, Cheerilee, and I hope you all have had a wonderful first day!"

There was a groan, a giggle, and a grunt all around me. The messy-maned mare sets down the foal automaton, punches a hoof in the air abruptly, woohs, then continues to play with the automaton toy.

I take in a deep breath. I need to pay attention to the presentation, I think. After all, they may disclose useful information during this. I slowly look up and down onto the stadium, the cheerleaders popping out from either side of it. They assume their position in three blocks, one facing us, one center and split, the other facing the other stands. They yell their chants to remixed music, conducted by DJ Pon3 herself. I manage a smile through anxiety. See? This won't be too bad.

About five minutes later, the messy-maned mare is invested in the assembly, leaving her automaton action figures on her lap, upright, holding hooves. I suppress an "Aw!" Not only are they a family, but they love each other so much! I hold my hoof to my heart, twisting back and forth as if I am hugging somepony. It's just too adorable! My heart, my poor heart just can't take it! I lean back in my seat, fantasies of the family running though my head: the parents running the foal to and from school, the dad heading off to work, the mother keeping the house and doing external work of her own.

But then something really horrible happens! The messy-maned one jumps up out of her seat, and her action figures go flying in front of her. She manages to grab a hold of the mother and the child, but the father flies further into the seating, hitting a poor mare on the head. I gasp, probably louder than I should have. No way! I think. This can't be happening! The family... they... they lost the father! I feel tears well up in my eyes. What will the mother do? What will the foal do? Oh, no, this is bad! It's... it's so sad!

I wipe away tears as, only a moment later, the father is passed back through the waves of students, floating hoof by hoof until it reached the messy-maned mare again. She hugs it in a way I would, close to her chest, tight enough that it could burst. I wipe away another tear, this one of joy, and manage a laugh. The father is back in safe hooves... at last... and now, for some reason, the crowd doesn't at all seem as intimidating as it used to be.

Author's Note

Fluttershy makes it through the assembly, and later, the end of the school day. Hadn't Pinkie Pie (as she heard her be called) played with those cute, automaton action figures, she would've been broken down on arrival.

"Thank you, Pinkie, master of killing time," she whispers as she canters home to tend to the wildlife.

And thus ends the first day of school! This was really fun to write, and I really hope you guys enjoy it!~ This would be the first rated everyone fic that I've done, and that is an achievement on my part! But anyways, thank you so much for reading!!!