Anon's Calling

by Etiquette

Rating: mature
Tags: Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Comedy
Length: 2334

Anon figures out what his special talent is; Anon in Equestria, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Mature, Clop, Random, Silly, Unwanted Affection, Hijinx, Crotchtits, Japanese Culture/Weeaboo Jokes

Anon is down to his last bit of money in the pony world and, after a socially inexcusable attempt by Fluttershy to win him over, he decides to cheer himself up with a snack from Sugarcube Corner. Meanwhile, Pinkie has decided to spice the place up with a theme. Hijinx ensue.

Published 2014-08-18 22:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-18 22:20:04 UTC

Anon's Calling

Today is the day you finally find your calling in Equestria. You wake up and walk into your bathroom. The rancid smell of past days' excrement wafts its way into your nostrils. Oh right... Turns out that you weren't only a waste of space on Earth, but here in Equestria too. Toilets don't flush if you can't pay your water bill... You perch yourself precariously so that your cheeks don't touch your old shit.

“I can't believe I have to live like an animal, shitting in this pile. It reeks,” you sigh and decide that you'll have to figure something out soon.

Finishing up, you wipe with a clean patch of used towel. No water means no shower either.

“Hmm... No shower...”

Sounds like a new place to shit to you.

You point at the tub as you wipe your ass. “You're next, bitch.”

Heading downstairs, you root through the cabinets. Maybe one of your mouse traps caught something. You salivate at the thought of a free lunch. Despite your valiant attempt, your search comes up largely fruitless: an old shoe, a spork, and a hammer. Well... Maybe you could boil the hammer... Your musing is disturbed by a knock at your door. Same shit, different day. Literally. Why can't she get it through her thick skull? You head over anyway and open the door.

Per usual, Fluttershy is the culprit. However, this time she seems to have gone all out. She's dressed up in a lacy, dainty-looking black and white maid outfit complete with headband and duster.

“Oh good. Housekeeping...”

Fluttershy blushes and flinches while trying, and failing, to make eye contact with you. "O-Ohio. Go-shoe-jean-sama."

Your face instantly goes deadpan. “Fluttershy... What did you just try to do?”

She backs up, flustered. "D-Did I say something w-wrong?"

“Where did you learn that word?”

She blushes even harder, her cheeks threatening to create another word for 'red'. "I- I learned it from one of your Japanese animes..." She kicks the dirt at her hooves.

You just continue your deadpan judgment face.

"A-Anon, stop staring... H-Ha-zoo-cashew..."

"Nope. You've ruined that language two too many times already. 0/10 Would not fuck.” You drop your keys on the ground and walk out your door. “But while you're dressed like that, you might as well get some work done.” You stroll away. “I'd watch out for the bathroom if I were you.”

Fluttershy picks up your keys with her teeth and mumbles, "Y-Yes, Anon. Anything..."

You reach into your pocket and fumble around, retrieving a solitary bit. Your last bit... Just then, your stomach grumbles.

You sigh. “Alright. Alright. Something to eat and then it's time to get a job.” You flip the coin into the air and snatch it on the way down. “For real this time...”

You think you remember that Sugarcube Corner had a one-bit special, so that's where you head.

As you approach the building, you note that there seems to be a crowd of ponies near the door. You stop at the back of the crowd, trying to figure out what all the fuss is about. As you crane your neck to try to see inside, you see a pink blur wiz by and feel a gust of wind hit your leg.

"Heya Nonny!" Pinkie beams.

You look down to see her in a similar maid outfit to that of Fluttershy.

She clears her throat. "I mean... Okaerinasaimase, Master~"

Oh god, that's cute... When done properly, that is.

She giggles. "That means 'Welcome home.'"

She grins. "'Master~'"

Your pants tighten slightly.

“Pinkie... W-What's with the outfit?”

She puts a hoof to her chin. "Weeeeeeeeeell... Fluttershy was showing me this outfit that she was going to make to impress you. She said she got the idea from a movie or something that she borrowed from you. I asked her to show me the movie and in it, the poni- er... people wearing these outfits were serving food, and it looked super fun!"

You're taken back by her explanation. But then again, this is Pinkie you're talking about...

“So... you, uh... Hmm...”

An awkward silence falls over the two of you. It's broken by another growl from your gullet.

"Ooh! Ooh! Sounds like you're rumbly in the tumbly! Come on in, Nonny!"

She grabs you and pulls you into the shop amidst the grumbling of the crowd. Pinkie sits you down at a corner table facing the rest of the bakery. She hands you a menu and hops away to take care of some other customers. The place is much busier than usual. In fact, it seems as though Pinkie and the Cakes procured the help of some of the neighboring p0nies. You spot Lyra, Bon Bon, and even Derpy bustling about and helping customers.

Smiling, you open up the menu to see that all of the prices have been hiked up. Fastest smile you've ever lost. Rainbow Dash would be jealous. There's a little excerpt at the bottom of the menu that reads 'Additional cost added for service'. You roll your eyes...

“Great...”

Pinkie comes bounding up to you, smile on her face. You finger the coin in your pocket and smile nervously.

"So, Nonny... Iraashaimase?" She giggles and sways her rump.

Why is that so hot?

"That means 'What can I do for you?'"

Embarrassed, you close your eyes tight, pull out your last bit, and place it on the table, your hand shaking over it lightly. “This is all I have, Pinkie...”

It seems like you have wait forever for a response before you feel Pinkie's hoof rest gently on your hand. You nervously open an eye to reveal Pinkie's ever-smiling face and it sets you at ease.

"Don't worry, Nonny! Friends help friends, right? Go on up to my room and I'll bring you something on the house."

You set your free hand on top of her hoof on top of your other hand and grin warmly.

“Thanks, Pinkie. You're the best.”

You head upstairs, failing to hear when Pinkie calls out to the others, "Alright, girls. I'm taking my break early."

You sit, idly toying with Pinkie's things in her room. It's so... pink... Pictures of Pinkie with various p0nies litter all the available desk space. She must know every pony in Ponyville... There's even a picture of you. And next to you, on the frame, is a little heart sticker. Adorable. She really loves her friends... You scan the rest of the pictures. But... there aren't any hearts next to anyone else... Not even other stallions. Actually... Come to think of it, why did Pinkie ask you to come up here? Couldn't she have just brought you something at the table? Maybe it's time to get out of here...

You turn to leave, only to have the door burst open. Your heart starts racing and you freeze in place. In trots Pinkie, toting a single muffin on a plate in her mouth. Your eyes try to take in the scene:

Pinkie is smiling: Check.

She brought your food: Check.

Maid costume still hot: Check.

Everything seems fine here... You let your pulse drop back down to a normal rhythm and relax, sitting down on the bed.

Pinkie sets the plate in your hands and giggles. "Why so tense, Nonny?"

You take a breath and let out a sigh, “Nothing, Pinkie. Just a little overactive imagination.”

You chuckle and pick up the muffin, eager to get some sustenance. In a flash, Pinkie taps your hand.

"Nuh uh uh, Nonny... That's not how we do things here anymore."

You stare at her blankly, your mouth still open in anticipation of the bite you were about to take. “Wha... What do you mean?”

She smirks. "It's called service, Anon. Sah-vi-su." She puts an extra emphasis on each syllable and winks on the last one.

She breaks off a piece of the muffin in her hoof and raises it to your mouth. "Say 'ahhn~'"

Her eyes fall to half-mast and the boner in your pants rises to match. As she leans in, you lean away, confused as to what action to take next. However, Pinkie is a determined mare, and she continues to bring the muffin ever closer. Soon, you find yourself pressed against Pinkie's bed with the mare straddled on top of you. You're sweating, your heartbeat has resumed its previous furor, and your boner is pitching a tent in your pants.

“Pinkie... I think we both need to calm down...”

Your eyes dart around, looking for an excuse. You catch a glimpse of her baking apron.

“How about baking? You could go make me some sugar cookies...”

She hops up onto the bed, her back legs on either side of your face. "How about THESE cookies, sugar?"

She lifts her skirt to reveal her pristine nipples, puffy and drooping due to a slight swelling. Your boner can't handle this new information. You immediately cum, semen staining through your underwear and pants. It dribbles along your pelvis and onto Pinkie's bed. It pools on your stomach, continuing to shoot spunk out in spurts.

Wow, you didn't think you could cum this much. You let out a beastly moan and try to ride out your orgasm. But your relief has yet to arrive. You just keep cumming.

“Pinkie, I...”

You can't seem to form a coherent sentence. Pinkie turns around to see what you're fussing about.

"Ooh, Nonny... That's pretty impressive!" She leans down and starts to lap at the seed accumulating on your belly. "And yummy!"

Oh god, that's hot... Your stream increases in pressure and you quickly unbutton your pants to allow your dick free reign. You start spraying her face with jizz, soaking her outfit and hair.

”Mrphlbble!"

Why won't you stop cumming? WHY WON'T YOU STOP CUMMING? You rip your pants off, spraying seed all over Pinkie's room. Pinkie hops up and over to the door, as if nothing was wrong. Her snout wrinkles as your cum drips from her body.

"Hey Nonny, do you... smell smoke?"

Pinkie darts out of her room. She didn’t even think to help you out. Oh right... Help.

“Help!”

You try to wrestle your dick into submission as it flings itself around like an electrified snake. The pressure at which you are STILL CUMMING proves to be a worthy adversary. Just as you manage to grab hold of your member, Pinkie comes rushing back into the room.

"Nonny, come quick! Somepony thought it was a good idea to let Derpy bake..."

She grabs your arm and, in a similar fashion to the way she pulled you into the restaurant, she pulls you toward the kitchen. The entire time, you're painting a racing stripe down the center of the floor.

As you near the kitchen, you're greeted with plumes of black smoke and a roaring flame.

Oh god. Somepony set the kitchen on fire.

With a deft maneuver, Pinkie takes your cock in her hooves and aims your cum-stream directly at the source. In a matter of seconds, your jizz-hose manages to quench the fire and avert a disaster.

Pinkie rears up and gives you a big hug. "Thanks, Nonny! You saved the bakery!"

Your body still shudders from the sensation of perpetual release and you nearly melt from the added hug.

Pinkie helps you out of the front of the shop to a crowd of cheering ponies. They hoist you up onto their backs and carry you through Ponyville. They are treated to the fountain of spunk that results from you being on your back. The mob of ponies continues to parade your heroic ass through Ponyville and your group starts to garner the attention of other residents.

You hear gasps from mares at their doorsteps.

"Oh goodness!"

"You know, I could use a good whitewasher... I've been wanting to repaint my shed for ages now."

"Twilight's been saying how good human cum is for our coats..."

To your horror, foals start to mix in with the crowd carrying you and they begin playing in your jizz, as if you were a sprinkler on a hot summer day. You even think you see a filly catching some in her mouth. How is this your life?

The crowd deposits you at the Mayor's Office and Mayor Mare is briefed on your "heroism." Mayor Mare decides to give you a medal for your bravery. It hangs limply around your neck as your relentless sperm torrent gushes on.

"Do you have anything you'd like to say to your fans, Anonymous?"

While still addled from your predicament, you think you might actually be getting a bit numb to the sensations.

You sidle up to the podium and declare, “I. Need. Job.”

Okay, you still sound kind of retarded, but that should get better with time, right?

The crowd looks to each other in confusion at first, but soon after, hooves start shooting up along with requests for odd jobs.

"I could use a face mask!"

"Paint my fence!"

"Power wash my house!"

"Stand outside my house like a statue for an hour!"

"Lube up some machinery for me!"

"Umm... I could use a protein shake..."

"YEAH!"

And so, your life managed to turn itself around. You started doing odd jobs around the town as well as becoming the first Ponyville firefighter. Bits started rolling in. You got your water turned back on and you even started to make enough money to keep a set of maids staffed to keep your place tidy... and clean up after you. In fact, you hired Fluttershy as your "personal janitor". Despite still not giving her the dick, you think she's pretty happy with the job.

You stop walking around your house for a moment and Fluttershy's muzzle bumps into you. She straightens up afterward, jizz dripping from her lips.

"Oh... S-Sorry, Anon... I was, umm... distracted..."

You chuckle and pat her head, flooding her face with sperm from your cum-nozzle as you turn.

“Fucking Fluttershy...”