Discord's Trash, Twilight's Treasure

by Manes

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Comedy
Length: 3146

Discord finds the golden cane given to dear old Twilight Sparkle sitting alone in the closet. Webs covering it, nothing to shield it from the cold. Now what kind of friend throws away a thoughtful gift? Twilight Sparkle of course!

Discord finds the golden cane given to dear old Twilight Sparkle sitting alone in the closet. Webs covering it, nothing to shield it from the cold. Now what kind of friend throws away a thoughtful gift?

Twilight Sparkle of course!

What kind of friend would Discord be if he let it rot? With the snap of his fingers, a wild golden unicorn appears and hours of snuggling begin.

Special thanks to Dash The Stampede, YourPersonalTherapist and Lord Of Dorkness for helping me with this story.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-22 05:51:14 UTC

Prologue

Discord stood in front of an opened door to the closet of Twilight’s recently grown castle.

Dumbfounded. No, SHOCKED! He was shocked to see the present he had given Twilight—showing he meant business when it came to their friendship—in the closet like that.

How could she just throw it in the closet like that? Discord shook his head in disappointment. He walked inside and stopped at the foot of the golden cane. Sitting alone with nothing to shield it in the cold, a disappointed godlike creature shed a tear. “Twilight, why are you so cruel?”

Then suddenly, that devilish smirk reappeared on his face. “Oh what am I being sad about? I forgot I could do anything!” He said as he snapped his fingers. A limited light shined in the closest. Then after a couple seconds, he stood alone in the dark again.

Well, not alone, but with something alive! Discord could see the golden smirk on its face as she stood in front of him. “Let’s go say hi to our dear friend, Twilight Sparkle!”

Twilight smiled. Finally, she finished the last book on other ancient spells! She trotted to the library shelves and put the book back in its place.

At that same time, Discord and Twi-cane entered into the room. When Twilight spotted them entering, her smile fell. “Celestia dammit, Discord!” she shouted as she stormed right into his face. “What did you do this time?!”

“Meeeee?” Discord said with shock. The snap of his fingers brought a bright flash that blinded Twilight for a bit. His long red fainting chair appeared which he used to faint on. “Why must you always accuse your dear pal goody-two shoes, the god of chaos of doing such bad deeds!”

As Twilight was about to open her mouth again, Discord interrupted by pointing his finger at her as he shouted,“You're a bad friend!”

“What?” Twilight shook her head. “That’s not the issue right now. The issue is, I’m seeing what is supposed to be just a cane!” She said. “How’s this possible? This doesn't make sense!”

Discord chuckled, rubbing his fingers together. “Make sense? Dear Twilight, what fun is there—”

“Don’t say it!” Twilight’s hoof traveled to the direction where the mane-cane stood silently.

Just smiling.

“Why is that thing doing—”

“She,” Discord corrected.

Twilight blinked a couple times before answering,“What?”

“You called her a thing when clearly she’s not. You hurt her feelings,” Discord said as he waved around the emotionless face. “Shame on you, Twilight!”

“But—”

“Shaaammme!”

At the same time Discord shouted that, he snapped his finger and assaulted Twilight with a newspaper that appeared from thin air. “Stop that or I’ll turn you into an orange!” Twilight’s face boiling in hot rage told Discord to stop. “Turn that cane back into an inanimate object!”

Discord sighed. The chair disappeared as he stood up. “Uggh, always the smart ones are boring,” Discord said. “Why can’t you be more like Pinkie—wait change that.” He tugged on his beard as he hummed to himself.

Meanwhile, Twilight stared in horror as his beard scratched onto the floor, growing longer and touching her hooves. “Ummm, Discord?”

Discord’s beard went back up into his chin as he stopped the tugging. “Forget it. The point is, this cane being alive could probably teach you some manners and not to throw away a friend’s gift.”

“Wait. This all happened because—”

Discord shouted with a toothy grin,“And because it’s fun, tootsies!” At the same time he waved them goodbye.

Twilight stomped down and groaned. “When I get my hooves on him!” Her anger died down at the same time golden snuggled her head under Twilight’s foreleg. “Ummm, can I help you?”

No words were needed as both mares stood silently. One of them, gaining a painful headache from this madness.

After Discord’s disappearance, Twilight went straight into the books searching for a spell to turn the cane back into an inanimate object. At the same time Twilight did this, Twi-cane stood silently to the left side of the desk Twilight sat near.

Twilight felt Twi-cane’s cold presence behind her. Oh Celestia, I hope she’s not violent. Damn that comic book about the living doll. Twilight asked herself why she just had to read it in bed!

As Twilight slowly turned around, at the same time, a pair of solid gold eyes stared straight into her soul. Twi-cane’s chilly solid face  was an inch away from Twilight’s. She didn't even blink as Twilight stared back.

Well she couldn't anyway after all, her eyes was sealed with the same color as her….coat?

“Umm, do you have a name?” Twilight asked. At first she completely stood still in the same spot, then suddenly, Twi-cane’s head wiggled its way under Twilight’s foreleg again. “Can you talk?”

Twilight's horn lit around the cane’s body, at first an purple aura surrounded the Twi-cane’s waist. Then suddenly, Twilight’s magic faded and Twi-cane was released from her magical grip.

What kind of gold did Discord make this out of? Is it even normal gold? Quickly Twilight levitated a quill out the drawer and written down her notes. After that, Twilight put the quill down and resumed staring. I wonder if she’s only unaffected by my magic, maybe she’s enchanted.  Probably would explain why no damage was done to her while teleporting with me like before what Spike.

A creak from the wooden floor echoed in the quiet Library as a result of Twi-cane moving closer. Twilight let out a sigh and continued to stare.“Hi?” She rubbed her chin as she examined all around the golden mare. “ I must admit. You are interesting, I just want to know your reasons for snuggling so much.”

Slowly, Twi-cane’s head turned to Twilight. A loud scream broke mirrors in ponies’ houses.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Spike finished placing the books in the correct order and turned towards the steps. “Twilight’s been up there for a while now,” he muttered. “She didn’t even notice the front door, she teleported here!”

He walked up the stairs until he reached the top where he stopped as he heard Twilight’s voice.

And only Twilight's voice.

“Oh no!” Spike sprinted to the desk in the distance. He went inside the drawer and took out a scroll along with a quill as he placed them down.  He began writing a letter to Princess Celestia.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Twilight has gone on her co-co routine again. I think she’s falling behind something you requested from her. Please come quick.

I’m scared.

Your favorite dragon,

Spike.

The scroll was engulfed in the fire as Spike finished writing the letter. Simultaneously, after he took one step away from the desk, a scroll surrounded with sparks fell to the floor. That was fast. He picked it up and unrolled the scroll until he saw Celestia’s writing.

Dear Spike,

I’ll be right there.

Your Princess,

Celestia.

While Spike summoned Celestia, Twilight aimed her horn at the golden mare standing in the distance. “Stay away from me!” The dim light in the room which Twilight should totally pay for didn’t make Twi-cane less scary. Twilight leaned slightly to the right and got a glance at the door in the distance. At that same time, Twi-cane blocked her view as she moved in the same direction Twilight was looking.

Twilight’s eyes widened as Twi-cane slowly walked to her.  “No, don’t come near me!” The sound became louder, and the smirk become more clear as she was near. “No more snuggling!”

Like Frankenstein, Twi-cane slowly walked towards its master backing away in fear. “What are you!?” Twilight shouted in the top of her lungs. “Why you want to snuggle me so much?”

Twi-cane was an inch away from snuggling Twilight into the abyss, but at the same time, a bright light blinded Twilight, not Twi-cane as the light revealed itself to be Celestia standing in front of them. “Discord’s doing?”

Twilight face-hoofed while Twi-cane went back to snuggling. “Discord.”

Chapter one: Snuggles (edited)

Twilight stood uncomfortably as Twi-cane snuggled her. Next to her, Celestia giggled at the display. “I must say, even for Discord's usual trick, I find this one to be adorable.”

Twilight blushed heavily. “Princesssssss, you’re embarrassing me.” A yelp escaped Twilight’s muzzle as Twi-cane’s snuggle grew harder. “Is...there...a...way...to...turn...her back?”

Celestia rubbed her chin as she paced around the room. After a good pacing, Celestia stopped. “I must say, I am impressed with this one. Twilight, I would like for you to keep her.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “What!”

“The cane’s clearly a pony now and has grown very fond of you rather quickly,” Celestia said. “I would hate to take that away from her. Give her the same chance your pony friends gave you and look at what you accomplished with that.” She walked over to the two and smiled at the golden mare huddled near Twilight. “She could accomplish great things if you let her.”

Twilight sighed and nodded. “Okay, but what if she becomes a threat?”

“A threat?” Celestia chuckled, shaking her head.

“I mean, she’s unaffected by my magic and—”

“I’m certain a hunk of gold wouldn’t be much of a difference.” Celestia turned to Twi-cane and giggled. “I apologize if I’ve offended you, merely making a point.”

Twi-cane just kept smirking as Twilight stared.

Celestia leaned over to Twilight’s ear as she whispered, “Can you hear us?” before returning to her spot.

Twilight shook her head. “No, I threatened to melt her and yet she attacked me.”

“Attacked you? Explain what she—"

“Snuggles. Cold snuggles.” Twilight shivered when she spoke the words “cold snuggle”. Twi-Cane was harmless, but the temperature of the Library made her body like a freezer. “So what are you suggesting I do with her?”

“Well, I would find a way to get the citizens of Ponyville in the same place and make the event about hmmm—” Celestia waved her hoof around the air at the same both mares standing in front of her stared at her. “What’s her name?”

Really Discord? You couldn’t even get her a name? Why am I calling an object a her? “Hmmmmm….Snuggles?”

At first, Celestia stared at Twilight as if she were crazy like last time, but then a smile appeared on her face, putting Twilight at ease. “Snuggles? What a pretty name.” She gave Snuggles a strong hug so she could feel welcome of being in the presence of a god. “Starwirl’s beard! She’s cold like the frost giants I once fought in battle!”

Twilight arched an eyebrow. “Frost giants?”

Celestia giggled and held a hoof to her mouth. “Forgive me, Twilight. Let’s get back to the matter at hoof. So, what do you suggest you do to make Snuggles known?”

Twilight rubbed her chin with her left hoof instead of her right, as for the time being, Snuggles snuggled up to it with an iron grip.

Or whatever metal Snuggles happened to be.

Twilight’s thoughts wandered back to the time she first arrived in Ponyville

Then, the realization smacked Twilight upside the head. I just need to find more about Nightmare’s Moon arrival and I can’t do it with a bunch of crazy ponies trying to make friends all the time!

*Click*

Suprise!

“That’s it!” Twilight shouted, waking Celestia up from the nap she had taken while Twilight was thinking. “I know what to do.”

Quickly Celestia stopped snoring and wiped the drool before Twilight saw her. “Hmmmm, yes. Yes my student, do tell me what you have planned.”

Twilight smiled. “It involves a party at Sugarcube corner and a hyperactive pony.”No way this plan will backfire.

Today was a beautiful day. The sun’s brightly-colored rays of light shone out for everypony to see and play in. Everypony was having the best time of their lives, enjoying the comforting warmth of Celestia’s sun. Everypony except Twilight herself, who was panting as a result of dragging Snuggles—who still held Twilight’s foreleg—all the way to Sugarcube Corner.

An exhausted sigh came from Twilight, feeling a great pain in her foreleg. Luckily SugarCube Corner wasn’t too far away or else her foreleg would have been gone hours ago. She could smell the sweet scent of maple syrup and oak as she walked inside the bakery. Currently, the place looked like an abandoned shack as silence and a cold feeling welcomed Twilight and Snuggles.

“Ummm, Hello?” Twilight dragged Snuggles to the counter and used her free hoof to ring the bell. After waiting a couple minutes, Twilight was still met with silence. “I wonder where everypony is, Snuggles.”

Snuggles smirked.

“I thought that too.” Twilight’s eyes widen and her head hung down. “I can’t believe I’m talking to metal.” Twilight head shot up as the front doors opened behind the counter and out came Mrs.Cake. “Good afternoon, I—”

“Good Morning,” Mrs. Cake corrected. As Twilight was about to question what she meant, a hoof pointing to the clock up the wall answered for her. “You’re here two hours before opening.”

Twilight looked at the clock before returning to Mrs.Cake with a giggle. “I must have stayed up because Snuggles kept me up.”

Mrs.Cake arched an eyebrow. “Who’s Snuggles?”

Twilight looked at Snuggles, who stood close the entire time, then back to Mrs.Cake. “You don’t see the gold mare next to me?”

Mrs.Cake quickly gave Snuggles a look before letting out a yawn. “Your friend uses Rarity’s gold glitter?”

“Huh?”

“Sit over there and let me get some coffee ready to get my head straight,” she said, pointing over to a table positioned near the window.

Twilight went to her table and sat down. She turned towards the window and gazed at a few ponies on their carriages riding by. After that, it felt like a ghost town outside. She was relieved nopony saw her dragging Snuggles all the way here. Her thoughts were interrupted as Mrs. Cake placed a plate of sweets in front of her. “Thank you.”

Even with her eyes shut, Mrs. Cake pulled up a chair and sat down facing Twilight with a cup of her own. “So why are you here so early, Twilight?”she asked, taking a long sip of her coffee.

Twilight took a sip before sitting it down. “I’m actually here for Pinkie Pie.”

“Upstairs sleeping.”

Twilight arched an eyebrow. “Pinkie Pie actually sleeps?”

Mrs.Cake giggled, feeling a little more awake, but not quite enough. “Yeah I was surprised too after she slept on her first day here,” she said as she took another sip.

Then another.

In any case, Mrs. Cake was downing the whole cup while Twilight stared unconformably and Snuggles….just sat near Twilight smirking. Mrs.Cake put the cup down and wiped her mouth as she finished with a smile. “Wooie I needed that!”

“Glad you’re feeling fully awake. What time does Pinkie Pie usually wake up? Because funny thing is, I—” Her body jumped up as a result of Mrs.Cake’s cup crashing onto the floor and a loud ear splitting scream broke some mirrors.

Mrs. Cake was fully awake now.

Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie’s ears perked up and a smile grew. “We playing the scream game again? But without Mr.Cake joining the fun? Okay!” She screamed as loud as she could upstairs in her room.

As Pinkie and Mrs. Cake screamed, and Snuggles snuggled her, Twilight simply face-hoofed.

Chapter two: Pinkie Gold

After the screaming match and Pinkie was announced winner, Twilight and Snuggles had went up in the party pony’s room. Surprisingly, the place was a little chilly, but it didn’t seem like a problem to Twilight since Snuggles gripped on her foreleg.

Luckily, Pinkie Pie bounced in the room and broke the silence with a simple, “Hiya!”

Twilight turned and smiled, Snuggles just….snuggled and smirk.

Pinkie Pie turned to the golden cane and said, “Hi, Snuggles!”

“Wait...how you know he---its name?”

Pinkie Pie shrugged. “I know a lot.”  She bounced and flopped on the floor next to Snuggle. “So do you like chocolate? Ooh oh! How about Strawberries? Or golden cause you’re gold!” She giggled.

Twilight could have sworn she seen Snuggles turned her attention to Pinkie Pie. “It can’t talk, Pinkie Pie.”

“Really? Awww, but I wanna talk to her, I mean who wouldn’t want to talk a lot like me!” Pinkie Pie smiled, not noticing Twilight roll her eyes. “I have to throw Snuggles a party to make her feel better!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Pinkie, why are you keeping calling my cane a her!”

“Cause she has filly bits, silly willy!” Pinkie Pie smiled. “I like her, she sure loves smiling a lot!”

“It’s stuck like that since it was crafted that way before Discord turned it into well this,” Twilight said, waving toward Snuggles.

Pinkie Pie’s ears drooped to her head. “Aww, it must hurt or maybe she’s like me!”

Twilight turned to the smiling mare. How could something alive and walking, feel nothing? Twilight shook those thoughts out of her head and focused on the party pony. “Pinkie, I’m actually here for—”

“Let’s play a game!” Pinkie Pie suggested, revealing a small box she had in her mane. “My grandma and I used to play it all the time.”

“Pinkie Pie, maybe later. Right now I need you to—”

“Ask me what it’s called!”

Twilight rubbed her face down, holding back a scream. “Pinkie Pie, please—”

“Ask me what the game is called!” Pinkie Pie asked, leaning so close to Twilight’s face she could see her noses flaring.

“Ugh, what is it called!”

Pinkie Pie smiled and returned to her spot. “It’s called Candyland.” She opened the box and pulled out the materials then placed them on the table. “You pick a card and move with the game piece you have until you reach the end.”

Twilight and Pinkie Pie looked at each other then at the box.

Twilight took the piece that looked like a gingerbread stallion. “Pinkie Pie, I need you to host a party for Snuggles somewhere to get everypony attention." She looked up at the clock before turning back to Pinkie Pie. "I have to leave soon and Snuggles is really crushing my sides here." She chuckled nervously. “I can’t feel my half my side.”

Pinkie Pie smiled as she took out the last few pieces. “Sure thing, Twilight!” Twilight nearly jump up as Pinkie slammed it onto the board, grinning cockily as she locked eyes with her opponents. “Let’s play.”

Twilight sighed and reached for the piece. To her surprise, she couldn’t believe what she was seeing, but in her eyes, Snuggles reached for a piece, grabbed it tightly and put it down on the board as if she wanted to play. Do this cane have a mind of it’s own? Feelings? Desires?

 Twilight needed to see Discord and ask him about what he had done. For now, Twilight had to endure this insanity and join the two mares in the game.