Equestria plays video games

by meepify

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 5093

Games from our world enter equestria. Oh, the horror.

In this story, ponies rage alot the mane six, the princesses, and even discord and tirek play video games from our world, such as dating sims, puzzle games, and even an FPS!
This is gonna be a long night.

MY LITTLE NOTICE BOARD
Failed the submission once, as I am very dumb.
Inspired by a random (in the right way) story
Luna let's plays every two stories.

Yeah. I just made this story. Deal with it.
AND YES, I KNOW COFFEE IS NOT A DRUG!

Request pairings in description. E.g. Luna plays minecraft

Sex tag for language. Quite a bit of it, but not so much the story overflows.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-11 02:56:38 UTC

Twilight plays submachine/Celestia plays CoD ghosts

        Twilight was excited. Very excited. More excited than when spike got a date with rarity. More than when she had found out she was a princess! (But then again, she was not very excited about being a princess!) Even more than when she got 56 pages of homework. Today she had invented... (pause for effect) computers! One of her inventions had been shipped to her for prototyping. She opened her new creation, and readied herself. A prompt popped up.

"Two networks available" she read off the screen. "Two? Maybe I tapped into tartarus' torture.net? Oh well, let's see here" There were two options on the screen. Universe 1: Equestria was on the left. Universe two: Earth was on the right. Out of curiousity, she opened Universe two. A naked monkey with a mane wearing a dress popped up. Twilight nearly bugged her eyes out of her head. She called Celestia, who had also been given a prototype. Celestia answered with a respectful greeting.

"Make it quick please. now, what is it?" Asked the princess.

"Celestia! I found an alternate world! It has naked dress wearing monkeys!" Twilight yelled back. "Yes Twilight, and I want you to research these monkeys. They call themselves humans, by the way. Bye now, I am playing this thing called a video game. Try it, it is fun!" With that, the princess of the Sun continued playing call of duty: ghosts, while yelling some gibberish about getting owned by the sun.

Twilight was taking the princess' suggestion.. She browsed for games, but they were either too sexy for twilight offensive or cost too much. She searched puzzle games, and then remembered something button mash once said about arcades. She searched arcade games, and got something called arcadetown. Most of the games were, (of course) costly or offensive. What was not costly or offensive was a game called Flappy Bird. But when she looked in adventure by accident, she saw something called submachine. It looked nice, but she did not trust this arcadetown thing. (It had too many disgusting ads) She searched up Submachine, found it was "a challenging escape game" and opened the official site on mautezskutnik.com, hoping for the best. Twilight waited for it to load. Twilight pressed the start button. Twilight proceeded to play the game.

Words flashed on the screen, and a picture of a basement came up. A static covering, like in an arcade game, was on the screen.

The words began to flash on the screen. Twilight read them. "I remember... I remember I had a dream... I remember finishing that game... But I Don't remember waking up from that dream..." Upon which the screen zoomed out. Twilight moved her mouse around the screen. She was in a red brick room,  with dirt everywhere. There was an odd arcade machine called submachine in the center, and a door on the left. Twilight was a bit freaked out by the music, which made her feel like the only pony in the world. Her character  was not visible on the screen. This was good. Twilight did not want to be a naked dress wearing monkey. She took the door all the way to the far left, a nd found a staircase. She went upstairs, grabbed a cog wheel off the floor, and went back to the first room. On the way she noticed a gramaphone. She dismissed it, and moved on. Fifteen minutes of searching later, she figured out the cog wheel went in the gramaphone. Twilight facehoofed. She tried another one, this one with a teleporter. She failed there too. Every submachine was packed with really hard puzzles.

Six hours of raging later!

Spike walked into the house/library, and plopped onto the floor. Rarity had made him act out a story after he lost a bet, and being in a clopfic was tiring. That was when he heard frantic scribbling from above.  He checked if the windows were open, in case of a burglar, and seeing none, called up the staircase.

"Twilight? you there?" He walked upstairs, wondering why the heck Twilight was up so late. For crying out loud, it was 11:00! As he walked into the room, he was struck immediately by twilight's face. It looked kinda like she was pinkie pie, but with more cocaine. (Either that, or the face of someone who just played super meat boy)

"OH HELLLO! SPIKE, WOULD YOU YOU LIKE TO HEELP ME!?" Spike somehow managed to puke and fall unconscious at the same time. "hmm.. OH WELL, BACK TO MY NOTES!" Twilight continued her notes, writing down that access codes 1, 2, 666, 800, 944, and 000 lead somewhere, and that she had divised a system for blind jumping. 5 weeks later, Princess Celestia sent a letter.

l

I have not seen any reports, my dear twilight sparkle. This is a problem, as the princesses all need to give a report. ALL. Especially cadence! Bye now, gonna pwn some newbies

Twilight sparkle took no notice of the letter. She had almost finished submachine FLF, (future loop foundation.) when Celestia crashed through the roof, and almost smooshed twilight. "Why are you playing this crap!? We demand to know!" Yelled celestia in her royal voice. But twilight was very absorbed in the game, and took no notice. "THAT IS IT!" Yelled Celestia. "I CHALLENGE YOU TO A WAR OF OUR GAMES!" Twilight looked up.  "I accept." Princess Celestia put on a combat outfit, camo and all. Spike came to, saw Princess Celestia with an assault rifle, and fainted again

Twilight stood in Ponyville, enjoying dj-pon3's cowboy standoff music. Celestia stood in Canterlot, loading her red dot sight assault rifle. The moon rose... Luna gave the signal.... and Celestia charged! Rainbow came from above, dropping weird radios that you see everywhere in submachine. they exploded, and knocked out flash sentry. Celestia yelled something that sounded like it came from street fighter, and shot rainbow out of the sky with a tank. The tank was then blown up by a tampered-with missile launcher. In the midst of the chaos, spike awoke again, in time to see rainbow dash fly past his window with a gunshot wound and a pile of weird radios.

           "I have the craziest dreams" he said to himself. Spike went back to bed.

In ponyville town hall, reality was collapsing as twilight used one of submachines's weird wisdom gems to create a black hole. She knew Celestia could come at any time, so she did the most sensible thing to do now. she got high on coffee beans.

Celestia entered the town hall, where a rather dizzy twilight was tripping out on coffee beans. "LOOK AT ALL THE COLORS!" Celestia was ready to shoot twilight's face in, but before she could, her organs started imploding. "No! What is this maddness!?" She would have had more to say, except she was busy being eaten by a black hole. Then twilight's organs began to implode too, and because she was mixed with the wisdom gem, it caused a singularity.

Both princess were spewed out, and the black hole exploded. It began to rain radio pieces. "Wow, that was pretty intense." said Celestia, watching twilight vomit out her pancreas. "Guess it is not a loser game. Sorry Twilight. Toodles" Celestia warped away to go kill some CoD noobs.

         Twilight continued to vomit her pancreas. The last thing she said before blacking out was: "I don't really wanna play that game anymore..."

Pinkie Pie plays happy wheels/Twilight gets committed

Spike woke up in his bed, ready for the day. He went to the coffee machine and stole some beans, which tripped out on.

He woke up, ready to get high again (yes, this Is seriously what he does all day.) when he started remembering the events of yesterday. Twilight going to the ER... Celestia charged with attempted murder... good times, good times. He stood up, and walked over to the the computer, the infernal contraption that started this. He was intrigued by it, despite it putting twilight in the hospital. He definitely wanted to try this video game thing. He had ordered a game called Happy wheels. He had little idea what it was about, other than that there was the word "happy" in the name. (This made him think of drugs, hence the purchase)

"Well, here goes nothing..." said spike. The moment he pressed start, Pinkie popped up in front of his face.

"Oh, hello!" Bubbled pinkie in an unnecessarily loud voice, scaring spike shitless. She then proceeded to turn her head to the camera screen, and blabber to who she called the reader. Spike stood dumbfounded. "...and then three birds sung the song, and it was like- oh dear! I accidentally broke the fourth wall again! oh well, time for some coke!"  Spike had finally had enough.  he took out his ACME™ suicidal object, and shot himself.

"hmm... Oh well, the author is very demented, and it is not like I can resist his clutches! ...dangit, broke the fourth wall again. time to cover up with a random activity!" Pinkie scrolled through her random activities list. "Aha! Playing a game sounds fun! Twilight even got a new game-player-thing!" she looked at spike's computer, and saw the icon for happy wheels. "ooh... shiny... I WANT DAT ONE!"

Pinkie double clicked the icon, opened it, and began to play.

It booted up showing user levels. She chose one titled: the funnel.

It had spikes on the top and on the bottom, as well as a human biker. She  moved the biker, and he shot forth, Passing different colors. The levels of color were: turd, dumb, weak, better, ok, nice, good, great, excellent, amazing. The walls slowly closed in, and the spikes impaled the biker with quite a mess. The words; "you lose, better luck next time" flashed on her screen. Pinkie looked at the biker. "Let's do this" she tried again, and got rank turd. Pinkie raged her face off, but put back because organs are disgusting to have on your face She continued to play, occasionally taking "cuss at the computer" breaks.

Twilight had made it through the ER, and was now on her way home. Celestia was in jail, and Luna had taken the full ownership of her throne. all was right with the world. (except for how demented the author made it) "WHYYYYYYY!!!!" yelled a bubbly voice from within the library. "Oh sweet Luna!" Twilight ran into the library, hoping no one was hurt.

Spike was dead on the floor, a gun near his head. Pinkie's stuff trailed to a corner of the room, the corner where the computer normally was. Pinkie was playing happy wheels franticly.

"DAMN THIS LEVEL IS HARD!" Raged Pinkie. Twilight did the only reasonable thing. she took spike's ACME™ suicidal object, and shot herself through the face. the last thing she saw was pinkie failing the level again.

Twilight awoke in a cloudy expanse.

"Pendulo... Pony heaven..." she breathed. Twilight looked around at the clouds, and realized there was something off about them. then she felt her feet in a bed, and heard voices.

"DOCTOR, WE ARE LOSING HER!" Yelled a cloud. Twilight's eyes snapped open. "aww... I was having the best dream..."

"You mean dying?" asked the doctor

"Yeah, that" responded twilight. She looked around, and saw that she was in a white room. There were bars on the windows.  The door was solid metal. This was not ponyville hospital... It was... EQUESTRIA ASYLUM! (dun dun dunnn!!!!) "NOOO!!!!" twilight screamed.  Twilight hyperventilated, and passed out again.

Celestia was wondering how you could getting high on coffee beans, when she was told twilight was mentally ill. This meant she probably was falsely accused, and therefore she was freed. It also meant that hasbro didn't have a main character anymore, but Celestia did not give a fuck about that. Celestia went back to her castle, and continued her life as a gamer. She was busy headshotting, when Luna came in to bitch about raising the Sun. Celestia then resigned (Luna bitched about this one quite a bit), and became the castle's royal master of awesomeness at call of duty. (Celestia made the title herself) Luna bitched about that too, but nothing could be done.

Pinkie sat at her new computer, playing happy wheels. She was Going to make history today. She would beat "the funnel"

She could feel it. She braced herself... and pressed the button. She flew past good, past excellent, past amazing.. She hit perfect!

Pinkie cheered, and clicked out of the level. Then she saw ten more levels.

"OOH SHINY!" She clicked the first one. Pinkie kept playing.

five years later...

Pinkie was a mod on the happy wheels team, and immensely good at it. Twilight had gone insane (we all knew it would happen eventually right?) within the halls of Equestria asylum. And princess celestia? She was now a beta tester, and worked for happy wheels, EA, and a few old (and often drunk) guys who made games. All was right with the world... except for one little thing. The computers that twilight had invented had now been released to the public. And a certain interdimentional demon wanted one.

Luna lets plays: the stanley parable/EA the evil

"Is this thing on?"

"Yes, Madame Luna"

"Ok. Well. Lets get going. Now. I mean.... Now."

"just do it, Madame Luna."

"You dare order me around?! I am your worst fear! Prepare to die!"

PLEASE STAND BY, BUTLER BEING BLOODILY DISMEMBERED

"Welcome, inferior maggots, to the first ever Luna let's play! Today we will be playing... oh god, the NSFW! It burns, it burns!!!!"

PLEASE STAND BY, BLOODILY DISMEMBERING THE PERSON WHO GAVE ME THIS RECOMMENDATION

"Welcome back, today we will be playing a game by naked dress-wearing monkeys, called humans. The game is called the stanley parable. I hope it is fun, blah blah, let's play."

Luna booted up the game to see a picture of an office desk, with a some basic title screen options.  There was a computer on the desk. On the screen was an exact replica of the title screen, including the computer itself, and what was on the screen. Luna saw this, got dizzy, and looked away "I, Princess Luna, Will beat your mindfuck!" Proclaimed Luna royally. She pressed play, and listened to the narrator's words.

"This is the story of a man named stanley. Stanley worked in a big office building, where stanley was employee number 427. His job was to sit in room 427 and push buttons." Said the narrator in a British voice.

Luna was reminded of her sister's job.

"Orders came through to him on the monitor, telling him what buttons to push, when to push them, and in what order. this is what Stanley did, every day, of every month, of every year."

Luna thought about this, and came to the conclusion his life was going nowhere fast.

"Although others might have considered it soul-rending, Stanley relished very moment that the orders came in, As though he had been made exactly for this purpose. And Stanley was happy."

"Good for him" muttered Luna in an insincere way.

"and then one day something very peculiar happened. something that would forever change Stanley. Something he would never quite forget. He had been at his desk for nearly an hour, when he realized not one single order had come in on the monitor.

"how the fuck did it take him that long to notice!?" the narrator ignored her, however.

"no one had showed up to give instructions, call a meeting, or even say; 'hi'"

"Stanley, your life is a train wreck. who would want to say hi to you?" Luna said in a blunt tone

"never in all his years at the company had this happened, this complete isolation."

"It should have, because you are an imbecile who deserves to be lonely. go die in a hole, Stanley"

"shocked, frozen solid, he found himself unable to move for the longest time.

something was very clearly wrong."

"My compliments hurt your feelings?" Luna asked.

"but as he came to his wits, and regained his senses, he got up from his desk, and stepped out of his office."

"Probably for the first time.." Luna muttered. She got up, and looked around.  Seeing nothing, she exited the room, and heard the narrator again.

"All of stanley's coworkers were gone. What could it mean?" "

"That he was friends with Johnny the homicidal maniac, and everyone ran." Responded Luna with the most likely scenario. She was trying every door 7 times when she heard the narrator. "Click a door five times, is that all you think an achievement is worth?"

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STALKING ME?!?!" Yelled Luna. Enraged, she broke the computer with her ACME™ blunt object. She sighed. Never again would she do video games. "This is the story of a pony named Luna." Said the narrator's voice. Luna stood there, dumbstruck. "Luna has anger issues, bitches on her sister, and goes to a starbucks to get high on coffee beans. But no one cares because she is a princess"

"self proclaimed princess" Luna bragged.

"One day, a narrator came out of her computer, and trapped her inside a game."

"Pssh, no he didn't." Luna said. That was when Luna's surroundings changed to an office.

"Aw hell no!" Bitched Luna.

"Luna was trapped there forever. And Luna was bitchy."

Luna turned a bluish white. Then she saw coffee on her desk. "Joke's on you mothabucker!"

She drank it, and the room turned 47 different colours. Then the narrator voice spawned like a Kumquat. Seas potato chickenhat goodbye face.

While Luna was deliriously high, the narrator was watching from behind the fourth wall. "my god luna, is that really what you do all day? I don't see the worth in it." he said to himself. "ugh, I am starting to wonder if this was a good idea."

MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE ELSE!

EA was practicing. Something big was coming, and they needed more ratings. So, they did what they normally did when ratings were needed. They made another sacrifice to the demon god eezlerath. This time they would sacrifice... Equestria! Eezlerath summoned a portal, sending EA's high council. "All shall fall before eezlerath!" Then he went off to closet clop.

IN EQUESTRIA, 3 DAYS LATER!

"Fuck yea! I have SKITTLES!!" Yelled the narrator.

"By the power of decaf, I sap thy energies!" Responded Luna in an equally loud voice.

"Keep it down, I am testing pinkie pie's new game, gummy rampage!" Howled celestia grumpily.

"Would the royal masters like some tea?" Asked the new butler calmly, ignoring the fact that the narrator was sending skittles at Luna, in the shape of a sword. Twilight was calmly watching from her royal cell. (Princess Celestia wanted her there to test new torture methods, and in exchange, she got to play submachine.) The peace was kept barely, and all was right with the world.. Until three days later

The narrator and luna play deep sleep/to hell wiht it, This is a crackfic

ONE DAY LATER!

"This is the story of a pony named Luna."

"Heeeal yeah beeotch! Luna's back, with more powwa!!"

"Luna records stuff with me, and we watch pornographic videos late at night."

"Don't tell them that..."

"Today we play a scary game, and Luna will not be affected at all."

"Tis' true."

"The game is called deep sleep, and we are gonna have some fun. (Not that kind) The narrator & Luna... GO!"

They booted up the game, and saw it was pixelated, with a title, and a few play options.

"Luna, why did you make me play this... you know how much I hate pixelated games."

"They are all pixelated, now shut your whinehole"

They pressed play, and looked at the scene before them. a bed, some walls, and a picture. Luna clicked the bed.

-I have just woken up-

"well fuck that, I thought this game was supposed to be sleeping, not waking." they looked around, and picked a box off a dresser in the next room.

the room wilted around them, they went back a room, and saw a skeleton in the bed. The narrator screamed like a little girl who had seen Luna's sex dungeon something bad, and Luna laughed. "this game is not scary. Oh well, we have already started."

ONE WHOLE GAME LATER!

Luna was in the corner, curled up in a little ball. "no more nightmares, no more nightmares, no more nightmar..." she said on repeat, not even caring that she was pissing herself out of fright. The narrator was crying, while the computer held a picture of the title screen of deep sleep. Celestia walked in, Twilight's blood on her hooves from the latest torture machine experiment. Twilight was beside her, missing an appendage and half her ear.

"Luna? Why the fuck are you playing this crap? I told you to play CoD ghosts." said celestia angrily. Luna continued to repeat the words. Twilight walked up to the computer.

"hehheheeee... Twily play game..." the narrator whimpered. She booted it up, but the screen fizzled. static was everywhere. Twilight smiled evilly. At that moment, two things happened. the author realized this story is a sort of crackfic, and Twilight disappeared.

IN THE DEEP SLEEP!

Twilight appeared in a nightmare world, insane as ever. she saw a black figure coming towards her. she smiled.

"HELLO MOMMY! WOULD YOU LIKE SOME KNIFE?!" asked twilight with a demented smile. the shadow demon screamed, and ran for it's life, chanting a holy chant known by many as protective.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY, GET THE FUCK AWAY!" Chanted the shadow demon from the game. It was to no avail. Twilight grabbed the shadow. she punched it's face in with her ACME™ punchy hand rings. The shadow died, and twilight assumed its role as demon of nightmares.

"TROLLOLOLOLOL AHHAAHAHAH!" sang twilight, not caring that she was singing a childish troll song with the voice of a rusty gate hinge. music came from behind her to accompany her horrible singing.

BACK IN CANTERLOT!

Luna was, for once, being bitched on.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU LET HER GET AWAY!" yelled Celestia

"because I had no choice..." muttered Luna

"GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T KILL YOU!" Threatened Celestia.

"Because I am sexy"

"RAAAAAAGGGGGEEE!" Raged Celestia.

The narrator suddenly started narrating.

"This is the story of a pony named Celestia. Celestia was high and mighty, until the narrator put her in the deep sleep."

"OH HELL NO! WHEN I GET OUT, YOU'RE FUCKED!" were Celestia's last words.

"Thanks N." said Luna.

"No problem. Let's go to a night rave."

the room turned multi colored, and a Disco song played. They danced until dawn, upon which they got high on coffee beans, and danced until midnight. That was when luna realized she loved the narrator, and thus proposed on the spot. the narrator accepted, and became the first ever non-jerky prince. THE END! (for the 2nd and not last time)

Celestia woke up. "what is this place?" she asked.

She wanted to run, but could not move. Twilight walked up. "HELLO FREINNNDDD!!!" LETS PLAY A GAME!!!!" Exclaimed twilight.

"OH SWEET JESUS NOO!! AHHHHHH!!!" Cried celestia.

Twilight was forcing Celestia to play Dungeons n' Dragons against her will in limbo, MLP now had tons of sexual references and cussing, Pinkie pie tested video games for drunkards, Twilight sparkle was a psychopathic demon of nightmares, Prince Narrator had killed himself to escape royal duties, spike was dead by suicide, and Luna was heartbroken. Hasbro wondered why so many older folk were watching their show. Oh well. Time to commence termination tuesday. As hasbro left the room, he noticed two cultists. They smiled evily. One stole his soul, while the other one held a knife to his throat. They walked inside, and turned on Hasbro's grand computer. They then activated the power bring ponies into the human world, but quickly turned it off when they saw twilight. They ran, and Hasbro got his soul back, to continue being fucked up.

Angel was being given his weekly blood sacrifice by fluttershy, when he decided to be a drug Lord. He notified fluttershy, who said it was fine if he did, on the condition he had to bring the bodies back to her for pet food and demonic rituals. He agreed, and decided to see th biggest drug dealer in town: rainbow dash.

LATER!

angel bought his drugs, but rainbow dash got him a deal. He brought a game home to fluttershy. Something called outlast whistleblower DLC. (Rainbow dash is a troll, isn't she?)

Fluttershy plays outlast whistleblower DLC/OH GOD FINAL BOSS

"Umm.. Angel.. are you sure?" fluttershy asked, while angel continued to point at the game titled: OUTLAST: WHISTLEBLOWER DLC. "but-" angel pointed a gun at fluttershy, stopping her mid-sentence. "ok... you win..." fluttershy conceded. angel looked victorious, so victorious he did not notice Fluttershy's ritual. when he got over himself, it was to see fluttershy putting a blood drop on a ritual circle.

Suddenly, a portal opened above the circle, and twilight's demonic form appeared. she gave one of those corny villain laughs where the bad guy coughs at the end, (which are way overused by the way) and spawned hellish tentacles to drag angel into his worst nightmare.

"THANK YOU FOR SUMMONING ME, MORTAL FOOL!" said twilight, grinning evilly.

Fluttershy looked at her. "You owe me a favor, remember. After all, you wouldn't be here if I had let you die in my shed" she pointed out. twilight sighed.

"what is it?" she asked grudgingly.

"one. I want to stay alive here, just like I let you. two. can I borrow five bucks? Three. Thread does not contain a lapdance"

twilight sighed again, and deposited the money into fluttershy's hoof. she grumbled some rather rude things, and went off to terrorize someone else. fluttershy smiled, for she had gone straight to The lord of nightmares pinkie pie.

She sat down, and began to play outlast whistleblower.

GAME TOO GORY AND SEXUAL FOR A TEEN RATING, PLAY FOOTAGE CUT OUT OF STORY!

Fluttershy cried in the corner. So much blood. She was fine with a little bit for ritual sacrifices, but this was blasphemous. She got to her hooves shaking. Suddenly, the door opened. "You owe rainbow dash five bucks" said twilight.

"Damnit, how did you survive pinkie?"

"The same way I killed cthlulu. I sent her into her worst nightmare. Oh, and blowjobs. Lots of blowjobs"

"Damnit"

"I hear you have a new worst fear. That's good, because Summoning moletsia out of fanfiction is low, even for me. Hechois, dismentium, blaudfor, CRYARMIS!" Twilight said, drawing a circle as she spoke. The words empowered it, and she dropped a shard of souls on the circle. A howling wind grabbed fluttershy, and pulled her in.

"SHITTTT!!" Cried fluttershy, as she was consumed by ravenous undead things with sexual tendencies.

Twilight stood before the throne. She had finally consumed enough souls. She sat down. Celestia stood beside her, waiting for command. "Celestia. You have trained well in dungeons and dragons.. which is good." said twilight. "Today is the day, my faithful cultist" a load of demon tentacles that have nothing to do with porn fell from the roof of twilight's nightmare castle.

"Torus fractious, eternus, blooderg, rathora, VIDIUS, PASTIOS!!!"

Celestia began to glow and be broken apart by the demon tentacles that still have nothing it do with porn "wait... I was loyal to you just it be sacrificed?!"

"How else am I supposed to stop your bitching? It hurts me when you speak... Oh, and I will use your soul to power a master device that brings video games into our world.

"You sick fuck"

Twilight smiled "goodbye, Celestia. Oh, and I am your father"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Lyra was going at it with some guy when the rumbles started. Everyone started running. "Aw fuck, do they not wanna be raped?" She was about to start again when twilight appeared. "Hey twilight, wanna fuck?"

"Perish mortal fool.." the skies blazed, and suddenly it was raining video game characters. The happy wheels main characters crushed ponies, and wisdom gems shot everyone with wisdom-y-ness.  Snipers picked off people one by one, and helicopters went kamikaze. BLOOD BLOOD EVERYWHERE OH GOD there was even a shoop da woop somewhere in there. There was also a big office building falling on ponies, because I am too lazy not creative enough to represent the Stanley parable. Oh, and blowjobs. Lots of blowjobs

And then the mane 2 (the other four were either dead or twilight, and I am too lazy to make an excuse for applejack) were there. Rainbow dash was holding her element and rarity was fainted. Twilight killed them. (It was so fast, I didn't even write any battle scenes!)

And then suddenly spike was there. "Thank you, for when I died I shed my mortal form. I... am god" Spike glowed golden, and he had Angel wings. He shot a big laser at the shoop da woop, and exploded just about everyone. The office got nuked.

Then there was a big crash as they rammed into each other, but twilight summoned cthlulu's soul to eat his head, and ripped him apart. So twilight won.

THE END

"Twi, that story was shit"

"Well guess what spike? I was telling you that to prepare you"

"For what? Because hell no, you are NOT eating my head."

"For the conquest. Celestia made video games available to the public, and I think you are ready for one. on an unrelated note, are you sure I can't eat it?"

"Yes!"

She handed him a laptop, and left the bedroom. Spike looked at rule 34 all night long.

So all was well in the kingdom. None of that actually happened, save for the twilight being insane part, and season one comes to a close. However, since computers are available... "YO DISCORD, STAHP NARRATIN, YOU MOTHAFUKCER. OH GOD WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY STORY?" Nothing duct tape can't fix "BUT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SENSIBLE, YOU PIECE! WAIT.. STOP TYPNG I SAY!" Le nope.

The end.

A turtle dove studios pedophile production.

Why are you still here?

Please go away.

I'll pay you.

You're scaring me.