Devon's poniefied adventure, season 1, reform

by Derec mc coy

Rating: mature
Tags: Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Sex, Random, Princess Celestia, Human
Length: 2509

Devon star. probably the biggest selfish, bigmouthed ladykiller on earth, got transported to Equestria. Celestia decides to reform him, so he would be a good human for once... but that ain't so easy

"Humans" Celestia sighed. "all sex adicted."

Devon is a real ladykiller and he has a big ego. but he has more good parts. his motto is 'Carpe Diem' (or 'Yolo'). so he doesn't care when he got teleported to Equestria. although it's for his judgment

Celestia can't outstand a jerk like Devon. so, Devon has to go to ponyville to learn the importance of friendship. or else...

it's rated comedy, so that means NOTHING IS SERIOUS.

warning: this may contain the following.
sex
human x pony
swearing
cruel language
more sex

for your own good... get two beers and a your momy when you read this

Dislike? tel me why. TELL ME... if you dare

And if you're doing a review, let me know.

Published 2014-08-15 16:40:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-07 14:38:22 UTC

intro (unedited)

Author's Note

this is just a little introduction. it's the just the judgement. it's nothing, compared to the stuff that will follow.
the first episode will come out later... still don't know when.

editors are welcome. just as comments

intro (unedited)

Devon Star woke up in the middle of a room. He tried to stand up, but his feet started to shake so he fell back on his back. “where am I” he asked himself while he stroke his hand trough his hair.

“in the room of judgment.” A mysterious voice said.

Devon sat up and scanned the room. in front of him, there was a huge table with a horse behind it. The horse was white, horned, winged and had floating rainbow coloured manes. Behind him, there were a seven ponies with paperwork behind a smaller table.

“who are you?” Star asked the big pony.

“I am princess Celestia.” The white uni/pegasus said.

Devon stood up and rubbed in his eyes. “good morning princess.” He scratched his perfect shaved chin and scanned the rest of the room. “it’s a bit boring out here. Just two tables and a bunch of ponies.” He yawned. “can I get some coffee?”

Celestia cocked her eyebrow. “you’re not surprised to see talking ponies?”

Devon stretched his thinly arms and back and shook his head. “nope.”

“okay then.” Celestia said. And she took her papers. “so, now you’re awake, we can start.”

“start with what.” And he walked to a shimmering crystal and stroke his bouncy brown hair straight.

“your judgment.” Celestia said.

“Judgment? Ha! What did I do wrong Princess.” Devon laughed. “I am the most awesome person on earth. Everything I do is right.” And he walked back in front of the huge table.

“Devon Star. By this, we want to discuss your deeds on earth. And with that, we will think about a punishment.” A mare from the back said.

“punishment? Deeds?” Devon turned around to face the mare. “what?”

“we observed you for a while and came to the conclusion that you are the biggest jerk in the world.” The mare returned.

“Jerk?” Devon started to smile. “oh come on. I’m the most beloved human ever.”

“Devon!” Celestia yelled. “you don’t have to argue with her. You have to talk to me.”

“oh, this is gonna be fun.” He pulled a chair from the smaller table and placed it in front of the big table. “so you wanna talk? Great. Go ahead.”

Celestia rolled with her eyes. “listen. Before we are going to judge you. Can you tell us what happened last night?”

“sure.” Devon said “yesterday, I saw a movie at the theatre, seduced a lesbian couple, took them to my place and screwed them.”

Celestia nodded. “any idea why your not laying in bed then?” she asked.

“I guess your gonna tell me.” Devon said.

“that’s true. You are here be…” Celestia stopped. “why are you smiling and staring at my horn?”

Devon smirked a bit. “oh, nothing. I feel a bad word joke coming up. Including your horn and sex.”

“keep it for yourself!” Celestia demanded.

“yeah, I thought the same. It’s not a good joke anyway.” Devon nodded. “so, why am I here and not in my bed whit my two horny girls?” he smirked.

“Because you …” Celestia stopped again. “horny? Seriously?”

Devon smiled and chuckled a bit. “I told you it’s not a good joke.”

“however.” Celestia continued. “as we said, you are a selfish, arrogant, rude, sex-obsessed creature who needs to be reformed.”

“You can’t proof that!” Devon stood up and pointed mad at Celestia. “you can’t just drag me to this place and tell me what I am!”

Celestia smiled and closed her eyes a bit. “oh, I’ll bet you, I can do that.”

“we have documentation about your mistakes and actions.” The mare in the back said again.

“you ma’am” Devon turned around and yelled. “you should shut your mouth before I fill it with sperm!”

The mare was startled by this reaction.

“I can’t hear another word from you.” Devon finished.

“Devon!” you can’t say anything like that.

“oh, I’ll bet you, I can do that.” Devon snapped back.

“as we said.” Celestia sighed. “we’re observing you for a while, and the only thing you do is fuck girls, eat fast-food, drink beer and coffee and watch TV”

Devon nodded half. “that are thing I do, okay. But you can’t say I’m unhealthy. Look at me how skinny I am.”

“you use cruel language toward your friends and use them as your slave.” Celestia continued. “and you use girls sadness to go to bed with them.”

Devon sat back on his chair. “okay. one. It’s not cruel language. It’s explicit language. It’s just a way to express myself. Secondly. I don’t use my friends as slaves. They love to work for me. And finally. I comfort girls in my own way.” He rejected.

“by promising love that you don’t have” Celestia said. “and then we didn’t talked about your misdeeds.”

“I am not a bad guy.” Devon came a bit closer to Celestia.

“no?” the princess asked. “you puked in a can and sold it as soup to an old lady.”

“sorry. But I needed the money.” Devon rose his voice a bit.

“yeah. To pay a hooker.” Celestia said with disgust.

“it’s not a hooker, it was a call girl!” Devon said a bit louder, almost yelling. “when does someone understand that it’s not the same!”

“don’t yell to me.” Celestia demanded.

“I’M NOT YELLING” Devon shouted.

“calm down.” Celestia said soft and sternly. “don’t make this worse than it’s already is.”

“worse? What can be worse than dragged into a boring room filled with talking ponies?” Devon stood up and walked around.

“I thought you didn’t care.” Celestia smirked.

“that was until you opened your mouth and started to complain about my behaviour. If you don’t like me, then why did you brought me here?” while he raged, he shook his head all around and spit a few times on the floor.

“I think I gonna ad respectless to your list” Celestia mumbled softly. “Devon.” She then spoke out loud. “you are here, so you can learn everything about friendship, and become a good person.”

Devon stroke his hair back where it belongs to be. “and what I don’t want it?”

“then you will never see your ‘horny’ couple back.” Celestia said.

“I will find other girls.” Devon said back and took his chair back.

“don’t you aver get sick of all that sex?” Celestia asked.

“only when I ate Chinese.” Devon smiled.

Celestia rolled with her eyes. “and over twenty years?”

“ever heard of viagra?”

Celestia slapped herself in the face. “you have no choice. I’ll send you to Ponyville to learn the imperative of friendship, to learn you some manners, and to get rid of your sex addiction.”

“fuck this. I rather die” Devon said.

“I can change you into a girl if you want.” Celestia smirked.

“yeah. That would be awesome. I’d like to know how it feels to fuck a girl when you are a girl.” Devon smiled.

“you’re sick.” Celestia said. “I wanted to say, changing you into a girl, by slicing of your penis and send you back to your bed.”

Devon’s look turned to a surprised one. “my cock…” he whispered.

At that moment, a little alarm went off in Devon’s pocket.

“what’s that.” Celestia asked.

“nothing. It just means that it’s time.” Devon took a watch from his pocket and switched of the alarm.

“time for what?” Celestia asked curious.

“time for my orgasm.” Devon said. He noticed all the confused looks and smiled. “see. When I was at high school, I promised myself that I would have orgasm each 48 hours. And apparently, I’m laying here… 47 hours.... and how did that happened?”

"Magic" Celestia sighed.

He saw several ponies in the back slapping there own face.

“so. Which one of you wants to be alone with me for a moment?” Devon asked “it don’t have to be so intentional. If I come, I’ll be happy.”

“with ponies?” Celestia asked. And she was about to vomit, but apparently, horses can’t vomit. (thanks to chocolate shadows to let me know)

“yep” Devon said. “I’m always up for something new.”

“you are really sick.” Celestia said. “Guards.” She yelled.

Two guards came in, armed with spears.

“ah. The only weapon a pony can carry.” Devon laughed.

“take that… thing away. Bring it to Ponyville. I let Twilight know what to do with it.”

episode 1 hot purple flanks aren't cool

"No," answered Twilight when she heard Celestia's pleads.

"But Twilight, you know NOTHING about what he's like! He's all... sex-addicted!" said Princess Celestia.

"So?"

"Look, Twilight, he's... he... every 48 hours..."

"Princess, I know enough about humans to know that some, like Devon, are like that. And there's nothing I can do Princess!"

Princess Celestia pondered over it. Then it stuck her like lightning.

"Twilight, maybe you and your friends can do something about Devon," Celestia fluttered her eyelashes, looking at Twilight with innocence.

"No," said Twilight.

"Twilight, as your teacher and mentor, I order you to-"

"Princess, no. I mean, I'm flattered that you chose me, but me? With Devon? This pervert, sex-addicted, jerk?"

"Twilight, ad your mentor, I need you to-"

"Ask somepony else! Princess, I'm a virgin, and-"

Princess Celestia shook her head.

"Then you're no longer my faithful student. You have failed me Twilight Sparkle," she said in a somber tone.

"Wait!" Twilight exclaimed. The princess raised her eyebrows.

"I'll do it!" said Twilight, defeated.

"YESH!" cheered Princess Celestia. "He'll be there in an hour,"

"WHAT!?"

"Devon?" Princess Celestia asked her 'guest'.

"Yeah? I'm kinda busy, you talking mule. And like I had promised myself-"

"Devon, you're going to Ponyville. Now." she said.

Devon looked at her puzzled. "Says who? You? Pft! You're just a gawdawful pony princess," he said, stretching his fingers.

"Devon, you need to. You need to learn about friendship, and my student Twilight Sparkle has offered to do so herself," she said, partially telling the truth.

"Friendship? No,"

"And there's a bonus," she blurted out. This made Devon stand up.

"And what is this bonus you speak of?"

"Twilight Sparkle. She had offered to help you complete your... duty.... task... whatever."

Devon raised his eyebrows.

"Is she hot? Even though she's a pony, is she horny?"

"She's hot and horny. And she needs you Devon,"

"Okay, get me to Ponyville, NOW! My 48 hours are nearly up,"

***

"Twilight, this is Devon, Devon, this is Twilight," said the princess.

Twilight was a purple mare, with purple eyes and an indigo mane with a vertical pink stripe running through it. On her rump was a magenta star with smaller white stars surrounding it, and on her head was a long, purple, unicorn horn. She was slim and looked tight, and Devon was ready.

"Nice to meet you," said Twilight, smiling.

"Same," said Devon.

"I'll leave you two alone. Luna's waiting," said Princess Celestia, flying off back to her castle, leaving a silent Devon and smiling Twilight together, alone.

"So, Devon. I'm Twilight, Princess Celestia's faithful student. Or so she says. I was here to teach you about friendship," she said, spinning around. Devon followed her to a giant tree (which he found out was really a library). But with each step Twilight took, Devon could only look at her ass (or how they said it, rump), and how it shone in the sunlight, and was already having a vision of his cock in there, pumping into the mare.

Inside the giant tree, Devon got instantly bored. He really, really, didn't want to learn about friendship. His 48 hours were going to be up in ten minutes, and this fine mare was just standing in front of him, like a virgin, and Devon wouldn't be able to keep his hands off her soon.

"Devon, the princess tells me you need to have an orgasm every 48 hours, and if my calculations are correct..." she paused for a second. "... those 48 hours will be up in nine minutes,"

Devon nodded. "But they're no girls in sight, except you," said Devon.

Twilight nodded. "And that's why I'll be happy to help you. Help you have your desired orgasm,"

"Really?" said Devon, searching for the buckle in the belt that held his pants up.

"But." she said. Devon hated buts. Not butts. He adored butts, especially soft, silky ones which belonged to girls. He just hated buts. "If I do, you must permit me to give you one lesson about friendship,"

"No way," said Devon.

"Yes way. Like I said, the clock is ticking," she said, pointing at a clock hanging off the wall. Devon brought his hand to his face.

"FINE!" he screamed. There were only three minutes left, and he wasn't going to fail. And anyways, Twilight was smoking hot.

Devon didn't have any time to waste. He fumbled with his belt

"FINE!" he screamed. There were only three minutes left, and he wasn't going to fail. And anyways, Twilight was smoking hot.

Devon didn't have any time to waste. He fumbled with his belt.

Twilight walked at the window, and closed the curtains.

“You can leave a light on” Devon winked.

“Sure. How else can you masturbate?” Twilight smirked.

“What?” Devon yelled.

Twilight threw a book and a box clinex to Devon. “don’t spill any…. Thing… on the carpet please.”

Devon was stunned by this action. “I thought you…” his pants fell of and revealed his weewee.

“I said I would help you” Twilight turned away. “not that I would have sex with you.” And she ran outside.

“That mule of a…” Devon looked at his watch… “crap! Only two minutes left!” he opened the book and saw the purple unicorn on a picture, together with five other hot ponies… “Hello there…and all nude…”

***

Three minutes later, Devon walked in the kitchen with the unopened box and the book.

“That was fast.” Twilight smirked.

“No wonder.” Devon said. “six hot smoking girls, and nude…” he threw the book on the table. “and a forced arm.”

Twilight wanted to levitate the book.

“I wouldn’t open that for the first… ever….” Devon said.

Twilight closed her eyes and felt some rage coming up. “You didn’t …. In my book”

Devon started to smirk. “I wouldn’t load on your carpet. Which I didn’t…” he smiled.

Twilight opened the book and felt the content of her stomach coming up. “grose.”

“My revenge.” Devon smile. He walked to a drawer and searched for some food. “hay? Twilight… do you have something to eat? I’m kinda hungry.”

Twilight threw the book away, and grabbed Devon with her magic. Sure. But first, you need to learn your lesson”

Author's Note

thank you blue valentine for writing this with me! you're so cool. thanks a lot! (she did most of the writing this time)