Ponyville Needs a True Hero!
"Twilight!" Pinkie Pie screeched at the top of her lungs as she threw herself through the door of the library.
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"Pinkie? What's wrong!?" Twilight yelled as she raced to her friend's side.
"The responsibility is just too much!" Pinkie cried into her friend's side.
"The responsibility? What responsibility Pinkie? You know you can always ask your friends and we'll figure it out together!" Twilight said encouragingly.
"I...I just got back from the hospital and...and...I found out I have super powers!!" Pinkie shrieked crying over dramatically.
"Super what now?" Twilight asked quickly switching from concerned friend to annoyed skeptic.
"They exposed me to those X-rays and...I saw it! My powers!" Pinkie continued.
"What powers? Did you see a reason for your Pinkie Senses?" Twilight asked, now intrigued.
"No...but I saw that I'm part skeleton." Pinkie confessed seriously.
"And?" Twilight asked, quickly regretting the question.
"You don't understand Twilight, I'm part mare and part Skeleton...I'm the Skeleton Mare!" Pinkie Declared, all of the tears suddenly
cleared up as she made a heroic pose. Suddenly Pinkie sprinted out of the door at speeds Rainbow Dash would be jealous of and leaving a cloud of smoke. "Thanks for the peptalk Twi, but I've got a city to save!"
"Pinkie Pie!" Twilight yelled at her friend as she stared at a cloud of smoke that had 'skeleton speed' written in it. "Ponyville isn't even a city, it's a town..."
Twilight then proceeded to facehoof and dismiss this whole thing as Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. If only she knew.
Meanwhile in The Skeleton Lair (AKA upstairs in Sugarcube Corner)
"This city is in pain..." Pinkie said ominously as she stoically peered through the window. "And I am the only one that can help it."
"Pinkie Pie, could you deliver an order for us dear?" Mrs. Cake yelled from downstairs.
"Yes ma'am! Consider it donerooni!" Pinkie yelled back cheerfully. She then returned to her serious Demeanor. "Crime is a disease...and calcium is the best cure."
Pinkie then skipped down the stairs cheerfully and picked up the package of sweets Mrs. Cake left lying on the counter. The bag said Carousel Boutique so without another word the pink hero hopped out the door.
I can't afford to let anyone around Ponyville know that I have super powers, it could put everyone I know in danger...and I know everyone! It might put most of the world in danger! Wait, I told Twilight. She's in danger! Nooooo! Oh, it echoes in here, never noticed that. Hello! Hello! Hello!
hehehe. What was I thinking a moment ago? Oh yeah! The world is in danger and it's all because I have super powers! All my friends are in danger because of me, all because of these stupid powers! I can't forgive myself! But I have to protect everyone, it's my responsibility. I have to become the hero this city was born for...or the hero I was born to be for this city? Nah, I like the first one better. What am I trying to do again? Oh yeah, I'm delivering sweets to Sweetie Bell and Rarity! Pinkie's internal rant went on for hours until Rarity opened the door to see the pink party pony obliviously walking into the wall.
"Err...Pinkie? Is everything alright?" Rarity asked, almost not wanting to know.
"Huh? What are you doing here Rarity?" Pinkie asked as she took a break from running. "I was just on my way to...oh." Pinkie said as she looked up to see the iconic Carousel.
"Yes, well I assume that that package is for me then." Rarity said as she carefully lifted the container of sweets off of Pinkie's back.
"Oh, that reminds me, I need a costume!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed suddenly not even a foot from Rarity's face.
"A costume?" Rarity repeated, her interest piqued. "Nightmare Night is months away, but I suppose the early bird gets the worm. Speaking of, I'm guessing you want another chicken costume?"
"Well, duh. At least for Nightmare Night. No, I need a costume cause..." Pinkie said leaning even closer. "I am a super hero!" She whispered with some counterproductive volume.
"Really? Hmmm...I've never made anything like that. Well, unless you include the whole Mare-Do Well stunt. Well, if I'm going to make you a super hero costume I'll need to know what kind of super powers you have." Rarity said, more intent on starting a project than questioning Pinkie's latest quirk.
"Well I have...Calcium strength. Milk makes me stronger. Uh, my skeleton sense-" Pinkie began stating her various super powers when Rarity stuck her hoof in the air.
"Pinkie, did you just rename your Pinkie Sense?" Rarity asked curiously.
"Well yeah, It can't be the Pinkie sense when I'm calling myself...uh...uh...oh yeah! Skeleton Mare!" Pinkie stated as a matter of factly.
"Right, so your powers have something to do with bones?" Rarity asked.
"Well duh, I'm part skeleton." Pinkie said with a roll of her eyes. "Oh, I didn't tell you...sorry. I should probably tell you the story if you're going to be my super duper costume creator!"
"Quite...I suppose you should come in." Rarity replied as she invited the pink pony inside.
Hours Later
"Have you all heard of Skeleton Mare? She's that super cool pony that's been beating up all the criminals around town!" A pink pony yelled from a rooftop.
"Pinkie Pie, there aren't any criminals around Ponyville." Rainbow Dash commented. "Besides, who is this Skeleton mare?"
"Oh, she's just an ordinary mare...that's part skeleton." Pinkie Pie said slyly.
"Part skeleton? So...which part is the skeleton?" Rainbow asked.
"The skeleton....part." Pinkie replied.
"Really? That sounds awesome! Where is she?" Rainbow asked as she turned around and looked for the mysterious hero.
"Oh, I don't know." Pinkie replied with a snicker. "She could be anywhere and anypony!"
"You're Skeleton Mare aren't you?" Rainbow asked in a deadpan manner.
"Uh, no." Pinkie denied the accusation with the skill of a hearing impaired bat. "You're hilarious Rainbow, a real joker, a total gas, hehehe."
"Right." Rainbow replied.
"Yeppers, well I've gotta get going lots of things to do. Y'know, Ponyville is a dangerous place." Pinkie said nervously as she hopped from the building and darted off.
"Smooth as always Pinks." Rainbow muttered as she flew home.
Days Later
"Psst...Applejack."
"Pinkie Pie?"
"Shhh, I'm Skeleton Mare. Don't turn around."
Applejack shuddered, whoever this was definitely wasn't lying. She was either talking to some crazy pony that thought they were the suddenly famous hero that Pinkie Pie had been shouting about, or the real thing.
"I need your help." The voice repeated.
"Okay, whatcha need sugarcube?"
"I need...a lasso. But not just any lasso, no. I need a SKELETON LASSO!" The voice suddenly raised quite a bit causing a few birds to fly from a nearby apple tree.
"Ah'm not going to make a lasso out of anypony's skeleton." Applejack said turning visibly green.
"Nonononono! Not a skeletal lasso, a skeleTON lasso." The voice repeated sounding sick.
"Err, what's the difference?"
"Well, obviously one of them isn't EVIL!" Pink-I mean Skeleton Mare said. "The other one is a tool for justice!"
"Eeyup!" Big Mac said as he dropped a pure white lasso at the hero's hooves.
"Mac?" Applejack asked.
"Eeyup." came the reply.
"Is Pinkie behind me?"
"Ee-possibly."
"Ee-what now?" Applejack asked.
"..." Big Mac replied and walked off.
"Many thanks Calcium Colt!" Skeleton Mare announced as she dashed off.
"Calcium Colt?" Applejack asked as she turned to her brother that was now clad in pure white plate armor with the letters 'Ca' on each part of it.
"Eeyup!" the costumed sidekick yelled as he dashed after Skeleton Mare.
"What the..." Applejack said as she cocked her head. She couldn't even, not anymore...or ever again.
Even Later
Fluttershy was tending to her animals as Pinkie Pie trotted up cheerily.
"Oh, hey Pinkie. How are you?" Fluttershy asked.
"Oh, just peachy." Pinkie said. "I need you to help me with something though."
"Umm...if it's a prank I’d rather not be involved. At least, if that's okay with you." Fluttershy replied.
"Naw, I just need a new animal." Pinkie said.
"A new what!?! Where's Gummy, please tell me he's alright!" Fluttershy demanded Worriedly.
"Oh, he's fine. I just need another animal." Pinkie said calming her friend down.
"Why would you..Oh! You're getting Gummy some company." Fluttershy reasoned.
"Sure, let's go with that." Pinkie said, silently thanking Celestia that AJ wasn't there. "I need something...Skeletony."
"Skeletony? Whatever for?" Fluttershy asked.
"Oh nothing, Skeleton Mare just asked me to find a good animal sidekick." Pinkie Pie lied...A Pinkie Lie.
"Oh, I don't think I have anything skeleton...y." Fluttershy said nervously. "I would never let an animal get that way.”
"I think I have the perfect animal for you Skeleton Mare." Discord said ominously as his head popped out of a small hole in the ground.
"Skeleton Mare? Where!?" Pinkie exclaimed nervously trying to keep her super secret identity super secret.
"Here's a real secret." Discord said getting close enough to whisper into Pinkie's ear. "Your super secret identity isn't all that super secret."
"What?" Pinkie asked, confused by the sheer magnitude of super secrecy. “There’s no way you’ve figured out how secret my super secret identity is! It’s top-secret!”
"Oh for the love of." Discord said, slightly annoyed. "Here Pinkie, a pet that's perfect for ‘Skeleton Mare’."
Discord handed Pinkie what appeared to be the skeleton of a parrot. As Fluttershy stared in horror, she could not bear to look at the dead bird. Suddenly, the little creature squawked causing Fluttershy to faint in surprise.
"This is my Ex-Ex-parrot." Discord said as he picked up the timid mare and dusted her off. "Can't get much more skeletal."
"He's...He's...Perfect!" Pinkie said as she picked up the parrot. "He's more skeleton than parrot!"
"Well, he's all skeleton." Discord deadpanned.
"Exactly!" Pinkie said grinning ear to ear as she took darted towards Ponyville.
Meanwhile at Buzzkill central [AKA Twilight's treebrary-tree library-library tree-whatever the first one was]
"They all really think..." Spike began as he watched Mayor Mare put the finishing touches on the ‘Skull Signal’.
"It looks like it." Twilight sighed, befuddled as to how Pinkie had managed to spread the ‘news’ of the ‘Super Hero’ throughout the entire town within such a short period. Pinkie even convinced Mayor Mare to start calling Ponyville ‘the City of Ponyville’.
"We should probably say something to Pinkie Pie before this gets out of hoof." Spike said.
"Definitely." Twilight said.
Meanwhile in Ponyville.
Pinkie Pie, now wearing her full costume dashed through the streets in search of crime. The Ex-Ex-Parrot flew alongside her along with her trusty sidekick Calcium Colt.
"Halt Skeleton Mare!" Came a voice in the darkness.
"It couldn't be..." Skeleton Mare said as she squinted at the silhouette of a pony and a young dragon.
"Yes Pinkie, we've come to stop this madness." Twilight said as she stepped out of the shadows.
Pinkie’s response was to fire what looked like a white party cannon into the air. The Pink Pony then leapt into the smoke the cannon and emerged fully clad in her costume.
"Skin Mare!?! That means that the other figure in the shadows must be Scale Drake!" Pinkie exclaimed to a confused and suddenly costumed Twilight and Spike.
"Skin Mare? Scale Drake?" Twilight asked. "Pinkie you've officially lost it."
"That's assuming she had it in the first place." Spike said as he looked to Twilight. "Twi, you've got a really weird costume on. You look like one of those weird 'anon ponies' that pop up from time to time."
Twilight looked down at herself to find that Spike spoke truly, she was covered in a strange skin colored costume. Spike wasn't in much better shape, his costume quite literally being a mask, and a T-shirt with a weight scale on it.
"Err...your costume's probably the oddest here Spike." Twilight responded. "Why are we wearing costumes any-" Twilight was cut off by an overdramatic punch to the face that was enunciated by a massive 'POW!' sign. Even though the blow knocked her back, it didn't seem to hurt at all.
"You had better stay on your toes Skin Mare, or this battle will be short." Skeleton Mare exclaimed heroically.
"I'm so confused right now." Twilight said as Calcium Colt punted Scale Drake. Even though he collided with the wall, Spike seemed completely unharmed. There had to be some kind of trick to this.
The 'epic battle' went on for about twenty minutes before Twilight and Spike surrendered.
"I'm glad that the two of you have seen the error of your ways." Skeleton Mare said triumphantly.
"I....yeah Pinkie, the error of our ways." Twilight said, completely exhausted.
"Alright, this was fun Twi, see you tomorrow!" Skeleton Mare exclaimed as she and her sidekicks galloped into the night.
Twilight and Spike then formed a club with Applejack called 'The Ponies and Dragon That Can No Longer Even'.
Author's Note
This was kind of fun I guess, not cursing after that much writing is kind of counter intuitive though.
