Break Out

by Spirit Guide

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Other, Random, Derpy Hooves, Diamond Tiara, Twilight Sparkle, Anthro, Main 6
Length: 6890

Locking up friendship princesses and super-popular mailmares is not the smartest thing in any world

After committing a most atrocious crime, Derpy Hooves and Princess Twilight Sparkle are sent to prison. The question is: who isn't going to break them out?

Published 2015-03-12 06:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-12 06:00:01 UTC

Meet the In-Mares

"All rise! The honorable judge Doctor Whooves presiding!"

The bailiff's voice rang out as everypony rose from their seats. The judge emerged from a door at the back of the room and climbed up to the bench. Grabbing the gavel in his mouth, he slammed it down on the bench, its sharp crack echoing throughout the room as everypony sat down. Then the judge spoke.

"Very well, allons-y as I always say, let's go. Case No. S4E27, Bakers Dozen vs. the Princess and the Mailmare, is now in session." On one side of the room twelve ponies were seated, a mixture of mares and stallions, unicorns, pegasi and Earth ponies, each one wearing a different expression. On the other side were two mares, a grey pegasus and a purple alicorn, both looking quite unsurprised although the pegasus' eyes were rather perplexing-looking.

"May the representative of the Bakers Dozen please rise?" the judge called out.

A male stallion with a dark-chocolate coat and butterscotch mane stood up. His cutie mark was a fiery oven. This was Cocoa Flambé, the renowned dessert chef. "Your honor," the stallion said, "we of the Bakers Dozen are here to present before you evidence to prove our accusations of these ponies here." He gestured to the two mares. "We are accusing these ponies of committing one of the most despicable crimes in Equestrian history."

The spectators were leaning forward in their gallery seats, some of them mumbling to each other. What crime could the honorable Princess of Friendship and a simple mailmare have committed?

"Very well," the Doctor said, then to the bailiff, "State the charges."

The bailiff stood up and consulted his notes. The crowd was now full of nervous ponies, some biting their hooves, others holding their companions for comfort. The bailiff cleared his throat and called out.

"Stealing muffins."

Somepony cried. The murmuring continued and some ponies were looking rather frustrated. The bailiff, looked around, then glanced at his papers again.

"All the muffins."

The noise from the gallery was so loud now, the judge smashed the gavel down again. "Silence please!" he called, subduing the voices of the ponies. "That's quite enough of that. Is there any evidence?"

"Bring in the first witness," the bailiff called out.

The guards opened the side doors and a pink filly walked in. A diamond-studded tiara was perched on her head. She sauntered over to the stand and climbed onto the box behind it, which was put there so that she could actually see over the stand.

"State your name and occupation

"Diamond Tiara," the filly said haughtily. "I am a student of Miss Cheerilee at Ponyville School." She turned and glowered at the mailmare, who stared back at her with two unfocused golden eyes.

"Tell us what you saw," the Doctor said.

"Gladly. I was out walking with my cat Dazzle when I heard loud noises coming from the market. I went to check it out. When I got there, I saw these two," she pointed at the Princess and the mailmare, "running from the scene. Behind them, the entire marketplace was in shambles. The Bakers Dozen was holding a meeting that day and had brought their best work. Evidently, somepony decided to take advantage of that."

"SHUT UP!" A cyan pegasus shot out of the gallery towards the witness stand. "What do you think you're doing?!" Rainbow Dash demanded, hovering an inch from Diamond Tiara's nose. The proximity forced Diamond back to the edge of the box where she fell off and onto the floor.

Two security ponies hurried to the stand to restrain Rainbow. They dragged her into the corner, where she sat bucking and insulting like there was no tomorrow. The Doctor watched the spectacle with minor interest, ignoring the guards' trussing up Rainbow Dash and seating her beside them. "So Ms. Tiara, you say you saw the Princess and her companion fleeing the scene of the crime?" he inquired.

"Yes," Diamond replied, looking very pleased with Rainbow's reining-in. "I walked into the market and found the Bakers Dozen meet ruined, baked goods scattered over the street. One tray was left untouched aside from being empty: muffins." She pointed at the accused ponies. "Their saddlebags were laden with trays, each one bearing dozens of muffins. But by the time the officials caught up to them, the muffins were gone. Even the tray weren't found."

"Are you suggesting that the accused ate the muffins and the trays?" the Doctor asked humorously.

"Hmm, maybe," Diamond Tiara mused. "It really wouldn't be the first time that googly pegasus did something stupid."

In the corner, Rainbow Dash was seething but Applejack saw a look of anger flash across the judge's face, if only for a moment. That gave the farmpony hope as the court session continued. "Is that everything, Ms. Tiara?" the Doctor asked.

"Yes, it is. It should be sufficient for you."

The Doctor dismissed the filly with a hoof and she wen to go sit by her father Filthy Rich, who didn't look so content to be in the courtroom at all. The ponies were silent as the judge considered the evidence. "What have you to say about all this?" the Doctor asked, addressing the two accused mares.

The grey pegasus stood up. All eyes were on the mailmare, who has been known for her cute and friendly attitude, expert deliveries and love for muffins. But there was no way she would have stolen the baked goods, no matter how much she enjoyed them. Everypony in the gallery was sure of her innocence and, of course, that of the Princess's too.

"I confess," Derpy Hooves declared.

The temperature seemed to drop by several degrees. Mailmare Derpy Hooves, a thief? The truth was so hard to swallow, some ponies refused to believe it. Dinky almost jumped out of her seat towards her mother, but Sparkler held her back. Things only became worse when the other accused pony stood up, standing only slightly taller than Derpy.

"I confess as well," announced Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of friendship

The courtroom was thrown into a chaos bigger than Discord's. Ponies were shouting at the top of their lungs, the Bakers Dozen were appalled, Diamond Tiara's smug look caused Rainbow Dash's power to fly to its limits, allowing her to break her bonds, shove away the guards and charge at her, only to be held back by Applejack and Rarity . The Doctor watched impassively as the court descended into madness, the only silent ones himself and the accused mares: one a local royal, the other his personal assistant and friend. He looked at Derpy with confusion and questioning but the pegasus merely smiled up at him, her disoriented-looking eyes staring up at him.

With a heavy heart, the Doctor picked up the gavel and slammed it down on the bench once more, the crash drowned out by the ruckus of the public.

*

"After the judge managed to get control over the crowd, he sentenced us to imprisonment until next season."

"Whoa. Tough break, Princess Twilight."

"Oh, you don't need to call me 'Princess', Fuse. We're all convicts here."

Fuse-A-Lot scratched his mane in embarrassment. He'd been sent to prison for messing with the Manehatten power lines for a dare and several hundred bits. He'd never stopped regretting his actions until his new cellmates arrived. Twilight and Derpy had been a great comfort to him in jail and now he couldn't think of anywhere else that he would rather be, aside from home.

"Still, you must feel pretty bad. You lost everything that you had, your friends and your jobs, over a couple of muffins."

"A couple hundred muffins," Derpy corrected him.

"Yeah, so why'd you do it?" Fuse asked.

Twilight looked out through the bars of their cell. "It was for a good cause," she said mysteriously.

"You mean stuffing your bellies full for one afternoon," came a rude but humorous voice from the stallion next door. Ascendio Interrupt had flown into a tropical aviary and caused countless exotic birds to shoot over the visiting crowds, which No. 2'd on everypony. It wouldn't have been so bad if a number of high-class froufrou Canterlot ponies hadn't been at the aviary at the time and were quite disappointed if not overly repulsed by the bird droppings coating their very expensive outfits. After a few posh angry complaints, Ascendio was locked up. He was unusually cheery for a pony behind bars with several weeks to serve.

"We didn't stuff our bellies, Ascendio," Twilight told the pegasus.

"Although I did get mine rubbed," Derpy admitted to Fuse.

"By who?" he asked, wondering why Derpy would make such a big deal out of it. "Was it the Doctor?"

"No. It was....."

"Was what?" Ascendio inquired, feigning interest.

"I'm sorry Fuse, but I can't tell you," Derpy informed with an apologetic smile.

Ascendio turned over and faced the wall. "Next thing you'll know, she'll be telling you that they didn't eat all those muffins."

"We didn't," Twilight announced plainly.

This came as a bit of a blow to both the other prisoners. "Then where are they?" Fuse asked, his mind reeling.

Twilight and Derpy exchanged looks. They couldn't just tell anypony what they did with those muffins. For starters, nopony would even believe them. They'd been asked not to tell, they'd given their word and they were going to keep it..... Then again, they were in deep trouble. Stealing muffins from the Baker's Dozen was wrong, even if they did charge outrageously for their goods. But it was for a good cause and both Twilight and Derpy believed what they did was the right thing, no matter what the cost.

"Sorry Fuse, but we can't tell you," Derpy explained.

"What we can tell you," Twilight said suddenly, remembering something important, "is that not only do we not have the muffins, we gave them away."

"Gave them away?" Fuse repeated. "To who?"

The Princess of Friendship looked up at the moon hovering in the night sky. "I have a feeling all of Equestria will soon know who."

*

"Ack, this stinks!"

"Ah can't believe that no-good Diamond Tiara did that!"

Everypony was at Sweet Apple Acres, discussing the day's events. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were pacing back and forth, ranting about everything that went wrong and searching for things that could have done to change the situation. Spike, Fluttershy, Rarity and Pinkie Pie were watching them with decreasing interest. Twilight in jail and Derpy with her. The facts were undeniable yet they all refused to believe they were at fault.

"Twilight didn't steal those muffins," Spike said stubbornly. "And neither did Derpy."

"There was a whole crowd of witnesses, Spikey-wikey," Rarity told him sadly. "There was too much evidence against them."

"What are we going to do now?" Fluttershy asked. "Twilight has her royal duties and Derpy has her own job. What were they thinking, sentencing them to time in prison?"

"I think I might know!" Pinkie said brightly.

Everyone perked up at this. "Really Pinkie?" Spike wondered desperately. "What? What?"

"Oh, not me, Spike, but someone else probably has a shrewd idea."

"Who?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Me," a voice said into her ear, causing the pegasus to jump.

Fluttershy immediately threw her hooves up and smiled warmly. "Discord!"

The draconequus grinned unsurely as Fluttershy hugged him, but he returned the gesture. "I heard about the court session and I must say I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"Why?" Rarity wondered curiously. "So you could throw water balloons at the bailiff?"

"Oh, that's a good idea!" Discord said brightly. "I never really liked that pony anyway. But no, I had other things on my mind."

"Like what? Come on, Discord. Please!" Spike gripped the draconequus' lion paw.

Discord lifted Spike and looked at him with his mismatched eyes. "My my my, you've gotten a little frantic, haven't you?" he said in a pitiful tone, daintily pinching Spike's cheek. "Feeling lost and forlorn without your princess around?"

"YES!" they all shouted, surprising Discord.

"Ah," he exclaimed, feeling just a bit ashamed. "I see."

"So what is it, Discord?" Rainbow asked. "What really happened with those muffins?"

"Oh, isn't it obvious? And you were all connected long before I even appeared."

Spike and the ponies just stared. "Huh?"

"Come now, you know. Our other friends. You've all got some. Especially you, Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow Dash glanced at her friends, a look of realization crossing her face. "Oh. Those friends. You mean that's why they stole all those muffins?" she asked Discord.

"I'm quite certain. They were in need of some.... special muffins."

"And they don't get any specialer than Equestrian muffins!" Pinkie announced.

"Lemme get this straight," Applejack said. "Our friends went and asked Twilight an' Derpy to fetch them some muffins, but they got caught. Why didn' they just come and buy the muffins themselves?"

"There could be multiple reasons," Discord mused and counted them off on his claws. "The don't have the right currency, they'd scary everypony within a hundred miles, the portal might be closed. It could be anything. Oh, by the way," he added, "we're all invited to their picnic." He snapped his tail and nine cards appeared out of thin air.

"Oh, sweet!" Rainbow Dash cheered, swooping in and grabbing her invitation.

"I heard that it's going to be as big as the Grand Galloping Gala," Rarity revealed. "Although the Gala itself was rather disappointing."

"Don' dwell on it too much, Rarity," Applejack told her. "Our friends wouldn't throw a fiasco."

Spike was holding three invitations. "There's one for Twilight and one for Derpy here too," he said sadly. "Do they know that they won't be able to come?"

"Hmm." Discord leaned back on the air and stroked his goatee. "I may have mentioned a few things to them. Then again, they always seem to know what's going on in Equestria."

"So they do know what happened?" Fluttershy asked.

Discord smiled and wrapped a paw around the pegasus. "Yes Fluttershy, they know. In fact, not only do they know, they're coming to do something about it."

"Didn't you say that they couldn't come here?" Rainbow Dash inquired.

"I never said that," the draconequues corrected. "I only said that it might be a factor to their not getting the muffins themselves." Discord peeled back the fur on his right arm and checked the time. "They should be here in an hour. I think we should go wait to welcome back Twilight and Derpy when they're free."

"But how will our friends bust 'em out?" Applejack asked. "The prison's like a rat trap and is crawling with guards."

"Oh, don't worry about them, dear Applejack," Discord assured, tugging a Welcome Back sign out of a bush. "Everything will be just fine."

Author's Note

This was supposed to be the funny part, the next one's just a tad more serious

Freeing Friends

Ascendio shoved his muzzle through the bars separating their cells. "Jeez Princess, how long are you going to keep staring at the moon?"

"It's how I'm keeping track of time, Ascendio," Twilight replied calmly.

"I still think it's all just a load of cake," Ascendio muttered. He turned towards the corner of the cell. "Hey Fuse! You wanna play a round?"

Fuse looked up from his cards. "You say something, Ascendio?" he called out automatically.

"Fuse, it's your turn," Derpy reminded him.

"Oh right." Fuse put down a Canterlot flush. "So what were you saying, Ascendio?"

"Uch, forget it." Ascendio pulled his face free of the wall and clopped over to the window. He stared up at the moon and tried to remind himself of the good times when he was free, flying carelessly about and dropping rotten fruit on ponies without getting caught. Until he overdid it and got landed in prison. "Seriously Princess, enough hiding under the sun. Where are those muffins?"

"I'm telling you the truth, Ascendio," Twilight said. "We gave them away."

"To some ponies you're not telling us about," the stallion murmured.

"They're not ponies," Derpy objected, showing a hoofful of aces and taking the round.

"Then what are they?!"

"Put a lid on it, Ascendio," Fuse insisted. "Getting angry won't answer your questions."

"Ascendio Interrupt," Twilight said, turning around, "I Pinkie Promise that before this night is out, you'll get your answers. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." She moved her hoof into the various positions, sealing the promise.

Confused but content, Ascendio nodded and plopped himself down on the bed in his cell. "He'll get a real buck out of it if nothing happens tonight," Fuse warned the Princess. "Ascendio holds ponies to their promises just as much as Pinkie Pie." He thought for a moment. "Although maybe not quite as sternly."

"Don't worry, Fuse," Derpy said calmly, shuffling the cards for the next round. "They'll come, you'll see."

Twilight nodded and turned back to the window. Her mind began to wander, thoughts of her worried friends filling her head. They're probably all worried sick. None of us have ever been locked up before. But there's no doubt that the choice Derpy and I made was the right one. They needed those muffins. She looked up at the moon, its cratered face shining down on Equestria. But now that they know of our predicament, they'll try to come and spring us loose. All our work would be for naught and they'd end up behind bars.

Twilight looked down the mountain at Ponyville, several miles away. The prison never really seemed to her like a bad place, but now that she was in it, she could only hope none of her friends would ever end up inside. Not that it would matter much. A lot of the ponies in here are just pranksters like Fuse and Ascendio, not real criminals. And besides, if any friend of theirs were put under lock and key, they'd come together to free them.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFWWWWWWWWWWWW

The air was suddenly filled with a loud humming sound. Twilight, Derpy and Fuse all jumped. "What's that noise?" Fuse asked, glancing wildly about.

"They're coming!" Derpy cried out. "They're coming!"

Ascendo woke with a start. "Where? What? Who?"

"Up there." Twilight pointed. All four jailed ponies rushed to the window and looked up. The moon was glowing brighter and brighter, multicolored rings circling the giant rock. The rings grew bigger and the humming became louder. All at once, the rings joined together into a single rainbow band which shot down towards Ponyville. Once it had impacted just outside of town, another bolt of color shot up from the landing point and zoomed towards the prison.

"It's coming straight for us!" Ascendio wailed. "We're doomed!"

"No we're not!" Derpy yelled confidently. "Here they come!"

True enough, the rainbow bolt flew right up to their window before sharply turning and going around the prison out of sight. The inmates looked down at Ponyville. Where the glowing energy had touched down was now what looked like a military camp made up of all sorts of equipment, none of which were identifiable from their position.

"Who are they?" Fuse asked, failing to hide the excitement in his voice.

"Those are our friends," Twilight replied happily, her entire being glowing. "They're the ones who have kept our secret from their own world, and us theirs in Equestria. They're the ones who we stole the muffins for, so that they might get a taste of Equestria in celebration."

"They're so nice," Derpy sighed dreamily. "They all look different, just like us ponies, and they love us all so much."

"You know," Fuse said quietly. "I think I'm going to like these friends of yours."

"Like them after they rescue us," Ascendio growled, feeling a bit miffed from the shock he got. "If they rescue us."

"Stop being so negative, Ascendio," Fuse demanded. "As long as I've known you, all you've ever shown was bitterness towards everything."

"I'm in jail!" Ascendio roared, pushing up against the bars. "I have every right to be bitter!"

"Would you both shut up?"

Everpony turned inwards. One of the prison's unicorn sentries had come down the corridor their cells were in, swinging a wooden truncheon. "You've been rambling all day and all night," he said with a grin. "Don't expect us to ignore the rules just because of some fireworks."

"But they weren't-" Fuse started to say, but Derpy covered his mouth.

"We're sorry, sir!" Derpy apologized loudly. "We were just frightened by the sudden noise. We're really glad you're here now."

The guard looked confused. "Hmm?"

"You've kept us all, err.... safely locked up in here since we were each imprisoned," Derpy continued, going up to the cell door. "You would stand by our cell, drifting off when it was too quiet, shouting at us when we caused trouble. You've made our time here in prison, um..... bearable. It was so nice of you."

"Uh huh..." The guard glanced at Derpy, then Fuse, then Twilight, before coming to rest on Ascendio. Then it struck him. "Oh! I've seen this before. You're trying to butter me up so I'll let you go." He leaned forward, bumping his muzzle against Derpy's. "Well it's not happening, filly. You lot are gonna serve your time in full and nopony is gonna change that!"

"You're right," Derpy agreed, her muzzle twitched against the guard's." Nopony is going to change that."

"That's right, and.... Wait a minute." The guard frowned. "Why are you agreeing with me?"

Derpy smiled innocently. "Because you're right."

And with that, the stallion's eyes rolled upwards and he fell the the floor unconscious. Behind the unicorn stood a tall light-blue-furred bipedal figure, draped in oddly-colored clothes, cradling a large cylinder in one finger-ended arm and wielding a fist in the other. The being had a mop of rainbow-striped hair on its head and a pair of cyan wings on its back.

"Guards," the creature said slowly, "are like minions. One direct blow and they're out."

"Rainbow Smash!" Twilight cried out, rushing towards the door and reaching out towards the being. "It's so good to see you again."

"Same here, Twi," the creature said with a smile.

Ascendio gaped. "What in Tartarus is that?" he shrieked, backing up against the wall.

"Be nice, Ascendio," Derpy insisted. "This is one of our friends."

"Kinda weird-looking, isn't he?" Fuse wondered, staring up at the tall figure.

"He's a human," Twilight explained. "That's how they look."

"Not normally," the human said, lowering the cylinder. "Equestria has blessed us with part-pony forms. The name's Rainbow Smash, although that's not my real name. I'm your ticket out of this dump, so stand away from the door everypony."

He lifted the cylinder in both arms and Twilight, Fuse and Derpy moved back to the wall. Ascendio laughed and moved towards the separating bars. "This is a joke, right? I mean, what can that fat pole do to metal bars?"

The answer came swiftly and explosively. Rainbow pulled on a stick on the side of the cylinder and a fat chromatic laser beam shot out of the end, cutting through the bars like a knife through a moldy apple. Rainbow Smash tipped his hat and chuckled. "That."

"Yay, we're free!" Derpy leapt out of the cell and wrapped her front legs around Rainbow Smash. Twilight and Fuse walked out as well.

"That was interesting," Fuse said plainly, admiring Rainbow's firearm.

"I see you've taken to developing those Friendship Cannons with gusto," Twilight observed.

"You have no idea, Twi," Rainbow said, ruffling the alicorn's mane. "We've already started mass-producing and yet there are still bronies who're trying to create triple-barrel cannons." He shook his head. "Madness. So, now that you're out, let's get the hay out of here."

"But what about Ascendio?" Derpy asked, looking back at the still-imprisoned pegasus.

Rainbow Smash put Derpy down and kneeled in front of Ascendio's cell, looking at the stallion with contempt. "This pony reminds me someone. Humans who think we've desecrated our entire race. They attacks us, both verbally and digitally, sometimes even provoking us physically. It's creatures like them who make our lives miserable. It's creatures like this pony here who led to the attempted suicide of one of our younger herdmates." Rainbow's eyes were now wet with tears and a dark shadow had crossed his face. "It's too much for me."

Twilight and Derpy exchanged looks. Rainbow Smash was a very feely brony and this often assisted him in his actions. But sometimes it would get out of hoof and he would become overzealous or overemotional, neither of which were good feelings for him to bear. He wouldn't release Ascendio if he wasn't given a good reason, but neither of them knew enough about Ascendio to help spring him loose.

They were both surprised, however, when Fuse-A-Lot came forward. "Ascendio's a good pony, Rainbow," he began, putting a hoof on the human's furry leg. "He's just a little rough around the edges. He would never dream of causing any real harm. The whole reason he's even in jail is because some ponies can't take a joke."

Rainbow snorted, then sniffed. "Canterlot elite?" he asked, looking Fuse in the eye.

"Uh huh."

"Well, that changes everything!" From frown to bedazzling smile, Rainbow Smash jumped to his feet and lifted his Friendship Cannon. "Back away from the door, Ascendio. You're getting out of there."

Ascendio did as he was bid, smiling like the day of his imprisonment. The brony fired his weapon and blasted the bars to stubs in a wave of destructive rainbows. "Sweeeet!" Ascendio whistled, ducking under the ruined cell door.

"And now that you're all out, let's go!" Rainbow Smash announced, turning on his horse heels. The five of them wandered through the halls of the jail, watched by the various criminals in their cells. None made any attempt to slow down the escapees or even ask to be sprung themselves. They were too scared.

"So where do we go from here?" Fuse asked.

"Well, our ground base materialized right outside of Ponyville," Rainbow explained, his eyes on the door at the end of the corridor. "But my team and I separated and went straight to the prison entrance. They're scattered all over the place right now so we should met up with at least one of them." He pushed open the door and they all looked inside.

"Whoa," Ascendio exclaimed.

They had stumbled upon the guards' lounge, the room where off-duty guards would hang around until it was their shift. It was probably a lot tidier before because now it was a mess. Chairs and tables lay overturned. Sheaves of paper were strewn on the floor. Even more shocking were the unconscious ponies lying about, looking more than a little beaten and disoriented.

Even more shocking than that was the figure that dominated the center of the room. It was a creature much like Rainbow Smash, but much larger and definitely female. Her coat was a work of splattered art, her arms and legs not matching the rest of her furry form. In each huge hand she held a struggling guard by the neck.

"Seriously, it's no wonder the Changelings and Nightmare Moon beat you guys so easily," the being muttered. "You guys stink at this."

"Alright, Serenititan, you can put them down," Twilight said, walking towards her.

"But they're still moving!" Serenititan objected, holding the guards up so that Twilight could see.

"Well then, put their lights out," Fuse suggested. Then he realized. "Did I just make a joke related to my talent?"

"Most likely," Rainbow Smash confirmed.

Serenititan sighed. "Okay, fine." She swung the two ponies and brought their heads together with a might fine crack before dropping their limp, mumbling bodies on the floor. "Like I said, they stink."

"They probably weren't expecting somepony like you," Twilight said, rearing up and putting her front hooves on Serenititan's leg, the highest point she could reach from her height.

Ascendio looked around at the destruction. "You're having way too much fun with this, aren't you?"

"Are you kidding? Our first trip to Equestria in months and all I get to do is kick equine guard plot?" Serenititan looked down. Derpy had come over and was now hugging her left leg, Twilight doing the same on her right. "And getting hugs." She bent down and lifted the two mares in her arms, snuggling them.

"We're all just a bunch of softies," Rainbow Smash said to Fuse and Ascendio, who watched with increasing-

"Um, Rainbow?"

"Hmm?"

"Could we.... if you don't mind, that is..... maybe...."

"Come here, you four-legged equine fuzzball!" Rainbow Smash pulled Fuse into a one-armed hug, while reaching over and pulling a partly unwilling Ascendio in as well. The scene was full of warm, fuzzy feelings, so strong you could almost taste the rainbows in the air. Unfortunately, that level of pony was not achieved before more guards came through the doorway.

"Stop!" the lead pony shouted, ending the lovely moment. "You're all under arrest."

"That means you too, bipedal freaks!" another guard shouted.

Serenititan looked sad, and I mean really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really disappointed. She gently put down Twilight and Derpy, took a deep breath and charged at the ponies in the doorway, plowing through them like a herd of Native Equestrians.

"And that, my little ponies, is why you don't tell Serenity what to do," Rainbow Smash announced sagely, leading the jailbirds past the out-cold guards.

"Good advice, that," Fuse commented.

"We need to get out of here fast," Twilight reminded them. "Before the-"

BRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!! The sound of a thousand bells, accompanied by the shrill cry of several sirens, rang throughout the prison. Opening doors could be heard, as well as tens of hooves clomping around and battle cry pierced the evening air.

Twilight sighed. "That."

"Those alarms will alert every guard in the prison," Rainbow Smash said, surprisingly calm. "We need to get out and meet up with the rest of the advance party."

"Where are they?" Derpy asked.

"Right outside!" came Serenititan's voice from down the hall. "Hurry up, everypony!"

"Let's go!" With that, Twilight, Fuse, Derpy, Ascendio and Rainbow galloped down the corridor, pushing aside any guard ponies coming towards them. For some reason, there were even Canterlot royal guards stationed around the place, as if the jail had been expecting an attack and had called on backup. One orange pegasus poked his head out of a hallway to see what all the racket was about.

Are we under attack? he wondered. Then he saw the escapees coming towards him and quickly donned his helmet. "Stop right there, convicts! If not, I'l have to-"

Bonk! went the pegasus' helmet as Ascendio's balled-up wing connected with the hard metal. The force bounced back and forth through the guard's helmet, the ringing in his pony ears making it impossible to pursue. "Sorry, Flash!" Twilight yelled over her shoulder as she ran past, "but I've got a picnic to attend!"

"Wait, what?" Flash picked up his still-vibrating helmet from his head. "Twilight?"

Bonk! Another hit on the head, this time from Rainbow Smash's fist, the last one in the line of jailbirds. "Nopony likes you, Flash Sentry! Try to be more interesting!" With that, the five friends emerged into the courtyard.

It was absolute chaos (and not because Discord was spectating from the wall). A pile of dazed ponies lay just a few feet from the entrance, evidence of Serenititan's running through them. Scattered about were bronies fighting off the tide of guards coming in from all sides. Serenititan was barreling through the newest batch of guards like tenpins. Another brony, with large hooves instead of hands on his arms, was pummeling oncoming guards like there was no tomorrow. A third human with pony ears, brown skin, and a belt covered in familiar-looking stuffed toys was firing away with his own Friendship Cannon, rainbow-colored blaster bolts knocking out anypony they hit.

"Oh, I'm going to need more popcorn!" Discord chuckled, emptying his first helping on a prostrate guard at the foot of the wall.

"That's your fourth one already, Discord!" the plushie-strapped brony said with a laugh.

"Twenty-four! Twenty-five! Twenty-six! Twenty-seven!" the brony with over-sized hooves chanted as he struck down guard after guard.

"HRAAARGH!" Serenititan roared in her feminine voice, causing ponies to scatter in fear.

Twilight and her friends watched the fighting with a mixture of amazment and awe. Rainbow Smash looked around, thought for a moment and plucked a small capsule off his belt. "Okay ponies, duck inside for a minute. This is going to be rough."

"And miss the fighting?" Ascendio questioned.

"Come on, bro," Fuse said, grabbing the pegaus and pulling him inside. "Do what Rainbow says."

"What are you going to do, Rainbow?" Twilight asked the brony. Derpy looked worried too.

"A diversion. Don't worry, it won't hurt anypony. Now get inside, book horse."

"Come on, Twilight!" Derpy said, flying in after the stallions.

"Coming!"

Rainbow Smash waited until the ponies had shut the door, then he turned back to the battle. He pulled a pin on the capsule and rolled it into the middle of the courtyard. The capsule started to beep, first slowly, than faster and louder. All fighting stopped as everybody and everypony turned to see what was making the noise.

One stallion made the mistake of opening his fat muzzle. "What the b-"

FWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH! A wave of rainbows and cutie mark-shaped beams exploded from the capsule, washing over the combatants. Every guard in the courtyard was knocked out as the bright lights reached them, leaving the bronies completely unharmed if not slightly crazy-looking. Rainbow Smash nodded approvingly. "That worked better than I thought it would." He knocked on the door to the prison. "Ponies, the coast is clear."

Twilight and the other ponies trotted out, surveying the scene. "What was that?" Derpy asked, her mismatched eyes trying to take it all in.

"A Harmony Grenade," the brony with hoof arms explained. "We made them so that they would only harm the foes of the one using it. So when Rainbow Smash set the grenade, it would only affect the guard ponies. Neat huh?"

"Since it's a prototype, we're not sure if it affects all creatures of the same opposing species," the brony with plushies expanded. "That's why we had you duck inside while the Grenade was activated."

"That's what we call a smart bomb," Serenititan giggled.

"Pretty darn smart indeed," Fuse agreed.

"Okay, everypony!" Rainbow yelled. "Fall in!"

The ponies and bronies all lined up, saluting smartly. Rainbow Smash walked along the line, calling out their names. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, Fuse-A-Lot, Epic Brohoof, Derpy Hooves, Serenititan, Ascendio Interrupt, Plush Pone, Scoo-" The rainbow-haired brony looked about, then turned to the doll-dressed human. "Plush Pone, where's Scootaloopdeloop?"

Plush Pone's equine ears twitched smugly. "She's up there," he said, pointing to the sky.

Everypony looked up. Three pegasi prison guards were in the middle of a dogfight with a female brony. She had two enormous orange-brown wings which she used to soar and dive away from the ponies. In an amazing show of dexterity, the modified human bopped the ponies, flew circles around them and whipped up a whirlwind that buffeted them and deposited their beaten equine forms on the ground in front of the group of friends.

The brony landed smoothly next to her foes. "Somepony looking for me?" she asked innocently.

"Scootaloopdeloop," Rainbow Smash said slowly.

"That's me."

Rainbow nodded. "We got what we came for," he announced to the other bronies, gesturing to Twilight and the others. "Our friends, who were arrested for helping us. We wanted true Equestrian muffins at our picnic and they generously offered to get us some. But they had no choice but to pinch the requested quantity from under the noses of the Bakers Dozen. For this, they were sentenced to imprisonment till next season, a period in which they cannot be in jail for. And so, we came to spring 'em loose, even at the cost of our own clean slates."

"Friendship forever!" Scootaloopdeloop and Serenititan cheered.

"Hoof-bump!" Plush Pone yelled, mashing his fist against Epic's hoof.

"More security guards!" Discord applauded, spraying popcorn everywhere.

Twilight and Rainbow blanched. "Wait, what?"

Another, louder siren went off. Red lights flashed all over the mountaintop Equestrian prison. The clip-clop of hooves was heard in abundance. Worse yet, a net of electricity zapped into existence over the courtyard and the only exit was closing.

"To the exit, everypony!" Rainbow Smash yelled. "Quick!"

They all rushed towards the rapidly-sinking portcullis. Discord, who had been unceremoniously knocked off the wall by the electric dome-seal, was holding up the gate so that his friends could get through.

"Hurry, hurry!" he implored as Fuse, Derpy and Ascendio whooshed past him. "Of course, I could hold this up indefinitely, but I would very much like to-URK!"

A dart embedded itself in his lion paw. Then another in his goat leg. These limbs began to shake and wobble and the Lord of Chaos trembled under the weight of the portcullis.

"Tranquilizer darts!" Scootaloopdeloop yelled.

"Scoots, get Twilight out of here!" Rainbow Smash demanded. "Serenity, combo-wife-throw!"

Serenititan nodded. She picked up Scootaloopdeloop, pulled her arm back and threw the winged brony towards the exit. Scootaloopdeloop zoomed forward, gathering Twilight in her arms as the flew towards the gate.

"Come on, come on, hurry please!" Discrod begged, his form beginning to sag as the contents pf the darts took their toll on his chaotic body.

Scootalopdeloop twisted in mid-air. "Go long, Twilight!" She tossed the Princess of Friendship across the yard and under the gate, just as Discord let it drop.

Twilight was immediately up and beating against the iron portcullis. "We'll get you out, guys!" she said to the bronies, preparing to cast a spell.

"NO!" they all yelled, blowing the alicorn and the draconequues back.

"We did all this just so you could attend the picnic," Rainbow Smash reminded. "We've partied in the past, we know what we'll be missing."

"But the muffins," Derpy said, reaching through the bars. "What about the muffins?"

"Don't worry, Ditzy," Epic Brohoof comforted, stroking the grey mare's mane. "We had some before we left."

Plush Pone pointed down the mountain. "Our base is set up down there," he explained. "We've got a portal system so that anypony can move between Earth and Equestria, although we're not sure anymore where the picnic's gonna be."

"You were invited, you know," Discord said, pulling two invitations out of thin air and offering them to the mares.

"What about Fuse and me?" Ascendio asked.

"All ponies are invited," Rainbow Smash disclosed. "The invitations were made by our younger herdmates, the ones who don't quite know everypony in Equestria. That takes the work of adults."

"Like us," Serenititan finished.

Tears welled up in Twilight's eyes. "But you're going to be locked up!" she cried. "Put into a dark cell like we were!"

Scootalopdeloop laughed "Twiligth Sparkle, we're about to get imprisoned in Equestria! Bronies would face the Cutie Mark Crusaders on full adorable-mode for this kind of treatment."

"You mean you guys are thrilled that you're gonna get jailed?" Ascendio inquired.

The five bronies exchanged glances. "Eyuup," they replied in unison.

Ascendio grinned. "I love you guys."

"Love you too, Ascendio," Plush Pone said. "Now get your flank in gear and scram."

"HALT!" came the order as even more security guards galloped out of the prison, yards of shackles raised in magical levitation fields.

"Go, go, get out of here, picnic!" Serenititan squealed happily.

Twilight, Derpy, Ascendio and Fuse turned-tail and hurried down the mountain, the Princess carrying Discord in her magic. The drugged draconequees turned his head around and snapped his tail, sending a wall of custard pies sailing through the lightning net and raining down on the guards. The pies didn't stop them, but it made for a good last laugh.

"We'll come back for you, my friends!" Twilight called back to the bronies. "I Pinkie promise!"

"Now that, we're okay with," Rainbow Smash declared. "But that's for a later day. Get out of here, ya silly filly!"

"Enjoy yourselves!" Discord yelled. "I know I sure would."

"FRIENDSHIP!" Twilight sang out, jets of magic shooting out of her horn as she scampered down the mountain with her inmate mates by her side.

Rainbow Smash watched the fleeing figures of his equine friends disappear as two stallions cuffed his furry arms together. They were taking no chances with Serenititan, chaining her like a fly in a spider's web, but she ignored this and continued to rage and flop all over them. Plush, Epic and Scoots did likewise, making sure to distract the guards from their true quarries. Rainbow Smash turned his eyes towards the night sky, smiling up at the Princess of the Night.

"Mm hmm. Everything is going to be just fine."

Author's Note

The picture I used for the cover art is the whole reason for this story's existence. when I first saw it about half a year ago, the idea sprang into being. Sorry it took so long to finish, I've taken on way too many projects.