It's So Hard To Say

by Spike-Fan_1995

Rating: mature
Tags: Spike, Bon-Bon, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Lyra, Romance
Length: 2661

Harpsy has a secret that wants to be lead out. But will he let it out? MLP R63 Story. Characters are gender swapped.

Harpsy has a secret. A secret that he wants to tell everypony, but is to scared to. Not even just that, but he also has a crush on a certain some-pony he wishes to confess to. Will he ever tell the truth, or will he keep his secret bottled up inside? R63 story/characters are gender swapped.

Published 2015-02-27 05:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-19 16:55:15 UTC

Chapter 1

It was a warm, sunny day in Ponyville. Everypony was out doing there usual deeds. Like the Apple family, Apple Jack, his big sister Macareina, and his little brother Apple Buck were out doing there chores, Rainbow Blitz was napping on a cloud, and Dusk Shine was busy with research. We also have a stallion by the name of Harpsy walking around Ponyville. He was a mint green unicorn stallion with a cutie mark of, ironically with his name, a harp. Harpsy was the best harp player anyone had ever heard. He had a few ponys who really liked his music. Ponies like Octavio, a grey stallion with a music note for a cutie mark, thought his music is magnificent. His roommate, and best friend, whom he also tolerated at times, Record Scrape didn't feel the same way, because he thought it was boring. But it was alright, because they both agreed that nopony has to like the same thing. However, what a lot of people didn't know is that Harpsy was carrying a secret, that he never told anyone. He was looking for a relationship. But the problem was, he wasn't looking for a relationship with a mare, but the same gender as himself. Yes! Harpsy was a closeted homosexual. He had times where he wanted to come out, but he always chickened out at the last minute. He was always afraid of what ponies would think of him for finding other stallions attractive over mares. He had an attraction for only one stallion though. A stallion he had seen on a few accasions, but never talked to. He was the stallion who owned the candy shop. He was a stallion who had a cream colored coat with two bon bond as a cutie mark. He was known for making the best candy in Ponyville. Bubble Berry bought candy from this stallions store most of the time when he was baking cupcakes or other sweets. This stallions name was Babar. The town already knew Babar was gay when he first came to Ponyville, with his appearance, and the fact that he bought a stylized sweater from Elusive's Boutique. He was also very flamboyant. Some towns folk didn't care, but some did behind his back. Harpsy remembered the party Bubble Berry threw for Babar. And Harpsy immediately felt attracted to this stallion. He wanted to go up and talk to him, but he just couldn't work up the nerve. He was too shy. But today he was going into Babar's shop, and try to talk to him. He was going to try and make a move.

*Deep breath* "Okay Harpsy, you can do this, just go in there, and strike up a conversation with him." He said as he walked toward the shop, which was not to far away.

"You can do this, you can do this, you can do this..." He kept repeating himself.

However, while he was saying this, he was not looking where he was going, and he bumped into some pony, or somedragoness.

"Oh, sorry I wasn't looking where I was going." Harpsy said, very apologetically.

The baby dragoness, named Barbara, or just Barb, who also was Dusk Shine's assistant/little sister got up after being knocked down by Harpsy and said "Don't worry about it. I wasn't looking where I was going either."

"So your fine?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Do you need help with anything, Miss Barbara?" Harpsy asked politely.

"Nah!" Barb said. "I was just about to go to Babar's candy shop to get some chocolate covered peanuts for Dusk. And you just call me Barb."

"Okay. Hey I was just about to go to the candy shop as well. Would you like to join me?" Harpsy asked.

"Sure. I could use the company." Barb exclaimed.

And with that, Harpsy and Barb walked there way to the candy shop. And Barb struck up another conversation with him.

"So, why are you going to the candy shop Harpsy?" Barb asked.

Harpsy blushed at first, and said "No reason. I just wanted to get some chocolate. I have a big sweet tooth, you know."

Barb noticed Harpsy blush at first. Was there another reason why he was going to the store other than chocolate. She didn't say anything, until they finally arrived at the candy shop.

"Well, we're here. Now to get those chocolate covered peanuts that Dusk is addicted to. And I really mean that, he IS addicted to this stuff Harpsy." Barb said with a giggle.

"Yeah, and I'll get what I came here for." Harpsy said.

They entered the store and were greeted by the stallion Harpsy was planning to talk to.

"Hello, and welcome to Babar's Candy Shop. Pick out any thing you like." Babar greeted with a smile on his face.

Harpsy blushed as Babar smiled at him and Barbara, who noticed the blush on his face again. Barbara again ignored it, but had a thought in her head about it.

So Barbara finally got the chocolate covered peanuts Dusk asked for. She then put them on the counter and paid about 5 bits, which Dusk gave her, to Babar and left, bidding Harpsy and Babar farewell. Harpsy was just looking at some random candy while taking quick looks at Babar, hoping he wasn't noticed. He finally chose, ironically, what Barbara chose and that was chocolate covered peanuts and put them on the counter.

"So you also chose my chocolate covered peanuts as well? These are becoming very popular aren't they?" Babar said.

"Yeah, they are. The candy you make here is excellent. My name's Harpsy by the way."

"Nice to meet you Harpsy, as I said when you and Miss Barbara walked in here, my name is Babar." He said.

Harpsy was thinking about what else he should say. He then finally said "So how are you today?"

"Oh, I'm super. Thanks for asking. How are you?" Babar asked.

"I'm great." Harpsy said nervously.

"So anyways, that will be 5 bits." Babar said.

Harpsy handed over the 5 bits to Babar.

"Thank you so much for shopping here today. Please come again soon." Babar exclaimed cheerfully.

"No problem. I will." Harpsy said, as he exited the store with the chocolate covered peanuts. They were not his favorite kind of candy, but at least he was able to finally talk to Babar, and that's all that mattered.

He then had an idea. Since he had no interest in this candy, he would give it to Barb. She'd probably like them. That, and she was also a pretty sweet little girl as well. So he ran off to go look for her.

*Dusk's Library*

"Dusk, I'm back." Barbara said.

Dusk came down the stairs to greet his assistant/little sister.

"So you got the chocolate Barb?" He asked.

"Yes. Yes I did." Barb said proudly. "Here you go." She said as she handed them over to Dusk.

"All right. Thanks Barb." Dusk said as he opened the container and started to eat them.

As Dusk was eating the chocolate covered peanuts, Barb was thinking about Harpsy. She was a little curious about why he was acting so nervous around Babar's Candy Shop and Babar himself. She and Harpsy did know each other very well. Harpsy actually played a song for Barbara on her birthday one time at a party that Bubble Berry threw for her. He also stopped in on a few occasions at the library and talked to her, and, behind Dusk's back most of the time, helped her out with her chores. She and Harpsy were very good friends. Harpsy also knew about her crush on Elusive. He kept her secret safe, even thought most of, if not everyone, in Ponyville knew if. However, he never talked about a made he liked to her, and even though it was brought up, he said he wasn't interested in a relationship with a mare right now.

"I ran into Harpsy on the way to the Candy Shop Dusk." Barb said.

"Oh really. How is he?" Dusk asked.

"He's fine, but he acted a little weird when we entered the candy shop."

"Define weird." Dusk said.

"Well, when I asked him why he was going to the candy shop, he was getting red in the face and getting all nervous. He was also like that when we entered the shop and Babar smiled at him. I don't wanna cause anything Dusk, but I think Harpsy may, quite possibly, be gay." Barb said.

Dusk then asked "Well is there a problem with that? Harpsy is still your friend right?"

"Well yeah, it's just why didn't he tell me if he is gay? I don't care if he is or not, but I don't like it when my closest friends keep secrets from me. When they do, I always try to find out what it is." Barb said.

"Well Barb, if Harpsy is gay or not, I don't think that's any of our business. He'll say it when he wants to say it. And I think, with how good of friends you and Harpsy are, I think you'll be one of the first people he says it too. Am I right?" Dusk said.

Barb sighed and said "As always, yes you are Dusk. I guess I'll just have to wait, until he's comfortable with saying it."

"That's my little sister. Now why don't you go and take a break Barb. Maybe go see Elusive. He may need help with something at his shop." Dusk said.

"Okay, and thanks Dusk." Barb said as she walked out of the library to Elusive's Boutique. She still had Harpsy's weird behavior on her mind. She wanted to ask him if he was gay, but she agreed with Dusk Shine, and was going to wait until he was ready.

Even if her curiosity may end up getting the best of her.

Chapter 2

Barbara walked over to Elusive's boutique, but she still had Harpsy on her mind. She was really curious as to if Harpsy was gay or not. She wondered what it would be like to have a gay friend. The problem was she didn't know that much about gay or lesbian ponies in Ponyville. She needed some advice. Then an idea struck her. After she would finish helping Elusive out, she would ask him what his opinion of gay ponies. So after all that pondering, she finally made it to Elusive's Boutique.

*At Dusk's Library*

Dusk was busy doing some research, when all of a sudden, there was a knock at his door.

"Come in." Dusk said loud enough.

The door opened, and it was Harpsy.

"Hey, is Barbara home?" Harpsy asked politely.

"Hey Harpsy. No Barb isn't here. She went to Elusive's Boutique to help him out with a few things. Do you need something?" Dusk asked.

"Not really. I just wanted to drop off these chocolate peanuts to her. I bought some, but I decided she should have them." Harpsy said.

Dusk raised an eyebrow. "You bought the chocolate peanuts, which is what Barb bought, and now you want to give them to her? Why?" Dusk asked quizzically.

Nervously, Harpsy said "No reason. She's my friend, and I just felt like doing something nice for her."

Dusk looked at him like he didn't believe him, but he didn't have time for this, because he was busy with research for Lord Solaris.

"Okay. You can just leave them here, and when Barb gets back, I'll give them to her, when she gets back."

"Okay, thank you Dusk Shine. I'll see you later."

Then Harpsy ran out the door.

Dusk was a little confused. Why would Harpsy buy chocolate peanuts, and then just give them to Barbara. She told Dusk that Harpsy does have a sweet tooth, especially when it comes to chocolate. Dusk thought something suspicious was going on with Harpsy. But he just went right back to his research.

*Elusive's Boutique*

Barb had just finished helping Elusive with many things that needed to be done around the place. Like counting sewing needles, fabric, and silk for articles of clothing. She was almost out of breath, but it was all worth it. She made Elusive happy, and that's all that matters.

"Thank you for your help today, Barb. I very much appreciate it." Elusive said proudly.

Barbara blushed and said "No problem Elusive. Anything for you."

"Well that's pretty much it for chores today. So I guess you can go now." Elusive said.

"Actually, Elusive before I go, I need some advice. Can you help me?" Barb asked.

"Oh absolutely. What do you need help with Barb?" Elusive said.

"This may be weird to ask, but, what do you think of gay ponies?" She asked.

Elusive was stunned by this question. He then cleared his throat and said "Why do you ask this Barb?"

"Well, I don't wanna cause anything, but I think one of my closest friends might be gay. And I just want to know if it's okay if he is gay and that I can still be friends with him, or if it'll be to awkward to be around him. So, since your an older pony, and I'm only 12, I just want to get your opinion on it, and make an opinion of my own." Barb said.

Elusive tried to find the right words to say to her, but couldn't think of anything to say. After a few minutes of silence he finally said "Well Barb, sweetie, gay ponies are different in a way. They act different, they look different, and they have a different vibe about them. And if you hang out with them, that differentness can rub off on you. And some people can choose to be different, and some can stay the same. But some don't want to feel different when there around a different pony. Because, if they do, they will be different just like them. What I mean is that if these gay ponies were around straight ponies, or straight dragoness', they might set off a vibe that will make them feel this way as well. Now I am straight, and whenever I'm around a gay or lesbian pony, I don't want that vibe to reach me, so I avoid them. I really don't agree with gay or lesbian ponies lifestyle. So Barb I say maybe you should avoid this friend of yours, and not let this vibe get to you. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yeah. I think so." Barb said.

"Okay, why don't you run along now Barb. Have a nice day okay." Elusive said.

"Okay, bye Elusive." Barbara said.

As Barb walked out the door, she thought about what Elusive said, and she didn't know what to think. He said something about a vibe. However, the times she hung out with Harpsy, she didn't feel anything. She still felt the same as she is standing right here, right now. She still couldn't make an opinion about this. She needed to ask some pony else. Then another idea struck her mind. She should ask all of Dusk Shine's friends about this. Maybe they might say something different. She could ask Apple Jack, Bubble Berry, Butterscotch, and Rainbow Blitz. Maybe she should ask Dusk last. The reason is because, Dusk never gave his opinion of gays. And since she knew Dusk so well, after she would ask him, maybe then she could make an opinion on whether or not it's right to have a gay friend. So with that, she decided the first pony she should ask is Bubble Berry. The reason was because he knew a lot about relationships. He was kind of a mareizer. Not as much as Rainbow Blitz, but man did Bubble Berry know how to score with the mares. That, and she had a sudden craving for a cup cake. So she walked down the road straight to Sugercube Corner.