I'd forgotten how it felt to be in front of her.

Celestia hadn't aged a day. She had the serene face of a woman who'd spent her entire life in her thirties, too assured of her looks to allow time to change her; not exactly beautiful, but with a radiance that could never be called plain. She was effortlessly imposing, but her stance was gentle, unchallenging. In my head I'd scaled her down as I'd grown taller, cutting her away piece by piece until I could finally look her in the eyes... but no, she was still fucking enormous, towering over me in the narrow hallway like I was fourteen all over again. She even looked less tired than when I'd seen her last, no bags under her eyes and not a hair out of place. She was gorgeous. Inspiring. Perfect.

And she was smiling at me.

This bitch. This goddamn fucking bitch who'd looked down on me, who'd turned her back on me. This cunt who'd replaced me with whiny little brats who would never measure up to her. This stupid old woman who was the queen of pretending nothing was wrong, who I hated myself for ever looking up to. And here she was. Just smiling. Like nothing had ever happened.

"I thought I might find you here." She approached me with casual grace, leaned down and still wasn't at eye level with me. Her clothes were less formal than any I'd ever seen her in, offset by a broad bag which, like mine, didn't match the rest of her. "I'd hoped that I might speak to you in private," she said, hushing her voice. "Is that alright?"

I couldn't answer. I shouldn't have needed to answer. But before I could begin to find the words to snarl back at her, faintly, automatically, I nodded.

Her smile wavered. I quickly recalibrated myself for a walk to the office, but Celestia just settled her feet and glanced behind her. There was no one there, and I knew that she already knew that, but I understood the motion. This conversation wasn't going to happen with a desk between us. "I've just finished a talk with Twilight," she started.

Hearing that name through her lips made my whole body tense. "Is she all right?" I blurted - a response I'd learned to automate.

"Better than alright." That smile, that gentle glance away, twisted me up even further. "Not that she'll admit it. She's telling anyone who'll listen how much she's going to miss us all when she's gone. But when she thinks no one's looking, she can hardly contain herself. She couldn't be happier to be going home."

"I'm glad for her," I shot back, rapid-fire. My voice shook.

"No, Sunset. That's what I wanted to talk to you about." She loomed over me even further. "I confess that I still don't know all the details. But I want to make sure that I understand. From what Twilight's told me, if this new theory is correct... if this portal does open... then it can only ever be opened once. And once it closes, it can never be used again."

I paused. "M-maybe." I avoided her gaze by looking at the ground, and took a second to settle myself. I was in Sunset's clothes. Nothing I said now really mattered. "There's no way to know for sure. All we know is that the portal should reopen, but anything after that is a mystery. A-at least, that's what Twilight told me," I quickly added. She wanted to steal the credit for this? Fuck her. She could have it. "Maybe someday, if everything goes right, we could create the conditions to open the portal a second time. Or maybe Twilight could create a new one from her side. But until we have more data, and with what we know about how the process works, it would be... safest to assume... that this will only work once."

"I see." When I glanced up, I caught her averting her gaze from me as well. "I've done my best to speak to all of your friends about Twilight's departure," she said. "They've told me a lot of stories. About how much she means to them, and how much they'll miss her, and how they'll cope after she's gone. You have a truly amazing set of friends." I shrugged this off, letting it roll over me. "But no matter who I asked, there's one thing that they didn't say. Sunset..." With a shock that I felt through my whole body, Celestia reached out and lifted my chin, making me look into her eyes. "They didn't say anything about you going with her."

Celestia was touching me. Her flawless alabaster skin was grazing mine, her thumb and perfectly manicured nail resting just below my lip. I yearned to bite at her, fighting back twin furies: How dare she touch me, like she owned me; how dare Sunset allow herself to be touched. And yet, even as a scream churned in my stomach, all went calm.

I released a breath, slowly, slowly. The storm inside me died along with it, and a calm, cold burning took its place. My spine straightened, then curved back into place, invisibly, precisely. I let weakness fall across my skin, even as my body felt like steel. And even though my lips curled down with just the right amount of quiver, on the inside I was drawing them back into a harsh, knowing grin. Because my disguise was working. It was fucking working. And that meant that now, after all these years...

It was finally my chance to hurt this bitch.

"I'm..." I trembled and I let my voice catch, as if the words were difficult to say. "I'm leaving," I told her. "But I'm not going with Twilight."

"Oh?" Somehow, I couldn't gauge her level of surprise. "Then where?"

Inwardly, and even a little outwardly, I bared my teeth and prepared to spit venom. "That's-"

"I know, I know." Suddenly she drew back, smiling sadly to herself. "That's none of my business."

I paused. That was not how that was supposed to go.

"Will it be... soon?" she asked. "Is this farewell party for you as well?"

I just stared. I had no instincts telling me what to do in this situation. "I... I haven't told my friends about my decision yet," I answered, deciding to play Sunset a little longer. "They think I'm still making up my mind. But it'll be soon. Within the next few days. Maybe even earlier. As soon as I can."

"I see." She glanced back again, almost hesitantly - when did Celestia ever hesitate? "Is it safe for you to travel? After what happened this weekend..."

"That's why I need to go," I cut her off. "This town isn't safe for me any more."

"I see."

We stood there, she and I, each gathering our thoughts. I swallowed silently and listened hard, clutching a verbal knife behind my back. It gave me a cold pleasure knowing that the real Sunset was bound and crying just one room away; it would almost be worth raising my voice just to rub this conversation in, trusting that her strangled cries wouldn't penetrate the walls. I looked Celestia up and down, tallying my disguise over and over, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

"Is there anything I could have done," she said quietly, "that would have made you feel safe here?"

"No," I answered firmly before I'd even had time to contemplate it. "This was never about you."

"Is that the truth, Sunset?"

"Yes."

"Because if there's anyone who's been hurting you-"

"Would you lay off?" I struck. "You're not my goddamned mother!"

Just for a moment, Celestia flinched, and I saw that my words had struck home. But out of her clouded face, a tight-lipped smile shone forth. "That's right," she said, as though to herself. "I'm not."

She took a step to the side, keeping her gaze low, letting her fingers trace along the wall of lockers. "This should be a happy day," she said. "I think the same thing every year. My job... my purpose," she clarified, brushing the sun-shaped brooch on her lapel, "is to help my students make their way in this world. That means teaching myself how to let go. If I've done my job right, the path in front of them will be so bright that they won't ever stop to look back. No matter how much I wish to hold their hands the whole way, the earlier I can allow them to walk on their own, the bigger and better things they will go on to. It's how things have always been, and I wouldn't have it any other way." Then she looked to me. "But you, Sunset..."

I kept my distance as she moved closer. "You have tried to leave my side before," she said. "For all my lessons, you have tried to throw your life away time and time again, only letting miracles pull you back. I've watched you get hurt so many different ways. And for the longest time, all I have done is watch. I kept my distance and let your life play out, no matter how much it hurt. You don't know how many sleepless nights..." She caught a crack in her composure and covered her mouth with her hand, sinking against the lockers. When she spoke again, her tone finally held the tiredness that I remembered from her. "I always wanted to believe as much as you did that you were ready to face the world. Should I have held you back, Sunset?" she asked. "Knowing what you know now, would you have been happier if I had forced you to stay by my side until I felt you were ready?"

Even though I knew it wasn't me that she was asking, I still felt myself flush with fury at the suggestion. "I don't need your approval," I snapped.

"...That's right. You realized that faster than any student I've ever had." Just like that, the smile was back, the downward grin of recollection. "For years, I thought... well. In secret, I entertained the notion that you had failed to listen to me. After all that you tried to do, I told myself that it all could have been prevented if you had just been a better student. And perhaps, to an extent, that's the truth." She sighed. "But that's an easy judgment for me to make. And seeing how you've grown, and how much you've learned from the world outside this school, maybe it's time to finally admit that... I failed to teach you."

Something snapped. "Teach me?" I burst out. "When did you ever try to teach me?"

I breathed in, almost steadying myself over the subtle, painful shock on her face. "All you ever did was tell me not to do things," I went on. "You'd just nag, nag, nag me about my attitude, then ignore me when I did anything that mattered. You stonewalled every request I made without explanation. The only advice you had for me was to tell me that I needed to make friends - and when I did, you told me I was doing it wrong." I narrowed my eyes. "And sure, I figured it out eventually. I got over myself. I stopped being so much of a monster. But it took me sticking my neck out and getting hurt, something you wouldn't even let me do. As long as I was here, you just dangled those lessons over my head, calling me a problem child when I didn't understand, never even lifting a finger to point me in the right direction. And all along, all I had to do was ask literally anyone else." In out, in out; I wasn't even listening to my breathing any more. "Was that your plan?" I asked, looking down. "To make me hate you?"

I couldn't look at her. From the waist down I saw her straighten up and take a step toward me. I didn't move away, but my fists reflexively clenched. "The whole reason I came here was because I wanted you to be my teacher," I said. "I would have listened to you, if you'd just given me that."

"You fucking hag," died on my lips. Sunset had the same anger in her. I'd seen it. But she wouldn't have said that.

Dead quiet. Celestia was close to me and over me, her aura enveloping me, like standing under direct sunlight. The beams grew stronger as she looked down on me. "I suppose that I deserve some of that," she said.

We shared another moment of silent contemplation. "I had another student, once," she started. "One not so very different from you."

"I don't care," I interrupted. "It's too late to start telling me stories now. You can't change what you did, and I don't want to hear your excuses."

"Then let me talk about you." Her voice turned hard. "You know as well as I what was in your heart when we first met. I did all that I could to temper that pain in you, or at least redirect it. Even after ignoring my guidance, you have still done terrible things, Sunset - things which I see you still blame me for. So do not presume to lecture me about making excuses." I flinched back the slightest inch. "I've seen what lies down the path you sought. If I had given in to your desires and taught you what you wished, you would have killed yourself and many others in a gamble for revenge."

I snorted. "And you thought that would stop me? Well, look how that turned ou-"

"Silence." Unbidden, my jaw snapped shut. "Yes, time has proven that life alone was a teacher enough. But there is so much about the world that you do not yet understand, and I wish that I could have shown it to you. Ancient secrets, forbidden texts, riddles that no student who came after you could have hoped to solve. But as your teacher, you would never respect me. If I was to earn your trust, and you mine, I had to be something more to you. Your guide. Your mentor. Your..." She sighed, and spoke quietly. "Your friend."

"Save it," I spat. "I've read your books. I know exactly what you wanted to be to me. You never had any intention of teaching anyone. You just liked hiding in your office, pretending to be someone you could never be. Until you roped me into your sick little fantasy. And y-you know what?" I gulped. "You were a shitty mom."

Celestia stiffened. Automatically, my legs tensed. My lips closed and locked with grim finality. She clutched at her bag tightly, just like I was clutching at mine. Then, in a motion that felt like the horizon itself was shifting, she lowered herself onto one knee. Her chin and mouth came into my field of view, harshly set. "Sunset," she said.

I said nothing.

"Sunset," she repeated. "Will you look at me?"

Her hand came toward my face. I flinched, but she touched me gently, brushing my hair away from my eyes. Her long fingers trailed around my head, tracing along my ear as her palm cupped my cheek. And that was the moment when I realized: Celestia smelled old. Not the dust-and-peaches scent that grandmothers can fill a room with, but something cracked and porous, like stone so weathered that any inscription has long since been stripped away. Her wrist was canyoned with wrinkles, so well-disguised that they'd been invisible until they were inches away. But there was still a warmth that resonated though her, as soft and undying as the sun. And unable to stop myself, I did what the harshest blows had failed to draw from me and yielded to her touch, raising my head to stare her face-to-face.

There were tears in her eyes. Actual, honest-to-god tears. But the rest of her was as radiant and beautiful as ever, and she still had that same, unreadable tight-lipped smile as always. "Before you go," she said, "there's something that I wanted to give you."

Retreating just a little, she reached down and unclasped her bag. What she took out...

It looked cheap. I knew it wasn't. It straddled the line between boring and overdesigned, probably having seemed like a better idea on paper. It looked flimsy, but from the way Celestia held it, it was surprisingly heavy. A six-pointed star dominated it, strangely familiar. It didn't look anything like the designs I'd seen before, but I recognized it right away.

"After that night," Celestia said fondly, "we ordered another made, to complete the set. It's sat unused in my office this whole time. I thought about bringing it back in another eight years, once all of this has passed into legend. But it was wrong of me to cling to the past. And wherever it is that your journey is taking you, they will need a princess there, too."

Princess. Not just the crown, but what it represented. Not just the best in the school, but a leader, the one who points the way forward, the one who everyone should aspire to be. Sure, maybe it was just a pointless popularity contest, some misguided way to make the pretty girls think that people loved them for something other than their looks. That hadn't mattered. I'd wanted this so badly when I'd first arrived.

I became conscious of my hands shaking. I let them. That was what Sunset would be doing now, letting herself get excited like a child.

Then Celestia moved again. She raised the crown she held, and I bowed my head again and felt the hard press of metal, like copper jaws clamping on my skull, and a tug as my hair was crushed down by the weight. And when she moved away, the pressure stayed. I blinked, shaking, scarcely daring to move. It fit perfectly.

"Consider this your real graduation," she said, taking my hand. "No, your path is not the one I would have chosen for you, but that does not mean that you were wrong to take it. And this time, I will not let my misgivings stand in your way. You may not want or need my approval, but I want you to know that you have it, every step of the way. I believe in you. I trust you. And whatever you choose to do in the future, I know that it will allow you to become the guiding star you've always wished to be."

Too little, too late, I thought. But the words were faint, at the back of my mind. "Th-thank you," I instead mumbled on automatic, letting my copy's voice come out of my mouth.

"Sunset." She embraced me, her enormous body completely overwhelming mine, submerging me completely in her aura of sun and stone. "I'm so proud of you."

She was warm. So deeply, penetratingly warm, and her grip was like iron. My gut tightened in disgust; my teeth ached to bite her. But Sunset made me hug her back. Sunset, not me. I leaned into her in just the way my fake would, sick at how easy it was to emulate her, clinging to the woman who ruined my life like I never wanted to let her go. The weight of the crown drove my head against her chest, filling my mind with softness, sinking me into her. Her adoration was painful in its intensity. I drowned in it, all while tightly coiled against it, knowing that she would never say these things to me if she knew the truth.

She was the one who let me go first, having to grasp my shoulders to pry me away from her. "This isn't goodbye," she said to me. "I'll still be watching, even if it's only from far away. And even if the home you choose leads you into a dark place, I don't want you to ever be afraid to revisit the place where you started. Okay?"

"Okay," Sunset said though me, desperately nodding my head. "I'll be back. I promise."

"I'm glad." With one last squeeze of my shoulder, she let me go and stood up, leaving a void in her wake. "Farewell, Sunset. My most treasured student."

She backed up a step, giving me a strange half-smile, then turned and walked away. I twisted and sniffed angrily, wiping one of Sunset's tears out of my calm eyes. When I looked back, she was gone.

It was a minute before I could convince my legs to move. Once I could walk I drifted downstairs like a ghost, feeling sensation only slowly return to me. The weight of the crown still lay heavy on me, dragging me back to earth. Once I was certain that I was out of earshot and the sounds of the party grew near, I allowed my face to contort out of its mask and into a familiar scowl. My arms clenched and twitched, my back tense. I couldn't shake a certain giddiness that I couldn't place the source of, as well as a thin sheen of nausea. I should have come back here years ago if my fake had been managing her life so poorly as to deserve a condescending conversation like that. The next time we were alone, I was going to make her suffer for forcing me to go through that.

I shoved the crown into a random locker in the school's unused hallway. Maybe it would get discovered next year, maybe it wouldn't. It made no difference to me. Automatically, my eyes flicked over the locker number as I slammed it shut, committing it to memory. I clenched my eyes shut and whirled away. I didn't care. It was just a stupid trinket and I wasn't coming back for it.

The party, when I arrived, was about as advertised. Tables and decorations filled the gym in a familiar sparkly style, but fewer people hovered around them, just a couple dozen in the wide space. The lights were dimmed as if for dancing, but Pinkie Pie was still helping a girl in goggles set up a sound booth near the wall, and another bunch of guests strolled in right after I did. Plenty of time before the party started kicking into gear. I saw the vice-nightmare lurking near the stage and quickly averted my eyes, trying to look natural. I couldn't let distractions ruin this for me now.

My first task was to find the person wearing the dress that matched my purse. This wasn't hard, since Rarity was waiting for me near the doors. I approached her and handed it back, keeping my head down. "Thanks," I muttered.

"Don't mention it." She gave me a quick, knowing smile, confirming to me that what Sunset had asked to borrow hadn't been makeup at all. Coco Pommel peeked out from behind her shoulder, getting what she thought was her first good look at my copy. The now unhidden fear and curiosity in her eyes was a good look for her, and if the circumstances had been different then I might have stuck around to play with her awhile. Sadly, I just wasn't in the mood.

Another quick scan of the room located two sources of purple. I took one step towards the furthest one, then looked down, reevaluated myself, and made a beeline for the other. Twilight and Shining Armour were standing near the drinks table, slightly away from everyone else. He had his arm around her and she was still clinging to him like it was the first moment they'd reunited, leeching as much of his touch as she could. If I hadn't known better, I could have mistaken them for lovers. "It just seems like an odd choice," he was saying as I crept up on them. "Why not Crystal Prep? Sure, it's a commute, but they've got the best academic standards in the whole region."

"They were my first choice," Twilight answered. "But in the end, I just... couldn't. Even the thought of seeing her once a year at the Games was too much."

I silently interrupted by slipping around Shining Armour's other side and resting my face on his chest. My fingers rapidly tapped out a code across his back, ending with a quick, subtle squeeze of his muscles. He understood instantly and put his arm around me. I nestled into him, exhaling some of Celestia's perfume onto him. His solid frame scrubbed her warmth from my mind. The fact that I could do this, that I could use this powerful man in any way that I chose, excited and soothed me just as much as the act itself. An dancing fire started to flare up in its usual place, a more familiar hunger and energy, driving out the light. It was only when I felt like myself again that I finally opened my eyes.

Twilight was giving me an acidic glare, which she slowly and haltingly dialed back to a warning look. I got the message: Sunset might have paid for her transgressions against her, but her brother was still off-limits. I let him go and faked apologetic meekness at her. "Sorry," I mumbled at her. "I... I just really needed that right now." Then, before she could respond, I slipped back under my Shining's arm, planted a quick, invisible kiss on his shoulder, and put a table between myself and them.

"Shining," I heard as I strolled away. "What. The hell?"

"It's not like that," Shining protested. "She's got a complex about being touched, and Shimmer and I thought-"

"By you? After what she did? Was that what your 'meeting' with her was about?"

"Twiley, listen..."

As an argument erupted behind me, I homed in on my real target of the evening. Princess and Flash Sentry were sitting a few rows up on the bleachers, similarly isolated from everyone else. They were being more discreet in their conversation, but judging by their expressions, it was going a lot better than the one across the room. "I love you," Twilight unmistakably said, wrapping her boyfriend's hand in her own.

His response wasn't the same, but something I couldn't make out. Still, they smiled, lost in each other's eyes, and kissed each other tenderly. Too sickeningly sweet for my tastes. I planted myself at the bottom of the bleachers and coughed, drawing their attention to me. "Sunset!" Princess gasped. "Flash, could you... could you give us a minute?"

"Sure," he said. With a last squeeze of her hand, he stood up and loped away along the bench, disappearing down into the growing crowd below. I clambered up and took his place, getting as close as I dared to the ponygirl of my dreams. I folded my hands in front of me, curling over like Sunset did in her presence, refusing to look her in the eye.

"Sunset..." Princess started to launch into something prepared, then stopped and looked me up and down. "Are you okay?" she asked, something much more genuine coming into her voice. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

Fuck Celestia. Why couldn't she let just one thing be simple? "I kind of did," I improvised, working it into my pitch. "I ran into Shimmer again."

Princess gasped. "Oh no. Did she hurt you?"

"...She would say no." I clenched my hands. "She pushed me, she threatened me, she... she told me exactly what she thought of me, and exactly what she wanted to do to me. And none of it was good. Then she just vanished, like all she wanted to do was remind me that she was still there."

"I'm sorry." She looked genuinely remorseful. "She can't have made it far. Applejack's still patrolling the exits. If the rest of us join her, and we spread out before she expects it, we might be able to..."

She trailed off, looking at me. "There's no point," I finished the thought for her. "She knows this school as well as we do. She made sure that I knew it. I don't think we'll be able to find her unless she wants to be found. Besides..." I looked up at her, forcing a weak smile. "I don't want this night to be about her."

Princess analyzed me for a moment, wearing a thoughtful look that she made absolutely no effort to hide. Then she smiled herself and rested her hand over mine. "You're right," she said. "I don't either."

Thinking she was being so fucking clever, Princess massaged my fingers with her own, unable to stop herself from glancing down to look for blemishes. Naturally, I was one step ahead of her. While I'd been waiting I'd trimmed my nails in the bathroom to match Sunset's, and I'd been secretly painting and moisturizing my skin all day. My hands were as soft and clean as a virgin's bedsheets. Once my identity had been examined to her satisfaction, she leaned back into a more comfortable posture and looked me in the eyes. "Have you made up your mind yet?" she asked.

There was a very limited number of things she could have been asking about. "Not yet," I answered. "And that's why I wanted to talk to you. Because... because I'm scared of what will happen when I do."

Princess tightened her grip. "She won't hurt you."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do. We've protected you before. We can do it again. She can't take you," she insisted. "She has no power over you. No matter what she says, she can't make you do anything you don't want to."

"I know. I mean... I think that I know. But..." I looked at my hands. "Does what I want even matter any more?"

I finally allowed myself to look at her. She was moving her lips in faux incomprehension, sorting through her own algorithm of comforting phrases. "Just hear me out," I said. "Shimmer believes that the only reason I'm still here is because you've emotionally bullied me into needing you. It's like half the reason she wants to take me away from here. If I tell her that I want to stay here, she'll flip. She'll say I don't know what's good for me and she'll force me to come with her. Even if she can't do it, she'll put up a fight before she leaves. If that happens, someone could get hurt because of her. Because of me."

"Stopping her isn't your responsibility," Princess said.

"I know. Just listen." I gulped, and proceeded more slowly. "If... and I'm not saying I do... if what I want is to leave this town and go to Manehattan with her... what do you think the others will say to me?"

That got her. Princess subtly clenched her teeth, trying to quickly brew up some of her usual bullshit. "They'll respect your decision," she said. "They'll have to."

"Will they?" I pressed. "You've seen how Shimmer and Applejack act around each other. She broke Fluttershy's heart, and even Rainbow Dash is scared of her. They hate her, just as much as they used to hate me. Maybe enough to try to hurt her if she tries to take me away. And without you around to hold them back..."

"It won't be that way," Princess insisted, but she went a little pale. "We've learned so much since then. We won't make the same mistakes that we made with you."

"I want to believe that. And I'm not trying to be mean. I know they only feel that way because they care about me. It's just..." I sighed. "I keep playing it out, in my head. If I say that I want to stay, Shimmer will say I've been brainwashed by you and she'll fight to take me away. If I say that I want to go, one of you will say that I've been brainwashed by her and you'll fight to keep me here. No matter what I do, that's the fight that's going to settle it. And... if it's what I want, and with everyone supporting me, I know that we'd be able to force Shimmer to leave without hurting anyone. But I can't think of any way that I'd be brave enough to say no to my friends."

The ponygirl mulled this over. "Are you saying... you want to go?" she asked.

"I don't know." I looked down again. "Maybe it would be good for me. Shimmer thinks so. And that means there's a part of me that thinks so too. And... being with her... I don't even know how to describe it." I took my hand away from hers and intertwined it with my own. "It's like... being complete. When I'm close to her, it feels like all the parts of me that I thought I'd lost are back inside me. And even though a lot of those parts are bad, I keep feeling like I need them, like I'm not myself when they're gone. And... if I could just recapture what she has... then maybe I could finally like myself again." I tensed my hands up and wrenched them back apart. "I hate her and I want her and I hate that I can't stop thinking about having her all to myself," I said. "Does that make me... bad?"

From the way Princess flushed, I knew my words were hitting home. "Well... You wouldn't be the first person who uprooted their life and moved across the world for love," she said.

"Ugh." A very real shudder of disgust wormed through me. "Please don't call it that."

"Sorry."

"It's okay." My hands tentatively reached each other again and folded up on my lap. "It's not like it would be forever." I paused, as though thinking about it, and faked a tremble. "I probably won't. Just thinking about what she might do to me..."

"Then don't." Relief echoed in her, and she managed to smile again. "If you're scared of her, then don't go. It's that simple. Just because she makes you feel good doesn't mean she's right for you. I know it's hard, but keeping you safe is more important than your relationship. You don't have to force yourself to stay with someone who frightens you. There's always another way."

"It's easy to say that." I braced myself. "But that's almost exactly the same as what she said about you."

This was my moment. I sat smugly, sunning myself in her flustered heat, tasting pain. "Twilight?" I said hollowly, sapping the strength from my voice. "If you tell me not to go, then I won't."

Princess bit her lip, choosing her answer carefully. "You know what I want to tell you," she stated.

I did know. What I was less certain of was how much of this conversation Princess and Sunset had had already, so I let her take the lead. "Twilight, I can't," I prompted. "And you know why."

"But things have changed," she insisted. "You've changed. You're not the same pony who broke the portal, and I promise you, the ponies back home will see that. They have no reason to be afraid of you. They'll welcome you back like a long-lost sister. And if they won't... I'll make them."

I snorted bitterly. "You really think it'll be that easy? You don't know anything about what's been going on without us. How do you know Celestia hasn't turned me into the new Nightmare Moon after I stole you away?"

"She wouldn't. Celestia loved you. She still does. I know that she'd give anything to see you again."

"Yeah, if she's even still alive."

"Sunset..." Her warmth left me. When I looked, Princess had recoiled from me, her hand over her heart. She fought to control her breath and tensed her fingers one by one, a calming technique that I recognized from long ago. "Don't say things like that," she whispered.

I might have overdone it. "I'm sorry," I said.

"It's okay." She settled back into place, but kept a slight distance. "I'm... I'm scared," she said. "You're right. We don't know what's coming. It's been two years. Two years without Harmony. Anything could have happened since then. And I want to believe that the world I'll be going back to is the same one I remember, but... I don't know. I just don't know. I've had so many nightmares about opening the portal to find that everything I know has been destroyed, and in a few hours, all of them might come true. I'm excited and frightened and... and whatever comes next, I don't want to have to face it alone."

She turned to face me fully, swinging her leg over the bench, and grasped my hands again. "And that's why I'm asking," she said. "Not telling. Asking. As your friend, as your mentor, and as... as someone who wants to spend the rest of her life with you, no matter what that means. Sunset Shimmer..." She shook, smiling at me with tearful eyes. "Please come home."

She meant every word. I took a moment to be genuinely touched on Sunset's behalf, giving her the pause for thought that she deserved. Then I shook my head. "Twilight," I said. "Do you really think I've told you everything about me?"

She hesitated. Across the gym, Pinkie Pie whooped and some upbeat pop music started to play. "What do you mean?" Princess asked.

"Come on, Twilight. I kept what I did to the other you hidden from you for years. Do you really think I was a better person before that?" I looked away, digging through memories. "I've hurt so many people before I came to this world. North Star. Headmaster Nexus. Lemon Hearts. Dawn Dream."

"Who is Dawn Dream?"

"Exactly." Silently, I sighed with relief. That had been a risk, but I had to be sure. "Maybe someday, I'll be brave enough to see all those ponies again. But it's not going to be today. After this weekend, I know more than ever that I'm not ready to face my past again. Not in that world. Not all at once. Not without anywhere to hide."

"But they won't-"

"It's not about them, Twilight. Don't you get it?" I whirled on her. "I hate myself. I hate being reminded that I ever was that person. And if you take me back there, I will die."

"No you won't." Desperation rang in her. "I'll keep you safe. I'll be with you every minute of the day. You won't ever have to be afraid again."

As deliciously tantalizing as that prospect was, I stuck to my own script. Maybe in another lifetime. "You'll have better things to do than weigh yourself down babysitting me. Equestria needs you more than I do."

"It won't be Equestria without you."

"Okay, stop. Just stop." I folded my legs and faced her as well. "Listen. Without you, I wouldn't have made it this far. Not even close. You gave me everything, even though I didn't deserve any of it, and I've learned so much from you. And that's how I know that friendship means more than just hiding in someone else's shadow. If I'm ever going to have the life you want for me, there are things that I need to do for myself." I shifted closer. "Twilight, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. But you're not enough. And I don't want you to spend the rest of your life thinking that you ever had to be."

The music faded. In the hush that followed, Pinkie Pie stood up and asked the crowd if they were ready to party. A wordless cheer erupted around us, making a response impossible even if Princess had one. She just stared, her lip quivering, her heart breaking. I touched her arm and gently tugged her, pulling her close. "I'm going to miss you," I said, trusting that my intent would carry even if the words didn't. "Twilight... there's something I always wanted to..."

And suddenly she was on me, this strange, beautiful, alien girl, clinging to me like no one else ever had. Her face got close to mine and I hushed my breath, closed my eyes - but no, she only kissed my cheek, then nestled hers against it. "I know," she whispered to me. "I wish I'd known years ago. I'm going to miss you more than anyone."

I melted happily in her arms. She was soft, smelling of heat and lavender and perfumed oils, the kind of pampered body that I ached to sink my teeth into. I returned the hug and met no resistance, even when I squeezed her tight enough that it cut our breaths short. "I wish you didn't have to go," I whispered back, entirely truthful.

"I'm sorry." A pulse-pounding dance beat started to play, which might have ruined the moment if I was the other me, but perfectly complimented the thrill I was feeling just then. Either way, it got a faint chuckle out of Princess. "I'll talk to the others," she said. "I can't make promises. Things might get stressful. But whatever choice you make, you won't have to decide on it because you feel like you have to."

I nodded slowly. "And Shimmer?"

"I can't speak for her. But let me ask you something. And I need you to tell me the truth." She took a deep breath. "Do you think that Shimmer is a good person?"

I took a breath as well. This kind of question hadn't been completely unexpected. "I think she thinks she is," I answered.

"I know. But is she?"

Again, well within what I'd prepared myself for. I gave myself a pause long enough to pass for careful thought, fighting back the urge to slip a finger under her skirt. "I think she can be, if she wants to be," I said.

"No. You're not listening." Princess peeled away from me and looked me in the eye. "Yes or no, Sunset. Is Shimmer a good person?"

And I didn't answer.

The answer was yes, obviously. Gaining her trust was the whole point of this exercise. But the way she was looking at me, the grim intent on her face, made me hesitate. I thought about Sunset's fear in the bathroom, her wails of pain in the bedroom, the bitterness and indignity in the rare moments when she found the strength to defy me. There was no chance that she would give me the clear sell that Princess was asking for, and both of us knew it. But calling myself irredeemable to their philosophy was out of the question. If I was going to tell her I was a decent human being, it wasn't going to be with confidence. But what good to me was an answer like that?

Almost too late, I understood. She wasn't asking about me. She was asking about Sunset's past self, the Shimmer that she saw in her nightmares, the immature would-be-conqueror who they naively thought corresponded to me. That version of her was probably the closest Princess could comprehend to evil, but even she had had the potential to become a friend. Was that the answer the ponygirl was looking for? But there was the catch; if Sunset could find it within herself to admit that she had become a good person, she wouldn't have any need for me. Of course, Princess would know that that would be a lie, since Sunset would never call herself good and mean it. Or maybe she had more faith in her friend than that. Yes, no, all the intonations that would imply something in between, I could spin any of them to be the truth depending on how I chose to interpret the question. But what was the answer that would get me what I wanted?

"I..." My voice cracked, which turned out to be the inspiration I needed. Of course, the answer had been staring me in the face the whole time. "I don't know."

"I do." With a disappointing rush of coldness, Princess slid away from me and pulled her leg back over the bench, facing the growing dance floor. "Do you know how I know?" she asked. I shook my head. "Because in a few hours, I'm going to be trusting her with the most important thing in my entire life." She put her head in her hands. "Shimmer has no idea the kind of power she has over me. This machine she's made... it's so simple and awful that I never could have thought of it. Even if we fail, she's going to take everything from me. My life, my destiny, and even the fate of an entire world is in her hands."

Despite everything, she smiled. "And that's how I know that she's good," she said. "Because everything that matters is going to depend on one person's ability to keep her promises and tell the truth. And that's why she has to be. She just has to. Because if she's not, it will spell disaster for all of us, and for everything she cares about."

We waited side by side, taking in the music. "There's somewhere you should be," she said. "I know this isn't your kind of party."

I stood. "Y-yeah," I said. For some reason my voice shook. "Will I see you again, before you go?"

"You know it." She grabbed my wrist as I turned to go. "Just one thing," she said. "I'm going to come back some day. I'll find a way. And when I do, I want there to be a Sunset Shimmer waiting for me. And I want her to be happy. And I want her to be safe." She looked up at me. "Can you promise me that?"

I nodded quickly. "Okay. I promise."

"Pinkie Promise?"

Crap. "Come on, Twilight," I bluffed. "You know the first one lasted a lifetime."

"I guess it did." She let go. "Stay safe."

I walked away. While I'd been distracted, the quiet gathering had turned into a proper party. Shadows made the hasty decorations seem grander, the food appeared to have somehow multiplied, and what the dancers lacked in numbers they made up for in passion. I wondered how many of them knew what they were really celebrating. It really was the best farewell a girl could ask for.

"Oh, and Shimmer?" Princess yelled.

I stopped. People were looking. Noncommittally, as if I hadn't properly heard her, I looked back. "What?" I said.

"Sunset has one scar that you don't," she said. A smug grin soured her innocent face. "Just for future reference. She tore her earlobe while trying to give herself a piercing eight months back. It never completely healed." She stood up. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to try that conversation a second time. With the real Sunset, please."

Icy fury started to uncoil inside me, clawing up my throat and across my shoulders. I just grinned, flashing Princess as many teeth as I could. "Thanks," I barked. With the most controlled, natural motions, I turned and strode away.

People were staring. But they weren't. I didn't care. The music was too loud. I clenched my fingers, just for a second. They wouldn't unclench. Pinkie Pie bounded up to me; I caught her mid-bounce and shoved her to the ground, stepping over her without breaking my stride. Someone shouted. It didn't matter. None of these idiots mattered. I was a ghost in the fucking night.

Unchallenged, I went outside.

The hallway was eerily quiet after the noise in the gym. I steadied myself against the wall of lockers, held my breath, settled and settled and resettled my stance. It doesn't matter, I told myself, booming inside my head as more of an order than a thought. I got what I wanted. I'm right. Princess knows I'm right. She'll do as she's told. There was still Sunset to deal with, of course. Sunset won't breathe one fucking word. I'll make sure she doesn't. I started to calm - not that I needed to, since I was perfectly calm already. The icy serpent in my throat started to fade away. This hasn't changed one thing. Princess saw reason. She won't go back on our deal. Everything is going to be just fine.

One last thought came, unbidden. Celestia touched my-

The echoes from the gym vanished completely as my scream overwhelmed them. Energy exploded out along my body, and I whirled and struck blindly - a locker door caved under my fist. I struggled to breathe, aching like fury was turning me inside-out. I struck again, again as my knuckles bloodied, feeling someone's possessions being crushed by the twisting door, until the stupid locker refused to budge any further. And then I flew.

Familiar halls became shafts that I plummeted down. I ascended stairs without touching them, tearing at my clothes as I went. When the bathroom door opened Sunset's jacket entered it before I did, slamming hard into the wall. The light came on and I took one step and fell hard, losing my balance as I tried to wrench my feet straight out of her boots. On the ground I writhed like an animal until they came loose, desperate to get these clinging parts of her off of me. I barely acknowledged Sunset still bound and gagged as the door slammed behind me, just kept clawing madly at her clothes. Her shirt stretched painfully as I yanked it over my head. Her stupid tiny bra was suffocating me; why hadn't that fucking idiot had it sized properly? This was all her- fucking- all of it- all her-

I ripped free and groaned in primal relief, my skin free to breathe. A quick motion brought me back to my knees, another to my feet. Last to go was the skirt; I crumpled it and hurled it into the sink. Free of her, I twisted on a tap and grabbed a handful of bitter water. Leaden liquid splashed my eyes. Without thinking I scrubbed with bare hands, digging my nails into my skin, shaking out my hair. I kept moving as the water turned scalding, flinging handfuls across my neck and cheeks, burning everywhere Celestia had touched me. And when I reached my ear, I finally came to a halt.

I turned. My arms would not stop trembling. I couldn't silence my lungs, no matter how much I ordered them. But Sunset... Sunset was completely still. Still bound in place staring straight up, her makeup forming tidy riverbanks leading from her eyes, arranged in black silk and the knife I'd kept a fraction of an inch too short. The little bitch didn't dare make a sound as I approached her. Her redness filled my vision.

"We could have died," I growled.

Still nothing.

"If I had been talking to a changeling, and they knew a secret about you that I didn't, then they could have used that to take everything from us," I said. No two words came out at the same pitch. "I trusted you. I trusted you to get one fucking thing right. The one thing that even a fuck-up like you could have accomplished for me. But no. Instead, you're completely fucking useless."

Quick as a snake, I crouched and roughly twisted her ear, making her gasp in pain. Sure enough, there it was: one tiny crease right where Celestia's thumb had landed, a little upside-down heart carved into her body. My body. Something she had no right to hide from me.

But apparently, even Celestia knew.

Rage moved my hand for me, grasping the knife's handle and yanking it free in one swoop. I snarled, forcing Sunset's head back even further, relishing the secure feeling of finally having a weapon in my grip again. Her mouth just gaped helplessly open. "You traitorous little whore," I spat.

Sunset blinked up at me with sticky eyes. She strained one last time against her bonds, trying to close her mouth. "Shimmer," she whimpered.

I couldn't stop. I slashed the blade across her throat.

And then, quiet. Quiet and the fast-flowing stream of water behind me.

Then she started screaming, thrashing and wailing and choking on her own spit like a newborn baby. I laughed and pushed her over, laying her out on her side. "Keep it down," I said over her strangled cries. "You're gonna make yourself sick."

I patiently waited while Sunset's screams slowly died down. She lay pale and twitching, gulping pathetically through the silk in her mouth while her brain sorted itself out. I watched her eyes flick all over the place, getting slower and slower as she pieced it together. There was no wetness beneath her. Her heart wasn't stopping. Nothing on me, nothing on the floor. And nothing on her throat - just a faint, lingering pressure.

"It's blunt, dumbass." I waved the knife in front of her face and bopped her with it for good measure. "You are such an idiot. I'm not gonna risk killing you over a dumb prank."

I stretched and ambled over to my discarded boots, sliding the dull knife into its sheath in one of them. "This is the real one," I continued, drawing my prized possession out of the other. "When one of the things you're known for is carrying one of these, it helps to have a fake hidden somewhere. People are a lot less cautious around you when they think they've got you unarmed." I walked back and waved the real thing in front of her. "Sound familiar?"

She didn't even try to answer. I sighed. "Sunset, listen." I slid the knife underneath the rope of silk around her neck, letting her feel how effortlessly it cut through, setting her free. "If we're going to save Manehattan, we have to be able to trust each other. That means no secrets. Ever. I know everything about you, and you know everything about me. We keep each other safe, we do everything the other can't, and at the end of the day, we've always got someone who understands us to go home to." I ripped the silk from her mouth and smiled. "Deal?"

Still, she just lay there. "How can I ever trust you?" she croaked. "You hurt me."

"Oh, Sunny. You're me. The bravest, softest, most beautiful person in the world." When she still wouldn't sit up, I lay down beside her and cradled her against my chest. "You're perfect, Sunny. Good and beautiful and perfect. How can you think that I would ever try to hurt you?"

Author's Note

...everyone just pretend this showed up two months ago, okay?