Rizzrack, The Timbersaw

by ConnorTempest

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Adventure, Discord, Crossover, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Thriller, Comedy
Length: 1640

Rizzrack Finds himself in Equestria, full of insanity and trees...and Discord.

Our favorite Radiant tree-cutting tank, Timbersaw has an...accident involving Puck (The magical dragon) and ends up smack dab in the middle of Equestria...Did I mention that it's full of trees? Join his insanity in the Pony Kingdom.

Face your fears
Radiant and Dire finally settled their differences in this as well.
Basic Dota 2 lore included.
Molten Destructor suit.

Published 2014-10-29 23:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-29 23:40:05 UTC

Problem with Phase Shifting (Prelude...because prologue)

"Aww, Puck off you discount dragonfly!" Rizzrack yelled angrily at the flying menace.

"You are frail, I see into your, subconscious." Puck responded cryptically.

"Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, you mere mortals have no idea, mehwawrah; that jib again?" The Timbersaw mocked.

Jaunting behind Rizzrack, Puck whispered into his ear, "It is unwise to, make light of things such, as I."

"I'm not scared of you, ya hear!" Rizzrack shouted at the Faerie Dragon, waving his buzzsaw to shake the dragon off.

"Positive? I travel among, your deepest nightmares." Puck responded, teleporting again behind Rizzrack, and caressing the bottom of his chin.

"So does Atropos, what's your point?" Rizzrack answered with a shrug.

"Would you rather me, show you your place?" Puck asked with a smile.

His smile disappeared when a chain flew by his head, missing by meer inches. "Ha, you missed." Puck chuckled before feeling the impact of an icy suit. Slowly turning he saw that Rizzrack had grappled a tree some distance behind him and used it to turn the suit (and himself along with it) into a makeshift wreaking ball, Armor dome down and all.

Running toward the Dragon again, Rizzrack swung his buzzsaw, only for Puck to back away from him and cast his enchanted faerie dust into the air following with a launched ball of light. Trying to dodge the orb Rizzrack's Timbersuit began to clog with the dust in the air.

"Come on, Come on!" Rizzrack shouted as he began to slam on the controls. "Aw, screw it!" he exclaimed, picking up a grappling hook from the storage area of his suit, courtesy of Rattletrap. Pushing button, the dome raised, giving him a clear shot. Launching the hook towards Puck, he hit his mark. Latching the hook to his suit he retracted the hook, causing Puck to be reeled in. In a panic, Puck phased through dimensions, with Rizzrack in tow. Whilst in the space between worlds, the dimensional nexus, Rizzrack's Hookshot snapped, hurling him into the untempered schism. Half a second later Puck returned to the plane of existence it had just left, only to hear the battle cry of Mogul Khan who, with a yell and a small jump promptly dunked the evasive dragon into a bloody stain on the ground.

"You get nothing. Good day, sir!"

"I IMMEDIATELY REGRET MY DECISION!" Rizzrack shouted as he fell through realities, only to be stopped and be pulled backwards into a tear.

A rift opened near the edge of the White-Tail Woods. From the rift came the Timbersuit with Rizzrack inside, he gave a grunt of pain as his head met the protective dome.

"Oh, by the Ancients...what a trip." Rizzrack said aloud, shaking his head to regain his senses. Realizing that Puck was probably more used to this 'dimensional traveling' thing, he looked up at his HUD, only to find static. "Ugh, damn dust must be interfering with my systems," he said with a sigh, "Well, gotta get out of here either way...hope Puck will take a surrender...or just left me alone....yeah, I like that second one better." he kept muttering to himself, whilst digging around in his suit. "Matches, torch, tango," he listed as he found the items in his suit, "Bloodstone- gonna need that-," pocketing the red gem he continued, "dumb bell....why do I have this?" he asked, promptly throwing to the side, "Ice cream, banana, cheese, cookie, butterburg-hey there it is!" he exclaim in happiness as he found his shield, "Shiva's guard!...can't believe I was actually able to hammer this thing down into a shield." He gave a small chuckle before continuing, "let's see here, ah-ha! My trusty wrench...now all I need is that ax..." he continued to dig through his junk before finally realizing, "...I really need to clean this thing out from time to time...meh, getting it working is my first priority." After several more minute he found his ax, "Ah, Quelling Blade!...now how do I get out of here?" he asked himself, having never found himself in this problem before. "Gah! Why didn't I just opt for magnetic locks so that damn dome would open up if I lost power! Then again, if rabid animatronics wanted to stuff me into a suit and the only thing between them and me was this dome...Nah, I'll just stick with this and be happy with it. Though to the problem at hand...I guess I just have to wait for someone...or something to open it up....I just hope it isn't that dang puck."

And so Rizzrack waited...and waited...and waited. After an unknown amount of time he heard a knock and a male voice ask, "Hello? Anypony in there?"

Jumping up without thinking, and bumping his head, he yelled, "Yes, yes, yes! Can you help me?! I'm stuck!...and I have a concussion."

"Hrm...How do you open this thing? Actually, how did you get stuck in there in the first place?" The man asked.

"It's a looooooonnnnng story, but I guess you could say...I had a bug problem of sorts."

"Meh, parasprites at it again..." the man said, tapping around the armored dome.

"What? Never mind that, I think you should just be able to lift the dome up...if you're strong enough that is...I forgot how much the thing weighs."

With a couple of grunts the man was able to, with a bit of difficulty, lift the dome, allowing Rizzrack to escape.

"Thank you! I thought I was gonna be stuck in there for....well I don't know really, only I'm glad you came when you did." Rizzrack said, finally getting to see his savior. The man was...not a man, but a mix of different creatures...and had a mini-version of him riding his shoulder, only this one had pink hair. "Well...Who are you? YOU'RE NOT WITH THE TREES ARE YOU?"

The man frowned, as if he was forgetting something, before saying, "Interesting...anyway, I'm Discord and this is my daughter, Discordia."

Rizzrack stared at him, "...So is that a 'Juinor' thing or...?"

"No, nothing like that, her mother named her that...personally I wanted name her Lola...then again I named our first child so...yeah." Discord replied tiredly.

"You don't look so good, did opening the Timbersuit really take that much outta' you?"

"So it's gotten to that point, huh?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, nothing much. It's Discordia...It seems like she's draining my energy."

"Ah, so that's it; trust me I know how you feel, I mean this one time I had an argument with Lion and....ugh, it was horrible!"

"You're a strange little creature, you know that? In fact you sorta remind me of myself in a way."

"Really? And how's that?"

Pulling Rizzrack under his arm, Discord told him, "Well, your insanity of course!"

"That's what they all say, they never believe me! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN WHAT I HAVE!" Rizzrack shouted, pushing away from Discord.

Discord backed off, smirking.

"What's so funny bub?!"

"Well, my daughter sure knows you're nuts." Discord said, pointing to Rizzrack's shoulder.

Turning his head he saw Discordia clinging to his side. "What, how, when!?"

Discord blushed and put a hand in front of his mouth, "Oops, forgot to tell you; I'm the Spirit of Chaos! And that mean so is my daughter, ya dig?"

"...no."

"Well, being the little chaos spawn that she is, she requires lots of magic in her infantile stages."

"Okay~ That doesn't answer why she's on me though." Rizzrack said, noticing that Discordia had moved and was now chewing on one of the 'ears' on his cap.

"Yes it does! Wait, wait...no...no it doesn't....does it?"

"Eh-no."

"Fine, fine, I guess you deserve an explanation while you can comprehended it. It would seem that she sucks magical energy in the form of insanity. Contrary to belief, insanity is not the lack of sanity, more so...it's own thing...they can be together, but they're like Ex'es....don't put them in the same room...or head, in this matter." Discord explained, a graduation cap now on his head.

"So your daughter is...eating my crazy?"

"YEP! And thanks for not saying 'she's eating my nuts'. Really appreciate it." Discord said with a smile.

"Wait, why would I say that?" Rizzrack asked, confused.

"Oh, never mind that; though enough about me, who are you?"

"M-me? Whaddya want with me?"

"Geez, calm down--"

"CALM DOWN!? CALM! DOWN? I AM CALM, ARE YOU CALM?"

"Ehm...yes?"

"Goooooooood....now what was it you wanted?"

"Eh...well I just wanted to know who....and what you are."

"Oh, okay. Let's see....it started looooonnnnng ago, I was born in the forest, but it wasn't until years later that I found my purpose-"

"I think that's a bit too far back. How about we start with a name?"

"A name, huh? Can I trust you?"

"...You have my kid on your back, yes you can trust me."

Rizzrack leered at Discord, "You have sound logic. Anyway, I'm Rizzrack, the Timbersaw; son of the goblin shredder."

"Oooh! A goblin! I haven't seen one of you guys in," Discord paused, snapping his fingers, an abacus appeared, flicking it several times he looked up, "Exactly one hundred fifty-eight thousand, seven hundred and twenty four years, five months, two days and twelve hours."

"WHAT? I was sure there were more than just me left!" Rizzrack shouted in surprise. Falling down to his knees he raised his fists into the air, "CURSE YOU TREES! I WILL HUNT YOU ALL DOWN AND-," Rizzracks rant was stopped short by a squeaky belch from Discordia. "You know what? I feel much calmer now." Rizzrack said before falling down, unconscious.

Author's Note

Hey, I'm back and with a new Computer, so I can start writing again! This was just a fun thing I, and will probably continue with other Dota characters (Excuse me, heroes) so yeah, IM BACK ON TRACK!