Misplaced

by Solemn Aurora

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Human, Anthro, Comedy, Romance
Length: 6071

In a world far, far away, or perhaps in an entirely different universe, one man is about to understand the meaning of life... and he is willing to throw it away in pursuit of adventure.

Shawn is your average, heavy-set nerd- who has spent nearly half of his life playing video games and watching anime- has stumbled upon the story of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Swept away by the captivating story, nothing could prepare him for what happens next…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-23 09:52:38 UTC

Chapter 1: A Magical Adventure Begins

Chapter 1: A Magical Adventure Begins

As all seemed hopeless, the lock box opened and inside was power unmatched.  Gifted to the bearers of the elements of Harmony, they vanquished Tirek to the pits of Tartarus once again and the magic he stole was returned to everypony in a spectacular blast.  Equestria is once again safe and harmony has been restored to the land.  Princess Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the element bearers have a castle of their own in Ponyville, and as if things couldn't get any better, Discord, the spirit of chaos, offers a bouquet of flowers to the Princess of the Sun, Celestia.

"I knew it, I bucking knew it!  Discord must have feelings for Celestia!  Now I can't wait for season five."  I said, a satisfied grin forming on my face.  "What are you yelling about?"  I heard the voice of my father thunder, his footfall booming as he came down the stairs and entered my bedroom.  "Nothing Dad, just watching TV."  I sighed, knowing I'm about to receive a speech I've heard a thousand times before.  "I swear, everything about this is unnatural.  This My Little Pony shit has got to stop, it's for little girls."  I rolled my eyes, "Whatever, the next season won't air until next year anyway." I said dismissively.  "You're your Mother's child, not my Son." my Father responded coldly and shut my door, returning to the upper floor of our home.  "Well, I'm glad I'm not your son..."  I grumbled.  I didn't see any wrong in enjoying the show.  It was something that made me a better person, he should be supportive.  I was getting used to these spats between my Father and I, always ending in a stalemate.  Even my Brother was beginning to bully me.  "I suppose I can spend the rest of my day playing Skyrim.  Alright Miraak, prepare thyself, for I shall smite thee!"  I tried cheering myself up.

My name is Shawn and my life isn't particularly exciting, I'm practically a shut-in.  Graduation, job hunting, gaming in between, it's not exactly an epic tale.   "For you see Miraak, I am the true Dragon Born, and you are merely a whispered tale lost to history."  I ranted in a comedic manner,  "Victory will be mine!"  It took all night, but I finally defeated Miraak and completed all the side quests in Solstheim.  When I have a controller in my hands, I feel like a true adventurer.  This is the excitement I'd always desired in my life, the adventure I often dreamt of.  Glancing at the clock, I'd decided it was time to go to bed.

That night I dreamt of  the filly I covet, what a radiant beauty.  My slumber fills with images of her, and never would I desire to wake.  It's nights like these I wish my dreams were a reality, that by some miracle our two worlds would collide.  Until then, I'll content myself with the power of my imagination..

-        ☬        - -

I startle to the sensation of being dragged, small pebbles and pointed rocks jab my back as I roll over them.  I'm not quite sure what's going on, my head is pounding and I can feel sweltering heat beating against my skin.  Fading in and out of consciousness, I feel panicked and confused, Where am I?  Behind my eyelids I see bright red, I know I must be outside.  My hearing is muddy, I can hear anxious voices but I can't quite grasp what they're saying.  I lick my cracked lips in an attempt to moisturize them, but my mouth is as dry as the ground as I'm being dragged across.  Is this sleep paralysis?  Am I in a coma? I wondered, Who are these people?  How did I get here?  I was beginning to feel a bit scared.  I hit one last stone before I felt a significant change in the ground's texture.  The sky seemed to darken during this change, and it wasn't so hot anymore, Thank Faust, but now it was kinda itchy.

I came to a stop, and there was a brief pause before I was lifted onto what felt like a bed, Much better. I thought in response to the soothing cool of the blanket below my back.  "Drink this." I heard a soft voice say through my daze, an arm wrapping around the back of my neck gently tilted my head forward.  How can you wear a coat in weather like this? I wondered as the fur from her coat tickled the back of my neck.  I felt a bowl part my lips, water trickled down my throat and quenched my extreme thirst.  She was kind enough to give me water, and that meant a lot to me, considering I felt like I was dying.  After some time, I felt the bowl leave my lips.  I began to feel pokes and prods here and there, my lips pulled back to reveal my gums, I felt like I was getting a check-up by a doctor.  I guess it was necessary, given my current state.  I heard murmuring of curious voices all around me.  I frequently heard questions like "What is it?" and "Is it dangerous?"  My shirt was pulled up and a pressure was applied to my chest, Perhaps it's a stethoscope?  I wondered.  The panic that left me earlier returned as I felt my shorts jerk below my knees.  I heard a collective gasp around me, shortly followed by stifled giggling.  I was wrong, I cringed, I've surely died, and this must be Hell.  I could've sworn I even heard one whisper, "It's so small!"  and I mentally groaned.  "Quiet.  Now, everyone out, it needs rest."

-        ☬        - -

I awoke what felt to be hours later.  My eyes cracked open, at last allowing me to see my surroundings.  It's a bit dark in here, but it looks to be a hut.. I see bundles of dry plants strung across the walls, potted herbs and bottles lining shelves with curious contents.  The itchy floor I'd felt earlier appeared to be finely woven straw.  It reminded me of a shaman's shack, or an herbalist.  This only serves to further my confusion.  Hearing voices outside, I slowly rose from the kind stranger's bed to investigate.  I staggered across the room to the door and gripped the knob, giving it a tug; Warm, dry air blew against my face carrying a savory scent.  I gaped at the beautiful sunset on the horizon, a medley of warm colors danced across the sky like watercolors on a canvas, the Sun a glistening topaz hugging the land in the distance bathed the desert in an orange glow that grew darker with the passage of time.  I snapped to my senses and realized, "D-desert!" I cried out in confusion.  I stepped back in disbelief, "This can't be," my brows furrowed, "I-I don't.. where am I ?"

I shut the door and opened it once more, letting the strange reality sink in.  I cautiously took a step outside, further assessing my surroundings.  Nearby I saw more huts that seemed to be a bit crudely constructed from wood, hay, stone and clay.  I see a smoke cloud rising behind the adjacent hut and decide it would be best to seek out my saviors.  I begin across the cracked dirt of the desert and shortly make my way around back of the neighboring home, I hear a soft metallic squeak and voices of the locals growing louder as I approach.  I rounded the corner and laid my eyes upon.. well, I'm not quite sure.  My jaw went slack as I met eyes with the locals, and my concern grew, Donkey... people, I slowly thought to myself, realizing how absurd I'd sounded, This isn't happening.  I suddenly realized the small group in front of me had fallen silent, all eyes fixed on me, I must've made them uncomfortable in my silence.  "I, u-uhm.. Where, uh..." I stammered, at a loss for words.  A villager standing next to a spit in the middle of the group took her hand off of the handle and calmly walked towards me.  Her hoofed feet gave a soft clop as they stamped down the dirt.  She had soft features I found comforting.  She had long, black hair that met her waist, two small braids starting at the ends of her bangs gently wrapped around to the back of her head in a simple, stylish fashion.  She extended a fingered hand to me in an attempt to shake hands, "I am overjoyed to see you, truly." she says, her gentle voice melts away the tension in the air, "I feared you would not wake, but the will to overcome is stronger than any herb."

I paused momentarily before taking her hand and shaking it firmly, soft callouses on her hand made my head spin, "Tangible.." I muttered in disbelief.  Her head cocked slightly, "I'm sorry?" she said with confusion in her voice.  "Oh!  Nothing, I'm sorry.  I just.. I'm confused." I gave a slight wave with my free hand.  She released her grip on me and motioned to the whispering group behind her, "As are we, stranger, but we are glad to have you in our company as long as you are here in love and tolerance." a smile ventured across her face that warmed my heart, "But of course! I'm not sure how or why I'm here, but I won't be any trouble.  Thank you all for your help." I said, giving an assuring nod.  Although I was terribly confused by this entire situation, at least now I was beginning to feel somewhat safe.  Confidence among the group seemingly grew as some ventured closer, their conversations bubbling with curiosity.  It appeared the majority of the group appeared to be female.  A woman sat behind the fire nursing her foal, she wore a wary expression on her face as she fixated on me.  A young male began turning the spit to prevent skewered slices of cactus from burning, a large pot emitting the savory smell that filled the village hung from hooks upon the rod of the spit.  As the whispering faces and attention started to become a bit overwhelming for me, I asked, "C-Could we possibly return to the hut?  You and I?"  The woman waved off the onlookers dismissively and motioned for me to walk.

"I'm sure you have questions, but I don't think I'll have all the answers for you, Baal-Di."  I turned my head towards her in a questioning manner, and she returned a questioning look until she'd realized the cause of my confusion, "Ah--Baal-Di, friend of tribe."  she explained to me.  We entered her home and she stopped abruptly, placing her hand on her chest in sudden realization, "Please do not think poorly of my manners, my name is Pandean." she sat down upon a wooden stool in front of a small, circular table home to a few clay cups, a jug and a leafy potted plant that faintly smelled of mint.  "Please, sit." she directed.  I sat down opposite from her and rested my hands in my lap.  Although she'd been so kind, I decided to err on the side of caution and play dumb, "My name?  I can't seem to recall.." I furrowed my brows to be more convincing.  I don't even know these donkey people-  Now I really felt crazy, Donkey people!  This is not real,  I thought to myself firmly, I swear I must be dreaming.  Pandean leaned over the table with a worried expression, placing the back of her hand to my forehead, "You're still very warm," she said, reaching up to an overhanging shelf she took a vial of small yellow seeds and popped the cork off, pouring a bit into an empty clay cup, "These are quite bitter, but they'll help you retain water.  I could pour tea for you if you think that would taste more pleasant?" she offered.

An idea began to form in my mind and I fell silent for a moment,  "I need you to do me a favor."  I ventured, brushing off her question.  Pandean raised a brow in curiosity, "A favor?  What would you have me do, Baal-Di ?"  she inquired.  Taking a deep breath, I blurted, "I need you to hit me."  I saw Pandean was taken aback, "P-Pardon me?"  I leaned forward a bit, "Hit me,"  I pressed, "I need you to hit me."  Pandean began to give me a crazy look, "What?  N-No!  I can't, why would I do such a thing?"  she withdrew, her hands near her chest, "I.. I know this isn't right!"  I reasoned, rising from my seat, "I live in Kentucky, not Arizona!"  I ranted, stepping closer to her.  Pandean then started to look uncomfortable.  "I wake to find myself here inexplicably, surrounded by weird donkey people!"  I shook my hands in an animated manner and insisted, "Pandean, I've either finally lost my mind, or I'm in an incredibly weird dream.  Hit me!"  I leaned in, taking her by the wrists, "Wait, stop!"  she squealed, her eyes growing wild with anxiety, "You must !" I raised my voice.  She cried out in a panic and reared her hoof back, landing a solid kick to my face.  My ears rung loudly and I drifted from consciousness, barely feeling myself thunder spectacularly to the floor.

-        ☬        - -

I opened my eyes to the sight of an unfamiliar hut, the decor slightly more feminine than the last one I was in.  For a moment, I had trouble recalling how I'd gotten here before I rolled over and put pressure on my cheek.  "Ack!" I cried, shooting into an upright position.  I tenderly poked at my swollen cheek, recalling the swift and radical kick I'd earned myself.  Well, at least I have my answer.. I let out a grunt.  My tongue ventured into the left side of my mouth and I discovered a missing tooth just in front of my top molar, "Oh man, she's got Herculean strength." I groaned.  Upon inspection, this hut appears to be a bit more spacious than Pandean's.  A simple wooden vanity sat across the room with a small mirror perched upon it.  Cosmetic items had been scattered about the vanity; a few different brushes and combs, small clay bowls with greases and powders of a limited variety of colors in each.  I got up and made my way to the mirror, taking a look at my puffy, bruised cheek.  As I'm looking myself over, I hear the door to my right swing open and the clicking of hooves.  "Pandean?" I ask as I turn to look at her.  I flinch sharply when I discover a tall, burly colt in my face, easily several inches taller than me.  Several.. very intimidating inches... I mustered a sheepish smile.  The colt's nostrils flared as he blew hot air in my face and his narrow eyes bore right through me.  He held a bundle of chopped firewood under his right arm and rested a weathered axe across his left shoulder.  I felt a bead of sweat roll down my forehead as tension built, he looked as though he would cut me down at any moment, and my head sunk down into my shoulders.

"Jerry, what are you doing?  Leave the poor fool be." a peppy, upbeat voice started into the room.  A new female appeared, her black hair bobbed and curly.  She seemed to be quite playful, and I couldn't help but notice she was quite voluptuous.  She had a line of white grease that carefully ran down the bridge of her nose, and two white dots tastefully detailed just below each eye.  "Hey outsider, I'm Haylene.  I see you've taken the liberty of acquainting yourself with Jericho.  Don't mind him, he's just a big softy."  she said with a wink.  Jericho let out a disapproving grunt and brushed past me, placing the firewood near a crude fireplace.  "Aw, he likes you." she gushed with sarcasm, clasping her hands together and placing them upon her cheek.  Jericho snorted and left the hut.  Haylene was first to break our brief silence, "Boy, any higher and she would've given you a real shiner."  She began twirling her index fingers near her temples, "She said you went all screwy and started going on about some real conspiracy theory type stuff." she teased.  She must've seen the unamused look on my face, because she quickly followed with, "Oh, relax.  I'm just picking on you."

Feeling a tad embarrassed I attempted to change the subject, "Nice home you two have here." I said, glancing about to see cutesy paintings, a well-kept bathroom with a privacy curtain, and lastly a finely carved wooden table for dining.  It appears as though that made her a bit bashful, "Oh, it's just mine, Jerry and I aren't.. well, a couple or anything."  she played with her fingers.  She doesn't have much of a pokerface. I noticed.  "Hey, there doesn't seem to be many males here, huh?" I inquired, watching her face snap back up at me in a chipper manner.  "Why so formal, outsider?  Colts and fillies will do just fine.  It's hard to connect with you talking all that brainy medical mumbo-jumbo." Haylene gave a flirty wink, "We have a pretty even colt to filly ratio, the colts frequently venture out to secure natural resources.  But enough about them. Come, sit, kick your hooves up, make yourself comfortable and chat me up a bit." she bubbled, plopping down on a stool behind her table.  "Outsider?" I remained standing, "But Pandean says I'm a baldy." I botched the word so terribly Haylene snickered, "Baal-Di ." she said slowly, gently rolling her tongue after putting emphasis on the 'A'.

"Not to be rude, but it is quite dull of you to think you'd be Baal-Di after a meltdown like that."  I felt a bit guilty for scaring Pandean like that, especially considering the hospitality she'd shown me.  I took a seat in the stool across the table from Haylene, "I don't have hooves, but I suppose I wouldn't mind kicking my feet up."  She grew a sly grin, "By Faust's grace, you're a real sideshow, aren't you?" she gave a chuckle.  I'll admit, she's cute, but I'm beginning to tire of her constant taunting. I thought, my lips pulling tight.  "Where's Pandean?" I asked, managing a polite tone.  "What, you don't want to spend a little quality time with me?" she pouted, her enchanting blue eyes going soft with faux sorrow.  "I think I've spent enough quality time with Madame Mischief and The Beefneck Bandit."  Haylene let out an exaggerated gasp, placing a hand on her chest, "Never have I been subjected to such insult!" she said, fighting back a bout of laughter, "Retract your statement, Outsider, or we're about to rumble!"  I laughed, unable to help myself.  "I'm not going to chance having Jericho beat me to death with his pecs." I joked, and Haylene began boiling over with laughter, "I mean, seriously, he practically has a six-pack on each nipple, and you call me the sideshow!"  Haylene was nearly in tears as we both carried on, howling with laughter.

"It was nice meeting you, really, but I need to find my way back home.  Can I see Pandean now?"  I asked.  "Oh, alright.  You'll likely find her at her house," she said,"But I'll have you know, I'll administer cruel and unusual punishment if you don't behave yourself."  Haylene shot me a seductive look and I felt myself blush.  I stood up and playfully shot back, "Don't you threaten me with a good time."  I walked to the front door and opened it to the village.  Haylene wiggled her fingers, "Until we meet again, Baldy." she giggled.  I the door shut behind me and squinted from the intensity of the morning Sun.  I shaded my eyes with one hand and scanned the village, not many huts appeared to be very distinct from one another.  As I look around I see colts performing hard labor, crafting tools, constructing wagons and building what appeared to be an additional hut.  Fillies flitted about, busily carrying goods here and there.  I approached  a pair of fillies weaving baskets and inquired, "Where can I find Pandean's hut?"  The two exchanged a hesitant glance before one pointed over my shoulder, "That one, just over there." she directed, quickly returning her hands to the intricately woven basket she was working on.  "Thank you." I bowed my head slightly before continuing towards Pandean's hut.

I rapped my knuckles against the door thrice and waited patiently for a response.  A burlap curtain hung behind a window the size of a softball on the front door, and I watched as Pandean drew the burlap aside and looked at me momentarily before drawing it back and opening the door.  Pandean stood silently in the doorway as though she was waiting for me to speak.  I nervously scratched at the back of my neck, "Pan, I'm sorry." I began, avoiding eye contact with her, "What happened yesterday.. I didn't mean to act that way.  I didn't intend to let my stress get to me in such a way.  I hope we can start off.. on a new hoof." I met her gentle green eyes and she smiled at me.  Pandean stepped aside and I entered her home, noticing the remnants of the potted mint plant broken in a basket against the wall, "Did I do that?" I asked, frowning at it.  She sat down on her stool and gestured for me to do the same.  "You knocked over the table when you passed out." Pandean replied, her eyes followed me as I sat down.  I let out a sigh, feeling terrible at this point, "Again, I'm sorry.  I'll replace that for you."  She shook her head, "Don't worry yourself, I can easily get another." she assured me.  "I understand this is a difficult situation for you." Pandean stood to retrieve a small pitcher and two clay cups, placing them on the bare tabletop.  She returned to her seat, lifting the lid from the pitcher, she thoughtfully filled both cups and offered one to me.  "Fermented punga is a delicacy native to our area,  making it a valuable commodity to traders and travellers that pass through our village."  I take the cup in my hands and a foul smell that turns my stomach wafts towards me, I'm certain it's the punga.  I watch as she tilts her cup back, swallowing a few times before returning it to the table.  She gives me an encouraging look, and I slowly bring it to my lips.  As I drew a swig into my mouth, and I couldn't quite appreciate the taste of skunky mold like she could.  I felt my face twist as I swallowed, a chill shot up my spine as I felt the syrupy texture running down my throat.  Pandean let out a snicker as I set my cup down,  "It may not taste very well, but the effects are very clean and you won't suffer from dehydration, which is important when you live in the desert." she took another sip, "I thought perhaps it would help to cheer you up.  Let us pick up where we left off."  I took another bitter gulp, and she followed in suit before continuing, "What are you?  I've been examining your tooth and I've never seen anything exactly like it." she asked.  "Human.. I'm going to miss that tooth."  I laughed.  She acknowledged my joke with a smile and replied, "That still doesn't tell me much.  You mentioned provinces I'm unfamiliar with, where on Equus are they?"  My gaze snapped to her, "Equus?" I said in disbelief.  "Yes?" she looked unsure of how to respond, "Are you alright?  You're pale."

-        ☬        - -

I'm oblivious to the world around me as my mind races, Equus,  I hear my heart drumming in my ears as images of Equestria fill my mind.  Is this some kind of cosmic intervention? I wondered why I was here, and how.  Pandean snapped her fingers in front of my face, making me flinch, "You're starting to scare me again. I didn't mean to upset you." she said as she studied my expression.  I shook my head briefly, "You didn't.  Things are just making more and less sense at the same time."  Pandean looked at me with a blank expression.  I took another swig of punga liquor and shook off a chill before continuing, "It seems getting home will be a challenge."  I said without further explanation.  I realized something that made me grin, "An adventure."  I watched her drink the last of what was in her cup and return her eyes to me, "I admire your headstrong attitude, Baal-Di, but adventure in these parts will get you killed."  she said bluntly, looking a bit tipsy.  I maintained my grin with enthusiasm and replied, "I'm no stranger to adventure.  I'm braver than I appear."  Pandean poured herself another cup and topped off my own, "But you are a stranger to this land.  Allow us to teach you how to survive, there's a fine line between bravery and courageous stupidity."  she insisted, her glossy eyes pleading.  Still high on the prospect of real adventure, I looked out the window to see an active volcano in the distance, "There's something here in Equus waiting for me, I just know it, and I won't find it if I remain in the village." I beamed as I added, "It's my destiny."  Pandean stared thoughtfully into her cup before taking another sip.  She returned it to her hands and looked back at me, "Let us train you, let us fit you for protective gear, let me get to know you more, and I'll let you go on your way without the worry of ailments or death."  I could see she was slightly bothered by the whole idea, so I figured a little more down time wouldn't hurt as long as she felt better, "Deal." I said firmly, smiling brightly as I imagined myself cutting down monsters, sweet armor glinting in the morning sun, sweeping a damsel off her feet.  Pandean began to laugh, gripping her stomach.  I quit my daydream and gave her a quizzical look, considering she may be a light drinker.  Pandean settled herself, "You had a foolish look on your face."  I rolled my eyes and chuckled a bit, "Let's just get to that armor."

-        ☬        - -

"The colts will train you, Haylene will instruct you, and I will be gathering supplies in the meantime." she said, gently tapping on Haylene's door.  "Why Haylene?" I wondered.  Pandean smiled, "The boys always listen to her."  My devious mind came to it's own conclusions before she opened the door, "Hey there, cuties, come here often?" she bubbled.  I perhaps took too much joy in being called a cutie.  Pandean placed her hand on my shoulder as she shook her head briefly, "I need you to teach him how to survive.  He is to depart on the morrow."  Haylene ran her fingers through her curls, "Oh, I get it, you get to drink with him, but I get stuck with the boring parts." she said, popping a smirk, "Come on, out back."  Haylene took my hand and led me to her backyard.  Pandean called out, "I'll be back with the smith for fitting." before heading off in the opposite direction.

Haylene began to drone on about the importance of water, good and bad sources, the dangers of dehydration in the desert, types of cactus, what to do in the event of a wound... I eventually began to daydream.  After a while I noticed Haylene was silent and snapped back to reality.  I looked up at her and flinched, her eyes were dark and her fists firmly fixed to her hips, "Are you listening..?" she said with a hiss.  Eek!  I think I misunderstood what Pandean meant.. I thought, breaking out into nervous laughter, "Y-Yeah!  Don't depend solely on cactus f-for water?"  Haylene softened to a slight scowl, "And why not?" she quizzed.  I searched my mind, but all I could remember was daydreams of heroism.  I smiled sheepishly at her and her eyes narrowed, "I am your teacher," she said seductively, closing the space between us, "You are my student, and I'm trying to teach you a lesson,"  Her eyes smoldered as she pressed the tip of her index finger to my chest, slowly running it down my torso.  I was burning up, knowing my luck I'd get a monstrous nosebleed and ruin the moment.  "If you only consume cactus water, your kidneys will start to shut down.  Sucking down their juices is only a temporary fix to dehydration."  She poked just above one of my kidneys, winking.

She stepped back and directed my attention to the desert behind her, "It's hard to find water out here, but it's there.  You just have to know how to find it."  As she was about to begin another lecture, Pandean returned with a colt I hadn't seen before.  He was young and meek, he held a knapsack with what I assumed to be primitive sewing instruments and such.  "How are things going?" Pandean asked as she approached.  A wry smile grew upon Haylene's face before she answered, "He's good.  I'd like to touch on some more subjects," her gaze briefly shifted to me before she continued, "But otherwise, he's good to go."  Pandean laughed awkwardly, "Alrighty then.. This is Ike, he will be fitting you for a Sissoo chest piece and shin guards."  Ike withdrew a lengthy rope from his knapsack, "Arms up, please." he seemed so timid his voice was nearly a whisper.  I raised my arms and he wrapped the rope around my chest once, then my waist, snipping off lengths as he went.  "I've not heard of Sissoo before, what's it like?  How strong is it?"  I inquired.  I watched Pandean sit down on the ground, a small plume of dry dirt tossed up and quickly settled, "Well, we use Sissoo a lot because it's so abundant here.  It's a hardy material, so we feel confident in outfitting our warriors in it, given we opt for a full-body ensemble.  I think the color is pretty, it reminds me of the desert plains." she smiled gently, shifting her gaze to the wastes, "Ike refuses to hunt, he finds it disturbing.  He works hard to prove himself as an excellent smith.  He whittles some of the most beautiful art into his pieces, and I find it hard to deny him his dream."  Ike looked back at Pandean and smiled.  I raised a brow, "Whittle?  Wouldn't that make the metal brittle or flawed?" I asked, innocently enough.  Ike motioned for me to spread my feet a bit, wrapping rope around various parts of my leg, snipping away measurements.  Pandean looked confused before chuckling briefly, "No, no, you don't understand me.  He's a wood whittler, Baal-Di.  Sissoo grows in the nearby forest."  And just like that, visions of gleaming armor were gone, replaced with the mental image of a log strapped to my chest, bark flaps strung against my shins.  I facepalmed.  "At least it's something.."  I muttered, trying to appreciate the silver lining.

A small group of colts came around the side of Haylene's hut carrying swords.  Much to my displeasure, Jericho was among these few.  Haylene hopped up and wiggled her fingers, "Aw, sugar cube, I knew you couldn't stay mad at me." she beamed, her cheekbones became more defined as she gave a sweet smile.  As the group came to a stop next to us, Jericho looked to Haylene, and then to me, letting out a huff of air through his nostrils that tousled my hair.  I felt he would more accurately be described using words such as 'horrifying' or 'killing machine'.  Ike scrambled to scoop up the rope clippings and stumbled back.  Jericho shot a glaring look at Ike and watched him scurry away, perhaps back to his shop.

"At least let us help you prepare for the start of you journey before you leave and get yourself killed".

We both step outside, I take a deep breath giving the outer lands a determined stare. "Do you even know where you will be going" she asks me. My face falls letting out the breath I had with a long hard sigh. I take a moment to think it over.

"You wouldn't happen to know witch direction Canterlot would be do you?"

She looked at me shocked "how do you know about that".

Oh shit I just said something I wasn't supposed to "... alien, remember".

She leans in close giving me a hard stare as if questioning if the hole bit about me being an alien was real or not.

"Do I need to probe you to prove that I'm telling the truth". you would like wouldn't you, shut up brain.

She then looked a bit worried to say the least "don't worry I won't do anything lake that to you, know are you going to tell me or not"

"I'm sorry but I don't know where Canterlot would be but if you're seeking a way back to your home planet then try going through the Shadow Forest. There are rumors of a lost civilization that once held one of the most powerful magical artifacts in the world",

"And what prey tell would happen to be lurking in that forest".

"Not sure, one of the villagers said he saw a shadow of a giant eight legged creature deep within the trees".

giant spider, call it. Shouldn't be too hard just avoid the mouth and ass or whatever its called and watch out for the ability to shoot webs like spider man. Possible weak points would be the eyes, under belly and maybe the joints. If my guess is right then that things exoskeleton would be like armor so it would need gaps in it in order to move. But what if it's a mama spider and has tons of baby spiders the size of us, god damit brain shut up.

_________________________

About an hour an a half later, the villagers pitched in to help me wit my journey. I now have acquired a simple bag witch can hold a small amount of items. The bag roughly has about 10 slot to carry small item, depending on size and quantity, damn those games. My starting items consist of a lantern and lam oil, water pack, flint, and enough fruit to last for about 3 days. The fruit looks like a four pointed drop with skin rougher than a potato and are big enough to take up almost all the space in my bag, this is the fruit that's called punga, why does that name sound so familiar.

"There, you should be set for a few days but you should look for food and water to help spare it out and be carful of what you put in your mouth" that's what she said, shut up brain. "It could be poisonous, watch where you step you never know what could be by your hooves" should I point out that I have feet not hooves. "And be sure to wash yourself as often as you can, don't want any predators to smell you out" Haylene instructed.

"Yes mom, ok mom, understood mom" actually that last bit is very helpful.

"Call me mom again and I'll spank you with a rock" she warns me crossing her arms and giving me a devious smile.

"I don't think Jeri would appreciate that" she looked a bit surprised at my response. "He's already giving me the stink eye because of how much care your showing me" I remark, subtly pointing in his direction.

She looks in his direction to witch he turned away after a second. "Seriously how long have you two known each other".

"Well, he's always been looking out for me even since we were kids" she says as she reminisces.

"How much do you like him"

"Like him?" she looks at me tilting her head slightly.

"Do you love him" I ask her flat out.

"LOVE!" she blurts out loud.

I shush her and risk a glance over to Jericho, I now know how Discord felt when getting turned to stone for the second time. Like staring into the eyes of a monster cockatrice. I would of cracked under the pressure if my brain hadn't of chimed in, euh talk about a mean face, Fluttershy is scarier than him when she's pissed off. I swear his stare is so intense I can feel myself shaking!?

"Is it me or is the ground shaking?" I say looking over at Haylene.

"No I feel it too" she says recovering from her outburst.

Looking around I noticed the hole village is starting to panic. Is it an earth quake or maybe the volcano is about to erupt. The volcano isn't spewing any more smoke than it already is. Looking out to the forest I can see the trees aren't swaying a lot so that means this ground quake is directly under us. If it isn't an earth quake or the volcano then what is it? Maybe its a giant earth worm, don't be ridiculous brain even this planet wouldn't have anything that massive right?

Just as I finished that thought the ground erupted in the middle of the village. Well at least Gears of War 2 taught me how to deal with a monster worm, with that thought I heard a loud spine chilling hissing. As the dust and rule cleared I saw the terror. If only you had a sword, tactics from Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets would be helpful right now, I swear to god brain now's not the time.

A Celestia damned basilisk, by whatever divine power that brought me here, why. The giant snake opened up its gaping void of a mouth and let out a terrifying hissing roar. At that moment me and my brain thought of the exact same thing at the same time, shit.