Pinkie Pie Teaches Grammar

by Galaxy Knight

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Human, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3298

When Twilight's students just can't get the hang of proper grammar, her wife decides to help her...Pinkie Pie style!

In today's world filled with spell checks and auto corrects, some people don't slow down and take time to check over their writing. Twilight believes this is most true with her students because their grammar is absolutely horrible and she doesn't quite know what to do about it. But Pinkie does, and she doesn't care how silly or out of control she has to get, she will help Twilight!

AN: Just to be clear, these are full on humans, not like EQG humans.

Published 2014-08-21 00:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-21 00:40:04 UTC

Learning...Pinkie Pie style!

It was Friday night, normally a day of relief for most adults and children alike. Friday nights were usually spent hanging with friends, going out to have fun, and making stupid decisions.

However, seated in her little home, Twilight Sparkle was doing none of these things. One of the perks of being a teacher is that since school is only open five days a week you had the weekends to yourself; although sometimes she had a massive workload and had to spend the weekend grading tests and papers, this was one of those weekends.

Her students had just finished writing a 4 page essay about a book they just finished and it was Twilight’s job to grade them…all 125 of them. Now this wouldn’t be so bad, there were other teachers that had more students than she did, if it wasn’t for the fact that her students had absolutely horrible grammar. There was at least one mistake on every line and it made grading their papers very tedious. But she knew all she had to do was focus with peace and quiet and…

“Twilight! I’m home!”

And she was interrupted by her wife walking through the door and slamming rather loudly. She happily bounced into Twilight’s study and stood in the middle of the doorway wearing her pink miniskirt and t-shirt with three balloons on them, and her pink sneakers, perky as ever.

“Hi Twily. How ya doin?”

Twilight turned around to face Pinkie. “Not bad, how was your day?” Twilight took off her reading glasses and massaged the bridge of her nose with her fingers.

Pinkie took notice of this. “Uh oh, what’s wrong?” She asked.

Twilight was confused. “What do you mean?”

Pinkie moved closer to Twilight. “I know that when you take off your glasses and massage your nose it means that you’re frustrated with something.”

Twilight chuckled. “Is that one of the tells you use to figure out how I’m feeling?”

Pinkie shook her head. “Nope.” She gave Twilight a hug. “Just one of your cute little quirks I like.”

Twilight smiled, returning the hug. “Thanks Pinkie.”

Pinkie pulled back from the hug and sat down in another chair in Twilight’s study. “Now, why don’t you tell mama Pinkie what’s got you so stressed?”

Twilight looked back down at her papers. “It’s just…ugh, I’m having a hard time grading all these papers and I have to get them all done by Monday.”

Pinkie looked at Twilight and all her paper work despondently. “Ooh, that does sound very not fun. But you know what would make you feel better?” Pinkie reached into her pocket to grab something and raised her clenched fist in the air. “A-“

“Please don’t say a party.”

Pinkie looked at Twilight disappointed, opening her hand and releasing the glitter and confetti she was holding that floated slowly to the ground.

“Aw, come on! I’m organizing a ‘Happy 25th birthday’ party for Silver Quill tonight and I know it’s gonna be a blast. We could go out, have some fun-” Pinkie started tracing her fingers up her shoulders. “You could wear that little yellow sundress of yours I love so much.”

Though Twilight appreciated the gesture, and her motions, Twilight swatted Pinkies fingers off her shoulder. “Pinkie please, I need to finish this work.”

“But that’ll take forever!” She whined.

“No it won’t, and once I’m done with it we can have all the fun you want.”

“But I wanna have fun now!”

“I’m sorry Pinkie; maybe you should just have fun by yourself.”

“But having fun isn’t as fun without you.”

“Trust me, I’m sure you’ll have just as much as the party without me as you would with me.”

Pinkie had a confused look. “Wait, you’re talking about the party?”

“Yeah, wasn’t that what you meant when you said ‘having fun’?”

Pinkie looked to the side and blushed a little. “Y-yeah, of course that’s what I meant. Heh heh.”

Twilight rolled her eyes at Pinkies antics. “Look Pinkie, I need to get this work done, end of story.”

“Fine.” Pinkie sulked her shoulders and began to walk away, then her eyes went wide as she had a new idea. "Oh wait, I know what to do.”

Twilight sighed. “What?”

“I could help you grade these papers, I’m sure it’ll go much faster with two people than it would with just one.”

“I’d like you to help me Pinkie, I really would, but I don’t think you’d be able to realize where the problems are and what needs fixing.”

Pinkie pshawed. “Aw c’mon, it can’t be that difficult. Here, let me take a crack at it.”

Pinkie picked up one of the papers on the table and read one of the sentences aloud: “The story of this story is about a guy named Wallace and his girlfriend and they go on an adventure and its rally cool.”

Pinkie blinked a bit after reading the paper, shocked by how…bad it sounded. “Um, I’m no grammarian but isn’t the word its supposed to have the little thingy over it?”

“An apostrophe, yes.”

“And these are your students?”

“Yes.”

“Your sixth grade students.”

“…yes.”

“Wow… was it this bad when we were kids?”

Twilight sighed. “I don’t think so. Back when we were kids there wasn’t as much technology as there is now. Kids rely on their auto correct and spell check on the internet to fix all of their mistakes, not bothering to check it themselves and right now they’re paying for it.”

Pinkie looked at Twilight with sad eyes, she hated it when she was upset for frustrated. It was her job to make everyone happy, and that goes double for Twilight

“I wish I could help you with this Twilight, but I don’t know a lot about grammar, all I know is that it doesn’t…sound right.”

Twilight put her hand on Pinkies arm to get her attention. “We all have our specialties Pinkie; I’m a thinker and a planner with a lot of knowledge, you’re a party planner and baker who makes everyone happy wherever she goes.”

Pinkie smiled; Twilight’s words always made her feel better even if it was just a little bit. Then Pinkie had an idea.

“Speaking of baking, how about this? I’ll make us both a nice dinner and that’ll be a nice distraction from all this silly paper marking.”

“Pinkie, you’ve been baking all day, I couldn’t ask you to-”

Pinkie stuck her index finger up on her mouth, signaling Twilight to be quiet. “No buts missy. If I can’t help you with these papers then making you a tasty dinner is the least I can do.”

Twilight’s expression softened. “Thanks Pinkie.”

Pinkie leaned down and kissed the top of Twilights head. “You’re welcome my little bookworm.”

Twilight turned around and got back to her work while Pinkie strode off towards the kitchen.

“I still wish I could be more help to Twilight, but I just can’t do anything that would help her?”

As Pinkie rummaged through their cabinets looking for ingredients she was struck with a brilliant idea.

“Or can I?”

The following Monday…

Twilight sat at her desk, patiently waiting for her class to enter the room. Thankfully, Pinkie had left her alone for the majority of the weekend so she was able to buckle down and get all the grading done for the papers

Soon enough her door opened up and a line of students entered her room. What was surprising however was at the end of that line was Principal Celestia, just the sight of her made Twilight apprehensive and nervous.

It wasn’t because Twilight was afraid of her though, Celestia was a very nice woman and really appreciated the ability Twilight had for teaching and all the work she put into what she did, what Twilight was most worried about was her approval. Twilight was still fairly new here and thought that if she didn’t do well she would be replaced; some might say it was a nervous tick from her high school and college days, always putting in 110% to make her parents and her teachers happy even if it drove her a bit crazy at times.

As soon as Twilight noticed Celestia walk through the door she jumped up from her desk and walked over to greet her.

“Principle Celestia, may I ask why you’re here?” Twilight said.

“I’m just doing my normal classroom observations. I’ll just be sitting in the back of the classroom, please continue your lessons as normal.”

Twilight smiled and nodded at Celestia, confident that she could make it through the lesson. Sure she was giving pack papers with quite a few negative comments on them, but as long as she used constructive criticism and showed them where they can improve there would be no problems.

Twilight moved to the front of the room to address her class. “Good morning class.” She said in a sweet tone.

“Good morning.” They all replied.

“Now, I’ve graded the papers that you handed in on Friday. They were good, but there is need of improvement, so when I call your name I want you to come up and we’ll talk about what you could do to improve it.”

Twilight took a seat at her desk and was about to begin handing out the papers but there was a sudden noise coming from the hallway, it sounded like drums and symbols mixed in with a bit of cowbell. No one was sure where these sounds could be coming from until the door burst open to reveal…Pinkie Pie. But it wasn’t just Pinkie Pie, she also had an assortment of various instruments strewn all around her body and she seemed to be playing them all together with incredible dexterity and grace. She then proceeded to play a song, but not just any song; this was a song in the spirit of Pinkie.

Twilight could only sit there in awe and watch as Pinkie scrambled between playing the instruments, writing on her chalk board with incredible speed and detail, and singing a song that she had never heard of. This went on for about two minutes until Pinkie erased everything and turned around to face the class, she was bent over and breathing heavily.

“Sorry, just…just give me a minute…that’s harder than it looks.” Once she got her breath back she stood up and cleared her throat. “Now, if you listened to the song I just sang you, you probably heard a lot of stupid grammar mistakes that people make. If you don’t want to make these same mistakes you should listen to Mrs. Sparkle and ask her for advice on how you can improve. Alright?”

The entire classroom nodded simultaneously.

Pinkie flashed a huge grin. “Great! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get all these instruments back to the rental place. You would not believe how hard it is to get instruments at 10:30 on a Monday.”

Pinkie proceeded to bounce out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Everyone was still enthralled by what just happened, but Celestia had a different look on her face. She looked…confused? Upset? Twilight couldn’t exactly make it out.

“Twilight, may I see you in the hallway for a moment?” She said.

Angry, she was probably angry. Celestia stood up and walked outside; Twilight hesitantly followed her outside and quietly closed the door behind her.

“Principal Celestia, can I just start by saying how sorry I am? I know that that was disruptive and unplanned but please don’t-“

Twilight noticed that Celestia was trying her hardest to hold back a laugh. When Twilight had stopped talking Celestia began to chuckle.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hold that back any longer.”

Twilight was surprised. “You… you aren’t mad?”

“Twilight, in all of my years of working at this school I have never seen a performance that was as entertaining and informative as that one while still keeping children’s attention.”

Twilight smiled. “It was a pretty great performance.”

“I am curious though, who was that performer?”

Twilight put her hand behind her head nervously “Um actually, that was my wife.”

Celestia seemed a bit surprised. “Oh, I didn’t know you were married. Good for you.”

Twilight smiled back. “Thank you. Pinkie likes to be helpful; she just has an… interesting way of doing it.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be surprised if something like that got these kids to shape up a little bit. Just hearing it made me feel like improving my grammar.”

“Yeah, she has that effect on people too.”

Celestia wrote down a quick note on her clipboard. “Well I think I’ve got everything I need, have a great day Mrs. Sparkle.”

“You to Ms. Celestia.”

Celestia nodded and walked down the hallway towards another classroom while Twilight walked back into her room with new found energy and optimism for the rest of her day.

Later…

Pinkie unlocked the door to the house slowly and carefully, not wanting to disturb or be caught by Twilight. Unfortunately, she had no such luck since Twilight was sitting in their living room with her arms crossed and legs crossed staring at the doorway with a disappointed glare. Seeing this made Pinkie jump.

“Oh, uh…hey…Twilight. Um, how long have you been siting there?”

“Never mind that.” Twilight got up and walked towards Pinkie. “I’ve got something to talk to you about.”

Pinkie kept nervously grinning as Twilight was only a few inches from her face now, giving her that look she always gave when she was upset with Pinkie or she had done something wrong.

“So…did you like my surprise?” Pinkie asked, trying to break the tension.

“Pinkie, while I normally appreciate your spontaneous gestures this one was disruptive, loud, derailing, slightly embarrassing and…”

Pinkie looked really sad and nervous until Twilight wrapped her in a great big bear hug.

“…it was the best thing you possibly could have done for me.”

Pinkie welcomed Twilight’s embrace and returned it. “Did you like it?”

“Are you kidding? I liked it, the kids loved it, and even the principal loved it! How did you make up such a great and catchy song in two days?”

Pinkie put a finger to her lip and made a face of heavy thought. “Well…when I was in high school I had this friend named Cheese Sandwich and he was really into writing comical songs and I liked helping him and after a while the skill just kinda rubbed off on me.”

“Is that what you were doing all weekend?” Twilight asked.

Pinkie nodded. “Yep. While you were working I was using once of your English textbooks to look up words and problems that I could put in my song, and used my good old Pinkie power for the rest.”

“And the instruments?”

“I have a guy for that.”

“You have an instruments guy?”

Pinkie scoffed. “Pfft, duh. Where do you think I get my party supplies from? I have a balloons guy, a streamers guy, a confetti guy, a punch guy…”

“I think I get the point Pinkie.”

“…my suit guy, my shoe guy, my ticket guy, my club guy, my guy guy, who oddly enough is named Guy and…”

“Pinkie!” Twilight screamed, trying to get Pinkie out her weird tangents. “I get it; you have a lot of guys.”

“Yep, lots of guys.” Pinkie moved her hand to brush a little bit of hair out of Twilight’s face. “But I only have one girl, cause that’s all I need.”

Twilight smiled, Pinkie always made her feel special. While Twilight was in this good mode Pinkie took the opportunity and leaned in for a kiss. Pinkie took her time, contrary to her normal behavior, and leaned in slowly, gently placing her lips on Twilight’s. Twilight opened up her mouth, returning the kiss and her affections; Pinkie was smiling and she could feel it, making the moment all the more sweet.

Before Twilight got too immersed in the moment, she pulled their mouths apart. “Sorry Pinkie, not right now.”

“But…” Pinkie began to interject.

“Look, the kids have a test at the end of the week. If I see that their skills went up because of your song I’ll make sure to give you all the attention you want.”

The sound of that excited Pinkie. “Just you and me?”

“Just you and me, doing whatever you want.”

Pinkie squealed in excitement, she was gonna have so much fun with Twilight. Pinkie’s moment of cheer was interrupted when her stomach began to growl as loud as a guard dog.

Pinkie giggled a bit. “Sorry, I’m hungry.”

Twilight stomach grumbled as well. “Me too. I’m thinking pizza tonight.”

“…With stuffed crust?”

“Pinkie, I don’t really see the point of…”

“Stuffed crust Twilight! You can eat it in reverse!”

Twilight smiled at her. “Okay Pinkie, we’ll get stuffed crust.”

Pinkie pumped her fist. “Yes!”

And so Twilight and Pinkie enjoyed their pizza together, having fun as they always have together.

Friday…

Twilight had to admit; despite Pinkie’s methods she always got results. She was sitting at her desk at home looking at the results of her students tests and she saw a massive improvement in their skills since the beginning of the week, they must have been really inspired by Pinkie to do better work.

Pinkie walked into her study and leaned in the doorway, watching Twilight work. Once Twilight was aware of her presence she turned around to face Pinkie.

“I have to admit Pinkie, I knew you could be influential but this absolutely fantastic. All of these grades have gone up ten points at least.”

“That’s great, but it isn’t me that made their skills better.”

She moved over to Twilight and put her hand on her shoulder. “It’s because they have a great teacher.”

“Aw Pinkie, that’s really nice of-mph!”

Before Twilight could finish her thought Pinkie had leaned down and pulled her into a lip lock. Pinkie then began to pull up and Twilight followed her, not wanting to break the kiss. Now they were both standing up and locked in a passionate embrace, but Twilight was the first to pull away for breath.

“Pinkie, what are-“

“You said that if your students did better by the end of the week you would give me all the attention I want. And right now I would like your attention…” Pinkie grabbed Twilight’s shirt to make her point “…desperately.”

Twilight picked up on her signals, they weren’t exactly subtle.

“Well, I did promise you.” She said, changing her tone to be slightly more sultry. “And I do always keep my promises.”

“That’s right.” Pinkie took her hand and began leading her through the house.

“Where are we going?” Twilight asked, she already knew but she liked playing along.

“You’ve passed your English class Ms. Sparkle, now it’s time for your physical education.” Pinkie said in a fake serious tone.

“I think you’ll be pleased with my performance.” She said.

“I’ll be sure to get plenty of A’s out of you.” Pinkie replied.

And so Twilight and Pinkie at fun together for the rest of the day. Lots and lots of fun.

Author's Note

Subtlety? What is that?

Anyways, hope you all enjoy this little thing that took over my brain and wouldn't let me work on anything else. Will this become a flushed out story later on in my career? ...maybe.

Oh, and I know I don't have to do this but I really drew inspiration from "Dismissed" by Harmony Charmer and I wanted to acknowledge it so that the author doesn't think i'm plagiarizing and so you can check that out in all its magnificence.

Also I don't own Word Crimes by Weird Al Yankovic or MLP.