The Adventures of Cyborg Braeburn

by totallynotabrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Apple Bloom, Braeburn, Comedy, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Main 6
Length: 8456

Exactly what it sounds like

The Appleloosa Massacre left Braeburn barely clinging to life. A mysterious pony gives him a second chance, but Braeburn soon realizes that there might be fates worse than death.

A comedy.

Published 2012-04-18 21:54:04 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-23 16:01:45 UTC

Chapter 1

This is a spinoff of my story, A Dream. It’s not required reading.

The Adventures of Cyborg Braeburn

A sudden jolt brought Braeburn awake. He glanced around quickly, taking in the interior of the train car as it rumbled over the tracks towards Ponyville.

The stallion pushed his hat back and kneaded his forehead with a hoof. He’d been having an unpleasant dream.

No, scratch that, it was a certified nightmare. The worst of it was, it was merely a replay of something that had actually happened to him.

“Can I get you anything, sir?” asked the female train attendant.

“Just water, thanks.” Braeburn was trying to detox. The hospital had so many drugs in his system that for a while he didn’t know which way was up. They told him the vertigo was caused by an inner ear problem. No, it wasn’t a problem, it was missing. One of his ears, that is.

The attendant was a professional and didn’t appear to notice his various disabilities. The same could not be said of the little filly sitting with her mother across the aisle. Braeburn turned to look at her, revealing the side of his face that was covered in bandages. She quickly stopped staring at him.

The buffalo hoof that Braeburn caught in the face had peeled the outside layer of his head like an apple. The ear, the eye, and a good portion of the skin had been pulped.

But that wasn’t so bad, really. Loosing half his hearing and vision was something he could deal with. The three broken, ruined legs were what Braeburn really missed.

He could practically hear the questions the little filly would be asking once he was out of earshot. Mommy, what was wrong with that stallion? Is he like a puzzle with pieces missing?

And she would reply, You should pity him. He was butchered once by a raging stampede and again by ridiculous doctors.

Braeburn shook his head. He was either taking too many drugs, or not enough.

“Here you are, sir.” The train attendant came back with a small bottle of water on a tray. Braeburn used his left foreleg to get the bottle into position. He grabbed the neck with his teeth and tilted his head back. It was pretty good water.

In setting the bottle back down, he fumbled and dropped it. “Sorry,” he said.

The attendant picked the bottle up. Braeburn saw her eyes briefly flick to the bandaged stumps of his other three legs.

“It’s no trouble,” she replied. “Where will you be getting off?”

“Ponyville.”

“That’s the next stop. I’ll help you if you need it.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

As she walked away, Braeburn glanced down at his stubby legs in disgust. He looked like some kind of freaky pony-dachshund. He didn’t like being pitied.

Braeburn’s wheelchair had been neatly folded up and stowed in the overhead compartment. The attendant got it down and helped him into it as the train began to slow, approaching the station.

As the train ground to a halt, Braeburn was helped out of the car and deposited on the platform. His cousin Applejack was waiting for him, along with another pony.

“It’s good to see ya,” said Applejack. She smiled, but it looked a bit forced as she saw the extent of his injuries.

“Howdy,” replied Braeburn. “I hope I’m not imposing on your hospitality.”

“Oh, nonsense.” The mare waved a hoof. “You need to recover, and Ah don’t reckon you can do that stuck in that little Appleloosa clinic.”

“Damn, you look like a wreck,” said the other pony. He was a brighter shade of orange than Applejack and had a black mane and tail.

"Hush up, Valiant," said Applejack sternly. Braeburn remembered that the stallion had been with AJ and her friends when they visited Appleloosa shortly before the buffalo overran the town. There was something about him that Braeburn distrusted, but if he was friends with Applejack, he couldn’t be that bad.

“He came to help me fetch you from the train,” explained Applejack. “It’s a little bit of a walk out to Sweet Apple Acres.”

“Well, I offered to give you a ride,” said Valiant.

Applejack shook her head. “Braeburn’s here to relax. Ah don’t think he needs to be exposed to your crazy robots right now.”

Braeburn wanted to ask what a "robot" was, but AJ launched into a different subject before he could open his mouth.

“Ah hope you’re hungry. We outdid ourselves for dinner, if Ah do say so myself.” She and Valiant pushed the wheelchair towards the farm. Applejack provided most of the conversation. Valiant seemed to have fallen into a sullen silence.

Braeburn had visited Sweet Apple Acres once or twice before. The whole orchard was greener and lusher than any in Appleloosa. Actually, there weren’t any orchards in Appleloosa anymore. Bucking buffalo.

The rest of Braeburn’s family in Ponyville waited on the front porch of the house. Granny Smith sat up straighter in her rocking chair, squinting at Braeburn and the other two as they approached.

Big Macintosh, Applejack’s brother, stepped off the porch and met them halfway across the lawn. Trailing in his wake was Apple Bloom, the younger sister.

“Howdy,” said Big Mac.

“Hey cousin Braeburn,” said Apple Bloom.

Valiant stepped out from behind the wheelchair. “I need to talk to you for a minute, kid,” he said to the filly. He and Apple Bloom walked a few steps away. Braeburn heard the phrase “your giant robot” come up in their conversation.

Macintosh took over pushing the wheelchair. “Are things good around here?” asked Braeburn.

“Eeyup," answered Mac, who was a stallion of few words.

“Well, it’s the beginning of cider season,” said Applejack, walking beside the wheelchair. “A couple of high-falutin' showponies came by earlier today and challenged us to a cider makin’ competition. They got this fancy machine they think can whip us.”

“When’s the competition?” asked Braeburn.

“Tomorrow. Don’t you worry, we’re going to win!”

“My stars,” said Granny Smith as the wheelchair approached the house. “It’s good to see you, Braeburn. Come inside, and let’s get you comfortable.”

Valiant was apparently not invited to dinner.

“Ah guess we wouldn't have turned him down if he asked,” said Applejack, “but it’s probably for the better. There’s somethin’ wrong with that pony.”

"He ain't so bad," said Apple Bloom.

Big Macintosh's face showed that he agreed with AJ, but he said nothing.

The meal was excellent. Most members of the Apple family were good cooks, but all the stops had been pulled out for Braeburn’s visit. Good family and good eats put him in a happy mood. He went to sleep that night on a spare bed, feeling better than he had in a long time.

Some small noise come to Braeburn, and his good eye slid open sleepily. There was a bare light bulb above him, hanging from a roughly finished ceiling.

He tried to turn his head to have a look around. This wasn’t the same room that he’d fallen asleep in. Something restrained him. It felt like a strap across his forehead.

His good leg was strapped down too, and it seemed like the rest of his body was being held firmly to the hard surface that he was lying on. Braeburn began to panic.

A pink pony with a fluffy mane pranced into view. “He’s awake!” she called, giggling.

The stallion named Valiant appeared. “Well Braeburn, are you ready to get started?”

“Get started with what?”

“It’s an experimental medical procedure that’s never been tried before.”

“What the hay is that supposed to mean?” Braeburn had had enough of doctors, thank you very much.

“Hang on.” Valiant disappeared for a moment, and returned dragging a collection of steel and machinery.

“This,” he said, pointing a hoof at the pile, “is going inside you."

“Oh Celestia! Get me out of here!” screamed Braeburn. He began struggling to get free.

“Whoa, relax,” said Valiant. “We’re here to help. Pinkie, do you have the knife?”

“Sure do.” The pink pony produced a large cleaver.

“What the—where did you even get this?” demanded Valiant.

Pinkie shrugged. “Just something I had around.”

“This is not what I asked for, Pinkie! I wanted a small precise scalpel, not a freaking meat cleaver! This is for chopping stuff. He’s already been chopped!”

“Please don’t kill me,” squeaked Braeburn.

“Shut up.” Valiant tossed the knife into a shallow metal pan that contained a few other tools. He picked up a glass jug filled with clear liquid and jammed the spout into Braeburn’s mouth.

The liquid burned as it flowed down his throat. Braeburn choked, not able to drink it all. Valiant pulled the container away and let the stricken pony catch his breath.

“What—what is that stuff?”

“I’m not sure. I think about one hundred sixty proof.” Valiant took a swig from the jug, grimacing slightly at the taste. He poured the rest over the tools, giving Braeburn a wink. “Got to sterilize everything.”

He tossed the now-empty container over his shoulder. Pinkie jammed a gag in Braeburn’s mouth as Valiant picked up the knife.

Mercifully, Braeburn passed out.

To his great surprise, he woke up later to the smell of fresh baked goods.

Chapter 2

A pink pony came bouncing down the stairs and leaped over to where Braeburn was lying strapped to the table.

“Good morning!” she exclaimed. She was much, much happier than he.

“Where am I?” Braeburn managed to croak. He had a tremendous headache and various other pains throughout his body.

“You’re in the basement of Sugarcube Corner, the best bakery in Ponyville! Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie. I helped with your operation, so I guess that makes me a nurse. Oh! A synonym for nurse is candy-striper! That’s totally cool, because I actually stripe candy, too!”

“What did I do to deserve this?” muttered Braeburn, mostly to himself.

“Oh, Valiant had some crazy plan. He said he felt a little guilty about what happened to you, so he decided to make it all better. Would you like something to eat?” Pinkie produced a tray of fresh cupcakes, seemingly from nowhere.

Despite his misery, Braeburn thought that that sounded excellent. “Sure, I’d love one.”

“Now be careful,” cautioned Pinkie as she held a cupcake up to his open mouth. “We meant to fix that big hole in the side of your face last night, but you know how time flies when you’re doing groundbreaking surgery.”

Braeburn took a small bite, chewing carefully. It was not the best thing he had ever tasted, but at the moment, it was heavenly. He felt like a traitor to his applebucking cutie mark, but if cupcakes grew on trees, he would have taken that job in a heartbeat.

The door slammed open and Valiant came in. “We’ve got to hurry, I think Mr. and Mrs. Cake are beginning to suspect something.”

“Oh, silly,” said Pinkie. “They never come down here.”

Valiant shrugged. “Anyway, I’ve got the rest of the ensemble.” He showed Pinkie a concave piece of metal with several pieces of hardware stuck to it. Braeburn had no idea what any of the equipment was, and began to feel nervous again.

“With the screw anchors and the electronic nerve interfaces already installed, this should be easy,” said Valiant. “Get the tweezers, Pinkie.”

Working together, the two of them began stringing thin wires to electronics mounted on the piece of metal. When everything was attached, Valiant turned to Braeburn.

“Hold still. I mean, like, pretend-you’re-a-rock still. We can’t have any mistakes here.” To Braeburn’s horror, the two ponies began plugging the wires into the damaged side of his head. His other eye rolled frantically, but he couldn’t see what they were doing. Despite his dread, he decided to lie motionless in order to prevent any further harm from coming to him.

“All right, that looks good,” said Valiant. “Get the battery, Pinkie. Let’s see if everything works.”

The pink mare grabbed something small and silvery. It looked like no power source Braeburn had ever seen before. She slipped it inside the metal device, amid the nest of wires.

“All right, this might give you a little shock,” said Valiant. He fiddled with something.

Braeburn had been expecting an electrical shock. He got one, but that wasn’t what surprised him. Suddenly, he could see! He had no idea where the view was coming from, but it seemed to be connected to the piece of metal Valiant was holding.

Braeburn saw the stallion examine the device closely. “Seems to be working,” he said. He grinned. “What happens if I do this?” He tilted the device quickly, making Braeburn’s vision flash around the room like crazy.

Braeburn shut his eye, but to his surprise, the vision kept going. It seemed that he couldn’t turn off whatever device was feeding him images.

“Sorry about that,” said Valiant. “Just screwing with you.” He and Pinkie lowered the piece of metal until it touched the ruined half of Braeburn’s skull. They put in a few fasteners to hold it in place. Valiant tapped the metal with a hoof. It made a hollow sound.

Wait, he could hear from that side now, too? Braeburn concentrated, and sure enough he could make out sounds from that direction.

“Rarity ain’t got shit on me,” said Valiant, grinning. “How’s that for a makeover? All right, time to get you up.” He loosened the strap holding down Braeburn’s head and moved down his body to undo the rest of the restraints.

Braeburn sat up slowly. Somehow, he had gained sight and sound. He was overjoyed. Then he looked down and let out a blood curdling scream.

The three missing legs had been replaced with shiny metal and strange machinery. The parts appeared to begin where his sumps ended. He thrashed wildly, and ended up on the floor, his limbs flailing.

“Calm down!” shouted Valiant. “Do you have any idea how dangerous that stuff is?” He jumped on top of Braeburn, wrapping a foreleg across his throat. The sudden loss of air only caused the apple farmer to struggle harder, but only as long as his breath lasted.

Valiant let him up before he blacked out. “Now to you promise to behave?”

“Guh…wha…what did you do to me?” Braeburn wheezed.

“I fixed you.”

“With machinery?!”

Valiant shrugged. “And what other way would you have preferred? Stem cell research is unheard of in Equestria.”

Braeburn sat up from the floor, staring at his forelegs. One was natural and organic. The other was steel, attached to him freakishly. His hind legs were also mechanical.

“How does it all work?” he asked.

“I have no idea,” said Valiant.

“But…you did it!”

“No, I installed it. The electronics, the battery power source, and the hardware all came from a time traveling robot that I defeated and then reverse-engineered.”

“Really?” said Pinkie. “How come I’ve never heard this story before?”

“Uh…blame it on Discord,” said Valiant. That seemed to appease Pinkie.

“So where do I go from here?” asked Braeburn, forlornly.

“Let’s get you on your, um, feet,” said Valiant. He helped Braeburn to stand. The metal hooves clanked sharply on the floor.

“All right, walk to the end of the room and come back,” ordered Valiant. Braeburn took a few tentative steps. It felt like the new legs weren’t quite the right length, and his gait was completely unnatural. However, he did manage to stumble over to the wall.

Braeburn glanced to the side as he steadied himself for the return trip. There was an old mirror resting forgotten in one corner of the basement. His reflection was horrifying.

Half his head had been capped with steel. The new ear was a cup-shaped piece of sheet metal with electronics inside. The new eye was made of glass and glowed a dull red from within. It contrasted terribly with the green iris of his other eye.

Braeburn’s knees started to shake, even the metallic ones. He collapsed to the floor, eyes wide and terrified. Once again, he was only able to close the one eye. The electronic replacement remained open, preventing Braeburn from escaping the horrors in front of him.

Valiant facehoofed. “Jesus Christ, what a pansy.”

It took a lot of convincing and several more cupcakes, but Pinkie and Valiant got Braeburn up and walking again. He seemed to be getting better.

“I really should be getting to work,” said Pinkie. “The Cakes are probably wondering what we’re doing down here.”

“Keep them distracted, and we’ll make our escape,” said Valiant. Pinkie mounted the stairs and could be heard telling Mr. and Mrs. Cake something about a fire in the kitchen.

“All right, if you can make the steps, you can do anything,” said Valiant.

Somewhat more confident in his prosthetics, Braeburn managed to make his way up to ground level. The inside of the bakery was decorated with wild colors and everything looked like food. Valiant led him outside.

The street was deserted. “They’re probably all over at the farm getting cider,” said Valiant. “Why don’t we head over there?”

Braeburn’s strides were getting smoother, although he still clanked with every step. Valiant appeared to be watching his progress appreciatively.

“Tell me,” said Braeburn. “Just how did you get into the business of turning ponies into freaks?”

Valiant shrugged off the insult like he hadn’t heard it. “I’ve got a couple of theories.”

“Let’s hear them.”

“All right. One, I’m actually a creature called a human who was somehow transported to your dimension and turned into a pony. Two, I’m actually a creature called a human who is in the middle of a weird dream, and you’re all figments of my imagination. Three, I’m just a pony who is completely insane and thinks he’s human.”

“I don’t like any of those theories,” said Braeburn.

“Tough.” They kept walking.

As expected, there was a large crowd at Sweet Apple Acres. A strange machine was parked near the cider stand, and two well-groomed unicorn showponies appeared to be getting it ready. The Apple family was nearby, setting up their cider-making equipment.

The Mayor of Ponyville seemed to be organizing the event. She spoke to the crowd. “The teams have one hour to produce as much cider as they can, after which the barrels will be counted, and the winner will be named the sole cider provider for all of Ponyville! The teams are the Flim Flam Brothers, and the Apple Family!”

Sole cider provider? That can’t be good, thought Braeburn. None of his family had mentioned what a serious competition this was when they were talking the day before.

“So this is open to any member of the Apple family?” asked Valiant.

“That’s right,” said one of the showponies. He and his brother both seemed very confident that they would be the winners.

“Cool,” said Valiant. “Hey Braeburn, come over here!”

A startled gasp came from the crowd as all eyes swung to Braeburn. He walked slowly over to where Valiant was standing. His footsteps clanked, and his unblinking electronic eye seemed to bore into the soul of anypony who looked at it.

The whole crowd screamed and ran in all directions.

“Uh, Flim?” said one of the showponies.

“Yes Flam?” replied his brother.

“I don’t want to have a competition against the Apple family anymore.” The two of them quickly packed up their machine and zoomed away.

“Braeburn, what in tarnation happened to you?” said Applejack. “And where have you been?”

“Dr. Valiant got me walking again.” As much grief as the pony had put Braeburn through, he had to admit that it felt good to move under his own power again. He smiled lopsidedly, because half his face was missing.

“Valiant ain’t a doctor,” said Apple Bloom.

“You aren’t?” shouted Braeburn.

Valiant shrugged. “Yeah, you would never agreed to let me do that to you if I confessed that I didn’t know anything about anatomy.”

“I didn’t agree to let you do it anyway!”

“Dude, you’re the six-million-bit pony,” said Valiant, getting in Braeburn’s face. “Six million bits in debt to me. That stuff wasn’t cheap.”

“Uh, can we make you some cider instead?” said Applejack.

Chapter 3

Braeburn rolled over in bed, stuffing his face into the pillow. The joy he had felt at taking his first steps in months was tempered by the anguish he’d been forced to go though.

“At least you don’t have to work out anymore,” Valiant had told him. “Maybe not literally buns of steel, but pretty close, right?”

Braeburn squeezed his eye shut. The electronic replacement on the other side of his face did not respond, and continued feeding an image into his brain. All he wanted was to sleep, and there was no way that could happen if he couldn’t find a way to block out his vision.

Sighing, Braeburn sat up in bed. He was seriously considering going outside to find some mud to coat the electronics with.

Luna’s moon filtered in through the curtains. Braeburn had closed them as well as he could, but the trickle of light was enough to annoy him.

The whole town thought he was some kind of monster. His relatives here at Sweet Apple Acres hadn’t been so quick to judge, but Braeburn noticed how much differently they treated him now. Strangely, Valiant was the only pony whose attitude hadn't changed.

The strange pony was troubling. Braeburn had asked Applejack about him.

“He ain’t right,” his cousin had replied. “He’s rude, spiteful, and lies when it pleases him. At the same time, though, he’s smart, works hard when he wants to, and always keeps his promises.”

Applejack told Braeburn that Valiant had arrived in Ponyville shortly before the Summer Sun Celebration. While Braeburn hadn’t been present, everypony in Equestria knew the story of the ill-fated holiday when Nightmare Moon had returned. Claiming his cousin as one of the Elements of Harmony that defeated her had gotten Braeburn a few pats on the back in Appleoosa.

As much as Braeburn hated to admit it, getting help from the orange stallion might be his only chance at returning to a normal life. He decided to go see Valiant the next day.

Braeburn eventually found a solution to his problem by draping his hat over his ever-watchful electronic eye. It was fitful sleep to be sure, but it was better than nothing.

“I was thinking of going to town today,” said Braeburn at breakfast.

“That’s probably not a good idea, sugarcube,” said Applejack. She finished up at the stove and brought the food over to the table.

“Maybe you need some kind of cloak or disguise,” suggested Granny.

“Eeyup,” agreed Mac.

Applejack thought for a moment. “Ah think we’ve still got Pa’s old duster in the closet somewhere. It goes clear to the ground.” She went to find the weathered coat.

“You can come with me on the way to school,” said Apple Bloom.

Braeburn nodded. “I think I’d like that.”

“Here we go,” said Applejack, returning to the kitchen. The long duster she carried with her almost matched the color of Braeburn’s hat. True to her word, it looked like it would cover him to his hooves.

“Thanks.” Braeburn got up and slipped the coat on. It was heavier than it looked, but that didn’t trouble him. He shuffled his legs a little to make sure they stayed hidden.

“Come on Braeburn, it’s time to go!” said Apple Bloom. Braeburn hadn’t finished his breakfast, but decided that he shouldn’t keep the filly waiting.

There was no way that Braeburn could think of to hide the metal plate on the side of his head, so he resolved to just keep his hat pulled low. He followed Apple Bloom outside to the barn.

The filly threw open the doors. Braeburn stopped in his tracks, greeted with the last thing he had been expecting. It was some kind of large machine balanced on two legs. It towered over him.

“What in tarnation…”

“This is Valiant’s old robot,” said Apple Bloom. “He lost it in the lake, but when my friends and I were trying to get deepwater salvage cutie marks, we brought it back up. He said we could keep it.”

Well, Valiant may not know much about pony anatomy, but if this was his old work, Braeburn felt a little more confident in his prosthetics. Apple Bloom showed him how to climb into the robot’s cockpit and the two of them set off.

Braeburn held on for dear life. The swaying motion of the machine took some getting used to. Down the streets of the town, ponies moved nervously out of the way of the ungainly machine, but they didn’t seem outright scared of it. Braeburn wondered how much time they’d had to adjust.

“Where did you want to go?” asked Apple Bloom. “I have a few minutes before I have to pick up the girls and get to school.”

“I wanted to see Valiant.”

Apple Bloom brought the robot to a stop outside the Ponyville library. “He stays here with Twilight.”

“Are they…involved with each other?” asked Braeburn.

“Dating? No. Valiant said some really bad words the last time I asked him about that.” Apple Bloom shrugged.

“Thanks for the ride,” said Braeburn, climbing down. The borrowed coat hid him well, and nopony paid any attention to him as the robot lumbered away.

Braeburn raised a hoof and knocked on the library door. After a moment, it swung open. Braeburn dropped his eyes. He’d been expecting somepony taller to answer.

“Whoa,” said Spike, Twilight Sparkle’s dragon assistant. Braeburn had met him once before in Appleoosa. He stared with apprehension at Braeburn’s modified face.

“Hello Spike. I just came by for a visit.”

Having decided that Braeburn was not a threat, Spike invited him in. “What happened to you?” the dragon asked.

“It’s complicated.” Braeburn didn’t know Spike that well, and had no idea how he’d react if he found out about what had happened to the rest of his body. He’d prefer if Twilight was present.

Snoring on the couch in the front room was Valiant. Braeburn glanced out the window. The sun was already well up, but still the pony slept.

“Did he have a long night or something?” Braeburn asked.

Spike shrugged. “I don’t really know what’s up with his sleep schedule. He kind of goes to bed and gets up whenever.”

“Is somepony there, Spike?” called a female voice.

“It’s Braeburn,” the dragon answered.

Twilight Sparkle came down the stairs from the upper floor of the library. She seemed somewhat hesitant when she saw her guest. Her purple coloring was distinctive, and Braeburn remembered seeing her in the crowd at the failed cider making competition.

As a friend of Applejack’s and as another Element of Harmony, Braeburn thought that she would be more receptive to his condition.

He removed his hat. “Ms. Sparkle.”

“Uh, Twilight, please.” She seemed distracted by his face. It looked like Braeburn would have to get used to that with everypony he met.

“I came by hoping to talk to Valiant.”

“So wake him up,” said Twilight.

“I didn’t want to intrude.”

“He’d do the same to you,” said Twilight. She walked over to the couch and poked the sleeping pony. “Get up, Valiant.”

“Screw you, Twilight.”

Braeburn’s good ear jumped. He would never talk to a lady that way.

Twilight either didn’t mind, or was used to it. “Braeburn’s here.”

“Eh, fine.” Valiant rolled off the couch and got to his hooves. His mane was tangled and his eyes were bleary. “What’s up?”

“I need help. I can’t sleep like this.” Braeburn clunked a hoof against the metal half of his head.

Valiant shrugged. “Well, I guess I could do some tinkering. Do you want to do it here, or go over to Sugarcube Corner and have Pinkie help?”

Braeburn gasped. “I’m not going back in that basement!”

Valiant laughed. “Yeah, some crazy things have happened down there. That’s where Pinkie—” he shook his head. “Er, never mind. Anyway, have a seat and I’ll get my tools.”

Valiant walked out of the room. “What kind of problem sleeping were you having?” asked Twilight.

Braeburn explained to her the problems with his electronic eye. Valiant came back shortly with a small kit and began removing the external covers on Braeburn’s head to access the wiring inside.

“One last thing,” said Valiant. He took out a bottle and took a swig from it.

“This is not the kind of thing you should be doing drunk!” Twilight scolded.

“Well, if I wasn’t liquored up, I’d probably puke at the sight of the inside of his skull,” said Valiant. “Besides, it relaxes me and takes the shake out of my hooves.”

He took another sip. “Unless you wanted to do this,” he said.

“Oh, um, I’m not really sure I should,” said Twilight.

“Twilight’s afraid of brain surgery! Twilight’s afraid of brain surgery!” sang Valiant.

The unicorn rolled her eyes. “Tell me what I need to do.”

“Take this pair of snips and cut the wires I tell you to,” ordered Valiant. He dug in a box of parts and pulled out a small switch.

Twilight used her magic to maneuver the tool into the position Valiant said. Braeburn’s eye went dark and then his ear went deaf. He felt nervous, but was confident that if they could be disabled, they could also be restored.

“All right, just a few more cuts and then solder this up,” said Valiant. There was a faint sizzling noise.

“Oops,” said Valiant.

“What?” said Braeburn in alarm.

“Don’t worry about it. If you don’t feel it, it wasn’t important.” Valiant fell silent for a moment.

“I think I’ve got it,” said Twilight.

“Good. All right, here goes nothing.” There was a click, and suddenly Braeburn’s senses were assaulted with outrageous sights and sounds. He screamed and clutched his head, falling sideways.

“Too far!” boomed Valiant’s voice. He fumbled with something on the side of Braeburn’s head, his hooves making an awful scratching noise on the metal.

Suddenly, everything was as it should be. “What was that?” said Braeburn, shaken.

Valiant shrugged. “We installed a three-position switch. Number one is off, number two is normal, number three is extra.”

“You mean…for vision and hearing?”

“Yeah, now you can sleep and have super powers.” Valiant shrugged as if it was no big deal. “A great advancement in medical science, if I do say so myself. This calls for a celebration.” He took another glug from his bottle.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “We installed the switch behind your ear.” She showed Braeburn where to find it. “Is there anything else I can help you with?” she asked.

“No, I got what I wanted. Thank you very much.” Braeburn looked her in the eyes to show his sincerity as he said it. It was only after she turned away uncomfortably that he realized how he must look. She didn’t want to see his deformity.

“I’ll be going, then,” said Braeburn. “Thanks again.”

He stepped out of the library and began the walk back to Sweet Apple Acres. With his hat low, nopony paid him any attention.

That night, Braeburn lay in bed trying to relax. The newly installed switch did wonders, but that wasn’t the reason sleep eluded him.

Was he destined to be a freak for the rest of his life? Even Twilight, who’d spent more time around him than most other ponies couldn’t look him in the face. Braeburn sighed and sat up.

He idly toyed with the switch behind his ear. On setting number three, his examination of the world changed significantly. He could hear the gentle flapping of bats’ wings as they flew overhead. Despite the darkness, he could see them plainly and up-close.

Braeburn flipped the switch back to off. The hardware offered an new and interesting perspective, but it also scared him.

Sweet Celestia, what have I become?

Chapter 4

Braeburn didn’t realize how much rest he had missed over the past few days. He was still asleep when Applejack tromped into his room and shook him awake.

“What time is it?” he muttered, glancing out the window. The sun was already well and truly up.

“It’s past time for breakfast,” said Applejack. “Ah saved you some. Big Macintosh and me are goin’ out to the orchard.”

“Thanks for waking me up.”

His cousin nodded. "Don't forget, Pinkie's thowin' you a party tonight." She left the room.

Braeburn got out of bed. For a moment, he thought about leaving his electronics powered down. He sighed and flipped the switch on.

Moron, he berated himself. You can’t get rid of the legs. There’s no point in acting like the ear and the eye don’t exist. Braeburn headed out to the kitchen. Three out of every four steps made a clanking noise.

The food was getting cold, but it tasted as good as AJ’s cooking usually did. When he was finished, Braeburn sat for a moment, trying to think of something to do. The house was quiet. Granny Smith was probably taking her morning nap. Apple Bloom was at school.

Braeburn decided to walk down to the orchard and see what Applejack and Big Macintosh were up to. Maybe he could lend a hoof.

The familiar sound of applebucking greeted him as he drew near. The quick, hard thwack of Applejack’s kicks contrasted with the deeper thump every time Big Macintosh bucked a tree.

They both stopped when Braeburn came walking up. “Anything I can do?” he asked.

“Well, if you wouldn’t mind pickin’ up the baskets and carryin’ ‘em to the barn for sorting,” said Applejack.

Braeburn nodded, happy to be useful again. It was the first honest work he’d been able to do in a long time. He wiggled into the yoke on the apple cart and pulled it around collecting full baskets of apples that had been bucked off the trees.

The work went well for a few hours. As Braeburn returned from the barn with an empty cart, he heard a faint noise. It grew louder, and he soon saw a strange machine flying overhead. It had two spinning propellers and was making a terrible racket.

Braeburn’s first instinct was to run, but as the contraption settled into a hover over the orchard, he remembered that his cousins were still out there. He slipped the cart yoke off and ran in that direction. Despite only having three mechanical legs, he moved faster than ever before. The artificial joints had greater spring to them, and his stride was longer and quicker.

Braeburn skidded to a halt as he came upon the strange flying machine. Monstrosity was painted on the nose. The name seemed remarkably appropriate.

Valiant stepped out of the cockpit. His eyes were red and he looked somewhat distraught. For some reason, a falcon was perched on his shoulder.

“Yo, Apples!” he called. “Do any of you know a pegasus mare named Merry May?”

“Can’t say that I do,” replied Applejack.

“Well, she got murdered and then somebody mailed me her head.” Vailant gesticulated with his hooves. The bird struggled to stay on. “Totally ruined my day,” he said.

“That sounds terrible,” said Applejack.

“Yeah. Well, anyway, I've got other ponies to talk to about this.” Valiant climbed back in his machine and started the engine. He departed in a cloud of dust.

“What in the world…” said Braeburn.

“Just Valiant bein’ Valiant,” said Applejack, shaking her head. "Ah have no clue how he managed to end up in a murder investigation. Can't say I'm surprised, though."

“What was that thing?” Braeburn asked.

“Ah’ve given up tryin’ to figure out how he builds those machines of his,” said Applejack. “Admittedly, it can be useful to fly without wings, but Ah don’t trust his piloting skills.”

“What was with the falcon?” asked Braeburn.

“Oh, it’s just Valiant’s pet bird. He adopted the little guy about the same time Rainbow was lookin’ for a pet. Name’s Captain.” Applejack frowned. “Ah don't know why, but he giggles every time he mentions ‘Captain Falcon’.”

Braeburn shook his head. “Well, I left the cart back up by the barn.”

“Ah’ll get it,” said Applejack. “You take a break for a little while.”

“I don’t need a break,” said Braeburn as she left. It was true. He didn’t feel like he had worked very hard.

Big Macintosh shrugged and moved the wisp of grass he carried between his lips to the other side of his mouth. Braeburn glanced at a few empty baskets nearby. He walked over to an apple tree that still had fruit hanging from it. It had been so long since he had done any applebucking, that he couldn’t resist giving it a try.

Braeburn steadied his front legs and gauged the distance to the tree. He pitched himself forward to get his hind end in the air and then kicked.

CRACK

Big Mac’s mouth opened in surprise, dropping the piece of grass. Braeburn looked over his shoulder. The tree lay on the ground, its trunk shattered.

“What? I…” Braeburn gasped at what he had done.

“Braeburn! What in tarnation happened?” demanded Applejack as she arrived with the cart.

“I didn’t mean to.”

Applejack sighed. “Ah guess you didn’t know that was going to happen. Maybe you’d better stick to pullin’ the cart.”

He took the yoke from her and returned to ferrying apples back to the barn. Suddenly, the day wasn’t looking as good as it had that morning.

I’m going to have to be careful, thought Braeburn. I could accidentally hurt somepony.

Braeburn remembered Valiant going on a rant about something he called ‘goddamn Spiderman comics’. Braeburn hadn’t understood most of it, but one clear phrase had stayed with him. With great power comes great responsibility…

Braeburn didn’t want to be responsible. He just wanted to work on the farm and be a regular pony. It looked like that goal was getting harder to achieve all the time.

After the day's work was done, Braeburn got cleaned up in preparation to go to the party. He had no idea why Pinkie was so insistent that a celebration should be held in his honor.

Applejack had offered to get the party moved to Sweet Apple Acres. Braeburn had told her no. If he was going to reintegrate himself into society, he couldn't hide forever. Still, he was nervous.

"Ready?" asked Apple Bloom. She had gotten her homework done quickly after getting back from school and was excited to go to the party.

"I guess so."

"Cheer up, cousin," said Applejack. "Everypony'll be there."

As he put on his hat and the borrowed duster, Braeburn wondered what he was getting himself into.

Author note:
While based on A Dream, please consider this story to be completly different. I'm going to retcon stuff in the interest of trying to write a better story.

Chapter 5

The five ponies walked on the road towards town. They went at the pace of Granny Smith. Braeburn didn’t mind. It gave him more time to think.

Applejack talked with her younger sister. Big Macintosh was stoic as usual. Through an unspoken agreement, he and Braeburn walked on either side of Granny to offer her assistance should she need it. Braeburn worried slightly about the old mare. She had lived a long, full life, but when it was her time to go, there would be sadness.

Would it be different for him? If Braeburn had died in a trample of buffalo hooves, what would his family have done? It was difficult to imagine, and also rather unsettling. Braeburn instead turned his thoughts to the party.

“Are we going to be late?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Nope,” said Applejack. “Right on time.”

“Just put me in a corner out of sight,” said Braeburn.

“It’s your party,” reminded Applejack.

“Can I decline it?”

AJ laughed. “Nopony gets out of a Pinkie Party.”

In the early evening, the street was still relatively busy. Braeburn ducked his head and shrugged down deeper in the coat. The party would be bad enough. He didn’t need to make a scene in public.

Braeburn was apprehensive as he entered Sugarcube Corner. Bad memories had been made there. The party room was brightly colored, and special decorations made it even more festive. Better than the basement, he decided.

Pinkie came bouncing over. “Hi! It was so good to meet you! I throw everypony a party when they get here. It’s too bad the party couldn’t have happened sooner, but Applejack told me you were having some medical issues and—”

Pinkie broke off, staring at Braeburn’s face. He looked away, feeling self-concious.

She started talking again. “Wow! I’ve never thrown a party for a cyborg before! Am I saying that right? Valiant taught me that word and said that it meant a pony combined with a machine. You sure look like a pony combined with a machine. Are you?” Somehow, Pinkie had gotten closer without Braeburn realizing it. They were nearly eye-to-eye.

He took a step backwards. “Uh, I guess.”

Pinkie’s eyes lit up. “It’ll be an extra special party, then!” She dashed away.

“Don’t mind her,” said Applejack. “Pinkie’s weird.”

A couple of other ponies came in. Braeburn didn’t know them and began to back away.

Applejack grabbed him. “You’re here, sugarcube. The least you can do is stay a while.”

Braeburn sighed. “All right.” Here goes nothing.

Luckily, AJ didn’t force him to talk to anypony. He saw a few familiar faces. Valiant came in. He nodded to Braeburn before going over to the refreshments table.

“And this is Braeburn, the guest of honor!” said Pinkie. Braeburn jumped. He hadn’t noticed her arrive. She was escorting a grey pegasus whose eyes didn’t appear to be focused on anything in particular.

“Whoa,” said the pony, appearing to notice what was different about Braeburn. “How did that happen to you?”

He shook his head. “I just don’t know what went wrong.”

“Great!” said Pinkie, pulling the pony away.

The rest of the party went downhill from there. Any other pony that Pinkie brought over seemed uncomfortable talking to a freak like Braeburn. One or two even escaped her grip and ran. When he decided to get something to eat, the refreshment table cleared out at his approach. Nopony even wanted to go near him.

He spotted Applejack talking with another pony. Rarity, was it? Braeburn walked over meekly, hoping AJ’s presence would help.

“There he is,” said Applejack. “Y’see what I was talkin’ about?” She grabbed Braeburn’s face and shoved him forward as if she was presenting his cybernetics for inspection.

Rarity recoiled slightly. “Um, yes. The, ah, appearance of that could definitely be improved.”

“Rarity here is into fashion,” said Applejack. “Maybe she can help you look a little more presentable.”

“I’ll try,” said the white unicorn, “but here is a limit to my talents, dear.” She excused herself and moved away. Braeburn saw Valiant furtively pouring something from a flask into a cup of punch. Rarity walked over to him, saying something.

Braeburn flipped the switch behind his ear. He felt like a snoop for listening in, but they were probably talking about him, right?

“Yeah, freakiest pony I’ve ever seen,” Valiant was saying. “What’s your point?”

“I just think somepony should do something for him. Poor dear.”

“Well, didn’t Pinkie throw a party?” said Valiant. “Besides, I thought you were the generous one. You do something for him.”

“Well, I…”

“Would you like some punch?” Valiant interrupted. “I’ve got this glass here.”

Braeburn turned the power back down. Even listening to conversations about him was depressing.

“Hey Rainbow,” called Applejack to a pegasus passing by. “You remember my cousin Braeburn, right?”

“Oh yeah, I heard about what happened,” said Rainbow. She didn’t shy away, but didn’t look at him directly, either.

“He’s going to be stayin’ with us until he recuperates,” said Applejack. There was a moment of silence between the three of them, filled in by the background noise of the party.

Applejack elbowed Braeburn. “Say somethin’.”

“Nice to see you again, Rainbow.”

“Uh, you too.” The pony walked away. Braeburn sighed.

Applejack looked at him with concern. “Hey now, everypony just needs time to get used to you.”

“How much time, AJ?” Braeburn shook his head. “This party was a bad idea.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Well, what would you say about it?” Braeburn demanded. “I haven’t done a single thing wrong, but everypony’s scared of me. Do you have any idea how I feel?”

Applejack looked stunned. “Just give it a while longer.”

Braeburn sighed. “I just don’t like beating my head on a wall and expecting to get somewhere.”

On the other side of the room, Pinkie was rolling out a brightly painted cannon. “Let’s party!” she shouted. Braeburn saw Valiant cover his ears.

The cannon went off with the loudest noise Braeburn had ever heard. Dark smoke and confetti poured from the barrel.

“That never happened before!” said Pinkie. Braeburn used the confusion and smoke to slip out the door.

The sun had just about set. Braeburn knew it would only be a matter of time before somepony came looking for him. Or would it? His family might notice he had left, but the other ponies would probably be happy he was gone.

Braeburn sat down against the wall of the building. He blinked a few tears out of his eye. He told himself it was because of the smoke.

Applejack did eventually find him outside. She hesitated, and then asked if Braeburn wanted to go back to the farm.

It was a blessing that sleep came quickly. There were a few times that Braeburn felt himself drifting towards consciousness, but was able to ignore them.

When he woke up, he regretted not sleeping more lightly. He was on the couch in the library.

“Damn,” said Valiant, leaning over him. “You are easy to kidnap.”

The door opened just then, and five ponies came in.

“What are you doin’ with Braeburn?” demanded Applejack.

“Whoa, relax,” said Valiant. “I’m staging an intervention.”

“You? said Rarity.

“What’s going on?” asked Twilight, coming down the stairs. She glanced over at Braeburn. “Also, how did he get here?”

Ignoring her, Valiant said, “I’ve noticed that Braeburn here needs friends.”

“You gave me a friend intervention?” said Braeburn. “I’m fine, thanks.” He tried to sit up, but nothing responded.

“Don’t bother,” said Valiant. “I temporarily unhooked everything. You didn’t think I would build something that I couldn’t also disable, did you? Anyway, back to the task of making friends.” He addressed the other ponies. “Lord knows I’m wrong for the assignment, so that leaves you guys.”

The six mares stared at him. He sighed. “Look, isn’t friendship basically your job? I can do a lot of things, but I know when I’m out of my experience zone. So, make with the pep talk.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Rainbow.

“What I’ve learned by hanging out in Equestria for a while is that being a friend takes certain things. Certain elements, if you will.”

“Oh,” said Twilight. “I see where you’re going with this.” She cleared her throat. “You see Braeburn, you can’t have a friendship without a few things.”

Twilight looked at the other ponies. “Rainbow, for example, represents the Element of Loyalty. You need to have faith in your friends though thick and thin. You can’t drop them when the going gets tough for either one of you.”

“My family took me in when I needed help,” said Braeburn.

Twilight nodded and turned to a different pony. “Rarity represents Generosity. If you can benefit your friend by sharing with them, then that’s what you should do.”

“Oh! Mr. and Mrs. Cake donated all that food for the party,” said Pinkie.

Twilight went on. “Applejack is the Element of Honesty. You can’t have a friendship if you can’t trust somepony, and you can’t trust them if they don’t tell you the truth.”

Braeburn glared at Valiant, who shrugged.

“Pinkie represents Laughter,” said Twilight. “It’s important to share good times with your friends.”

“Remember when you blew apart that tree?” said Applejack.

Braeburn smiled. “That was pretty funny. You should have seen the look on Big Macintosh’s face.”

Next, Twilight said, “Fluttershy exemplifies Kindness. You have to go out of your way to help your friends and make their lives better.”

“Like if I were to push this button marked ‘pain’,” said Valiant, “Fluttershy would try to ease your anguish.” His hoof hovered near the side of Braeburn’s head.

A few tense seconds passed. Valiant laughed. “Kidding. There’s no such button.”

Twilight said, “And I’m the Element of—”

Valiant cut her off. “He’s half robot. Now if you were the Element of Science, that might be applicable. Anyway, the point is, Braeburn, there are ponies out there who are willing to do these things for you. They might be few and far between, but you’re lucky to have them.

“Lucky?” shouted Braeburn. “I’m a freak!”

“You could be dead you ungrateful shit,” said Valiant. “And, tell me the truth, would you rather go back to being in a wheelchair?”

“No, I suppose not.” Braeburn glared at Valiant. “I’m still not forgiving you for doing this to me, though.”

Valiant laughed. “Like I care.” He leaned forward to reattach the connections to the artificial legs. Braeburn felt his limbs begin to respond again.

Valiant never knew what hit him.

“I think I know what I need to do,” said Braeburn. He and Applejack were on their way back to the farm.

“What’s that, cousin?”

“I need to learn to live with who I am. I know Rarity was working on some kind of cover to dress up the metal parts, but I’ll still never be quite the same again.” He sighed. “I need to accept the fact that I can’t change that, so there’s no point in worrying about it any more.”

“Well, as long as you’re all right with how things turned out,” said Applejack.

“I’m not. It’s no fault of mine, though, and all I can do is learn to adapt. Maybe someday I will finally be okay with what happened. I guess all I can do is just try to be a better pony and keep improving, one step at a time.”

Applejack nodded. “So will you be stayin’ around the farm for a while?”

“I guess.”

“Well, applebuckin’ season is startin’ to pick up. Just promise to be more careful with the trees.”

Braeburn smiled. “One step at a time.”