One Last Joke

by Doc Crowl

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Sad
Length: 1847

The great clown Robin Williams shares with Pinkie Pie some wisdom on an old joke

The great clown Robin Williams shares with Pinkie Pie some wisdom on an old joke, Pagliacci the Great Clown. She also gets the chance we all wish we'd had: to say goodbye.

Published 2014-08-18 04:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-18 04:10:01 UTC

Pagliacci

The slim woman walked slowly, her footsteps carefully picked and planned out. Each one was lacking the bounce usually found in all of her motions, but the weight upon her shoulders held her down to a mournful shuffle. She was focused downwards and trying hard enough not to become imbalanced that she didn’t notice the critical gaze of the secretary until her bare foot nearly bumped into the desk.

"He-LLO?" The secretary waved as her condescending tone made the emotionally fragile woman jump. "Are you a visitor or a, er, 'guest'?"

"Um, I suppose I'm your guest while I'm here but just visiting. Well visiting everywhere 'here' but here here especially. Well especially someone. Who is here." A bright if a little forced smile played across her pink lips, reflected in the incredulous secretary's eyes. "Yeeeaaahhh, I'll go ahead and call security th-"

"Nonono, I'm sorry! I'm just here to see RobBob!" The young woman apologized. "He needs help, y'see, help only someone in a similar kinda situation mindset thingy could help with. Please please please can I see him?" She gave puppy dog eyes and blinked adorably.

"Look, if you know he's here you know damn well he'd be a private man! Now shove off before someone gets the beat down on ya!" The thick secretary snarled beginning to stand up.

"Well me oh my, no need to be so rash Pammie," a voice from behind nervously giggled. Both women turned to see the object of their conversation, a squat hairy man with a twinkle to his eyes and a smile that moved along his mouth line with slow certainty."Mr. Williams, you know we can just send her awa-"

"Oh we'll do no such thing!" Robin Williams gasped, clutching his heart and wrapping his free arm around the young woman lightly. "This dame surely couldn't be a nuisance! What with her cheque designs, elegant pink hair, and tiny little frame she'd be positively eaten alive by the wolves out in that wilderness!" He pointed at her oversized hoody and sweatpants, hair do, and overall frailty in huge flourishes, dancing around in a way that gave Pinky's heart just the lift she needed.

"Ya gotta let me keep 'er Ma, ya just gotta!" He cried, dropping to his knees and scooting across behind the counter to clutch as the secretary's hand. "I promise I'll feed her and take care of her and call her George! Oh can we please please pleaseplease pleeeaaassseee keep her??"

"She's your visitor, I'll hold you responsible for any piddling inside the facility," the secretary tittered, her stern facade cracking a little as she patted Robin's cheek. "Now get up off that floor, you'll get filthy!"

"Ooh mama you'd love that wouldn't you? Depraved she is, I tell you!" He laughed, giving Pam a big kiss on the cheek. "C'mon, before she changes her mind or cuts my bedtime to 7:30!" He smiled, offering his hand to the pink haired stranger.

"Well if you say so silly," Pinkie Pie laughed, taking his hand and letting him lead her down a hall to the meeting rooms.

"I most certainly do! Now kind Miss, I hope I'm not being too formal to ask who might have found my secret hidey hole?"

"Not at all! I'm Pinkie Pie, a ha-yuuuge fan and fellow funnypony! Normally I'd throw a party to celebrate making a new friend, but I'm here on a mission." She smiled up at him with all the sincerity she could muster,

"A mission? Well I'm sorry but our leader is on lunch, God hasn't given any holy ones since that last debacle with the Blues Brothers, and I have no idea how impossible your task will be. I apologize I couldn't be more help Ms. Pie," He sighed melodramatically.

"Well then it's a good thing you're the mission!" Pinkie giggled. "'Ms. Pie', ha! Anyway, it's more about a certain joke of yours. You ended a few stand up gigs with it, you liked it a lot, it's floated around a bit, basic whozawhatsits." She sat down at an offered table in what seemed to be a cafeteria, though it was deserted at the moment.

"Y'know I get the feeling you didn't fly all the way out here to talk about a bear wiping with a rabbit," he mused, stroking a nonexistent beard as he sat back across the table form Pinkie.

"Newp. One about the great clown entertainer Pagliacci."

"Ah, Pagliacci! The wit! The emotional rollercoaster! The twist ending! A favorite for years ladies and gents, the joke goes as follows!" Robin stood up, turning to the crowd filling his imagination.

"A man goes to the doctor! Doctor he says, I've got depression. I can barely drag myself out of bed in the morning. What can I do? I can't take much more! And the Doc, he says, oh that's no problem at all! The circus is in town you know, go see the great clown Pagliacci to cheer you up! The man instantly began crying, shaking his head. But doctor! He says, I AM the great clown Pagliacci!" Robin laughs maniacally, hopping back to his seat as Pinkie laughed and claped goodnaturedly. "Brilliant as always RibBob," she grinned widely.

"Oh not always, that one doesn't go down well in either clown colleges or Republican national conventions! Though I can definitely say not much would... ah well. What about it my dear, I'm an open book! Read me won't you?" He spread out provocatively, bouncing an eyebrow.

"Ahem... yes. Um. RobBob, have you ever thought more in depth about that joke?"

"More than you know. What of it?" He asks as he became more interested.

"Well Pagliacci was this great clown entertainer. Loved by many, bringing laughs to so many, almost an entertainer for the generation right?" Pinkie wrung her hands. "The greatest clown who ever lived!" Robin claims confidently.

"And yet he was plagued by these inner demons. Hurting inside, keeps performing but not really helping himself. What happens after the doctor visit?" Pinkie asked as her hair seemed almost to lose some volume.

"We all have our demons, Ms. Pie. Drinking, drugs, cries for attention. Obviously," he gestures around himself, "I'm a good case for all three. Maybe one of the best cases evar!" He chuckled, but Pinkie could see how deeply he took that to heart.

Looking closer she realized how thin he was compared to any other time she'd snuck over to this world, observing the greats of pop culture and comedy, always with Robin Williams on top. His facial hair seemed thinner and much more white, his flesh seemingly drawn back into his bone structure.

As she stared his smile slowly sank, and he cleared his throat. "So, was that admission your goal or did you want to go into Pagliacci's childhood? I think he had daddy issues too if you'd like to psychoanalyze."

"No, I was thinking more about the future. What do you think happened to Pagliacci? Do you... do you think his demons ever caught up to him? " Pinkie asked hesitantly, biting her lip.

"I'm positive they did." Robin's face was almost apologetic in how pointed the answer was.

"Well... every funnypony makes others laugh for a reason. Maybe Pagliacci forgot that reason compared to when he was happy doing mime work on the street?" Pinkie asked hopefully. "The core reasons are always there. That's a funny thing really, it's always there. It just gets... cluttered from time to time. The view becomes obscured by life." Robin chewed on his lip, eyes studying Pinkie's face. "And he'd need special talks to unclutter his view."

"And when life obscures it to the point that Pagliacci can no longer see why he would keep doing what he does, if he maybe thought he was hurting those around him more than the joy he brought everyone else in the world combined? What would he do then to get a hold of himself, of his core?" Pinkie asked, taking shallow breaths as she listened to every syllable.

"He might remove the obstruction," Robin replied quietly.

Silence fell in the nook they shared, their worlds coming to a standstill as the moments stretched on into eternity. Pinkie dreaded moments like this, she had made it her goal to eradicate moments like this, but she couldn't find it within herself to speak the next words.

"If that's all...?" Robin left his question open ended, and Pinkie immediately shook her head. "No, I..."

Leaning in to take a hold of Pinkie's hand, Robin smiled a little as he brushed away a little moisture being up below her eyes she hasn't noticed was there.

"When Pagliacci grew tired, I think he would have done the right thing. It's a great adventure y'know, that other place. No one really knows what's there."

"What do you think is this other place?" Pinkie asked quietly, her throat rasping.

"A place of warmth and friendship. A place you can be yourself utterly without the pressure to do so, or the worry of petty earthly things. A place where quadriplegics can walk, where old men can act as childishly as they want, and where there's laughter abound. At least I hope it's that way."

Pinkie Pie was outright crying now, but looking up into Robin's also wet eyes she saw relief and acceptance there. An almost faraway look of one who had put off sleep for far too long.

She wrapped him up in as big a hug as she could muster, breathing in his calming fatherly scent. "He knows that he is this generation's greatest entertainer, doesn't he?" she murmured into his shoulder. "That the world will mourn for years, that landmarks will be memorialized in his name, that millions are losing a crazy uncle they can't get enough of?"

"He realizes that every time someone gives him a hug and says thank you," Robin's voice breaks a little. "Thank you Ms. Pie, I haven't talked about Pagliacci like that in a long while."

As they released each other and Pinkie went to leave, she cleared her throat and bit her lip. "It's such a horrible way to go..."

"It's a brief pain, but it's the same pain we all face in the end," he breathes shakily.

"August 11 will be a day remembered," Pinkie sniffles, turning back and placing her hand on the door jamb. "Can... can I tell you on of my favorite jokes? Oh Captain my Captain?"

"If you know as much as you do about the future, I expect a doozy," A smile crept across Robin's weather beaten face and crinkled decades-old laugh lines.

"Well," Pinkie started, "A rabbit and a bear are squatting together in the woods..."

Author's Note

The bear looks at the rabbit and asks, "Every have problems with shit sucking to your fur?" Rabbit shakes his head. So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit and leaves.

Hope everyone enjoys it, and the last known picture of Williams from rehab to picture: http://imgur.com/iwcXmpS