The Adventures Of Bill The Changeling & The Trinity Of Evil

by 2Bit Dusk

Rating: teen
Tags: Changelings, Original Character, Comedy, Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4745

AHA ! Hello dear horse you have stumbled upon my dungeeon- I mean camp. Follow the adventures of Bill the changeling

AHA ! Hello dear horse my name is kcaj ylenol, Loneliness if you perfer and tonight you give delve into the adventures of a changeling named bill. Good luck and don't die on me because i'm pretty sure Princess Luna is looking for me because . . . . .well that's not important.

Published 2014-08-24 07:40:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-24 07:40:06 UTC

Chapter 1: Who Names Their Kid Bill ?

Author's Note

Hello again ! I must say that this story is my favorite that Iv'e made, the humor really gets going in chapter 2. Check out some of my other stories go ahead, and message me with anything I'm always around ! alone . . . .forever burning Also please forgive my English, born and raised in Quebec

Chapter 1: Who Names Their Kid Bill ?

The winds of summer smacked against my bony face as I waited for my train, the air blew threw the holes in my skull creating a dull hum. It's hard looking the way I look in a world filled with fleshy colorful pony's and animals. Pony's really don't like to look upon someone of my . . . appearance, a look of disgust and anger flashes threw the eyes of most. Tho I've meet a few who have taken pity on me, they are very few however. Damn I wish my train would arrive so I could get away from the pony's, it's not everyday they see a changeling.

After Chrysails failed attempt at the wedding of cadence and I got my face punched in my Rainbow dash I decided to go my own way. I must of a odd sight seeing a Changeling in a purple suit holding a suitcase, alone on a bench. I probably would of scoffed at it myself if I was a normal horse. My names Bill, yes Bill and I'm off to see a job offering for a group called The Mega ( Soon To Be ) Overlords of Chaos and death Of Equestria. Interesting I know, but a job is a job and my belly is empty and bare.

The train roared into view as I showed off my toothy grin, showing off the pink and purple materials. After a few moments of waiting the train coach took a look at my papers.

[ Changeling, Bill
Race : Changeling
Age : 18
Height : 4, 11
Weight : 86 PDs
Verification code :
26086 ]

'' Hmm . . .I guess It's not everyday I get a pony like you, approved but do any funny business your outta here got it? '' The coach said giving me a dirty look. I smiled again but it must of look demonic because he stepped back with a undesirable frown. My dry bony flesh folded into the thick velvet seats. Kids and parents starred my awkwardly my way I guess that's better than being mocked, I suppose. The sun set gleamed with a fiery passion it seemed that I wasn't the only thing being starred at.

After awhile bells and whistles erupted a few seats back of me I shuttered at the thought of who it might be. A extremely tall and thin Stallion almost bony to an extent toured threw the aisle shifting and moving like a shadow. His long mane fell over his shoulders and nearly onto the floor, he wore an eye patch over his left eye with the right shining like a rainbow. He wore a thick black trench coat with high leather boots, he stumbled threw the carriage with no one paying attention.

He stretched open his thin mouth exposing his thin ivory fangs, sharp as steel it looked like. He seemed much to tall for train but he just merely doubled over with his crooked smile. No one seemed to pay attention to him just going on like nothing was out of place, he moved like a snake threw the seats and stood over the passengers just staring at them. Then he shot his tilted face at me, his grin stretched even more now almost taking over his entire face. He started to hum a little song that I did not know.

'' Joan Crawford has risen form the dead, Joan Crawford has risen form the dead ! '' he nearly sang it now as he slipped into the seat across form me. He reeked of sour milk and make up powder, his skin seemed to like pale bone with a thin sheet of flesh stretched over it. His smile now almost to his eyes, half his face is covered in his jagged teeth.

'' Hello Bill you may know me, you may not my name Is Loneliness Jack if you prefer but I like to go by LonleyJack. Iv'e been around a long, long time I was there when Celestia took the crown an i'll be there when she . . . .well I'll leave that part to the wind. Iv'e been watching you bill and I must say I'm impressed. '' Grey fog floated around him like an aura of mist.

'' Uhh . . . Who are you ? '' I asked starring at his Ivory meat hooks for teeth.

'' Uhh you changelings . . .anyway I'm with everybody forever and always, I'm in your mind and i'm not leaving. I'm am constantly around and lurking and creeping upon your most silent of moments. It my help that discord is my uncle's, brother's, aunt's, grandmother's, grandpa's friend's grandfather but anyway . . . His shadow leaving a film on the chair as he got up ringing his bells in whistles, and again nobody answering his call but me.

'' On the day of your death watch the stars and you'll know the the meaning of the universe and transcend the boundary of the mortal plain, I'll see you then Bill fare the well '' With a bony hoof he rooted it in my forehead and vanished. I blinked not knowing what that thing was and why he was here, I looked threw the window and saw the sun rising looks like I was here at ponyvile. I was to go to a nearby cave off the out skirts near the forest, hopefully my map was legit.

The city blinded me with all the . . .colors, I needed to get out of here horses are noticing me. Lucky for me most of the city was huddled towards the square maybe someones showing off ? glad I can just pass by.halfway threw I heard cheering and roars of laughter, if I was a normal horse I would see what all the fuss is about. Half way threw the town with keeping a quick pace a loud rush of wind shot over my head leaving me on the ground.

My bony exterior did little to comfort the fall my suitcase had been sprawled out, when I had tried to pick it up a sky blue hoof found itself on mine.

'' Really again with this ? do you ever give up ? '' she said with the sound of her voice I knew who it was, Rainbow dash. Her hoof ground itself on mine creating intense pain , I was speechless I had hoped to never see her again.

'' Ugh I was just passing by . . .'' I looked around at the ever growing crowd with i'll be it worried looks.

'' Come on whats a changeling doing in ponyvile ? '' she asked as she left go of my hoof sending me scrambling, I gathered my things and tried to leave but she had me boxed in.

'' Hmm . . .I'll let you go if you never come to ponyvile again ! '' she folded her hoofs. The crowd erupted in cheers and threats at my behalf.

'' Okay I promise, I promise '' my voice creaking at the embarrassment of he crowd behind me I ran faster than I ever had out of the city, my only hope now is the cave.

. . .

Oddly out in the middle in the forest the cave entrance seemed covered in banners and black and red balloons. And guarding the lonely entrance was a tall, stringy beanpole of a pony in a metal mask. His mask seemed to be a metal skull mask with red eyes, with poofs of blue fabric where his ears would of been. His thin hoofs filled with stacks of papers and flyers, as I walked into his line of sight he jumped up nearly breaking his neck in my direction.

'' Ugh hello . . .are you here for the auditions ? '' his voice creaked and stammered like somebody going threw puberty.

'' sure I guess . . .where do I go for it ? '' I asked starring up at the pony, it seemed that he had a collier on. He said yes and gave me a few papers and I was headed inside. The cave seemed large but very dark I almost couldn't see, I eventually found a old wobbling chair. After a few minutes of awkward silence pink and red fireworks shot threw the air.

'' Welcome all to your eventual ruler of Equestria STARKILLER ! '' said the unknown voice as a muscly brute of a stallion ran on stage with a metal mask in cape, his mask had three horns two curled and one straight with blood ed eyes slanted. Joining him on stage was the pony form earlier.

'' Yes, yes hello all ! I am STARKILLER ( soon to be ) RULER OF EQUESTRIA ! HA HA HA HA '' His voice felt like steel knives in the wind. The pony seemed to laugh awkwardly along with his leader

'' AND THIS IS MY BROTHER ! EVIL DEAD ! '' he roared as Evil waved at me, the single pony here. They took their seats on the stage in big leather seats.

'' So Mr Changeling tell us why you want to be part of the Trinity Of Evil ? '' taken back at his question I rushed to answer.

'' Ugh how do you know my name ? '' I asked

'' Irrelevant . . .'' he answered.

'' Well . . . I'm a good worker, I was a servant to princess Chyrsails, and I am able to well change to anything I wanted '' They scribbled something on their paper, my blood ran hot.

'' Are you a good cook ? '' Evil asked.

'' Ugh, sure I guess '' I answered feeling eyes watch me from behind me.

'' How about tea ? hmm ? '' he asked again.

'' Well I know how to make . . .sweat tea . . .'' I ground my teeth down pondering the question.

'' Hmm interesting, interesting we have come to a conclusion we have gathered that you are ugly as sin, you have fly's buzzing your head, very small, BUT you can make tea. Hmm after all the entry's today and I must say theirs been hundreds we must say that . . .your approved, welcome to the team ! '' they both clapped their hooves sending a whirl of relief down my way.

'' Now meat your new second in command, and my sister FLOWER BEAM ! '' Fire works shot from all sides as a small little filly in a gas mask shot out from the darkness with a long black cape.

'' I AAAAAM FLOWER BEAM !!! KILLER OF STALLIONS ( soon to be ) AND RULER OF LANDS ! '' Her voice even deeper than her brothers, it chilled me to the bone. She flipped my chair over with only a small touch sending me on stage. Starkiller opened the curtain revealing a giant map of Equestria with a giant red circle marked over Ponyvile.

'' First the Ponyvile ! then the throne HA HA HA HA HA ! '' All three laughed intently as I watched the fan blow their capes in the wind.

Chapter 2: Stealing Fun & Murdering Flowers

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Chapter 3: Stalking Is The New Office Passtime

'' AGGHHHHHHHHH !!! '' I woke up from my dead slumber, the dreams of Rainbow Dash made my organs shiver and squirm. The others looked at me, looks like I interrupted another lecture. I would of loved to sleep on this black stone but it looks like I have more evil to do. Evil dead and Flower beam seemed to knocked out asleep, I wish I was asleep with them. Starkiller stood starring at me with a red pointer towards a little cottage near Ponyvile. A big X crossed it with a red marker, I could feel his steaming red eyes fall on my own.

'' Well at least somebody is awake ! '' he yelled in the dry air.

'' Come brother ! on light of recent events I have come up with a plan to take Ponyvile ! listen up. After careful surveillance Iv'e come up with our ideal target, a lonely little cottage that holds a shy mare Fluttershy ! we take her for ransom and boom we get the town ! '' I cringed already noticing various hols in his plot. I felt my throat close as thoughts of Fluttershy's kicks to my face, I swear the quiet ones kick the hardest.

'' Very well mi'lord '' I said gritting my teeth.

'' MU HA HA HA HA soon ! soon Ponyvile will be ours ! go to the armory and fetch our armor we ride for Fluttershy ! MU HA HA HA HA HA ! ''. I gathered the mark 2 stealth armor, a leather and black fabric suit with night-vision goggles. The suit clung to my body for dear life, Starkiller looked like a circus freak it would be hard to sneak when your a eight foot mask wearing ( soon to be ) overlord. We walked into their garage, a large row of carriages and and vehicles all painted black, red, or silver I wonder how much money they had and how the came upon it ? Starkiller trotted over a sliver and black motor-carriage with what looked like black wings on the back.

'' Get in '' he jumped into the carriage and I soon followed behind. We zipped threw the cave entrance and out into the woods, the moon barley lighting our. It took awhile of awkward silence before I turned on the radio loud death metal blared in the woods as we came upon the cottage. We settled on a hill adjacent from the little cabin, Starkiller pulled out from a black sack, a easy twelve foot long sniper rifle.

'' Ugh sir whats that for ? '' I asked gawking at the giant stallion adjusting the long, steel gun.

'' Umm . . .just for protection, you know if anything goes south '' he said with a nonchalant tone. I decided not to question it anymore, it would do no good. I took out my binoculars at starred threw window at the yellow mare, looking small and shy even alone. She seemed to be feeding a rabbit of some kind, she rabbit threw back the salad in her face. What was it about her ? she seemed to get more beautiful each time I saw here, my hatred grew for her.

'' Get in their friend '' Starkiller said. My cheeks blushed at he words.

'' WHAT WHY !?! '' I yelled. he slapped me on my head.

'' You know . . .surveillance here take this '' he handed me a needle with green goo in it. It was a tranquilizer, I would have to get right up close to her to knock her out. I winced at the idea, remembering the day she kicked me in my . . .family jewels. I took a breath of courage and sniffed the rosy air.

'' ( Sigh ) Lets do this '' I stood up and pulled down my night vision goggles and ran down the hill towards her home. Threw my ear piece I could hear Starkiller say a resounding ' Huzzah ! '. Like a shadow I crept and creep-ed my threw her garden and up her chime as I slide threw the stone structure I could hear laughter and other voices ! I stopped right over the ash and listened to their stories and laughter.

'' So what are we going to do about that ' Trinity of Evil '' gang or whatever, I mean that changeling guy is bad news '' I cringed at Rainbow Dash's voice. They went on and on how they could solve the problem called me, this went of for a good twenty minutes. My arms started to wobble and my hooves grew numb and unbearable. I was gonna fall and before I did I had to change into . . .

SWOOOOSH !

'' Princess Celestia ? twilight answered, I put on my best impersonating voice and shrugged off that I had shot threw the chime.

'' Oh umm . . .yes darling you know just a midnight stroll you know nothing strange HA HA HA HA '' I laughed it off awkwardly dusting off the ash and soot.

'' Ugh okay . . .well come and have some tea with us ! '' said Twilight as she gestured towards me. Before I could say no she sat me down and put a cup of tea in front of me, it smelled of maple leaves. Their eyes pressured me to drink it and so I did, I had to be careful because I couldn't hold up my image for long.

'' Ha ha I'm sorry girls but I must speak with Fluttershy for a moment please excuse us ha ha ha '' with more awkward laughter I grabbed Fluttershy and headed outside ignoring Twilight's obvious frown.

'' Ugh did something happen Celestia ? '' she asked in her weak tone.

'' Ha ha ha nothing darling now sleep '' I plunged the needle in her arm and piled her on my now normal back and ran off into the night. Seconds later The six came out calling for Celestia and Fluttershy, I'm pretty sure that they now know that It wasn't the real Celestia. I ran up the hill and threw Fluttrshy's sleeping body into the back and with a splitting grin Starkiller drove us outta their, my blood still pumping.

. . .
We all starred at Fluttershy as Flower beam slapped her up. She clearly did not know where she was because she stared crying and sobbing for here friends.

'' No, no please don't cry '' I ran o here aid but Flower beam slapped me away.

'' MU HAHAHAHA ! good, good now Fluttershy tell us what you know about the RUSSIANS ! '' Starkiller slammed his hoof into the ground, wait whats a Russian ?

'' I, . . i don't know what your talking about I JUST WANNA GO HOME ! '' She cried. I wanted to comfort her but I don't think that would've been a good idea.

'' Fine then, Flower beam get the feathers MU HAHAHAHAH ! '' he and Flower beam exchanged a laugh as she got out a ivory box with falcon feathers in it. She grabbed one and held it under Fluttershy's hoof.

'' TELL US CELESTIA'S SECRETS ! '' He yelled at her.

'' I don't know anything ! '' the hissed back. Starkiller gave a nod of approval to Flower beam and she . . . .started gliding the feather against her hoof making Fluttershy cry with laughter.

'' HA HA HA STOP IT ! It's tickling me ! HAHAHAH ''. But Flower beam did not yield.

'' HAHAHAHAH ! YES SUFFER FOOL, SUFFER HAHAHAH ! '' he continued to laugh. I slumped down in my black marble chair and sighed at the laughing mare.

Chapter 4: Bill the conqueror

Chapter 4: Bill the conqueror

To my dismay I slipped awake on the marble table, hours and hours of constant and laughter from Fluttershy. Flower beam finally stopped with Fluttershy's so called torture. Her body had exhausted and limp from hours of laughter, Starkiller stood over her with his cape flowing in the wind tho we had no windows open.

'' HAHAH Very well thank you for the information darling, now ! we have no use for you Flower beam dispose of her '' he said wiping his head towards me and Evil dead. Flower beam hit a gigantic red button sending Futtershy skyrocketing out of the roof of the cave screaming a soft ' WEEEEEEE ! ' all the way.

'' Dear brothers and sisters we have the information we need hahahah !, all of Ponyvile with be in the main square this evening for the summer festival. We shall strike then and their in the HEART OF THE CITY ! MU HAHAHAH ! '' His cape now jetting the high winds.

'' Ugh . . . .whatever you say sir '' I said picking at my scabs.

'' Eat well today for we are ramming ourselves in our enemy's fortress '' Evil dead shot waving his hooves in the air in approval. The three of us went into the armory for what must be our glories battle, lets just say I wasn't feeling it. As we walked threw the black marble halls war music blared, I guess we really were going off to war. After we approached the armory Starkiller pressed a button and the wall flipped around reveling machine guns, swords, bazookas, javelins, pistols, mini guns, shields and maces. My eyes grew and a smile cracked across my face.

'' Load up children ! '' Starkiller thew on a leather coat and strapped on two bazookas and at least three swords on his back, he put on a pair of thick black glasses over his mask. He threw me and the others the same outfit it reminded me of a bad science fiction movie I mean my Clestia was it tacky ( wink wink, hint hint ). Flower beam to towards a pair of silver and gold short swords with a ak-p7 strapped on her back. I heard sick laughter coming from Evil dead.

'' HAHAHAHAH ! IT'S ALIVE, MY BABY DARLING'S ALIVE !! HAHAHAH ! '' He ran out of a dark room with a twenty foot long bazooka / mini gun hybrid. Missiles and gun barrels jutted out in weird angles and positions all in a nice silver and yellow finish. He seemed like a child in a candy store now. I didn't have a heart for big guns or steel swords, I picked up a dinky little pocket knife. Starkiller slapped it out of my hooves and wanted me to try again.

This time thinking about the coolness factor I chose a twenty foot sword that had a gun attachment in the hilt. I pressed a pink button his hoof guard and the blue went aflame in brilliant blue flames, barley singing the top of Starkillers war helmet.

'' Come worriers ! to Ponyvile HAHAHAHAH ! '' Screamed Starkiller as we all piled into a little white van, we were headed for Ponyvile. Evil dead started playing black metal threw the radio, giving me goosebumps down my spine. The night was heavy with a warm overtone, the air was like a sheet of warmness. The stars over head burned into the sky with a fiery passion as if the were dying and this was their last call for help.

The town hurried into view and the bright orange, yellow and pink lights danced along the buildings, Starkiller wasn't kidding the whole town was in the square. Pony's danced and cheered with glee, kids ran and played threw the streets and their parents exchanging memories of the past with each other. They sipped on flavored juice and wine, soda and punch I ground my teeth at the sight I suppose my time with Chyrasils has made me jaded . . .perhaps.

My eyes fell on Rarity, Rainbow dash, Flutershy, Applejack, Pinkie pie blowing whistles and pounding on drums like a certain Lonelyjack. We flowed out of the van with weapons at our sides.

'' Pony's of Ponyvile we have come to conquer you now KNEEL BEFORE THE TRINITY OF EVIL MU HAHAHAHA ! '' He stood on top of the van swinging his bazooka's around. The various pony's ran into their homes and locked the doors leaving the mane six with us. They got up and glided towards us, I could feel Applejacks gaze on me.

'' HA ! you think you can take us on HA ! go back home before this gets ugly '' Rainbow Dash scoffed at us.

'' Very well if this is your final decision YOU WILL BE DESTROYED ! '' yelled Starkiller. Out of nowhere Evil Dead slide in front of the six and fired his doomsday weapon.

'' I HOPE YOU LIKE LEAD ! '' The buildings around them vanished leaving rubble and flames, guessing this was my Que to attack I clumsily turned on my sword. A sudden gush of pain shot inside me as I slammed against a lamp post.

'' YOU BURNED MY ORCHID YOU, YOU BIG JERK ! '' She threw a ax at my head barley chipping my cheek bone, I got and drew my sword and rushed at her, she grabbed out another one and clashed with mine. Her blunt metal forced my back away, I shot at her hooves to try to knock her down to the ground. He dodged them and threw another ax at me, it nearly found itself into mt knee. I brushed it of and took a large swipe at her waste.

She jumped up in the air and kicked me down into the mud. She took off her at and threw it at me, I barley blocked it with my sword and it flew back to apple's hooves.

'' Jeez what is that made of ?! '' I yelled with mud in my mouth.

'' 100 percent pure steel YEE HA ! '' she ran towards me with her hat swinging, I could hear choir music blast in my ears, I rushed towards her our blades clashing. I glanced at Evil Dead shooting buildings and landmarks with his god gun while dodging Rainbows dash's swipes at him.

'' Come on I thought you were fast ! HAHAHA ! '' He yelled with eminence happiness he pointed his gun barrels at Dash and fired, hot white and yellow flashes from the muzzle flashed on his face. Dash dodged them all and her hoof landed in his face sending hi into a cupcake shop. Applejack slashed at my lower hoofs but I dodged and flew up on a surrounding building. My eyes fell upon Flower beam duel wielding her swords as Rarity and pinkie their their hooves at her, she dodged them all and kicked Rarity in the face sending her plummeting down on the street.

Flower beam flew up above Pinkie pie and slammed herself into the mare, the two fell into a bakery. Taking huge breaths I glanced at Starkiller dodging and avoiding Twilight's magic spells, while he fired randomly into the air. The air around them distorting and fragmenting. The roof under me erupted into spectacular flurry of ruble, I'm glad I have wings. Applejack came with a look of pure anger on her face, if I was a lesser pony I would ran away. She took huge slashes at me and out of instinct I slashed towards her hoof.With a faint scream he double back holding her burned hoof. I didn't want to hurt anypony I was just along for the ride.

'' Uhh are you okay ? . . . . '' I trotted towards her for help until BANG. My face collided with the pavement on the street. I saw Starkiller land next to me, then Evil dead, then flower beam. We all go up but the mane six stood across from us with stern faces.

'' Were turning you into Celestia ! '' Twilight spoke with her crown on and her wings wide.

'' Hmmm yes . . . .we'll go quietly, FLOWER BEAM HIT THE SMOKE ! '' Starkiller yelled at flower beam. She drew a pad and pressed a button, the surrounding are around us blew up in smoke. Starkiller grabbed evil dead and ran towards the forest, I grabbed Flower beam and put her on my shoulders leaving the expensive weapons in the road. As I ran I thought to myself about my new family of villains and a smile slowly split my mouth as I herd the curses of Rainbow Dash behind us.