Spike Gets Friendzoned

by Slowpoke

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Main 6, Romance, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Other
Length: 1649

The friend zone... We've all been there. Unfortunately, Spike finds himself there a lot.

Dedicated to all of you suffering the cold depths of the friend zone right now.

Spike gets friendzoned by everypony. The poor guy...

Note: The chapters are all standalones, so read in any order.

Published 2014-08-21 19:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-21 19:00:04 UTC

Applezoned

The steaming hot sunlight blasted upon the apple orchards of Sweet Apple Acres. Spike’s scales soaked up the rays greedily and made him feel energized as he took the last few baskets of apples to the cart.

“Well I’ll be,” said Applejack, dumping her own basket. “Ah reckon’ that’s the quickest we’ve ever gotten the daily apple buckin’ done.”

“I’d have to agree,” said Spike with a proud smile.

“I’d like to take the credit, but I’ve gotta admit it, Spike… it sure is nice having you around so much these days, helpin’ out with the chores.”

“It’s no problem at all,” Spike said, flashing a wink. “Ever since that last growth spurt I’ve been needing ways to channel my energy.”

“Well, heck, I for one sure do appreciate it. It used to get pretty lonely out in the orchards all day. Big Mac’s out here, but, well, he ain’t one for conversation. It’s nice having somepony to talk to.”

“Ah, shucks, don’t mention it, Applejack,” Spike said with a chuckle. “I love being out here with you. You’re one of my best friends.”

“Same here, Spike. I’ve definitely enjoyed all the time we spend together, now.”

Spike’s heart began to pump a bit faster. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t harbor a crush on the beautiful farm pony, and today he was going to try to take things to the next level.

“Um, Applejack?”

“Yes, Spike?”

“Well, I’m sure you know this already, but the traveling fair is setting up in town square next week, and I was thinking maybe, I don’t know, you’d like to go with me for the day. Maybe?”

“Ah, Spike, I’d love to go with you!” Applejack said with a huge smile.

Spike’s face lit up at her response. “Oh, gosh, that’s awesome! I’ll go ahead and buy the tick—”

“And we can invite Caramel, Twilight, and maybe Big Mac will wanna go. It can be a fun group thing!”

“...”

Stupid friend zone!

Author's Note

Ooh, the "group escape" tactic. Very smooth AJ.

Rarizoned

“Shh, Rarity, it’ll be okay.”

Spike gripped the sobbing white mare in his arms, resting his head on hers.

“Oh, Spikey, I just thought that he was the one! H-How could he d-do that?”

Spike could feel her tears start running down his back. She had been crying like this non-stop for the past hour since she showed up at library to talk to him after her date with Caramel.

“Well, if he didn’t respect you, then he wasn’t worth your time anyway, Rarity. You deserve only the best. Not a cheap stallion who cares more about your bed than you.”

Spike held her closer as she nuzzled into his shoulder. It had been like this so many times it seemed. Rarity would go out with a stallion, he would do something to hurt her, and the she would seek out her best friend to cry into. It seemed as if she was just using him at this point.

But he’d be there for her every time.

“Oh, Spike, why can’t I just find a stallion who actually loves me for me?” Rarity pulled away from him and looked him straight in the eyes.

Spike had to resist the powerful urge to facepalm, but she was being serious. Maybe, just maybe, she’d finally give him a chance.

“Well, Rarity, there is someone. Someone who loves you for you, and cares about you more than anything. And you know him very well…”

Rarity opened her mouth to say something, but shut it just as quickly and turned her head away. “Well, um… If I’m correct in my assumption of who you’re talking about, you know my feelings. You know you’re my best friend, darling.”

Spike just frowned in disappointment. It seemed that no matter how well he treated her, it wasn’t enough.

“I understand, Rares.”

Rarity looked down at the ground and back up to Spike. “But, you know, maybe a best friend would also make a nice coltfriend… someday.”

“Someday?” Spike asked, unsure of what he heard.

“Someday. I promise. Just, give me some time, alright dear,” Rarity leaned forward and lightly kissed his cheek, setting his cheeks aflame. “Hehe, nice to know you still care about me just as much as the first time I kissed you all those years ago.”

“Well, I’ll always care for you. Even if I have to wait…”

Stupid friend zone!

Author's Note

There, that's a slightly more acceptable version of the friendzone. A friendzone that has a possible escape route.

Flutterzoned

“Gotcha!”

Spike pounced on the couch cushion with the rabbit ears protruding from behind, and scooped up the rebel Angel Bunny from behind.

“I found him, Fluttershy!” Spike called out, wrestling the bunny into his grasp.

Fluttershy bolted into the room, beaming at the duo on the couch. “Oh, Spike, thank you!”

She nabbed the bunny from him with a wing. “Now, Angel, you have to have your bath. I know it’s no fun, but if not your fur will get all matted and nasty.”

Angel just looked at her with a frown that could make Chrysalis run for cover.

“Also, you should apologise to Spike for all the trouble you put him through, today,” Fluttershy said, giving Angel a stern look.

“Oh, it’s alright, Flutters,” Spike said. “I enjoy coming over here and helping you.”

“I know, and I love having you, but I still feel bad you wasted your entire morning helping me chase Angel.”

“It wasn’t a problem. Actually, if you have any other work you need help with, I’d love to stick around.”

“Oh, Spike, that’s so sweet!” Fluttershy said, wrapping a wing around him in a hug.

Spike blushed a little at the contact, but managed to keep his composure. “Aww, shucks, hehe…”

To say Spike had feelings for Fluttershy would be a massive understatement. The two had been hanging out several times a week for some time and had become very close. Recently, however, Spike was looking for a way to tell her he wanted to take it to the next level.

He just had to create an opportunity.

“You know, Fluttershy,” Spike said, releasing himself from her hug. “I really enjoy spending time with you.”

“Oh, me too, Spike! It’s always enjoyable to spend time with you.”

“Oh, well, um, I’m glad you feel that way, because I was actually thinking I would like to be able to spend more time with you in the future. You know, time where we can get to know each other more.” Spike’s heart raced in anticipation of her response.

“Oh, Spike, that’s a wonderful idea!”

“I-It is?” he asked, a smile creeping onto his face. “You really want to?”

“Of course,” Fluttershy said, nuzzling his cheek. “I always enjoy spending time with my favourite dragon. It’s so nice to have a good friend like you who I can enjoy time with without things getting complicated. That’s so hard to find these days.”

Spike felt his heart sink at the same pace as his smile. “Yeah, it’s pretty awesome.”

Stupid friend zone!

Author's Note

Ouch, the "let's not complicate things" line.

Dashzoned

Rainbow Dash and Spike were perched atop a cloud in the evening sky, eyes shut and just enjoying the beautiful weather.

Spike, since growing his wings, had been training with Rainbow Dash for the weather team. Cloud removal, precipitation advancement… he was trying to learn it all.

More importantly, to him at least, was the quality time he had been able to spend with Dash. Unbeknownst to him before, the two of them shared a lot in common, and had become closely knit friends.

Maybe even more than friends. Or that could just be wishful thinking on Spike’s part. He, however, wanted to tell her how he felt. Or hint at it, at least. He had pretty much fallen in love with her by this point, and he hoped that she felt the same way.

“Ah, yeah, this is the life, huh, Spike?” Rainbow said, stretching out her wings and smiling ear to ear.

“Definitely,” Spike replied with an equally large smile. “It’s the best. Especially after the long day today, this cloud sure feels nice.”

Rainbow looked up for a moment and a small blush crossed her face. “Hey, Spike, can I ask you something?”

“Um, okay.”

“Sorry this is so sudden, but I just wanted to ask before I forgot.” Rainbow cleared her throat and turned to fully look at Spike. “Well, we’ve been really close for awhile now, and I was thinking…”

Wait a sec. Is she...asking me out?

“Well, I’m not much for romance or anything, but I think I’ve found someone I really like.” Rainbow’s blush burnt bright red and she veered her head down to the cloud beneath her.

“Um, okay,” Spike said, his body practically shaking in an effort control his impulse to scream and shout praises of joy.

“And, well, I’m pretty sure, you already know who he is…”

“Yeah, I think I do,” Spike said. “And I just want to let you know that I’m definitely on board with this. In fact, I’ve been waiting for this for awhile.”

“Really?” Rainbow turned to Spike with a huge smile and engulfed him in a hug. “Thanks, Spike! You’re the best! Thanks for being by my side all this time.”

“No problem,” Spike said, returning the hug. “So, what’s the plan now?”

“Well, I was planning on asking him out tomorrow, but I think I’m gonna head to Thunderlane’s place right now and ask him! Thanks for being such a good friend, Spike.”

Spike’s mind froze as Rainbow took off, her words echoing through his head.

Stupid friend zone!

Author's Note

What's worse than being friendzoned? Looking like an idiot while doing it.