Part 1: Maids and Movie Stars

It's Friday evening, and I'm standing in the living area of the penthouse suite in the most expensive hotel in Canterlot, straightening out my all-too-short skirt. I was told that I'd meet my companions for the weekend here. It's really breath-taking. The living area is furnished richly with a large dining table and several sofas in a half-circle around the fireplace. The large windows also give a magnificent view of the city. There's three large bedrooms to one side and a luxurious bathroom off to the other.

“French maid,” I mumble to myself. “I'm not sure, if this is her idea of a joke or if she really believes that this is what a real maid would wear in France. Then again, most humans would make that mistake.”

Making sure that the white lace headband is sitting straight, I take a moment to admire the effect of the black high heels combined with the stockings and garter-belt. It doesn't actually look too trashy, I have to admit. Of course the real eye-catcher is the low-cut décolleté. It kinda makes me feel a little nostalgic. Reminds me of way back when, even though Cadence couldn't have known about that.

Then I can hear an upbeat voice from the other side of the door. “Lighten up, Shadow. We're on vacation! It's not even a real vacation, since it's only for the weekend.”

“It's a vacation for me, and an unwanted one at that. I usually do my paper work on the weekends,” a second, darker voice replies.

“Do you do anything besides work?”

“Do you do anything besides play around, Jet? I hope you didn't lose the key.”

“Hey, I'm a professional too, you know. That's exactly why I sometimes need to unwind. You should try it sometime, and if I'd really lost the key, you could still use your lock-picking skills to open the door.”

I stand up straight and face the door, waiting to greet them as they enter. From what I've heard, they're two big-shots, serving more or less directly under the Princesses, though they're not Royal Guards in the traditional sense.

There's a pause outside. “You did lose the key, didn't you?”

“Shut up. If you hadn't tempted the gods of irony with that statement just now, I'd still have it on me.”

There's a sigh. “How can you even lose a key on the way from the lobby up to your room? Wait here. I'll go back to the reception and get us a new one.”

I tilt my head slightly. Equestria's Finest, huh? Might as well let them in, I think as I move forward and open the door for them.

The one who is standing right in front of me, is a pegasus with a blue coat, silver mane and amber eyes. Although he's clad leisurely with brown shorts and sandals from the waist down, his t-shirt and scarf bear the tell-tale blue and yellow of the Wonderbolts.

The other stallion, who was just about to turn around and get back into the elevator, is a unicorn in a black suit. With his dark grey coat and blue mane, he'd probably be invisible in the dark of the night, although his golden eyes do seem to have a mysterious shine to them. He looks different from other unicorns I've seen. The tips of his ears are tufted for one thing. Could he be one of those rare night ponies?

I clear my throat and pick up the hem of my skirt slightly while doing a little curtsy. “Welcome, masters. I'm Julie LeBlanc, and I'll be serving you this weekend.”

They both look at me in astonishment, though the pegasus is quite clearly not looking into my eyes. “Nice tits.”

“Er, thanks?” Boy, and I thought Sam was blunt! Is this an Equestrian thing?

The unicorn closes the distance between us quickly and gives him a slight slap against the back of his head. “I apologize for my colleague Jetstream, Ms. LeBlanc. Sometimes his mouth is faster than his brain. I'm Shadow Spell,” he says with a polite inclination of his head.

“That's alright,” I say quickly. It's not the first comment like that I've ever heard after all. “Please, do come in. Let me get your bags.”

“Don't worry, I got it,” Jetstream quickly interjects, probably in an attempt to make up for his blunder, and picks up their two duffle bags.

Closing the door behind them, I say: “Please have a seat. Can I get you some drinks? The bar is fully stocked.”

After dumping the bags unceremoniously in a corner, Jetstream plunks himself down on one of the sofas. “I wouldn't mind some Champagne. We've got reason to celebrate.”

“Vodka Martini. Shaken, not stirred,” Shadow Spell adds quietly, taking a place opposite from his friend.

“Hey, that's a pretty good Sean Connery impression,” I comment as I begin preparing the drinks. Movies are always a great ice-breaker.

But he simply stares at me blankly. “Who?”

“Er, he's a human actor. Plays a secret agent named James Bond. You're a lot like him, from what I've heard.”

“Hm.” So much for the ice-breaking. Is it just me or did the temperature just drop. I suppose they wouldn't know too many human movies. Should have considered that earlier.

I take the drinks over to them and sit down as well.

“You seem to know a lot about us,” Jetstream says, after taking a sip. “So why didn't we know about having such lovely company for this weekend getaway?”

“Huh? You weren't told that I was gonna be here?”

They both shake their heads. Well, that makes things kinda awkward. Princess Cadence gave me a rough idea of what they would be like, but they don't know anything about me. “Wait, maybe this'll explain things.” Producing a letter in a pink envelope from my apron pocket, I hand it over to Shadow Spell. “I was told to give this to you.”

“What's it say?” Jet asks his comrade.

The night unicorn clears his throat and begins to read it out loud:

To 2nd Lieutenant Jetstream of the Wonderbolts' First Aerial Response Team and Special Agent Shadow Spell of the Lunar Guard.

First of all, congratulations on your recent conferment of the Equestrian Service Cross. I am sure Princess Celestia and Princess Luna value your continued service greatly. However, since they are both very busy on account of the First Contact Day celebrations, I was asked to take care of finding a suitable reward for you.

The hotel room, room service and use of hotel facilities over this coming weekend have been covered by the Crown already. Please enjoy your well-deserved vacation time. In addition Ms. Julie LeBlanc will be joining you for the duration of your stay. She's taking part in this year's H.E.R.A. charity event. Please don't hesitate to show her the full extent of Equestrian hospitality.

Sincerely,
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.

“Huh.” Not a stallion of many words, I see. But that's alright. I kinda like the quiet type, and he's pretty handsome, too.

“Well, I always like meeting new people,” Jetstream says in a lively tone and stands up. He gets a glass and pours me some champagne as well, then sits down next to me, rather than on another couch. Maybe he's more of a gentleman, uh, I mean gentlecolt, than he seemed at first. He seems like a bit of a goof. Cute, though. “But I gotta ask. What's with the outfit?”

“Princess Cadence's idea,” I reply with a dry smile. Also she rather heavily implied that Shadow Spell would probably approve of this, although I'm not seeing much of a reaction from him.

Jet laughs. “I see. Human costumes have been pretty popular during last year's Nightmare Night, especially that one. For obvious reasons. Wait, I'll show you.” He pulls out his cellphone and brings up a picture of a pegasus mare with a yellow coat. And she's wearing pretty much the same outfit I am right now. “That's my boss, Spitfire, at our squadron party.”

The picture makes me chuckle. She seems pretty drunk. “Well, you should have seen the sheer number of Nightmare Moon costumes during Halloween. It was insane.”

“Oh, yeah? As what did you go?”

I wink at him. “I was a red devil. Pretty standard, I know. How about you?”

He scratches his cheek and scrolls through the photos on his cell, until one comes up that shows him in some kind of martial arts outfit. “You wanna talk about boring, here's a guy who wore his training outfit to the party, because he didn't have any better ideas.”

“You practice karate or something?”

“Muay Thai. The Wonderbolts have their own exchange program. I got the chance to train with the Blue Angels at their base, and their hand-to-hand combat instructor is a master of that particular martial art. I kept it up, even after returning home.”

“So you've already met other humans than me?”

“We both have. Shadow here was actually there during the First Contact mission, as Princess Luna's bodyguard.”

I look at the unicorn in astonishment. “Really? I must have seen the footage of Luna's famous speech at the U.N. at least a dozen times, but I've never noticed you among the pony representatives.”

Shadow Spell takes a swig of his drink, leaving only the olives. When did he have the time to drain his glass so fast? “Naturally. If you'd seen me, I wouldn't have been doing my job very well.” Makes sense, I guess. He is a secret agent. Putting down the glass, he suddenly stands up. “It's rather late already. I'm turning in for the night. It was a pleasure meeting you, Ms. LeBlanc.”

“Uh, yeah. Same here. Goodnight then.”

Jetstream sighs, after Shadow has withdrawn to his room. “And he says that I'm rude. He's not really the social type, so you have to forgive him. He probably freaked, meeting such a famous actress as yourself.”

I laugh that comment off. “Me? Famous? I'm really not that big of a deal.”

For some reason he tilts his head and gives me a look, as if I'd just declared that the sky was green. He holds up one finger and moves over to his bag, fishing out a DVD and holding it up in front of me. “That is you, isn't it?”

I swallow hard. Yeah, that's me on the cover alright, wearing a French Maid outfit no less. I give him a wry smile. “Guess you know my little secret. Did you pick that up during your travels on Earth?”

He shakes his head. “No, I picked it up in a retail store right here in Canterlot. You mean, you didn't know?” he asks in disbelief. “You're considered the biggest movie star ever, or at least since humanity has introduced us to video technology two years ago. I thought the reason you called yourself Julie LeBlanc, was so that you wouldn't be swarmed by your legion of fans.”

Legion of fans? There's at least one thing he's right about. That movie lists me in the credits as Foxxy Julie, not Julie LeBlanc. I take the DVD from him with a shaky hand. “Are you telling me that THIS is considered a hit movie, and that most of Canterlot has seen it?”

“Canterlot? It's the best-selling film in all of Equestria. The hype has even spread into neighboring countries like Griffonia and Zebraca.”

I don't believe this, but I can't really deny it either. Suddenly everything makes sense. The high bids at the charity auction, the awed looks of the crowd, the reason why Princess Cadence wanted me to wear this particular costume. It's all because of this movie, the first movie I've ever been in, and the name of that movie is …

Slutty French Maids #13 – Cum Hungry Redheads Edition

Author's Note

Once again, happy birthday, Tatsurou. Stay tuned for the rest of the chapters later today, cause this is the gift that keeps on giving until this birthday is over!

I should also take this opportunity to point out that Shadow Spell is Tatsurou's OC and Jetstream Darkhanos' OC. If you want to see more of these two characters, you can check out their collab story The Mare-a-thon.