The Day That Absolutely Nothing Happened

by Crazy Chocolate

Rating: teen
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Random, Slice of Life, Berry Punch, Lyra, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1534

Pinkie Pie has her first normal day, ever. EVER.

Being a party planner, apprentice baker, babysitter, Element of Harmony, member of Princess Twilight's Council, and even spending her younger years as a rock farmer has kept Pinkie Pie busy every day of her life. Every. Single. Day. But, Pinkie being herself, isn't overwhelmed or overworked, no, not at all! No, really, she isn't. No joke. When fate just happens to clear her schedule for just one day, just one day out of so many, how will she react? What will she do? Quick answer: nothing. Long answer: this story.

Randomly inspired to make this story. Hence random tag. Decided to write it in between writing chapters for my other stories. Don't worry, those are coming too.

Rated teen for alcohol reference, no other reason.

Published 2014-08-21 21:30:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-21 21:30:06 UTC

Empty Schedule

Empty Schedule

Pinkie Pie awoke in her room in Sugarcube Corner as she had every other day. She trotted down to the ground floor to pour herself some cereal. Not just one of those other inferior cereal, her favorite: Oops, All Marshmallows! She finished the sweet meal and continued to trot upstairs to her room to read her schedule.

"That can't be right. My schedule doesn't say it's anypony's birthday today. I don't even have any pre-birthday or post-birthday parties or parties scheduled for the hay of it." She thought about it for a few moments, pondering if she had somehow forgotten to list somepony's birthday somehow. She was almost certain she had missed something. Then it hit her.

"Oh, wow! How could I forget! It's Mr. Cake's birthday today! Oh wait, the Cakes and their twins are on a family vacation for his birthday, right... That's why they left me in charge of the store for the last couple of days." There must be something else, she thought to herself. But nope, that was everything. In fact, not only was she not busy, but everypony she knew was busy.

Twilight had a "state of the Kingdom" meeting with the other princesses, Fluttershy was out of town studying rare and exotic animals with Zecora, Rainbow was busy at the Wonderbolts Academy, Apple Jack had lots of farm work today (more than usual since Big Mac and Apple Bloom were sick), Rarity was attending a fashion whatsit in Manehattan, and Gummy was at the vet for another day because he was also ill.

"I guess everything worked out for me to do nothing today," Pinkie said with a frown. "I guess I can run the store for a while, see if anypony comes in and wants to start conversation..."

Pinkie turned the "closed" sign to "open" and trotted over to the counter. She waited, humming a little tune she was making up as she went along. The little tune went on for so long, it started changing genres entirely. By the time she had gotten to humming heavy metal a few hours later, she realized nopony was coming.

"Where is everypony? I thought they liked Sugarcube Corner..."

Pinkie decided to just close the store and go out for a walk in the park. Not a strange bounce from place to place that defied the laws of physics, an actual walk in the park. She reserved the bouncing for when she had somewhere to be.

"Hey, Pinkie. Don't see you walking in the park too often. What's wrong?" asked a very curious Lyra as she sat on the park bench as she usually does.

"Oh, hey, Lyra. I don't know, I guess the problem's that nothing's wrong..." Normally when Pinkie was having days this normal, something would come up by now to create a plot. Something like a new magician that egged Twilight on, or a few salesponies that were trying to scam everypony with a ludicrous device, or even a demon that stole the life force of all of the ponies until he was the equivalent of a princess.

"Oh, I see. you 'element bearers' don't know how to have a normal day. Never had one in your life, huh?"

"Nope. Not one! Even before I was Laughter, I was a baker and a party planner. And before that, I was a rock farmer! how do you do it, Lyra, spend a day doing nothing?"

"Well, I tend to have a lot of free time between gigs, so I learned to just enjoy life by watching it from afar."

"You mean stalking?"

"No! it's not stalking if it's not at anypony in particular and in a public place."

"Eh, fair point, I guess. But isn't that loitering?"

"Not if it's at the park. it's made for loitering, I guess. Never thought about it that way, but I guess it is!"

Pinkie took a seat next to Lyra human style, like her, and decided to just enjoy the view for a while. It was surprisingly calming, a feeling Pinkie didn't have too often. It was nice. Not as good for her as the feeling of being surrounded by others who idolized her for her awesome parties while everypony stayed up all night together bonding over punch and cider, but it had a certain charm she could see others preferring it for.

She decided to look around at the other ponies, curious about what their day must be like today. She really realized for the first time that other ponies actually had a lot of life going on when she wasn't around. She spent a few hours just thinking about what the lives of all of the different ponies must be like. Each probably had enough interesting stories not involving her of the other mane six at all that could fill, like, seven books.
Or eight movies.

When she really thought about it, some ponies probably spend every day of their whole lives like this, doing nothing. It has its charm, like she thought before, but it grows dull. What kind of life would this be, never doing anything, just waiting for life to do things for you.

In the middle of her deep thought, she saw Lyra getting off of the bench and start trotting home.

"We should get going. It's getting dark and Bon Bon is probably home and gets worried when I stay out too late. We should do this again sometime. It's good to have company when you're doing nothing."

Pinkie thought about it for a moment, and decided that the day was indeed well spent.

"Okey Dokey Lokey! See you later!" Pinkie then proceded to bounce away as she normally does since she now had a destination: home.

One the way home, Pinkie passed by the local pub, which she hadn't entered in a while. She decided to pay her old friend, Drought the Barkeep, a visit.

She trotted in and took a seat on the of the stools alongside berry Punch, who was just finished drinking a glass of wine.

"Hey, Pinkie. Haven't seen you in here for a while. What you in for?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, we're all here for some reason or another."

"No, really, I'm here for no reason! I just decided to walk in as I passed by!"

"Coming in because you wanted to is a reason, isn't it?"

"I guess it is! I never thought about it like that before!" This made Pinkie think. If coming into the bar just because she felt like it wasn't "no reason," then would anything ever be for no reason? And also, was any day truly void of activity? Take today, for example. Was today really pointless and empty like it seemed it would in the beginning, or was the time spent with Lyra doing nothing... something? Was the time she was about to spend with Drought and Berry Punch also something? it sure didn't feel like much, but she guessed it must be something of a sort.

The wisdom and philosophy of drunk ponies in random pubs at night truly knows no bounds!

Pinkie also noticed something else. She was now thinking and even occasionally talking with bigger words than before. Was the reason she never expressed her thoughts or feelings in a profound way because she never really thought before?

"Hey, Pinkie! You gonna order something or just stare at my alcohol selling license all night?" asked a large, light brown unicorn stallion with a dark brown mane, tail, and beard. He had a scratchy yet reassuring voice.

"Oh, sorry. HEY, DROUGHT! NICE TO SEE YOU AFTER SO LONG! How's business?"

"Eh, it's been better in years past, but it's been picking up a lot since last year. We're still doing business, so all in all can't complain."

"Good to hear. Sugarcube Corner has been booming this year, but business has been slower this week."

"You know what Pinkie? You were the first true friend I ever had and you were never stingy on your tabs, unlike some ponies I know," he looked at Berry Punch, who blushed of embarrassment, "so the first one's on the house. What would you like?"

"Some cider, I guess."

"You got it." The barkeep pulled out a bottle of cider and levitated it over to the mare. She then proceeded to grab it with her hoof, remove the cap with her mane, and drink from the bottle.

Berry Punch walked the spectacle with her own two eyes.

"How did she... oh, right, she's Pinkie Pie."

"Look, how do we even know that Hasbro knows what they're doing!? I mean, Q in MLP? What was that about!? And how do we pick up things with our hooves anyways?"

"Pinkie, you're breaking the fourth wall again. I think you've had enough refreshments," suggested the unicorn stallion.

"Okey Dokey Lokey..."

Pinkie trotted the relatively short distance back to Sugarcube Corner and made her way to the upstairs bedroom. As she laid in her bed, she decided that today was actually a good day, whether or not it was truly a "nothing" day. Given the choice, she wouldn't have changed a single second.