One Shot Alleyby Grey FaerieChaptersBehind the MirrorHome HorrorsDancing on my toesLove this VineThe lengths of CharityBehind the MirrorPinkie looked around. Could it all have been a bad dream? She looked down at the surface below herself and remembered... At first touch, the mirror pool was cool then it evaporated to a silvery void that surrounded her body. It brought back memories those mediating pods that cut off all outside senses. She had been in one just once but it was enough to last her a lifetime. Now, she was there again except it wasn't dark like in the pod. The void wasn't like normal water; it was eerie in the feeling of nothing yet clearly water when you moved. There had been no splash when she had entered either, only ripples on the surface of a mirror. Her eyes opened to a light that was too bright for a moment. Her eyes adjusted then opened wide to attempt to take in the massive expanse below her. It was a blinding white milky view that was also somehow clear. Her body twitched and she looked up. There she was! Only, there were two of her. They looked so happy. One walked off and the other looked at the pool. She waved happily at her other self. A movement caught her eye and she gasped at the swirl of the pool's substance became a milky cloud until it reached the surface threshold. It broke the surface and formed a hoof. Her other pulled it out. Soon, many other hers were staring down at the pool and pulling out a form. Pinkie smiled. She felt so happy and warm even though she couldn't understand why. Her eyes started to droop. Everything was so milky and turning silvery and strange. Her body relaxed in the pool of substance like a comfee bed lauding her to sleep. But before she completely closed her eyes, her body shuttered violently. She convulsed over and over again. Pinkie screamed into the empty void. Everything was white. It was soundless. Finally, the convulsing stopped. Pinkie tried to catch her breath as she shook. She grit her teeth and curled up into a ball. It was over. It was over and strangely clearer. Her thoughts came back to her like a pin dropping in an empty room. Where am I? What's going on? She looked around. Nothing. It was all nothing. She reached out a hoof and tried to touch one of the swirling bit of substance around her. It dissolved before she even got near it. It was like it wasn't really there to begin with. She felt very light in the water. Pinkie moved her limbs and found she could in fact, swim. She pursed her lips and looked around for anything that might be a point of reference. Where is that light coming from anyway? Pinkie looked towards the far end of the void. There was a light coming from there so she swam toward it. She continued to swim to it. Pinkie paddled harder then softer then harder again. It was ages. She looked back to find herself still in the endless void. There was nothing there. The light was in front of her but then...it was behind? No, it was below. Wa-wait! It's, it's... Where is this? Pinkie's feel a shuttering in her mind. There was nothing. Just white, clear, silvery milky substance. But how could it be all that? And yet, not at all? Pinkie wrapped her arms around her trembling shoulders. She twisted her head around ever which way. Her wide eyes stared into the void, straining to find anything. But, there was nothing. A cold and empty feeling mirroring the void outside of herself filled her from within. It was like touching a mirror on a cold morning. Where were her insides? Where are they? She raked her hooves across her chest. There was no wound yet she was empty. Where were they? Pinkie clutched her head. Where am I?! There was no sound in the water, not a single ripple crossed the surface. It was dark and hollow in the cave above. That hollow air screamed across space to her. It converged onto the surface of the pool trying to snuff it out... or was it trying to break it? Pinkie looked up. There was the world staring right down at her. Pinkie frantically swam to the surface. She pressed onto the water tension until her hooves throbbed. She pounded on the water. "I just...I want out. Let me out! Please, someone!!" Pinkie drew in her breaths as if fighting through a smoking building, coughing and hacking and swallowing. "I want my friends. I want my family. The Cakes too. Just anyone, please." Her head laid gently on the surface. The world stared down at her and blinked. Pinkie blinked right back. Sunshine wavered on her skin as all of Ponyville floated beneath her. There was all her friends, the Cakes too! She pressed onto the surface and called out to them. They were walking right passed her! She screamed and ran along with them but they never stopped. Pinkie stopped and breathed. Slowly, she turned her head to the windows of the buildings beside her. Why are the words all backwards? Her eyes widened as did her mouth. It's like looking into a mirror. Pinkie pressed her face to the surface. She hit the mirror's surface once. Then Pinkie started to laugh. She laughed and laughed till her stomach hurt. "It's like a mirror! It's just like I'm seeing everything from a mirror. Everything." She laid down onto the surface and looked down. She watched the Cakes walk away. More ponies walked by her. Pinkie thought of her friends and there they were. She was looking up now from the cup of tea on Twilight's desk. She moved over to the tank of water by Spike. Pinkie gasped and jumped up. There she was! Standing by the coffee table. Only, that wasn't really her. "No! No! I'm here! I'm here Twilight. I'm in the mirror pool. That's not me. That's not me. Please. That's...I'm here, the real me." Pinkie pressed her head into the surface and wept. "I'm here." Her cheeks would dry, the water of the pool having mixed with her tears and flowed away. The only sound had been her weeping. The other her looked so happy. She laughed with Twilight and Spike about a frosting accident. Was that how she looked to everyone else? No wonder they were all her friends. Pinkie looked to the mirror. She smiled and chuckled. She could watched them, all their laughter and tears. Pinkie propped herself up. She would always be able to watch them. So better get comfortable. Author's Note Pinkie entered the mirror pool, so who welcomed the first clone? This was fixed up on 6/25/15. From a reviewer (can't remember the name) from the original post date: 103-A: Behind the Mirror A nice, solid bit of darkfic about the Pool of Mirrors, which some of you may know is one of my favorite plot hooks, and Too Many Pinkie Pies is one of my favorite episodes. It’s a very clever take on the idea, and doesn’t usually get too overwrought on the emotions. That said, sometimes Pinkie is a bit too dramatic when thinking aloud, and the ending could have been stronger. (3/5) Home Horrors"So, you know what Friday is! Movie night!" Twilight's new castle rang out with her cheers. Spike rolled his eyes at her as he put away a book from on top a tall ladder. "Who's all coming? I need to know if I'm going to have a rocking party platter ready." Twilight tapped her lips, "Hmm, I think all the girls, you and ugh, Discord." "What's wrong with Discord?" he laughed. "Nothing, I just don't know what kind of weird movie he might want to see." She pulled a face and walked around the ladder. "Hey! You don't know that. The last time me, him and Big Mac had a guy's movie night he brought over this cool movie about an alien invasion. Most of his movies are weird but good." Spike posed and nodded his head very knowledgeably. Twilight took her turn to roll her eyes, "I can only hope." She picked up more books and floated them up to Spike. "I think Gummy liked the movie too. I couldn't really tell but Pinkie assured me he did." Spike picked up another book off the pile. "It's still hard to wrap my head around you all hanging out like that." She looked over some papers stuck into one of the books. He puffed out his chest, "We males have got to stick together. Especially in a town like Ponyville where the females out number us two to one." Twilight couldn't help but snort. "Fine, fine, I'm going to the den. There's some built in shelves I need to fill up." "What should we watch then?" Twilight asked. The movie room had bookcases on the back wall next to the door. Tables lined the wall opposite the door. A couch was placed nearer to the wall on the far side of the room. A large TV took up most of that wall. Pillows and sleeping bags laid on the floor in between the couch and TV. An assortment of movies were piled on the floor in front of them. Rainbow Dash and Applejack argued whether western movies counted as action or adventure while Rarity and Fluttershy talked about documentaries. Pinkie bounced in with Spike and all the food. "I don't know," Pinkie shrugged. "Ooo, pudding." "Let's choose a horror movie." Discord's face grew dark as he grinned from the couch. They all stopped and stared at him. "You have a few choices. The Return of the Night-mare, Sawhorse, Curse of the Cutie Mark, Foal's play, and my favorite, The Shining. Not to be confused with Twilight's dorky brother." "Hey! He's not dorky." "We play D&D in his war room." Discord gave her a dead stare. "You... how many of my friends are you friends with around here?" Twilight scrunched her brows. Discord stretched out on the couch and leaned on his hand, "Weellll, it's not like you are just jumping at the chance to hang out with me. Besides, he's a level sixty healer and you don't find those very often." "Nightmare on Flank Street," Pinkie read. Rarity choked on her soda. "Oh! How did that get in there? We'll save that for later." He winked and snapped up the case. "You're invited too Rarity." She attempted to snort only to recoil in pain from the lingering soda bubbles. "No thanks," Rarity stated once she regained her composure. "Is that popcorn?" Discord asked. He looked at the large bowl Pinkie was holding. "Yeah, I've got some more in another bowl over on the table." "Oh goody, cause this needs some spicing up. Or sweetening really." He snapped his fingers and marsh mellows melted over the popcorn. "That's better!" "Aww, I'm going to get all sticky." Pinkie half complained. She put some in her mouth on the way to the couch. "The Shining shows good. What's it about?" Applejack said. "A haunted hotel and a guy going nuts from it." "Ooo, sounds cool." "Here's Jackie!" The ponies sat frozen in position. The movie had turned out scarier than they expected. Fluttershy was resting peacefully behind the couch after knocking out cold right after the flood of blood in the hallway scene and no one had the heart to wake her up. They all agreed a nice short nature documentary would be good afterwards. Twilight felt a breeze on her shoulder. She didn't want to be ridiculous and panic over a bit of AC turning on. Only, the breeze felt warm. She peeked over her shoulder. The door was slightly ajar. Don't be silly Twilight. It was left ajar from when Spike went to get a refill of soda. Though we all know it was actually to take a break from the movie. She laughed to herself. The warm breeze came again. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up. It was like that feeling of someone hovering their hoof over your skin. You could feel the static of them being so close. Two hands skimmed down her shoulders. "Here's Jackie," a voice crept out. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Twilight jumped a foot in the air and landed right in Discord's lap, clinging to him for dear life. "So forward!" he said, under all the screaming. Fluttershy jolted awake and screamed as well though she didn't know why. The girls all up in a knotted pile of petrified ponies and screaming voices. "What in the hay is going on!!?" Applejack yelled. They were still shaking and freaked out as maniacal laughter could be heard. "Such a wuss." Spike shook his head. "You! I can't believe you!" Twilight didn't even notice Discord attempting to pry her off. "Ooo, Twilight's in love," he snickered. Twilight reddened in both embarrassment and anger. She slide back into her seat and huffed at him. "And you thought I was too young for the movie!" "That wasn't cool," Rainbow spoke from under Applejack's arm. "Hey, it was funny from where I was standing," he covered his mouth and laughed. "Jerk, come sit down." Twilight won't admit it but it was a little funny. "You got me good." Spike snuggled in next to her, "I got all of you good! Sooo, what are we going to watch afterwards? I don't think I can sleep tonight." Author's Note Fixed up. I even took out my self insert cause it didn't work if you don't read some of my other stories. 103-B: Home Horrors The talking heads here reach the point of distraction, and the writing is pretty consistently awkward in the dialogue, as well. In the second scene, there’s a barrage of pony puns on movie titles, and the only one that really works is “Sawhorse”. The rest all kinda fall flat. The spelling and grammar could use work throughout, and the random insertion of the author’s OC was pointless. You’re never going to endear your audience to a character who’s introduced with “Oh, that’s (author_name). You know (mane_six_name)’s best friend from (other_town)?” (1/5) Dancing on my toesTwilight tried to block out the percussion of the music in the room. She was looking at a rather complicated set of steps in one of her books. It was vitally necessary that she learned the contents of the book if she wasn't to make a fool of herself at her own ball to celebrate her new castle and the defeat of Tirek. Twilight held up the book closer to her face as if it would help her to understand the picture better only to audibly groan. "What's wrong?" Rarity said from one of the couches. They were in one of the rooms in Twilight's new castle with the two couches pushed into a corner. A table nearby held the main system from which the speakers were controlled. "I just don't get it! It's so, so, complicated." Twilight groaned again as she pulled at her face. Pinkie Pie, who was on the other couch with Discord, spoke up. "Well duh, you can't learn to dance from a book alone, silly. It takes practice!" She gave a flare of the hoof. Twilight grimaced and huddled a little closer to the book.. "I think I should at least understand the basic principles before moving on to the testing stage." Rarity shook her head. "Tsk, horse apples. Pinkie is right, oddly enough. Dancing can only be properly learned through practice. You can read all you want about how to fly but that won't help you flap your wings. You should know that from experience." She pointed out. "Now, come on. Let's dance." Rarity got up from the couch and walked over to the stereo. The music changed to something with a beat that's easier to follow. Twilight bit her lip for a moment then got up herself. "It's simple, darling! It's all about working with the music. Move your body to the beat. Sway with the crescendos." The white unicorn started to sway in an elegant waltz as she spoke. Twilight tried to move her feet along with Rarity. It started out okay until Rarity forgot about letting Twilight follow the movements and moved around in one of her fantasies. Twilight thought to herself as Rarity started to sway around the room humming to herself, Hmm, this shouldn't be too hard. Just follow the beat. "Hmm, hm, hmmmm, ahh! What are you doing?" Rarity opened her eyes when something bumped into her. It was her friend doing what could only be described at a cross between hopscotch and stretching out a cramp. Twilight looked at her innocently, "But you said to move to the music!" "Yes, but not like that!" Rarity blushed at the outburst. "Let's start over and please, never do that... jig, again." She gave up after ten minutes. "I'm sorry." Twilight said. "It's okay! Really. I just don't think I'm the right teacher for you." Rarity waved her hoof dismissively and collapsed on the couch in a dramatic fashion. "Yeah! It's like that time with Rainbow Dash! Only she learns weirdly." Pinkie had taken the chance while Twilight was practicing to dance around with Discord. She was currently being draped over Discord's arm before being pulled back up and spun in a blur. She was caught in a second then danced on like she hadn't just been spun like a top. Twilight grumbled. She had tried to forget those two were here as the danced around so perfectly. She remembered their, unnecessarily, elaborate ice skating performance at Winter Wrap up. Did ice cutting really need that many lifts? It took her two hours to get everyone back to work and not wandering over to see what they were doing next. "Maybe Dizzy can help you." Pinkie said. "Can you do it?" She asked when Discord pulled her flush to him. "Hmm, I don't know. Dancing is like a skill some are just born with." He replied with an upturned nose and side stepped with Pinkie. Twilight facepalmed. This would take some blows to her pride. "Please? I need to know this." "Ooo, a please." Discord's lips curled upwards." Alright then." He curled and uncurled Pinkie from him one last time and they posed to sound of an audience of clapping. He bowed several times and blew kisses to the empty room. Pinkie giggled and trotted off to the couches. "No no, step there, Ow! There, not my foot. Step step ouch! Try to at least step anywhere but my foot. A whole entire empty floor and you find my hoof." Discord whispered the last part with a strong ting of annoyance. If Twilight was so smart, why couldn't she understand a simple waltz? Step, step, turn. The basics! "How about we try individual dancing for a moment?" Twilight sighed and nodded in such a down trotted way the he felt a punch of guilt. He also felt the pain in his toes. Discord sat on the floor and rubbed his poor abused feet. He looked up at her, "Well? Dance! Practice on your own for a moment." What came next frightened him a little. "What the tartarus is that?" "I'm, um, dancing?" Twilight responded. "Is that a question or a statement?" He deadpanned. Stupid cute girlfriends and their left-footed friends. Why am I even trying to help this boring pony learn to dance? "A statement?" she said in the same questioning tone. Discord responded by rubbed his face with both hands. Twilight sat on the ground looking near to tears. Rarity and Pinkie peeked up from the catalogs they were searching through for ideas for their dresses. "It's okay Twilight! Pinkie called out. "You don't need to dance. You can just say you're still tired from the move." Twilight hiccuped and rubbed her cheeks. Discord grimaced from his spot on the floor and yelled,"This is stupid! Can't you just use a spell? You were so keen on using a reforming spell on me before instead of doing it the hard way. Use a spell. Even if it's just for one night." Twilight sat on the ground and look at the ceiling, "I don't want to do that. I want to learn. It wouldn't be the same." Discord scratched his head. What to do? What to do. "Let's just call it a night. Sometimes it's like a good massage. You can only work the muscles so much before you overwork them. We'll continue this tomorrow." He said. "Okay." Twilight nodded. Discord sat on the sidelines of the ball with Pinkie as the opening dance started. Pinkie would look up at him and smile. He returned it with only a hint of pain from his poor, poor toes. They looked out over the dancefloor to where Twilight was spun around by her brother. Shining had come all the way out just to celebrate his sister's triumph. "Wow, when did you learn to dance? I would have already been sidelined by now from you stepping on my hooves." Shining laughed. "Well, it took a week and a good friend to learn. But here I am!" Author's Note Fixed this one up too. 103-C: Dancing on my toes More talking heads, which creates some confusion this time. At first, it seems like Twilight and Rarity are the only ones present, but Rarity’s speech is entirely out-of-character for her. It’s only after a few hundred words of totally-unattributed dialogue that we learn Pinkie and Discord are present, and would presumably be the sources of those OOC lines. After that, the story again has a number of spelling/grammar problems, particularly choppy writing and telling, until the sudden wrap-up kills any humor or forward momentum the story had going for it. (1/5) Love this Vine"Clean up the vines Discord!" He mocked. "Sure, I'll clean up the vines. I'll put them in your house." Discord walked down the road in Ponyville. The vines were still everywhere. Crawling into windows, through doorways, and just tangling over everything. "Hey you! Shoo! Go to the Everfree Forest." Discord put his hands on his hips. The vines seemed to look at him. They creeped back from their spots and over to him. Discord eyed them warily. It had been a long time since he had first planted them. One vine in particular stretched out to him. He crossed his arms and glared at it. The greenery drooped a little before wrapping around him. Discord when stiff. Then it...nuzzled him? Metaphoric hearts came off the vine as it hugged him. Discord sighed heavily at it. "Now, now. You have to go. No amount of sucking up to me will get you to stay." It recoiled and slinked away, the hearts breaking. Discord frowned at the display. "I don't mean to hurt you. It's just that you are making a mess." It turned back to look at him. Question marks popped up. "This is were ponies live. You have to go live in the Everfree Forest. That way." He pointed. It looked at the darkened forest. The vine gave off exclamation points and crawled back to the center of town. Most of the other vines did as well. Soon, they recoiled enough until they were five stout vine plants. The five all wrapped around each other in hugs. Discord put his hand over his heart and got teary eyed. He walked over to pet them. "Don't be afraid! It's not that scary." He looked at the forest, it looked even darker with glowing eyes and shaking bushes. "Okay, maybe it's a little scary but you're big strong vines." Metaphoric tears ran down their fronts. "Don't cry! Here, have some tea. How about we talk about this?" The vines looked at the cups. They picked them up and dumped the tea on the ground in small 'sips'. He smiled at them. "You can't stay here in Ponyville and it's only fitting that you go to the forest to be with all the other weird plant creatures." They rived around in fear with shrieks only Discord can hear. "It's going to be fine! I promise. I'll even go with you to find you a new home." Discord got up and walked to the forest. They looked at each other then crawled after him. The forest was shaded heavily even at full noon with strange noises coming from nowhere and shaking from plants. Discord tried to looked happy for them but it was hard. The forest looked so creepy. "See, not so bad," He smiled gleefully at them. "This looks like a good spot." The clearing did look nice. The vines stretched out to feel around when a huge rat creature jumped out of a bush and attacked one vine. The vine screamed in terror and pain. Discord lunged at the thing and tore it off the vine. He then threw it over the trees. The other vines quickly wrapped around him in fear. "Okay! Okay! I get it. It's too creepy in here." Discord looked up at the sky in thought. "I guess I can sneak you to the Canterlot Gardens." The vines constricted him in sheer joy and repeatedly slam him on the ground. "I love you too. Now, let's go." He heaved out of his poor abused lungs. Sneaking into the gardens wasn't that hard, though finding a spot for them was more so. They didn't like too much sun, or shade or water and didn't want to be among too many other plants. "Just find a spot already before we get caught!" Discord whispered. He was peeking his head out from behind a garden wall. They shrunk back before crawling out to a new plot of land. The vines twisted around but ended up shrieking about how they didn't like it. Discord grumbled. After looking for any guards, he escorted them out to a new section of land. They complained about too much grass. "Oh come on! You were all over Ponyville. Why can't you just settle down now?" One vine whipped around adamantly. "I get it. You didn't like it there either and really, you were looking for a spot." Discord rubbed his forehead. Children. So indecisive. A couple of guards walked pass the section they were in. Discord scoped up the moving vines and turned invisible. He then carried them to a picnic area. They crawled around like worms across the weathered grounds. One vine laid the top part of itself on the table as if face planting. Discord stared at them with a hint of sadness. They grow up so fast. "Let's go somewhere else huh? How about where I used be?" That seemed to peak their interest. They all snuck around avoiding the guards until they were where Discord used to stand. The empty pedestal looked so ordinary without Discord standing on top. Before, he mused, it was a thing of wonder. How sad it looks now. The vines crawled over and wiggled around the base. They planted themselves into the dirt. Greenery now clung to the white stone bringing it that lost sense of wonder. The vines looked so happy there. Discord gave them one last pat and ran off back to Ponyville. Later on, Celestia would be called out to the gardens about 'renegade plants' whipping passing ponies on the behind and stealing items like hats and bags. She could just hear the chuckling in the background when she found out where it was happening. Author's Note 103-E: Love this Vine Telling is the biggest problem with this one, constantly having symbols like question marks or hearts appear over the heads of the vine creatures to express their emotions, and then also going to to describe them doing things “in fear” or “in confusion”, etc. It also feels out-of-character for Discord, who’s being surprisingly kind and considerate. Misspelled words are very frequent, and once again a rushed ending makes it feel like the author forced the story to a close because they got tired of writing it, rather than reaching a natural ending point. (1/5) The lengths of Charity"...is all nice and dandy but I think purple just isn't the right color for a bucket." Rarity said. The girls were all on the fields west of the lake for a picnic. Rarity looked into a mirror running a hoof over her hair. "Oh to think it'll be gone soon." She said with a bit of mourning. "What does that mean?" Pinkie asked. She pulled her head out of the bowl for the potato salad. "I'm going to be getting it cut." Pinkie smacked her lips. "Mmm, but why would that make you sad?" The bowl was empty but Fluttershy pushed the leftovers of her plate to Pinkie. She beamed and gobbled it down. "On Wednesday is the annual Charity Cut-Off. It's an event where ponies sit up on a stage and get their hair cut really short. The length donated is then used for wigs for cancer patients. I had been thinking for a while now if I should do it. And I have." "You have? You're going to do the cut-off?" Twilight looked up from the game of checkers she was playing with Applejack. "It all started when Miss Tardis came into my shop the other day. She had the cutest hair cut. She was telling me all about her cousin that had gotten sick and how they all shaved their heads to support her. They had donated the hair to make wigs. She told me how proud she was when her cousin got the wig made from her hair! Such generosity. And in a fabulous way. So I had decide to do it. Short hair can be so fashionable. What is keeping me from doing it?" "Wow. That does make sense." Rainbow shrugged. She was up in the tree. She had lost the fight over the leftover potato salad with Pinkie. "It is very you." Twilight said. "Is there any length your hair has to be to enter?" "Are you thinking of signing up?" Rarity was a little amazed. Twilight lightly blushed. "It is a nice thing to do. It's also something a princess like myself should be doing as a role model." "Why don't you all sign up? It'll be great publicity for the charity to have the Elements and the new princess joining in. The hair stylist is even going to be Shear Edge! Can you believe it?" Twilight The stage for the charity event had a good sized audience that day. Twilight remembered how happy the coordinator had been. She guessed Rarity was right in her comments about good publicity. The line for the booth to sign up was pretty decent by her standards. When the lengths fell from her head, Twilight felt a strange sense of lightest. She had never cut her hair before. As long as she could remember, it's always been long. The crowd cheered when the stylist held up the hair. He put it in a shallow bucket and proceeded to trim her hair to a proper style. He held up the mirror. She gasped. It looked great! She beamed. Twilight shook her hair as she walked off stage. It was more like a shorter version of her normal style but she loved it all the same. Spike chuckled and played with the bobbed hair. "It's nice." "Thanks." "And no more clogged drains." "Hey!" Rainbow Dash It had been weird sitting up in front of a crowd just for a hair cut. But then again, Rainbow had only ever cut her hair in front of the mirror in her bathroom. The stylist, some fancy pony apparently, pulled her hair back into a ponytail like he did with Twilight. "How short will you be comfortable with?" he asked. "Eh, I don't really care. Just make sure I look cool." "Cool." He smiled. It was both agreement and reassurance. The dull part of the blade ran a chill down her spine when he cut. She knew he wasn't going to cut her but her body still reacted. He held up the length and a cheer rang up. She laughed. Now this is what she's used to! He didn't touch her bangs so much as just trimming them. He pulled out a hair clipper and trimmed close to her scalp on the back. The cool air felt good. He held up the mirror. Her eyes widened. She felt..strangely feminine. The cut was so..cute? She reddened. Didn't girls look girlier with long hair? She shrugged and joined Twilight off stage. Pinkie She knew the power of laughter. It lifted spirits and brightened lives. Even ones that were ending. Pinkie had a set schedule and contact with the hospital for bi-monthly visits. They paid well but the biggest pay off to her was seeing the ponies smile again. The greyness receded from their faces after Pinkie walked into the room. Yet, as much as she loved bringing joy to others, she felt a sense of selfishness. She loved her bouncy hair. She was quite proud of it. She probably took as much care of it as Rarity did her's. The lengths fell and pulled away with every snip. Pinkie tried to imagine the thought of somepony out there with a wig of her curly hair. Oh the things it could do! They'll be the luckiest pony around. Maybe it'll become so heirloom passed down. Or the magic wig at the hospital that brought good fortune to the wear! Pinkie looked into the mirror. Her smile felt plastic. "Ooo, nice." She held back bitter tears as she joined her friends. Applejack AJ was a practical pony. Hair is hair. It grows back just like the trees after winter. She had only the mildest of thoughts on it. Long hair was nice and all but it's also not necessity on a working farm. She just let it grow and trimmed it to keep it from getting too long. She took off her hat. The stallion took out her hairband and out it aside. Applejack looked at her hair one last time before he pulled it back. She really thought about it. She did like her hair. It reminded her of sunshine. Of yellow corn. Wide fields of grain. Long days of applebucking caused it to collect with sweat, yet, it smelled of harvest. The sweet apple smell and grass. Dirt as well but she didn't mind. Only the best dirt smelled the worst. She loved it when she smelled of dirt. It just means a good day's work was done. The bucket held her hair now like the legendary golden apple bucked from its branch. He tied her hair back up. She looked into the mirror. It reminded her of the hay in the barn. She would lay in the piles after a day of bucking and often, her and Big Mac would lay there resting, telling jokes and stories. "My appreciations." She left the stage with an odd new sense of connection to her hair. Fluttershy "Are you sure about this?" "Yes." "Do you want short or longer?" "Um, what ever you think." "Your hair is so long already. I bet we could make two wigs with it haha." "Yeah." "How do you like it? Good?" "Yes." "But do you like it?" "It's fine." Fluttershy walked off the stage. The long bangs didn't cover much of her face anymore. Did that make her more open? To what? She rubbed a hoof on it. It's too late now. But did she like it? She wasn't sure at all to be honest. It was just..different. Rarity Rarity beamed and strutted onto stage. "Thank you all for being here!" She waved to the crowd. She stopped to blow a kiss to one serpentine dragon in the back. He caught it and laughed. "This means so much to me and all of crew here from the hospital. Your donations will brighten the lives of patients here at our own wards and wards across Equestria." After a bit of fanfare, she sat on the chair. "Do your thing." She winked. Shear laughed. Rarity was smiling and waving to the crowd as he cut her precious locks away. The crowd went nuts when he held up the filled bucket. She clapped her own hooves. He handed her the mirror. "Oh Shear!" Rarity exclaimed. "It looks fabulous!" She played with the leftover locks. They hugged. Rarity waved and blew more kisses to the crowd as she left the stage. The girls all stood in a circle by the stage. They each played with or commented on their new hair cuts. It was a good day. Author's Note by schnuffitrunks on deviantart. This story was inspired by this picture and similar ones where they have short hair. 103-H: The lengths of Charity This one speaks in support of donation programs like “Locks of Love”, but not to the extent that Ianpiersonjdavis’s story “Fluttershy Donates Blood” promotes its form of charity. The focus here seems to instead be on the feelings each of the mane six have about losing most of their manes, and the problems come in how those are presented. In what I’m sure is just a sign of rushed writing, all of them are pretty telly, while also failing to explore those emotions to any great length, even when the story warrants it. For example, Pinkie clearly had the worst reaction to it, but we really only get to see that she’s putting on a false smile. Everything deeper than that is left out. (2/5)
Behind the MirrorPinkie looked around. Could it all have been a bad dream? She looked down at the surface below herself and remembered... At first touch, the mirror pool was cool then it evaporated to a silvery void that surrounded her body. It brought back memories those mediating pods that cut off all outside senses. She had been in one just once but it was enough to last her a lifetime. Now, she was there again except it wasn't dark like in the pod. The void wasn't like normal water; it was eerie in the feeling of nothing yet clearly water when you moved. There had been no splash when she had entered either, only ripples on the surface of a mirror. Her eyes opened to a light that was too bright for a moment. Her eyes adjusted then opened wide to attempt to take in the massive expanse below her. It was a blinding white milky view that was also somehow clear. Her body twitched and she looked up. There she was! Only, there were two of her. They looked so happy. One walked off and the other looked at the pool. She waved happily at her other self. A movement caught her eye and she gasped at the swirl of the pool's substance became a milky cloud until it reached the surface threshold. It broke the surface and formed a hoof. Her other pulled it out. Soon, many other hers were staring down at the pool and pulling out a form. Pinkie smiled. She felt so happy and warm even though she couldn't understand why. Her eyes started to droop. Everything was so milky and turning silvery and strange. Her body relaxed in the pool of substance like a comfee bed lauding her to sleep. But before she completely closed her eyes, her body shuttered violently. She convulsed over and over again. Pinkie screamed into the empty void. Everything was white. It was soundless. Finally, the convulsing stopped. Pinkie tried to catch her breath as she shook. She grit her teeth and curled up into a ball. It was over. It was over and strangely clearer. Her thoughts came back to her like a pin dropping in an empty room. Where am I? What's going on? She looked around. Nothing. It was all nothing. She reached out a hoof and tried to touch one of the swirling bit of substance around her. It dissolved before she even got near it. It was like it wasn't really there to begin with. She felt very light in the water. Pinkie moved her limbs and found she could in fact, swim. She pursed her lips and looked around for anything that might be a point of reference. Where is that light coming from anyway? Pinkie looked towards the far end of the void. There was a light coming from there so she swam toward it. She continued to swim to it. Pinkie paddled harder then softer then harder again. It was ages. She looked back to find herself still in the endless void. There was nothing there. The light was in front of her but then...it was behind? No, it was below. Wa-wait! It's, it's... Where is this? Pinkie's feel a shuttering in her mind. There was nothing. Just white, clear, silvery milky substance. But how could it be all that? And yet, not at all? Pinkie wrapped her arms around her trembling shoulders. She twisted her head around ever which way. Her wide eyes stared into the void, straining to find anything. But, there was nothing. A cold and empty feeling mirroring the void outside of herself filled her from within. It was like touching a mirror on a cold morning. Where were her insides? Where are they? She raked her hooves across her chest. There was no wound yet she was empty. Where were they? Pinkie clutched her head. Where am I?! There was no sound in the water, not a single ripple crossed the surface. It was dark and hollow in the cave above. That hollow air screamed across space to her. It converged onto the surface of the pool trying to snuff it out... or was it trying to break it? Pinkie looked up. There was the world staring right down at her. Pinkie frantically swam to the surface. She pressed onto the water tension until her hooves throbbed. She pounded on the water. "I just...I want out. Let me out! Please, someone!!" Pinkie drew in her breaths as if fighting through a smoking building, coughing and hacking and swallowing. "I want my friends. I want my family. The Cakes too. Just anyone, please." Her head laid gently on the surface. The world stared down at her and blinked. Pinkie blinked right back. Sunshine wavered on her skin as all of Ponyville floated beneath her. There was all her friends, the Cakes too! She pressed onto the surface and called out to them. They were walking right passed her! She screamed and ran along with them but they never stopped. Pinkie stopped and breathed. Slowly, she turned her head to the windows of the buildings beside her. Why are the words all backwards? Her eyes widened as did her mouth. It's like looking into a mirror. Pinkie pressed her face to the surface. She hit the mirror's surface once. Then Pinkie started to laugh. She laughed and laughed till her stomach hurt. "It's like a mirror! It's just like I'm seeing everything from a mirror. Everything." She laid down onto the surface and looked down. She watched the Cakes walk away. More ponies walked by her. Pinkie thought of her friends and there they were. She was looking up now from the cup of tea on Twilight's desk. She moved over to the tank of water by Spike. Pinkie gasped and jumped up. There she was! Standing by the coffee table. Only, that wasn't really her. "No! No! I'm here! I'm here Twilight. I'm in the mirror pool. That's not me. That's not me. Please. That's...I'm here, the real me." Pinkie pressed her head into the surface and wept. "I'm here." Her cheeks would dry, the water of the pool having mixed with her tears and flowed away. The only sound had been her weeping. The other her looked so happy. She laughed with Twilight and Spike about a frosting accident. Was that how she looked to everyone else? No wonder they were all her friends. Pinkie looked to the mirror. She smiled and chuckled. She could watched them, all their laughter and tears. Pinkie propped herself up. She would always be able to watch them. So better get comfortable. Author's Note Pinkie entered the mirror pool, so who welcomed the first clone? This was fixed up on 6/25/15. From a reviewer (can't remember the name) from the original post date: 103-A: Behind the Mirror A nice, solid bit of darkfic about the Pool of Mirrors, which some of you may know is one of my favorite plot hooks, and Too Many Pinkie Pies is one of my favorite episodes. It’s a very clever take on the idea, and doesn’t usually get too overwrought on the emotions. That said, sometimes Pinkie is a bit too dramatic when thinking aloud, and the ending could have been stronger. (3/5)
Home Horrors"So, you know what Friday is! Movie night!" Twilight's new castle rang out with her cheers. Spike rolled his eyes at her as he put away a book from on top a tall ladder. "Who's all coming? I need to know if I'm going to have a rocking party platter ready." Twilight tapped her lips, "Hmm, I think all the girls, you and ugh, Discord." "What's wrong with Discord?" he laughed. "Nothing, I just don't know what kind of weird movie he might want to see." She pulled a face and walked around the ladder. "Hey! You don't know that. The last time me, him and Big Mac had a guy's movie night he brought over this cool movie about an alien invasion. Most of his movies are weird but good." Spike posed and nodded his head very knowledgeably. Twilight took her turn to roll her eyes, "I can only hope." She picked up more books and floated them up to Spike. "I think Gummy liked the movie too. I couldn't really tell but Pinkie assured me he did." Spike picked up another book off the pile. "It's still hard to wrap my head around you all hanging out like that." She looked over some papers stuck into one of the books. He puffed out his chest, "We males have got to stick together. Especially in a town like Ponyville where the females out number us two to one." Twilight couldn't help but snort. "Fine, fine, I'm going to the den. There's some built in shelves I need to fill up." "What should we watch then?" Twilight asked. The movie room had bookcases on the back wall next to the door. Tables lined the wall opposite the door. A couch was placed nearer to the wall on the far side of the room. A large TV took up most of that wall. Pillows and sleeping bags laid on the floor in between the couch and TV. An assortment of movies were piled on the floor in front of them. Rainbow Dash and Applejack argued whether western movies counted as action or adventure while Rarity and Fluttershy talked about documentaries. Pinkie bounced in with Spike and all the food. "I don't know," Pinkie shrugged. "Ooo, pudding." "Let's choose a horror movie." Discord's face grew dark as he grinned from the couch. They all stopped and stared at him. "You have a few choices. The Return of the Night-mare, Sawhorse, Curse of the Cutie Mark, Foal's play, and my favorite, The Shining. Not to be confused with Twilight's dorky brother." "Hey! He's not dorky." "We play D&D in his war room." Discord gave her a dead stare. "You... how many of my friends are you friends with around here?" Twilight scrunched her brows. Discord stretched out on the couch and leaned on his hand, "Weellll, it's not like you are just jumping at the chance to hang out with me. Besides, he's a level sixty healer and you don't find those very often." "Nightmare on Flank Street," Pinkie read. Rarity choked on her soda. "Oh! How did that get in there? We'll save that for later." He winked and snapped up the case. "You're invited too Rarity." She attempted to snort only to recoil in pain from the lingering soda bubbles. "No thanks," Rarity stated once she regained her composure. "Is that popcorn?" Discord asked. He looked at the large bowl Pinkie was holding. "Yeah, I've got some more in another bowl over on the table." "Oh goody, cause this needs some spicing up. Or sweetening really." He snapped his fingers and marsh mellows melted over the popcorn. "That's better!" "Aww, I'm going to get all sticky." Pinkie half complained. She put some in her mouth on the way to the couch. "The Shining shows good. What's it about?" Applejack said. "A haunted hotel and a guy going nuts from it." "Ooo, sounds cool." "Here's Jackie!" The ponies sat frozen in position. The movie had turned out scarier than they expected. Fluttershy was resting peacefully behind the couch after knocking out cold right after the flood of blood in the hallway scene and no one had the heart to wake her up. They all agreed a nice short nature documentary would be good afterwards. Twilight felt a breeze on her shoulder. She didn't want to be ridiculous and panic over a bit of AC turning on. Only, the breeze felt warm. She peeked over her shoulder. The door was slightly ajar. Don't be silly Twilight. It was left ajar from when Spike went to get a refill of soda. Though we all know it was actually to take a break from the movie. She laughed to herself. The warm breeze came again. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up. It was like that feeling of someone hovering their hoof over your skin. You could feel the static of them being so close. Two hands skimmed down her shoulders. "Here's Jackie," a voice crept out. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Twilight jumped a foot in the air and landed right in Discord's lap, clinging to him for dear life. "So forward!" he said, under all the screaming. Fluttershy jolted awake and screamed as well though she didn't know why. The girls all up in a knotted pile of petrified ponies and screaming voices. "What in the hay is going on!!?" Applejack yelled. They were still shaking and freaked out as maniacal laughter could be heard. "Such a wuss." Spike shook his head. "You! I can't believe you!" Twilight didn't even notice Discord attempting to pry her off. "Ooo, Twilight's in love," he snickered. Twilight reddened in both embarrassment and anger. She slide back into her seat and huffed at him. "And you thought I was too young for the movie!" "That wasn't cool," Rainbow spoke from under Applejack's arm. "Hey, it was funny from where I was standing," he covered his mouth and laughed. "Jerk, come sit down." Twilight won't admit it but it was a little funny. "You got me good." Spike snuggled in next to her, "I got all of you good! Sooo, what are we going to watch afterwards? I don't think I can sleep tonight." Author's Note Fixed up. I even took out my self insert cause it didn't work if you don't read some of my other stories. 103-B: Home Horrors The talking heads here reach the point of distraction, and the writing is pretty consistently awkward in the dialogue, as well. In the second scene, there’s a barrage of pony puns on movie titles, and the only one that really works is “Sawhorse”. The rest all kinda fall flat. The spelling and grammar could use work throughout, and the random insertion of the author’s OC was pointless. You’re never going to endear your audience to a character who’s introduced with “Oh, that’s (author_name). You know (mane_six_name)’s best friend from (other_town)?” (1/5)
Dancing on my toesTwilight tried to block out the percussion of the music in the room. She was looking at a rather complicated set of steps in one of her books. It was vitally necessary that she learned the contents of the book if she wasn't to make a fool of herself at her own ball to celebrate her new castle and the defeat of Tirek. Twilight held up the book closer to her face as if it would help her to understand the picture better only to audibly groan. "What's wrong?" Rarity said from one of the couches. They were in one of the rooms in Twilight's new castle with the two couches pushed into a corner. A table nearby held the main system from which the speakers were controlled. "I just don't get it! It's so, so, complicated." Twilight groaned again as she pulled at her face. Pinkie Pie, who was on the other couch with Discord, spoke up. "Well duh, you can't learn to dance from a book alone, silly. It takes practice!" She gave a flare of the hoof. Twilight grimaced and huddled a little closer to the book.. "I think I should at least understand the basic principles before moving on to the testing stage." Rarity shook her head. "Tsk, horse apples. Pinkie is right, oddly enough. Dancing can only be properly learned through practice. You can read all you want about how to fly but that won't help you flap your wings. You should know that from experience." She pointed out. "Now, come on. Let's dance." Rarity got up from the couch and walked over to the stereo. The music changed to something with a beat that's easier to follow. Twilight bit her lip for a moment then got up herself. "It's simple, darling! It's all about working with the music. Move your body to the beat. Sway with the crescendos." The white unicorn started to sway in an elegant waltz as she spoke. Twilight tried to move her feet along with Rarity. It started out okay until Rarity forgot about letting Twilight follow the movements and moved around in one of her fantasies. Twilight thought to herself as Rarity started to sway around the room humming to herself, Hmm, this shouldn't be too hard. Just follow the beat. "Hmm, hm, hmmmm, ahh! What are you doing?" Rarity opened her eyes when something bumped into her. It was her friend doing what could only be described at a cross between hopscotch and stretching out a cramp. Twilight looked at her innocently, "But you said to move to the music!" "Yes, but not like that!" Rarity blushed at the outburst. "Let's start over and please, never do that... jig, again." She gave up after ten minutes. "I'm sorry." Twilight said. "It's okay! Really. I just don't think I'm the right teacher for you." Rarity waved her hoof dismissively and collapsed on the couch in a dramatic fashion. "Yeah! It's like that time with Rainbow Dash! Only she learns weirdly." Pinkie had taken the chance while Twilight was practicing to dance around with Discord. She was currently being draped over Discord's arm before being pulled back up and spun in a blur. She was caught in a second then danced on like she hadn't just been spun like a top. Twilight grumbled. She had tried to forget those two were here as the danced around so perfectly. She remembered their, unnecessarily, elaborate ice skating performance at Winter Wrap up. Did ice cutting really need that many lifts? It took her two hours to get everyone back to work and not wandering over to see what they were doing next. "Maybe Dizzy can help you." Pinkie said. "Can you do it?" She asked when Discord pulled her flush to him. "Hmm, I don't know. Dancing is like a skill some are just born with." He replied with an upturned nose and side stepped with Pinkie. Twilight facepalmed. This would take some blows to her pride. "Please? I need to know this." "Ooo, a please." Discord's lips curled upwards." Alright then." He curled and uncurled Pinkie from him one last time and they posed to sound of an audience of clapping. He bowed several times and blew kisses to the empty room. Pinkie giggled and trotted off to the couches. "No no, step there, Ow! There, not my foot. Step step ouch! Try to at least step anywhere but my foot. A whole entire empty floor and you find my hoof." Discord whispered the last part with a strong ting of annoyance. If Twilight was so smart, why couldn't she understand a simple waltz? Step, step, turn. The basics! "How about we try individual dancing for a moment?" Twilight sighed and nodded in such a down trotted way the he felt a punch of guilt. He also felt the pain in his toes. Discord sat on the floor and rubbed his poor abused feet. He looked up at her, "Well? Dance! Practice on your own for a moment." What came next frightened him a little. "What the tartarus is that?" "I'm, um, dancing?" Twilight responded. "Is that a question or a statement?" He deadpanned. Stupid cute girlfriends and their left-footed friends. Why am I even trying to help this boring pony learn to dance? "A statement?" she said in the same questioning tone. Discord responded by rubbed his face with both hands. Twilight sat on the ground looking near to tears. Rarity and Pinkie peeked up from the catalogs they were searching through for ideas for their dresses. "It's okay Twilight! Pinkie called out. "You don't need to dance. You can just say you're still tired from the move." Twilight hiccuped and rubbed her cheeks. Discord grimaced from his spot on the floor and yelled,"This is stupid! Can't you just use a spell? You were so keen on using a reforming spell on me before instead of doing it the hard way. Use a spell. Even if it's just for one night." Twilight sat on the ground and look at the ceiling, "I don't want to do that. I want to learn. It wouldn't be the same." Discord scratched his head. What to do? What to do. "Let's just call it a night. Sometimes it's like a good massage. You can only work the muscles so much before you overwork them. We'll continue this tomorrow." He said. "Okay." Twilight nodded. Discord sat on the sidelines of the ball with Pinkie as the opening dance started. Pinkie would look up at him and smile. He returned it with only a hint of pain from his poor, poor toes. They looked out over the dancefloor to where Twilight was spun around by her brother. Shining had come all the way out just to celebrate his sister's triumph. "Wow, when did you learn to dance? I would have already been sidelined by now from you stepping on my hooves." Shining laughed. "Well, it took a week and a good friend to learn. But here I am!" Author's Note Fixed this one up too. 103-C: Dancing on my toes More talking heads, which creates some confusion this time. At first, it seems like Twilight and Rarity are the only ones present, but Rarity’s speech is entirely out-of-character for her. It’s only after a few hundred words of totally-unattributed dialogue that we learn Pinkie and Discord are present, and would presumably be the sources of those OOC lines. After that, the story again has a number of spelling/grammar problems, particularly choppy writing and telling, until the sudden wrap-up kills any humor or forward momentum the story had going for it. (1/5)
Love this Vine"Clean up the vines Discord!" He mocked. "Sure, I'll clean up the vines. I'll put them in your house." Discord walked down the road in Ponyville. The vines were still everywhere. Crawling into windows, through doorways, and just tangling over everything. "Hey you! Shoo! Go to the Everfree Forest." Discord put his hands on his hips. The vines seemed to look at him. They creeped back from their spots and over to him. Discord eyed them warily. It had been a long time since he had first planted them. One vine in particular stretched out to him. He crossed his arms and glared at it. The greenery drooped a little before wrapping around him. Discord when stiff. Then it...nuzzled him? Metaphoric hearts came off the vine as it hugged him. Discord sighed heavily at it. "Now, now. You have to go. No amount of sucking up to me will get you to stay." It recoiled and slinked away, the hearts breaking. Discord frowned at the display. "I don't mean to hurt you. It's just that you are making a mess." It turned back to look at him. Question marks popped up. "This is were ponies live. You have to go live in the Everfree Forest. That way." He pointed. It looked at the darkened forest. The vine gave off exclamation points and crawled back to the center of town. Most of the other vines did as well. Soon, they recoiled enough until they were five stout vine plants. The five all wrapped around each other in hugs. Discord put his hand over his heart and got teary eyed. He walked over to pet them. "Don't be afraid! It's not that scary." He looked at the forest, it looked even darker with glowing eyes and shaking bushes. "Okay, maybe it's a little scary but you're big strong vines." Metaphoric tears ran down their fronts. "Don't cry! Here, have some tea. How about we talk about this?" The vines looked at the cups. They picked them up and dumped the tea on the ground in small 'sips'. He smiled at them. "You can't stay here in Ponyville and it's only fitting that you go to the forest to be with all the other weird plant creatures." They rived around in fear with shrieks only Discord can hear. "It's going to be fine! I promise. I'll even go with you to find you a new home." Discord got up and walked to the forest. They looked at each other then crawled after him. The forest was shaded heavily even at full noon with strange noises coming from nowhere and shaking from plants. Discord tried to looked happy for them but it was hard. The forest looked so creepy. "See, not so bad," He smiled gleefully at them. "This looks like a good spot." The clearing did look nice. The vines stretched out to feel around when a huge rat creature jumped out of a bush and attacked one vine. The vine screamed in terror and pain. Discord lunged at the thing and tore it off the vine. He then threw it over the trees. The other vines quickly wrapped around him in fear. "Okay! Okay! I get it. It's too creepy in here." Discord looked up at the sky in thought. "I guess I can sneak you to the Canterlot Gardens." The vines constricted him in sheer joy and repeatedly slam him on the ground. "I love you too. Now, let's go." He heaved out of his poor abused lungs. Sneaking into the gardens wasn't that hard, though finding a spot for them was more so. They didn't like too much sun, or shade or water and didn't want to be among too many other plants. "Just find a spot already before we get caught!" Discord whispered. He was peeking his head out from behind a garden wall. They shrunk back before crawling out to a new plot of land. The vines twisted around but ended up shrieking about how they didn't like it. Discord grumbled. After looking for any guards, he escorted them out to a new section of land. They complained about too much grass. "Oh come on! You were all over Ponyville. Why can't you just settle down now?" One vine whipped around adamantly. "I get it. You didn't like it there either and really, you were looking for a spot." Discord rubbed his forehead. Children. So indecisive. A couple of guards walked pass the section they were in. Discord scoped up the moving vines and turned invisible. He then carried them to a picnic area. They crawled around like worms across the weathered grounds. One vine laid the top part of itself on the table as if face planting. Discord stared at them with a hint of sadness. They grow up so fast. "Let's go somewhere else huh? How about where I used be?" That seemed to peak their interest. They all snuck around avoiding the guards until they were where Discord used to stand. The empty pedestal looked so ordinary without Discord standing on top. Before, he mused, it was a thing of wonder. How sad it looks now. The vines crawled over and wiggled around the base. They planted themselves into the dirt. Greenery now clung to the white stone bringing it that lost sense of wonder. The vines looked so happy there. Discord gave them one last pat and ran off back to Ponyville. Later on, Celestia would be called out to the gardens about 'renegade plants' whipping passing ponies on the behind and stealing items like hats and bags. She could just hear the chuckling in the background when she found out where it was happening. Author's Note 103-E: Love this Vine Telling is the biggest problem with this one, constantly having symbols like question marks or hearts appear over the heads of the vine creatures to express their emotions, and then also going to to describe them doing things “in fear” or “in confusion”, etc. It also feels out-of-character for Discord, who’s being surprisingly kind and considerate. Misspelled words are very frequent, and once again a rushed ending makes it feel like the author forced the story to a close because they got tired of writing it, rather than reaching a natural ending point. (1/5)
The lengths of Charity"...is all nice and dandy but I think purple just isn't the right color for a bucket." Rarity said. The girls were all on the fields west of the lake for a picnic. Rarity looked into a mirror running a hoof over her hair. "Oh to think it'll be gone soon." She said with a bit of mourning. "What does that mean?" Pinkie asked. She pulled her head out of the bowl for the potato salad. "I'm going to be getting it cut." Pinkie smacked her lips. "Mmm, but why would that make you sad?" The bowl was empty but Fluttershy pushed the leftovers of her plate to Pinkie. She beamed and gobbled it down. "On Wednesday is the annual Charity Cut-Off. It's an event where ponies sit up on a stage and get their hair cut really short. The length donated is then used for wigs for cancer patients. I had been thinking for a while now if I should do it. And I have." "You have? You're going to do the cut-off?" Twilight looked up from the game of checkers she was playing with Applejack. "It all started when Miss Tardis came into my shop the other day. She had the cutest hair cut. She was telling me all about her cousin that had gotten sick and how they all shaved their heads to support her. They had donated the hair to make wigs. She told me how proud she was when her cousin got the wig made from her hair! Such generosity. And in a fabulous way. So I had decide to do it. Short hair can be so fashionable. What is keeping me from doing it?" "Wow. That does make sense." Rainbow shrugged. She was up in the tree. She had lost the fight over the leftover potato salad with Pinkie. "It is very you." Twilight said. "Is there any length your hair has to be to enter?" "Are you thinking of signing up?" Rarity was a little amazed. Twilight lightly blushed. "It is a nice thing to do. It's also something a princess like myself should be doing as a role model." "Why don't you all sign up? It'll be great publicity for the charity to have the Elements and the new princess joining in. The hair stylist is even going to be Shear Edge! Can you believe it?" Twilight The stage for the charity event had a good sized audience that day. Twilight remembered how happy the coordinator had been. She guessed Rarity was right in her comments about good publicity. The line for the booth to sign up was pretty decent by her standards. When the lengths fell from her head, Twilight felt a strange sense of lightest. She had never cut her hair before. As long as she could remember, it's always been long. The crowd cheered when the stylist held up the hair. He put it in a shallow bucket and proceeded to trim her hair to a proper style. He held up the mirror. She gasped. It looked great! She beamed. Twilight shook her hair as she walked off stage. It was more like a shorter version of her normal style but she loved it all the same. Spike chuckled and played with the bobbed hair. "It's nice." "Thanks." "And no more clogged drains." "Hey!" Rainbow Dash It had been weird sitting up in front of a crowd just for a hair cut. But then again, Rainbow had only ever cut her hair in front of the mirror in her bathroom. The stylist, some fancy pony apparently, pulled her hair back into a ponytail like he did with Twilight. "How short will you be comfortable with?" he asked. "Eh, I don't really care. Just make sure I look cool." "Cool." He smiled. It was both agreement and reassurance. The dull part of the blade ran a chill down her spine when he cut. She knew he wasn't going to cut her but her body still reacted. He held up the length and a cheer rang up. She laughed. Now this is what she's used to! He didn't touch her bangs so much as just trimming them. He pulled out a hair clipper and trimmed close to her scalp on the back. The cool air felt good. He held up the mirror. Her eyes widened. She felt..strangely feminine. The cut was so..cute? She reddened. Didn't girls look girlier with long hair? She shrugged and joined Twilight off stage. Pinkie She knew the power of laughter. It lifted spirits and brightened lives. Even ones that were ending. Pinkie had a set schedule and contact with the hospital for bi-monthly visits. They paid well but the biggest pay off to her was seeing the ponies smile again. The greyness receded from their faces after Pinkie walked into the room. Yet, as much as she loved bringing joy to others, she felt a sense of selfishness. She loved her bouncy hair. She was quite proud of it. She probably took as much care of it as Rarity did her's. The lengths fell and pulled away with every snip. Pinkie tried to imagine the thought of somepony out there with a wig of her curly hair. Oh the things it could do! They'll be the luckiest pony around. Maybe it'll become so heirloom passed down. Or the magic wig at the hospital that brought good fortune to the wear! Pinkie looked into the mirror. Her smile felt plastic. "Ooo, nice." She held back bitter tears as she joined her friends. Applejack AJ was a practical pony. Hair is hair. It grows back just like the trees after winter. She had only the mildest of thoughts on it. Long hair was nice and all but it's also not necessity on a working farm. She just let it grow and trimmed it to keep it from getting too long. She took off her hat. The stallion took out her hairband and out it aside. Applejack looked at her hair one last time before he pulled it back. She really thought about it. She did like her hair. It reminded her of sunshine. Of yellow corn. Wide fields of grain. Long days of applebucking caused it to collect with sweat, yet, it smelled of harvest. The sweet apple smell and grass. Dirt as well but she didn't mind. Only the best dirt smelled the worst. She loved it when she smelled of dirt. It just means a good day's work was done. The bucket held her hair now like the legendary golden apple bucked from its branch. He tied her hair back up. She looked into the mirror. It reminded her of the hay in the barn. She would lay in the piles after a day of bucking and often, her and Big Mac would lay there resting, telling jokes and stories. "My appreciations." She left the stage with an odd new sense of connection to her hair. Fluttershy "Are you sure about this?" "Yes." "Do you want short or longer?" "Um, what ever you think." "Your hair is so long already. I bet we could make two wigs with it haha." "Yeah." "How do you like it? Good?" "Yes." "But do you like it?" "It's fine." Fluttershy walked off the stage. The long bangs didn't cover much of her face anymore. Did that make her more open? To what? She rubbed a hoof on it. It's too late now. But did she like it? She wasn't sure at all to be honest. It was just..different. Rarity Rarity beamed and strutted onto stage. "Thank you all for being here!" She waved to the crowd. She stopped to blow a kiss to one serpentine dragon in the back. He caught it and laughed. "This means so much to me and all of crew here from the hospital. Your donations will brighten the lives of patients here at our own wards and wards across Equestria." After a bit of fanfare, she sat on the chair. "Do your thing." She winked. Shear laughed. Rarity was smiling and waving to the crowd as he cut her precious locks away. The crowd went nuts when he held up the filled bucket. She clapped her own hooves. He handed her the mirror. "Oh Shear!" Rarity exclaimed. "It looks fabulous!" She played with the leftover locks. They hugged. Rarity waved and blew more kisses to the crowd as she left the stage. The girls all stood in a circle by the stage. They each played with or commented on their new hair cuts. It was a good day. Author's Note by schnuffitrunks on deviantart. This story was inspired by this picture and similar ones where they have short hair. 103-H: The lengths of Charity This one speaks in support of donation programs like “Locks of Love”, but not to the extent that Ianpiersonjdavis’s story “Fluttershy Donates Blood” promotes its form of charity. The focus here seems to instead be on the feelings each of the mane six have about losing most of their manes, and the problems come in how those are presented. In what I’m sure is just a sign of rushed writing, all of them are pretty telly, while also failing to explore those emotions to any great length, even when the story warrants it. For example, Pinkie clearly had the worst reaction to it, but we really only get to see that she’s putting on a false smile. Everything deeper than that is left out. (2/5)
