A Certain Shade of Darkness

Sadness can open doors
That nopony dares look inside
And leave a creature within you
Clawing at your mind.

I don't know how long I lie there, face down, crying. Maybe five minutes, maybe ten. I don't really care. When I'm done crying, I look up. My eyes fall on the knife I left laying beside me. The screaming starts up again. It's louder than ever. I know I can't ignore it this time. Even so, I try. I pick up what's left of my pillow, set it on the bed, and hope for the sweet silence of sleep.
It doesn't come.
No matter how hard I try, my eyes stay open, staring at that knife on the floor. Whenever I close my eyes, bright flashes of red and grey force me to open them again. I glance at the clock on my wall. With each second that ticks by, I can hear the screaming getting louder. I won't be able to fight it for much longer. The itching, the tingling in my hooves, that deafening noise that fills my skull. Every passing second makes it harder to bear. Finally, when the clock strikes nine, I can't take it anymore.

I crawl out of bed, towards the knife. The room is silent, but the inside of my head is unbearably loud. I hold the silver table knife tightly in my hoof. I'm not in control anymore. The darkness surrounds me, embraces me, rocks me like a little filly as I prepare to do what the screaming tells me to do.

Then I have a thought.

Why should I hurt myself? It's not me who I'm angry at. It's those jerks who call themselves my friends. It's them I want to hurt. They're the ones who have to pay. They're the ones who always come up with excuses not to spend time with me. When I look back at what they all said to me, I realize something. They all said 'sorry.' Why would they apologize? What to they have to be sorry about? They hate me. That's what they're apologizing for. Every single one of them hates me. They thought I was too stupid to realize that. They were wrong. I see right through their little plan. And I'm going to make them pay.

The screaming is silenced now. I smile and set the knife on my dresser. The next time they try to ignore me, I'll be ready.

I'm suddenly awoken by a knock on my window. Opening my eyes, I see Rainbow Dash hovering outside.
"What do you want?" I demand.

"We're all getting together at the smoothie shop. Wanna come? It was Twilight's idea. It's going to be awesome."

I try my hardest to maintain my cheerful façade. "Of course I want to come! Why wouldn't I want to spend time with my friends?"

Rainbow Dash seems relieved that I didn't try to kill her. "Okay, see you there!"

As soon as she leaves, I pick up the knife. I'm so excited I can hardly breathe.
This is going to be fun.

Outside the door to the smoothie shop, I pause to calm myself. Nopony noticed the knife I was carrying on the way here. Why would they? Nopony cares about the baker's apprentice. But soon they will. Soon they'll care about me. They'll realize how mean it was to ignore me. They'll find out how it feels to be tossed aside like an old rag doll. I will have my revenge, and everypony will learn to respect Pinkimena Dianne Pie.

Taking one more breath of fresh air, I stroll into the smoothie shop. I wonder for a moment if anypony can see the fire blazing in my brain. My 'friends' are seated at the table in the corner, in a nearly perfect circle. One chair sits vacant. Their smiling faces frame it as they turn to face me. Worry shimmers in their eyes. I can tell they see the knife in my mouth. Rarity is the first to speak.

"I hope you don't mind my asking, but whatever happened to your mane?"

One sentence, and all my rage is unleashed.

Sometime during the run, I must have grabbed the knife out of my mouth. I know this because right now it's my hoof that's propelling the silver table knife deep into Rarity's ribs. Blood comes bubbling out of the wound, staining her pristine white fur pink. She stares up at me in shock and tries to say something. I can't tell what she's saying to me. All I notice is the blood trickling out of her mouth. The volume of the screams in the restaurant rises as more and more ponies realize what's happening. An orange pony tackles me, knocking the knife out of my hand. I bite her in the leg. Applejack recoils just enough for me to grab my knife and wedge it into her chest. She's taken care of. Now all I need to do is finish Rarity. I jam the knife into her left hind leg and twist. A fountain of red gushes out, pulsing in time with her faint heartbeat. I take a moment to stare at it, mesmerized by the bubbling fountain of blood. I look around. I'm the reason for the puddles of blood on the floor and the crowds of ponies hiding their faces in the corners. I'm the one behind Applejack lying on the floor, no longer a pony but an inanimate object. The overturned tables and chairs are my fault. A smile creeps across my face. They'll pay attention to me now.

I'm still reflecting on all of this when a beam of alicorn magic hits me squarely in the chest. The last thing I see before the world fades to black is a pair of tear-filled violet eyes staring at me mournfully.