Twilight's Alien Adventures Through Nothingness: Dat Sequel Bro
View Online
Twilight's Alien Adventures Through Nothingness: Dat Sequel Bro
Twilight's Alien Adventures Through Nothingness: Dat Sequel Bro
"FUCK YES! FUCK! YES!"
Twilight had been studying for weeks now. Her friends, in response to a novel she wrote, had told her to "die in a hole". Now, she was determined to do just that. However... what's the point if you can't have fun while doing so? In other words, why not fuck around a bit while you're starving to death in a large pit in the ground?
Twilight had finally perfected her spell. This spell would've kicked ass. It was supposed to allow her to have as much fun as possible while dying in the hole. However, it required her to have alien powers once again. Although she had done it before in her short story, it was, after all, just a short story.
After making even more calculations somehow (seriously how would she even do that???) she discovered that by writing her book, a new universe where the story came true had been born. And, because in a few weeks she can accomplish anything, she also found out how to bring the alien Twilight to her. She set her plan in action... and...
"FUCK YES! FUCK! YES!"
Yyyyeah..... Anyways...
The green alicorn resembling the Element of Magic stared for a while. "What the hell happened?" she asked.
"I brought you here so you can use your powers to help me have a bunch of fun as I die in a hole," Twilight explained, "ready to help?
"I like a good hole."
Twlight and Alien Twilight chatted for a bit longer about their love for holes. How they're dark and mysterious, how there's several types, the kind of things they've found inside of them before, and of course, how they are involved in sexual intercourse different sizes.
Finally, they were ready for their adventure. Alien Twilight touched to ground outside Twilight's library. Instantly, a large hole in the ground appeared. But it was a fun hole! There was a ball pit, and a roller coaster, and a hilarious movie about torturing Diamond Tiara! Twilight was so ecstatic that it worked! However, she had troubles.
Alien Twilight saw how much fun it was going to be, and she wanted the fun all for herself. So she used her powers to summon a giant pony zombie thing, with a burning head, and a really fat body, and its mane was made of mini spike balls, and those spike balls were just actual balls, like testicles, with spikes on them and it charged right at Twilight!
Twilight used her magic to make an explosion completely annihilate the zombie's head, it was so gross! The alien wasn't giving up yet. She used her powers to create 100 nukes and make them rain from the sky. This was her signature move. "GO TO HELL, MUTHA FUCKA!"
Alicorn Twilight used a force-field at the last minute, barely holding up against all of the nukes.The nuclear blasts somehow didn't harm the contents of the hole in the ground, nor did they leave any trace of existing in the first place.
"How the hell...?" The alien Twilight was now very confused. AND ANGRY!!!
Alien Twilight created another giant hole right beneath Twilight. This hole contained all sorts of spikes, some lava, a giant dragon named Alduin (Alduin didn't stay long though because the Dragonborn was also put in the hole so he kinda killed Alduin), and a sea monster. Yeah, a sea monster in the lava. Makes sense if you don't think about it.
Anyways, this trap didn't work, because Twilight's mighty and powerful wings which she uses to soar through the blue skies and white clouds kept her in the air. She used her magic to get rid of the hole, but she kept the Dragonborn, cause he's kind of a cool guy (seriously he can like use swords and stuff).
Alien Twilight was enraged now. "Give it up!" she yelled, "its my fun hole! I want to be the only one to fucking dive into it! I don't want you in that hole with me!"
Twilight looked at her in shock. Who did the alien think she was, trying to take the fun hole for herself? Twilight MADE that alien, and she could certainly get rid of it! "No!" she yelled, "This is MY fun hole, and I'm gonna USE IT!"
Twilight used her mighty purple horn of magic awesomeness to create a giant silver spoon (like, an actual spoon, not the annoying bitch of a pony). She then created a large bowl of the brand name "Frosted Flanks of Corn" cereal and proceeded to put the spoon in the bowl. She took some cereal out and smashed it on the alien's face. Alien Twilight staggered back and wiped the giant butt-shaped pieces of cereal off of her face.
"I don't like ass licking," Alien Twilight yelled, "you of all ponies should know that!" She growled and shot a blue laser out of her horn. It hit Twilight's left wing, completely dissolving it. She then did the same to Twilight's right wing. "Where's your precious flying now, bitch?" Alien Twilight proceeded to laugh maliciously, a large grimace appearing quite swiftly on her lime green face.
Twilight began to freak out as she noticed what had become of her wings. Alien Twilight redid the hole from earlier. Twilight grabbed onto the edge of the hole, attempting to pull herself up with her two hooves. Dragonborn, on the other hand, fell in and melted to death in lava as his arms were eaten by the sea monster, and the spikes stabbed his legs. It's okay for him though, he'll just restart at the last time he saved.
Twilight, however, was not from a video game, and she was about to die. Alien Twilight walked over her and laughed before stomping on Twilight's left hoof. This, of course, didn't work, because ponies don't feel pain in their hooves. Alien Twilight was quite shocked, and continued to be an idiot by stomping again. It still didn't work.
Meanwhile, Twilight was casting a spell. She gave herself beautiful butterfly wings, like the ones she gave Rarity! That was so great when she burnt them! Twilight used these wings to fly up out of the hole. She flew so she was behind Alien Twilight, and then the sun burned her wings away. Somehow, this created no pain.
She fell right behind Alien Twilight's flank, kicked it, and the surprised Alien fell to her death. Apparently, aliens aren't completely immortal. They can be killed by touching the melted, mutilated corpse of a Dragonborn. Twilight panted and tried to catch her breath. She then turned to the fun hole. "Yes," she screamed, "a ball pit all for me!"
Twilight jumped in, and played around with the balls. The balls were really bouncy, and they were indestructible. Her horn couldn't even break the balls. Later that night, Twilight was still playing in the balls. Her goal was to die in the fun pit. She hadn't accomplished it yet. She continued to play in the balls. Three days later, she died of thirst, her corpse never being found in the large pit of balls (I like saying balls).
***
Twilight closed the book. "There," she said, "wasn't the sequel even better?"
The rest of the Mane 6 looked at her in disbelief, for several moments, before Rarity once again was the one to speak her mind.
"Well, Twilight," she said, with a big grin on her face, "now I hope that you die of a horrendous disease, without anyone ever finding you. And let's make it slow, terrible, and not in any way fun."
Twilight got studying.