Pyrrha's Amazing Apologetic Adventure

by Okhlahoma Beat-Down

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Princess Luna, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover
Length: 1485

Pyrrha goes on holiday to Equestria and has to apologize a bunch. This was written in half-an-hour since I was bored.

Pyrrha Nikos is given tickets to Equestria because she's just so good at contests and stuff.
Immediately upon arrival, she starts messing things up and has to apologize all the time.

Rated 'W' for 'Why?'
Crossover with RWBY.
Written in 20 minutes, because I felt like insulting Canada.

Published 2014-08-16 02:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-16 02:50:02 UTC

I'm Sorry

With a sigh of relaxation, Pyrrha reclined in her seat and gazed out the window with her scarily green eyes. This was her first day off in a few months, the rest of her days being filled with promotions, advertising, appearances, and other such like, as organized by her agent. After all, everybody had gone crazy when she mentioned how she would be willing to do small promotional things for a bit of extra money, and every corporation in the country had practically gone on its knees to ask her to do advertising. It was no less awkward when the representatives actually turned up on her doorstep and went on their knees to beg.

Often, Pyrrha was in her dressing gown, so that made it a bit more tolerable since she could pretend that the guy woke her up and close the door on him. Not with the intention of sounding rude, of course: She was possibly the most polite and politically correct person she knew of. If somebody bumped into her, she would be the one to apologize so they didn't feel bad. If someone knocked something off a shelf in another room, she would call her condolences through. If somebody mentioned her and gestured to her to demonstrate her presence, she would raise a hand and say 'Hello!'

It was how her mother raised her! A good warrior is nothing without friends to back her up. Keeping these thoughts in mind, she made every effort not to put her feet on the table in-between the two sets of seats on the train. This was a corporate payment for her simple promotion of Pumpkin Pete's cereal, so she had no reason to feel like she deserved this vacation. However, it was to a place rarely anybody visited, a town named 'Ponyville' in a country called 'Equestria'. Apparently it was a nice place, with nice locals and an interesting culture, plus she had even been invited to stay with the local monarchy, so she felt a slight pang of pride as she saw the train entering the town. Rolling green hills and tall mountains surrounded the village, the whole place giving an air of medieval-ness with its thatched-roof buildings and carts everywhere. In the distance, a palace was built into a mountain to overlook Equestria. Pyrrha felt she might look into that a bit further if she had access to local records.

Finally, with a wheeze, the train slowed and halted at the station, a wash of steam throwing itself over the platform to make a form of carpet for Pyrrha in all of her red-haired-green-eyed-Canadian glory. She carefully stepped onto the wooden platform, holding her suitcase with her right hand and scratching her head with her left as she walked from the station. Casting a glance sideways to the few ponies that were looking at her in bemusement and giving a small wave and smile, she was unable to see where she was going and thus walked straight into a hanging sign above the station platform. Wincing and staggering slightly, she rubbed her forehead. "I'm sorry!" she cried quickly, raising a hand. Then she realised that a sign is an inanimate object, and thus does not speak nor feel impact, so her apology was needless. It made her feel good, though, so she felt no need to take it back.

Rubbing her forehead to relieve the pain, she continued on her way to the 'palace'. The information she was given was that she would recognise it when she saw it, so she kept a keen eye out for it amongst other buildings. Once again, not paying attention to where she was going resulted in a loud metallic clang as something impacted her greaves. On reflex, Pyrrha immediately raised her hand. "I'M SORRY!" she said quickly, looking down to see what it was. To her pleasant surprise, there was a small pony stood in front of her rubbing its snout. It was orange with purple hair, plus a tiny and adorable pair of wings, so Pyrrha crouched down. "I'm sorry..." she said calmingly. The little foal laughed, shaking away the possible broken nose.

"It's OK, Miss Human Lady!" she giggled. "I've had worse. Name's Scootaloo, toughest Crusader of the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" Just then, two other foals came up beside her on either side. "These are my friends, Sweetie Belle," She gestured to the white and purple unicorn beside her, who waved a tiny hoof, "And Applebloom!" She pointed the hoof to the yellow and red foal beside her, who gave a tip of an invisible stetson/fedora. Pyrrha smiled.

"How grand," she said in a monotone yet somehow cheerful voice. "Do you know where I can find the local palace?"

"Mmmm..." Scootaloo rubbed her snout. Palace? We have the library, but that blew up. So no. "...nnnnope, sorry." Pyrrha remained persistent.

"Do your parents know where it is?" she asked. At the mention of the word 'parents', Applebloom and Scootaloo burst into tears and ran off. Sweetie Belle somehow disappeared, leaving Pyrrha to put a hand to her mouth and call after the two crying children. "I'M SORRY!"

Eventually, Pyrrha located the palace, and upon entry to the large crystalline tree she had to give her spear to the guard on duty. He was orange with blue hair and seemed nice. Smiling, and giving her spear to the stallion, he accidentally pricked himself on the tip of it. He let loose a barely audible 'oh' of surprise and looked at his hoof. Pyrrha immediately had a panic attack. "I'M SORRY!" she cried, before performing Medic-grade repairs on his barely noticeable paper cut. This meant that Flash Sentry now had a mechanical arm for stealing waifus with, and decided that the spear was really not that sharp, allowing Pyrrha to keep it. Opening the door with his new arm (and stealing Yang in the process), Pyrrha was greeted by a truly grand reception hall. Standing at the top of the stairs, there was a purple unicorn/pegasus combo and a white pegasus/unicorn combo, the latter being inherently taller than the other and thus more intelligent. She had a warm smile, similar to that of her smaller friend. Pyrrha greeted royalty the way she knew best.

"Hello!" she beamed, waving slightly. The taller horse smiled.

"Hello, Miss Nikos," she greeted politely. Pyrrha began to make an ascent up the stairs to greet her, however on the way up her metal boot chipped a piece of the stairs. Being a magic castle, it immediately grew back, and internally, the apologizing intensified. Resisting all urges to apologize for everything, she finally reached the top of the stairs. She towered over the purple UniPegasus, who looked up at her with an expression of wonder. The white horse, meanwhile, was just about as tall as Pyrrha. Pyrrha was just better, because she had nicer hair. But she didn't want to say that, because that would be rude, and if she said anything rude, Pyrrha would immediately turn into a wild-child who goes out clubbing all night and wakes up next to a faunus due to being drunk the night before. Regardless, the taller horse extended a hoof. "I am Princess Celestia, and I welcome you to Equestria."

"Hello!" Pyrrha greeted again, not knowing what else she could say. "I'm Pyrrha. I'm a quarter Canadian."

That night, Pyrrha was dreaming about maple syrup when suddenly the gold-orange surroundings were interrupted by a patch of blue. This blue transformed into a blue version of Princess Celestia, except this one looked more depressing to talk to. "Hello!" Pyrrha greeted as she stroked her Lumberjack beard. "I'm Pyrrha."

"Yes," the mare replied, "So I understand." As the blue mare stepped forward towards Pyrrha's ice hockey game with other Lumberjacks, she stepped in some maple syrup. Pausing, she lifted a hoof to inspect it. "What is...this...?" she trailed off, looking at the substance. This level of guilt was too much to take, and Pyrrha immediately did what she did best.

"I'M SORRY!" she cried, as she woke up. She looked around the dark bedroom. "I must leave, I have done too much wrong." she muttered. Quickly, she got out of bed, put her clothes over her glorious goddess-like body, and packed her suitcase. She knew it was rude to leave a host without saying goodbye, but she couldn't face the guilt of what she had done! She must have stepped on 4 snails on the way to the palace!

That's, like, twice as bad as the Holocaust.

And that's terrible.

Grabbing her spear and shield, she opened the window and leapt out of the 15th story of Princess Twilight's outrageously impractical palace, landing on the dirt below and running to the train station. As she stood waiting for the train, Pyrrha looked at the moon. "This town is too rough for me."