Well, that just happened

by RadioBug15

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 16514

When Vanoss and his crew test a glitch in the latest GTA V update, they somehow end up in Equestria for reasons unknown they're forced to work with the Mane 6 and save the world somehow.

In the city of Los Santos, Vanoss and most of his crew are testing out a new glitch in the latest update, but somehow suprisingly they all end up in Equestria, they're bodies trapped in their GTA V characters and somehow developing otherworldly powers.

Together they must all work together to figure out how they got here and stop an ongoing war from destroying itself.

Not a parody or spoof of anything, but an actual story with a plot an setting and grammatical stuff like that.

The characters in the fic will include Vanoss, H2O Delirious, SilentDroidd, I AM WILDCAT, Lui Calibre, Sark, Daithi De Nogla, Mini Ladd, and Terroriser.

Published 2014-08-22 16:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-08 05:35:42 UTC

Chapter 1: What just happened?

I do not own MLP, that belongs to Hasbro.

It was a beautiful day in the land of Equestria, the birds chirping, the sun shining, no recent monster attacks that always end up with partial or complete destruction of Ponyville.

But Twilight's day was being spent still wandering the halls of her new house/castle, she had to admit, it has been 2 weeks since Tirek's defeat and the construction of her new castle to replace the Golden Oaks Library, besides the throne room, there was everything from a 7 bedrooms, 6 halls, 4 bathrooms, a kitchen, 2 living rooms, a magic testing room, (strangely) an armory, an attic, 2 basements (was that even possible?), a much bigger library with a lot more books, and (for some reason) 3 storage rooms (why three?) and it still had some space for more things to be put there, despite it's already large size, a castle couldn't hold this many rooms, even Celestia's, Time Turner explained to her that the energy inside the chest that made her castle made things bigger on the inside. (Author's Note: they haven't shown all of Twilight's castle, so I'm just trying to be a little humorous and add this many rooms.)

"Twilight!!!" a voice resonated through the rooms, oh no, Spike was lost in the castle again.

Twilight followed the echos and found herself standing in front of a closet, she opened it, Spike came running out and almost slammed into a wall if he hadn't stopped himself.

"Oops, sorry Twilight," he nervously smiled, rubbing the back of his head with his claws.

"Maybe we should go outside," she concluded, this was the fifth time today that Spike got lost, which is a record on the lowest amount of times he got lost in this maze they called a house.

They made their way out to the entrance and stepped outside, it really was a beautiful day, why spend it all inside?

Twilight shook her wings and began to walk over to greet her friends.

First was Rainbow Dash, the cyan rainbow-maned pegasus who strives to become a Wonderbolt, one of the most famous group of pegasus fliers in Equestria.

"Hiya Twilight! You're back!" Rainbow glided to the ground and landed in front of her.

"What do you mean?" Twilight asked.

"Ever since that castle has been built, you've been in there for days, what were you doing?" Rainbow wondered.

"I was just looking to see what everything in the castle," Twilight argued.

"Yeah, for three days," Rainbow snorted.

"Three days?" Twilight realized, she really had to see her friends now, she rushed past Rainbow.

"Wait what's going on?" Rainbow yelled.

"I need to visit the rest of my friends!" she yelled back.

Next was Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy, each of them worried that Twilight would've gotten lost in that place and never come out, Applejack was glad that Twilight was okay, Fluttershy was happy that she was back, and so was Rarity, not before saying that her mane looked like a rat's nest and should be cleaned up before ever leaving a house ever again.

Finally there was Pinkie, Twilight opened the door to Sugarcube Corner, but as quietly as she was, she was not prepared for the surprise party that awaited her.

"SURPRISE!!!!" everypony yelled, Twilight jumped back in fright, but then relaxed after she saw Pinkie with a huge goofy grin on her face.

The banner read: Welcome-back-Twilight-from-the-castle-and-probably-getting-lost-but-suddenly-came-back party, the place had all the sort of treats you'd find in a bakery/sweet shop.

They really did miss her, Twilight smiled.

Meanwhile on Planet Earth... well more specifically Los Santos, but you get the point.

It was a beautiful day in Los Santos, the beautiful appearance of the city, the lights at night, the cars that drive by, the only problem was that no one was enjoying it.

Then there were these guys.

"Hey guys! You ready?" Vanoss said, walking over to the upside down car while they were on top of a very tall skyscraper

"I still find it suspicious that this update came out on April Fool's day, what are we supposed to do again?" Mini Ladd asked Vanoss.

"We're supposed to use the car launch glitch into that building over there, I read online that if you hit the top window, it will take you to a new place in the map," Wildcat instructed.

"I call bullshit," Delirious said.

"No one fucking cares Delirious!" Vanoss grabbed a baseball bat and swung it, making contact with his skull, he fell over and somehow ended up falling off the building.

"HHHOOOOLLLLY FUUUUCCCCKK, I CAAAAAN FLL-" Delirious managed to yell out before getting smacked by a plane wing, the plane then flew over the building, a man jumped out and used his parachute to land next to Wildcat.

"Hello." Nogla said, taking off the parachute, everyone burst out laughing at Delirious's apparent death.

"I have a feeling that you did some thing really bad," Mini Ladd backed away from Nogla.

"Hey! Delirious was in the way." Nogla yelled at them.

"No, not Delirious, no one cares about him," Wildcat pointed out.

"I heard that you fucking bitch," Delirious said as he respawned, pulling out a sticky bomb.

"Oh yeah, I left Lui on the plane when he left his controller to take a piss, the plane should be crashing-"

*BOOM*

"-now."

"Hey guys I'm back... Nogla, I fucking hate you so much," Lui's voice said through the headphones after he realized what happened, everyone couldn't stop laughing.

"Okay everyone, let's go!" Vanoss yelled as he jumped on the car, creating the launch glitch.

*KAPOOYA*

"HOOOLY SHIT!" Vanoss yelled as he crashed through the window.

"Are you dead Vanoss?" Wildcat yelled.

".....No! I think it's waiting for you guys for some reason."

"Fuck this shit, it's my turn," Wildcat pushed aside the others, put on his famous pig mask and helmet and jumped onto the flipped car.

"TO THE MOON!!!!" Wildcat yelled as he landed in the window with Vanoss.

"Are you dead?" Mini Ladd slurred, opening his fourth bottle of beer and chugging it.

"COME ON IN!" Wildcat yelled.

"My turn, move aside Delirious." Mini Ladd said as he stumbled onto the car, launching him into the window with Wildcat and Vanoss.

Then came Lui, Nogla, and Terroriser, who stepped in front of them.

"Alright you bunch of pussies, we must get onto the car... and GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!" Terroriser yelled in his Arnold voice as he ran and was launched into the window with the rest of the crew.

"Woah Terroriser, what the hell is up with your face? You look like you met bigfoot's ex-wife during busy season." Wildcat asked

"IT'S NOT A TUMOR!!!" Terroriser yelled.

Lui and Nogla went in at the same time, barely missing and managed to land on Mini, who was too drunk to care.

Now it was H2O Delirious's turn, he cracked his knuckles, got into his running stance.

"I can do this!" he yelled.

"Just get your ass over here!" Lui yelled in his Lui Jr. voice.

"Hey Tyler, I'll give you a thousand bucks for every time Delirious misses," Vanoss whispers to Wildcat.

"You're fucking on Evan!" Wildcat said.

"To infinity and Delirious!" he yelled, he was launched straight at the window, until Wildcat shot him with a shotgun.

"You fucking dick!" Delirious yelled as he fell and respawned.

"To infinity and-" Wildcat shot Delirious with a sniper rifle.

"YOU'RE A BITCH WILDCAT!" Delirious yelled and respawned again.

"Fuck this shit, I'm just running," he ran towards the car.

"Be careful Delirious, remember that you're prone to being retarded!" Vanoss yelled, who recieved a rather loud 'fuck you!'

Delirious instead was launched into the sky, who then landed with a 'splat' minutes later.

"What would happen if I walked?" Delirious wondered.

"Don't do it Delirious, that's suicide!" Vanoss yelled.

"I call bullshit on that," Delirious replied, he walked over to the car, but was instead launched downward and half a second later landed with a 'splat' again

90 minutes later...

"It's been an hour and a half and Delirious still hasn't gotten in, he's so fucking dumb!" Mini Ladd said, sobering up.

"Alright guys, I have the perfect plan," Delirious said.

"We already heard all your perfect plans, I wouldn't be surprised if this one ended in your death again." Vanoss joked.

*WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH*

"What's that?" Lui asked.

They all turned to see Delirious riding a jet pack towards them.

"Surprise motherfuckers," he yelled as he crashed into the rest of the guys.

"I made, I fucking made it!!!" he yelled, soon the floor below collapsed, everyone screaming as they fell.

"That was one of the best parties ever!" Twilight said.

"Thanks Twilight!" Pinkie beamed, the rest of the Mane 6 behind Twilight.

Suddenly a portal opened in front of them, startling them all.

"What is that?" Twilight asked, suddenly seven aliens emerged from the portal, the first one in red was apparently awake, he looked around and spotted the ponies, he then pinched himself to see if he wasn't dreaming or having a nightmare, he then sank to his knees and screamed.

VONDERHAAR!!!!!!!

Author's Note

So how'd it go?

Chapter 2: How is this possible?

Hasbro owns MLP and Vanoss's crew own themselves.

The six ponies began to stare at the six unconscious humans, the exception being Vanoss, who screamed "VONDERHAAR!!!"

Vanoss began to calm down, trying to process what just happened, I think I'm on a really bad LSD trip, he thought to himself.

Twilight was also trying to process what just happened, but instead failed, as she realized that what just happened gave the laws of physics a hefty 'fuck you.' (although her thoughts involving that last line were lot more kid-friendly.) She couldn't think of anything to say, so she attempted to greet it.

Vanoss stared at the multi-colored horses in front of him, what caught him off-guard was what it said.

"Hello, my name is Prin-" Twilight tried to say.

"Holy shit, it can talk!" Vanoss yelled, the white pony fainted, he then smacked the masked one's with the blue shirt several times, trying to wake him up.

"Delirious, wake up you stupid fuck," Vanoss said, Twilight flinched at his vulgar language, what kind of planet did they live on?

"I don't wanna go to school..." Delirious mumbled, Vanoss rolled his eyes at the cliched sleep talk.

"Hey Delirious, there's a shark eating a cheeseburger," Vanoss coaxed, Delirious's eyes opened and he sprang to his feet.

"Where? Wait, what the hell? Vanoss, I think I'm dreaming, I see a lot of color-y shit everywhere, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!" Delirous screamed, Vanoss walked up to him and punched him in the jaw, "Ow! What the fuck?!?" he demanded, rubbing his already-bruising jaw

"There, now you know you're not dreaming, come to think of it, I think I'm dreaming, I punched you in the face and you're not dead," Vanoss answered, this time taking out a baseball bat, Delirious pulled out a pistol.

"Don't you hit me motherfucker," Delirous would've said if he wasn't karate chopped in the neck by Mini Ladd, who was still trying to recover from blunt force head trauma and alcoholism.

"Ow my head, I can't tell if I bashed my skull or if it's the hangover," Mini Ladd groaned, he then spotted the six ponies.

"It's definitely the hangover," Mini concluded, who then fell asleep again.

Twilight was completely and utterly confused, first, did the one in red say something about a shark eating a... "cheese-burger", unaware of the word's meaning. Second, why is the blue one getting picked on? And finally, how did they get their weapons out if nowhere? How is all of this even possible?

"Ahem, my name is-"

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT ON A STICK IT CAN TALK!" Wilcat yelled as he witnessed the talking horse as he woke up.

"Can you tone it down? Jesus...." Terroriser stood up and looked at the ponies, he then looked at Delirious.

"I somehow think this is your fault," he said to Delirious, who then facepalmed in humiliation.

"As I was saying-" Twilight then looked at them to see if they were going to interrupt her, everyone was silent.

...

"My na-"

"Holy fuck, Delirious, I don't think what you gave me was beer!" a new voice said, this one slightly high-pitched than the others, belonging to an alien wearing a monkey mask, Rainbow couldn't contain her laughter as Twilight was rudely interrupted, again.

"I know that's what we're trying to find out Lui," Vanoss said, trying to think, but could find no logical solution but this:

Illegal Alien Cartel, nuff said., and possibly the glitch that they attempted.

"If you could please let me talk!" Twilight yelled, all of them were about to speak until she cast a spell where their lips were sealed by zippers.

"Finally, anyway, my name is Princess Twilight Sparkle and I welcome you to Equestria," Twilight said, it felt as though it should've been Celestia to say this, but she was a princess like her.

Mini Ladd unzipped his mouth, "What the hell kind of name is Equestria?"

"I fucking knew that magic existed!" Delirious shouted after the rest unzipped their mouths.

"Shut the hell up Delirious, we don't want to know about the unspeakable things you do to the Tooth Fairy," Wildcat broke the zipper somehow, it probably had something to do with his mouth being covered by a mask

"Anyway, I welcome you to Equestria, if you would do so, may you please follow us to Ponyville so we may ask you some questions?" Twilight was making this all up on the spot, she was just excited that there were ACTUAL aliens in Equestria, vulgar aliens, but still aliens.

The six humans (not counting Nogla, who was still out cold.) then looked at each other, then burst our laughing.

"Ponyville?!? It sounds so much fucking dumb than Equestria," Wildcat said between laughs.

"I dunno, I don't trust hallucinations," Vanoss said suspiciously.

Rainbow then sped towards him, but he ducked and she instead rammed Delirious, who was slammed into a tree.

"Can a hallucination do that?" she asked Vanoss.

"Delirious had his ass handed to him, how can anyone not believe that anymore," he said, impressed.

"Yeah, I sorta meant to hit you," she chuckled nervously.

"Guys, I think Delirious is dead," Mini Ladd said, Rainbow turned to look at Delirious's body.

"Yeah, he's dead," Lui said, everypony gasped.

"I didn't mean to-"

"You fucking bitch," a voice behind her said, she turned to see Delirious alive.

"Delirious, your supposed to be dead," Wildcat said, pulling out a shotgun and shooting him.

Seconds later Delirious reappeared again, his dead bodies disappearing.

"I'm back motherfucker!" he yelled.

"Can you please stop killing each other!" Twilight pleaded, shocked at Delirious's death, but was then concerned when he died again.

"Fine...FUK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!!!" Wildcat yelled as he swung a 9-iron into Delirious's head, killing him again.

"You're a dick Wildcat," Delirious said as he respawned.

"Can we please get to the castle?" Twilight was almost to the point of begging, the rest of the mane 6 were just watching them in shock.

2 hours later

Twilight managed to almost literally drag the humans to the castle, with Lui having to carry Nogla and waking up Mini Ladd with a smelling salt, she closed the door after everypony entered.

Everypony took a seat with Vanoss's crew in the middle.

"So, who and what are you?" Twilight asked, Terroriser walked over to her,

"I am Terroriser and we are humans from planet Earth," he explained.

"Why did you have to say it like that? It was so cliche, they say that in almost every movie if the aliens are friendly goddammit!" Wildcat facepalmed.

"Anyway, I'm Vanoss, the badass," Vanoss introduced.

"I'm H2O Delirious, the-"

"Nobody fucking cares!" Nogla yelled.

"Nogla's awake!" Mini Ladd yelled.

"I have been you twat, I just wanted someone to carry me because apparently somebody fucking called me lazy," he squinted his eyes at Mini.

"Okay anyway, that's Delirious, Wildcat, Lui, Nogla, Mini Ladd, and Terroriser." Vanoss rushed past so there wouldn't be another argument.

"Thank you for the introducing yourselves, I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, there's Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie."

"Uh oh," Pinkie said.

"What's wrong?" Fluttershy asked.

"Pinchy knee," she said.

Suddenly another portal appeared, this time a taxi drove through and hit Delirious and Wildcat, the driver exited the car.

"Droidd, what are you doing here?" Mini Ladd said, everyone and everypony surprised.

"I-I don't know, I was just driving my taxi to Cockatoos and get wasted con los gringos and now I'm here... what the hell are those colorful ponies doing, how did I get here," he said in his mexican accent.

"We actually have no fucking clue how all this happened," Vanoss said.

...

"So, this is awkward," Lui said.

"Droidd you fucking bitch," Delirious and Wildcat said simultaneously.

Author's Note

So far so good.

Chapter 3: I'm the real Delirious! And friggin' Sark...

You know who owns what, lets go!

After grueling number of boring questions, it was finally settled, despite the number of bedrooms in Twilight's castle, the Crew had to be grouped up with the Mane 6 (it totally had nothing to do with the letter that was sent by Princess Celestia -_-)

The groups consisted of Vanoss with Twilight Sparkle, Wildcat with Rainbow Dash, Nogla with Applejack, Mini Ladd and Terroriser with Rarity, Lui and SilentDroidd with Fluttershy, and finally Delirious with Pinkie Pie.

Delirious had to be paired with the pink one, the fucking pink one, he thought to himself. He looked down and saw the hyper pink pony bouncing almost literally around his head.

Minutes later they arrived to Sugarcube Corner, the confectionery shop was dark, Delirious cautiously stepped inside, a flashlight in hand.

"This is like a fucking scary gmod ma-"

"SURRISE!!!"

"HOLY SHIT!!!" Delirious yelled, jumping back out of the shop, just by coincidence a random cart was moving at dangerously high speeds towards him while he was in mid-fall, Delirious landed on it, where it swerved in different directions until it led straight into the Everfree Forest.

Pinkie and the crowd just stared in shock.

A loud roar came from the forest and stopped, Delirious spawned next to Pinkie, shivering in shock.

"I... have fucking seen things... " Delirious fainted before he hit the ground, Pinkie Pie looked at the crowd.

"Surprise alien party next time?" Pinkie asked nervously, everypony awwwwed in disappointment and left.

The next day

Delirious woke up on the floor, covered in blankets, he got up, and walked out of the room, he turned and saw a bowl of sweets.

Holy shit, the rainbow took a huge candy shit today and laid all of it out to a little someone named Delirious, he thought menacingly, reaching out for a cookie, but his hand was slapped by a pink hoof.

Delirious turned to see Pinkie.

But she was wearing a hockey mask of her own.

"What the fuck?" Delirious said.

"Hiya! I'm H2O Delirious!" Pinkie yelled, almost succeeding to imitate his voice, which infuriated him.

"I don't sound like that goddamit!" Delirious said, pulling out a knife, ready to cut the pink bitch.

But Pinkie brought out a plastic knife, "Shank powers activate!" she yelled, diving at him.

30 minutes later...

SLASH-poke! "Ow!"

SWIPE-poke! "Shit!"

STAB-poke! "Motherfucker!" Delirious screamed.

Poke! "C-c-c-c-c-Combo breaker," Pinkie yelled excitedly, everytime Delirious tried to cut her, she moved and poked him with a plastic knife.

"I"M THE REAL DELIRIOUS!!!" he screamed at her.

"NO I'M THE REAL DELIRIOUS!" Pinkie yelled, mimicking him.

"I AM!" he was at the breaking point.

"NO I AM!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!" Delirious screamed.

"Oh we're doing war cries now?" Pinkiw asked.

"FUCK YEAH WE ARE!!!" he yelled.

"Okay, in that case-" Pinkie let in a deep breath.

And yelled.

Delirious flew out of the store, around the world 500 times and landed back into the store via wall.

It was so loud, no mortal in Equestria could hear it except for Delirious, the same could not be said for the rest of the Universe, Earth had heard it, the Eiffel tower toppled over and somehow turned into a fork, Russian vodka suddenly became the greatest drink of all time, a Canadian killed a man.

And Chuck Norris had a stroke.

The rest of the universe had heard it, the primitive people of many planets had began worshipping this sound as the "Great Sound God", as they sacrificed their delicious foods to the gods.

"So, did I win?" she asked.

"...Holy shit."

Meanwhile in GMod, Hide And Seek.

"Oh shit, run Nanners run!" Sark yelled, trying to run from the all too familiar people in red.

"No! Save yourself Sark!" SeaNanners tried to run but was tagged by a red, who then began running after Sark.

"Get away !" Sark ran as fast a he can until he hit a corner, surrounded by 4 people wearing red shirts.

"Any last words?"

"Yeah, ninja vanish!" Sark yelled, he then tried to open the menu and quit the game, but he found that he couldn't.

"What the fuck?" he said, the game froze, he tried to move, but he suddenly ended up somewhere else, somewhere familiar.

A cornfield, with props and soldiers moving everywhere.

"Shoot through the cornfield and we'll get them!" an annoying voice said.

"BURN THE CORNFIELD!" Wildcat from the past said.

"Wha-" Sark was just about to say until he went down a rabbit hole-like portal, he kept going on and on and on...

Until it spat him out... into a pastel colored castle.

"Sark! What're you doing here?" Sark turned to see Vanoss and a purple unicorn.

"I an ask the same thing Vanoss, I shouldn't have mixed all those beers together, I think I'm suffering from brain failure, I'm seeing everything in cartoon and multi-colored horses."

"Actually I'm a-" Twilight was about to say until-

"Holy shit! Vanoss, I think I'm dead and in some sort of bad acid trip and my brain is dying," Sark yelled, Vanoss then punched him in the face with brass knuckles.

"If this is a dream and brain death, what do you call that?"

"A stroke!" Sark yelled, rubbing his forehead, he then collapsed in shock.

"Should we get him to a doctor?" Twilight asked.

"Nah, if he dies he'll probably respawn, shit, this is going to be a long talk," Vanoss sighed, suddenly a certain masked man wearing blue burst through the doors and ran into Vanoss.

"Delirious, what the fuck happened?" he asked Delirious, who was covered in cuts and bruises.

"Get that pink bitch away from me!" he yelled.

"What the fuck happened?" Vanoss said, looking at Pinkie, who was still wearing the hockey mask.

"Delirious was playing a game of CUT CUT SLASH, but I was playing a game of 'poke the Delirious', guess who's winning?" Pinkie asked, brandishing a plastic knife.

"If that's the case then-" Twilight was about to say until she was so rudely interrupted by Vanoss.

"Take him and go, that seems like a very fun game, you and Delirious should play it more," Vanoss said with an evil grin on his face.

"Yay!" Pinkie cheered, dragging Delirious away.

"Hey Twilight I hope these are the-" Spike walked into the room.

"NNNNOOOOOOO, VANOSS YOU BITCH!!!" Delirous yelled before the doors closed behind him.

"Nevermind," he said, running back to his room.

...

"So, what should we do now?" Vanoss asked.

"Never speak of this again, I fear for Delirious's life," Twilight said.

"I almost feel bad for him, if it wasn't so fucking funny," Vanoss burst out laughing.

Meanwhile, wherever the hell Discord is...

"I feel a disturbance in the universe," he said as he heard a very loud noise, sensing that it was Pinkie.

Author's Note

Poor Delirious...

Chapter 4: Operation Bigfoot

You know who owns what, let's get to it!

"And that's what happened," Vanoss said to Sark, the rest of his crew behind him.

"The fuck? You didn't even explain anything, you just said 'and that's what happened,' fucking tell me!" Sark yelled.

"We were doing a glitch in the newest update on GTA V and we somehow ended up in this place," Nogla explained.

"THEN HOW THE FUCK DID I END UP HERE?!?!" Sark screamed.

"Beats me, but for some reason, we keep our ability to respawn, see," Delirious then shoots him in the face, where he respawns as his GTA V character.

"I'm going to kill you Delirious!" Sark pulled out a nightstick and hit him with it.

"OW shit! Oh you wanna go motherfucker!" Delirious pulled out his knife, but not before he was shot in the head by Droidd.

"S-shut the fuck up Delirious, I just want to go to Cockatoos," he said, Delirious respawned, if Twilight face-hoofed any harder, it would've gone through her head, she turned to see her friends with her too, except Pinkie.

"Hey Delirious, where's Pinkie?" Twilight asked.

"I'm not going inside with Delirious in there!" Pinkie screamed from outside the castle.

"What did you do?" Twilight stomped her hoof in frustration.

"She saw my face," Delirious said, everyone burst out laughing.

"No wonder! It's that fucking bad!" Terroriser laughed.

"Not like that! She saw the clown make-up," this caused them to laugh even harder.

"You still have that shit on your face? Goddamn Delirious, I almost actually have respect for you," Wildcat responded.

"Fuck you," Delirious said, Pinkie tried to tip-toe past him, but Delirious took off his mask, "BOO MOTHERFUCKER!!!" he yelled, Pinkie paled, then stiffened, falling over like a fainting goat.

"I finally found her weakness!" Delirious chuckled to himself.

"Your clothes look horrid, she probably found them deathly terrifying," Rarity said.

"They're fucking fine," Delirious put on his mask and took Pinkie outside and set her beside the Castle.

"So Mr. Sark, it seems like you ended up in Equestria like the others, but you ended up here differently, can you care to explain?" Twilight asked.

"Well, I was just playing Garry's Mod with SeaNanners and the others until the game fucked the fuck out and I ended up in a clip where we were in a cornfield, remembering that an ax in a cornfield is OP as fuck, then somehow I was plopped here like a man taking a huge solid shit into a toilet and I lost my mind when the hypothetical man flushed the fucking hypothetical toilet,"

Meanwhile in Hell...

"Dad! Are you finished yet!" the Anti-Christ said, knocking on the bathroom door, Satan then came out of the bathroom.

"Yeah, I just had to drop a Sark into Equestria, the fucker called me hypothetical," Satan said.

"Can you stop talking shit and help plan to rule the world?"

"I wasn't being weird, I literally shit Sark into the land of colorful fucking ponies."

"So did you bring any powers with you?" Rainbow asked.

"Dafuq?"

"Yeah, we're somehow invincible, do you still have Gmod powers?" Vanoss asked.

"I dunno, lemme see," he concentrated and turned into a '6-foot tall piece of shit', everyone just laughed.

"What the fuck am I!" Sark yelled.

"It's an inside joke, you'll never understand," Vanoss said, turning into a barrel and rammed into Delirious.

"FUCK!"

"Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?" Mini Ladd said.

PROP HUNT!!!!!

"What's prop hunt?" Twilight asked.

"Well that ruined the big title on the Fanfic," Pinkie said.

"Prop hunt is basically where there are 2 teams, the hunters and the props, the hunters find the props and kill them, the props can turn into anything of appropriate side, unless you're playing call of duty version," Discord said, appearing out of nowhere.

"HOLY FUCK IT"S Cthulu! He demands a sacrifice," Delirious said, shooting Vanoss.

"I will kill you Delirious," Vanos angrily said.

"Cthulu is a fish monster you stupid fuck," Wildcat said, smaking him in the face with a baseball bat.

"OW!!! Why is it always me?" Delirious said.

"Can we try it?" Rainbow asked, everypony looked at her.

"Didn't you hear him just say 'kill;?" Twilight said, astounded.

"Well, we can't really die in , so it doesn't count."

"You really don't die in it, you actually disappear and then start the process all over," Discord said in a nasally voice, wearing large glasses and reading a book called 'Prop Hunt 101' (#SteveUrkelDiscord).

"And how the hell do you know all about this?" Nogla said, crossing his arms.

"That is for me to know and for you to find out," Discord winked at them

"I prefer not to take part in this," Rarity said.

"Me neither," Fluttershy agreed.

"So that makes it 4-9, that hardly seems fair!" Twilight objected.

"Fine, I'll fucking help you," Terroriser said.

"I also don't want to join, I just want to go to Cockatoos," Droidd said, drinking a beer.

"So that's 5-7, seems reasonable," Twilight finally said.

"Okay let's do this!" Delirious yelled, he was then hit with the face with Vanoos, who turned into a brick.

"WHY ME!?!?" Delirious yelled.

5 minutes on the clock, go!

The crew split into different rooms, each of them taking different forms (But I will not say what...).

"Okay girls... and Terroriser, let's go!" Pinkie shouted, waving around a giant club.

4:06 minutes...

Twilight walked into her main bedroom.

"Hello Twilight, what're you doing here?" Vanoss said, the voice sounded throughout the room, not even giving away his location.

Twilight walked past and saw a table.

Stacked with over 8 candles.

"Which one am I?" Vanoss taunted, Twilight concentrated and focused using magic, he was none of them.

"Hey! No using that voodoo- magic!" Vanoss yelled, Twilight then walked over to his location, he was a cup.

"Well you weren't there before," Twilight grinned.

Vanoss mentally sweatdropped, "Oh shit.... AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Vanoss leapt off the table and ran out of the room, where he passed Wildcat, who was being chased by Applejack.

"Boo-do-ba-do Banana Bus!" Wildcat sang, disguised as a banana while dragging Applejack's hat with him, trying to piss off Applejack, which succeeded.

"Get over here you Wildcat!!!" Applejack yelled, which was only answered by maniacal laughter.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!" Delirious yelled as he was being chased by Pinkie Pie, who was holding a leash and collar.

"Be my pet refrigirator!!!" she yelled.

"FUCK!!!" he yelled as Pinkie caught him and dragged

"Get over here Mini!" Terroriser yelled, firing bullets at Mini, who was a running lamp.

Vanoss ran as fast as he could, he then disguised himself as a book and hid himself inside the library, Twilight followed him into the library, but didn't see where he hid, "Where are you?" she demanded.

"I'll give you a hint: I'm a fucking book," Vanoss burst into laughter, Twilight fumed in annoyance, he then saw in the corner of his HUD, Lui was destroyed by Rainbow, Pinkie took Delirious, Wildcat then slid underneath Twilight and continued moving, Applejack burst into the room, crashing into Twilight, shits and giggles continued once more.

"OW, ow, ow!" Twilight yelled in pain, Wildcat turned into a magazine and hid among the books.

Nogla and Sark met their end after Pinkie tossed a grenade into a room..

"Hey Vanoss, operation Bigfoot?" Wildcat, a grin stretched across his face.

"Definitley," Vanoss concentrated and turned into a satellite dish when both Twilight and Applejack turned away.

Opertation Bigfoot is a-go.

Vanoss quicky then turned back into book when they turned around, Wildcat couldn't stop laughing, along with everyone that wasn't a hunter.

"This is going to be fun..." Vanoss said.

"Vanoss, HELP ME!!!" Delirious screamed, he managed to break free from Pinkie.

"Delirious, you're alive? NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Lui yelled.

"Come back Delirious!" she yelled, this time hold both a taser and a 'banana' (cough *Wildcat* cough).

"Put me down you pink fuck!" Wildcat tried to get out of Pinkie's grasp.

"What the fuck!?!? You're don't even have fingers!" Vanoss said, Wildcat then turned into a refrigerator.

"This won't stop me!" Pinkie strained to carry Wildcat, before she was tripped by Nogla, who was a moving carpet, she then did a perfect impression of the Wicked Witch of the East in the Wizard of Oz.

"Pfft hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! Freedom!" Delirious laughed, retreating, before he was cruched by Wildcat via thrown by Pinkie.

"FUCK!" both Wildcat and Delirious yelled, both disappearing.

You're the last one, complete the mission!

"Remember your training Vanoss, operation Bigfoot!" Wildcat yelled, as everypony left the library, suspicious about his location.

"Do it!" Delirious yelled

Vanoss then turned into a satellite dish.

"Hey ladies, Bigfoot's looking for you!" Vanoss laughed hysterically, he then poofed into a lamp when Rainbow flew through the room.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" everyone laughed.

"What're you all laughing at, and what the heck is Bigfoot!!!!!!" Rainbow demanded.

"It's called be being fucking sneaky," Wildcat said, putting on his 'rape face'.

1 minute left.

"Hold your position soldier!" Mini Ladd said.

"You can do it Vanoss!" Lui Jr. said.

30 seconds on the clock!

"Oh shit, he's gonna get reckless!" Mini said excitedly.

"What the fuck, that's it! GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!!" Terroriser went in guns blazing, but Vanoss took a cardboard box and lobbed it at him.

The very weak cardboard box made contact with Terroriser.

And killed him!

The game was finished.

"WHAT THE FUCK!!! I'M DONE VANOSS, I'M SO FUCKING DONE!!!" Terroriser said.

"That's because you're fucking dumb," Wildcat chuckled.

Awkward silence.....

"So, wanna play again?"

"NO!"

Author's Note

This chapter honestly sounded better in my head, but I tried my best.

Chapter 5: Puncake and the Switch

Crew owns themselves and Hasbro owns MLP and Transfornication

Author's note: I finally found a perfect theme song to this fic, if you like it, post it's name into the comment section.

Theme Song

Twilight opened her eyes, she looked towards the clock: eight thirty; she sighed got out of bed and headed through the corridors.

She eventually made her way near kitchen, the smell of breakfast strong in her senses, she entered the kitchen.

Only to see Wildcat holding Spike up by his neck, screaming in his face.

"Why!?! Why, why, why, why, WHY!?!?!?!" Wildcat screamed at him, Spike was panicking, Twilight hit Wildcat with a harmless yet painful bolt of magic.

"What is wrong with you?" Twilight demanded, stomping her hoof.

"No matter what I do, it will always follow me, no matter how many times I forget it, it always comes back, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I TRY TO GET RID OF IT, IT WILL FOREVER HAUNT ME!!!!" Wildcat screamed.

"What are you talking about?" Twilight asked, confused.

"That!" Wildcat said, pointing at that.

"It's just a pancake, are they some sort of evil in your world?" Twilight wondered in curiosity.

"That's not a pancake, that. Is. The. PUNCAKE!!!" Wildcat yelled in rage.

"Did somebody say PUNCAKE!!!" Delirious yelled across the castle.

"FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU-" Wildcat yelled.

"Shut the hell up Wildcat, it will always return," Mini Ladd said in his deep, creepy voice.

"I'm actually glad no one blamed me for anything yet," Delirious said, and at that exact moment, Lui shot him in the head.

"You were saying?" Lui Jr. laughed.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!" Delirious screamed, running at him with a knife.

"Shut the hell up Delirious, look! Purple is onto something," Vanoss said, wearing sweat pants and shirt with a yellow bus in the shape of a banana, Twilight levitated the 'puncake' up to her face, but Wildcat snatched it out of her magic grip.

"No, we have to test if this is a puncake," WIldcat concluded.

"Who wants to go first?" everyone and everypony took a step back, while Delirious was standing still, who didn't here the question at first.

"Wait wha- oh are you shitting me?" Delirious yelled at them, Wildcat grinned through his pig mask, coming up with an idea.

"Hey Delirious! CaRtOoNz fucked your sister!" Wildcat taunted, who stepped away from the puncake slightly.

"You bastard! I will fucking kill you!" Delirious came at Wildcat with a knife, but at the same time, Rainbow crouched, tripping Delirious, causing him to land face first into the puncake.

Everypony gaped at the small crater that left a sizzling Delirious, everybody else just lost control and began laughing.

"What is so funny?" Twilight demanded.

"I-it's-hahahaha, Delirio- pfft hehehehehe-" Wildcat calmed himself, trying to think.

"Okay it's just that- pfft ahhaahahahahahahaha, guys fucking stop it!" Wildcat said to the rest of the crew, who was still laughing.

"You son of a fuck," Delirious glared at Wildcat, he then flipped off Rainbow, earning a killer glare from her too.

"Spike, how did you make this?" Twilight asked him, she looked at him.

"I followed the ingredients, look: egg, vanilla extract, flour-" Spike listed, Twilight looked at the tin of 'flour'.

"Is that-"

"C-fucking-4!" Delirious said.

"I knew it was a puncake! I could smell it," Wildcat whispered, the girls giggled at his joke.

"How did this even get in here?" Twilight said.

"That would be me," Discord said, popping out of nowhere.

"Why did you do this?" Fluttershy asked.

Discord cleared his throat and spoke, "Well you see dearie, I knew that my dear friend Delirious would be quite dull enough to land in the pie, causing a giant nuke-sized explosion," he said in a strange, slightly high-pitched, scottish accent, turning into a man with dark mottled green and grey skin, he then snapped his claws, turning into a black monster with a fiery beard and wild eyes.

"Oh, but you all saw it coming didn't you?" Discord-Aku cackled, before snapping his fingers and turning into a normal man wearing white, sporting a mischievous grin.

"So yes mademoiselle, I had this planned all along," Q said before transforming back into old Discord, he then grinned at both Twilight and Vanoss.

"What the fuck are you looking at us for?" Vanoss asked.

"Oh nothing, just a funny little idea popped into me noggin," Discord answered.

"Well, tell us," Twilight said, his grin grew even wider.

"Why Twilight, why tell you, when I can show you," Discord snapped his fingers, but nothing happened.

"What was that supposed to do?" Twilight smirked, but her smile faded as she fainted.

"What the fuck... I need to... lay... off the... weed," Vanoss managed to say before falling over, Discord snapped his fingers, causing time to move forward a day.

Vanoss woke up with a throbbing headache.

"Ow, son of a..." Vanoss tried to say, but his throat sounded both weird and it hurt too much to talk, he sat up on the bed.

"Huh, funny, I was wearing clothes before," he said, curious as to what just happened, he got off the bed, landing on all hooves.

Wait a minute... hooves? Vanoss thought, he slowly looked down and saw two purple hooves on the ground.

"Huh, weirdest dream I've been in since I was killed by Delirious in a Freddy Fazbear suit with a chainsaw," he said, but his voice sounded... feminine? This was getting way too weird, he lifted his hoof and moved a piece of purple hair that has been bothering him.

Wait a minute... purple hooves and hair, that means- Vanoss ran straight towards a mirror .

And Princess Twilight Sparkle stared back.

"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!" Vanoss screamed in Twilight's voice.

Twilight opened her eyes, she sat up in her bed.

How did I get here? What happened? Wait, I don't remember wearing clothes this morning! Twilight thought, she ran her hand through her mane.

Wait a fucking minute, hands? Twilight thought, she just then realized she just actually cursed, her new hands flew to her mouth; her face was much flatter, she got out of bed, on her feet, Wait! Feet, this is getting too weird.

Twilight looked down, she was wearing a shirt with a banana bus and red sweatpants, there was only one person who was wearing that this morning, or last, whichever, dammit!

She walked over and grabbed a mirror and looked at it with her new hands.

Vanossgaming AKA Evan stared right back at her.

"DISCORD!!!" she screamed.

Vanoss heard the sound of his own voice, he galloped all the way to Twilight's room, but not before falling over on her face over 20 times.

Ow sssshhhhiiii-, he tried to say, but he couldn't.

I can't swear, he realized, gosh darn it!

He slowly pushed the door open and looked out to see his body, who was looking at a mirror.

"T-Twilight," Vanoss said, his body froze, slowly turned around and looked straight at him.

"Vanoss? What the hell-goddammit!! Why do I keep cursing!" she said, but before she could come up with an excuse, Vanoss had already thought of a plausible solution.

"It's pretty obvious, Discord switched our bodies, but I think he probably also switched our personalities also, which is also why I'm the person saying this; is this what it's like to actually be super-computer smart?" Vanoss beamed, smiling while he was Twilight.

"I think it's also the same reason why I want to kill Delirious," Twilight admitted.

"Eh, killing Delirious is an instinct, everybody does it," Vanoss pointed out.

"Well, from my alternate personality, I'll have to agree on that," Twilight grinned.

Later...

"Vanoss! Get your ass over here! We got something to show you," Daithi said.

"Vanoss, what the hell am I supposed to say?" Twilight asked him.

"You have my personality, you already know what I'm supposed to say," Vanoss replied.

"I suppose so, fine then. Ahem, what is it Daithi?" Twilight said in a serious voice, Vanoss facehoofed.

"It's something amazing, you guys should know about this, wait, did you just call me Daithi, is there something wrong?" Nogla said.

"Um..." Twilight tried to say, she quickly took out a pistol and shot Delirious in the face, earning new respect from Vanoss.

"Vanoss you fucker!" Twilight grinned.

"Delirious you were always a dick," Twilight said.

"Eh, I guess he's fine," Nogla said to no one in particular.

"Twilight, that was terrible!" Vanoss said to Twilight, who stood proud in his body.

"So Twilight, I was just wonder-"

"If you touch anything that's not just skin on my skin, I will kill you when we get our bodies back," Twilight growled.

"No, I was just... holy sweet horseapples!" Vanoss yelled in bewilderment.

"What?" Twilight asked.

"I actually felt bad for Delirious! I have to get out of this body right now! Discord!!!" Vanoss screamed in desperation, Discord appeared in a floating shower, showering himself, he then spotted the two looking at him, he then jumped and covered himself, screaming like a little girl, he then snapped his claws, his shower disappeared with him wearing a towel around his waist.

"Oh hello, enjoying your bodies?" Discord grinned.

"NO! Change us back?" Vanoss yelled.

"Oh Vanoss you would be so cute if I put you in Fluttershy's body, I would pay good money to see her reaction," he said as if talking to a baby.

"Change us the hell back," Twilight growled, pointing a rocket launcher at him.

"How feisty Twilight, but why should I change you guys back?" Discord snickered.

"Hmm... I'll let you kill Delirious right now," Vanoss said.

"And I'll leave you alone to spend some time with Fluttershy," Twilight said.

Discord blushed at that, "I just killed Delirious right now, he's in a Sarlacc Pit from Star Wars. but I fast forward it so he will be back now, and Twilight, you know I-"

"That's not what I meant," Twilight said about him and Fluttershy.

"I know, I'm just messing with you; you can have your bodies back," Discord said, snapping his claws, Vanoss and Twilight ended up back in their original bodies.

"Fuck yeah! Delirious, I got something for you..." Vanoss said while holding his bazooka, creeping up to where Nogla was to find Delirious.

"GOTCHA BI- HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!" Vanoss said, Twilight followed up to him.

"What is that?" Twilight asked.

"That. Is the Banana Bus!" Wildcat cheered.

"Wait, here the hell is Delirious and Pinkie?" Rainbow said.

Delirious opened his eyes, sat up without thinking and landed on four pink hooves...

Author's Note

I'll let you one of you guys insert a new youtuber if you can guess who the bad guy is going to be in this fic.

Just put down the name of the suspected bad guy and put down the name of the youtuber you want to submit into the story.

Chapter 6: H2O Pinkie and Neck Snapper Nanners!

Author's Note

Everyone was wrong in the "guess the villain", it was supposed to be a villain everyone hated, no matter who you are, you would always hate this person.

But since you guys asked for SeaNanners:
"Ask and you shall receive," Matthew 7:7.

Chapter 6: H2O Pinkie and Neck Snapper Nanners!

Would you kindly do the honors?

Twilight Sparkle: Hasbro owns MLP.

Vanoss: And we own ourselves bitches!

Delirious: Yeah!

Vanoss: Shut the fuck up Delirious!

RadioBug15: (Sigh) Okay, onto the story.

"Okay, Operation Capture Delirious is a-go!" Mini Ladd said, loading his machine gun.

"I think we should come up with a better name, that name sounds a bit too inconspicuous," Terroriser pointed out.

"Shut yo bitch ass up Terroriser," Vanoss said to him.

"What the hell Vanoss? I'm the new Delirious now?" Terroriser took out a knife and attempted to stab him, but he missed and ended up stabbing a bear, who mauled him to death, causing him to respawn in anger.

"Until that bastard Delirious is caught, we need an ass monkey," Pinkie said, in Delirious's body, "He took my body, I want it back!!!"

"Woah Pinkie chill your tits, we'll get you your body back," Wildcat said.

"Okay, here's the plan..."

Delirious actually enjoyed being in Pinkie's body, not because she was a girl (she was a fucking pony for fucks sake!), but because of her special ability, the Pinkie Sense, so far he had dodge everything from bullets to rockets to fucking Rainbow Dash, he turned his head to look at a tree which suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

Delirious's new Pinkie sense went off as a twitching tail, he squinted his eyes at it.

He slowly turned around and began to trot off, until:

"Tah Dah!" Vanoss yelled.

Delirious whipped his head around to face the same tree, What the heck? He slowly turned his head again.

"Tah Dah!" he said again.

"VANOSS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" he screamed in Pinkie's voice.

"Hehehehehe, you sound fucking dumb Delirious!" Wildcat yelled.

"HEY, I will fuck you up for that!" Pinkie yelled at him.

Delirious raised an eyebrow, "Whatever a-darn! I can't curse!" he then turned around.

"TAH DAH MOTHERFUCKER!!!" Vanoss yelled again, Delirious then turned his head just in time to see a dumpster turn into a tree.

"I saw you!" he yelled.

"Hello Delirious, this was my plan all along!" he yelled, Delirious suddenly looked down to see a white X on where he was standing, a flying banana bus then appeared out of nowhere and slammed itself into Delirious, well... that would've happened if Delirious hadn't sidestepped and ran.

"You'll never take me alive! I'm running for my life!" he yelled at Vanoss.

"AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR DAT!" he yelled back, taking out a rocket launcher and taking aim for Delirious.

"OH CRU-"

"FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!" Wildcat yelled as he swung a golf club into Delirous's face, causing him to backflip and land on his stomach.

"Gangsta curb stomp!" Vanoss yelled, Pinkie joined in at kicking Delirious.

"I want my fucking body back bitch!" she yelled as she swung a fist, but Pinkie slipped out of the beatdown.

"Never, you'll never catch alive, or dead, because I'm Pinkie now! AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!" he yelled hysterically.

"And that's what happened," Sark said, Twilight blinked in surprise.

"So you're sure you want me to do this?" she asked.

"Yes, we need someone just as crazy as Delirious to fight him!" Terroriser said, taking out a pair of sunglasses and a shotgun, "AND GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!"

"So you're really sure?" she asked the crew.

"Yes we're fucking sure, just give us that pothead already!" Nogla said.

"I could really use some Cockatoos," Droidd said.

Twilight sighed, "Fine, but it's definitely going to take a lot of power out of me," she said.

"Good, the bastard's that powerful!" Sark said, Twilight sighed and focused using her Alicorn magic to reach out to a different dimension.

"I have never done this before, so don't blame me if I mess up," she said.

"It's okay, we'll give you some motivation," Sark said, pointing a gun to her head, Twilight panicked and reached out to get the person they need.

Meanwhile in a top secret laboratory where a group of soldiers are trying to fight against a person who is invisible and is wielding a knife...

"Get over here Ohm, I just want to stab the shit out of you!" Nanners yelled, he was the fucking Hidden.

"Get the fuck away from me!" he yelled, aiming his shotgun at 'nothing'.

"Okay guys! Before you kill me, let me tell you the story of Morgan Freeman," SeaNanners said.

"Well this is gonna be good," Gassy said in his Morgan Freeman voice said, causing everyone to laugh.

"The story of Morgan Freeman is a story of adventure, comedy, drama, romance, and horror-"

"Nope, already bored," Ohm said, he fired his shotgun, until Nanners was pushed into a portal that appeared out of nowhere.

"FFFUUUUCCCKKKK YOU OOOOHHHHMMMM!!!" he yelled as he freefell to whatever was waiting for him...

The portal came back up, spitting out a man wearing only pants and shoes with a knife and grenade strapped to his side.

"I can't believe it, it's fucking Nanners," Vanoss whispered, he then knelt down to him, reached out to him with his hand... and smacked the bastard in DA FACE!!!

"AAHH!!! What the fuck, Vanoss!!!" he yelled at him, but he was stopped by the fact that he was looking at cartoon ponies.

"Eh, I've seen crazier," he said, Twilight fainted from exhaustion, "So what's up?"

"We ended up in a land of ponies, Droidd, Wildcat, Lui, Sark, Nogla, Mini Ladd, Terroriser, and Delirious are here as well... fuckin' Delirious," Vanoss muttered.

"And I'm supposed to do...?" Nanners asked, taking out his knife and twirling it in his fingers, even Evan had to back away from Nanners's crazy personality.

"Okay, so here's the plan..."

Delirious used Pinkie's teleportation physics-breaking power to move along the trees, he could stay like this for a very long time, bu-

*BOOM!!!*

A bomb struck Delirious in the face, well, actually a flashbang, but it had similar effects, like falling down a tree and landing on the forest floor, hard.

"Delirious...", a voice whispered, a voice that chilled the possessed pink pony to the bone.

"Who are you?" he yelled out, in Pinkie's squeaky effeminate voice.

"It's me Delirious, the one thing crazier than you...", it said, the temperature dropped several degrees.

"NO! NO! Nanners!: he tried to run, but Nanners pulled onto his/her tail and let go after a second, causing her to roll into a tree, that wasn't there before.

"Tah Dah motherfucker," Vanoss said, disguised as a tree, who then turned into a concrete block, the others emerged as different props and came out of hiding.

"You'll never take me alive!" he said, he jumped into the air and attempted to air-run away.

Operation Bigfoot.

But instead he ran face first into a satellite dish named Vanoss.

"Hey Delirious, would you like your neck snapped?" Nanners asked him with a creepy ass grin on his face.

"Back away from me!" he yelled.

"NOW DISCORD!!!" Wildcat yelled, Discord appeared out of nowhere and teleported Pinkie onto Delirious, he then snapped his fingers, their bodies turned back into their original selves.

"Yay!!!" Pinkie screamed, back in her original body.

"Motherfucker, how the-"

"Hey Delirious," Nanners said, he then snapped his neck and proceeded to stab him in the face several times.

"You fucking bitch," Delirious said as he respawned.

"Whatever, until the purple pony's magic is charged up, then I can go home and kill you later," Nanners said, smoking a joint.

"Lady Bitch Sparkle, we're back!" Vanoss yelled, Twilight bounded towards hum, she had woken up.

"Is there a problem?" he asked her.

"Actually yes, when I brought your friend, I accidentally brought someone else, I sense darkness and a a lot of obnoxiousness," she explained with worry in her voice.

"Well, whoever it is is going to have to get through us, or we'll kick his ass!" Delirious said optimistically, still recovering from the enormous amount of bruises on his body.

"I hope you guys are right," she said.

The Everfree forest was a dangerous yet peaceful place, but sometimes something has to break it.

Like a random portal from nowhere, that then spits out another human.

This human sported a black shirt, a pair of glasses and an angry scowl on his face, he looked around to see that all of the fauna of Everfree was looking at this newcomer.

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, YOU IDIOTS LOOK LIKE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A HACKER BEFORE!!!" he yelled at them, they then ran off in fear.

"THAT'S RIGHT, RUN YOU COWARDS, RUN FROM THE MIGHT OF DILLON THE HACKER!!!"

Hello guys, RadioBug15, hope you guys enjoy the fic, now when I have finished with this chapter, you guys would probably be thnking:

And

Chapter 7: Run for your life!!!

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 8: Powers and Prisoners

I do not own anything in this fic, so shut your pie holes (both of them!)

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!" Delirious screamed as he opened a door to find hundreds of trolls and CoD squeakers in a single room.

"U mad bro?" They all spoke simultaneously.

Vanoss cocked a shotgun, "Let's wreck some shit up."

And so they will, so they fucking will.

Vanoss and the rest of the crew left the room covered in troll blood along with empty ammunition and pierced eardrums

"I never knew those kids could scream so loud," Wildcat said loudly, rubbing his ears.

"Nevermind that pig, let's find the exit and find a way to go Michael Bay on this motherfucker," Vanoss said.

They kept moving throughout the tunnels disguised as props, hiding from more trolls and ragers.

Vanoss then snuck up behind one.

"Don't you fucking dare Vanoss," Mini Ladd said.

"Too late," Wildcat said, Vanoss turned into a satellite.

Operation Bigfoot.

Vanoss turned back into a can of paint as soon as the troll turned around, but at the same time, Vanoss passed under his legs and turned into a satellite right behind him.

Operation Bigfoot 2.0

Vanoss turned again, but this time into a dumpster, "Ta, dah!" he yelled, the troll whipped around to see Vanoss revert to human form and thwack him across the face with a shovel, knocking him out cold.

"That was fucking amazing!" Delirious said.

"I have an idea, if we follow the trolls, they might take us somewhere," Terroriser informed.

"Good point, let's follow the trolls," Mini Ladd replied sarcastically, Delirious opened one of the trolls bags and found a cookie, he lifted the mask to eat it.

"PUT THE COOKIE DOWN!!!" Terroriser yelled.

The followed the trolls until they reached a room, "Y we use r00m 4 dilon teh hackr?"

"idk, he want 2 kepe prisner 4 turture," the other troll replied.

"Ermahgerd, w3 beter keep le door s4fe," they said.

It pains me to write those sentences with incorrect grammar.

"I can tell, fucker," Delirious replied.

"Are you talking to yourself again?" Mini Ladd asked.

"At least it's better than playing with yourself," Nogla responded.

"Shut the fuck up Nogla, I'm talking to the writer."

"Can you assholes quit it! We just need a way to-"

"PHOTOBOMB!" Vanoss yelled as he pulled out a grenade launcher and fired it at the trolls.

"wtf-"

DOMINATE!

When the smoke cleared, the door was open with Vanoss putting away a phone, "I was bored."

"Figures, let's see who's here," they walked through the door to see hundreds of boxes filled with Youtube trademark items.

"Heh, hilarious," Delirious said, looking at an insanely tiny box.

"Seems pretty messed up," Mini said, pointing at a duck.

"Hey guys look!" Vanoss pointed, there was a man stuck in a cage, wearing a monkey mask and yellow shorts.

"Basically!" Delirious yelled, banging on the cage.

"Wah the fuk? Guys, what're you doing here?" he said.

"Bitch, we're busting you outta here," Delirious said as he planted sticky bombs on the cage.

"At least he didn't bust in a different way," Nogla said.

"Fuck you Nogla!" Delirious said as pressed the button, the bombs exploded, leaving an unharmed BasicallyIDoWrk.

Vanoss walked over and handed him a gun, "Welcome to the crew again, biatch."

"Well I am feeling the love here guys," Basically rolled his eyes.

"Anything else in here?"

I would check the place that has the glowing orb on your right.

"Thanks voice," Delirious said, walking to the room that had a shining orb, the others followed.

"What the fuck is this?"

"Greetings travelers, I am the god of youtube, I am here to grant you magical powers to assist you in your quest to kick Dillon's ass," a voice said.

"True, but what'll you give us?" Terroriser said as he crossed his arms.

"Ah Terroriser, I give you the almighty unlimited ammo retro gun of Arnold Schwarzenegger," a gun appeared from the heavens and dropped into Terroriser's hand.

"I will be so fucking OP with this gun!"

"Not as OP as an ax," Vanoss said.

"In a cornfield," Sark admitted.

"Mini Ladd gets the Molotovs of Michael Bay," several bottles appeared in Mini's hands, causing him to be set on fire.

Mini Ladd stared in magnificence.

"Dude, doesn't that hurt?"

"Beautifully," Mini Ladd answered.

"Daithi De Nogla, you get a chance to not look like a fucking human bulldog," the god of youtube said, suddenly Nogla looked like he did back in the original GTA V.

"Hey! Fuck you, I look amazing!"

"And you couldn't do anything about the adult diapers?"

"Not really, but Sark, you get the power to use slow motion and get an awesome sniper rifle," a rifle appeared in his hands.

"Fucking awesome," Sark said, aiming down the scopes.

"Lui gets the ability to use the Monkey storm."

"What does it do?" Lui asked.

"When you use it, let's just say shit will hit the fan, literally," the youtube god explained.

"What about me?" Wildcat demanded.

"You get the ability to drive the cargobob-tank," just as he said that, a tank with helicopter wings burst through the door.

"It even has machine guns, mini-nuke missiles, and big ass tank shells."

"Damn, this is about as OP as you can get."

"Fuck that, I'm on god mode," the youtube god said.

"What the- heheheheheh, I get it," Wildcat chuckled.

"Droidd, gets the cockatoo blade."

Just as he said that, Droidd was holding a sword in the shape of a dildo, "I finally get my cockatoos," he swung the blade around, "I-I will fuck you up."

"Next is me biatches," Delirious stepped up.

"Delirious gets the power of the wrestler and the assassin."

Delirious was suddenly wearing an assassin robe with hidden blades and all, along with the fighting power of three John Cenas and half a Mayweather.

"I'm finally badass. Imma beat shit up," Delirious said as he unsheathed his blades.

"And finally the leader Vanoss, you are given this," the youtube god handed him a floating wrist gauntlet.

"I would recommend using it now," he said as the youtube god disappeared.

At that time, every troll, squeaker, and rager entered the room, carrying DillontheHacker.

"I demand to know why you are here."

"Because we got lost?" Vanoss lied.

"NO, I WAS TO BE CHOSEN BY THE YOUTUBE GOD, BUT SEVERAL MEDDLING YOUTUBERS GET GIFTS, IMPOSSIBLE!!!!" he yelled.

"Well too bad," Vanoss pressed the button on the wrist gauntlet.

"You think your gifts will stop me? I am supreme!"

"Like hell," Delirious said, everyone poised to use their new weapons.

"ATTACK!" Dillon yelled.

"Standby for Titanfall," the gauntlet said.

Suddenly a Titan broke through the roof and landed behind Vanoss, the robot took him and put him into the mech.

"Prepare to get shit," Vanoss said, he pressed a button, but instead, the Titan slowly began to fly off the ground.

"We're surrounded guys, let's get on the damn Titan," Wildcat said and he grabbed the Titan's leg, as well as everyone else did.

"Goddamit," Vanoss said, hoping for a fight as the mech flew to safety near Twilight's castle...

Author's Note

There were setbacks, don't judge me!

Chapter 9: The Chase

I own neither Vanoss, his crew, or MLP; those belong to their respective owners...

"HOW THE FUCK AM I STILL HOLDING ON?!?!?" Delirious screamed at the top of his lungs as he held onto the flying Titan with all his might, which wasn't much.

"FUCK YOU NARRATORS!!!"

My name is Jeff...

"NO IT'S NOT! NOW HELP US OR SOMETHING!!!"

My name is Jeff...

"ARE YOU GOING TO DO SOMETHING YOU FUCKING BITCH?!?!?!" Delirious screamed.

As I said before, my name is Jeff...

"FINE JEFF!!! HELP US!!!!"

Just kidding fucker, my name is not actually Jeff, but it was still fucking funny!!!

Fuck you asshat, I'm the one narrating this, the only thing that could get rid of me is Dead-

Hey asshole, so I heard you were a creator.

No... not Deadpool from Earth-12101 AKA Deadpool Killustrated!!

That's right, I hope you like diced human sushi, cuz I sure do...

There was mental silence in Delirious' head as he still held onto the Vanoss-controlled Titan.

"Narrator? Narrator? Where are you?" he asked.

"Who the fuck are you talking to Delirious?!" the pig-masked man asked.

"Your mother! She's asking when I'm coming for Meatloaf Night!" Delirious snapped at him.

"How the hell do you know about-"

"Cause I'm a sneaky motherfucker, bitch!" he yelled.

As their argument continued, another one sparked as Terroriser spoke to Daithi.

"Hey Daithi. I want you to have Bofa," he said.

"Bofa? What the fuck is Bo- oh no! You fucking bitch I wil-"

(PAUSE!!!)

It was at this moment when Nogla knew...

He was fucked.

(PLAY!!!)

Wildcat suddenly heard and joined the conversation.

"BOFA DEEZ NUTZ, BITCH!!!" Wildcat said as he kicked the pug-faced man off the Titan.

"YOU FUCKING BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled at the top of his lungs as he fell closer and closer to the ground beneath him.

Despite the constant arguments and the roaring of the jetpacks that kept the Titan aloft , it was almost quiet as they heard the almost silent splat as the ground face-fucked Nogla.

Moments late he respawned back on the Titan, clutching onto a random metal piece.

"You assholes!" he yelled at the others as they laughed at him.

"Uh, guys. There seems to be trouble heading this way," Vanoss said through the audio speakers in his Titan armor.

"What kinda trouble," Delirious said.

"Um... explosive trouble," Vanoss said.

"So, your asshole?" Delirious said, everyone laughed at Vanoss as Delirous roasted him with that just that one comment.

"Fuck you Delirious, I meant that," Vanoss said as he moved one of the levers, causing one of the hands to move back and point in the backwards direction.

"So, still your asshole?" Delirious said again, causing more laughing fits.

"Pay attention you dick, turn around!" Vanoss yelled.

As they turned around, they saw several things coming towards them.

Several suspiciously missile-shaped objects heading towards them at high speeds.

"Oh shit! Dillon's got firepower, how the hell did he get that?" Mini Ladd asked.

"He probably stole it from the dark recesses of 4chan," Wildcat said.

"Yeah, he stole the shit because even something as dark as 4chan wouldn't want that little ranting shit," Terroriser pointed out.

For once, that was something everyone agreed to.

"Besides, how did you see the things in the first place?" Lui asked.

"I have a mini-map on the HUD," Vanoss simply said.

"You have a HUD!!" Delirious yelled.

"Yeah, otherwise it wouldn't work, ya dumb shit," Nogla said.

"Fuck you Nogla," Delirious said.

"I also have iTunes and a button that says 'press only if missiles are chasing after you, you'll thank me later. Well, Delirious might thank me later because he and Pinkie are the only ones that can hear me and I'll probably reveal myself later in the story once I try to get rid of Deadpool as he is trying to kill me at the moment (Ooh! Foreshadowing!!). But yeah, press the fucking button'," Vanoss read aloud.

"That must be a huge button," Basically said while no one bothered to look at Delirious, knowing that the button mentioned his name.

"Nah, it's really small, I've been trying to read this thing the whole time," Vanoss said.

"Well there are missiles chasing after us and we'll thank the video game gods later," Wildcat said when he saw that the missiles were getting closer.

"Okay, here goes nothing..."

Immediately, the back of the Titan suddenly shifted until it was a smooth metallic floor similar to the Helicarrier from the Avengers. The next thing that happened was twelve turrets ascended from the floor's hidey-holes around the edges.

"Why the hell does a Titan have all these things, how does this one even know how to fly?" Mini Ladd asked as he attempted to adjust himself to the speed of the giant robot suit.

"Fuck yeah! Wait, why are there twelve turrets when there are eleven of us hanging onto the Titan?" Wildcat asked.

"Dunno probably because-"

"My name is Jeff," a voice said.

"Fuck you narrator!" Delirious screamed.

That...wasn't... me! OH SHIT!!!

Get over here narrator!!

Fuck you!

Delirious looked forward to see a familiar face from a specific zombie game.

"It's Jeff!" Nogla yelled.

"My name is Jeff," he said.

"C'mon, let's wreck some shit up!" Delirious said as he climbed onto one of the turrets and aimed at one of missiles and fired, but not before being shit on by a bird.

"Haha, even the birds hate you!" Sark said as the rest of them climbed onto the turrets.

"Hey Vanoss, it would be cool if you played music while we did this," Nogla said.

"You read my mind Nogla," Vanoss said as he scrolled through the playlist and selected one of the songs.

The turret barrels revved up and spun as the bullets began to spew endlessly as they struck each missile that attempted to even touch them.

The bullets that made contact with each opposing missile led to the ultimate fiery and explosive destruction of their metal casings, causing the surrounding missiles to explode as well.

"Hey guys, if this was a movie, who would've directed this?"

"MICHAEL BAY BITCHES!!!" everyone yelled.

"My name is Jeff," Jeff was the only one that said something different.

"Hold onto your asses, things are about to get a little bumpy," Vanoss informed the others as they suddenly grabbed onto the railings that were built onto the turrets.

Vanoss twisted the controls on the control panel.

The Titan suddenly began to twist and spin to avoid the missiles (do a barrel roll!). The flying Iron Giant with Vanoss inside watched as the missiles crashed into each other as they attempted to crash into the Titan.

Unfortunately after several minutes of pulling awesome stunts and tricks, two of the missiles managed to get lucky and reached the Titan.

The first one struck the turret that held Jeff, the turret station exploded in fiery glory as Jeff was incinerated into ashes.

"No! Not Jeff!" Nogla yelled.

"My name is Jeff..."

"Why Jeff, why did it have to be Jeff?!?! Why not Delirious!?!" Vanoss yelled.

"Fuck you!!" Delirious screamed at him.

"We have no time to mourn! Right now we must avenge his death with more bullets!" Terroriser yelled.

That was when the second missile struck. The rocket reached the side of the Titan and exploded on contact.

"Holy fuck!" Vanoss yelled as he looked at the screen and inspected the shields.

90% remaining.

"How?!?!" Vanoss yelled as he suddenly saw a sticker that was beginning to peel off. He reached for the sticker and looked at it.

Made in Germany, no seriously this shit's legit.

"What the hell?" Vanoss said to himself as he continued to fly the Titan robot.

"Vanoss!!" he heard Delirious yell.

"What is it?" Vanoss asked.

"Look," Delirious said.

Vanoss turned the screen around to look at Delirious was gesturing to.

He saw as hundreds of smaller missiles moving at a faster pace began to quickly approach the Titan.

"Vanoss! Vanoss!" Delirious screamed.

"What do a barrel roll!" Wildcat screamed in his best Peppy voice.

"Fuck yeah!" Vanoss screamed as he performed continuous 360s.

Unfortunately, the missiles were not fooled by this overused move and charged straight for the Titan.

75%, that was the amount of damage that the first missile created, and this little fucker was followed by a dozen more.

"How!?!" Vanoss yelled as the shields dropped. He then saw a sticker next to the manufacturing country and peeled that back.

Made by the east side of German, sorry.

50%

Fuck! Vanoss thought to himself as he searched through the Titan's screen.

40%

Vanoss continued desperately to search for a safe place to land.

20%, two more struck.

He then saw a small mountain in the distance, and on top of that was a castle.

10%

"Guys! We're...uh about to... uh make a rough landing, so you should uh... fasten your seatbelts and uh... prepare to die," Vanoss said in his best pilot voice.

"Oh okay... wait what!" Marcel screamed.

3%, the last missile hit the Titan.

The giant metal behemoth grew closer to the glass windows.

"Brace for impact!!!" Vanoss yelled as the Titan collided with the window.

Author's Note

I'm back and with another chapter of Vanoss' crews' adventures, enjoy this one because I got another one coming in a little bit.

Chapter 10: No time to explain, this is war!

I don't own anything, MLP belongs to Hasbro while Vanoss and his crew belong to themselves. Also, anything else belongs to it's own respected place.

Twilight ran as fast as she could to the Throne room, the guards made no attempt to stop her due to her recent royalty.

Eventually, she finally approached Princesses Celestia and Luna.

"Princess Celestia-"

"Now, Twilight. what have I told you before? You can call me Celestia. You are part of the royal family now after all," she corrected the lavender alicorn.

"Okay, Celestia. I have amazing news," she said.

"You finally found a mate?" Luna said.

"What? No, aliens from another dimension have came here," she finally said.

Several things happened at once. Celestia spit out her tea, Luna froze for about five minutes in shock, and a Legendary Deathclaw Alpha Male erupted from the ground and killed everyone.

Okay, I was just kidding about the Deathclaw.

For several minutes, there was silence.

...

"What!!!" she yelled.

"Look I have no time to explain but-"

"How long have you known of this?" Luna asked.

"About two weeks, but-"

"TWO WEEKS!?!? And you never told us?" Luna yelled.

"It wasn't on my mind at the time, but look-"

"No Twilight, remember. You may be a princess, but your job is to still send more friendship reports."

Twilight sat there in slight guilt, "I'm sorry."

"It's forgiven, what were you about to say?" she asked.

"Okay, we don-"

As soon as she started her sentence, a giant metal heap crashed through the window and landed on the other side of the room, which then proceeded to burst into flames.

Again, there was stunned silence.

Twilight slowly approached the heap, the guards were right behind her while the princesses were watching from afar.

The purple pony lifted her hoof and slowly poked it.

Nothing happened.

"All right, it's all sa-"

"AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!!!!" a voice screamed out from the machine.

"COMIN' AGAIN TO SAVE THE MOTHERFUCKIN' DAY NOW!!!"

Everypony in the room screamed at what just occurred.

The hatch at the top opened up, revealing a familiar man.

"All right assholes, get out now! We got- oh... sup Twilight," he said.

"Evan? What are you doing here?" she asked him.

"Don't have much time to explain. Guys! Get the fuck out!" he yelled.

"Ow, what the fuck happened!" a man with a hockey mask said.

"DELIRIOUS!!" Pinkie yelled as she pounced on top of him, the rest of the Mane 6 entered the room.

"Get the fuck off of me you pink bitch!!" he yelled as he pushed her off of me.

"Howdy Wildcat," Applejack said to the man in the pig mask.

"Sup Apple," he coughed as he waved off the smoke that was emitting from the machine.

"Holy shit you guys fucked this thing up," SeaNanners said.

"I can say the same for you," Rainbow said with a smirk, her arrogance coming to her for no apparent reason (for the sake of the fucking plot!)

"Hey, I may have third degree burns at the moment, but that doesn't mean you have to be a bitch about it! Oh wait, third degree burns..." he said as he fell over.

"I-I think I may need some help por favor," Droidd said as he was dragging Lui away from the flames, Fluttershy rushed over to help.

"Oh you poor things, d-do you have a nurse to help?" she asked one of the guards, who nodded and left to retrieve a nurse while Fluttershy did her best to assist them.

"Mini! Terroriser! Daithi! Are you both alright?" Rarity asked the two.

"Oy, we're alright," Terroriser said.

"Yeah, never better," Nogla also said.

It was at that time when Basically finally emerged from the smoldering ruins.

"Jeezus H. Christ, can someone get a fucking firefighter to fix this!?!" he said as he fell to the floor.

He was still surprised by the fact that the inhabitants were ponies, until he saw Fluttershy.

"Holy shit! It's you!"

"M-me?" she said nervously.

"Yeah, you were at that dance party."

"I don't remember being at a party, except for Pinkie's," she answered.

Pinkie slowly backed away before anyone remembers she has a costume of Fluttershy.

Vanoss accidentally lost his footing and bumped over one of the things on the metal heap.

The device clattered to the floor before it lit up, revealing a man in a red monk robe.

"Greetings Vanoss, I am RadioBug, but you can call me RB," he said.

"Holy shit. A tiny monk.... I'm high as fuck," Seananners said.

"I can assure you, you are high. I am a hologram left by my original self, my objective is to help you on this mission to remove the one known as Dillion from both the world and the internet," he explained to everyone.

"You know who he sounds like?" Wildcat asked Mini.

"Who?"

"Delta from Red Vs Blue," he said.

"Which one is he?"

"He's the green one."

"Oh yeah," he remembered.

"So why come to us?" Vanoss asked the holographic construct.

"You guys are growing fast in the Youtube community, and your fluctuations in subscribers led to you coming here," he explained to Vanoss.

""But why here?" he asked.

RB sighed, "The multiverse is divided into many realities known as realms, universes created by an old but pestering friend of mine. Your coming here was a complete and random probability."

"Huh, so how do we kill Dillon?" Wildcat asked him.

"At this point, he's already indestructible. But if you can weaken him enough, my said friend can banish him to a prison powerful enough to contain him."

"And how do we weaken him?"

"Well, not with just you guys," he then pointed at a small box.

Delirious picked up the box, "Dafuq is this supposed to be?"

"Open it," RB said.

Without hesitating, he flipped open the cover.

As soon as the cover was flipped, a huge ball of light left the box and zoomed off to a nearby mountain and exploded into another big ball of light.

"What the fuck was that?"

RB broke his concentration, "That was your reinforcements. The entire Internet army."

"What!?!?"

"With the help of Reddit and a few 4chan helpers, we spread the message to get rid of Dillon, but the problem is, we need three generals to lead these armies. The first general is you, Vanoss."

"Holy fuck, why me?" Vanoss asked.

"You already have a crew. Also, we have seen you in the future, you will soon display great leadership," RB pointed out.

"And the second general?"

"The most subscribed to Youtuber of all," he opened a portal made of light and two people emerged.

"What's up bros," the man said.

"No fucking way," Wildcat whispered.

"My name is Pewdiepie!" he said.

"And Marzia!" the girl beside him said.

"Oh shit, we got Pewds on our team. How can the third general be any better?" Delirious said.

"You'll see," he then turned to Wildcat, "You mentioned him in your Pokemon Alpha Sapphire/Omega Ruby videos."

"Pokemon...? Oh shit, oh shit! It is?!?! It really is!?!?!"

"That's right, but he needed the assistance of my friend that I mentioned earlier, may I present..."

The portal of light opened up to reveal an Asian man in his early to mid 20s, he wore a pair of glasses, with a bluish colored buttoned shirt along with a messy mop of hair.

Right next to him was a strange creature wearing a black lycra suit.

"Alright, let's fuck some shit up," he said.

The creature only spoke six words unrecognizable to the English language.

"ORE WA OCHINCHIN GA DAISUKI DAYO!"

Let's get started.

Author's Note

One helluva plot twist right guys?

Chapter 11: It's time for war!!! (War-Part 1)

I do not own MLP or Vanoss.

“Ah’ve got a question.”

Applejack was left to blink, her answer being the loud composition of hundreds of rounds being loaded into hundreds of guns. Swords, bats, sabers, and fly swatters swung in the air. Grenades were tossed upward. Crates of ammunition were pushed across the carpeted floor. Vehicles here and there drove slowly so as to avoid accidental collision.

She blinked once again, the cold, speech-absent air reaching her brow and causing it to sweat involuntarily. Licking her lips, she spoke, “...what are y’all plannin’ ta do-”

“We’re planning on launching a full-scale war against a braces-wearing squeaker wannabe bitch and his completely fucking stupid army that is backing him up, not to mention said bitch is basically invulnerable and hence impossible to kill, and our army may not be able to kill said bitch since we don’t have as many people as said bitch, and not to also mention that said bitch is hiding inside of a large, impenetrable Vault that would make the Enclave roar with fury over not having raided five years ago, and our battlefield is a bunch of grassy mountains and hills that are about to be as bloody as a fuckin’ God of War game.”

Applejack’s jaw dropped.

Behind her, the rest of her friends, even Fluttershy, mimicked the action.

Delirious cocked his assault shotgun as he finished, the mask frowning at the mares despite the obvious smile under it. Looking to his left, he raised a hand to his mouth and called, “Hey, Vanoss!”

The Canadian called back, his owl mask staring into Oblivion and all the hells within, “What do you want.”

“What’s today?”

Vanoss rolled his eyes and raised his wrist, glaring at his Pimp-Boy 3 Billion, “It’s Tuesday.”

Delirious chuckled, then looked back at the mares and shrugged, “Figures. You guys want a gun too?”

“No.”

“Well…”

“I’d rather not, dear.”

“I’m fine.”

“Ah’ll be okay-”

”YES I DO!”

Delirious raised his arms up to brace himself, only for his attempts to be fruitless as a pink blur knocked him to the ground. Groaning, he felt hundreds of hooves scrambling around his body and shrugged it off as pain-induced. Head rising off the ground, his eyes widened as he realized that this was not so.

Pinkie Pie looked back up at him, her lips pressed outward into open air as she stared. Moving her body slightly, her extra legs shrank back into her body, and she resumed her prior position to observe Delirious’ statue expression. Slowly, her tail rose, and with it was Delirious’ RPG.

A glare drew on his brow.

Pinkie had the opposite, dropping the rocket launcher as she zipped to Delirious’ left, allowing him to get up. As he dusted himself off, his teeth gritting violently, he glanced to where the pink mare had gone and balled his fists, spying her atop a pile of crates with a hoof stuck inside one.

Sticking her tongue out, Delirious could have sworn she was reaching into another universe.

“Hey! Get the fuck off that you fuckin’ bitch!”

Drawing her hoof up, a large Anti-Materiel Rifle suddenly aimed at Delirious’ head with the assistance of the curious Pinkie Pie. Delirious’ Assassin pants gained a new, very brown, very disgusting friend.

Wildcat suddenly strode up, a hand on his chest, “Holy shit Delirious, you should see the look on your fuckin’ face! You look like you just fuckin’ shit yourself-”

POOM

Wildcat flew backward violently, his head connecting with the ground in less than a second.

The room was silent, all eyes fixated on the pink mare currently blinking rapidly.

Wildcat’s blood pool expanded. A certain YouTuber adjusted his pink mustache and stepped away from the staining red trail without a word. Delirious watched as the pig’s body disappeared, then glared back up at Pinkie.

She grinned from ear-to-ear nervously, then dropped the fifty-caliber rifle onto the floor…

...which discharged on impact, exploded, and launched a bullet that bounced off a nearby rock, pinged across a plate of bulletproof shielding, and flew into a recently respawned Wildcat’s skull.

He fell back to the ground, dead yet again in the span of two more seconds of his life.

It was Twilight’s turn to glare. Sighing, she lit her horn, levitating Pinkie Pie off the crate and back onto the ground next to her. The pink mare gave her friends a toothy grin. Applejack flattened her lips. Fluttershy’s lower lip trembled in fright. Rarity straightened herself with a cough.

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was in the air, a complete look of awe on her face. She looked as if she had just witness Reptile and was a short, red-haired Canadian who obsessed over invisibility and babies while dropping numerous shields across numerous battlegrounds.

From a little ways away, Nogla was laughing, a finger pointing a Wildcat’s new dead body.

“You got fuckin’ wrecked, Tyler!”

A fist flew into his face and knocked him to the ground. As he writhed in pain, he looked back up and found a black Spartan glaring down at him. He immediately turned back to the ground, covering his head with both hands.

The Spartan turned her head, giving a thumbs up to Wildcat, who silently gave a wave of his hand back. She swiveled, finding six more Spartans looking expectantly at her with guns in their hands. One held a bright blue sword. Another held an assault rifle upside down, his eyes looking elsewhere.

She balled both her fists, then tensed her body toward the group.

They instantly reacted, turning tail and sprinting the other way. One blue one looked around, confused, before nodding and joining the others at a call of, “Caboose, let’s fuckin’ go!”

“Oh! Okay!” He looked back and waved. “Bye Tex!”

The black Spartan waved back, then gave one final kick into Nogla’s stomach. He choked on something in his throat and held his gut, sputtering out a failed curse. As Tex stepped over his body, she spoke simply, “You should consider plastic surgery.”

“Oh fock you! I don’t even look ugly anymore!”

Tex strode off to other sections of the room.

Nogla continued to groan in pain as Wildcat walked up to him. The pig chuckled lightly, then looked back up at Delirious and waved, “So, you ready to kick some ass Delirious?”

Delirious adjusted his hood, making sure it was ready in case he had to put it up quickly. Its blue color matched his sweater from GTA, and he swore he would try to find a way to bring them into the game if the option was there. Bending over, he picked up his previously stolen RPG and stuffed it back into his dick. Throwing his hands out, he unleashed his hidden blades and smirked under his mask.

“Fuck yeah. Can’t believe y’all got a fuckin’ flyin’ tank though.”

Wildcat scratched the back of his neck, the hand avoiding the pair of goggles sitting atop the white helmet. “Yeah, she’s quite a badass ain’t she?” He looked at the tank in question. Its yellow exterior would blind any mere mortal, but Wildcat’s pig mask had certain powers that only he knew of.

That is to say, Wildcat was a mere mortal.

Like, the merest fucking mortal you could ever witness in your life. It’s kind of embarrassing.

“Think I’m gonna call her the Flying Banana-”

“That’s fuckin’ gaaaay-”

A bullet flew into Nogla’s skull.

Wildcat lowered his heavy pistol, then placed it back into his inventory. Blowing air out, his eyes landed on Delirious.

They continued their conversation casually.

“You know how ta work that fuckin’ thing, Wildcat?”

The pig blew a raspberry, “‘course I fuckin’ know how ta use it. Please, when it comes to flying banana tanks fitted with nuke launchers and miniguns, I wrote the fuckin’ book.” He raised said book, pointing to its cover image, “See?” Said image featured a majestic, flying pig sitting atop the Flying Banana, piles of dead bodies sitting around it and coating its armor plates in blood as it assumingly strode across a battlefield to fuck shit up.

Delirious blinked.

“Huh.”

“Hey guys.”

The two turned toward the voice’s source, watching as Mini Laddd strode up to them, his hands full of his god-gifted molotovs. Sucking in air as if it were his last puffs, he sputtered, “Do you- do you guys know how to keep bottles from exploding in your face?”

“No you stupid ass. What do I look like, the bottle-not-exploding guy?” Wildcat asked, hands at his hips and a glare on his brow.

Mini blinked at the pig, a blank expression plastered on his face. “Seriously? It’s, like, it’s not even that hard-”

“Then do it yourself Mini. I don’t have time to deal with this, I gotta suit up and shit.”

“That was the gayest shit I’ve ever-”

“No, I need ta take a fuckin’ shit.” Delirious turned his head to look back at the mares still watching him in silence. Waving his hands, he asked, “Hey, purple, where’s the bathroom?”

“Purple? Excuse me?” Twilight asked, eyebrows raised.

“Your name sucks.”

“My name is Twilight-”

“Exactly.”

…

…

Twilight sighed, then threw a hoof to her right. “Down the hall, second door on the right. There might be some guards, the password is Swordfish.” She frowned as Delirious practically flew past her. As she shook her head, she lit her horn and magicked the remains of the Anti-Materiel Rifle into a nearby trash bin.

Clearing her throat, she found conflict as the pieces fought desperately from fitting inside. Feeling her heart beat slightly faster, she screwed up her face and shoved it harder with her magic. The pieces didn’t give.

Twilight growled, then let the bin be and flung it across the room, where it landed on Nogla, who shouted in anguish as the burnt remnants spilled out and met his body. As he writhed in absolute agony, the mare stepped back and grimaced. Wildcat laughed at his friend’s expense, then flinched as a hand grasped his shoulder. Turning to the new visitor, he was met with a menacing owl mask.

“What’s goin’ on over here, then?”

“Oh, Nogla’s just bein’ a dick again.”

“Fuck... you, Tyler! God, I can’t feel my focking legs! Someone help me up!”

“Hey,” Mini Laddd suddenly said, “you guys wanna talk about how shitty we all think Nogla is?”

Nogla let out a bloodcurdling roar into the air. The rest of the armory-goers went about their business normally, completely uncaring for the Irish ~~sack of shit~~ ~~super-cool guy. Nogla sighed, then tried to scratch his eyes out with his fingers. “Oh my~~ Gooooood~~....”~~

~~At that mention, a lone figure stepped toward Nogla, his huge lava beard practically touching the floor. He looked down at Nogla with a straight face.~~

~~The Irishman looked up at God.~~

~~God looked down at the Irishman.~~

~~“You suck.”~~

~~And God disappeared with a poof.~~

~~Nogla whimpered, “Oh…”~~

~~“Whoa, hey guys!”~~

~~“Oh, hey Lui-”~~

~~“So, I’ve been going over the battlefield plan and I have a few questions, if you don’t mind…?”~~

~~Vanoss nodded curtly, “Yeah, sure. Dick. What do you want to change in my really good plan, Lui.”~~

~~“Well, for starters, this plan,” he raised it up, “is just a poorly drawn blueprint with a really bad pun.” The words~~ Hoo Dares Wins! ~~were stenciled across the top of the sheet of paper. Vanoss crossed his arms.~~

~~“I don’t see what the problem is-”~~

~~“Look. I wanna kill this squeaker as much as.. like~~ all ~~of you. Like, seriously, this is like a mission of mine? You know? I have to do this.” At that exact moment, the low sound of something rolling met the monkey-masked man’s ears, and he and the others turned their heads to look at the source.~~

~~A baseball had found its way over to Nogla, the small object sitting next to his head.~~

~~Lui gulped.~~

~~He looked to the right and across the room, watching as a white and black figure stood silently, a baseball cap atop his head and a likewise colored bat propped atop his shoulder. He stared at Lui coldly, his hat hiding any facial features he could have otherwise presented.~~

~~Also at that exact moment, Delirious ran back into the room, his hands adjusting his Assassin crested belt as he fumbled toward his friends and brushed past the mares. Clearing his throat, he looked toward Nogla and asked with a laugh, “Hey Lui, is that your baseball-”~~

~~“No.”~~

~~Delirious flinched, then stepped toward Nogla and delivered a swift kick into his head. The potato~~ fucker ~~farmer held his head in response. Delirious walked back to his friends and simply spoke, “Couldn’t help myself.”~~

~~“Don’t blame ya,” Wildcat said, smacking his lips. Rubbing his stomach, he groaned, “Oh man, I’m fuckin’~~ hungry~~. You guys know if there’s any~~ food ~~in this fuckin’ place?”~~

~~“You fatass, no wonder you’re a fuckin’ pig Tyler-”~~

~~“Don’t make me shoot you in your ugly face, Nogla.”~~

~~“~~They literally gave me my old face back from last gen you focking asshole!~~”~~

~~Wildcat responded silently, pulling out a bullpup shotgun and cocking it with ease. Nogla was left to groan once more on the floor, his hands trying to shove the garbage bin off his body. Succeeding, he rolled over and got off the floor to dust himself off, the sounds of the trash can bouncing off the ground finding their way into his ears.~~

~~As his mind thought back to that dickhead black Spartan, he frowned, crossed his arms, and rolled his eyes as he opened up his Interaction Menu. Sifting through what he currently had, he finally found what he wanted and felt the paper bag suddenly appear over his head. Fixing its position to better comfort him, he heard a sound to his left and looked toward it.~~

~~Lui cocked his assault shotgun.~~

~~Wildcat reloaded his heavy pistol.~~

~~Vanoss aimed his carbine rifle.~~

~~Delirious pulled his baseball bat out of his dickhole.~~

~~Mini tossed a few molotovs to himself.~~

~~The black Spartan, Tex, from earlier had apparently come back, and was now patting a bright orange traffic cone against an open palm.~~

~~Nogla opened his Interaction Menu once more, figuring out the name of his paper bag.~~

~~It was at that moment that he realized he was wearing the mask that explicitly, simply, very boldly said,~~ PLEASE KILL ME~~, across it.~~

~~And it was at that moment that he realized he had fucked up.~~

~~Nogla’s paper bag gained many an extra hole that day.~~

~~And the unfortunate carpet in the Canterlot Castle’s Armory would not be fully cleaned of blood until the holiday of the next year.~~

~~They were ready, and it was time for war.~~

~~In under five minutes, thanks to the help of the internet factions, they managed to completely fortify all of Canterlot. Dillon must've had one hell of an army.~~

~~Besides the city being covered in thick armor plates meant to defend against a war (a war that will come very, very soon). Three towers stood above rest: the first was Vanoss', which had similarities involving his friends. A giant billboard stood above the tower saying one annoying word that could topple any other word.~~

Hoodini!!!

~~"Goddammit Evan!" Tyler said to Vanoss.~~

~~On the right stood the tower of Papa Franku, or as we informally called him: Filthy Frank. Inside was a giant mess (also known as the Cornucopia of Filth). Various screams from Pink guy and Chin Chin were heard from the tower. The place was so chaotic, it could turn Discord into Austin Powers.~~

~~In the center of the three was the last: Pewdiepie's. A completely random yet orderly place filled with ducks, obscenities and video game stuff.~~

~~Vanoss peered from the window to see a vast army, which even from his view, he could tell which part belonged to which part of the internet.~~

~~Some people wore cartoonish robotic helmets along with their armor: Reddit; other people used guns shaped like bananas while wearing black shirts with a 9 on it: 9gag. The last was made up of a clusterfuck of different people wearing~~ extremely ~~obscene articles of clothing. Even Vanoss gave a shudder in their presence: 4chan.~~

~~He looked down to see famous youtubers and others: Markiplier, who was in the guise of Wilfred Warfstache. The Fine Bros were going to film this so they could add this to their channel. The guy from Honest Trailers was there to witness it so he could make a brutally honest opinion on these events.~~

~~Suddenly, rumbling could be heard from afar. Vanoss picked up a sniper rifle and peered through the scope.~~

~~"General Frank and Pewds, our first wave of baddies are the Weaboos," he said into a walkie-talkie.~~

~~"Why the fuck am I not surprised!!!!" the man yelled, causing Evan to pull away from it, staring at the machine for a few seconds.~~

~~"It seems they're being led by... who's Weaboo Jones?"~~

~~There was silence for the first few seconds.~~

~~"Ey b0s, can u gibe da p0sy pls?" Pink guy said through Frank's radio.~~

~~"Vanoss?" Franku said.~~

~~"Wut?"~~

~~"I'll lead this attack first," he whispered in anger.~~

~~Suddenly RB appeared next to Vanoss, along with someone completely covered in a black robe, his face concealed as well.~~

~~"It seems that a certain someone wants to call you," he said to Evan, handing him his phone.~~

~~"Thanks, who's this guy?" he motioned to the one dressed in black.~~

~~"Oh him? This is my successor, Yamsmos. I trust that in the event of my destruction, he would take my place."~~

~~"Sup," he said.~~

~~"You too," Vanoss said, turning on the phone.~~

~~"YOU IMBECILES!!! YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE FULL MIGHT OF ME? DILLON THE HACKER? I TAKE YOU FOR IDIOTS IF YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP ME, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"~~

~~"Hold on, I got something that could do the trick," RB said, a ball of energy formed in his hands and he tossed it at Vanoss, who was enveloped in the energy.~~

~~Vanoss gave him a confused look, "Go ahead, punch him through the screen," RB said.~~

~~"-AHAHAHAHAHA- OW!!!!" Dillon screamed as Vanoss sucker punched him in the eye.~~

~~"YOU WILL PAY FOR THA-"~~

~~"Thank you off button," Vanoss said as he handed it back to RB.~~

~~"I need to get back to working on another project. Also pay attention, Frank's finally given the first command," he said as he disappeared.~~

~~A shot rang out, which was then followed with two words: Reality check!!!~~

~~His radio sparked to life, "Weaboo Jones has been killed."~~

~~"Alright, let's get some air support," Vanoss told him.~~

~~"ON IT!!" Wildcat yelled as he rode on his Flying Banana Tank-Chopper, leading a group of VTOL choppers.~~

~~"Wildcat has decided to get some help from the NCR, the Brotherhood of Steel, and the Enclave remnants," he heard a voice.~~

~~"Alright assholes, let's go!" Vanoss told the crew, not wanting to spend the rest of the fight in a tower like a goddamn Disney princess.~~

~~RB popped back into existence, "Where are you going?! Your supposed to lead your army."~~

~~"What does it look like, bitch? I'm leading on the front lines," he said as he jumped off the tower, which resulted in a splat, causing him to respawn on top of the tower again.~~

~~"Fine, I'll take the goddamn stairs," Vanoss mumbled as he walked down the spiral stairs.~~

~~RB watched as the fight finally started. Discord finally popped out of nowhere, along with Chin Chin.~~

~~"So how do you think this fight'll end?" Discord asked, laying down on a garden chair, wearing sunglasses, and munching on a box of popcorn, eating both the box and the popcorn.~~

~~"Ore Wa!" Chin Chin screamed.~~

~~"I know, I know. They may not be the best fighters, the smartest, or strongest. But they certainly are the luckiest, which will be enough to contain and remove Dillon. Still got that cell Chin-Chin? "~~

~~"Ore wa ochinchin ga daisuki nandayo," he nodded.~~

~~"Good. Hey Discord, do you have an extra box of popcorn," RB asked.~~

~~"Of course," he said, snapping his fingers.~~

~~RB grabbed the popcorn in midair and watched the ensuing battle on a folding chair while Chin-Chin crouched on the ground.~~

~~This is gonna be fun.~~

Author's Note

I hope you enjoy this chapter. I give full credit to Yamsmos, who wrote a majority of this chapter and I thank him fully. (This is only part one, part two will come soon)

I also recommend you read his H2O Delirious fic "Outta My Mind" (no I did not get paid to write this), my fic's sole successor.