Reminiscence

by Such A Chlorbag

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Tragedy
Length: 7206

Discord looks back on a life full of pain and mistakes. Now that all has been said and done, will he ever be able to fix what's in the past?

Discord has lived a long life. One full of pain, mistakes, and betrayal. After his redemption at the hands of his friends, he wonders if all can truly be forgiven and what it is inside him that they can all see. More importantly, he wonders, is it already too late?

Published 2014-08-15 20:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-15 20:50:03 UTC

Reminiscence

I remember the first time I’d met them.

It was a cold winter afternoon and I fancied taking a stroll through the flimsy forest of Equestria. Of course, the trees were at their most beautiful during the winter time, with their gangly branches spreading out for all to see. Anyhoo, I was snaking my way through a nice bushel of oaks when I came across a snow laden field. I don’t know if you know me, but if you do then you would know that I absolutely adore snow! Oh, all the things you can do with snow! You can roll it, you can pack it, you can throw it, you can do anything! I don’t know how many hours I spent there just making balls of the fluff and laying down to make snow draconequuses.

Ah, but I digress. Where was I? Oh, right. Them. I’ve seen ponies before. The rotten, putrid quadrupeds with their “holier-than-thou” attitudes who are more likely to banish me from their town than to actually hold a conversation with me. Who was laughing at whom when their town happened to have a sudden infestation of parasprites the very next day? Anyway, horrid creatures. But these two – oh… they were different.

The sky was overcast and the field had become quite foggy, so I wasn’t so sure that my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me. But then I thought, what could play a trick on me? So I got a little closer. I eased up on them, wondering what exactly it was they were doing. I crawled over the crest of a hill and looked down upon them, and what I saw was simply exuberating!

They were playing. Two ponies, prancing around throwing snowballs at each other. I had to force myself not leap on in there and join the two in their merriment. But what held me back was the way the two ponies looked. One of them, the older of the two I’d assumed, was as white as the snow that she stood on. Not an imperfection on her. Quite beautiful, in an artistic sort of way. But, here’s the kicker, she had a horn and wings! Now I’m no expert on ponies. Not by any means. But I knew right when I saw her that she was something special, something different. Oh, and did I not mention that she had an aurora for a mane? I thought I’d mentioned that.

I looked over and saw – oh my! – another one! She was much younger – you could tell – but this one had the bluest coat I had ever seen. She ran up and down the field, using the magic in her horn to toss snowballs at the older one. Her smile was adorable. I’ll always remember that smile, even today. Such childlike wonder, like nothing bad could ever happen to her. Ah, to be young again. Her mane was no less magnificent, mind you. Looking into her mane was like viewing an illustrious hole bored straight through the planet and into the deep cosmos that lied beyond. I was at a loss for words! Two completely different and unique creatures and they were playing right in front of me like it were nothing! I needed to get closer. But… they would shun me like all the rest. Cast me out as a freak of all that was natural in the world. Then again, maybe they wouldn’t. They were different too. So I’d thought that I had a chance.

“Sister, what’s that?” the younger one shouted. I’d been spotted! I quickly scampered back over the hill, hoping they hadn’t perceived any malintent from my spying. I could hear the older one mutter something quickly to her friend. Her voice was much deeper. A moment later she calls out to me.

“Hello!” she said. “You don’t have to be afraid! We won’t hurt you!” How many times had I heard that one before? Still, they were young. They couldn’t have been past their teen years and I hoped that they were of kinder heart than those who’d come before. I wagered a quick glimpse.

Peeking out over the snowy hill I caught the two staring right at me. Where I had expected looks of disgust and fright were instead ones of wonder. The blue one looked up at me, mouth agape, like she was seeing the moon rise for the first time. The white one, more stoic in appearance but certainly intrigued, stared with bright pink eyes as she began peppering me with questions.

“Who are you?” she asked. “I’ve never seen anything like you before. Where do you come from? And why are you here? Come on out! Don’t be shy.” From her inquisitive nature I deemed her safe for the moment, so I decided to indulge in her questioning. I remember feeling the strangest desire to impress her, so with a snap of my fingers I disappeared with a blink of light, startling the two of them. With a sly grin on my mouth I reappeared not a foot away from them, expecting them to shout out in surprise upon seeing me. I’m not sure why I was disappointed when they didn’t.

“Whoa…” the little one muttered in awe.

“Hello, my little ponies!” I began, hoping to get on their good side early on. “May I say, I have never seen anypony quite like you!” With another snap of my fingers I conjured an apple out of thin air and leaned down to the little one. “Such elegant yet chaotic bodies you two have. Can you fly, or is it just for show?” I handed her the apple and she grasped it with her magic. Using the pointer finger on my clawed hand I quickly peeled the apple in a corkscrew like fashion, revealing a solid gold finish underneath. She merely looked on with glistening eyes.

Looking to the older one I reached behind my ear, pretending to have trouble yanking out something from behind it. “Now, to answer your questions: I don’t know where I’m from and I don’t know why I’m here.” I managed to pull out a bouquet of flowers and handed it over to her, who gasped in surprise. “What fun is there in knowing why? I do, however, want to know what you two are.”

She too used her magic to grasp the bouquet I had extended to her. “Oh… thank you” she said with a blush. “My name is Celestia. Princess Celestia.” She looked to the other. “And this is my younger sister, Princess Luna.”

Princesses? Now that was unexpected. The last thing I thought these two teenagers running about in the snow to be were ponies in a position of power. They were certainly strange, that was for sure. But I liked strange. It meant they were like me. It meant that they didn’t follow the rules.

“Now isn’t that interesting?” I asked. “Ponies not even past their teens and you’re both rulers of an entire country! How did that happen, hmm?”

Celestia looked down at her sister before returning to me. “Well, we were just sort of… asked. The tribes in our country were having a lot of issues and they thought ponies like us were the right pick for the job.”

“Ponies like you?”

“Alicorns!” shouted the little Luna. “We have the powers of pegasi, unicorns, and earth ponies! And we have control over the moon and the sun!” She turned her body to show me the mark all ponies had on their rears. To my surprise she hadn’t been making it up, she really did have the moon draped across her mark. Turning to Celestia, I saw that she had a mark of the sun as well. Interesting.

“You never did say what your name was, stranger,” Celestia said cautiously.

I raised an eyebrow. Ah, the question everyone always seemed to ask, no matter where I’d ended up. “To tell you the truth, I don’t have a name. And I don’t need one!” I smiled before floating up into the air above them. “As you can see, I can stand on my own two feet without one!” Luna giggled at my joke. I already liked that about her.

Snaking through the air to come up between them, I wrapped an arm around each of their shoulders and brought them in closer. “But, strangely enough, everywhere I seem to go ponies come up with the same name for me every time. So, if you’d like, you can call me what I’m know as by everypony else.”

“And that would be?”

“Why, Discord, of course…”

Luna squinted in curiosity. “Discord? Why would ponies want to call you that?”

I floated back in front of them and landed once more, giving myself a curious scratch to my head. “Why, I haven’t the faintest idea.”

“It doesn’t matter to us, Luna,” Celestia intervened. “And to correct what you said earlier, we actually aren’t in our teens. We’ve been around almost one hundred years now, it’s just that alicorns don’t grow at the same rate the rest do.”

I put a paw to my chin. “So let me get this straight. The ponies of Equestria saw you for who you were and just gave you rule over them? No vote or anything? To ponies like you?” Equestrians must’ve been a lot more accepting of freaks than where I had been through.

Celestia cocked her head. “We were a little wary at first, I’ll admit. But over the last two decades Luna and I have helped bring the three tribes together in a way that hasn’t been seen in centuries! I don’t think they had much of a choice at the time.”

“Would you like to see our castle?” Luna asked, a gleam in her eye. Looking back on it, she really had quite the child-like amazement when looking at me. Maybe that’s why I agreed to accept her offer.

“A castle?” I repeated. “My, you ponies really do have it all, don’t you?”

“Where do you live now?” Celestia asked. To be honest, I had a loss for words for a brief moment. I had hoped she wouldn’t ask those sorts of questions.

“Oh – well – I…” I stuttered. “I don’t really live anywhere. I merely go town to town, village to village until I find somewhere accepting. It hasn’t been entirely successful so far.”

“You poor creature!” Celestia said. And that’s what I was, wasn’t I? “Yes, please, come stay with Luna and I for a while. We have plenty of room.”

A place to stay? I hadn’t even imagined something like that for so long! Perhaps they really were kind. My luck might have finally turned around.

“Oh, well, I wouldn’t want to burden you…” I said, feigning my aloofness.

“It would be no burden at all! We’ve had tons of strangers come stay with us over the years. Why, even one of Luna’s best friends is a manticore!” The little one nodded in agreement. “You could stay for as long as you’d like. My sister and I are always there to help someone in need, and you are no exception.”

“Who knows?” Luna piped up. “We may even become best friends!”

I’ve lied to myself for many years thinking back on this moment. Why I did what I did, and what it had led to. I thought I’d accepted for my own benefit, that maybe getting to know princesses would allow me to come to power on my own one day. Perhaps I would overthrow them and get back at all the ponies, griffons, and dragons that had tossed me aside over the years, calling me a freak and not worthy to live alongside them. And then, I would create my own empire fueled by my magic, turning the world upside down into a beautiful chaotic splendor that was mine to control. But, in reminiscence, I know exactly why I said yes. It was because for the first time in my whole life I had the chance of making friends that would accept me for who I was. And as much as I hate to admit it that was exactly what I was looking for as I crossed that snowy field on that cold winter’s afternoon.

They soon brought me to the castle in which they lived, hidden out in what they’d called the Everfree Forest and away from prying eyes. Whether this was to have some peace and quiet or because they actually were thought of as different by their subjects I didn’t know. What I did know was that the castle was amazing! Surely the nicest place I had ever stayed in, although that wasn’t saying much. It had just been built, so everything was still fresh and clean and tidy. That’s not why I liked it though. All that is much too boring. After I had dinner with the two princesses, Luna had the politeness to show me all of the fun things that had been built in. Hidden panels, secret slides, torches made out of disembodied pony legs. Oh! It was all so lovely. I do miss the place from time to time, although I’d say it’s a little worse for wear now, wouldn’t you?

I had been staying there a month and things were getting along quite well. I played with Luna most of the time, showing her all the tricks and pranks I could do with my magic. Celestia tried to limit my doing so, saying it was “putting cruel thoughts into her sister’s head,” whatever that meant. But I never meant anything cruel by it! Honest! What’s the fun in life if you can’t see somepony go crazy every once and a while? Sure, planting a humpback whale in the middle of the earth ponies’ fishing lake may have been a little off the hook, but who cares? No harm done in the long run.

Anyway, the two sisters decided one day to show me something they’d kept secret up until that point. Now, I’m not much of a fan of secrets when it comes down to it, but they had their reasons. And soon, so would I. Descending a long staircase into a crevice surrounding the castle, we came across a cave with a blue luminescence coming from it. Turning the corner to see what was inside, I gasped at the sight that stood before me.

A large tree, devoid of any leaves but certainly still full of life. Small, spherical crystals hung from each branch much like a weeping willow, each cascading light across the cavern. Encased in each of the five branches lay a gem, hexagonal in shape with a plethora of colors between them. And – my favorite – at the very center lie a star with Celestia and Luna’s cutie marks engraved beneath it. It was certainly glorious, and certainly in a style I could get behind. But its looks weren’t what had kept me enthralled at that moment. It was how it felt.

Speaking of secrets, there was one I hadn’t quite told the princesses about just yet. Sensing magic has been something I’ve always been able to do, whether it’s being used by someone or if it inhabits a particular object. When I glanced upon that tree it felt like hitting a brick wall made entirely of magic. I’d never seen anything like it before in my life. And all I knew was that I wanted a piece of it.

“Starswirl the Bearded had shown it to us,” Luna said as she trotted closer to the bulging roots. “We’re not really sure what it is or why our cutie marks are on it, but we know it must be really important.”

Celestia turned to me. “Do you believe in fate, Discord?” I raised a brow. “I do. And I have a feeling our fate is sealed within the roots of this tree. Somehow. We’re just not wise enough to see it.”

I grinned at her. “Celestia, my darling, I am certain of it.” The Tree of Harmony, as I learned to call it, would play a very important part in all of our lives from that moment on. How foolish we were at the time to not even have the remotest idea. The way I saw it was that if I could have somehow taken control of the magic that lay dormant within then nopony else would be able to use it against me. Not exactly a means of offense, but as an old unicorn would soon tell me, “The best defense is a good offense.” And I was planning the best defense of all.

Just in case.

Years passed. The princesses and I became even closer as I lived among them and their royal duties. They never let me partake in them, of course, no matter how much I begged them to do so. I knew that I could help rule Equestria alongside them, but they and I differed in a lot of ways. I could tell Celestia didn’t quite trust me as much as she said she did. Perhaps she was being overprotective of her little sister, but I never could tell what the poor girl was thinking. She did have quite the mind, though. Always thinking, always planning, and worst of all always kind. That kind and genuineness was what led me down the path to my own destruction, although I wouldn’t dream of it at the time.

My fondness for her grew as the years went on. The two sisters grew into their adult forms, and Celestia was more beautiful than ever before. My love for disorder and disarray seemed to disappear whenever I gazed upon her, and I had hoped she had thought the same way about me. I needed her. And all I wanted was for her to say the same. On a less superficial level, however, things weren’t quite as wonderful. While Luna and I loved fun and adventure, Celestia held us back as much as she could in the name of “politeness, sense, and suitability.” Her sister became jealous of the limelight Celestia didn’t share with her, and the more I tried to show them a world without rules and boundaries, more and more she shut me down. I soon became sick of the way she ran her country, and our differing political views came to an unfortunate peak on one fateful day.

Celestia and Luna had royal duties in the city of Canterlot, the unicorn tribe capital at the time. They had brought me along for companionship, and probably because they didn’t want to leave me alone at the castle. Winter was soon approaching, and a riot was spreading in the city due to a heavy drought passing over the Equestrian plains despite all of the earth ponies’ efforts. The unicorns thought they wouldn’t have enough food to last them through the winter. That was soon to be the least of their worries.

“I assure you,” Celestia said as she stood above the crowd of irate ponies, “we are doing all we can to provide enough food for all three tribes through the trying winter storms.”

“You aren’t doing all you can!” a unicorn shouted in anger, “If you were, we wouldn’t be in this situation!” Huddled together to conserve heat, the crowd was shivering in the already freezing weather that had set upon the small city. A light snow had already begun to fall, and I once again looked up and smiled as the flakes fell down onto us. Celestia told me to keep my mouth shut if anyone had spoken up against her, as she knew I was protective of her already. But I was almost at my breaking point.

Thankfully, Luna stepped in. “Thou know not of what we try to accomplish. Politics is most difficult, and convincing all three tribes to work together at times such as this has provided to be unsatisfactory.” She turned to her sister. “We would be most pleased if you were to stop your rioting now, before more damage is set upon your lands.”

Another pony shouted out to the sisters. “What makes you so sure you can provide it for us, Celestia? We’re starving out here while you live in luxury in your fancy castle! What about the rest of us, huh? We deserve some of that too!”

His point struck me by surprise. He was right! What did Celestia and Luna know of hardship? I knew of hardship. I’d lived in it for years before I ever met these two. They didn’t know how to tame a crowd. They didn’t know how to rule over a bunch of starving citizens either. Ones that were too busy complaining to actually do something. We everlasting gods… Ah what chilling blows we suffer – thanks to our own conflicting wills – whenever we show these mortal ponies some kindness.

“As I have said before,” Celestia continued, “our continued works with the earth ponies, the pegasi, and your King Bullion will soon bring an end to your strife. Please, have patience.” More political correctness. Again.

“We didn’t vote for you!” shouted someone. “We want new rulers! Someone who can actually take care of us!”

“Please, take calm of yourselves!” Luna called. “The more violence thou puts forth the more difficult it will be to convince others of you deserving the food you so loudly ask of us!”

The crowd had had it. With the flick of a hoof, a pony had sent a torch that lit up the night over the heads of others and towards Princess Luna. Reacting quickly, I snapped my fingers and whisked the torch away into nothingness. Luna stomped her hooves in anger.

“Take heed, thy ungrateful whelp, before I lock thee in chains for the rest of your unfortunate life!” Her seething temper prompted Celestia to put a hoof across her chest, halting her from doing anything she’d regret. Unfortunately, I was about as angry as she was.

The crowd shouted in vigor. Lifting up torches and pitchforks, they ran to the stage we stood on and prepared for an attack. Celestia had frozen in place. I’m not sure if she did so out of fear of hurting her subjects or legitimate inability, but that slight lapse in judgment prompted me into action.

I soared up above the crowd and with a flash of my magic a great rift appeared in the ground in front of them, stopping them at once and separating them from us. I disappeared only to reappear between the two sisters and towered over them, when a sudden and unique seriousness demeanor overtook me.

“These ponies are as correct as they are obnoxious,” I said so both parties could hear. “You know that, don’t you Celestia? You have no idea what to do.”

Celestia frowned at me. I wasn’t sure if she took me seriously just yet. “Not now, Discord!” she scolded. “This is not the time!”

“Oh, I think it is the time, my dear.” Turning to the crowd, I cast out a hand. “If you truly wanted order and harmony for your people then you should do so by force!” I entrapped the unicorns in a plethora of cages, ensnaring them but quickly eliminating the threat. “Nopony will listen to you if you just stand there and bore them to death. Now, everypony, if you really did want food then what’s stopping you? Take it from the earth ponies! Or, better yet, take it from the griffons! Surely they’re not pecking away at it fast enough.”

Unfolding her wings in anger, Luna walked up to me and dug a hoof into my chest. “Discord, what are you doing? We cannot do this to innocent ponies!”

I shook my head and laughed. “Why of course you can, Princess Luna! These ponies are far from innocent; they nearly took the stage!” I leapt into the air before landing like a spring onto my tail. “But, thankfully, it seems like I’ve taken the stage, haven’t I?”

It was around that time when Celestia knew she had an issue on her hands. Pushing Luna aside, she soared up to become level to me with rage in her eyes. Really, I didn’t want to become course with her but I knew that it was time to cast personal feelings aside and take action!

“Discord!” she shouted. “By rule of The Royal Principality of Equestria, I order you to stand down and release these ponies at once!” It was now or never.

I patted Celestia on the cheek. “Oh, Celie, always so cute when you’re angry. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t these delightful ponies just say that they wanted somebody else to take care of them? The government is powered by its people, is it not?”

“Not like this, Discord. Now I ordered you to stand down!” Again with the formalities. Oh, how tiring!

“You order me?” I asked. “Now, Celestia, we’re friends! You wouldn’t order a friend around, now would you?”

Luna shouted up from below. “A friend would not try to usurp his government right in front of its people!”

An ignorant paw went to my chin. “Why, Luna! Are you trying to say that we’re not friends?”

“Not if you continue in your ways, Discord,” Celestia barked. So that was it. I saw where their true loyalties lay. I tried to discipline a rowdy crowd and get things back under control and that was how they thanked me? A thousand years later and I might see why they did what they did. But, at the time, I made a stark discovery. They were never my friends. So I had no reason to treat them as such.

I vanished into thin air and reappeared on top of a small building behind them. I remember how beautiful the moon was on that night. Bright, full, and in clear view of the city. The light reflected off of the snow as it fell, lighting up the sky in a completely unique way. Luna truly did a wonderful job. Leaning down unto the crowd of uneasy captives, I shouted a proposition.

“It has come to my attention that your princesses are unfit for duty, my tiny equines, and it would do you well to cast them out on your own.” Celestia nodded at her sister and they both soared up to meet me. With a snap of my fingers their wings and horns disappeared, sending them plunging back down onto the stage. They’d reappear in due time, but I wanted the unicorns’ full attention. I could ask for Celestia’s forgiveness at a later date. “However, I’d say I would do a better job at it, wouldn’t you?”

“Discord, please!” Luna shouted. “Do not do this! We do not wish to harm you!”

“Trust me,” I muttered in return, “you won’t.” Two bubbles formed around each princess respectively and they floated up to my eye level. “I am sorry about this, my dears. Truly, I am. But peace and harmony when ruling a government just doesn’t sum up. When it comes down to keeping our people in line, I believe your kingdom could use a little more discord.”

The princesses began shouting at me, but honestly I don’t remember a thing they said. Blood was rushing in my veins and I was much too concentrated on the task at hand. With a flick of my wrist they soared up and over the cityscape of Canterlot back to their quaint little castle. They’d be back in due time; I knew they would. But I would be ready for them.

I cleared my throat. “Ahem. Now that that little incident has been taken care of, let me introduce myself. I am Discord the draconequus, pleased to make your acquaintance.” The crowd shouted in disagreement.

“Now, now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Um, does anypony have a chair I could borrow?” I let the rhetorical question hang in the air as I lifted a paw upwards into the sky, and with it a delightfully tall chair rose from the ground. It even had antlers, like me!

“A throne fit for a king.” Sitting in my rightful place, I looked out onto the ponies. My ponies.

“Well now,” I pondered, “could somebody bring me a chocolate milk?”

My daring seize of the throne had worked! With the unicorns under my rule I soon had the rest of Equestria bending to my will. Not that they had much of a choice, of course. They may have been enslaved by me, I really can’t recall. Regardless, there had been one or two attempts from the princesses to take back what was “theirs” but I’d redecorated the place so much that I really had the home field advantage. And that was the beauty of it. I could do absolutely anything I wanted! Thought the architecture looked too boring sitting on the ground? Well, I had them float upside down in the air! Dirt too rough on my poor cloven hoof? Turn it into a smooth and slippery marble finish. Under my rule fish could fly and birds could swim, and it was the most wonderful thing I could ever imagine! Which made sense, being that I was the one who imagined it.

And yet the whole time I couldn’t help but miss them. Miss her. I would never admit this to anyone, mind you, but I feel like the whole thing was some convoluted attempt to win her affection, her respect. Turning everything topsy-turvy was the most fun that I’ve ever had, but it felt meaningless after the magic dust had settled. I’ve come to learn now that discord cannot exist without harmony, but that was the very thing I tried to do. I got rid of harmony, and rid myself of having a chance at friendship ever again. So I thought.

In the two short years I ruled over Equestria I had one thing on my mind: somehow making it all up with Celestia. I’d apologize to her, we’d embrace each other, and everything would go back to normal. And she’d say those three words to me. Three words that ever since that night I’d been absolutely dying to hear her say. But even now, a thousand years later, it still hasn’t come.

I realized during my tenure that there was only one thing that could ever put a stop to it, the thing that held more magic than I could ever come to imagine. The Tree of Harmony and the gems locked inside. It took all of my brilliant deduction powers to figure out how to claim them from my own, and one day it finally hit me. You see, they were much too powerful for me to just up and grab them, the tree would halt me from doing so. I’d devised a way to remove the stones as well as capture the princesses at the same time. Oh, I was so proud of myself! Using the magical plunderseeds found in the Everfree Forest, the tree wouldn’t sense a magical intruder and leave the stones completely unguarded! I’m brilliant, I know. You don’t have to tell me again.

I didn’t, however, plan on the princesses beating me to it. On my final day as king, neigh, emperor, I allowed Celestia and Luna entrance into my kingdom. I didn’t make it easy, of course, but I let them in. I figured a little banter would do them well before I sent them on their way. When they finally caught up to me, when the jokes and pranks finally ended, I saw what they carried. The gems. The Elements of Harmony! They somehow had attained them without me knowing! I was stunned! I was completely flabbergasted! It was the end for me and I knew it.

And all I could do was laugh.

I really had to hand it to them. They had played a trick on me. Nobody in all my years had ever accomplished anything like that, and they just stood there with straight faces as they powered up their Elements. It was hilarious! Before I knew it, a bright light overwhelmed me. Then, complete darkness. I was frozen, completely unmovable for a thousand years.

A thousand years. Do you know what it’s like to be frozen solid for an entire millennium? Uncomfortable, to put it lightly. Yet a thousand years gave me a lot of time to think, and think I did. I often wondered if Celestia missed me. I missed her. And I still dwelt on those three words I knew I could never get her to say. It’s much too late for that anyway. I don’t blame them for what they did, although I do think they ruined a perfectly good piece of art. Any resentment I may have held over that day died over time, and I was simply left with listening. Being encased in stone didn’t stop me from hearing everything Celestia said, and I heard everything. Luna’s turn to the dark side – or whatever – the disappearance of the Crystal Empire, and everything in between. She had thought it had all fell on deaf ears, but how wrong she was about that. Something changed one day, however. Something that I don’t think even she couldn’t have noticed.

It was about twenty years or so before I was returned to my natural un-stone like self. I wasn’t quite sure what it was at first. Some powerful magic, displacing all else around it. It completely overtook my senses and took a while for me to get used to. It was even more powerful than Celestia in its raw state, and while it soon became contained years later I still heard its resonance in the back of my mind from then on. I forgot about it eventually, as you get used to things when you’re imprisoned in stone for a thousand years. But I thought it was no coincidence when I heard Celestia had taken on a new apprentice not six years later. I heard it through the literal grapevine, “prodigy” this and “prophecy” that. It was all quite boring to me at first, but I eventually began to piece things together. It wasn’t until I met her that my suspicions were confirmed.

Twilight Sparkle. Legend turned enemy turned friend turned… well, I’m not so sure anymore. But from the moment I burst from my tomb I knew she was to play a part in my plans. I had heard the stories. She was merely a girl, much younger than Luna when I first met them, yet she had already returned the dark princess to her rightful self, claimed victory over an ursa minor, and claimed the spot at Celestia’s right hoof. Intriguing, to say the least. I just had to play with her.

Stealing the very objects that trapped me for so many years, I thought I would be able to get things back to where they were when I left them. I already had a good start, but I underestimated Twilight. Underestimated her friends as well. Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy. They were all so small, all so young! I hardly thought anything of them other than as play things. But Twilight proved that she was stronger than she looked, and there was no doubt in my mind at the end of that day while she turned me to stone once again that she was the brilliant burst of magic that lay at the back of my mind. I had only realized it too late.

Once again, I was encased in stone. A year passed, but that really was nothing compared to what I’d suffered before. And during that year I began to hear talks from Celestia. Rumors of “reformation” and “redemption.” It took some time before I realized she was having discussions about me. She thought there was something there, hidden after all of those years that could bring me back to my ways before everything turned sour. I was touched. I was amazed!

I thought she was a fool. It had been over a thousand years, what could possibly change me? There was nothing for me to go back to in a world like that. All of the love and harmony going around make me sick. And a little hungry. But, once again, I was set free from my bondage and given a second chance. I was sure it was a lost cause. But there was one thing that I didn’t count on happening, something that was so far gone in my mind that even the memory of it was difficult to conjure up. Friendship. And it was all from a small, yellow pegasi.

I’d first met Fluttershy in the maze of the royal palace. She was shy, yet so sure of herself and her friends that it just killed me to see something so pure in a world so chaotic. I changed her, forced her to see the bitter reality that I saw and made her treat others the way they were meant to be treated. Yet she was able to return back to the way she was before just like the rest of them. I harbored no affection towards any of the ponies, especially Twilight, but Fluttershy soon let me see the world through eyes which I haven’t seen through in millennia.

She let me in to her home. She fed me, she spoke with me, she even took care of me! But the most amazing thing of all was that she gave me the benefit of the doubt. It hadn’t been since that fateful day on that snowy hill that I had been looked at not as who I was – the monster that causes destruction everywhere he turns – but as who I could be. She saw good in me, just like Celestia and Luna had, and while I fussed and fought all I could I realized that I never wanted to lose that feeling again. It was just so… warm. I accepted her friendship. I saw that friendship was magic, and over the next year I tried my best to share it with others.

And then I threw it all away. The past few days have happened so fast I’m surprised that it wasn’t some sort of horrible dream I had had. Twilight had become a princess, something I knew was coming eventually. She truly is special, whether or not she sees that is unclear. Someone that powerful in magic doesn’t live their life as a librarian. Anyway, as a token of my friendship I decided to usher along her quest to open the box that the Tree of Harmony had put forth for her to solve. She was so close to solving it, she just needed a little push. I knew deep down that she would make Celestia proud.

After giving her the hints and clues needed to solve the majority of the puzzle, I was sent on a mission by Celestia as her newly reformed “defender of the kingdom” or something. I’d met Lord Tirek before. Long ago, before I’d even met the princesses. The centaur and his brother Scorpan were both different than the rest, much like myself, but their constant feuding drove me away early on in our relationship. So when I saw him in that alley on that foggy Canterlot night I was surprised to see how weak he had become, a shell of his former self. Yet what he lacked in sinew he made up for in charisma. He made me believe that I wanted more, more than I could ever realistically regain. I had been cooped up for so long, and as much as I hate to admit it there was still a part of me that longed for the complete control and freedom I had in my younger days. So when I doubted myself for even a second, when I believed that perhaps Celestia’s attempt at friendship was just as much of a shackle as my stone imprisonment, I made the worst decision I had ever made in my life. For a taste of freedom I loosed damnation on Equestria.

A few days later, when all of Equestria was drained of what made it great and the princesses were imprisoned, Tirek’s final plan went into action. I tried hiding Twilight from him for a while, unsure of what his true motives were, but I eventually relinquished that information as well. Finally, after all they had done for me – after all she had done for me – I imprisoned the only ones I could call my true friends. He made me believe that there was something more valuable than friendship, but when he turned his back on me and removed me of my magic I realized how wrong that truly was. There was nothing more valuable, and through my actions I had lost it all. Again. I made Fluttershy cry and that was something I can never, ever forgive myself for.

And yet Twilight never gave up. Despite everything that I had done for her, all of the pain and destruction I had caused, she still called me a friend. I couldn’t believe it. Such trust in others, such desire to bring out what most couldn’t see! And she still saw it in me. She saved me from Tirek; saved me from myself. And through the magic of her friendship she was able to banish Tirek and save Equestria once again. It’s no wonder that she’s the Princess of Friendship. She deserves it more than anyone else that I have ever met.

And now, looking back on it all, I can’t help but feel remorseful for all the things I have done. I had it all: friendship, a place to live, respect from my equals. Time and time again I threw away everything that made me happy in order to fulfill some selfish desire to have power over those I deemed weaker. But they aren’t weaker than me. Twilight, Celestia, Fluttershy. They’ve all shown me that I’m the weak one, and that they are stronger than I could ever hope to be. They look past the superficial and see a Discord that I’m not entirely sure is there. But I’m going to try. More than ever I’m going to try and win back what I’ve lost, and to repair all of the pain I have caused. Because they’re worth it. They always have been. And it’s taken me so long to see it. But even if I manage to somehow fix it all, even if everything was magically taken back I know that deep down they’ll harbor it over me. Deep in their hearts they’ll remember what I’ve done. After all these years I’ve waited to hear those three words from Celestia. From Fluttershy. Those three words that I’ve always wanted to hear that would suddenly make everything better, but now I know that no matter what there’s nothing I can do to hear them.

I forgive you.