Another Dog and Pony Show
Home. I was home. I could smell the earth, feel the cool soil under my paws, hear the dripping of water in a distant reach of the caves. I reached out with one forepaw and laid it on the cave wall. The stone was cool and smooth, with a barely noticeable grain to it. I let my mind drift into the stone and sink through the depths of the earth, feeling for the distant call of the gems I sought.
“There.” I whispered, sensing the trace of magic. “Found you, sneaky little jewel!”
I stepped back from the wall and unsheathed my claws. Power rushed through my arms as I began to dig. Enhanced with natural magic, my claws cut through the dirt and stone with ease. In my mind I could still feel the gems, their power reverberating through the layers of earth.
The magic of a diamond dog is different, more subtle than that of a pony. The earth ponies are the closest, being in tune with the land and the crops that grow in it. Diamond dog magic is in the manipulation of earth. Dog-dug tunnels are in no danger of collapse, and dog-built walls are stronger than most any others. But my own talent was in jewels. I could sense and manipulate the magic stored within them, turning them into useful tools, or lethal weapons.
It was a relaxing task, feeling the stone peel away beneath my empowered claws. As I dug, I pondered the nature of our ability to carve through the solid rock so easily. I'd been taught as a pup that we Diamond Dogs had a special connection with the earth, that we were the children of stone and soil. The gods had granted us power to reshape the earth around us, and it was our duty to use that gift to find the gems buried underground. Those magical crystals were the basis of our entire social structure, our primary export to the other societies of Equestria.
Finally, I reached the gems. The last few inches of dirt fell away, revealing the glittering pile of jewels. Retracting my claws, I scooped them out of their resting place and dropped the lot into my bag. They clicked and rattled against each other inside the cured leather.
As I prepared to search again, a dim light filled the tunnel. My paw went up to the jewel on my collar, which had begun to glow. Red, that was not a good sign. I turned and ran up the tunnel I'd excavated, all four paws pounding the stone. The jewels set into the walls were all glowing with the same light as my own, providing illumination that I scarcely needed. Every dog knew the layout by heart, and if they didn't then they could feel it in the stone. I passed several others on my way, diggers and soldiers racing alongside mothers and their pups to the massive central chamber. With my sensitive ears, I could already hear the growing din. This was something huge.
I entered the Grand Meeting Hall, a room as large as some of the smaller pony villages, and made my way as close to the raised dais at the far end as I could.
“Dogs of the Everfree pack!” The chief called out, raising a staff in one gnarled paw. “We are here because this den is being threatened! The ponies want to mine the gems in this field for themselves, and are trying to remove us from our homes!”
The crowd broke out in worried murmurs at this, whimpering in fear at the thought of losing the homes they had known for so many years.
“Be at peace, my pack.” He said, cracking the metal tip of the staff on the stone. “We are not so easily routed. The ponies have given us twenty-four hours to leave. I propose that we use that time instead to prepare. Any who wish to leave are free to do so, but those of you who will stand and fight will be honored before the gods and remembered as heroes!”
The gathered pack rose to their paws and cheered.
“All of the children and elders will be evacuated to the Everfree Forest. Those who do not wish to fight our eviction will accompany them as protection.”
The pups were ushered out by their caretakers, and those dogs too old to fight followed. Several of the diggers and hunters went with them. Not a single soldier broke file.
I held my place. The caves were my home. I was not going to be forced out by ponies too greedy to trade for the gems we mined. The next twenty four hours passed in a blur of constant work, broken only by occasional breaks to rest. We rigged tunnels to collapse, dug new ones leading to traps and dead ends, and closed off nearly all entrances to the central chambers.
As the final minutes passed, I felt a distant rumble. The unmistakable reverberations of hooves on the ground above. The Speaker made his way to the cave entrance and stood, arms folded as he watched the ponies approach. A dozen Royal guards, garbed in golden armor, marched up to him.
“The twenty-four hour grace period has passed.” The leader of the guards said, levitating a scroll out of his armor. “You and your fellow dogs are hereby ordered to depart under the authority of Princess Celestia, the Diarch of the Sun, and Princess Luna, Diarch of the Moon.”
“May I have your name, pony?” The Speaker asked, leaning on his staff. A short and twisted length of wood taken from a Timberwolf, it was nearly as thick around as the Speaker's arm and inlaid with faintly glowing jewels.
“I am Aegis.” The pony replied. “Captain of the Royal Guard and enforcer of the Princesses' laws.” He rolled the scroll and put it away. “Are you prepared to vacate the premises?”
“No.” The Speaker paced forward, smiling amiably. “We diamond dogs are not bound by the laws of your Princesses. This land has been ours for generations, and we will not allow you to change that.”
“Leave willingly, or be removed by force.” Aegis said, his voice flat and emotionless. “I do not wish for things to get violent, but I will not hesitate if the situation demands it.”
“What right,” snarled the Speaker, “do you presume to have to evict us? What possible justification do you have for forcing us to abandon our homes and our gem mines?”
Aegis produced another scroll.
“We have reports of diamond dogs capturing an innocent pony and forcing her to work in these mines. This is a breach of the conditions under which you were permitted to retain your territory, and grounds for immediate eviction.” He said, glaring at us all. I snarled in frustration, knowing all too well what incident the pony spoke of. I could remain quiet no longer.
“You blame the actions of rogues and outcasts on us!” I growled, clenching my paws and feeling the tips of my claws digging into the tough pads. “How dare you!”
“Easy there, my brother.” The Speaker said, laying a firm but gentle paw on my shoulder. “The dogs you speak of are no longer a part of this pack. They, and all who aided them, have been exiled.” He said, staring at the guards. “We have made no further contact with the residents of Ponyville, save for our traders bringing gems for sale.”
“That does not matter. Your pack allowed the crime to occur in the first place, and you must face the consequences. This land and the gems it contains are being seized as compensation for the suffering you caused.” The pony hefted an ornate but still decidedly functional spear in the grip of his magic.
The Speaker sighed, leaning heavily on his staff.
“I had hoped you would listen to reason. We will not leave our homes, not without a fight.”
He lifted the staff over his head and slammed it down, the gems flashing brightly on impact. The stone before him rose in a wave, forming a towering barrier. At the same moment, the other dogs and I fled into the caverns, collapsing the entrance as we went.
It was time to see just how far the ponies would go to remove us.
The cavern was pitch dark, all of the glowing crystals having been removed. We made our way to our stations blind, feeling our way through the tunnels. Walls groaned treacherously and loose pebbles fell to the floor.
I waited. And waited. The time passed slowly as the ponies broke into the tunnels. They lacked our ability to shape the stone, but had magic of their own. It would not be much longer.
A distant rumble. A ceiling had collapsed. I felt the change in the stone. I glanced over at Speaker, and was shocked to see that he ha abandoned his staff. He knelt on the floor, paws flat on the stone. With a gentle push, his claws sank easily into the floor. The stone began to spiral up his arms, encasing his paws up to the elbows in seamless plates of armor. He clashed his fists together with a howl and rose. As he did, the first of the ponies rounded the corner.
We charged. All of us, as one, fell upon the equine invaders. I threw punches left and right, feeling the metal of their armor buckle under my blows. A gray stallion thrust his spear at me, the pointed tip grazing my shoulder and drawing blood. I grabbed it and spun, the leverage hurling its wielder over my head. Dogs and ponies alike fell, their wounds overwhelming them. Speaker was a one-dog army, his stone-sheathed fists felling ponies on all sides. Silvery glints began to appear on the stone, the very metal of the guards' armor being drawn in and incorporated.
I hated being outdone, so I grabbed a handful of gems from my bag. Power resonated within them, and I reached out to it. I altered the flow of energy, weaving my own magic into that of the jewels. It was a simple thing to destabilize the magic, and the result was spectacular. I flung the gems at the attacking ponies, and they erupted in a fury of light and sound. The ground where they had landed was bristling with needle-sharp crystalline spikes.
“Nicely done!” A nearby dog said, grinning. “How many more of those do you have?”
“Not a lot.” I said, reaching into the bag again. “But hopefully enough.”
The unicorns among the attackers had abandoned their weapons and were fighting with their magic. Chunks of stone flew through the air, hurled with telekinesis, only to shatter harmlessly as we dodged them. Speaker didn't bother avoiding the projectiles, he simply let them break upon his armored body.
One of the unicorns apparently had some combat magic, and he began hurling bolts of destructive energy at us. The ground erupted as each blast exploded. Dogs were bowled over, their fur smoking from the power of the spells.
I threw another crystal. Brilliant light flooded the cave, and the ponies recoiled in pain. While their eyes adjusted, Speaker charged into them at full speed.
I stood over one of the downed ponies, claws extended. I grinned, looming down over him.
“You honestly thought we would let you take away our home?” I snarled. “You thought we would give up without a fight?”
“ENOUGH!” A new voice rose over the sounds of combat, as a new light filled the room. Far more brilliant than my gems, it blinded pony and diamond dog alike. Two forms appeared, silhouetted in the glow. Ponies, far taller and more graceful than the soldiers. Each sported a pair of broad wings and a long slender horn.
Princess Celestia sighed as she looked out over the massive infirmary. It had been setup in the main chamber of the diamond dog den, and occupied most of the enormous space. Ponies and dogs lay in bead, battered and bruised and cocooned in bandages.
“I knew I shouldn't have let him run the guard on his own.” Celestia said, shaking her head. “He was so eager to prove me wrong that he went completely overboard.”
“I tried to warn you, sister.” Luna said, sitting beside her fellow ruler. “Your nephew never was the brightest of ponies, and he has always tended to let power go to his head.”
In one distant corner, shunned by his troops and thoroughly scolded by the Princesses, a blond unicorn with a snow-white coat fussed over the dirt stains in his fur and on his uniform.
“Am I done being punished yet?” He called, not daring to look upon the Royal Sisters.
“Not on your life, Blueblood.” Celestia said, her voice calm but dripping with disappointment. “And put your hat back on.” Without waiting for him to comply, she levitated a conical white cap onto his head. The words 'INCOMPETENT BUFFOON' were printed on its surface.
“I do not like the cone of shame.” Blueblood said, his head drooping.
Celestia turned to me, fixing me with a look I couldn't quite comprehend.
“I'm sorry about all this.” She said, gesturing at the unusually non-lethal carnage that had taken place. “I can't believe I didn't see it coming.”
“I presume, then, that there will be no more threats of eviction?” Speaker asked, padding up behind the princess. He once again leaned heavily on his staff.
“Of course.” Celestia said, smiling. “It should never have happened in the first place.”
“All right every-dog-and-pony!” A high pitched voice cut through the dull background noise, distorted with ear-splitting microphone feedback. “Are you ready to party?!!?!”
A banner unfurled overhead reading 'The Battle is Over and Nobody Died so LET'S PARTY!!!!!” and pounding music filled the cavern. A pink pony exploded out of a towering cake that I swore hadn't been there just a moment before. Everybody apologized and laughed over punch and cake, and no-one ever spoke of the incident again.
That's how it happened, if I'm lying then let the gods strike me down where I stand. The current good relations that we diamond dogs share with our pony neighbors is all a result of an overzealous idiot leading the royal guard on a flimsily justified crusade against a species he found distasteful.
What's that? You don't believe me? Well that sounds like a personal problem. Now leave me be. This old dog needs his mid-afternoon nap.
Author's Note
So.....I wrote this over the course of maybe a couple hours total. Found out about EQD's Outside Insight writing contest, so I decided to give it a shot. Unfortunately, I only found out on the last day.
The end result is this rushed little tale. I must be honest, I spent most of the time I was writing trying to figure out why all of this happened. Blueblood's stupidity was the best answer I had.
And yeah, in my headcanon Diamond Dogs, the ones who aren't idiots, are basically earthbenders.