Hello, my name is Buzzkill, and my story begins when I was thirteen years old. I'd just started the new school year, and at the time I was depressed. You see, I've been depressed for as long as I can remember, probably even longer. Maybe because my parents didn't care for me like they should have, or I've been bullied for how I act around other ponies my age. But it's really because I could never find love. I know, I know, "A thirteen year old shouldn't be looking for love at that age!". If you thought, that then you don't understand how hard my life was. Anyway, going back to the story. It was the first day of school, and this was my last chance to finally find love, since we were moving to Ponyville after this school year. When I stepped into the classroom, I saw all the ponies, even the teacher stare at me with there large colorful eyes.
Great. Even the teacher hates me.
"What?" I said.
They stared at me for a few seconds longer and they went back to what they were doing. I walked up to the teacher and she told me to go pick a seat. Since I was the last to arrive, I was stuck with the last seat which was next to a colt. I never learned his name, maybe because he would turn out to be one of my many bullies, which sucks because he was pretty cute. He was a dark blueish purple kind of color and he had a dark purple Mohawk. But it turned out he was from Canterlot. Meaning he was way out of my league. Life really hated me that day.
As you could probably, tell I didn't have a lot of friends. In fact, I only had one real friend, and that was a colt named Gigglebox. I don't think he took anything really serious, he would simply laugh at quite literally anything and everything. After a while it would have got annoying for most ponies, but for a filly who has a hard time making with friends, it was a blessing. It was mid year and also hearts and hooves day, and of course, I had nopony to take me to the dance. My dad felt bad for me and offered to take me to the dance but was I really going to take that offer when I'm already humiliated? Not a chance. My dad is a respectful and caring pony, but he can me a tad clumsy and overly silly at times so It would be best if I didn't take him. All that aside, I've been thinking about going with Gigglebox. He's the only colt who would actually tolerate me and hang out with me, plus, I have to admit he was pretty cute at times. His cute little giggle, even when it just a small quiet one would always make me blush. Everypony thought we were from another universe or something, since I was always a timid and boring emo filly, and Gigglebox was always more out there and was fun to hangout with. I didn't want to ask him in the first place, because that would make me look desperate (which secretly I was), but in the end, I ended up looking like a fool and I asked him. And I what I learned completley caught me off guard!
"YOU'RE GAY!?" I yelled, I knew I shouldn't have yelled it that loud, because I think some of the other students heard. He told me that he was gay, and he asked if that would change our friendship in anyway. I obviously told him no, because I don't really care if my friends are gay or not. It's just that I was very disappointed by this, especially not having a date to the dance, which by the way was tonight! I decided to just forget about the stupid dance anyway. Of course, I didn't tell my parents because if I did they would sit me down and talk to me about crap I don't really care about for an hour or two, so I just stayed in my room and cried to myself. I knew I was going to be lonely forever. Nopony would want to waste their time with a stupid, ugly, boring emo mare like me.
A few years passed, along with the school years. and I just tried my best to stay in the shadows. I didn't even try to get a boyfriend this time, I just focused on getting the day done. But it still pained me that I saw all these ponies who have a mate with them, and I'm the only one who doesn't. My high school bullies this time was this stupid whore named Bon Bon, and her bottom bitch Lyra. I don't know if they are dikes or not, but I keep getting the feeling that they have some sort of relationship. Surprisingly, high school wasn't hell like I thought it was. It flew by nice and fast. The only time it would slow down is when the stupid hoes Lyra and Bon Bon would say something stupid, but that's about it.
But once I left hell in school, I entered it again back home. My dad passed away because of some sort of disease. He was the only pony who would understand what I'm going through, so his death really set me back socially and emotionally. I isolated myself from my drunk of a mom. I would either lock myself inside my room, or just run away. I wouldn't be gone long though, I can only take so much of being homeless.
I got into a fight with my mom when she came home wasted. That was the last straw. I packed whatever I needed and left. I needed to get out of that hell hole before it consumed me. It was late at night when I left, so nopony was out except for myself obviously. I stopped at this place called Sugarcube Corner, and hid behind that building for the rest of the night next to the trash cans. The next morning, I smelt like rotten cupcakes in result of sleeping near a trash can. I walked around Ponyville to see if I can find a place to sleep, or hopefully find somepony who would take me in, but that would be a long shot. As I was walking, I saw two ponies who I wished were just figments of my imagination. It was Lyra and Bon Bon.
"Oh, look, Lyra! The emo!"
"Hey! How about you too quit hoofing each other and get the hell out of here?!" I yelled and I made sure somepony could here me.
"Screw you loner! Unlike you, I've found love, so ha!" I wanted to buck Lyra in the face when she said that.
"Look, emo! Why don't you do Celestia a favor ad just go kill yourself, okay?" And when Bon Bon said that I pretty much broke a law... And her muzzle.
"Owwww!!" She yelled, crying like the bitch was. She called the guards, though, so I had to hoof it out of there. I was able to escape, but I was forced to hide out in the Everfree, which was way better than the trash cans! As I strolled through the known path, I saw somepony in the distance. It was a pure white unicorn, with light blue mane, and bright orange eyes. But what was very odd was that her cutie mark was a heart with a needle, and thread mending it together while my cutie mark is a heart breaking in half. Maybe just a coincidence. I was going to take a shot in the dark here. I was going to ask her if she could help me out, and if she didn't help I would head back to Manehatten. When I confronted her, she was actually nicer than expected.
"Well, hello stranger, who's wearing all black, with cut marks on her hoof and who's looking at me like she's going to commit homicide in five minutes!" That was very descriptive, and more accurate than I wanted it to be. "Just joking. Can I help you?" This was my chance! I couldn't mess this up, if I share too, much I'm screwed!
"I got into a fight with my mom, ran away from home, slept in the back of sugar cube corner, and I'm hiding from the guards!"
Dammit!
"Totally understandable! You can stay with me if you want. My brother finally moved out, so I have an empty room in the house!" I struck gold! It may be to revealing, but it worked! When she took me back to her home, it was actually a really nice house. Very clean and very neat. Obviously a virgin. But I was in no position to judge, hell, I'm still a virgin! When she showed me the room I was very surprised at the size of the room. There was a queen bed and everything! she let me get settled in and unpacked. When night hit, I fell fast asleep, knowing that things are uphill from now on... I hope.
Author's Note
Hey guys hope you like the story so far! Now I've decided to introduce two more of my custom OC's. Now this story was going through major transformations like Buzzkill being raped by her dad and Buzzkill doing drugs but I just figured that I didn't want my story going into the mature category. Now just so you know I have nothing against same sex love, I say love because that's where it ends for me. So if anybody was offended by what Buzzkill said I greatly apologize. Hopefully this story will do good, or even better than good. Now fun fact Gigglebox is actually based off of a friend of mine, the only difference between the two is that Gigglebox is gay and my friend is straight. I made him gay because I was running out of male characters so I decided to use the only unused male character. Anyhow hope you like it and PEACE OUT!
Oh all corrections and edits are credited to this kind fella
snowflakes in the snow
Chapter #2 Life Isn't That Bad (Final)
Well, I've officially moved into the mare's house. She told me her name was Needlelove. I asked her why her name was that, thinking it could be because she does LSD or something, but she told me that her mother was a clothing designer, and loved doing it so much she named her after her talent. But it wasn't until then that I noticed that she is the complete opposite of myself, she has bright blue mane where I have very dark blue, she has pure white furwhile I have black fur, and she is more optimistic and fun than myself. But she even considers me a friend of hers. Like I said before, I'm not the best at making friends, so this was kind of a first for me.
For doing all this I had to repay her some how. But how? That's it! She once told me she really likes red velvet cake! So all I have to do is I have to is buy her one. But how do I buy a cake without bits? Ah, I'll just make one! I'm kinda glad that I took that cooking class elective in high school now. When I made the cake it was actually decent! Not professional, or great, but decent. So before she got home I set the cake on the table that was near the door and sat on the couch and waited. When she got home and she saw the cake her face grew bright with happiness! She asked if I made it and of course I replied yes, and apparently the cake was so good that after the first bite, she ate it all in less than three minutes!
After living with Needlelove for three weeks, I've started to grow fond of her. She's the only pony other than my dad who actually understands me. She's kind, caring, fun to hang out with, And I have to say... Cute, she even has the cute little laugh Gigglebox had. You know, I always wanted a sister, and now... It really feels like I have one.
Today she decided to take to to the sugar cube corner, which I was very excited for. You see, my dad used to take me to Sugarcube Corner when ever I was depressed or just needed a good slice of cake. When we got there, I instantly got hot headed...
Lyra and Bon-Bon.
As we sat down I tried my hardest to not make eye contact with either of them. I just focused on my cake and Needlelove. Well, so much for that! Lyra spotted us and decided to pay us a little visit.
"Be careful Lyra! The dog might bite you!" I glared at Bon Bon when she said that. Apparently She's scared of me now since she quickly looked the other direction.
"Hey, emo! You broke my Bon- Uh, I mean you broke Bon-Bon's muzzle, and you can pay for in two ways. You can give me 100 bits, or we can take this outside!" I couldn't say anything. Especially when Needlelove was right on the other side of the table. I didn't want her sucked into my problems.
"I don't want to do any of those Lyra, because if I pay you you'll just shove it up somewhere the sun don't shine, and I'm not talking about your face hole." I'm sure she got what I was talking about because she got real pissed at that point.
"What did you say, pig!?" She was really getting on my nerves but I just took what was coming to me. I knew if I did something, Needlelove would get into it as well. "What's wrong pig? You not wanting to answer me? You're useless! You don't deserve life, you're a bucking waste of thought! No wonder your daddy died, it was the only way he can get away from your sorry ass!" I wanted to buck her in the mouth so bad, but I just couldn't. I tried to insult her but my mouth couldn't make words. All I could do was just try to hold back tears, because that insult felt like a knife going through my heart.
Now I know why I have a broken heart for a cutie mark.
"Gonna cry now, pig? You ugly little swine! That's a face only a daddy can love!" I couldn't help it, I had let the tears go. I didn't want to cry in front of Needlelove or Lyra and her lap dog Bon-Bon but I couldn't help it.
"Uh-oh, Lyra, you made the dog cry."
"How can she cry? Emo ponies don't have feelings." What happened next really surprised me. Needlelove stood up. She got up into Lyra's face and said
"You two need to learn some manners! How dare you pick on this poor mare?"
"What are you gonna do about it, you Unislut?"
"You're a unicorn too, dumb ass!" I was very surprised to hear Needlelove curse like that. I mean, she cursed but when she got hurt or broke something expensive, but I'd never heard her curse like that.
"Why are you even sticking up for this bimbo? Are you her fillyfriend or something?"
"And what if I am? How will that be any different from you two hoofing each other every night?" I guess Lyra whispered this part because I couldn't really understand what she was saying. At this point I was very grateful, but I felt really bad for getting Needlelove into this. She didn't need to get caught up in my problems. So I just left hoping that the arguing would stop. As I walked I saw Needlelove trotting towards me. Once she caught up to me she asked why I didn't say anything or do anything. I answered,
"I just didn't want you tied up into my problems. You didn't deserve the insults they said to you! Plus, they were right!" I was starting to tear up even more. Then she wiped away a tear on my face and asked,
"What do you mean, Buzzkill?"
"I mean that they're right! Nopony ever liked me, or wanted to be my friend! The only pony in my life who made me feel loved was my dad, and he's gone now! And I wouldn't be surprised if I learned that he died because of me! I'm so alone, Needlelove!" I paused so I can let more tears escape then I said "All I ever wanted in life was love. I only wanted love, Needle!" I couldn't continue any more. I stumbled to the cold dusty ground, but then I felt Needlelove's hoof lift my chin so I can look at her.
"You're not alone, Buzzkill. You have me. I don't know if I can make you feel loved as much as your dad did, but I can make you feel wanted. Buzzkill... I- I love you, and I don't know why, but I just feel like you're the other half to my life. Ever since I met you, I felt like that! Because I cared about you! Because I love you, Buzzkill!"
I couldn't help but feel shocked, but pleasantly surprised. All I could do was stare into her bright orange eyes and blush. I felt like I was in a trance at this point. I felt weightless, and warm. She leaned in on me, and I couldn't help but lean in as well. I felt her warm lips on mine. It was like kissing the most pleasant and expensive silk. I knew at that point. And I knew from then on I have finally found what I've been wanting for my whole life...
...Love.
Author's Note
Hey guys Hope you liked the ending of the story, but like in the beginning it went through a lot of other changes. For example I was going to have Needlelove get into a big fist fight (or should I say hoof fight) with Lyra and Bon Bon. Speaking of I was actually going to have them apologize to Buzzkill, but then I thought that would ruin the story, I mean who would be the antagonists? Obviously this is much different than my other stories because I've decided to take the challenge of telling a story in first person. Now to all those people wondering why I didn't quote Buzzkill's monologue moments which was like the whole story, well simple. I didn't want people being confused if she was talking to somepony or if she was talking to herself. So when you saw moments like the end when she was describing she was saying that as like a narrator, or like in her mind. While she talks to others then it would be in quotes. Anyhow hoped you liked the story and let me know if you have any ideas to make it better! Peace Out!
