A New World, Another Day

by Orange Pudding

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Tragedy, Twilight Sparkle, Discord, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Other, Original Character
Length: 21169

When some crazy Rocket Grunts send me through a real-life portal at the exact moment Arceus does that "Rest now, my children" schtick, my life kind of goes to hell in this new land I'm in.

So, my name is Miles. And my life is hell now. Or at least, half of it.

What the heck does that mean? Well, long story short, I was sent through a portal right when Arceus decides to send "all the good little boys and girls and pokémon to a happy land of ponies and rainbows". Bleh, I wish.

See, that machine I was inside caused a little... um, glitch in the legendaries' plan for me. It seemingly sent me to an alternate timeline, where the ponies waged a war and caused the apocalypse. I find myself in the "Equestrian Wasteland" at first. Good news, though, I'm not stuck there the entire time.

Thanks to my now unstable genetic make-up, I'm constantly flipping back and forth between the timeline that I was SUPPOSED to be in, and the one I was not. So I can be at a party in town one minute, then BOOM: I wake up to find myself in a town full of raiders. F$%@. Celebi better hurry up and fix this. I'm gonna die if I'm left out here too long.

A side-story to zeusdemigod's crossover A New World, A New Way. Thanks Zeus, for letting me put up this idea, even if it's non-canon!

What else, what else... oh! Mind the swearing as well. There will be swearing, and some really bucked up things going on. Kiddies, this story's not for you! Also, the artwork does NOT belong to me at ALL. It's actually the work of a dude who goes by SilverCrow95. He worked really hard on the piece, so go check out his gallery! No seriously, GO.

Published 2014-08-22 08:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-06 21:23:24 UTC

Pop goes the Rocket

"Dammit."

Huh. Now isn't that a word to start a story on? I apologize for not using a wider range of vocabulary, but... considering the fact that I am trying to get to the top of Lumiose Tower before this Rocket Executive can make his get-away, and he just blocked off the elevator, I think I'm allowed something more... colorful.

Hi, my name is Miles. I'm not giving you my last name, since I don't know who you are, and whether or not you want to harm me.

This is the story of how I ended up in a big mix-up that caused me to experience both the happy-go-lucky land of Equestria, and the desolate, gloomy land that is known as "The Wasteland". Both lands are technically the same area geographically, but in terms of time and dimension? They couldn't be more different.

Most of the legendaries still refuse to apologize for pulling me along and dropping me off at the corner of Heaven and Hell. Celebi and Arceus were nice about it, though, doing the apologies for their kin. Celestia's weirdo head scientist also continues to run experiments with me, as if there's anything left to analyze that hasn't already been covered.

Oh, and Pinkie Pie says hi to all those are reading this. That mare just likes to barge in when you least expect, then shove her pink head in your business. Oh well, I can't really complain. She reminds me a lot of... well, I'll get to that later.

If I hadn't already said some pretty weird shit concerning our world's shift to Equestria, then this next bit outta make you call 911 on me. Apparently, a weird time traveler pony bumped into me one day, obviously frazzled by this big interference with the cosmic order. He was a brown earth pony stallion, who went by the name of "The Doctor". He was a big help in my predicament, needless to say. He kept muttering something about how my "Adventures Through the Wormhole" not only caused a constant switching back and forth between a dangerous land and a relatively harmless one, but also landed me in a mirror dimension that exactly parallels the one I was supposed to be in.

Palkia and Dialga laughed in agreement, not letting me in on whatever the fuck they were talking about. And when Discord was let in on it, I decided I was just done with trying get an answer out of them. They just said something about how "it almost feels like Zeus's work". Well, whoever this "Zeus" jackass is, he owes me big-time for basically putting me in Wonderland.

But I'm done rambling about what's going to happen concerning the ponies and pokémon and political matters that Twilight Sparkle doesn't give a shit about. I should get back to what going on right now. Summary: I'd just won a Gym Battle against a new friend of mine, Clemont. But the Team Rocket Executive I had been chasing after for a while now has just cut the main power to Lumiose Tower, forcing it to go on Back-up power, and escaping right through the Gym while we were distracted. He took the elevator, as previously stated, and he blocked me off from using it.

So, yeah. I'm stuck with the stairs. Again. Why can't they ever let me take the elevator?

Clemont tried to keep up, but the poor guy is always carrying that heavy-ass backpack, so mobility is lessened in favor of his technology. He'll probably be upset when he finally reaches the top of the tower, only to realize he was too slow to save his own gym.

The stairs always give me a workout in the process anyway. I'm just going to need that expended energy for up ahead.

My thoughts were interrupted by a door at the top of the stairs, presumably heading outside. The bastard probably locked the door already, hoping he could slow me down. But something trivial like that wouldn't even last a precious second. Not when I have my partners, I thought to myself as I reached to my belt.

My Toxicroak, Havoc, used a mean Karate Chop on the door and sent it flying. With the obstruction out of the way before I could even reach it, I got to the roof in record time. Good thing too, since the Executive was calling for a helicopter. The Mud Shot that I had Havoc throw at him struck the phone with wicked precision, and knocked out it out of his hands. He had a look of surprise on his face for a moment, but it faded into an evil smile as he turned to face me.

I hated that look. "I'm afraid you're too late. The copter is already on it's way." I figured as much. "And you have exactly 2 minutes to try and stop me. Care to try?"

I didn't answer his question directly. I only directed Havoc to attack with Low Sweep. The Toxicroak surged forward on command, ready to strike down his target with a maliciousness that would cause many to run away in fear.

The man hardly flinched. "Machamp, please show these two how determined we are to see Rocket rise again." The ball was lightly tossed into the air like a pitcher would toss a softball in a little league game. The massive pokémon materialized instantly, and was ready to counter the oncoming attack.

Havoc nearly made it, but the Machamp grabbed him with ridiculous speed and raised him up in air. Then he used Seismic Toss, and slammed him into the hard surface. It looked painful enough for me to feel it.

"Honestly, you're so slow. That's 30 seconds right there." Cocky bastard.

I called out another move. "Close Combat!" My partner was ready for that, and sent a flurry of punches and kicks into the body of his opponent. The exec opened his snarky mouth, probably about to say something about how his Machamp couldn't feel such weak strikes or something stupid like that, but his smile faded when he saw his pokémon actually reeling back in pain. "Great job, Havoc! Keep it up!"

He glared in my direction. "Close Combat." The counter move was expected, considering that it was usually only used as a last resort. The defense was sacrificed in favor of delivering a devastating barrage of punches and kicks. Havoc was used to seeing this sort of move, and fluently countered and dodged the attacks. The Machamp wasn't as agile, and took more blows than him, but he was bulkier and more durable. It looked like an even fight so far.

We fought dirty, though. After a performing a backflip right out of an action movie, Havoc quickly threw his Mud Shot at Machamp's face. The Ground-type move only blinded him temporarily, but those few seconds were all my partner needed. With his opponent standing still, he delivered a devastating Ice Punch right into Machamp's face. He bellowed in agony and anger.

"Tick tock, dude," I mocked, "Only one minute left before you face the music." His face was priceless. My only regret now is that I didn't have a camera right then. "Aw, what's the matter? Were you hoping to be this big bad man that would show me just how weak I am compared to you? To make me feel powerless?" I started to walk towards him. "News flash: I've been doing this shit for a long while now. I can easily incapacitate you right now if I wanted to. But I was hoping to make this look epic. You know, something to fondly look back upon and remember as "the good old days". And this is the part where I try to snap your neck."

He stepped back away from me. "T-this won't mean anything! I will revive Team Rocket back to it's former glory! I WILL stomp out all resistance! And I WILL NOT be stopped by you!" He reached into his coat pocket for something I knew would not end well for me. I rushed forward, and knocked the pistol out of his hand before he could fire. He tried to grab me, but I was faster, and I rolled underneath his legs to kick them out beneath him. He fell to the ground unprepared.

His Machamp fell to the ground as well. Havoc stood proudly over his unconscious foe, and saw his intended target was well within his reach. He would've paralyzed the executive, but he heard the rotating blades of a helicopter approaching. The Toxicroak decided that the vehicle took priority over me and my brawl. He trusted me to hold my own.

He disappeared off the roof, but it didn't matter to me right then. I was more preoccupied with trying to defeat this man, who clearly was not expecting me to rush at him. I got back on my feet and tried to stomp on him. He rolled out of the way before I did, and got back up. We stared at each other for a few seconds, before he sprinted towards the gun lying on the ground. I knew he would go for it, and I lunged at the weapon. I reached it just before he did, and pointed it at him.

"......The tables have turned, it seems," He stated surprisingly calmly. A spotlight flashed right into my eyes suddenly, and I didn't have time to shield them before I was momentarily blinded. "It's a shame. You were so close, too. Ah well. One kid can't stop an entire organization." I looked back up, spots still dancing in my eyes, and saw the copter with a red R emblazoned on the side. I saw the doors on it open, and Rocket grunts with assault rifles were aiming right at me. Shit.

I looked away in resignation, hearing them open fire at me. The sounds went on for a good ten seconds before I realized something: I was still alive. I wasn't even scratched, and I still heard gunfire above me. I looked up, and I shockingly realized that everything within a 10-foot-radius was a calming blue, like a veil of water.

The Executive swore. I looked around in confusion, before my gaze settled on someone standing a few feet away from me. I smiled.

"THE FUTURE IS NOW, THANKS TO SCIENCE!" Clemont was emitting some sort of beam that was creating the shield from his backpack. "I call this: "The Instant Shield Emitter That Blocks Gunfire" ray!" He turned towards us. "Thanks for waiting for me, Miles," He deadpanned.

I chuckled in response. "No problem, Clem."

The Exec not pleased with this turn of events, to say the least. "How DARE you kids meddle in our affairs!"

The Gym Leader frowned. "You were the one who stole the schematics for the Power Plant energy machines. It's only fair to assume that if you did that, AND try to escape from Kalos through Lumoise Tower, and MY Gym, you would be stopped."

"Don't try to talk down to me, you brat!" He mad-dashed to my friend.

He didn't get far. Not after I pumped a bullet into his knee with his own gun. He screamed in agony as he collapsed to the ground. Clemont shot me a look. I shrugged.

Meanwhile, the gunfire outside our protective bubble had ceased. I looked up to see that the tail of the vehicle had been broken off, and a couple of the grunts had fallen out. The aircraft was spinning wildly out of control, and it was plummeting down into the populated streets below. Luckily, I planned ahead for this, and asked as many trainers I could with Psychic-type pokémon to gather around Lumiose tower in preparation. So the combined use of Psychic kept the innocents safe from any wreckage, and the grunts that had fallen out would be rescued as well.

Havoc was standing on a building nearby, nodding at me. I waved at him, and thanked him for the air support.

The Exec was not done ranting and raving, even in the midst of his wound. "You... you rotten ASSHOLES! Team Rocket was supposed to rise again tonight! Do you realize how difficult it is to raise a mafia?! It took me months just to plan for it! And now it may never be revived again!"

I rolled my eyes and strolled calmly over to him. "That was the whole point, dipshit." I waved the gun casually at his face. "Sooo... I have another bullet in here..." I suggested, and he caught my drift.

My friend gasped in shock as he turned off his stupidly-named gadget. "W-what?! You're not seriously about to kill him, are you?!"

I stroked my chin, pretending to mull it over in my head, all while still making the Exec stare right down the barrel. Of course I wasn't about to kill the jerk, no matter how much he deserved it. I wasn't about to become a wanted man in the name of justice. And besides, I heard what the prisons are like in the Alcamax islands, the maximum security prison islands. He would be suffering a lot more there.

"Eh, I'm feeling generous today," I lied, "I'll let you live. If only to see which island you're getting shipped off to, sir." I tossed away the gun, and both Clemont and the exec sighed in relief.

"I hope what you did was worth it, sir. Because not even Phoenix Wright could save you. Not that he'd ever consider your case." Officer Jenny was shoving the Ex-Executive and his goons into an armored truck, berating them for their heinous acts of theft and attempted homicide.

The limping man continued to rave like a lunatic. "This isn't the last you've seen of Team Rocket! You will all pay for this!"

One of the grunts just gave him a sad look. "With all due respect, boss... just shut the hell up already." They were seated in the back, and the heavy doors were slammed shut.

I stood there, conversing with a man named Looker. He apparently was tailing the criminal, waiting for the right moment to strike. I still wasn't able to register the fact that he had no pokémon of his own, so he was basically defenseless without his partner. "You have done great so far, young Miles. You managed to take down Team Rocket mk. II before it was complete. Congratulations." I gave him a surprised look. "Ah, you're wondering how I know your name, right?" I nodded, and he laughed. "You don't stay on the International Police without finding the occasional vigilante. You're quite famous, I hear."

It's true, I had been to a few regions. Ever since Sinnoh, I had been going around and taking on the crimes of evil there, in Unova, and now Kalos, and challenging a few Gyms here and there. I had just beaten Clemont a few hours ago, when the building went haywire, and the Ex-Exec had gone through.

"So, I heard you have a new partner?" I asked.

"Ah yes, I did mention that. He's actually the new Champion."

I blinked. "Calem? Boy from Vaniville? Defeated Team Flare? THAT champion?" He nodded. "Wow. He must be an effective partner, then." He laughed.

A while later, Looker lead me back to his office, where he could ask questions in privacy. I got to meet this nice girl named Emma, and her Espurr Mimi. They seemed nice.

A few boring questions later, the detective had all the info he needed, and was ready to send me on my way. Before he did, however, he wanted to ask me one more question. I tried not to sigh. "Do not worry. This question is not like the others. But first..." He made a call on his Holocaster to somebody. I didn't hear the voice on the other side of the conversation. "Okay... hurry here." Looker ended the call, and faced me. "We had gotten a job regarding a theft in the Hotel not far from here, so I decided to send my partner and Emma on this case." Wait, what?

A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. The detective told the unknown party to come in. The door opened, and I was shocked. Standing right there, in front of me, was the new champion.

"I got here as fast as I could, Looker. Something about theft?" Calem asked. He paused for a moment when he saw me. "Oh, um, hello. Who's this, Looker?"

"That is Miles, a vigilante hero who just stopped Team Rocket from forming again." I rubbed the back of my neck in embarassment.

Calem's eyes widened. "Wow, really? That's him?" He walked over to me and shook my hand. "Wow, thank you, on behalf of Kalos and the world." He let go of my hands, and smirked. "The entire city's talking about you, man. This'll be all over Kalos by tomorrow." I rolled my eyes.

The boy faced his partners as the elder detective explained the situation. He nodded, and called out his Meowstic. I was a little jealous, since I've always wanted a cool-looking Meowstic on my team. Specifically a male, both because his blue coat looked amazing, and he was an excellent defender.

The pairs of young sleuths looked kinda cool. Calem thanked me again, and promised me an unofficial battle in the future, and then he walked out the door, striking up a conversation with Emma. The Meowstic and Espurr seemed to be conversing with one another as well, judging by the low chorus of "Es Espurrr"s and "Stic Meow Meowstic"s.

Looker sighed. I saw he had a sad smile on his face. "I'm not a very permanent man, Miles. I'm a world-traveler." He walked around the desk. "I don't really have a "home", so to speak. And my new partners..." He looked away. "I've been looking for someone like you. Someone who can do work outside of his home region on a regular basis." Looker gazed outside of the window behind his desk. "This isn't a partnership, mind you. That would require you to do a slew of jobs with me. And I think I'd just slow you down." He smiled in my direction. "How would you like to be head of an international branch of the Looker Agency?"

I blinked again. He was asking me to do what now? This was a bit too much to process. There were too many things to think about.

"And of course, money is no object. Something decent for your line of work, if you agree." Oh, thanks for adding to the clusterfuck.

I stood there in silence for a few moments. I finally managed to make my mouth work. "U-Um... can I have some time to think about it?"

Looker understood. "Take all the time you need, Miles." I thanked him, and somewhat shakily left.

I was sitting outside a café, having a late supper with my small team of three pokémon and me. I had just ordered a fancy ravioli with some less refined food for my partners.

"Wow. Imagine us, heads of an international branch of an agency, dedicated to warding off the forces of evil." I mused. El Halcón (my Hawlucha) rolled his eyes, Havoc seemed to be thinking about the possibilities of this oppurtunity, and Melody (my Audino) was clapping her hands in delight.

My pokémon were something to take into consideration as well. Melody seemed to be on board with the idea, Havoc is kind of indifferent to the whole thing, and El Halcón... well, I don't know about him. As always, I can't decipher what he's saying.

If I were to take this job, I would need some sort of name for it, wouldn't I? Hmm...

I wasn't able to finish my thought before a loud sound and explosion were heard from a few blocks away. I sighed, wishing I at least got to have dinner first.

The four of us reached the source of the commotion, only to find a couple of Rocket grunts trying to make their escape, all while using their Raticate and Zangoose to create the biggest commotion possible. Possibly to ward off any pursuers. Too bad they were stupid.

"El Halcón!" I called, "Use Flying Press!" My friend responded with amazing speed, and attacked with ferocity that would make luchadors cry. The attack connected with the Raticate, who was using Hyper Beam to destroy some unlucky mailboxes, and the pokémon went down hard. The grunts saw us, and had Zangoose retaliate while Raticate was called back. Melody's Secret Power attack hit the poor opponent before it even had a chance to slow us down.

The two crooks realized just how screwed they were, and ran into an alley up ahead. I wasn't about to have any of it.

When we reached the alleyway, we saw that the two were gone. I figured they were hiding at first, waiting for us to walk in so they could ambush me. Well, nice try. "Melody! Secret Power!"

The energy orbs hit everything in the alley, knocking over everything it could. The dumpster was pushed to the side, revealing a hidden door. I smirked. They were cornered now.

One Karate Chop later, the secret door was flung off it's hinges, and fell inside the room. I looked around, only seeing darkness. Closing the door behind me, I felt along the wall to find a light switch. After a minute of blindly searching, I found it. I flipped it, and the lights in the room flashed on in a dingy yellow.

"Gotcha!" The Rocket grunts thought I was the one who was trapped, huh? I turned to face them, and got an eyefull of a strange machine they were standing next to. It was a giant metal ring with tubes connected to different parts of it. The tubes all lead to a terminal that seemed to control the machine.

Oh.

"So, you think you can just arrest the boss, and get away with it?" One of the grunts guffawed at me. "You're in deep shit now, bitch."

The other grunt swept his arm in the ring's direction. "You see that? That is what we needed that energy for. A portal!"

"With this portal, who knows where we could've gone, and what we could've accomplished?"

"Imagine all the pokémon we'd get!" The grunt practically had hearts in his eyes. It was disgusting.

"Unfortunately, we only have the power for one use. So," They turned on the machine. "you get to be our guinea pig!"

I gulped. I guess I was the one who's been cornered.

The machine whirred to life, creating sparks inside the ring. I wasn't about to see that thing finish. "Havoc, Venoshock!" The Toxicroak fired the sludge at the two, pinning them to the wall. El Halcón flew towards the terminal and tried to smash it to pieces, but whoever built the thing made it to be extremely durable.

The ring's sparks ignited an explosion of colors that shone brightly across the room. A swirling vortex was created in the ring. And it functioned like a vacuum, pulling all manner of things into it. Including me.

I was pulled off my feet by the portal, wanting to swallow me whole like the greedy pig it was. I grabbed the side of the ring desperately, hoping to Arceus that it would somehow turn out okay. I didn't want to go down like this. But half of me was already inside the vortex, and my grip was slipping on the metallic surface. My partners saw me, and tried to get to me.

But I couldn't let them. "STOP! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER! YOU'LL JUST BE SUCKED IN TOO!" They didn't want to listen, they wanted to just grab my hands, and pull me out. "DON"T!! I CAN'T LET YOU DIE TOO!! PLEASE, STAY PUT!!!" They were tearing up. Oh Arceus, why? Not like this, please!

"I LOVE YOU ALL!" I managed to get that out before my hold on the ring gave out. I didn't even have time to scream as the portal slurped me up.

Then I found myself spinning. Spinning around and around in a dark and empty space. I couldn't see my own hand. I couldn't even hear my own voice.

It was hard to breathe. I felt like I was drowning, but without any water. I couldn't tell if there was no oxygen, or if I was hyperventilating. It didn't matter. I couldn't breathe. And I was getting sleepy. No no no, please, just keep awake.... please...

But it was useless, and inevitable. My consciousness was slipping away. But it was... strangely calm. I felt peaceful, like I was just about to take a nap. The last thing I remember before I blacked out was this strangely regal voice that was fatherly in inflection.

It said something along the lines of, “Rest now my children, for when you awake, a whole new world shall be your home.”

Lovely, omnipresent space dad. Lovely...

The dream I had was incredibly vivid and detailed. I looked upon a city that sat upon a mountain, filled with brightly colored creatures. The creatures all looked like... horses. And they all looked like they were smartly dressed, as if I had stumbled upon the elite of their kind. I probably did.

Then, as if someone pressed the "zoom in" button on a camera, I was flung towards a giant castle that sat within the city. I went through an open window, gazing in on an absolute clusterfuck of a monster. It had the body parts of many different kinds of animals, and seemed to be a little off his rocker, judging by how he was lounging on a sofa... on the ceiling. He chuckled to himself, opening one of his yellow eyes. He looked in my direction, and smirked. "So, that one has lost his way, huh? He'll be in for a good time when he wakes up.

The door opened, a tall shadow coming from it. "You summoned me, Discord?" A female's voice inquired.

The monster got off of his couch, and casually walked down from the ceiling and down the walls. "I have a raid in mind, Lulu. A raid on Celestia's prized cake.

.......Weird dream.

Author's Note

And that's that. What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments below. Any criticism is welcome.

Oh, and a big thanks to ZeusDemigod for allowing me to throw my hat into the ring on this matter. I won't lie, I was a little disappointed at first for not being able to have my characters' exploits make any impact on the over-arching plot, but then I realized that since none of what I'm doing will effect any other characters by other authors... then I can do WHATEVER I WANT to Gene and Belle and Jayce and Nao and Seth and X and Tenebre AND THE WHOLE LOT OF THEM. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

.... ahem, just kidding (or am I?) And none of you lovely authors are jackasses in my book! Just so you know!

On a side note... MEGA BUCKING AUDINO! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

LET MY JOY RING OUT AND BE HEARD FROM THE HEAVENS!!!

In the Wasteland

Ohhhhhhhhhh, ow. This just sucks. This pain is unbearable.

Hey, wait a second.

If I can feel pain, then I'm still alive! WOOO!

I think I pumped my fists in the air, but more pain just shot through them. I tentatively lowered them back down. Ouch.

I figured if the darkness didn't already choke me to death, then this agony coursing through my veins would probably finish me off. Shiza.

My brain had finally picked back up on some of its other senses besides touch. I could begin smelling and hearing again. Sight was lacking a bit, and taste only offered a disgusting pinch of copper. No wait, that's just a teaspoon of blood.

It was like my senses were trying to bake an unpleasant mental cake, since the scents I picked up were enough to make me wretch a little. Arceus, and what I was hearing was a becoming a very potent part of this sensational dessert of pain.

A young, male voice was talking to someone. "......-ing's still alive, Rotten Tooth." I heard. Rotten Tooth? Is that a codename?

What I assumed was "Rotten Tooth" replied back with, "Lovely. T'at means we'll have ta kill dis thing 'fore we can eat 'im." Ech, no wonder he got that nickname. He sounds like the kind of guy who doesn't brush his teeth all that ofte-

Hang on a second. Eat him? Who are they talking about? Surely these hobos aren't hunting pokémon?! Or.... me? No no, they wouldn't, right?

A third voice, a female, interjected. "This dude's pretty big, though. Are we gonna be able to kill him AND have the strength to haul back his ass to town?" Maybe they weren't talking about me then. Unless they were refering to...

Nevermind that. My blurry eyes were beginning to focus again, and I'm not sure I like what I'm seeing. The sky (at least, what I assume is the sky. I'm laying on my back) was conpletely overcast with a strangely depressing grey. I'm not one to consider an overcast of clouds "depressing" or "gloomy". I just see them as sacks of air that are waiting to release moisture. But this just emanated "GLOOM" to me. And the landscape was worse, so far. All I saw was dark, ominous shapes in the distance, and the ground had no grass whatsoever. No green, no plants. Just dirt.

But worst of all, I saw the small party of hungry hobos through a blurry haze. They looked really short for some reason, and there were more of them than I anticipated. Six of these... short people were all gathered around me. And facing me. With shotguns and rifles. Armed and loaded. And three more of them were back a distance, near another short man with a rifle.

Rotten Tooth, who I assumed was the leader, began swearing at me. "Goddesses-dammit! 't's awake now! Dinner'll be difficult t'night, boys! Ready your weapons!" OH NO. It's me, it's so me! But cannibals?! What kind of monsters are these guys?!

I saw one of the weaponless guys start to shift uncomfortably. The dude behind him/her whacked the person in the side with their weapon with a grunt, and the person stood still again. Strangely enough, the man with the weapon used his head to keep the other one in place.

Rotten Tooth looked back at the small group. "Keep those slaves 'n check, Gut Buster! 'r else ya'll won't be gettin dinner t'night!" And they were slave drivers too?! DAFUQ, legendaries?! This isn't legal anywhere I've been!

But I was obviously not in a familiar land. That dumb portal actually worked, even though I have no idea where I am or how to get home. So I was in another part of the world. But even then, I still couldn't think of any foreign country where slave driving was still legal. Was I in a land where it was? You know what, who cares? It shouldn't be legal anywhere, and that's all that matters to me.

And don't get all pissy with me, politicians, for making this legal and just expecting me to LEAVE YOU ALONE. You should've thought of that before I burned down your slave farms, jack-asses.

Meanwhile, in reality, the slave drivers were aiming their guns right at me.

Huh? Oh, SHIZA, they're aiming their guns right at me!

My instincts kicked in, and saved me from becoming Miles Stew. My body rolled to the side, half a second before one of these fuckwads to my left fired their shotgun at me. And judging by how it only barely scraped my left shoulder, these guys weren't the best shots.

Still, as light as that wound was, it still hurt like a bitch. I clutched my shoulder with my right hand, and attempted to stand up to my full height.

That was a mistake, doing both at once. I honestly don't know which thing sent the shocking message to my brain first: the fact that my skin on my shoulder felt all slick and way too smooth to be human skin, that my hand felt incredibly weird and really large, or that my height felt really off, and my legs felt unnatural to stand up like that. Which was a little strange, considering that I had been standing like that for the past who knows how many years now.

Yeah, I was freaking out.

And of course, I couldn't stand there and scream like an idiot about something stupid, like how my hands felt so large, I was legitimately worried I had cancer. Those small people were still trying to kill me. Oh, and my eyes were adjusted finally, but I couldn't tell. Because those small people did not look like people at all. They actually looked like... ponies.

Not pokémon that were ponies, like Ponyta or Keldeo, just straight-up baby horses. With guns and slave ponies in tow. That at least seemed to explain the aiming problem they had. And that somehow was not freaking me out, but whatever. I was already disoriented and confused. Talking Ponyta-esque creatures? Why not?

I needed to get out of there, but it was the middle of a freaking desert, and any cover that could be offered to me were scattered thinly across the empty expanse.

Wait, that rock over there looks sturdy, and a great place to calm down and assess the situation. But I can't get there fast enough before they eventually hit me. Even these guys could shoot me before I take cover.

BLAM. Too late, I'm already running. That shot only missed me by a few inches, and I wasn't about to stick around to find out how these crooks would fare in the next shot.

I took off at a speed that really surprised me, the slave drivers' weapons loudly attempting to catch me with their bullets. Seriously, I nearly ran right past the boulder, I was going so fast. The outcropping only went up to my waist, but that didn't matter to me. I crouched below the rock to escape the enemy's barrage, in a position that felt similiar to a Greninja-

.....Shiza. I decided to chance a look at my hands, praying to Arceus that I was just horribly drugged into thinking my body was unnatural, and not actually a.... a....

MOTHER FUCKING PALKIA ON A STICK.

I'm a Greninja. There was no way around it. I had seen them before, taken classes where I'd learnt about their anatomy and behaviours. I had the "hands" of one. Looking down, I had the body of one. I felt around my new body, checking to make that I at least made a full transformation, and I wasn't some gross mutant. But no, I was a full-on Greninja. Looking between my legs, I saw my..... thing was not to be found. I could only assume it was just concealed under a flap or something. I still felt it.

You know what, I really should stop. I can practically hear the ladies screaming in disgust already.

A PEW right out of a cartoon alerted me to my current predicament. So I was a Greninja now, and I'm in some sort of cartoon world with talking, multi-colored horses. Oh, and it's apparently a post-apocalypse cartoon world on top of that, merely from observation of my surroundings.

I realized that these guys were also pretty intent on killing me and having my corpse for food. I instinctively reached for my belt, hoping to those pretty cruel legendaries that I could formulte some plan that didn't involve any of us becoming hunting targets.

But then I realized that I was alone, (and had no belt). My team did not follow me through that black hole. They probably would have, if I let them. But I gave what was kind of my family direct orders to not jump in after me. And now here I am, with nobody to help me this time.

My options limited, along with my time, I decided to try a diplomatic approach. I usually don't even consider diplomatic moves when it comes to absolute @^$holes like slave drivers. But seeing as how I had no way of fighting back at the time, I decided to give it a shot anyway.

"HEY!" I called out, emerging from behind the rock slowly with my ridiculously long arms held high, "DON'T SHOOT! Maybe we can talk this out?!" Lame, I know, but fuck you, my life was at stake.

The malicious ponies stopped coming towards my shelter for a few moments to listen to what I had to say. But what happened next utterly confused me. One of the younger males turned to an older, dirtier male, and said, "I think he's saying something, Rotten Tooth. Maybe he's surrenderin'?"

Rotten Tooth looked at me for another few seconds, pondering something. "Ah beleeve he is. E's got 'is arms up in tha air. But all Ah hear is "Ninja Gre Greninja" 'r somethin'." He grimaced in my direction, then at his fellow criminals. "Personally, Ah think e's tauntin us."

Oh, son of a-

The grundgey equine turned back at me, then cocked his weapon with his head... somehow. How do these guys even use the weapons? If the gun's in their mouth, do they pull the trigger with their tongues or something?

"Let's kill 'im brutally and all slow-like." They pointed their guns at me again, resuming their approach, and continued their barrage. I ducked before they got a shot in, but it was only a matter of time before the circled around my impromptu bunker and shot me point-blank. They would probably do it Robo Cop-style too. Difference being that 100 bullets would most likely not leave me with any solid body parts left, let alone in a salvageable state.

Another thing that bugged me was that I thought these creatures could communicate with pokémon. But they couldn't, somehow, and only heard "Gre Greninja". So that's what it felt like to travel with humans who couldn't understand you. Sure, I knew some trainers who had Psychic types or even a few select Dark types who had telepathic powers, and acted as translators for themselves and their teams.... but....

Hell, I even met a couple of trainers who were, ahem, really friendly with their Psychic partners. But that political mess is another story for another time.

PEW PEW. More shots rang off of the rock, as if enough bullets would make it crumble. But it would withhold. Dammit, if only I could fight back or something. But I had no pokémon with me, or any knowledge of martial arts.

........

........

........

Ever had one of those moments where you thought or said something relating to a current problem you had, only to realize the solution is A.(Right there in front of you, B.(Is so genius and soundly amazing, and C.(So obvious and stupidly simple that you feel like an imbecile for not thinking of it sooner?

I did.

I was a pokémon now. And not just any pokémon, no. I was a Arceus-damn Greninja, baby.

Problem was, I had no idea how to use any of my new powers or abilities. Was there a trick to it, or was it just a matter of thinking of wanting it to happen, and it just does?

Another gunshot sounded, scarily close to my position. I had to figure out how to use these moves right now.

Okay okay, so what's a move that's a popular attack among water-types? Um..... Water Pulse! Yeah! That should do the job.

Now, um.... Water Pulse? I tried to visualize creating an energy ball made of water, thinking of using Water Pulse myself. I held out my hands, straining to do something. But nothing did.

I could hear the quick hoofsteps of the enemy coming closer, so I tried harder, doing my best to make something happen, to use Water Pulse. This time, I managed to create a little sapphire ball of energy in my hands. It fizzled out within a second, but it was progress.

Progress that was too slow. I heard them reloading their guns, now just a few feet away from the boulder. They knew that I was a sitting duck, so they wanted to make it fun for themselves.

DAMN.

I knew what needed to be done now, or at least the backbone of using the move. I closed my eyes, so that I could fully concentrate on my task. I willed myself to not let anything distract me from unleashing my potential. Then, like someone flipped a mental switch, my senses dulled, and it felt like I was not in a wasteland, but in a calm meadow.

And at the same time, they were heightened, sensing everything with greater clarity than my eyes could manage. It was weird, but soothing. Is this what they call Nirvana? I dunno.

I used my entire mind to concentrate, to accomplish my mission: create Water Pulse.

Water Pulse. Water Pulse. Like it was breathing, this phrase went out of my mind, and into my being. Water Pulse. Water Pulse. Water Pulse. I went faster, faster, while all of existence went slower, slower. I had achieved a state of total concentration. Water Pulse. Water Pulse. WATER PULSE.

I had begun pushing harder, making the ins and outs go faster, making sure they did not miss a single beat. No clock worked properly with even just a slight dent in one of the tiny cogs inside it. It still hindered true progress and functionality. Water Pulse. Water Pulse! Water Pulse! I created a sense of enlightenment inside myself. I now knew how Pokémon drew power from themselves, how they drew their attacks and moves from a vast well of potential. Water Pulse! Water Pulse! WATER PULSE! WATER PULSE!

I understood the amount of strength it took to use such power. What it took to bring the imaginary into the real. What was required to make a pokémon truly powerful in it's own right. WATER PULSE! WATER PULSE! WATER PULSE! WATER PULSE! It did not matter that these slavers wanted to kill me like a wild animal. It did not matter that they were armed and right behind my physical and meaningless barrier. It did not matter if they thought they had the odds stacked their favor. It did not matter. Why?

WATER PULSE! WATER PULSE!!! WATER PULSE!!! Because they were extremely wrong.

My senses all kicked back in to their normal state, leaving me in the same spot as before.

But I knew exactly where each and every crook was standing, and where I need to aim this new torrent of energy and power to maximize damage.

I didn't realize it at the time, but now I know that whenever a pokémon uses a specific move, they always call it out in pokéspeak, like a battle cry. Kind of like how that one loud-mouthed and weird trainer had his Pikachu use Electro Ball. The Pikachu said something like, "Piiikaaaa... CHU PI!" everytime he used that move. Now I know it was because in pokéspeak, he was just saying "Electro Ball!". It sounds obvious now, but you really need to understand that when you're in the heat of battle, you don't really care WHAT kind of battlecry they're saying.

Anyway, I mention this because I jumped out from behind the rock, and shouted "WATER PUUULSE!!!" at the top of my lungs, which probably sounded more like "GREEE NINJAAA!" to non-pokémon. The slavers were taken aback by my confidence and battle cry, not expecting me to be very violent towards them when I was cowering and running away in fear just a couple of minutes ago. I flung my arms forward, unleashing a devastating Water Pulse at them.

The ball of energy flew towards it's intended target: the legs of one of the armed ponies that stood in the middle of the pack. The Water Pulse connected with the appendages, and caused an explosion that sent the hostiles flying in every direction. The unfortunate pony that got the brunt of the blast rolled across the ground in a dazed heap, not immediately realizing that he only had two mangled legs still attached to his body.

Ohhhhh.... ouch. Clearly, these creatures' bodies weren't even as durable as the average human's, who had bones and muscle that could withstand the average pokémon attack.

I landed on the ground, and looked at my new hands. Even as someone who had never used an attack before, I still dealt serious damage to these beings, KOing a few of them, leaving the others dazed and with minor injuries, even crippling one of them. I was suddenly granted powers that were unheard of.... outside of Castelia city on a friday night, when the Green Sableye went on a killing spree, and Spinarak Man had to save the day.

I couldn't dwell on that subject for too long, however, once the horses picked themselves back up. One of them had lost their shotgun, and seemed pretty sore about it. So what I assumed was a "she" pulled out a hatchet, and galloped towards me with the weapon swinging dangerously around.

So naturally, I decided to get the f out of Dodge, and vaulted myself up into the air. It was unexpected how high I could really jump. It was easily a couple of yards, if not higher, and I almost fell flat on my face. But I managed to land of my feet, and I sped away at a pace that left them all in the dust.

This time, I REALLY wanted to go fast, so I poured all of my energy into running with like a madman. Or maybe it's a madmon now?

So imagine the look on my face when I was surrounded by a bright, white light. I went even faster than I thought was possible. One of the males foolishly jumped into my path, wanting to block me off. He didn't expect me to headbutt him so hard that he would flip backwards. He was utterly helpless now, and couldn't get out of the way fast enough to avoid being trampled to death by my speedy form.

I had finally gained some considerable distance between me and the jerks. When I noticed that their bullets could not even hit me at my distance, I looked back at my attackers. The crippled pony had not gotten up, and didn't seem to be breathing. And the trampled one was not moving either. I had probably caused his cranium to cave in, and my feet had finished the job. The same female that had the hatchet was now hovering over the dead stallion's head, tears in her eyes. Another mare slowly walked over, and put her hoof on the crying girl's heaving shoulder.

I felt a pang of guilt. But I couldn't allow myself to feel sorry for those who chose to hurt others so that they could take their belongings for themselves. Namely their lives.

I was now a fair distance away from those violent equines, perched on a dead tree. I had found myself in a large plot of land that held a vast number of dead plants, the occasional skeleton sprinkling the ground. I had originally thought that this was a dead forest, but a barn and some piles of broken and burned wood suggested otherwise. It seemed to actually be what was left of an orchard.

The trees that withstood whatever nuke that went off in the area were knocked down, wilted to a point of balsawood fraility, or was just a blackened husk of it's former self. The piles of wood probably used to be farmhouses, and were completely decimated, but it was the barn that caught my attention.

The old thing actually managed to withstand the catastrophe, and only had minimal damage compared to it's surroundings. Some beams were cracked and bent, sure, and huge holes punched through it, but it still stood strong, defiant of the apocolypse's unforgiving wrath. It impressed me, needless to say.

But that just brought up an avalanche of questions that seemingly had no answers. I rubbed my wounded shoulder, the stinging within still prevalent, as I thought about it. Why was I not a human anymore? Where did that portal send me? What happened to this place? What were those weird horses, and why were they so violent?

And the big kicker: would I ever find a way home?

Those questions, among a throng of others, plagued my mind, unrelenting in their curiosity.

At least I knew I was not on my world at all. Hell, I probably wasn't even in the same dimension. There was no denying just how... off and wrong everything was.

I did not have the time to dwell on it back then, but I had used a full blown pokémon attack on those animals. Without much remorse, might I add. This brought forth more questions, of course.

I couldn't help but feel sorry for those poor creatures, forced to live in a world they don't want to live in. A world where their selfish and horrible ancestors had no hesitation for leaving their problems for their children to solve. A world where they had to resort to violence and killing each other off, just because the actions of the past made a waste to their future.

My eyes widened when I remembered something. I hopped off of the dead tree, and began scoping out my surroundings, hoping to find something that would lead me back to those slave drivers.

It was stupid, I know, but I couldn't help it. Those jackasses had captured other ponies, forcing them to become their slaves. Who knows what horrors those armed horses would have caused if left to their own devices. But I wasn't about to let criminals get away from me.

About a half hour's walk away was a town. It didn't seem to fare very well against the Horsemen either, but at least a few buildings were left standing. I wasn't very wary of my surroundings, something which this wasteland would not let me go unpunished for. I heard something coming from the alley behind me, like a trashcan was nudged. Thank goodness I turned right when I did, or a bullet would have implanted itself within my neck. Instead, I got shot in my right arm. I cried out in agony, not forseeing the attack.

I heard someone cussing. I looked around in a panicked state, now knowing that standing right out in the open was not the best course of action. Against my better judgement, I dived into the alleyway, and out of any sniper's range.

I heard more cussing, signaling I was momentarily safe. A sigh of relief escaped my mouth, only to be cut short by something cold rubbing against my side. My eyes pointed in the direction of the object, seeing a sharp knife against my ribs. It seemed to be floating, like it was a possessed weapon. Or like a poltergiest had found me, and wanted to f with my head.

I rubbed my eyes, hoping that I was just seeing things. But the knife remained against me, carressing me with the brunt of it's blade. I was thoroughly confused when I noticed that it was wrapped in a dark purple aura, as if it was within a pokémon's Psychic. Only Psychic-types could levitate things, however, and their auras were always blue, not purple.

What happened next completely made me flip my lid. A pony came out of the shadows in a manner that was thoroughly creepy. It was a mare, and she had an unhinged smile adorning her face. I saw that another purple aura was coming from the female's forehead. But when she came close enough that I could see her entire body, she was revealed to have a horn.

So that meant she was a freaking unicorn. I was seriously questioning if I didn't just go crazy inside that machine, and that maybe I was just in some psychiatric ward.

The mare's horn was the purple light's source. I put two and two together and figured that she was using a form of Psychic on the knife.

That meant that I was in some serious danger now. I wanted to get out of there as quick as possible, but the knife stopped moving gently across my skin, resting right over my left thigh. The mare edged closer, giving me a seductive look. I cringed as she moved her way too close to mine, and breathed into my ear (or earholes, whatever).

She giggled smoothly, caressing my chest with her firm hoof. Arceus, it was creepy. "It's a good thing that Sharp Shooter didn't kill you. I wanted to have the immense pleasure of slipping my knife into you." She paused to calm herself. "I always liked the big boys. And you seem plenty big, mister."

OHHHHHHHHH, MY. This girl gets off on killing?! Dafuq?

I was pretty sure that this girl was about to have an orgasm, but she just looked at me, and gave me a madman's grin. I think you need a shrink, woman. Or maybe a straight jacket.

I screamed when a sharp pain entered my side, making my vision blurry and hard to see through. I didn't want to look, already knowing that this bitch had planted the knife in my thigh, and that blood was gushing out of the wound. I just glared at her, knowing that she was enjoying my pain and my screaming to a ridiculous degree. She closed her huge eyes, moaning in ecstasy. This mare had some serious mental issues, and it was time I added to that.

Grabbing the slender unicorn by her sides, I tossed her across the alley, making her smack against the opposing wall. The aura surrounding her horn diminished, halting the knife's progress into my leg. I groaned, feeling pain still coursing through my being. The mare was picking herself back up off of the ground, and seemed to be ready for round two. I decided to try and use Water Pulse again, seeing as how it was my only defense at the time.

This time around, I found it a lot easier to do than the first time. I didn't have to go total zen in order to use the move, but I still needed complete concentration. Luckily, I unleashed the move before the madmare could jump me. But I did not expect that a Water Pulse at point blank range would cause as much damage to the pony as it did. I struck her square in the chest, causing a stomach-churning dent in her body, and her front limbs were blown completely off her body. Her head suffered from severe whiplash, and her neck doubled over backwards in an unnatural position. And the force of the blast flung her against the wall, causing a large red splat of jam to spread behind her. And with that, the freak was gone.

I would normally be struggling to not barf at the gruesome sight I had caused, but my thigh kept my attention pretty preoccupied. I had to find something to cover my wound, or else I would be stuck with a knife in my leg, and I would slowly bleed to death. I had already lost enough blood to blur my vision. I desperately looked around the alley, hoping that there was something in there that would cover the gash. My eye finally laid themselves on the dead pony's body.

I had little hesitation in looting the corpse. She wouldn't be using them, anyhow.

I found some moldy rations, a water canteen with only a little bit of water left in it, some tattered gauze, and.... some unmentionable toys. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed hold of the knife, knowing I had to make it quick. I yanked out the blade, crying out all the while. I threw the weapon to the side, and swiftly used the liquid I acquired to clean out the wound as best I could. Then I wrapped the gauze tightly around my thigh, blocking off any more wayward blood.

Whimpering, I decided it was best to lean back against the alleyway walls for a few minutes. The breath I needed was slowly coming back, and I was starting to see clearly again.

I was still in agony, however. The first hour here in this hellhole, and I had already gained some wounds to commemorate my arrival. It sucked. This looked to be a bad omen of things to come.

I heard voices coming from outside the alleyway. More of these armored creatures had been alerted to my presence, most likely from me making so much noise. Great.

I groaned once again as I picked myself up off the ground, clutching my shot arm, and hobbled over to the way out. I was going to have to make a run for it.

"Well, ain't that just dandy." I snarked, "I become a rather powerful pokémon, and yet I'm still forced to run around like a chicken while these monsters take cheap shots at my ass." Shaking my head, I began my escape from Terror Town. "Those slaves better not try to kill me too when I find them."

Oh Lovely, Company.

Despite the throbbing pain in my limbs, I pressed forward, my desire to survive the day my only goal. I darted in and out of alleys, hoping that I wasn't catching the attention of my cruel tormentors. Every now and then, I heard one of them coming by, or saw their elongated shadow brushing against the crumbled walls of this ghost town. Every time I caught wind of their presence, I hid.

Sometimes I would find a large object that could shield such a large body like mine. But most of the time, I would have to rely on stealthy jumps and speed, perching above them or sprinting silently right under their noses the second they looked away.

This went on for the next half hour or so. I had no idea what time it was, so I was just guessing. But unfortunately, in a town populated by horses that want to kill you, it was only a matter of time before I was caught. It happened when a flimsy support beam jutting out of a barber shop's ruins that acted as my safe spot shattered under my weight, and I fell on top of one of the killers. Needless to say, the stallion was not happy with becoming my landing pillow.

I had only managed to escape being hunted down entirely because the sniper pony was the only one alive who saw me, and his comrades had a hard time believing him when he said that a giant blue frog had gone into that empty alley. But now more of these dicks would be on me within seconds, and eventually it would become Frog Hunting season. And there was no smart-ass bunny to use reverse psychology and have the whole thing just become a harmless gag when I got shot.

"U-umm..." I stuttered, picking myself up off the malicious male, "thanks?" I ran when he pulled out an assault rifle and took aim.

With the loud noise right behind me echoing off the crumbling walls, I was out of time and luck. They would be on me before I knew it.

Panicking, I made a run for it towards a beaten-up building made to look like a carousel. I dove through a shattered window and tried to catch my breath. Going through the window was quieter than using a door that was most likely loud and creaky from years of neglect and mis-use, and the bell that was attached to door would have made more noise. I almost wanted to take down the instrument, but I figured that these ponies would more likely than not use the door to get in, and it would alert me to any intruders.

I probably picked a bad place to momentarily rest, when I saw how these violent monsters decided to decorate the place.

The walls might've been quite elegant and pleasing to eyes at some point, but the crude graffiti painted in blood and other vile liquids made it difficult to tell. Definitely not good for market value. But that large intestine dangling from the ceiling is genuine and aged, and it really brings out the room!

Stop that, I scolded myself. I've been here for all of a few hours. There's no need to start saying or thinking delirious shit.

I explored the building, deciding that if I was going to book a night here, I might as well try to see what the place has stocked. After slowly opening a door that was marked with "Fuck Red Eye's cause!" in someone's guts, I found myself in what used to be the kitchen. Of course, the place was looted and stripped clean of food and supplies. Despite being sentient and capable of speaking English, these animals were just that: animals. They were feral, merciless, and listened to instinct a lot more than their conscience.

It's real eye-opening experiences like this that really put things in perspective. Back home, pokémon that lived in the wild were still way more civilized and sensible than these ponies. They never killed, they were mostly herbivorous, and really only did bad things when they had good reason to. Pokémon were good creatures at heart, but these... monsters had a hideous dark-side, and resorted to killing their friends, family, and any others who came near when they weren't absolutely content.

Kind of like humans.

I was upstairs, fucking around with an odd TV when I heard voices coming from the main floor. I stopped what I was doing immediately and tip-toed to a small hole in the floor that led to the entryway. Looking through it, I saw two more of the violent horses coming in. They were brownish stallions, one with a baseball bat that was covered in nails and sharp objects, and another with a sniper rifle that looked surprisingly intact compared to it's bent and warped friends.

The one carrying the rifle put down his gun to talk, since he had to hold it in his mouth. "So you think that tainted thing came into here?" The other horse only nodded, his spiked bat still in his maw. The first one shook his head. "I don't know. We haven't gotten any sightings of a strange creature within the past few hours." He paused. "Other than the occasional Bloat-sprite, of course. It could've snuck out of town by now."

What the hell is a bloat-sprite? A bug with an eating-problem?

The bat-pony spat out his club. "I don't think so. The bugger would have been spotted by now, and his head would be jelly. It's obviously just hiding somewhere in Ponyville, and we've been too stupid to find the thing yet." He paced around, giving the place a bemused glare. "That monster thinks it can out-smart us? Please, it'll be dead and gutted by tomorrow night. And we'll be dancing around it's carcass, savoring the taste of victory once again."

After foolishly picturing that thought and shuddering, the first stallion just looked around the room in a bored fashion. "Yeah, okay. And while you're prancing around like a zebra, I'll be getting it on with Thorny Rose." He smirked. "My beautiful rose..."

His friend groaned. "You two have been banging each other every night for the past two weeks, now. The whole town already knows, idiot. No need to be announcing it to the heavens every time."

He chuckled. "Maybe, but she's just that wonderful in be-" He paused when his gaze passed mine. Uh oh. I quickly moved away from the peep-hole, hoping he didn't notice anything.

"What?"

"I saw something in that hole. There's somepony upstairs, I think."

"I knew it!"

Shit.

As silently as I could, I looked around for a hiding place. Luckily, I was in someone's bedroom, and there was a big closet in there. I dove in, quietly shutting the door behind me. There was no lock, but that didn't matter at all. If they found out the door was locked, the ponies would most likely just shoot me through the door. So instead I backed my body up against a wall and waited.

The attackers didn't keep me waiting for long at all, judging by their loud and hurried hoofsteps up the stairs. They soon burst into the room, yelling profanities and ransacking the place for me. They soon stopped, and everything became quiet. They whispered to each other, but as a Greninja, I could still hear them clear as a bell.

"The closet's closed. The eavesdropper is probably in there."

"Well then, blast the thing!"

"We should check first. But we need to do it quietly so that they don't see us coming."

"Fine, just hurry up!"

The sounds of soft clops came from the other side, slowly becoming louder. I was doomed.

Why me? WHY? I hardly got to say goodbye to my home before I was thrust into this hellish landscape, populated with malicious creatures! Why couldn't it be someone else? And why ONLY me?! Why do I have to die? And why alone?! WHY-

The door opened, and the pony came in with his bat swinging wildly.

But there was nobody there to hit. Just tattered rags and ripped up horseshoes. The creature looked around for me in confusion, swearing out loud for not finding me.

"Did you find anything?" The rifle pony asked. The horse wielding the spiked bat shook his head, grumbling under his breath. He slammed the door shut in frustration. The two soon left the room, one laughing at the other's expense.

I sighed in relief, limbs trembling as they planted themselves to the surrounding walls. "And here I thought that hiding on ceiling, inches from the murderer's head only worked in the movies."

The TV was something else, being a strangely futuristic type of device. It was almost like a computer, but not quite so. Tinkering around with it was fruitless, due to needing a password to access the inner reaches of the machine. And since I had no idea what the password would be like, I just spouted random words that sounded nice.

I tried fancy words, because this torn-apart, ransacked pile of bricks looked like it might've been a classy boutique at one point. But the password was not one of high caliber, sadly. So then I tried clothing related terms, hoping that that theory would hold water.

It held water about as good as thin, soggy paper. I soon became bored and gave up trying. It wasn't long before I was typing incoherent shit.

Unicycle? Access denied.

Okay. How about chicken? Access denied.

Oh poo. Maybe kumquat kumquat kumquat? Access denied.

Aw. Apple, perhaps? Access granted. Welcome.

Gee, that's a surprise..... hey, that actually is a surprise!

With renewed vigor, I delved into the files that were perhaps not meant for the average horse to know. As I typed and touched away, my mind began to wander.

Back then it was only a thought, but now I have generated a tick where I rub my ridiculously long tongue. And oh man, that's something I wished I had back in the days I was on Earth. Gently caressing the piece of skin is both therapeutic in how it calms me, and it helps me focus and increase my mind's efficiency. It's a little dry, but smooth like glass, and softer than any scarf I've ever had. I think I may have a fetish, to be honest.

Running my hands across my tongue, I realized that this computer had nothing to offer me. Not that I'm saying that whatever these ponies put on there was of no worth, but that the files were all corrupted and un-salvageable. I sighed, chastising myself for thinking that I could glean some information, and gather some pieces to solve the puzzle that plagued this wasteland and my mind. It all seemed for naught.

Right before I gave up, however, I found something. It was an old file, in the early stages of corruption like it's ruined siblings, but still mostly intact. Smirking under my tongue-scarf, I looked into it.

It was an audio message, one that was apparently sent from Sweet Apple Acres. It didn't take Einstein to figure out that the area full of dead trees and a lone barn among large piles of wood and metal used to be that particular farm.

I gave a depressed sigh to the empty building. This land really was nice once, wasn't it? A land where you could have a nice, green, fertile patch of land to grow an orchard, and raise a family on a wholesome farm. And the sad thing was, there was nothing left to avenge. Whoever dealt the damage was most likely dead now, and their descendants killed off for the atrocities committed by their parents.

What's done is done, I told myself, and there's nothing left to do but find out what happened to cause such a disaster, and take the necessary measures to prevent such a thing from happening ever again.

I played the message, wondering what the sender had given to their friend. I didn't let the fact that this was something kind of personal I was breaking into without permission deter me from my objective.

The voice belonged to a female in her prime. It was delivered sweet and silky, a voice that was firm, but carried tones of gentleness along with it. She had a southern accent, but it suppressed in order to make the recording sound infinitely more serious.

“...special instructions for Stable Two... ...that’s muh family down there! Until the poison is gone from up here, that door doesn't open for anypony!”

Poison? Wait, what? No, they-

“...know you hate this, Sweetie Belle, but you’re an Overmare now. The Overmare of the most important Stable in all of Equestria. I need you to do this for me... ...to keep them safe... ...best friends forever, remember?...” The message ended after that.

Well, that's just dandy. I had just listened to someone's... oh, sorry, somepony's last wish. As sad as that is, I'm still not used to these stupid ponyisms, as Equestrians call it.

The recording was faded in a few spots, but I still got the message: dangerous toxins were released up here on the surface long ago. I was sitting on top of a graveyard of these creatures.

But what about these "Stables"? And Overmare? That must be a position of authority, judging by the name alone. So a mare named Sweetie Belle was ruler over a... stable?

I was puzzled over this Stable nonsense. I figured that in this desolate land, it had to be a bunker. It certainly explained how so many of them survived. It still made me wonder though...

The sky outside the grimy window became dark, signaling the night had finally arrived. The day had been spent, and I had officially stayed here in the post-apocalyptic landscape for an entire day.

Woo. Someone give me a medal.

I wondered if sleeping here was a good idea, considering how this place was rather out of place amongst the rubble. But seeing as how sneaking out before I had a chance to formulate a strategy was out of the question, it was best to rest and gather my energy for tomorrow.

As a trainer and vigilante, I can't tell you how frustrating it is to not have any sort of plan on the backburner. Nothing to fall back on but instinct. It was especially frustrating since acting on instinct seemed to be the norm around here. Nothing to really separate me from the other violent animals.

Needless to say, that thought scared me.

The best chance I had for sleeping safely in this building was to find a secluded spot, one that was preferably hidden.

I searched the place for something I could use as an effective hiding place. The downstairs was a bit too close to the entrance for my comfort, meaning that a spot upstairs was my best bet. So I began my little quest for a hidden bed.

After an hour of rather pathetic searching, I had made little headway in the ideal spot. I was about to give up on that idea, but the wasteland can sometimes give you a break, if you survive long enough. I remember contemplating if I could somehow sleep perched on the ceiling like a bat, when I saw a brief gleam on the ceiling in the walk-in closet. The shine was only for a second, but I saw it still, and it prompted me to climb my way over the walls and towards shiny object.

I did so slowly, just in case this was some sort of trap set by those trigger-happy equines. Luckily, it was not a trap, but in fact a dusty, grimy, old knob. Jiggling the knob a bit caused a little door to make itself known. It was cleverly hidden amongst the dust and a subtle paint job. After a firm tug, the door flung open. The only thing I could see for a few moments was a large cloud of dust and decay. Coughing, I waved my arms around in an attempt to clear the air.

I forgot momentarily that I was already using those arms to keep myself propped up on the walls. When I started to fall to the floor, I dug my webbed-feet harder into the parallel walls. This only caused me to flip upside down, my arms hanging uselessly down, and my legs far-apart, doing the splits. I groaned at my compromising position, thanking whatever gods that watched over these dead lands that nobody was here to see me.

After readjusting myself to the proper form again, I could finally see through the cloud of dust, and I was free to climb in.

A swift parkour demonstration later, and I was in. I crouched low to the floor, scanning my surroundings before I dared move. For all I knew, this place wouldn't be capable of holding my weight. From my previous classes involving Greninjas, the ninja frogs weighed from 80 to 90 pounds, depending on the diet and exercise they had. I just didn't know if this rickety old room could hold that much weight in one little area.

Another cool perk to being a Pokémon was I could look around my surroundings, and generate plans, ideas, and store away information for later in a matter of seconds. I could take one look at a designated spot, and tell you just about anything about that one spot to a degree that would almost scare you. All I needed was a few moments to just sit and do nothing but observe. Plus, I was part Dark-type, and Dark-types are very good friends with the night and dark spaces. My night vision allowed me to see better than most, despite the extremely poor lighting conditions.

Within a span of ten mere seconds, I knew that this attic space was sturdy enough for the most part, but I still needed to watch out for weaker boards that could shatter and crumble under my weight if I so much as breathed on it. A few holes in the roof were large enough to allow clouded-over moonlight to reach the inside. I would find sleep soon, but in my look-see, I spotted a small box that looked intact. The perch I had found would see me soon, but first I had to sate my curiosity.

Quietly closing the door under me and making sure it was secure, I prepared to gingerly tip-toe my way over. I stopped myself. Taking a look at my webbed-hand, I decided to try something else entirely. I smirked under my tongue-scarf, thankful that I had turned into one of the stealthiest creatures in existence.

In retrospect, I probably looked like a complete klutz compared to real Greninjas, but for a rookie, I didn't think I looked half-bad. I jumped, sprinted, somersaulted, slid, dove, bobbed, weaved, and stepped my way over to the box without causing a single board to break.

Taking a gander close up, the box looked like it had seen it's fair share of damage. It was grey and smooth, but completely and utterly burnt. The scorch marks were burned deep into the chest, and a great number of rotted holes and craters covered it. The lock was so old and beaten-up, a strong tug from my new muscles ripped it right off. With the barrier out of the way, I opened up the chest, wondering what awaited me inside the object.

The inside of the chest was completely untouched, and a soft velvet padding lined it. Obviously, whoever designed the box added multiple thick layers to ensure the contents inside would be safe.

Speaking of contents, I reached inside the chest, using both arms to dig around in the dark, wondering what would be inside the locked chest. My net-like hands finally grasped something, and I pulled it out for the world to see. I held the object above my head, trying to determine what the hell it could possibly be.

It was small, and red. It looked like an earpiece of some sort. The design looked vaguely like a Kalos pokédex, with red edges and a round blue center. Shrugging, I decided to put it on, seeing as how it's previous owner was probably dead in a ditch somewhere. There was even a chance he/she was pissed on a few times.

Whoa whoa WHOA. Jeez, where did that come from?! Cut that shit out, dude! It's been ONE DAY. Get a grip already.

After a few awkward moments of realizing I had no ear to clip it to, I settled on attaching it to the base of my yellow appendages sticking out the sides of my head. I tapped it, wondering if it still had salvageable parts. Not realizing I had tapped the middle circle, I jumped in surprise when I heard a faint hum, and the earpiece started talking to me.

Hello, Miss Rarity. Welcome back. It's been quite a while since your last usage. Busy?

The AI was speaking in a robotic voice, but it also held a southern drawl that sounded familiar. A moment to think and I remembered that it sounded a lot like the mare who recorded that message to Sweetie Belle. I felt a surge of guilt, knowing that was just stealing from dead beings with feelings, thoughts, and great intelligence.

Forgetting momentarily that I didn't speak their native language, I tried to respond. "Um, actually, I'm not Miss Rarity. I'm sorry, but you've got the wrong person."

The AI was confused by the unfamiliar language. Error. Language not recognized. Insufficient data.

I cursed. "Dammit, I forgot you horses don't speak pokélish!"

The AI, however, was not one to be deterred when faced with a new learning experience, as I soon discovered. Apologies, unknown user. Ah do not understand your speech pattern. Please wait a moment as Ah gather data. A faint chiming occured, as if it was loading something. Please speak these following words: Hello.

"Hello?"

Excellent.

"Excellent?"

Food.

"...Food."

Strategy.

"Strategy."

Government.

"Government..."

Goodbye.

"Goodbye?" Okay, what was this girl doing?

Thank you. Ah have now gathered sufficient data to process this new language. Please wait as Ah decipher the new information.

Process the new language? But wouldn't that mean...

It should take about 12 hours to complete this process. Entering sleep mode now. Goodnight, new user. And with that, my new buddy went silent.

I took off the earpiece, wondering what she meant by all that. Wait, should I refer to the AI as a she? Do I just call the thing an "it"? No, that would sound rude, considering how polite it seemed to me. Hey, why does it matter if I'm rude? She doesn't have feelings.... right?

....And how the fuck do these primitive horses have such futuristic technology?!

Contemplating my predicament seemed to be the only thing I did when I wasn't on the run. But when you have so many unanswered questions floating around in your mind, it's hard to think of anything else. I laid there, arms behind my head, and my legs crossed. I was laying on top of a particularly wide and large beam in the attic. It was sturdy enough to hold three of me, and a nice skylight peeked through a hole in the roof.

I sighed. Even if this was the fallout of a nuclear war, the cloud layer shouldn't be this thick and this consistent. No, something unnatural and odd was going on about that. That, I was sure of.

This land was depressing enough without the dangerous locals, I thought. Everything beautiful and pure was gone. Wiped out and destroyed by those irrational enough to consider a better alternative. I never liked nuclear stuff, anyway. We settled things just fine without that as a "last resort". Honestly, the outcomes were much better back before it was discovered.

And then there was me. I pulled out my hand. My blue, webbed, three fingered hand. I wasn't a human anymore. I was a pokémon. A creature that was destined to follow the beck and call of their trainer. If I ever got back home, who knows how quickly I'd be snatched up? A wild Greninja wouldn't last too long on his own without someone eventually catching him.

And my friends would never see me again. Oh, my poor buddies. Without a trainer of their own, they would be separated from each other, put up for adoption by the city. Trainers would come for them, and claim them without hesitation. And they would probably shake their heads, thinking I was a disgusting trainer for abandoning my pokémon to fend for themselves in the slums of the harsh city.

My eyes became wet. I did abandon them all. It didn't matter if it was against my will or not. I had left them by themselves, without a clue as to where their friend went. For all they knew, I was dead. I sniffled, a tear rolling down my face, my tongue getting a sensation of salty bitterness. Better I be dead than alive to face my horrible guilt.

I went to sleep, hoping that my depression would wear off in the morning. At least then there was a chance I could see my family all together one more time before they were taken from me.

"He's still asleep. What do we do?"

"I do not know, Celebi. The young one is obviously worn out from emotional and physical stress."

"Hey, I think he's coming to!"

I groaned in response. "Five more minutes, mom. I don't need two hours..."

"Very funny. Maybe a brighter light will wake you up! Dazzling Gleam!"

I did not expect the sun to become 300 times brighter, or to be aimed at my face. "GAH! MY EYES!" I rolled around on the floor, screaming as I pleaded with the gods to have mercy on me.

"Celebi, I don't think that was a good idea."

"Why not? He needed to get out of bed, right?"

"...But he's a Dark-type. You just used a super effective move on him."

"Yeah, that was kind of the point." I was still whimpering on the ground, scrambling around in a dazed heap. "I just didn't expect him to be such a baby about it." I remember a giggle, though it's possible that was just my angry imagination.

"That was the first attack ever used on him. I'd imagine he would be disoriented by a Fairy-type move."

I gasped, struggling to open my burning eyes. I eventually succeeded, but I still felt like my entire face was singed by the sun. I was glad to be on the ground still, because when I looked up, I saw three legendaries staring right at me. I froze, my mind processing the image. Dialga, Palkia, and Celebi were just a few feet away from me. We were all on a stone platform floating in a white expanse, void of anything. I was still a Greninja, lying in a heap on the floor.

Dialga started speaking to me telepathically. "Hello, Miles. We have been expecting you."

Author's Note

DUN DUN DUN.

So sorry for taking forever to update, guys! PLEASE FORGIVE ME, SENPAI!

But you know, life and stuff. I'm just glad I got this out now. But alas, who knows when my next update will be?! Hopefully next week, but who knows? You can all berate me if a new chapter isn't out by next Sunday. Please do, I need the motivation.

But honestly? You guys and your positive responses to my side-story was what prompted me to keep going! Thank you all so much for your support! If I wasn't a low-voiced guy, I'd probably be squealing. But I'm a guy, and I still have Man-standards.... though a lot of that has been thrown away since I joined the brony fanbase. Oh well! See you guys next time!

I'm Seriously Surprised I Didn't Zone Out Here

"Is it hot in here? It's really hot in here, where's the window? Oh, wait, no window. HOOOOOO, boy! It's really quite toasty in this white void, isn't it? Well, whatever, I can tough it out! I actually kind of like hot places! I get all sweaty and stuff and all that and this and you know. Stuff. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"

I slapped myself to regain my senses, realizing how big of a fool I was being.

STOP, DUDE. Get a grip! I took a deep breath, readying myself for another go at it. "SO-AHERM-so, um, hi?" I squeaked, voice cracking at multiple points.

"This human amuses me. Dialga, say something regal again," Palkia spoke to his brother. It didn't sit too well with me that they were more than happy to toy with me.

"Apologies, but that would be most unwise, brother." The Pokémon of Space lowered his head in disappointment.

Celebi rolled her eyes at the two. "Sorry about that, Miles, but we needed to speak with you, and your... unstable location would be too sketchy. To be frank, you probably wouldn't have seen morning."

Unstable? I thought to myself, More like COMPLETELY BATSHIT INSANE DANGEROUS.

Celebi floated around me slowly, continuing to speak to me through her projected thoughts. "I'm sorry for not finding you sooner, but you have to understand, we have been far too busy to instantaneously notice a single blip on our theoretical radars."

I crossed my arms, slowly regaining my nerve. "Um, excuse me, but WHAT could possibly be going on where every legendary is too busy to notice that I've been flung into another world, OR that my anatomy has been completely changed?"

They looked as if they were about to answer, but I wasn't done yet. "WHAT could POSSIBLY be more important than me being thrown into one of the most dangerous places I've ever even heard of?" My anger was growing faster, my rant getting louder in volume the more I spoke. "Why are you just LEAVING me to die in this... THIS ROTTEN HELL while the rest of you are just fine?!"

"Miles, please," Celebi started. I was not ready to listen to them though. I was just getting started.

"WHAT happened to my pokémon, huh? Where are they?! Are they safe? Do they think I'm dead?!" They gave me sorrowful looks, pitying my condition, obviously. "Well, THEY WOULDN'T BE TOO FAR FROM THE TRUTH!" I displayed my wounds to them all, forcing them to gaze upon their mistake. "Scars! BATTLE SCARS! And guess what?! I'M A POKéMON TOO! FUN, RIGHT?!"

I was stomping around, looking like a raving lunatic, probably. "HOW WAS THAT MEETING?! 'HEY, GUYS. WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF WE PICKED SOME RANDOM TRAINER AND CHANGED HIS ENTIRE PHYSIQUE?!' I wheeled right around to their shocked faces. "Yeah, I KNOW it was you guys! That machine had nothing to do with that transformation, did it?!"

Dialga was not pleased with the current situation. "We admit we changed your anatomy ourselves, but we assure you-"

"NO!" I blurted out. "NO, I WILL NOT BE ASSURED! You know why?! BECAUSE YOU ALL CHANGED MY ENTIRE LIFE NOW! YOU KNEW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, AND YOU WERE TOO FUCKING "BUSY" TO DO JACK SHIT ABOUT IT!" I was ready to explode by that point, all of my frustration and insecurities rushing out into the form of rage.

"WHAT'S sooo friggen time-consuming that I'm forcibly abandoning my closest friends and family, ALL BECAUSE SOME ROCKET GRUNTS ARE SUCH BIG ASSHOLES THAT THEIR BRAINS ARE PERMANENTLY LODGED UP THEIRS, AND SENTENCED ME TO DIE IN SOME JOKE HELLHOLE?!" My anger had reached a boiling point, and I was ready to engage them all. "WHAAAT?!" I screamed with all my strength, trembling in anger.

I took a knee, my shoulders shaking and my head spinning. "WHAT?! HUH, WHAT?" I started breaking down, my strength leaving me as my voice began to lower its volume. "What's so important.... that I nearly died?! With no protection left for my family? What?..." My explosive fury was turning into crushing sadness, the tears that came afterward rolling down my shameful face. "What....what....." I was sobbing, my hand reaching up to cover my face.

Oh Arceus, what am I doing? I just yelled at the legendaries after they rescued me...

I'll admit, this isn't the first time I've brushed with deadly forces, and narrowly avoided death. But so many instances where all it would've taken was a single thing, a slight twitch, a single roll in the wrong direction, one less second to move, and BOOM: death in one day was too much to take at that point.

All of the past times were that happened, and I narrowly escaped the grip of death, they came to the very front of mind, in full force. I was paralyzed on that floor, unable to look at the generous pokémon that actively came looking for me the moment they knew I wasn't there.

I was still crouched there on the floor, with my entire frame trembling, when I felt a gentle touch on my arm. I looked up, my eyes still overflowing with sadness, and I saw Celebi there. She looked hurt, and sorrowful. She felt bad, I knew. And I was to blame.

I couldn't respond with words at all at that point, and just leaned into a gentle embrace. "Oh, the poor thing. Guys," She addressed the two brothers of time and space, "he's a wreck. Everything that just happened to him must be catching up to him."

The god of time sighed mentally, his imaginary exhale echoing through my mind. "It seems so, Celebi. While we can heal his physical form, his mind will take time to heal. Time I can't give him."

So, after my meltdown in front of the three pokémon that kept the time stream intact, I had finally recovered enough to listen properly to the beings.

I sighed, letting an involuntary shiver escape my system. "Sorry, Dialga, Palkia, Celebi. I don't know what came over me. I really should be thanking you for coming to get me when you did."

It is not your fault, young Miles," Palkia reassured me. "The circumstances you found yourself in were forced upon you, and that's not acceptable."

I shrugged, not sure how to react to that. "I guess since you guys were able to transform me into a pokémon, you might've been responsible for sending me there." I looked into their sorrowful eyes. "But I should know better than to think you guys wouldn't have anything better to do than to leave me in hell."

The two larger pokémon among us turned their gazes to each other, having a silent but clear conversation that I couldn't interpret. Dialga gave me a look out of the corner of his eye when he was done. "Er, your predicament... while not our faults entirely... it was by our help that you landed where you did."

If I had ears, they most certainly would've perked up at that bombshell. "What?"

"You see, while that machine was a teleportation device, it would've put you someplace on Earth still if we hadn't intervened." Celebi began, "We were planning on making a movement, of sorts, which would've required transporting lots of creatures. You were one of those creatures, but... the spell we cast mixed with that portal, and created a reaction that we could never plan for."

Celebi continued after a pause. "We, the legendaries, have just had their first meeting with all of the members together in one place. And during that meeting, Arceus came to a conclusion."

"Wait, hang on." I stopped her right there, my brain still not processing something. "Arceus? The Arceus? The pokémon that started life on earth and created the legendaries to keep our oceans and lands and weather and time and space and everything in check?" The three of them nodded.

I smiled. "He's really back..."

"Yes, and we were very happy to see him again as well." Palkia put in.

Celebi continued where she left off. "Yeah, so that conclusion was this: some humans have caused things to go way out of control. Team Rocket, Team Magma, Team Aqua, Team Snagem, The Siphers, Team Galactic, Team Plasma, Team Flare... the amount of criminal organizations in the world has become too big. And something needed to be done about it."

"But all of those crime teams you just listed off are either disbanded entirely or have converted into causes for the benefit of the world. Team Plasma has turned into a legitimate cause that truly thinks for pokémon, even going so far as to fight with the other half that wanted to harm us."

"Team Aqua and Magma have also turned into good causes, recently. Team Aqua has become as heroic team of trainers and pokémon who fight off pirates and defend the innocent, while Team Magma has been turned into a research organization that is looking for beneficial energy sources out in the deserts and harsh areas of the world."

Dialga gazed at me with his emotionless, regal stare. "And while that is commendable, we are afraid that their efforts are not enough in comparison to the rest."

"So, we decided that we needed to move the pokémon somewhere else." Celebi finished.

I blinked. "Somewhere else? But, where? I don't know of anywhere on Earth where they could all be secluded."

"You misunderstand. They are not to stay on Earth anymore." Dialga stated.

I was in shock, to say the least. Not on Earth? Then where? Mars?!

As if reading my thoughts, Palkia added, "We moved the pokémon to another world. One where they could finally live in peace and harmony."

"...s-so, where is it?"

"It is known as Equus, a planet populated by many different creatures and animals. The dominant race, however, are known as ponies."

I froze. That description sounded eerily like where I just was. "Do they talk?" They nodded. "Do some of them have horns?" They nodded again. I was starting to feel woozy. "W-was that where I...I just was?" Another nod, and I was barely off the ground.

Who knows where my friends are at? They're pokémon, so by deductive reasoning, that meant they were on this Equus, and there were no humans around to guide them.

Celebi floated over, and steadied me, a reassuring smile on her face as she did so. "Don't worry. Your friends aren't in the post-apocalyptic wasteland as you might think. They are safe and sound... for the most part."

"What the hell does that mean?!" I almost yelled.

"It means that they are in another timeline all together. A timeline where this war never happens, and the inhabitants are all, for the most part, peaceful equines with caring hearts." Her smile wavered. "However, they aren't as receiving to our sudden arrival as we had hoped. Some are even doing things to them that could end very badly."

I inhaled, calming myself. Now that I knew that they were all safe, I didn't see any need to worry as much. The question that sprung forth in my mind made itself known, though. "Well, jeez. You gave them a call beforehand, didn't you?"

To my surprise, all three of them looked away at something that was suddenly very interesting. My irratation began to show again. "You contacted them before you moved the pokémon, right? Let them know that you were coming?" They refused to respond, hoping that I would leave the subject alone.

I was NOT about to indulge them. "So you all just showed up and plopped all the pokémon of the world onto their world without permission or forewarning at all?!" They finlly looked back at me, and embarrasment was written all over their wonderous faces. I jerked my hands away from Celebi, choosing to stomp a few paces away. "Idiots! Of course they're not going to respond well to that! I don't give two flying Fearows that Arceus is some god! You still ask, jackass!"

Dialga cleared his throat in my mind. "Not to insult our father, but he was never too perceptive of everything. Things like that slip his mind more often than not."

"We didn't catch something as important as that either. Mostly because we were too happy to finally see our father again after what felt like an eternity." Palkia chimed in.

Celebi sighed. "But it's too late to fix that now, I'm afraid."

Says the being capable of time travel.

"Hopefully, with time, they will warm up to us."

"So, since you moved all the pokémon from our world, what happens to the humans now? You're gonna leave them to die or something?" I huffed.

Celebi looked hurt. "Well, technically, a fraction of the pokémon had to stay because of their loyalties to the dark side..." She inhaled, "We also had to move some humans as well."

My attention was caught. I continued to stare at her, silently asking her to go on with my eyes. "Our original plan was to just move the pure hearted individuals who would never willingly hurt their pokémon or family for anything. We turned those select humans into pokémon as well, in forms that would suit them best. And while their numbers were greater than we expected, we still decided to move them." Pausing, she looked at me. She had a perplexing look on her features. A look I couldn't really understand.

"But, while moving active heroes who chose to stave off the evils of the world by their own accord... People like N, the champions, Ash, good Team members, Spinarak Man... and you, to name a few, we realized something: it would truly be unkind to leave the innocent people behind without any defense from their evil superiors. Good people like you worked so hard to save these people, and to basically waste all of your hard work by leaving them to die anyway would be... cruel."

My stunned silence allowed Palkia to say something that would send me sprawling. "The amount of estimated pure people to be moved had already passed a fourth of our world's population. But with the inclusion of innocent people, the amount moved is now three-fourths."

"THREE FOUR-" I nearly fainted, my resolve and curiosity the only things keeping me conscious. "Th-th-that's a b-big numb-ber." I decided to only release enough breath to say that, in fear I would lose all of it and pass out.

"It is," Dialga replied, "it was a greater amount than we ever guessed." He gazed at me, annoyance quickly sliding across his face. "Your detour didn't make matters any easier, young Miles." I chuckled sheepishly in response.

"We must truly thank you, for showing us what would've happened if we left those poor humans to die at the hands of the criminals of the world." Celebi smiled again. "But, since we were taking three times as many people as we intended, we needed someplace to put them without over-populating Equus, and thus crowding out the original inhabitants."

Dialga and Palkia looked at each other again, then turned their attention back to me once more. "To fix this problem, we devised a solution that would leave plenty of room for both world's species." Palkia started.

I was not sure if I really wanted to know what that solution was, in fear I really would pass out that time. But I steeled myself, telling my mind that whatever they were going to say couldn't possibly top 3/4ths of my world being moved to some alternate planet where the population was mostly ponies. "And that is?"

"We deposited half of the fraction we took in a mirror dimension of Equus."

Never mind. I was out like a light.

"Miles..." I heard my mother's beautiful voice call, "Miles, come here, please..." She beckoned me closer, my heart yearning to feel her gentle touch, and to relish it for eons. I obeyed my sweet mother's wishes, and came to her bedside.

"Yes, mommy?" I heard an eight-year-old's voice coming from my throat, one full of innocence and wonder.

"I just wanted to see my boy before I left, that's all. Nothing more." She smiled that amazing smile of hers. A smile that could brighten up any day, and wash away all of your worries and fear. It was something that only a mother could do, and it was one of the best parts of her.

A big, goofy grin was plastered on my face. "You're really sweet sometimes, mommy." I looked out the window, some grey clouds encroaching on the pristine blue sky. They threatened to turn a bright and sunny day into a gloomy and wet one. My smile started to fade as I looked outside. "Do you really have to go? Can't you stay just a little longer? For me?"

My mom gave me a faint smile. "I wish I could, muffin, but... sometimes, people have to leave much earlier than they want to. And mommy is one of those people." She held out her hand, offering the soft, warm touch of a healthy and energetic mother. "I have to go soon, muffin. They're waiting for me."

I took her hand, squeezing softly. My eyes were welling up with tears as I felt her grip beginning to slip away from mine. "Don't go..." I whispered.

"I'm sorry, Miles. But you'll see me again soon. Just you wait..." I heard a knock on the bedroom door, and a man was asking for my mother.

She coughed, and the entire room seemed to change. Everything that represented the innocence and warmth of home began to change back to it's true form. The bedroom morphed into a hospital room. It was cold and sterile, and the skies outside the window were overcast, and it was a storm out there.

The door opened, revealing a doctor with a clipboard and a sad face. " Mr. Miles... I forgot you were visiting today." He gazed away, a knowing look on his aged features.

I turned back to my mother. She was no longer the healthy, gorgeous, and warm figure I grew up to adore. She was sickly and frail, completely bald, and she was shivering slightly. Her hand wasn't something out of a magazine anymore. It looked like death came by and smacked her hand. I didn't care, ultimately. In my mind, she would always be beautiful.

Her eyelids were growing heavy, the nearby machine's unsettling beeps growing in speed and pitch. "Miles... muffin... I love you, okay? Never-" She cooughed again. " -never forget that..."

My hands, no longer belonging to a young boy, but a grown teenager, were trembling. "I...love you too, mom." My eyes were shut tight, tears still streaming out of them. My teeth were clenched, and my voice cracked and choked up.

".....never forget....."

The machine hooked up to her stopped giving out multiple beeps, and only a singular, flat sound came out of it.

"Ugh.... man, I...." I sniffled. "I hate that dream...." Sighing, I picked myself up out of bed... only to find out that I wasn't in bed at all. I was still on the beam in the boutique's attic, and when I hopped off, I fell down to the floor. As if to insult me, fate decided that I would land facefirst.

"Ouch." I picked myself up off the floor, and brushed off the dust and broken pride clinging to my body. Looking around, I saw that while I was still in the attic, all of the holes and weakened areas were gone. It was as if this building were brand new. "Okay," I said to myself, "That's weird. I need to see what's going on here."

I slowly crept to the exit, still wary of any dangerous ponies that might be onto my position. The door creaked open, and my head slowly lowered itself down. I analyzed my surroundings, concluding that yes: the closet was very dark. And hopefully safe.

Eventually, I lowered my entire body down from the hole, and shut the trapdoor behind me. I finally got to the closet door, and gulped in anticipation for what might lay right outside.

Inhaling deeply, I opened the door, expecting a bunch of armed horses to be ready to fire.

All I got was some classy girl's bedroom.

I blinked. It was as if this entire building were brand-new. But, that couldn't be the case. Just yesterday, this place was barely standing, and now it was an aristocrat's dreamhouse? The situation didn't make any sense at all to me.

I sighed loudly. I wished that the legendaries would've at least gave me a heads-up if they sent me back in time of something.

I perked up at the thought. I pondered over it, thinking that the theory might actually hold water. But...

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! HELP!!!"

OH ARCEUS, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

"DIDN'T ANYPONY EVER TEACH YOU NOT TO BREAK INTO A LADY'S BEDROOM?!" I turned around, and my face paled. Or did it? Can Greninjas pale? I don't know, but it FELT like it.

A white mare with a gracious purple mane was screaming her head off at me, having just broken into her private quarters. The situation did look really bad.

"Well, this is where I run now. Bye-bye!" I took off, running out the door and down the stairs, cursing every single legendary for their cruel sense of humor as the white pony chucked beauty products at my head.

Author's Note

I did it! I got it up by the weekend! Sort of!

I would've had the chapter up sooner, guys, but I had family to visit down south, and that ate up my weekend, and sentimental stuff like that. Gotta love the family!

And yes, this chapter is pretty much just exposition up the ass, but... hey, at least our hero has some light shed on the sitch! Plus, the Non-Canon stuff can all happen in it's own singular universe while also not affecting the canonical universe! And it doesn't mess up Zeus's canon because... IT'S NOT CANON! WOO!

Sorry Zeus. Heh heh... I'm gonna leave now.

Panic in Ponyville

If I had a narrator that narrated my adventures, he would most likely say something along the lines of:

When we last left our hero, he had been transported to what looked like a peaceful version of the dangerous Equestrian Wasteland. He's relatively safe, for now. However, the inhabitants are not happy with Arceus's irrational thinking, which caused the pokémon of Miles' world to be moved to Equus, a new world full of potential.

Now in a world filled with sudden chaos and fear, our hero must find familiar faces if he is to keep his sanity intact. But first, he must escape the wrath of a lady with her privacy invaded...

Yeah, that sounds about right, imaginary voice in my head.

"GET BACK HERE, YOU... SCOUNDREL!!" The white pony shouted behind me. Looking over my shoulder, I caught a quick glimpse of my pursuer. It only took one second, however, before I snapped my head straight, shivering. You couldn't pay me to look back again.

I had never seen such... fury or fire in the eyes before. Looking at the mare's furious eyes was like glancing at hell itself. It was never meant to be seen by mortals...

After flinging a can of hairspray at my head, she kept berating me for my rudeness. "YOU RUFFIAN! STOP NOW SO I CAN GIVE YOU A FITTING PUNISHMENT!" She tossed a hairbrush at me.

I pathetically shielded my head from the beauty products assaulting me, and I attempted (and failed) to express my regret for the situation. "I'm so sorry, lady! I didn't know you lived there! I swear, just yesterday the place was in shambles! Not that I'm insulting your home or anything! It's really quite- OW- lovely!"

"I have no idea what you're saying to me... Greninja, but if you're trying to apologize to me, then do it TO MY FACE!" Some weird gel was catapulted towards my rear end at that. It didn't occur to me until later that the mare was a unicorn, and that she was using her 'magic' to telekinetically throw her belongings at my defenseless form.

"I'M SAYING I AM SORRYYY!" Another hairspray can landed forcefully on the back of my cranium. "OUCH! Watch it, lady! You could put someone's eye out with that kind of strength! OW!"

The ponies and pokémon alike were gaping at the comedic scene unfolding before them. Pokémon snickered and shook their heads at me, knowing all too well what hell awaits when you get a female pissed off at you. The ponies, who couldn't understand my side of the conversation either, still got the gist of the situation at hand.

It continued for what felt many agonizing hours... but in actuality, it was merely forty-five minutes. But it was the longest forty-five minutes of my life!

...Okay, that's a lie. But I'm not about to divulge any information on that horrible third-grade play. But enough dirt on Mrs. Terwilliger's bad directing skills, I'm telling a story on how I was assaulted by hair products by a white unicorn pony.

Sometimes I worry for my sanity, did I ever mention that?

I knew what had to be done. There was only one course of action to take in order to escape my doom. I had to lose her.

Benny Hills-style.

With the theme seemingly playing out of nowhere, I shifted gears and sprinted away from my pursuer. At the time, I just assumed that the tune was merely in my head, and not being played for all to hear from some unknown force. That was something I later learned was not the case.

I led her on a wild goose chase all around town. When she was looking for me by that gingerbread house, I was at the dentist's down the street. When she was at the dentist's down the street, I was at the quiet little cafe a few blocks down. When she was at the quiet little cafe a few blocks down, she almost followed me to the dance club across town, until a grey mare with a bowtie and british accent (I didn't even know that was a thing here) pointed her towards the fountain where I actually was.

She cornered me at the fountain, catching me off guard, but I still kept going. I had nowhere to run to without her knowing about it, so I desperately ran circles around the fountain. It was a goddamn merry-go-round. I don't know which would've happened first if we didn't stop: collapse from exhaustion, or hurl. Luckily, she was so fixated on running around and around and around and around and around and-

"HUH?!" I heard her say. She was wondering how I suddenly vanished from existence. In reality, I had ducked into the fountain. Thank Arceus I was a water-type, because I'm pretty sure I couldn't hold my breath that long after that work-out.

She left the area for a moment, which gave me just the right amount of time to leave the fountain and hide somewhere else.

A minute later, I was sitting on a park bench next to a minty-green unicorn mare. She was sitting... a lot like a human. I didn't dwell on it as I thumbed through the newspaper, wondering if every team in the universe known as "The Colts" were horrible. The white doom-bringer stomped up to me, and asked me if I saw a giant blue monster run by here.

I lowered the comically large paper from my face, revealing my ingenious disguise of a fedora and over-sized black mustache. She didn't recognize me as I pointed in the exact opposite direction I intended to go, indicating where the one she was after went that way. She thanked me and started galloping in that direction, before she came to an abrupt halt, kicking up dirt in the process. Damn, should've known that wouldn't have worked. She shot a death glare at the spot I was just at a second ago, but I was not there. It was just a dust cloud and a pathetic disguise floating down in it's wake as I ran for my life the other way.

The angry pony and I found ourselves in a part of town where the houses were a little too close for fire safety reasons, but was perfect for dashing in and out of their doors all over the place like a damn cartoon. Don't ask me why the inhabitants left all of the doors unlocked, or why they didn't freak out when a nearly five-foot blue frog and unhinged unicorn ran straight through their kitchen and out the side door.

That shit went on for a few minutes, after we finished dashing in and out and in and out again so fast that I could've sworn there were three clones of us running around, and a pink pony riding a Sharpedo on a unicycle joined in on the fun for a second. I ended when I collided face first into the last person-er-pony I wanted to see.

She was surprised for a moment, but her eyes went from confusion to murderous almost instantly. She was floating that can of hairspray dangerously close to my eyes, so tried to think of something.

I'll admit, I'm not the fastest thinker, so there was only one solution I could think of, and it would only buy me a few seconds at most before she got even angrier. But I didn't hesitate when she popped the lid off the can.

I kissed her.

I made a dramatic MMMMMMMWAH! as I did it, then bolted right out of her face. I probably made Bugs Bunny proud there.

END MUSIC

After that goof fest, the two of us were nearing an odd tree. It seemed to be a perplexing mish-mash of a scholar's laboratory, a library, and a large oak tree. Despite it's surprisingly warm exterior, I couldn't help but possess a foreboding feeling towards the tree. Maybe it existed in my subconscious, a brief glimpse of the plant in my memories. Perhaps I had seen it before?

Before that train of thought could leave the station, however, I felt all of my limbs lock up instantaneously. I was frozen in place, for lack of a better term for it. Caught in mid-run. I probably looked goofy in the pose, but at the moment I was caught off guard, and scared out of my mind.

I didn't want someone to push the pause button on me. I still had an angry woman pursuing my ass!

I tentatively turned my head over my shoulder, praying that I wasn't stuck right where she wanted me, and hoping that if she was, she would at least be quick about my death. To my astonishment, the mare was frozen in place as well. The female in all of her disheveled glory was surrounded by a horrifyingly familiar purple aura, upset that she was interrupted in giving me judgement.

For a moment, I panicked. I don't know if I got one too many hairbrushes to the noggin, or I was still a little tired myself from my rude awakening, but I honestly thought that the mad-mare had come back from the dead, and somehow followed me to this overly-bright town.

NO NO NO NO NO! NOT HER! I'd rather be brutally beaten by the white girl than be part of some psychopath's sick fetish! Hey, in my mind it didn't sound racist, so shut up...

Shifting my gaze around the vicinity, I located the source of the telekinetic intervention. I relaxed when I saw the source was not the killer mare, but a... purple unicorn with wings. Dammit, I'd be more relieved if this world would just stop throwing insane things at me!

The purple pony, which was (surprise, surprise, surprise) yet another mare, levitated the white unicorn towards her while keeping me pinned in place. "Rarity?" She spoke, "What's going on? Why is all of Ponyville in a panic? We just calmed things down!"

Panic? Is standing around and gawking at me considered panic? I spared a glance to the rest of the population of this small town. To my surprise, they were running around and screaming, pony and pokémon alike. Oh. Nevermind...

This seemed to just register with Rarity as well, as she saw the commotion happening through shocked eyes. "Oh dear... I GREATLY apologize, darling! I had no idea that brute and I made such a mess!"

The purple unicorn with wings set her friend down with a sigh. "And here I was finally starting to feel like I'm being helpful as a princess."

AND a princess on top of all that. Sure, WHY NOT?

Rarity looked at her right in the eyes, conviction heavy in her voice. "Oh no no no, Twilight! This is not your fault at all. You had everything under control before we scared everypony else!" She smiled sheepishly. "The fact that you even calmed all of Ponyville down somewhat within a day just goes to show how great you actually are."

Princess Twilight gave the white unicorn a small smile. She sighed again, but without as much sadness this time. "Yeah, I guess you're right, Rarity. I have to be good at something, right?"

She turned towards me, her tone shifting once she got an eyeful of me. "So Rarity, who's your friend here, anyway?"

Rarity's face grimaced when the topic went in my direction, and I wasn't too comfortable with being levitated closer to the two girls to get a better look. I gulped as she disdainfully narrowed her eyes. "This gentleman here was caught sneaking into my bedroom, and standing far too close to my bedside to be considered legal."

The purple princess scrunched face. "Is this true...erm... may we call you "Greninja" for now?" I shrugged, not really knowing an alternative seeing as how she still had yet to put me down.

"Okay, Mr. Greninja, is what Miss Rarity said true?"

I thought for a moment. No, not really. I didn't sneak in so much as teleport in. And how was I supposed to know somebody was living here? Last I remember, this entire world was in shambles! Come to think of it, where am I? This couldn't really be the same world, right? It just doesn't make any sense.

But, if we're being technical here, I sort of snuck into the boutique, but that was a completely different scenario, and it was in the fucking "Twilight Zone" version of this place! Arceus, I'm so confused...

My head had too many question marks floating around inside to make sense of the situation, so I opted for just shrugging. It was a better idea than nodding or shaking my head, at least.

"You don't know? What do you mean, you don't know?" Princess Twilight questioned. Okay, so maybe it wasn't a better idea. "If you don't know, than do you at least have an explanation as to what you've been doing all this time while the other Pokémon have already made themselves known?"

Dammit, quit putting more questions in my head and just give me answers, woman!

At this point, she put me down, ready to question my intentions. I decided that if I wanted that metaphorical "Get out of jail free" card, I needed to fess up. Taking a deep breath, I told my entire story to the two of them. I didn't care if it sounded insane, I needed to get it off my chest.

I opened my mouth, information gushing out in waves as I spoke. And I shall quote Rarity here as how she heard it: "Greninja gre ninja gre gre nin gre ja grenin jagren greninja. Ninja gre ja gre gre ninja gre ninja ja. Greninja ninja nin JA gre gre ja nin grej!" This sctick continued for the next five minutes or so, and I talked as vividly and clearly as possible. I even added in exaggerated hand gestures to go along with my speech. "GRE NIN JA!" I sighed loudly, having finally made my defense for accidentally wandering in on a lady's private quarters.

Two mares deadpanned, their faces telling me that my explanation was not clear. I was silent for a moment, wondering if what I said was too crazy to understand. Then my eyes widened as I smacked my face. Of course they didn't understand it, idiot! There's a one-way language barrier here!

A minute of an awkward silence fell over us. My face was red, and their's were blank.

"Well..." Twilight finally said, breaking the silence with a slightly sarcastic tone, "that sure clears things up."

"Grenin..." I halfheartedly replied, not even bothering to actually say something in pokélish.

Rarity giggled softly. "Your words, darling, not mine!" The princess next to her stifled a giggle.

I crossed my arms and glared at them.

"Okay, okay, we're sorry." Twilight responded with a sheepish grin, "But seriously, I can't understand a word you say without a Psychic-type to translate, Mr. Greninja. I just don't know where the nearest one went, so I'm afraid your story will have to be told again some other time."

It suddenly occurred to me that I had no idea how these ponies even knew what a pokémon was, or how the panic that would ensue could be taken of so quickly. If a Psychic-type could make it's way into the picture, however, than so many things could be cleared up.

Every psychic-type I know has the ability to communicate telepathically with anyone, which seems to include ponies. Which meant that if I ever found a Psychic-type, then talking to the inhabitants of the new world I'm on would be possible.

Rarity cleared her throat, reminding me that she wasn't finished with me yet. I gulped before I turned to face her, ready to accept fate and go down like a man.

"Well, Mr. Greninja, we still have the issue at hand to solve. And if what you said was any sort of explanation for yourself... then I suppose I could let you go if you apologize."

I blinked. She wasn't seriously going to let me live, was she? The unicorn had the murderous glint in her eye not ten minutes ago!

I did not want to squander this opportunity to make up with somebody I pissed off. I nodded, and held out my hand. I tried not to think about how it was a weird Greninja hand, with only three fingers and how it was webbed as she placed her surprisingly pristine hoof in it. We shook... appendages, due to neither of us having actual hands, just front feet accustomed to things like this. I then stood up straight, and bowed as a sign of sincerity.

I'm grateful for peaceful times like this, because it's then that I can take note of details that would escape me at times I'm fighting for my life. I say this because I noticed that I stood about a foot taller than the ponies at full height, yet my normal stance (a ready crouch) was half of that, meaning I usually had to look up at the equines.

Weird.

Princess Twilight smiled. "I'm glad that you two were able to work out your differences. Rarity," She turned to face her friend, her smile turning into a sheepish one, "You should probably go and fix yourself up a bit."

Rarity tilted her head. "Whatever do you mean, darling? Do I not look my best?"

Twilight silently opened a window from her house with her magic, and levitated a hand mirror over to her. The diva looked into the glass, and immediately had a look of absolute horror. She ws quiet for a few moments, staring unblinking at the object before-

"AHHHHHHHHH!!"

The pony sprinted away at a speed I didn't even know was physically possible, running towards her not-so-humble abode in a panic.

I only stared in awe at the over-dramatic display of self-consciousness while the princess sighed once again. "Poor Rarity. She always works so hard to maintain a gorgeous image..." she said almost to herself. She looked at me, her nose scrunching. "And Mr. Greninja?" I looked at her back. "Maybe you should go apologize to the other citizens for scaring them all."

My gaze shifted back towards the rest of the town. Pokémon and ponies were still panicking, but they were somewhat calmer now. I groaned audibly as I went to go find a stick to write in the dirt with. No sense in going over to say I'm sorry if they don't understand what I'm doing in the first place, right?

Dammit...

Author's Note

So sorry for the long wait and unsatisfying update, guys. I have no excuses...