Valley Mares: Like, Totally BFFs Forever

by Fluttershyfan

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Rarity, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 2530

They're super-hot, super-perfect, and super-excited to become famous. They're valley mares.

Electric Wave and Palm Spring (briefly glimpsed in "Putting Your Hoof Down") are from Las Pegasus, a cozy little suburb nestled in Dawn Valley, just south of Manehattan. They are what many would call "valley mares"—they're super-hot, super-perfect, and, like, so totally super-excited for this. Together, they're ready to take on the world. With only the clothes on their backs and saddlebags full of their parents' money, these best friends will discover the true magic of friendship in their own unique way.

(Of course, "Valley Mares" is ultimately inspired by the valley girls of the San Fernando Valley in California, and draws further influence from the sort of staple plots which abounded on 1980s-era sitcoms. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have writing it! Also, I'd like to give my friend Bobdat a big thank you for being both editor and test audience for this story.)

Published 2012-04-16 08:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-21 04:53:28 UTC

Chapter 1

Nopony ever locked their door in Las Pegasus. In the affluent southern suburb of the bustling metropolis of Manehattan, you never knew when a celebrity or talent agent could burst into your home and give you a big break.

Usually—for Electric Wave, at least—it was just your best friend, with some stupid idea for how to waste an afternoon.

Palm Spring’s plots could typically be divided into three categories: ways to meet colts, ways to meet famous ponies, and ways to become famous ponies. Electric Wave kept a chart above her bed for easy reference. Almost every day, there was something new.

She never put much stock in the ideas that her best friend dreamed up. She was of the school of thought that, if she waited long enough, fame, fortune, and handsome colts would come to her. It was the law of averages. Or something. Electric Wave had never been very good at math.

She simultaneously loved and abhorred summers. On one hoof, she didn’t have to wrack her brain trying to comprehend imaginary numbers and quadratic equations. On the other hoof, she had to share a house with her bratty sister Moon Unit all day, every day.

In that way, Palm Spring’s plots saved Electric Wave from going insane—they got her out of the house, away from her little sister, and, more often than not, into a bit of trouble—and, sometimes, public humiliation. Electric Wave couldn’t forget the time the pair had shown up in bikinis to a formal dance. She was still trying to live it down.

Palm Spring’s sister, Palm Beach, wasn’t any better than Moon Unit, and so both mares were keen on getting as far from their homes as possible, for as long as possible. They had journeyed from Las Pegasus to Manehattan and back more times than Electric Wave could count, and had once even taken the train to Ponyville for—some reason that was no longer clear to Electric Wave. She could’ve sworn it had sounded excellent at the time. They brought back asparagus.

But that had been last summer. They weren’t fillies any more. Maybe Palm Spring’s plans for this summer would be slightly less prone to failure. Electric Wave could really get enthusiastic about an idea if it was a guaranteed success, and maybe—

“You, like, wouldn’t believe it, Lex,” Palm Spring said, trotting proudly through Electric Wave’s front door. “Our luck, I mean. We’re so lucky.”

“Why’s that, Palm?” Electric Wave inquired.

“I, like, signed us up for this big pageant in Manehattan,” the blue mare declared, helping herself to a bowl of chips on the kitchen counter. “It’s going to be so totally super. Colts and celebs, like, everywhere, girl.”

“Like, when is it?” Electric Wave asked, smiling. “It sounds totally fun.” They could spend a week shopping for dresses, losing weight, doing each other’s hair, and by the time the pageant happened they would look fabulous, totally fab—

“Tomorrow.”

But that had been last summer. They weren’t fillies any more. Maybe Palm Spring’s plans for this summer would be ~~slightly less prone to failure. Electric Wave could really get enthusiastic about an idea if it was a guaranteed success, and maybe—~~ just as stupid as ever.

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“The Fifth Annual Equestria Girls Beauty Pageant,” Electric Wave read from the pamphlet as their train was approaching the station. “Come see the most beautiful mares in all of Equestria compete against each other for pride and glory. Judged by the incomparable Photo Finish!”

“See, Lex? I’m telling you, this is going to be so totally awesome,” Palm Spring said. A wide gesture with her hooves encompassed the glittering metropolis of Manehattan ahead, glowing like a second sun against the evening sky. “The most beautiful mares in all of Equestria. You can just tell that they’re talking about ponies like us, right?”

“Yeah, Palm. The more I think about it, the more I think you’re probably right,” Electric Wave admitted. “This is, like, a super-incredible opportunity. I just wish we had, like, more time to shop for our outfits before this thing got started.”

“Why do we need more time, Lex?” Palm Spring inquired. “We’ve still got all night to hit the stores, girl.”

As they disembarked, the two ponies took the opportunity to drink in the aura of excitement that a night on the town in Manehattan held. For two adolescent mares from comfortable suburban Las Pegasus, the city was all their hopes and dreams realized—a Mecca of style, a nexus of glamour, and a whole bunch of other words that neither understood, but both knew had been applied to the luminous city by newspapers across Equestria.

“This is so totally super,” Electric Wave marveled, overawed by the sheer glory of the Manehattan shopping district. Even through her orange-tinted sunglasses, its brilliance was nearly blinding.

“Best thing ever. In my life,” agreed Palm Spring, as they trotted down the wide Everfree Boulevard. “This is too perfect.”

“So totally perfect!” Electric Wave said, staring in wide-eyed wonder at mannequins clothed in the finest, most alluring gowns and dresses that she had ever seen. As she did, a grim thought crept into her mind. “Hey, Palm, do you really think we’ll have, like, enough money to pay for new outfits? Such super-perfect dresses must be really super-pricey.”

“I don’t think so, Lex,” Palm Spring disagreed. “There are so many boutiques here, and they get, like, hundreds of customers every single day. What they sell doesn’t need to be super-pricey, because they sell, like, millions of something. Supply and demand!”

“Is that how supply and demand works?” Electric Wave said, cocking her head. “I know I only got, like, a C in Economics—mostly because the teacher was totally super-lame—but I don’t remember any of the stuff you’re saying.”

“That’s because I’m totally smarter than you!” Palm Spring declared, chuckling.

“Ha ha. You’re sooo funny that I totally forgot to laugh,” Electric Wave retorted. “Seriously, though, Palm, I’m, like, really unsure here. Those dresses are really nice.”

“Stop whining! Come on, Lex, I’ll show you that I’m right! Then we can focus on looking super-hot for the pageant tomorrow!” With that, Palm Spring chomped down on her friend’s tail and dragged her into the nearest store.

Chapter 2

“Okay, so I might have, like, underestimated the prices on those outfits a tiny bit,” Palm Spring admitted as she and Electric Wave sulked out of the boutique.

“Yeah, Palm, totally. Just a teeny-tiny bit,” Electric Wave replied sarcastically. Even the plainest dress had been worth more than what the two mares had spent on both of their current wardrobes, combined. And they weren’t known for their inexpensive tastes.

“Ha ha. You’re sooo funny that I forgot to laugh,” Palm Spring retorted.

Through her orange sunglasses, Electric Wave’s eyes gave her friend a look that begged to know if she was serious. “Girl, I used that line, like, five minutes ago. Seriously.”

“Whatever,” Palm Spring growled, with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “Now, we have a totally major problem.”

“You can say that again,” the pink mare agreed, with a heavy sigh. “How are we going to look super-hot tomorrow if we can’t even buy, like, one dress between the two of us?”

“I would so not want to share a dress,” Palm Spring declared. “You’d probably get it all grody.”

“Oh, really? This coming from the mare who only bathes once every—” Electric Wave paused, looking from her indignant friend to the bright lights of the Everfree Boulevard boutiques. She let her body relax, and even managed to giggle wryly. “Look, Palm, this is so not even close to important right now. We need dresses, and we need them super-soon.”

With some effort, Palm Spring managed to flash her friend a smile. “You’re right, Lex. Totally right. We need to figure this out—like, now.”

“—two ponies alright? You look positively horrendous.”

Wearily, Palm Spring removed her head from her hooves and glared up at the ivory unicorn. “Thanks, like, so much, lady,” she hissed. “Thanks a million.”

Brushing a lock of her elegantly-coifed purple mane behind her ear, the unicorn rolled her eyes. “Oh, surely you understood what I meant, darling,” she said. “You girls must have had a rough night. Your clothes are dirty, your manes are simply disastrous, and you—well, frankly, you stink.”

“Hey, give me a break. After the kind of night we’ve had, you’d so be a total mess, too,” Palm Spring replied indignantly. “But even if you were, they‘d probably, like, give you a super-nice bath when you got back to the old ponies’ home.”

“What!?” the unicorn screeched indignantly. “Why, I’ll have you know that I’m not a day over—”

“Seriously, could you just, like, get a life?” Electric Wave added, glaring at the unicorn from behind her orange sunglasses. “We’ve had a totally super-awful day and we just need to, like, get to our hotel and get some sleep.”

“Well, don’t let me hold you up!” the unicorn sniffed, flipping her gorgeous amethyst hair such that it sparkled in the city lights. “You must be very important little ponies with very important things to do. Good night!” She turned her back on them, muttering something about undignified whelps.

She would have trotted off into the deepening darkness of the night without a second thought had she not heard the soft, yet unmistakable, sound of a stifled sob. She glanced over her shoulder to see the blue mare on the ground, her face contorted with untempered despair. “It’s not fair, Lex,” Palm Spring moaned. “It’s so not fair.”

Acting against her baser impulses—Walk away, Rarity; seeing how rude they were to you, they probably wouldn’t even accept your assistance—the unicorn spun to face the two valley mares once more. “If I may ask,” she began, slowly, “what was it that made your day so—umm, super-awful?”

“Well, Palm signed us up to, like, be in the Equestria Girls Beauty Pageant,” Electric Wave explained, obviously fighting back tears herself. “We have like, a totally major problem, though, because all of the dresses in these stores are, like, totally expensive.”

“Is that so?” the unicorn asked, eying the boutiques critically. None of them could compare to her own Carousel Boutique, of course, but at the center of such a commercial hub as Manehattan, even stores that dealt in relatively unremarkable couture could make an obscene profit overpricing their wares.

“Yeah,” Electric Wave confirmed, swiping with a hoof at the teardrops dribbling down her cheek. “It’s the worst.”

“Worst thing ever!” sniffed Palm Spring, who was still lying prone on the cold street. “In my life!”

Stooping down, the unicorn lifted the young blue pony gingerly to her hooves. “Oh, come now. Don’t give up so soon,” she said. “Now, if you two girls would care to accompany me back to my hotel, I believe that I can work out a solution to your problem.”

“Seriously?” Electric Wave and Palm Spring asked in unison.

“Of course,” the unicorn said, with an earnest smile. “I wouldn’t dare to allow the two of you to participate in the pageant in this dreadful state. Quite the contrary—when I’m through with you, you’ll be the most bedazzling mares in all of Manehattan.”

“Thanks so much, lady!” Palm Spring said. “I totally mean it, too.”

“You’re very welcome, darling,” the unicorn replied, trotting southward down Everfree Boulevard. The two young mares followed her eagerly. “The name’s Rarity, by the way. And I’ve made it my personal mission for the night to make the two of you absolutely gorgeous!"

Chapter 3

“The first thing we’ll need is your measurements,” explained Rarity, summoning a roll of measuring tape with her magic. Another glance at the two bedraggled mares made her rethink that assertion. “Actually, the first thing the two of you need is a warm bath.”

"I feel, like, totally better now," Palm Spring said, toweling off her hair in front of the mirror. It hung in dewy plaits over her face, lacking the same volume which it possessed when dry.

"You smell totally better now, too," Electric Wave jibed, submerged up to her neck in the tub of steamy, soapy water.

"Oh, you are, like, way too funny, Lex," Palm Spring replied sardonically. She made a face at Electric Wave in the mirror, and her best friend responded similarly, causing each mare to giggle at the other's goofy expression.

"So, do you think Miss Rarity can really make us totally super-hot for the pageant?" Electric Wave asked as her giggling fit subsided.

"Duh! Totally!" Palm Spring replied emphatically. "Do you have, like, any idea how lucky we are, to have somepony as totally awesome as Miss Rarity making dresses for us? She's got a super fashion sense."

"Yeah, I guess she is totally awesome," Electric Wave admitted, rubbing a bar of soap across her flank until her pink coat shone as brilliantly as Celestia's sun. "Still, one night is, like, so not a very long time to make two dresses in."

"Well, duh, Lex, but we can, like, help Miss Rarity, if she needs anything," Palm Spring explained.

Nodding, Electric Wave hopped from the tub onto the cold porcelain floor. "You're right, Palm," she concurred. "Toss me a towel. We have, like, no time to get our dresses made, and I totally don't want to waste even another second!"

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"Well, I can't say I'm not exhausted," Rarity said, blinking her eyes tiredly. How had the dawn come so soon? "But I can say that the two of you look nothing short of fabulous!"

Admiring themselves in the mirror, the two young valley mares chattered at each other excitedly, seeming to have been spared any of the ill effects that a sleepless night could bring a pony. "Thanks so much, Miss Rarity! This is seriously the best thing ever," Palm Spring squealed, pawing carefully at the sequins embroidered into her royal blue satin dress.

"So awesome!" Electric Wave agreed, turning around to view her pearl-colored charmeuse gown from yet another angle.

"It's wonderful to see the two of you so happy," Rarity said, watching them preen with an almost motherly affection. "Particularly knowing what a wretched state you were in when I first came across you."

"This really does mean, like, so much to us, Miss Rarity," Palm Spring said as she swayed her hips, watching the grey mesh skirt beneath her satin bodice move with her. "Last night was seriously super-awful until we met you."

"I'm glad to be of help, darling," Rarity replied. "I couldn't bear to see you two sweet little ponies in distress."

Electric Wave turned to Rarity and smiled. Without her orange-tinted sunglasses, she was positively stunning. "We owe you, Miss Rarity," the pink mare declared. "Like, big time."

"As long as the two of you are happy, I'm happy. I need no more recompense than that," Rarity replied, flipping her amethyst hair back. "Now, I would strongly suggest that the two of you get some sleep. You have a big day today, and you'll need every minute of beauty rest that you can get."