Muffin Time with Derpy Hooves!

by DragonLS

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Dinky Hooves, Sex, Random, Derpy Hooves
Length: 1836

Derpy loves Muffins. But do Muffins love you?

NOTE: Name changed to Derpy Hooves to avoid confusion.

Derpy Hooves always loved muffins... and she always adored them... But what if she loved her muffins for a solely different reason... a sexually desirable reason?

This is another fic I decided to make with some random spare time.

Also, this was once again based on an IRC coversation from several months ago, around the same time I made Candy Time with Pinkie. I did want to execute this idea all those months ago, but it didn't exactly hit me until just now. The more I thought about it, the more giggles it gave me, so I figured "What the hell", why not Muffins too?

*brings up the Muffin shield*

Published 2012-04-16 15:14:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-16 15:14:00 UTC

Muffin Time with Derpy Hooves

Muffin Time with Derpy Hooves

The mail… When it comes to mail, you can receive nearly anything from it. Some of it being something you ordered, something surprising, or, perhaps, something just plain freaky and strange. Everyone has their freaky and strange side. Pinkie’s love of candy, Fluttershy’s love for animals, Twilight’s love for books—everyone has a side of them that they use.

But what of the gray mail-mare: Derpy Hooves?

A tiring day from the post office she worked at, and she wanted to do nothing but relax. As she stepped inside her home, she was met with her young one, Dinky. Derpy gives her small filly a big hug, and gives her a small kiss on her forehead. The small gray filly kept hopping up and down, seeing her own mother home, happy as happy can be. Derpy gave a small nervous smile as she placed a hoof on Dinky’s head.

“Now now, no need to get excited Dinky. Mother has had a long day…” She said as she walks down the hall of her own home. Dinky couldn’t help but notice that she was also carrying a rather big box wrapped in paper on her back. The paper was brown, and there were several mailing stamps on the sides of the box. Dinky gave a small ooh sound as she wondered what was in it.

“Mommy, what’s in the package? Is it a gift for me?” Dinky asked as she circled around her one and only mother. Derpy only gave a small grin to her.

“Just something for mommy after a long week of work… So many angry clients, so many packages to deliver… and an anvil falling from the mailing carriage to boot.” She cringed at the last one. Who would mail an anvil to a posting office, she thought? It was weird in the greatest sense, especially with something so heavy. Dinky gave a small frown as she heard it wasn’t for her.

“Awww, but I wanted a present…!”

“Don’t worry Dinky, I’m sure I’ll get you something next week. Right now, mommy just needs to rest…”

As Dinky continued to pester her about what was in the package, Derpy just wanted to get some peace and quiet, and enjoy her… package, to herself. She turned towards Dinky and told her to go off and play while Derpy needed some private time alone.

As she walked up towards her bedroom, she immediately locked the door from behind her; because for what she wanted to unleash, was too big for filly eyes, especially since she didn’t want her own daughter to see it. She placed the box down onto the floor, next to her bed.

Making sure the windows in her bedroom were covered, she looked at the brown box…

With a look of lust.

“Mommy had been waiting for such a long time for this package to get here… and now…” Derpy grinned as she tore open the package with her teeth, revealing a white plastic box the more the paper is torn. She spits out whatever brown paper that laid in her mouth, and gave a devilish grin.

“It’s Muffin Time!”

She opens the lid of the white cardboard box, and sees a treat to behold inside the cubed container. What lay in the box were several types of bread treats—muffins to be exact. Some were shaped oddly than others, and some had several different colors to them. She started to count the muffins with her hoof, while muttering the different type of flavors and colors there were: Strawberry, Blueberry, cream-filled muffins, Raspberry, Bran—there were so many flavors she couldn’t count them all, and there were so many muffins in one box.

She took one out with her hoof, which looked like a strawberry muffin, what with the small red dots here and there on top… She took a long sniff toward the muffin, and gave it a small lick. The taste buds on her tongue went wild with excitement and curiosity.

“Mmmm, that tastes good…” She took a small nibble into the muffin with her teeth, feeling the bready treat fill her mouth as she roamed her tongue along inside her saliva-filled glands. It tasted like a fruity heaven to her, and she gave it a small swallow.

Then, immediately, she threw the muffin into the air, and opened her mouth wide. The muffin obeyed gravity and started to drop into Derpy’s mouth. With a big ‘munch’ sound, she consumed the muffin into her mouth, chewing it and enjoying the flavor of strawberry inside her mouth. With a big gulp, the muffin is consumed to the very bowels of her digestive system, and giving a satisfying look as she rubbed her tummy.

“Yummy… mailing all those muffins from that sweets shop in Manehatten was worth it… If that muffin tasted good, I wonder if the others do too…!” She said with glee. She slammed her face towards the inside of the box, sniffing the contents inside and immediately grabbing another random muffin with her teeth. She flipped the muffin into her mouth, whole, and started chewing and tasting it like the last muffin. Her body shuddered from the sweet sensations of the raspberry flavored muffin. It sent a shiver that was pleasurable, something she hasn’t felt in such a long time… It filled her with… anticipation, lust, rapture. It was driving her with curiosity. Something--

wonderful and ingenious.

She looked at the muffins inside the box, and saw one that looked immediately familiar: A cherry muffin. She grabbed one out of the box and was about to bite into it, but then inspiration struck her. If a muffin could send waves of pleasure inside her mouth… then what if it worked in another particular spot? So she decided to do the next best thing.

She pounds the muffin into her crotch.

What she felt was a different pleasure altogether… not a pleasure of taste, but a pleasure of sexual desire… She rubbed the crumbly muffin of cherries and bread into her moist marehood even more, rubbing it even harder as it throbbed wildly and released its own juices, as if it were a lubrication for the muffin to pleasure her even more. As she rubbed it, though, the muffin slowly started to reduce itself into crumbs, and was no longer one solid muffin, but several tiny pieces of bread crumbs.

Her wet sex was covered with crumbs, but she didn’t want to stop there, no, not yet. What she felt was heavenly, something she never felt before. She wanted more, by Equestria she REALLY wanted more!

Grabbing another muffin, which looked to be like blueberry, she shoved it into her wet sex once more, but this time, making sure to spread the lips of her pink glands with one other hoof, so it could go inside her. The muffin was too big to fit entirely, but the tip of the muffin sent waves of pleasure into her, making her shiver as it tried to go deep inside her.

“Oh by Equestria, yes…! Fill me with your bread and sweets, my muffin… Mmm… More…!” She moaned. She couldn’t take it anymore. Grabbing the entire box of muffins, she dumped it over her entire body. Several muffins dumped out from the box, as if a waterfall of muffins were flowing down on her. With several different kinds of muffins covering her body, she grabbed the closest one to her and repeated the same process as before, but this time it was a banana cream muffin. As she shoved it in, it exploded with cream, covering her lower region with cream and covering her thighs with it.

She couldn’t help but lick her spare hoof that was covered in the cream and her sex juices… Giving it a small lick, she started sucking on it, consumed with ecstacy. The stick bread crumbs combined with the juices just made her want even more, there was just no end to it!

Eventually, she did stop to think. She was surrounded by muffins, muffins of several flavors. So what would happen if she shoved two muffins at once into her sex? She wanted to experiment, and she wanted the muffins inside her so badly, it was a feeling she wanted to feel more…!

Grabbing two other random muffins, one in each hoof, she shoved a bran muffin and a cherry muffin into her already banana creamed pink lips, sending waves of pleasure into her body. She moaned loudly as she felt the flavors and the bits of muffins get consumed inside her body. But she didn’t stop there. With each muffin slowly turning into crumbs, she shoved another muffin into her sex, repeatedly. Muffin after muffin she sent into her marehood, giving her waves of ecstacy, rapture, sexual numbness… her eyes crawled to the back of her head, not being able to withstand all of this desire.

Her sex throbbed greatly as she felt herself getting close, not wanting any of it to stop. She moaned loudly as her climax was reached after shoving five muffins into her sex at once, feeling her body shiver as it released its bodily love juices all over the floor, and all over the spare muffins that were piled around her…

She breathed in heavily, with sweat and love juices all over her body and muffins. She leaned her head back onto the hard floor, exhausted. She felt her body was released from a heavy burden, she felt… great, she was energized, and she didn’t feel as stiff before when she got home. It felt so fantastic to her, and she was happy that she could do such a thing like this… her experiment and curiosity paid off.

But now, there was only one more thing to do…

And that was to consume every single muffin inside this room…!

She immediately leapt up, and started to munch on every single muffin that was inside this room. She opened her mouth wide and acted like a bulldozer—scooping up every muffin in her path into her mouth, making her chew every single thing. The only problem is, there were so many muffins that her stomach could only take so much…

How was she going to get rid of all these delicious and wonderful muffins? Then, an idea crept into her mischievous mind… who said she should have all of these muffins to herself?

She went towards her bedroom door, and unlocked it. Her head crept out of the door, and could see Dinky Hooves playing with some toys in the hallway. She grinned when she saw her. This is when Dink saw her mother from the doorway, with a smile of her own, but she found something odd about her… Derpy’s face was covered with breadcrumbs, and had sweat forming on her face. Derpy brought a hoof out from the doorway, and motioned her to come here.

“Oh Diiiiiiiinky… Mommy has a present for you…!”