Types of Love

by TheGreatEater

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Rarity, Other, Romance
Length: 26352

[GoldenVerse side fic.] After Raindrops brings up some unsettling facts about Spike, Twilight and Rarity are forced to take a look at themselves and their treatment of a young Drake who has been a major part of their life.

[GoldenVerse side fic.] After Raindrops brings up some unsettling facts about Spike, Twilight and Rarity are forced to take a look at themselves and their treatment of a young Drake who has been a major part of their life. For Twilight, it's the role of a mother who's taken for granted and ignored her son for most of his life. For Rarity, it's the treatment of a very special friend as free labor.

After their bout of introspection, they work to make it up to him, and grow themselves along the way. This is the Momma Twi, Sparity fic I mentioned in the comment section of "Getting Ready".

Cover Art: http://neko-me.deviantart.com/
[Sidenote: If you like this bit of art. Drop neko a line, Neko does lots of rather good art. Well worth the money for the art.]

Editor: Kingtiger666

First fic of the Goldenverse: Golden Wings

Published 2014-08-21 21:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-23 00:05:54 UTC

Conversations

Princess Celestia,

Or I guess I should just call you Celestia from now on like you keep asking me since I’m a Princess now too. There are some things that have come to light, that have opened my eyes to things I’ve been blind to. You’re the first pony I could think of to talk to.

So here it goes A little filly that lives here, the one that recently was deemed an honorary sister to Rainbow Dash, was discovered to be living on the streets. Her name is Scootaloo, and I’m shocked that nopony, including myself, noticed. The mare who found her found out that Scootaloo had been taking money and materials for survival. She came up with money of her own to pay back what was stolen, but even without that ponies, here are so much more accepting than in bigger cities, and I was proven right during when Scootaloo came out and confessed.

It was quite the get together, lots of tears, but in the end, everypony forgave her. They were more upset that they hadn’t noticed Scootaloo’s plight. It made me think that if a sweet filly like Scootaloo could be alone for years, unnoticed, who knows how many others have slipped through the cracks? Is there anything we can do for them?

That brings up another subject. From what I’ve heard from plenty of ponies in their childhood, they either ran away from home to make their living, or wandered across Equestria without adult supervision before they got their cutie mark.

It made me wonder, in regards to Scootaloo, why is it so natural to ignore the young? Let them go places that even adults would consider horrifyingly dangerous, or situations that in other ways would be considered negligent, but not bat an eye? How many children get injured or die from adults not knowing or caring where their young are? I know that the adults of Equestria love their foals, and look after them if they’re in eyesight, but how did this culture of “out of sight, out of mind” come about?

On a separate, yet related note. I. Am. The. Worst. Mother EVER! I never really thought of where Spike fit into my life. I hatched him from an egg, sure, and when he was a little hatchling he followed me everywhere, clear indications of imprinting. Especially considering that he would go into hysterics when I wasn’t around for long stretches of time. I just chalked it up to a baby being a baby, but didn’t think much of it at the time. After all, I was just a filly.

Nopony has ever raised a dragon before, but even then, training him with tutors alongside me, and was held to the same high standard. Again, something I should’ve questioned, but at the time it was just so useful. Someone to be a soundboard to my lectures other than Smartypants and Mr. Wigglesworth; Someone that could make my life easier; But more importantly, since I didn’t see the need for social interaction, I never gave thought that he might need more than he got.

For so long, I never thought about it. Then a few days ago, the same social worker who helped Scootaloo looked into Spike. How come we never thought that working him like an adult was a bad thing? And the dog basket, I know that I used it when he was a hatchling because he loved sleeping surrounded by my scent and the basket let me keep him near in case I needed something.

But the worst of all is that, and I know she never meant to hurt him, that Rarity’s use of him as a mobile pin cushion has chipped and bored holes into his scales. He even mentioned that when he was in the lava pool with the dragons he felt itchy in there. That means that some of the lava was able to get deep enough to act as an irritant. He could’ve died, and nopony would’ve noticed the damage until it was too late! What kind of mother does that make me?

Anyway, I’m going to have Spike send this to you and have a proper freak out.

Your faithful student,

-Twilight Sparkle

Dearest Twilight Sparkle,

You’re a co-ruler in our nation’s triumvirate. You are no longer my student, but my equal. A friend as well, I hope, but enough pleasant teasing. This note you sent me is quite the food for thought. It really does sadden me that anypony under my sun could spend years on the streets alone. Especially when that filly is one that has captured my sister’s heart. I hear quite a bit of that filly from Luna and their dream adventures.

If Scootaloo was a unicorn, I know my sister would jump at the chance to take her as a student. Even without that, knowing Scootaloo is in the care of a social worker is good. May I inquire as to who’s taking care of her? As for your other question, on the matter. Even when Luna and I were foals, hard to imagine, I know, but there was a time when Lulu and I were young. We weren’t just popped out full grown. But it was like that then as well.

It’s a cultural thing that ponies have never really grown out of. Of course back then it was a way to ‘cull the herd’ as it were. Ensuring the smartest and strongest survived, while those who foolishly risked themselves were no longer able to add their seed to the herd. Survival of the fittest as it were.

Of course nowadays it’s just something that happens. If a foal wants to run off to discover themselves, or doesn’t feel their cutie mark is suitable for their current living conditions, they move away, and ponies just let them be. Of course, knowing that same mentality is also something that fostered Scootaloo’s previous living conditions, it’s something we as princesses should address in our next summit.

As for Spike, I’ll be honest, Spike is the first dragon in pony civilization that has been monitored, raised by, and lived with ponies, not just reluctantly living alongside. With him, there have been many firsts. I’ll admit that I had him taught in an accelerated manner so that he could be of assistance to you, as well as for a few more selfish reasons.

The first being that I didn’t want him to suffer discrimination. I don’t have to tell you how cruel foals can be, and as the only dragon hatchling in civilization, I didn’t want him to suffer. Nor did I want him to be around those who would use him to get to you, and through you myself. That isn’t a life for any child. The other reason was that I wanted to study dragon magic myself. It’s how I was able to create the spell to send letters via dragon fire. Using a spell reverse engineered from what I taught Philomina when she was but a hatchling.

Unlike most beings, dragons don’t have a linear biological growth. As you’ve noticed, both when you hatched him, and during his birthday party in Ponyville, he’s hit full grown adulthood twice. Yet he has twice gone back to being a whelp. Then you have to take into consideration his mental development versus emotional development. While emotionally he’s around the age of a young colt, mentally he’s as developed as any stallion. And that growth will continue, even centuries from now as he grows into himself. How much of that is our teaching him at a level far higher than those normally taught, and how much is a dragon’s natural hyper intelligence, I do not know. And yes, I know from the few dragons that were civil enough to talk after the World Peace Convention of 832 CE, they are hyper intelligent but they as a species usually put those smarts into increasing their hoard as well as increasing their magical prowess.

But I can honestly say that you are not the worst mother ever. Yes, you have much to catch up on with Spike, but I’m sure that you can make him happy. If you ever need anything, don’t be afraid to ask. I’ll always be here for you.

You’re friend and confidante,

Celestia

Twilight set the reply down on her mahogany desk, and leaned back, staring at the ceiling. She took a deep breath and collected her thoughts. There was a lot to think about. She had always called Spike her Number One Assistant, and a baby dragon. But thinking about it, she didn’t truly know whether he was a child of the Crusader’s age group, or an adult. In many ways, Celestia’s experiment was a success, that little dragon of hers was perfect for her, and did allow her to focus solely on whatever tasks she came across.

But she didn’t have to worry about discrimination, now that she thought about it. Spike had tons of friends. A shiver ran down her spine as she recalled that in five years, Spike had rarely seen or spoken to the friends he made in Canterlot while she was busy in her school work. Although some of them, like Amethyst Star and Lyra Heartstrings had moved to Ponyville, or commuted back and forth, he still had very little time to hangout with his old friends. Nonetheless, discrimination was rarely a problem. He had ponies to look out for him, but he would’ve had more to worry about from those who would try to use him. Thankfully, being around her and Celestia’s staff constantly prevented that when he was younger. But Twilight wasn’t sure if that was a good enough excuse.

As for the enhanced curriculum, now that it clicked that he was her son, she knew that was no way to raise a child who had no say in the matter. Worst still, she grew into being antisocial until she came into Ponyville. But he had been forced into a higher state of learning, and cut off from normal means of development, stunting the milestones most foals need to grow into well adjusted adults. Worst still, she set it up so that it was hard to put him into school as a student, since with his honorary masters degrees, something she needed to fix now that she saw the racism in that, any curriculum they did was going to be beneath him.

Sighing, Twilight looked around her room, taking stock of Spike’s few meager possessions. Her face set in a look of pure determination, she thought to herself, I’m going to be the best mother ever to Spike! I need to get the girls, we’ve got lots of work to do!

Rarity and Spike sat on Rarity’s fainting couch, a small dining tray resting between them. The pot was filled with Pachydermian Chai that Rarity recently discovered thanks to Fancy Pants. Sipping her cup daintily, Spike initiated the conversation. “So we said we’d wait until after Scootaloo’s little get together until we talked… So what now?”

Setting her cup down, she sighed. “Honestly Spikey-Wi -... no Spike, I don’t know. I admit that your feelings for me were the worst kept secret in all of Ponyville.”

“Thanks, Twi,” Spike mumbled sarcastically.

“Now Spike, don’t say that about Twilight, after all, even without that everypony knew,” Rarity replied.

“If you knew then why didn’t you say anything?” Spike asked, his eyes watering slightly.

“A few reasons actually, and I’m afraid none of them are what you’d like to hear.”

“I don’t mind, I just want to know.”

“Well honestly, you confuse me, Spike. On one hoof, you’re a baby dragon who looks no bigger than my sister. So in that respect, it’d be like reciprocating with a foal. And that’s illegal on so many levels. But on the other, I’ve seen you grow into adulthood, even if temporarily, and you have the intellect and responsibilities of an adult.

“Dare I say, in some areas you do more than most adults I know would ever dream of doing. And let’s not ignore the fact that you have moments when you act so young, emotionally, but other times you are so grown up. That is a source of so much confusion, Spike,” Rarity said, looking deep into her cup.

“I’m sorry,” Spike sighed.

“Pish-posh, there’s nothing to be sorry for. The other reason is that, well, I’m your first crush. First major one, anyway. And I was hoping that like all crushes it would fade over time and you’d fall for somepony more fitting for you. After all, even those rare ponies who do end up with their crushes, very few of those last any amount of time. And those usually end in heart break. Something that I’d like to spare you from.

“Lastly, simply put... You are a drake that I care deeply about as a friend, even as horrible of a friend I’ve been. And when those relationships between friends go from friendship to romance. When it falls through, it’s very hard to remain friends afterwards. And I’d hate it if that rift came between us. Even though I’m Twilight’s friend, hurting your heart would probably make her try to banish me to the center of the sun,” She drank the rest of her chai as Spike thought about his reply.

“Yeah, Twilight would probably try to do that, but I wouldn’t let her. To be fair, those are good reasons, but if I wanted to give us a chance, would you want to try? See if there could be an us?” Spike asked.

“I’m not saying no. But can you hold off a while longer? I need to get my feelings in order,” Rarity asked, trying to buy herself time.

“Alright, and Rares. No matter what you chose or what happens, I’ll always be your friend,” Spike replied, earning himself a hug from Rarity.

Author's Note

So on the point of the "honorary degrees". On the show we see a lot of specieism, both accidental and on purpose. Mules are a walking racial slur, with a large majority of Equestrian terminology insulting them or using negative stereotypes in Equestrian Slang / vernacular [Too cool for mule; You're as stubborn as a mule; etc.]; Donkies are a major minority, and their relationships with ponies are frowned upon [see mule above]; and even Minotaurs are called monsters.

So it makes sense to me that a dragon, would be treated [as he is when he sees a doctor / others to get help when he was in her greedy-phase] as a lesser creature. Or not worthy of the same privileges as a pony by those who run higher education institutes. So while he has numerous Masters degrees, and a few Bachelors. As well as co-authored a few papers with Twilight [since he'd be used to having her bounce ideas off of him, or as a living sound board]. So the "honorary degrees" are both a civil insult as well as what acknowledging without acknowledging Spike.

I bring that up because it's a big discussion that me and my editor got into, and I wanted to give context to that.

Next is Spike + Rares. I have numerous paths and sub-paths they can go. Both Best Friend-ship, Ship, and Polyamorous Shipping. But regardless of what paths I take. Rarity is going to be an important part of Spike's life.

I sometimes like to ask my readers their thoughts, and this is one of those times. What would you all like to see with Spike and Rares?

Do I Belong?

Spike walked forlornly into the Golden Oaks Library. A part of him was glad that everything was out in the open now. He didn’t know what Rarity was going to choose, but knowing how she really felt made him feel like a Tom-sized boulder was lifted off of his shoulders. In it’s place was an icy lump settling in his stomach.

As he walked through the doors, he saw an anxious looking Twilight, who was hunched over looking over a letter. With how frazzled her mane was looking, and the dilated pupils that she got when a few steps away from having a Twilight-level breakdown. Even with his confusion, he cared about Twilight. “Hey Twilight, what’s the matter?”

“Oh hi Spike! Nothing’s the matter, why would you ask if anything’s the matter?” Twilight said, a nervous smile on her face.

“Twilight, I’ve known you since forever. Now you can either tell me what the matter is or I can send a letter to Princess Celestia, so what’s the matter?” Spike replied crossing his forearms and tapping his left foot, while giving her his best deadpan look that he learned from countless hours of Twilight Snarkle.

“I talked to Princess Celestia, Spike… I’m sorry,” Twilight said, looking dejectedly towards the floor.

“Twi, it’s okay. You have nothing to apologize for,” Spike said with a smile.

“No, I do Spike. I’ve been thinking, when you were hatched, I spent hours playing school with you, feeding you, because you were my special little guy. But after time I lost sight of that and treated you as something to make my life easier. I’ve treated you horribly.”

“I won’t deny that you’ve been rough these last ten years, but I wanted to make the most of the time I had with you. I’m sorry that Raindrops had to stick her muzzle in our business, it really made things more difficult for everypony,” Spike sighed.

“Don’t be mad at her, Spike. I’m glad she did what she did. And I’ll be better now that I’m aware of what needs to be fixed. Now let’s go onto a happier topic, how was your talk with Rarity?” Twilight said.

Spike looked at her and noticed that she was at least a little calmer, but the topic she wanted was far from a happy one, “It went. we talked, I’m giving her some space to sort through her feelings.”

“That … that’s very mature of you.”

“Yeah, yeah, it is. Heck, I waited five years, I can wait a while longer for her. Right?”

Twilight Sparkle wrapped a wing around Spike. “I don’t know, Spike, but I do know that no matter what, I’m proud of the drake you’ve grown up to be. I want to ask you something. What do you view me as? Like do you see me like a mom, a sister, a boss ...?”

“I… I see you like my mom. You’re the one who hatched me, and you’ve always been a part of my life,” Spike said with a blush, “Is that okay?”

“Of course. But even though we have to wait until after Raindrops makes sure that everything's right. Why don’t we go to the Town Hall to see what we need to do to make it official? If you want to that is?”

Spike wrapped his arms around Twilight and gave her a tight hug. “Thanks, Twi. Let’s go.”

Spike rode in on Twilight's back, arms wrapped around her neck as she strode into Town Hall. Even if Spike had to wait for an adoption to be Twilight's actual child, rather than just seeing himself as such. The fact that at least one of his dreams was going to become reality had him truly excited.

As they trotted to the receptionist to see about how they'd go about it. Seeing as him less than a pony meant that things were going to be different than they'd be for Scootaloo when she eventually gets a family. Unfortunately Spike could never guess just how different things would be for him.

"We're sorry Princess, but Ponyville doesn't have the forms needed to adopt pets, if you'd like we can request those forms from one of the bigger cities,"

"What do you mean, a pet?" Twilight asked in a controlled, icy tone.

"Sorry Princess," The receptionist, a beige Earth Pony stallion with light brown mane, replied, "But everypony knows that you took him to a vet when he had that episode. And that's just another proof that we're lucky that you semi-domesticated him. No offence, Spike, but everypony sees you as a pet. After all, you're a dragon."

"WHAT'S THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!?" Twilight yelled in frustration, "AND I TOOK HIM TO A VET BECAUSE THE DOCTOR RECOMMEND -- Oh Tartarus no."

"It has everything to do with everything. Butterflies migrate, birds migrate, dragons migrate, non-pets don't other than livestock. The civilized races can be adopted, even such exotic ones as Minotaurs or Quilin. Dragons are uncivilized, greed fueled monsters, and not capable of the thinking needed to be considered anything more than a smart animal.

"And as you said, the doctor that looks after all sorts of citizen species told you that Spike deserved to be sent to a Veterinarian," the receptionist replied, "nothing against Spike, but he's the exception not the rule. As I said earlier, we're lucky that you domesticated him."

Nopony looked at Spike as he waddled sullenly out the door. Spike thought the other ponies saw him as one of them, like how he saw himself after seeing how the other dragons lived.

But to have his eyes opened like that, to see that ponies saw him as just another dragon, something that time grow into a monster and destroy everything at any time...

They don't even see me as anything more than a pet. Is that how the girls see me? Is that how everypony sees me? As a thing that just happens to exist to serve ponies? No wonder Rarity wanted time to think, beastiality is illegal, and who'd want to date a pet? So I guess I never really did have a shot with her, did I? Heck, I can't even have the pony who hatched me as a mother. What chance do I have as a special somepony? No not somepony, somedragonI don't know what to do ... Even when I thought Owlicious was replacing me, I never felt so lost...

Spike was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't see an equally lost Rarity walking down the road. Although lost for different reasons. When she saw the miserable little whelp, she felt her heart break at the sight. "Spike, what's wrong?" She asked tentatively.

"Nothing, I'm fine," Spike mumbled, looking at the ground. His entire downtrodden body, however, shouted the exact opposite.

"Was it about our talk?"

"No, it ... it was ... it was nothing. It doesn't matter," Spike replied.

"Oh posh!" Rarity said empathetically, "We're going to the Cake's Confectionary Emporium, and I'm going to ply you with Pinkie Pie's Ruby Muffin Surprise and ice cream until you open up!"

Lifting him up in her magic, she carried him bodily over to Sugarcube Corner, and walked into the Cake's store. She set a still depressed Spike in a booth at the back for a semblance of privacy and walked to the counter. She said to Pinkie Pie who was mareing at the register, "Pinkie Pie, can you be a dear and make your Spike Special? I feel he needs the big guns, as it were, to cheer him up?"

"Like a Party?" Pinkie Pie gasped.

"I have a feeling that wouldn't be best. Maybe after Twilight does that thing she talked to us about earlier, then we can throw a bigger party... Unless that feeds his greed and causes that birthday incident all over again,” Rarity rambled, “Though he has gotten so much better at handling his greed... but I'll leave that up to you I guess.”

"Okie Dokie Lokie! Just leave it to the professionals, and I'll make sure to make Spike's treats extra special! It really was nice of you to give us gems so that we could make Spike special treats, you know you really are a good friend!" Pinkie said with a cake eating grin.

Rarity sighed. "Thank you, Pinkie darling. I needed that more than you know. And, can you also throw in my usual? I need a little pick-me up as well."

"Now Spike, what's the matter? We aren't leaving until we talk, after all, friends talk about things hurting them, you know?" Rarity said, returning to Spike with a small smile on her face.

Spike quickly grew bored of looking at the swirls on the wooden table and spoke, "I finally admitted that I thought of Twilight as my mom. After all these years, she finally asked and I was finally able to tell her. You can't possibly know how amazing that feels...

"Probably not even if Sweetie told you that you were like a mom to her! Don't know if she does, but with all that time your folks leave her in your care and how she looks up to you, and the friendship letters she writes to Celestia about you I wouldn't be surprised. But anyways, we went to see how to go about it ... and it was horrible!" Spike sniffled, tears of anger and sorrow building in his eyes.

"Sweetie, like a daughter... What does she say about me?" Rarity asked.

"Nothing big ... she says a lot of stuff. How you got over some of your fights, how you helped her with random tasks even when you were busy, how she wants to make you proud of her and be as amazing as you are some day. She really does love you. You don't know how lucky you are to have a sister like her."

"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to get side tracked. What happened at Town Hall?"

"They. Don't. Adopt. Pets," Spike hissed, sounding more intimidating since he could actually hiss.

"What!? Who'd think you're a pet!?" Rarity shouted indignantly.

"The receptionist pony, and when I left I could see that Twilight was seeing it too. Heck, they didn't even acknowledge me as I left. He even said that others have saw me as a pet, that dragons aren't civilized, aren't on the adoption papers that the other races are, and Ponyville doesn't have the forms to adopt a pet," Spike recapped.

"I don't, and neither do the rest of the girls," Rarity said, grinning hopefully, "and I'm sure that if you were to talk to Celestia and Cadance they won’t see you as one either. Tartarus, I heard from Twilight that Cadance mentioned you in her last letter about how big a deal you are in the Crystal Empire."

"Yeah, I might talk to them later... But you girls are probably the exception amongst other ponies."

Rarity looked at the whelp before her. If I thought it would make things right, I would date him here and now just so that he sees how important he is to us. But with my uncertainties, and how things turned out last time I did that... It would only end in disaster, and Spike means more to me than to hurt him like that.

Placing a hoof on his shoulder, she looked into his sad eyes and said with a smile, "Spike, I promise you that not every pony sees you as how dragons are made out to be. And those that are, their lives are better for it. Maybe the other princesses can make a law to let others know that dragons aren't what the stories make them out to be.

"And I admit, if I thought I could make everything right by becoming your marefriend right here and now, I would. But before I tell you why not, can I tell you a story? If you're interested?"

"Sure. I guess?"

"Well, years ago when I was a little filly like Sweetie Belle, I was quite popular, as you could probably guess. There was this young colt in my class named Ashen Cog. Now, he wasn't the most attractive of ponies. He was scrawny, other ponies thought he looked odd, and he was quite shy.

"Yet even with all of that, we were friends of sorts. But in the folly of my youth I thought if I was his fillyfriend, even though I didn't quite feel that way about him, he'd be happier and would be more popular, which would help a friend out.

"But that was my mistake. Since I was unsure of my feelings, even more than most foals are with their emotions at that age, I didn't really connect with him. At first things weren't that bad. He was a gentlecolt, just as you are quite a gentledrake, and while we didn't connect all that much, I didn't think anything ill of it. But over the weeks, tiny things started to build between us. My love and devotion to my craft, his obsession with repair work. My theatrics and his eccentricities. Differences of opinions, and eventually it just built up.

"Soon we were dating simply but didn't enjoy it, and we were together just to not hurt the other. Eventually that tension built to the point that we started fighting over every little thing. And I'm ashamed to say that I lost a very special friend that way. Do you understand the moral of the story?" Rarity said, her eyes misty from those old wounds.

"I think so? You don't want to just date me right now because it'd hurt us both in the long run like that Ash stallion?"

"Exactly. Now with that said, if for whatever reason we don't date, or we do and things don't work out... After your heart has healed, I hope we can still be friends, because you are very special to me. And I'd be your wingmare whenever you needed it because even as confused as I am, you are special to all of us. Everypony whose life you touch, you make all the more special. Hopefully someday either myself or somepony else who's more deserving of your love will make you as happy as you do others.

"But never forget just how special you are, okay?"

"Okay... Rarity?"

"Yes Spike?"

"Even if we are just friends after you’ve had time to think, I'm the lucky one to have friends like you and the girls. Thanks," Spike smiled sadly. I'm going to speak with Celestia first. But I'm going tonight, if I go now Twi will freak ... Then who knows, I might be able to call her mom yet.

After Spike sent a dragonfire message to Twilight to let her know he was coming home, he ran into Raindrops and Scootaloo walking down the street. They waved him over and trotted up to meet him.

"Hello, Spike! How have you been? I'm sorry I didn't take the time to chat at Scootaloo's party yesterday," Raindrops asked.

"Not good, to tell you the truth. Twilight's great and really working on those things you talked about, but I just learned that I can't be her son," Spike said sadly.

"Why not? From what I saw, while oblivious in some regards, I saw that she cares about you, so why can't you be her son?"

"Because the law says that dragons are pets apparently," Spike replied angrily.

"What! You're not a pet!" Scootaloo huffed just as angrily, "Sure we might not be friends and hang out and stuff, but you're every bit as pony as I am... Just, a dragon!"

"I have to agree, well not on the pony part. But with how well mannered you appear, and how sentient you are, you are a child, and I would never have acted as I did if I didn't think you were," Raindrops added.

"What do you mean?" Spike asked.

"One of my many jobs is as Foal Protective Services, not whatever pets have. And even though I've never had any of my own, I'm very protective of the foals that I meet. If I didn't think you were every bit a foal as those I'm sworn to Celestia, and Luna to protect and serve. I would never have stepped in, after all pets are trained to do all sorts of jobs and have different rules on treatment.

"So if anypony can't look at you and see a young one that's every bit as deserving as any other foal, kid, or what have you, then they are blind and stupid," Raindrops finished.

Spike spent a few moments looking at the look of indignant anger on her face and gave a small smile. "You know, you might be okay after all. So enough about me for now. I really need to take my mind off me. What are you two up to?"

"Well, me and Scootaloo were on our way to Twilight," Raindrops replied.

"I'll walk with you," he said, falling into place alongside them as they walked to his home.

Scootaloo looked at him as they walked and decided to break the ice. "Hey Spike."

"What's up, Scootaloo?"

"I know we never really see each other, or hang out, or whatever. But if you ever want to chill, you can hang out with me and the Crusaders if you'd like. We might be aquawhatsists-"

"Acquaintances," Spike corrected.

"Sure, that thing. But I'd like to be your friend if you'd like. And I'm sure the crusaders would like to be your friend too. Then everypony can see that you're a cool friend, and maybe think you're a pony like them?" Scootaloo said innocently.

"I might be busy for a while coming up, but yeah. I think I'd like to be your friend," Spike said. Maybe not everypony thinks I'm a pet after all. Still, there's too many for comfort. And Raindrops might not be that bad after all. Even if she is a bit nosey.

Later that night, Spike left Twilight a note saying that he was going to Canterlot to speak with Celestia and maybe Luna, and a few other things. The hardest part of that letter read, " ... I talked to Raindrops earlier. She said that she thought of me like any foal, it really made my day for a stranger to say that. But it drove home a simple fact, I might have been an adult a few times, and I might be an adult mentally, but ponies that see me as an equal see me as a child.

Let Rarity know that I came to the conclusion that we should just be friends. Don't tell her this part, but it wasn't fair of me to dump that on her. I'm glad we talked, and I'm the happiest drake in the universe to know that I'm special to her and all of you. But those who don't, see me as a pet, see me as a child, or both. And I know that she doesn't know whether to see me as a child or an adult. So to clear my head, and get a Princess’s prospective I'm going to clear my head ..."

Sure, he admitted to himself. He was attracted to mares around the Bearer’s age. Since he grew up with ponies of that age group, went to a few correspondence classes where he wasn't able to get it done privately, in places he was seen by most as an oddity, or a fixture of the palace. Other than a few of his older friends.

Friends he felt bad for losing touch with, even though a few of them were in Ponyville. But ever since he came to Ponyville, his workload increased a hundredfold, what with doing all the library work, extra chores, food prep and buying (now that the palace isn't footing that workload), and other extras that popped up ever since Twilight became more social, and it only increased more now that she was a Princess.

But now that he had it nailed in that others saw him as a kid, he wondered if any of them saw him as a peer or just a kid brother playing grownup?

As he stopped at the train station to get a ticket for the night train to Canterlot, he saw the last thing he ever expected to see. Diamond Tiara, tiara-less, sitting on a bench.

While he never was close to her, he had heard enough horror stories, as well as the latest gossip about her getting in trouble for threatening other ponies. But he thought that everypony deserved at least a chance to prove they weren't a monster, and plopped beside her, shaking her out of her thoughts.

"Hey, you're leaving too?" Spike asked.

"Yeah, I'm going to Canterlot where nopony has heard of me and starting fresh," she mumbled.

"So I might not really know why you did all you did but I heard that all you need to do is apologise is that so hard really?" Spike wondered.

"Daddy saw the black book she left me before she left us for Manehatten," Diamond Tiara said, "Mommy said that it's what she used to get rid of the competition that didn't know to leave when daddy was beating them. And that if you ever want to get ahead in life you need to get dirt on everypony and make sure to put others in their proper place. Beneath you were they belong ... Mommy said a lot of things like that."

"Who's your mom?"

"Spoiled Rich. She left us a few years back. And I thought if I was good enough like her she'd be proud of me and want to come back and be my mommy again, and daddy would finally pay attention to me rather than business. Did you know that he wasn't even at my Cutecenera? Even after I invited everypony like he wanted me to? But that didn't happen... And after he found all the stuff about ponies that mommy left behind so that I could be like her he... He... I've never seen him so mad.

"I know he hates me now, so I'm leaving. Starting fresh. And maybe someday... If I'm better than who I was, he'll love me again," Diamond Tiara spilled years of repressed anger and sorrow onto the nearest object, Spike, and cried on his shoulders.

"Hey, Twilight learned a friendship lesson ages ago about giving ponies a second chance. Since we're both going to Canterlot, why don't you come with me and I can see about setting you up somewhere? After all, everypony needs a friend, and if even a pony like Trixie can be redeemed, I don't see why you don't deserve a shot."

"Really?"

"Really. Now why don't we chat while we wait for that train?"

Author's Note

This is the part where ToL and Golden Wings split apart. I don't think of Spike personally as a pet, nor a kid. But I get how some more xenophobic / uninformed can see him as such. That and it's the problems he'd face if in a relationship. Both those that see dragons as uncivilized creatures that are monsters at most, pets at the least. As well those who see him as a child.

But it'll make the final product much more satisfying. The next story of this fic might take me until late January / mid Feburary. Giving me time to get some headway on Golden Wings, and some side projects I've been writing. But the Next Chapter, we see some sweet Momlestia fluff.

Also I appologise for the wonky indentions. My Tablet when I copy X paste a fic from GDocs it doesn't carry well. I'm working on trying to get it uniformed. But until then, I hope it's not too jarring.

To the Castle

Spike was mildly surprised, to say the least, about his newest companion. Having heard nothing but horror stories about the filly beside him and how needlessly cruel she was, it turned out there was a lot more to this pony than meets the eye.

After she stopped crying, they went to talking about various things both mundane and exciting.
Eventually their talks moved to a rather unexpected direction.

"So I've been wondering about something for awhile now," Spike mused hesitantly.

"Yes?" Diamond retorted warningly.

"What was that thing between you and Silver Spoon anyways? Did you only hang out with her because she was, like, the only other rich filly in Ponyville?"

"Spike!" She responded indignantly.

"What? You really didn't seem likely to hang out with anypony else, from what I’ve heard about you, so I was just wondering what got you two together," Spike replied quickly, raising his claws up in front of him and waving them manically, trying to convey he meant no offense.

"Well... Honestly, when I first met her, she was crying," Diamond replied with a nostalgic gleam in her eyes.

"Crying?" Spike asked.

"Yes, I don't know why, but I felt sad seeing her cry, so I asked her what the matter was. It turns out that she felt lonely, and didn't know what to do, so she decided to run away, hoping that her family would come look for her, but she didn't know where to go and nopony had come looking for her."

"Really? Nopony?"

"Nopony. Well, I know what it's like to be lonely, so I told her I'd keep her company until her family came for her. I learned some secrets that I won't share. But I also learned that everypony in her manor ignores her existence, other than to make sure she was fed if she showed up in time for meals, or make her room.

"But other than that, she was basically treated lower than the help. I didn't want to believe it, but after the sun went down, I took her to my place for a sleepover. Long story short, her parents didn't come for her, and my daddy had to walk us over to drop her off.

"They didn't even notice she left. After that, well, my daddy and I decided if she ever needed to visit, she could spend the nights with us. So we became the best of friends. Well, our only friends. She wanted to have somepony that acknowledged her existence, without comparing her to her parents.

"You should have seen her when we first started hanging out. She had no confidence whatsoever, ponies would walk into her and not even notice, Mrs. Cheerilee never saw the few times Silvy raised her hoof. I don't think it was on purpose, but Silvy was just the kind of pony that fades into the background if you aren't looking for her sometimes. So I was the personality that let everypony notice us, and by extension everypony started noticing Silver Spoon, at least a little bit.

"And as they say, the rest is history," Diamond Tiara stated as she wrapped up her story.

"Wow... So you became a bully just to get Silver Spoon’s attention?" Spike asked, after picking up his dropped jaw. He would've never expected a filly he only heard horror stories about could have a heart that big.

"Not at first, I'm just the type of pony that gets noticed in a crowd, so I shared my limelight with Silvy so that she could feel like she existed. We... Well, I became a bully mostly to spite Apple Bloom, and show off that I had a friend a billion times better than she was because I was jealous of her and her friends having everything I wanted. Then, I don't know... It just became easier to tear into them, and a kind of habit."

"You know... That part of you that went out of your way to help a pony in need like that... A lot more ponies should see that side of you," Spike replied after chewing on her story for a few moments.

"What? I do have a heart, you know!" Diamond Tiara huffed.

"I know, but it’s weird after hearing so much about you. You're friends with a pony just so they won't feel invisible... Believe it or not, I know how that feels," Spike said, putting a comforting claw on her shoulder.

Diamond Tiara looked like she didn't believe him. "Riiiight, you, a dragon, invisible?"

"That's just the thing, I'm called a ‘baby dragon’, but more often than not, I'm thought of as background noise. At least that's how it feels sometimes. I'm asked to help or work as Twilight's assistant, but when something major comes along, nine times out of ten, I'm left behind.

"Or when the girls go out to hang out and have fun. I'm left doing work until Twilight gets back, and she has all these amazing stories. But all I can say is that I cleaned and organized the library, or that I went to the store to buy groceries. Sure, helping Rarity dig up jewels is fun, since she lets me eat some of what we dig up, but I don't get to do that all that often since she digs them up in bulk. But beyond that, it almost feels like I don't exist," Spike retorted.

"Did you ever talk about it before?" Diamond asked.

"Not really. I thought if I ignored it, the feeling would go away and at least I'd be useful."

"Well... Since we're friends, you can talk to me. And just like I promised Silver Spoon when she blabbed her big dark secret to me, anything you say, I promise not to blackmail you with," Diamond said with a cheery grin.

"You know, most ponies wouldn't have to mention that if they're friends," Spike snarked, "But thanks. That means a lot."

"Oh... Other than Silver Spoon, I don't have friends. At least I don't have ponies that pretend to be nice to me because I'm rich."

"Well, now you have two friends, and you don't have to worry about me liking you because of your father's wealth."

"That means a lot to me."

The rest of the talk fluttered around various topics until the train pulled up. Spike escorted her to the coach trolley like the gentledrake he was, so they could enjoy the scenery together. Diamond Tiara put her muzzle against the window, her breath steaming up the glass. The stuffed tan cushions were, in Spike's opinion, one of the few perks of riding in trains, being much more comfortable than the bed he was used to, and the stylized, green glass that divided the seats were a nice touch. Diamond, on the other hand, was used to riding in the luxury compartments with her father, but now that she was running away from home, she was just glad that she didn't have to take the journey alone.

"You know, I've never left Ponyville before. For some reason I thought I'd be sadder to leave it all behind," Diamond sighed wistfully.

"Well you aren't going for good, so that might explain it."

"No, that's not it. I might never be able to come back. Not after I get to Canterlot. If I stay, I'll be with ponies that hate me and only see me for the things I've done. But if I leave, I'll be leaving what good memories I have as well. I have no idea what to feel. Just that I'm surprised I'm not sadder," Resting her head on his shoulder, she continued, "I think it's because I'm not alone. That a friend is coming with me that I'm not sad ... I think."

"Hey, it's what friends are for," Spike replied, having no idea what to do as Diamond Tiara snuggled closer.

"Until today I wouldn't know that. Thanks, Spike, you're cool for a dragon," With that, Diamond fell asleep on her draconic pillow.

The two hour train ride was awkward for Spike. He hadn't cuddled with anypony since Twilight was a young filly. After she got into her goth phase and told everypony to call her the Necrolord "Princess Ravenwing", which thankfully lasted until Celestia had her read, A Dark Knight's Tale. That short story had ended Twilight's fantasies of turning noisy ponies to zomponies so she could enjoy her silence rather quickly.

The week of nightmares that followed further cemented Twilight's aversion to looking into Necromancy. Although Spike was mostly glad that she stopped using the Come To Life spell to have her loyal horde of stuffed animals and dolls serve her every whim. Dolls were creepy enough without those cold, lifeless eyes being inside an animated body scurrying around. That, and they were cutting into his Twilight Time.

But just like with all awkward moments, it soon ended. As the train wound up the mountain to Canterlot Station, Spike shook Diamond Tiara awake. "But daddy, I want to share the Scootaloo Milkshake with you... Pinkie added the Silver sprinkles this time," Diamond Tiara whined sleepily.

"Diamond, it's time to wake up," Spike chuckled.

"Bwha-huh?" Diamond mumbled her, glancing around at her surroundings.

"So... You dreamt of drinking Scootaloo? And who were the Silver sprinkles?" Spike laughed.

"Hey! It's not my fault she's colored like a dreamsicle with berry toppings. And it's not important who the Silver sprinkles are. I promised I wouldn't blab," Diamond blushed.

"That's rich! I bet Scootaloo would laugh about that. But it's all good, so here we are. Are you ready to go to the castle?"

"Wait, the castle?! When you said you were going to help, I didn't think you meant the castle! I look horrible!" Diamond Tiara shouted in panic.

Having been raised around Twilight, he knew how to deal with panicking ponies, but having no tea, chocolate, or a new book to distract, her he did the next best thing, which was to intervene before it began. "Hey, don't sweat it! Celestia's like a second mom to me, and with me backing you up, it'll be good as gold. But first, we go to Pony Joe's, the best doughnut shop in the world."

"You can't expect me to believe that anypony can possibly make better doughnuts than Pinkie Pie. I swear, she's secretly an Alicorn of Sweets," Diamond retorted.

"She is, but she doesn't have anything on Pony Joe when it comes to doughnuts."

"I'll believe it when I see it."

"Sweet Celestia's Flanks! These are amazing!" Diamond gushed as they walked into the castle. Spike was fighting to suppress a chuckle at Diamond's look of wide eyed awe as she drank in the sight of the stone faced guards patrolling the castle, the rich marble floors that were waxed to a mirror shine, as well as the numerous ornate bricks that made the walls and ceiling that radiated opulence.

A box of doughnuts rested on Diamond Tiara's back, while Spike carried the cup carrier for the drinks.

"Told you," Spike replied with a smirk.

"So what now?" Diamond asked, looking nervously at the statuesque ponies that were the Royal Guards.

"Now we go talk to Luna, let her know I'm staying here, see if we can get you a place for the evening. Then we'll go on from there in the morning. Sound good?"

"It does. Who said chivalry’s dead? You really are a noble dragon," Diamond said, batting her eyes coyly.

"That's me, Spike the noble dragon," Spike replied pridefully, "But I'd help any friend who needed it."

The only reply he got from that was a blush. She changed the subject as quickly as possible. "So... You and Rarity?"

"Honestly, it's complicated. I mean, I still care about her, but we talked and I'm giving her space to think about what we are to each other. But regardless... I'm glad we finally talked, and even if... If it’s not meant to be, at least I know we'll be great friends."

"Friends? With a pony you crushed on?"

"Sure. Real friends can work through anything, and I wouldn't want to lose a friend over something like that."

"Wow... That's really mature," Diamond said in awe. She didn't think she'd be able to do that if it was her. Not that she was crushing on Spike. After all she just met him, and he was, while not a colt, still close enough. And colts were weird, a universal truth every filly knew.

There was one thing that could be said about Night Court: It was utterly boring. Luna contemplated this as she sat upon her throne. She had gotten through to the nobility that they couldn't go behind Celestia' back to get her to pass something that her sister denied, or try to take advantage of her being a millenium behind everypony when it came to politics. Somethings rarely change even a thousand years later... Although she was sad that she couldn't dunk them in tree sap, roll them in feathers, then make them run through a busy city street singing the Equestrian National Anthem. Something about cruel and unusual punishment being banned a few centuries prior.

But since the nobility dribbled down to almost non-existent visits, she had fewer visitors. But unlike the last time, she had ponies who didn't visit her, but still celebrated her nights. And unlike Tia, who had a schedule crammed so full, Luna was surprised that her sister had time to even scratch her nose with how every moment was accounted for.

Luna had a much more fluid schedule, and enjoyed abusing that for time to mingle with her little ponies and visiting the dreamscape to help those ponies who weren't active during her night. Just as she was about to call tonight’s court a wash and go out to enjoy the new invention of "clubbing", which didn't involve a warhammer and a bog full of trolls and hydras. Ah! The good old days. Where have all the old time sports gone off too. Last time I asked Tia about my old pastimes, she said words like ‘politically incorrect’, or ‘it no longer exists’. What's so wrong about lava surfing, or swimming in pools of rainbows as lightning rains down around oneself?

When a knock sounded on her throne room door, and after a quick inspection from the royal scribe, a small grey unicorn stallion with a golden mane, who looked like a rod was permanently stuck up his plot, a rather surprising visitor was announced. "Spike plus guest has arrived, and they bring refreshments."

"Huzzah! Let in the young whelp and his friend,” Luna cheered, “Will you be joining us, dear scribe?".

"No thank you, Princess, thank you very much for asking though," Her scribe replied.

"No problems, now let's see what Spike has brought!" Luna decreed merrily.

Author's Note

Sorry this chapter came out so late. IRL's been insane, and I've discvered that the list of stories in the side bar are a bigger time sink than TVtropes is..

But it's finally here.

Talking to Luna

Spike looked at the wound up ball of nerves that was Diamond Tiara as she stepped into the Royal Court, an expansive gallery lined with stained glass windows, with long red carpet leading to a massive throne made her feel smaller than small at the moment. "Hey, don't worry! Sure, Luna and I don't hang out that much, but she's pretty fun the few times we do get together."

"But what about -" Diamond started before Spike interrupted.

"Don't worry about it. She's cool, it's cool. We're going to have some fun."

"If you say so," Diamond Tiara muttered uncertainly.

"Greetings, Spike! Who is your guest!?" Luna yelled joyously from the Lunar Throne.

"Hi, Luna! This is Diamond Tiara. Diamond Tiara this is Luna." Spike introduced.

"A pleasure," Luna nodded, "Oh! Doughnuts!" She added, leaping over Spike to pounce upon the treats resting on Diamond Tiara's back.

"So Luna, I'm going to be staying here for a while, and I thought I'd bring a friend, and some treats."

"Yeah... A friend," Diamond mumbled.

Luna looked up from the doughnut she was munching on, and let it join the other sugary confectionaries that orbited her head as she rest a measured gaze at Diamond Tiara, "Do you not think of Spike as a friend?"

"Well... He just became my friend as I was waiting to leave Ponyville," She blushed lightly, "Sure, I'm thankful that you're helping me. It's just... Weird, I guess."

Luna chuckled. "Why is it weird, my little pony?"

"The world doesn't work like that. The only reason a pony helps another is because they want something in return," Suddenly, Diamond remembered to whom she was speaking, "Your Highness."

"Rise, my little pony, who told you that?"

"It's one of the things my mom told me when she was around."

Luna paused at that, seeing the demure filly scuffing the ground with her forehoof. "My condolences."

"What? Oh, no! She's still alive, she just... Y’know... Left," Diamond replied sadly.

"That's also a reason to give condolences. What of your father?"

"H-He hates me. That's why I left, at least until I can become a pony he can be proud of."

"I doubt your father hates you. But while we dine on doughnuts and these delicious cups of hot cocoa, tell me everything,” Luna said, her warm gaze lingering on Diamond, “Everything, and fear not, I will not judge thee."

"No offense, Princess, but I doubt you'd say that when I finish." Diamond replied before telling Luna everything.

Luna hummed and nodded at the appropriate parts of Diamond's story, listening as she recapped what she had been doing for the last five years of her life. All leading up to her father seeing the combined blackmail material of his wife and Diamonds, as well as his reaction. At the end, Diamond Tiara's eyes were shimmering, "I've never seen him so angry. Not even when mom left for a 'higher position'."

"I see," was all Luna said afterwards. Her left forehoof scratched her chin contemplatively.

"I-it was probably a mistake coming here. Thanks for trying to help, Spike, and thank you Luna, but-"

For the second time that night she was interrupted, this time by Luna. "It was not a mistake, my little pony. Spike has shown himself over the years to be an impeccable judge of character. If he saw something in you worth getting to know, then you must have something worth getting to know."

"You really think so?"

"I do. And it's quite lucky that you two met."

"How so, Princess?"

"You aren't the first to come to Canterlot hoping for a better life. But answer me this, how many bits did you bring with you?"

"Um... Six hundred bits."

"And what is your special talent?"

"Special talent?"

"Yes, in job interviews, most jobs are processed in priority by special talent. So what is yours?"

"I don't know," Diamond Tiara answered sadly.

"You don't? How'd you acquire it?"

"My mom and daddy got me my tiara, and they said I was their pretty princess, and that they'd always love me. It was the first time I saw them looking happy together... And I don't know, I just felt happy to be acknowledged, and this thing popped onto my flanks.

But it was a lie. Mom left for some other stallion, and neither of them showed up to my cutecenera, and now daddy hates me. So no, I have no idea what my special talent is or even what my cutie mark means. Sometimes I think it'd be better if I never got one at all."

"Well, every cutie mark is special, and I think I can help," Luna replied matronly.

"But why? You heard the things I've done, why would you want to help me?"

"Because, Diamond Tiara, I know what it's like to make a mistake so big you think it's unforgivable. But I also know that Spike sees something in you worth being a friend over. So if you'd like, I can help you, and together, we can discover what it is that makes you special."

"A-alright, um... What will I be doing, Princess?"

"How would you like to be my gopher, and junior assistant-in-training?"

Spike laughed, "You mean go-for?"

Luna's eyebrows rose, and she gasped. "That makes so much more sense! I was wondering why my sister's advisors called their interns ground burrowing rodents. Yes, go for."

"That'd be... Good? I think I can do that," Diamond replied in confusion.

"So Diamond, most of my staff works during the night, but I have a few who work during the day while I'm up, similar to the few who work for my sister at night. Tomorrow morning, that will be the shift you shall start.

"But tonight, we shall talk. It has been too long since Spike and I have had time to enjoy some time together."

After the Royal Scribe told everypony that Night Court was closing early (yet again), Luna walked with Spike and Diamond Tiara to her chambers. Like her sister’s chambers, Luna's Royal Apartments were comprised of many rooms to fit whatever needs may suit her.

But unlike the whites, golds, and burgandies of Celestia’s chambers, Luna's tile and bricks were a deep grey, her ceiling molded from slabs of obsidian enchanted with mage fires, giving the appearance of a starlit sky regardless of the time of day. The rest of the room was decorated with royal purples, deep blues, and black, from the carpet depicting a stylized night sky, to the dark embroidered couches in her reading room that they passed through to reach her living room.

Which was the other key difference between their rooms. Celestia's apartment opened into her bedroom (something Luna found most bizarre), and had a rather simplistic layout. Which, thankfully for all living things within the city proper, excluded a kitchen. Whereas whomever designed Luna’s rooms made them as compartmentalized as possible, and her kitchen wasn't anywhere near the banned rooms list, unlike her sister's Room of Infinite Cakes, or the gold pool, or any of the other mind boggling rooms of folly that had yet to be safely decommissioned and rebuilt.

Luna shook her head to break from her revery as they turned into her reading room, that also led to her much larger gaming room. Which, incidentally, doubled as a room to test newer forms of entertainment. After getting comfortably cocooned in a rather thick downy blanket that she used when getting comfortable before reading, and Spike and Diamond comfortable on pillow couches, similar to the ones Celestia had dotting her reading room. Luna struck up the conversation.

"So Spike, what brings you to Canterlot?"

"Well... It's kind of a long story," Spike blushed.

"The night is young, my friend, and so are we. Well, young for an alicorn. So we have plenty of time for long stories."

"Alright, so there's this caseworker for Foal Protection Services, and you know about that bit, right?"

"Ah, yes. Raindrops, was it not?"

"Yeah, her. She had some concerns about me and brought them to Twilight's attention. And I thought things were going to finally go right for me, you know?"

Waving her forehoof, waving her forehoof for him to continue, "Well, first me and Rarity had a talk that was a long time coming. She said she didn't know how she felt about me, and she needed time to think.

"I agreed, and honestly, after five years of waiting... If it doesn't happen, at least I know that we'll still be friends, which I guess I'm lucky to have that, at least."

"Spike!" Luna interjected, "That is drivel and you know it. Anypony would be lucky to have such a devoted and loyal gentledrake like yourself as a friend. Not the otherway around."

"Yeah, what she said!" Diamond added with a huff, "I can't think of a single pony who'd go through half the trouble you've gone through for me! And you only just met me, me of all ponies." Diamond Tiara added with a huff.

"Thanks, but that's only one reason why I'm here. The other one was an eye opener. Twilight and I went to Town Hall to officially adopt me. I'm telling you, there was no greater feeling than Twilight actually thinking of me as a son after all these years, and wanting it to be official. It'd be like having two moms," Spike sighed wistfully.

"Two?" Luna and Diamond Tiara asked simultaneously.

"Yeah, Twilight hatched me, and her and Celestia raised me since I was a hatchling," Spike replied.

Luna blushed at that, "Have you ever told Tia?"

"Not really. I mean, I wanted to, but after they laughed at the Mother's Day cards I gave them, I really didn't have the heart to try it again. But stuff happens."

"Well, we'll talk to her about her misunderstanding. If you want my opinion, you'd make an adorable nephew."

Spike's blush was bright enough that he looked like an overgrown chili pepper, "It's not that simple. When we went to the Town Hall, we were told that you can't adopt pets. They had a very detailed reason why dragons aren't civilized enough to be considered one of the races that can be adopted. And if she wanted to adopt a pet, she'd have to go to one of the bigger cities."

Seeing Luna and his new friend speechless, he added, "They're right, you know. It opened my eyes to how many ponies see me. Heck, I have a wall full of diplomas that outright say I'm not equal to ponies."

"And how is that?" Luna inquired with a stormy undercurrent in her voice.

"Two words. Honorary Diploma."

"Honorary Diploma?"

"Yes. I went through the same classes, took the same courses, put in the same hours as anypony else would for a diploma. But I got an honorary one instead. I didn't really think anything of it until today. But you know what an 'honorary diploma' means?"

"I don't," Diamond replied.

"It means that you are considered good in a field, or even contributed to that field, but haven't done the work to have an official diploma in it. It’s basically saying that all that I did makes me good, but not worthy of being a 'professional', or an 'official member' of all the things I got diplomas for."

"Wait, how old are you?" Diamond Tiara asked.

"About as old as you and the Crusaders."

"And how many diplomas do you have?"

"Fifteen. Eight of them were necessary for me to help Twilight in her studies. But seven of them were just for fun."

"For fun? Are you, like, a genius or something?"

"Well, dragons do develop faster mentally than the other races. And technically I've been an adult twice... For a few minutes each time... Dragon aging is weird."

Luna came out of her stupor and commented in a few decibels beneath Royal Canterlot Voice, "We shall help thee, young gentledrake, to correct those grievous wrongs, as well as ask our dear sister why a bunch of plotheads are in charge of her schools."

"I was actually planning on doing that tomorrow. But without damaging anypony's eardrums. Although I need her help with some stuff I'm going through."

"But what’s the fun in that? And what stuff?" Luna blinked in confusion.

"Well, not as fun, but I can't really pull off that, as for the other stuff I really don't want to burden you with it," Spike admitted.

"Well, your aunt,"Luna said regally, before squeaking adorably, "I'm an aunt! And not to a baboon's rear end.

"Ahem! Anyways Spike, your aunt can pull it off quite admirably, and you aren't a burden. You can tell me anything."

"I always wanted an aunt! We can speak to Celestia tomorrow. But I guess I just needed to get away, kind of like Diamond Tiara. And I thought I could come here, and see if I really can find a place here among ponies. Ever since the Dragon Migration, I decided that in my heart, I'm a pony and belong with ponies.

"But how can I have a place with ponies if no matter what I do, I'm seen as a pet? And I guess I was hoping that some of my old friends who still live here in Canterlot could help me see if I really fit, or if it was just a pipe dream like the time I gave them Mother's Day cards." Spike finished dejectedly.

"Worry not, nephew," Luna squee’d, "We shall help you! Then we shall spoil you rotten... In a way that won't end like three birthdays ago... But spoiled you shall be! Now let's do something a bit less gloomy. We, Princess Luna! Doth challenge you two to a game of Obelisks and Ogres. But I shall be the Dungeon Master this time, Spike. Dost thou accept?"

"Verily," Spike replied, a small smile adorning his face at Luna's antics.

And so until Spike and Diamond drifted off to sleep. They played an epic game that ended several character levels in, and a discreet sleep spell cast by Luna. Tomorrow was going to be a very busy day.

Author's Note

Next chapter will have the start of momlestia forming, and Luna is the best Aunt.

Conversations 2

Celestia watched her sister walk off to speak to her nephew. He wasn't related by blood, but she had taken him under her wing and raised him for a good portion of his life. Celestia was happy her subjects didn’t look to far into the ‘fifty-two generations’ lie she usually gave, after all, Celestia and Luna’s parents had ascended to a higher plane of existence centuries before Equestria was even founded.

Yet she was sad that he took the route of a trollish buffoon, rather than other, less disruptive means to disarm and manipulate the aristocracy. Looking at the maze where she last saw Spike heading towards when Luna and her started their talk gave a sad, nostalgic sigh before she trotted over to maze where Spike was meandering. She knew that her oversight had robbed many potential years of familial happiness from the poor whelp, and the first part of making amends was to actually talk to him, rather than her habit of talking at him.

Celestia lit up her horn, and with the magical ties connecting them together, followed the route to him. To think, on any ordinary day, I’d say mornings like these make me glad that the sun in all of its glory is my special talent. Yet it’s marred, in no small thanks to me finally opening my eyes to many things.

Spike, seeing me as a mother along with Twilight, Spike’s treatment that I never paid a second thought towards, Twilight’s feelings for me...Although, if that showmare starts something with Twilight, I won't exactly have a chance. Nonetheless, I shall make things right… I hope.

Spike was lost in thought. As much as he loved the maze, what with all the fun games Twilight and him would play when he was a much younger dragon, he couldn’t even admire the artfully crafted shrubberies, as his mind flitted through all the things that brought him here. And just look where that got me. I got part of the castle destroyed, and buried a fraction of my hometown in snow.

If everypony didn’t see me as an uncivilized brute of a dragon before, they sure as heck will now. Maybe if…

His thoughts were interrupted by a golden horseshoe placed upon his shoulder. Looking back, he saw Celestia’s serene smile gazing down upon him.

“I’m sorry for burying Canterlot in snow,” Spike mumbled, “And destroying part of the castle.”

“Oh Spike. If I happen to remember correctly, and being as old as I am. That might be the case. I am the one who’s hoof caused all that damage. Am I not?”

“But if it wasn’t for -”

“That’s quite enough, Spike. Something was going to trigger a monumental facehoof someday. It’s why Canterlot is so heavily enchanted. Although I don’t know if it’ll survive a headdesk, as what really created the Ghastly Gorge. But at least it didn’t cause the land formation that made Rainbow Falls… Or the mountain-destroying face palm of 52 CE, both of which were learning experiences for making Canterlot as alicorn-proof as possible in case me or another alicorn did any number of things our enhanced strength can cause.

“You have nothing to blame yourself for. Now that all that bull hockey is done with, it’s about time we seriously talked to one another. But first, two questions for you. Did you tell Twilight you were leaving, and would you like to send letters to her to keep her in the loop as we speak?”

Spike still felt a bit guilty, but chuckled at the thought of an alicorn breaking down a mountain with a facehoof. Feeling a little lighter, he gave a small smile as he answered, “Yeah, I told Twilight that I needed to come here to clear my head. And to, well… Think things through. There’s too much in Ponyville right now and it kind of hurts to be there. As for the letters, sure. If I know anything about Twilight, it’s that keeping her in the loop will be a good idea.”

Celestia nodded, “You said that it was painful there, why? Did anypony physically assault you?” she asked, a dangerous tone in her voice.

“No, nothing like that. Well, emotionally, but no. It’s... Well … Thinking about it now, I feel pretty stupid, kind of like when I ran away because I thought Twilight was replacing me with Owlicious.”

“Spike, you’re anything but stupid. This talk of ours is long overdue. So tell me. I’m here and I’m listening.” With that, Celestia plopped down and lowered her head to Spike's eye level.

“Well it all started when ....”

“So that’s what led up to me getting here,” Spike wrapped up.

“Oh, poor Spike,” Celestia said as she wrapped him in a feathery hug, “But don’t you think everypony’s going to miss you suddenly leaving?”

“Don’t you want me?” Spike whimpered.

“Nononono, not at all,” Celestia assured him, “But why don’t we write to Twilight now? I can teleport her letters from here, and we can make sure everypony knows you got here alright.”

Spike leaned into Celestia’s side and nodded. Celestia’s face scrunched up adorably in concentration. “Now let’s see if I can still pull off that spell.”

Spike was going to ask what spell was, when a bright flash nearly blinded him. After the bright spots faded from his eyes, standing before them was Celestia’s writing desk. “Yes!” Celestia exclaimed with a small hop and fluttering of her wings, “I haven’t done that spell in a decade since the last major negotiation with the Gryphons to raid the Liquor Cellar.”

“The what?” Spike asked.

“Oh! Well… You see, when big ponies need to take the edge off, they sometimes enjoy some of nature’s most magical nectar,” Celestia hesitantly explained.

“Honey?”

“Ha! Not quite. Well, you know what alcohol is, right?”

“Oh, yes, I know what that is. So why do you have a cellar for it? Aren’t they kept in beakers called ‘Twilight’s Don’t Touch!’?”

“Oh, so that’s what she had in those... But yes, that was the last time I used the summoning spell. Now, let’s start to writing. Would you like me to write them out for you?”

“Nah! I’m used to writing stuff. Let’s see here… Hiya, Twilight! It’s me, Spike. Well, you just got this letter by dragonfire, so I guess that’s a given. I’m here with Celestia, if you noticed that massive avalanche that happened over here, nopony’s hurt. And it technically wasn’t my fault, just so you know.

“Wow… I’m bumbling like an idiot, aren’t I? Sorry for just up and leaving. I didn’t mean to hurt you or Rares. Scoots too, if my up and leaving hurt her. It was just too painful there, too many reminders of what happened, and I just needed to get over here. I think Celestia is going to be my mom, too. That’s what caused the avalanche. Oh! And Luna’s a pretty cool aunt. Love, Spike” Spike wrapped up his bumbling first letter and looked at Celestia, “Do you think that’s good?”

“It’s perfect. Now let’s send it on its way,” With that, Spike gave a puff of fire, sending the letter off to his other mother.

They sat there waiting for a reply for what felt like ages when a purple orb appeared before Celestia, bursting into a flash of glittery purple stars. Out of the smoke appeared a letter, floating in front of Celestia's muzzle.

“Hi, Spike, and Celestia if you’re there. I’m glad you sent this letter! You have no idea how worried we all were worried about you! I let Rarity know, and I’ll tell Scootaloo after she recovers from her little bout of Magic Exhaustion-

“What! How’d that happen?!” Celestia shouted, interrupting Spike’s reading.

“Oh, you see, Scootaloo had a severe magic blockage in her wings. When Twilight undid the blocks, her core released a blast of magical energy kinda like what Twilight did during her school exam. Discord helped turn me and Raindrops back to normal, and also helped Twilight with Scootaloo’s outbursts until she could stop it.

Afterwards, she passed out. Don’t worry, she’ll be alright.” Spike explained.

“But… But… But that’s impossible! Pegasus spellcasters are just legends! Myths!” Celestia stated incredulously.

“Well, apparently not. Scoots is one,” Spike said, with a hint of pride for his new friend.

“This! Is! The! Best! Possible! Thing!” Celestia exclaimed in a burst of glee that would put Rarity to shame, “If we can-”

“Woah! Woah! Woah! Celestia, she just got awakened to magic, and trust me, being a non-unicorn in your school wouldn’t be the best thing for her.”

“But why not? CSFGU has the greatest teachers, facilities, and the greatest education anypony can ask for!” Celestia beamed at pride at her namesake school.

“True, but the U is for Unicorn. As a dragon who went there, trust me, if you’re not their race, things don’t go exactly well,” Spike reminded her.

“That’s true, but we can work on fixing that. But I guess it’s something Luna, Twilight, and I will have to speak to Scootaloo about. Still, a pegasus mage, I’m shocked. But sorry for interrupting, please continue.”

“Alright, from where we left off, “and if Celestia interrupts tell her that we’ll talk about it later. So, I’ll admit that I freaked out when I saw you left, but I’m so happy to hear that you’re alright. Also, if you happened to see Diamond Tiara, I’d like to know. Filthy Rich was looking for her.””

“We should let her know that Diamond Tiara is here, and Luna is looking after her while she’s working here.”

“Alright,” Spike replied. Picking up his quill, he started writing a response, making sure to let her know about Diamond Tiara and her new job as Luna's daytime assistant. With a burst of fire, he sent the letter on its way.

“So, Spike, after this, what would you like to do? I’ll admit, I haven’t been a real mother in quite a few centuries, and feel quite out of place.”

“It doesn’t matter that it took you this long to see it. All that matters is the time we spend together now. We can go to Doughnut Joe’s, and after that, we can just see what happens, if you’re not too busy. If you are, we can do something this Sunday and.”

“Of course I’m not too busy, I can always make time for family. It’s one of the perks of having a competent sister as a co-ruler, and a third princess up-and-ready if we need her to step into our horseshoes should we need a break.”

“Twilight would like that. She’s been feeling kind of down, like she isn’t really important, despite her title.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. But with her friends, we’ve been able help get her out of her funk until she finds her place as a princess. I keep telling her that you’re letting her acclimate to being a princess, but she’s still ill at ease.”

“I’ll talk to her after we get the next letter.”

“You know, it’d be awesome if we had some way to talk at a long distance without waiting for letters. It’d be so much easier than waiting it out.”

“I think there was something in the works, but with how big the parchment industry is, it was worried that it could put them out of business,” Celestia said, as Twilight’s magic sparkled in front of Celestia. This time, not only did a letter appear, but a tiny box landed beside it.

“Spike, the box is from Rarity,” the letter started, “She said it was a ‘friend doll’. Apparently it’s an old earth pony tradition, if a friend, family, or special somepony is going away or moving out for a time, the doll is made to remind that pony that they’re on that friend’s mind, and to keep them close to their heart. She’ll be collecting ones from your other friends, but this is to start your collection.

“Now, about Diamond. I think Filthy Rich would be happy to hear about her new job. After all, she's old enough to move out and live on her own. Not that I agree with it, but tradition is tradition. Of course, it's a tradition that let most of my friends find their cutie marks.

“Well, Spike, just know that no matter where you are, whatever you do, or wherever you go, I’ll be right there the second you need me. All of your friends here are waiting for you, so, well… Find yourself. Be safe, and make sure to write me… Or us, and keep us in the loop. Love you with all my heart, Twilight.”

Author's Note

For those of you who didn't know this came out This fic shows the conversation Luna is going to in this chapter.

I recently got Stencyl. A 2-D free game maker, and I'm making a short RPG based off of Ogres and Obelisks. With 8 Playable Races [Gryphon, Minotaur, Earth Pony, Pegasus, Unicorn, Zebra, Eld'Mare [based off of Eld'Mar [Light Elf on Elder Scrolls]], and Dun'Mare [Dun'Mar [TES inspired]].] An Additional 3 if I can figure out how to use button combos to activate a cheat code for 4 additional ones [Demony [Demon Pony], Dragon, and Ogre [I'm thinking either a War Ogre [Wogre], or a Troll-Ogre [Trogre]].

It's looking like it won't be Turn Based Battles like I was hoping, but I'll still make do. Either that or I'll Black Belt the programming engine.

But I will still be working on this and The Golden Crusade. Chapter 2 is in the middle of editing, and Chapter 3 is mostly written.

Time With MommaTia I

Spike sat across from Celestia at Doughnut Joe’s, holding back a chuckle at the scandalous looks the Canterlot natives were tossing their way as Celestia obliviously wolfed down her metaphorical mountain of doughnuts ranging from jelly filled, to glazed, even a few strawberry shortcake eclairs tossed in. On her left was a princess-sized mug of hot cocoa full of floating marshmallows.

Celestia looked up from her gluttonous attack on the poor confectionary treats and asked, “So Spike, it’s been ages since I’ve been out and about amongst my little ponies. What do ponies do for fun nowadays?”

Looking at the splatterings of frosting and filling that were splattered across her muzzle, Spike let loose the roaring laugh he was holding in. “Oh Celestia! You should see your muzzle right now!”

Celestia looked at her reflection at the window beside the booth they were sitting in, only to get blinded as a photographer took a picture of her. When the white spots faded, she saw the state of her porcelain fur. The tabloids are going to have a field day with this. But I got Spike to laugh, so it was worth it.

“Sorry, it was just too funny. Anyways… I don’t really know. I’m usually too busy to really do anything. But there are a few good comic stores around here. Maybe we could check one of those out?”

“Alright, but first I need to slay these doughnuts. Are you sure you wouldn’t like some more? You are a growing dragon, after all,” Celestia replied, before diving back into her snacks with a vengeance.

“Nah, I’m good. If I need more I can just filch from your mountain,” Spike replied teasingly.

“Nooo, not my mountain! I need them to fuel my magic for raising the sun!” Celestia moaned jokingly.

With that comment, an excited murmur sprung within Joe’s bakery. Followed ponies dropping tributes of doughnuts on their table before running out, Oh my! I think might have made things worse. Now the press really is going to have a field day.

An hour later, a severely bloated Celestia waddled out of the bakery. Somehow word had gotten out and spread like wildfire, causing ponies from all over to come and fill their princess up with sweets. Of course, being a polite ruler meant that she had to accept tribute. That was, until Spike came to her rescue and told them that she needed to have some time to digest before her amazing sun powers could fully recharge.

Spike gave Celestia a prodding poke watching her stomach make little fleshy waves as it jiggled, “So I was always wondering, with how much you eat, where does it all go?”

Leaning in, she whispered, "It's a secret," she whispered, "Although I don’t think even my metabolism is going to burn through all this food.”

“What about- Um, nevermind,” Spike mumbled.

“What?”

“It’s just that… Well... Your flank has been getting rounder lately,” Spike said, “Not that you’re fat. You’re still pretty. It’s just that… Maybe you need to use that secret thing a little more?”

Celestia’s rump fell onto the ground with an earth-shaking thump. “Spike thinks I’m faaaat!” She wailed.

“You’re not fat, just getting a bit rounder… Like Pinkie Pie!” Spike offered helpfully. After all Pinky was pleasantly plump in the middle, and jiggly, but was nowhere near fat.

“So I’m pudgy?” Celestia moaned, sniffing.

“More like… Comfortably squishy! Like a really comfy pillow!” Spike offered.

“Hmph. At least I’m not fat. I don’t like diets, they never let you have any fun foods, and make you exercise.”

“But isn’t exercise good for you?”

“Only for other ponies. I haven’t exercised since… Well… A few centuries ago.”

“What happened?”

“Oh, that’s a story for another time,” Celestia blushed, remembering having to be carted around in a wheelbarrow after discovering the magical goodness of chocolate as a sweet, rather than a spice.

"I can't wait to hear it," Spike said, following as they set off again. With a mighty crack, Celestia's hoof slammed down on the street, causing cracks to spiderweb out across the cobblestone. Shooting Spike a dirty look at he snickered, she did her best to ignore how easy it was becoming to crack the streets, almost like the castle floor before she had it renovated to withstand an alicorn's mighty strides.

Celestia decided their first stop should be a local comic store, mostly since, with how out of touch with Spike she was, she knew at least that much of his hobbies. Mostly since it was herself who introduced them to him. It was more of an impulse buy than anything, but she had decided that as a graduation gift for finishing his studies she’d buy him something nice, and after an offhoof comment of her aide, she got him a Power Pony comic #1 from a collector.

But other than that and gems, her knowledge of her son was rather limited. I’ve always wanted to be a mother, but knowing that I had a dragon who saw me as such and have neglected him as much as I have… I need to make it up to the young drake.

“So, Spike, we never really talked that much before about yourself. What do you like to do?” Celestia asked.

Spike had finished snickering at the explosions of rubble caused by Celestia as she walked, but still had a grin that Tia had seen on too many colts in her school to see it as anything other than devious. Spike looked at her and shrugged, “I don’t know. Mostly I just help Twilight with her studies and research. I don’t really have that much free time. I read comics, and sometimes I help Rarity, but I don’t really have time for much else.”

“So all you do is work?”

“Pretty much. It’s not that bad though. Twilight would’ve probably starved herself to death if it wasn’t for me reminding her to eat, back before she started making friends. Well, started making friends that she actually interacts with,” Spike replied.

“What do you mean?”

“She had some ponies who considered her a friend, and most of them were mine as well. But Twilight was too busy to give them more than the time of day. Heck, when she moved to Ponyville, she passed up on Moondancer’s first party, and I haven’t had time to really get in touch with any of them since we moved. I should probably check up on them, or at least apologize for being absent from their lives for so long.”

“Well, maybe after we go to the comic book store we can meet up with them if they’re still here. Do you remember their names?”

“Yeah. Lyra Heartstrings is dating a pony in Ponyville named Bon Bon. Minuette, I see sometimes in Ponyville. Then there’s Twinkleshine and Moondancer. I don’t know what happened with those two. I remember seeing all of them but Moondancer at Cadence’s wedding, then Chrysalis brainwashed them.”

Celestia nodded to herself, before Spike's words sunk in. "Wait, did you say..?”

“She was planning on bailing anyways, what with the prophesy of Nightmare Moon’s return and all. She was all, ‘Spike! If Celesta doesn’t stop this then there won’t be a party at all!’ So we missed out on it. I think Moondancer’s present is still in Twilight’s old room.”

“Hmm… We should talk to her about that later. But for now, we shop!” And take my mind off of just how much I messed things up for those I care about. Just like with Luna… I really haven’t changed at all have I? Celestia shook her head, No! I will do better.

*An hour later*

Celestia should have known something terrible was about to happen when Spike headed to the “Collector’s Adventure” section of the store. She should have been doubly worried when she saw the sign warning that the comics were enchanted to give a more immersive reading experience, commissioned by the publishing company themselves. The last flag should have been raised when she went the sales clerk to see the public enchantment permits, which were signed in triplicate, but had no stated enchantment other than the patent number.

Yet here she was, looking at Spike wearing a tacky purple suit and red mask, while she was decked out in what she could only think of as fetish gear. She was strapped into an uncomfortably tight black bodysuit, with a studded collar and knee-high boots covered in spikes big enough to take out a pony's eye. The two of them were hiding behind low lying being wall, breathing heavily as the rested from their pursuers in the form of an insane wolf-pony, an undead lich-king, and what Celestia could only describe as a mismatched tentacle monster attached to a brain in a jar. And if what she saw from Twilight’s hidden stash of Neighponese comics was anything to go by, anything with that many tentacles could only spell danger.

“So Spike, one last time, what are we, and who are they?” Celestia asked.

“Oh, I’m Humdrum, the useless sidekick, He said, ducking a blast from the lich's horn, "And you’re supposed to be Princess Badass, the leader of the League of Heroes. As for them, the wolf-pony is Wild Fang, the zombie dude is King Lichenstein, and the octopus-brain thing is Professor Tentaclese. They’re the heads of the LOSER, the most evil super villain team ever!”

“Alright, so all we need to do is thwart them, right?”

“Well, you do. I just bumble about and cause problems,” Spike sighed.

What happened to those schoolfillies in Twilight's visual novels is not going to happen to me! Also, all this pleather is really weird feeling on my coat. “Spike, you have two things that Humdrum doesn’t have.”

“What’s that?”

“One, you’re a dragon, and two, dragons breath fire!” Celestia replied, grabbing him roughly in her magic.

Aiming his face toward the oncoming villains, she gave his tail a short tug, causing him to belch out a blast of fire. His dragon breath scorched the werepony, causing him to tumble, screaming, into the Lich-King, whose dessicated body then lit up like a Hearth's Warming tree, “See Spike, you’re anything but useless! Now let’s run to higher ground!”

Celestia ran through the deserted streets of Maretropolis, narrowly dodging necromantic spell bolts and laser beams that flew around her as she zig-zagged out of danger. The cackling laughter of the ne'er-do-wells seemed to come from every direction of the urban landscape, echoing eerily around her.

Celestia’s wings ached as she used them to propel her down the streets, with her earth pony strength providing extra bursts of speed. All the while, Spike was shaken to and fro in her levitation field as she tried to keep him from getting hit or slowing her down due to his tiny little whelpling legs, something that Spike didn’t appreciate.

“Um, Celestia? Can you let me down?” Spike protested, wiggling around in her magical aura.

“They’ll catch us if slow down!” Celestia responded, flapping her wings and leaping to the nearest rooftop, narrowly dodging a death beam on the way.

“But you have superpowers now!” Spike shouted

“Oh… Right… Superhero..." Celestia gasped, completely out of breath, "So what is it that I can do?”

“Well, Princess Badass… I don’t know. They never really showed her powers in the series, although when she was first introduced, they mentioned that her glower can turn a pony into ash, and that she can be a real hardflank. But she’s pretty cool… Even though no one’s seen her disintegrate anypony yet.”

Great, I have a superpower that’s ‘mysterious’. I guess I’ll have to think of something. Aha!

"Spike, what was the ending of this this comic?"

"You mean graphic novel? Well, the League of Heroes shows up just as Princess Badass is about to use her superpowers and rescues them,” Spike replied, “It was kind of a let down, to be honest.”

“Ah! Then let’s show them what a real princess can do! Get your fire ready!” Celestia said as she caught site of the villains coming around the corner. Dr. Tentaclese used some weird scanner to follow Celestia’s previous movements, and was quickly catching up. Come on, that’s cheating! As Pinkmena would say they’re being ‘cheater, cheater, pumpkin eaters’!

As Spike let loose his flames, Celestia did the first thing that came to her mind, and dragon mailed them away from themselves.

Spike looked at her in awe. “That was awesome… Where did they go?”

Celestia looked at him blankly.

The look on her face made Spike’s stomach sink. “You do know where you sent them right?”

She gulped.

“Well?”

“I sent them to Twilight.”

“Oh… You-” Spike started, when suddenly, a glowing portal tore through reality, sucking them up sending them back to the physical world before he could properly freak out.

*Meanwhile, at Twilight’s Castle of Friendship*

“What do I make!? This is Discord we’re talking about! What if what I bring bores him and he ends up… Oh great! Now Celestia knows I’m about doom all reality..!” Twilight shouted as she thought of what to prepare for the picnic. Suddenly, in a burst of green dragonfire, three monsters appeared before her. With a mighty blast of magic, she sent them flying through five diamond-strong walls before landing in a broken heap before Trixie, who was busy sweeping up her guest room.

“Perverts!” Trixie screamed, closing her eyes and wildly thrashing the uninvited guests with her broom, with no thought of stopping until they learned their lesson of crashing into Trixie’s room while she was in the nude.

*Back at the comic store*

“Quick, Spike! We must save Twilight from those fiends!” Celestia yelled, ignoring the startled look of the store patrons.

It was a short teleport to their destination, where they followed the trail of broken crystal to a still-shrieking Trixie, bashing a pile of whimpering villains.

After picking her jaw off the floor, Celestia grabbed Trixie’s broom. “It’s alright, subject. I think you’ve got them.”

Trixie cracked open an eye and immediately dropped into a bow. “Princess, I didn’t know you were stopping by! As you can see, the Great and Powerful Trixie was teaching a lesson to these brutes that blasted into my room,” Taking a look at the tunnel their bodies created leading from the kitchen to her room, “Apparently after deciding that destroying Twilight’s walls wasn’t good enough for them.”

King Lichenstien looked at her in terror, with massive, apple-sized welts across his head, “Princess Badass, please take us away from these crazy ponies! One blasted us through five walls, only for her sidekick to ravish us with her weapons! Save us!” He pleaded.

“Yes,” Professor Tentaclese added, “This place you sent us to is far worse than any of the traps we’ve laid for your superheroes! You truly are an evil mastermind, as is Humdrum… To think we overlooked his ability to shoot fireballs.”

Wild Fang just whimpered pathetically from the wounds inflicted by the two young mares.

“Very well, only if you state that Humdrum is best Power Pony,” Celestia smirked looking at Spike.

“Yes! He’s the best!” The two villains capable of speech yelled, Wild Fang howling in agreement, “He’s the greatest Power Pony that ever lived!”

“Very well, and don’t forget it, or we’ll have to send you back here for your punishment. Sp- Uh, Humdrum, if you will, release your mighty dragon flames!”

And a burst of green fire, they were sent back to the comic shop where they safely retreated back into the comic book from whence they came. “See, Spike? You aren’t useless. And Trixie, I apologize for their rude arrival.”

Trixie scuffed the ground with a forehoof. “No problem… So what was that all about?”

Celestia blushed, “There was a magical mishap in a comic store. It seems that between you and Twilight, you were able to thrash the living daylights out of three actual supervillains.”

“Well that’s good… Although nopony would believe that tale if Trixie told it. It’s sad, too, since I could definitely use that in my next performance,” Trixie mused sadly.

“So where’s Twilight?” Spike asked with his back turned on her. Having learned how funny she was when others saw her without her hat and cape.

“She’s freaking out about a picnic with Discord and Fluttershy. I keep telling her that she won’t destroy the world with one bad lunch. But she’s dead set on worrying, once she comes back and the world’s in once piece I’ll tell her ‘I told you so’, and maybe she’ll listen next time,” Trixie replied giving a flick of her mane before striking up a pose.

It took longer than Celestia would’ve liked, but she had finally managed to calm the store patrons down. She made a mental note to look at their spell patent in detail, if only to ensure that problems like the one Spike and herself faced didn’t pop up again, although in the back of her mind she hoped that her completely altering the story’s plotline didn’t have any far-reaching negative effects.

Spike, on the other hoof, looked like he was on cloud nine, which in the end almost made it worth it. Note to self, never read an enchanted book without Spike or possibly Luna near me. She seems to enjoy those types of stories, and I bet she wouldn’t have made the mistake of sending such things into the physical world… No, she would have challenged them to a duel, then beat them up and down the entire town while singing about glorious combat.

After narrowly dodging a lifetime ban from the store, the two found themselves at a gem shop several blocks down the road. For Celestia, it was as nice place as any to catch her breath. As for Spike, it was like being a colt in a candy store, filled with delicious gems as far as his eyes could see.

“Well Spike, I’ll let you choose what you’d like, although I’ll have to limit you to ten gems,” Celestia chuckled as she watched Spike salivate. After this, I’ll let him and Luna spend some time together, while I have a very serious talk with the education department. I still can’t believe after all these centuries, I’m still completely blind to those closest to me.

Author's Note

LOSER: Legion of Overlords and Super Evil Reprobates
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Yes, not all of Twilight's reading is serious, or filled with jargon. Sometimes she likes to cuddle up with a nice manga ... as well as a few visual novel she doesn't think Celestia would approve of.
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Spell Patents: Spells used for entertainment, public, or magi-tech use. That the maker wants to make a profit on, or would be used for things that others could make a profit on submit it to the Patent Office [Magic Division] to ensure their intellectual property is protected and that they can get royalties off of it's use.
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And yes this did have a Power Pony shout out. I know I was wondering how a comic shop could sell enchanted works without legal repercussions. I just decided that it'd have a sign up stating that an enchantment was on it with the bare minimum needed to avoid legal fall out.

As well as it'd be fun. Give Celestia some Spike time, and both play with the Power Ponies concept while doing something unique. As for Princess Badass I see her as one of those characters that are kept in the dark so writers can McGuffin the heck out of it. Like a living Phlebotinum.
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So I promised that I'd be giving bigger chapters. Hopefully allow them to make the pacing slow down a bit over the next few ones. Both in this, and in The Golden Crusade.

Interlude 1: An Angry Sun, and Moon Touched Diamonds

“Spike, I have some things that I need to take care of. Will you be alright on your own for a while?” Celestia asked Spike, letting the door of the gem store swing shut behind them.

“Sure, I have things that I can do to keep busy. I guess I’ll be seeing you later?” Spike responded, giving Celestia a questioning look.

“I’ll see you around dinner time.”

With that, Celestia spread her wings and awkwardly fluttered towards the main campus of her school, with some choice words in mind for the dean. At least that’s what she planned, but as she got sight of her school, she started feeling out of breath. This is what I get for not exercising in the last three hundred years, and not needing to fly for the last two hundred and fifty… But I’m not fat. My personal nutritionist says that I’m possibly in the healthy rate range for a pony of my height. And the Royal Wheelbarrow hasn’t been used in centuries! Not since I accidentally caused the Great Cake Famine of 285 C.E..

Needless to say, Celestia was winded by the time she reached the outside of the school grounds, and landed with such force that a slight tremor could be felt throughout Canterlot, sending her beloved ponies running in hysterics thinking another snowslide was going to cover their town again. Celestia cringed at the thought, but decided that it would make good cover while cantering into the dean’s office.

Celestia gave a dainty cough to grab the attention of the secretary, a neon pink unicorn mare with a dayglow mane so bright that it almost hurt Celestia’s eyes. And this was an alicorn who looked at the sun on a daily basis! The mare stopped trying to hide herself behind the fern behind the desk to see one of her two sovereign rulers looking at her with barely contained mirth and blushed mightily. A mare that pink shouldn’t show a blush that profusely. Although it would be funny if I didn’t have a reason for being here.

“Please don’t bring the end times to Equestria your Godessesship,” the mare whimpered.

Don’t facepalm Celestia, the Royal Treasury can’t afford it on top of the one this morning. “It’s quite alright …”

“Bright ‘n Early.” Bright offered.

“Miz Bright, I am not about to bring the endtimes anytime this eon,” Celestia chuckled, hoping to diffuse the tension in the room, “What we’re experiencing is a simple force of nature, nothing more. Now, I really need to see the dean about an important matter.” Thank Faust I’m not the Element of Honesty, although technically an alicorn is a force of nature.

“A-alight, let me get a hold of him,” Bright ‘n Early pressed a green button on the side of her desk, activating a remote communication spell, “Sir, the Princess is here to see you.”

“Is she full of fire and brimstone?” Cracked the voice on the other end..

“No sir… Although she does have a twitchy eye.”

“Oh… Let her in then. I’m almost ready to see her.”

Celestia gave a nod, and once it was pointed out felt her eye twitch harder. Taking a deep breath, she steeled her features and walked into the Dean’s Office.

I’m going to need a five-tier triple-chocolate cake with fudge filling and a quarter tonne of sprinkles after this. Maybe a side of jelly doughnuts… And a 40 oz jug of hot cocoa with marshmallows. When this is all over. Celestia thought to herself when she walked in on the thirty fifth most strangest things she had ever walked in on.

The dean was wearing what could only be described as giant, clunky, metal armor that was several times to big to be practical, with numerous glowing leylines radiating from a magic crystal in his back. The lines stretched across the armor, mystic runes along the lines pulsing as magic ran past them.

“Dean… What in all that’s good and holy are you wearing?” Celestia asked.

“It’s something we borrowed from the Canterlot Institute of Technology. I think they called it power armor,” The dean replied, muffled by the bulky helmet on his head.

“Does this borrowing include not letting them know it was borrowed?” Celestia asked.

“Well, according to their charter, and various school rules, it is a legal acquisition between schools for emergency purposes.”

“I think I remember you asking to throw the School For the Arts’ dean in jail for the same legal acquisition for when their Experimental Food Department created a golem out of cream filled snacks, and needed to use disenchanter stones?”

“Yet you said it was perfectly legal,” the dean rules lawyered back.

That didn’t stop you from throwing a tantrum, now did it? Celestia grinned a wide predatory grin and replied, “Yes, I did. I’m glad to know that you’ll be allowing other schools to use your equipment in the future without complaint. It’s about time that all my schools started sharing with one another, rather than fighting over who owns what. And you will be returning that later today, correct?”

Celestia couldn’t see the dean’s face, but from the silence that followed, she knew that she turned his habit of rule lawyering against him.

“Of course, Princess. So… What brings you to this school?”

“Oh, a number of things. But first, I am curious, what does the Power Armor do?”

“I don’t know all that it can do. But I do know that, without the enhancements I placed on it, it was able to withstand several tonnes of force, and temperatures almost as hot as the sun.”

“Ah, and how did you find out about it?”

“Well, I like to keep an eye out for those schools that… Don’t have the history this school does.”

“Hmmm.” Celestia hummed, sighing inwardly. Maybe a seven tiered cake. I already burned off the calories from the doughnuts with Spike. What with all that running, the accidental releasing super villains into the world for a while, then the flying, I did enough exercise for the next week.

“Well, I came here for a reason, and there have been some things brought to my attention that I’d like to speak with you about.” Celestia finally said. She had arrived to give him a good speaking to, but seeing him in this ‘power armor’, as he called it, had thrown her original simmering anger through a loop. In the back of her mind she knew that she was going to have to talk to CIT about making military-grade weapons at their school. It was a safety hazard, and next thing she knew, they would probably be making artificial ponies.

“How can I help you, Princess?”

“It’s about Spike, and his schooling here.”

“What’s the matter? He did graduate, even if he isn’t a unicorn.”

“Yes, but what’s this about him only receiving honorary diplomas? Did he not go through the same courses as the unicorn students?”

“Well, yes , but he wasn’t able to complete all the courses that this school has as mandatory classes. Seeing as how, as you put it, he isn’t a unicorn.” The staticy voice replied from the speaker in the helmet's muzzle.

“Was he able to do classes outside of unicorn magic to make up for the lost credits?”

“He was, but that’s beside the point.”

Celestia felt her eye twitch, “And what, good sir, is the point?”

“The point is that he wasn't a unicorn, in a school for unicorns, as whatever pet project he was supposed to represent, and thus, while he did do courses for a field of expertise, he wasn’t the race our school accepts. As you put in our original charter eight hundred and sixty years ago.” He stated, letting out a harrumph.

Today seems to be the day my past comes back to bite me. “So you’re saying that he passed all the courses he was in, and did the work of any competent graduate, and he still isn’t given the full benefits of a unicorn graduate?”

“Yes.”

“Even though his schooling was paid for by the crown. Money that, may I remind you, your school gladly accepted?”

“But he did complete. And he was given the courses that he applied for, so the money did go into his schooling.” The dean replied.

“I see. You want to know something dean? A little secret of Alicorn physiology?” Celestia asked coyly. Seeing his head nod, she continued, “When alicorns sneeze, we can accidentally cast spells.”

“Reflexive casting?”

“Yes. It’s quite unfortunate.”

“What is?”

“That your room’s so dusty.” With that Celestia, gave as realistic a sneeze as possible, teleporting the dean to the top of Mt. White Warrior the largest mountain in Equestria, which thankfully was on the opposite side of the continent. So not only do I need to replace the dean, but I need to make a total overhaul of the school system if I’m to rectify Spike not getting the treatment he earned here. And I’m going to have to look into other ponies to see whatever damage I might have caused in the past.

… Just like I would have done to Scootaloo, now that I think about it. I was fully prepared to look past Scootaloo as a potential student because she wasn’t a unicorn … What kind of pony does that make me? Celestia somberly shook her head, quite the day for introspection indeed.

After the tumultuous day Diamond Tiara had yesterday, she slept more soundly than she had all week. So soundly, in fact, that she slept through the earthquake and avalanche created by Celestia’s facehoof. But when Celestia landed with the force of a herd of falling elephants near the school, the tremor woke her up from a rather weird dream in a screaming fit.

The dream itself was already unusual. She was dreaming that Pinkie Pie and her were leading an army of graham cracker bears against the evil Dentist and his toothbrush army, when Luna appeared and told Pinkie that invading other’s dreams wasn’t a good thing. Pinkie just laughed, replying that she did it all the time with her friends in their dreams. Luna was about to reply, when the whole world started shaking, and Diamond Tiara fell into a chasm of darkness.

Only to feel that the quaking was very much real. Take into account that she was in a rather strange room made of onyx and dark granite. Illuminated by blue glowing crystals she was rightfully freaked out. Looking around she saw a sighing Luna perched over a mountain of paperwork, and bolted for her.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Luna commented.

“Wh-where am I?" Diamond Tiara asked, "Why’s the earth shaking? Wh-what’s going on?”

“No need to fret, my little pony. You’re in my quarters. I brought you here after you passed out last night, since we haven’t shown you the Servant’s Quarters. As for the shaking, I believe my sister is being foolish again. Hopefully she’s managed to squash a noble or two,” Luna commented wryly.

“I’m not fretting. I’m a brave p-pony,” Diamond Tiara said, quaking from her safe position under Luna’s barrel.

“Of course you’re brave, I don’t know how I could have missed it,” Luna quipped, her smile turning more humorous as she looked at the filly.

Diamond Tiara pouted, crossing her forelegs as Luna continued, “I’ve told her that it’d do the nobles some good if she were to squash a few, let them know who’s boss, but she’s never been keen on taking me up on that.”

“Why do you want to squash nobles?”

“Well… They are like a bunch of little foals, each wanting what the other has, but unlike a foal, they have a lot of wealth and power to take what they want, or complain for all to hear when things don’t go their way. Quite different from before.”

“How so?”

“Back in the day, they actually had some respect for us princesses, and spent at least some of their time and wealth helping those under them. Today’s version of noblesse oblige is as much a shell of what it was as are the nobles who use it… Not to say that all nobles are bad,” Luna lectured. Diamond Tiara raised her hoof, as if in a classroom. Luna almost chuckled, “Yes, Diamond Tiara?”

“Ms. Princess Luna… What’s noblesse oblige?”

“You’ve never heard of that before?”

“No…”

“Have you ever heard that those of privileged birth have a duty to act nobly, as an example to those of lesser privilege? Or about the responsibilities of the powerful and wealthy?”

“Oh, I heard my mom say that it was our duty to take from those of lesser birth, and that those beneath us were born to serve their betters,” Diamond Tiara said.

“That sounds as if you’re quoting her… Do you agree with her thoughts on the matter?” Luna asked, her left eyebrow raising imperiously.

“Well… I used to. But there’s a lot of things she taught me before she left me and dad that I don’t agree with… So I don’t know,” Diamond looked at the floor and scuffed her forehoof at the ground, her mind going back to all the foalhood lessons that had recently turned her life upside down.

She lifted her head when she felt a large, comfy, wing wrap around her in a gentle hug, “I take it that she taught you many things, and some of those things are what brought you here in the first place?”

Diamond nodded, sniffling.

“Well… I guess on top of being my junior-assistant in training, and my ‘go for’, I’ll be helping you learn about true nobility.”

“True nobility?”

“Of course. You’ve met our youngest princess while she was still a unicorn, correct?”

“I have.”

“And did she seem anything like how most nobles present themselves?”

“Not really. But I haven’t really talked to her… Like, ever.”

“Truly? But from what I’ve gathered, your family is quite influential.”

“Yes… But what does that have to do with Twilight?”

“She was a minor noble, before she became a princess from her brother marrying Princess Cadance. Now she’s a princesses in body as well as name.”

“Oh, those things. I don’t know, my father just never dealt much with her outside of her shopping at our store for Hearth’s Warming gifts.”

“The point I’m making is that Twilight is a noble, and her actions reflect what it means to be truly noble, rather than being born into privilege and thinking that is a justification for acting however one wishes due to an accident of birth.”

“Okay… I’m still going to have schooling?” Diamond asked asked, nestling closer to Luna.

“One never stops learning, my little filly. Even ponies as old as me. So yes, schooling, in a sense of the word.”

Luna with Diamond tucked under her wing, glancing at her lighting crystals, and sighed. Spoiled Rich, if you were here, I would throttle thee for corrupting such a filly with thy filth. I see much good in you, Diamond. Hopefully it’s early enough that I can help it shine..

Author's Note

Sorry for the wait y'all. My editors IRL and my own have been insanely busy as of late. Thank all of you for your patience ^_^.

As for the story itself. Even Alicorns Roll Ones, isn't going to be canon canon for this series. But I'm definitely going to play around the schools, and I'm most definitely going to have Professor Pie in this fic.

And I think that Luna's going to be just what Diamond needs. The next fic will shift gears from Spike's PoV to the Princesses and Diamond. Before switching back to Spike. I'm personally thinking of doing a Green type set up. Since this fic does touch a lot of ponies, following them for a bit. Then use an interlude to switch it up.

At least that's the plan as of now ^_^.

Ponies Are Crazy!

I seriously want to buck in the face whoever invented gravity Celestia thought to herself as she wavered in the air, the exercise of flying for longer than a few seconds winding her as she made her way to the Canterlot Institute of Technology.

While at the same time working through a list of candidates to replace the current Dean. Or at the very least work to fix whatever tribalism existed in her school. Sure it was for the longest time called her school for ‘Gifted Unicorns’. And them turning away ponies of the other tribes was a thing built upon since it’s inception.

But that was mostly built around ignorance and the thoughts of the times being that only unicorns could do magic. With those thoughts having been disproven several centuries prior, it seemed that the rules to spread their horizons never became a thing.

Sure if it wasn’t for Spike, I would’ve ignored it since it wouldn’t have made sense to change things when only .01 percent of the non-unicorn populace can do any type of magic past their racial abilities. And of that small percentage, only a few hoofful a generation try applying. Still for someone to make it in there, do the work, only for them to be insulted for not being a unicorn is beyond stupid.

With the Institute in sight Celestia let herself land and panting from the exertion trotted building. Well at least my Sister is going to have an easier time of things.

After seeing to it that Diamond Tiara was properly attired for her new position as Junior Assistant-In-Training, Luna went to work at overseeing Day Court while her sister worked on the whole Spike issue.

With the chaos from the earlier incident at breakfast and the few rumors she heard of her sister's antics ensured that this was going to be a rather hectic and interesting day at court. Looking at Diamond Tiara as she trotted beside her she gave her a heads up, “Now Diamond Tiara, this is going to be one Tartarus of a day. I just thought that you should know that this is isn’t by any stretch going to be a normal day.”

“Is it going to be better or worse?” Diamond Tiara asked.

“Well … possibly a hundred times more stupider,” Luna sighed, “it’s a sad fact that ponies can be stupid, and when scared, are more stupid than usual.”

“Oh … well alright,” Diamond replied unsurely.

“Sorry if that sounds not really princess-y, but as the once Bearer of Honesty. I think it’s better that you know the truth of things, rather than get your hopes up. Sure the court has seen some interesting things, and at rare times has seen the betterment of society. But mostly it’s filled with petty arguments that could be settled by lower courts, or self entitled ponies trying to drag others down to lift themselves up.

“But on the rare occasions you do see something that rekindle your faith in ponies. Or get somepony who goes to court just to say they met a princess. But with what happened today .... let’s just say it’s better to be on guard for the worst.”

Luna wondered what was going behind Diamond Tiara’s mind as they walked through the halls that grew progressively more chaotic as they neared the court. Her curiosity which was instantly killed when the first pony bothered to talk to them.

It was a rather disheveled looking Earth Pony, whose bright, neon pink mane was as fritzed looking as Twilight during one of her existential crisis moments, “PRINCESS! Oh my Celestia you’re here!”

“Um … yes?” Luna asked, already feeling her left eye start to twitch.

“Is that child going to be your sacrifice to keep you from bringing about the end times?”

“WHAT!?” Luna and Diamond Tiara shouted simultaneously.

“Your sacrifice. You know to keep you and your sister from destroying the world for your own personal pleasure?” The mare responded with utmost sincerity.

“Too … for … I can’t begin to process that comment,” Luna replied.

“Oh Noooz! I’m sorry princess Luna. If my comment made you angrier at all life on the planet I’m more than willing to sacrifice my pets, my husband, and even my third born foal.” The male pegasus beside her nodded in agreement, “I agree. Although maybe not our third born, he’s a little to rambunctious. I think our first born would agree though.”

The foals around them looked at Princess Luna, before shoving the oldest at her, whom turned around and glared at her parents and siblings before huffing, “Fine! It’s not like I had anything better to do. As long as it saves the world, and if I’m going I might as well ask … princess if I trade my dolly collection can they take the place of your other sacrifice? There’s no need to have two foals is there?” She asked.

Diamond Tiara looked at the scene with a dropped jaw and glazed eyes as her brain shut down on what was happening before her. Whereas Luna facehooved with enough force to rattle the foundations of Canterlot and groaned. “Listen, nopony is being sacrificed. And while it is noble of you young one to offer to trade your collection for the life of another. It’d be better if you used your mind rather than jumping to conclusions.”

Taking a deep breath she let out the Royal Canterlot Voice to the rest of the ponies in line, while staring at the family before her, “To recap! There is no sacrificing of ponies, and there is no end times! If you have any further stupid questions relay them to Pony Resources.”

Now Canterlot is a sturdy city. Despite being built precariously on the side of a mountain. Nearly the height of Cloudsdale, during certain times of the year. Had survived Discord, a Changeling Invasion, and the various degrees of mischief, anarchy, and shenanigans a bunch of child age through adolescent mages could get into during their time at Celestia’s School For Gifted Unicorns, as well as the technological disaster area Canterlot Institute of Technology sometimes was labeled as.

But two Alicorn Leveled facehooves, on top of steady force of a city wide stampede of nervous ponies. As well as Celestia’s attempt at exercise for the first time in centuries. Added with the shout of frustration of an Alicorn was too much for it to handle. Which made Luna groan all the louder as the plateau Canterlot was built on top of broke and slid down the mountain to the avalanche covered grounds below.

“Celestia’s going to be so angry about this,” Luna replied when they finally landed.

“Princess Luna … is this an average day for you and princess Celestia?” Diamond Tiara asked as she clung tightly to Luna’s foreleg.

“In someways more than others,” Luna replied over the crowd as chaos started to reign.

“Wow … ponies are crazy!” Diamond Tiara moaned.

“You have no idea young one. You have no idea.”

Author's Note

Sorry that it took so long to come out with this.

It's currently un-edited (I promised by the end of the month I'd post something, and I didn't want y'all to wait.). But I'll post an edited version after the greatest editor ever (KingTiger666) has time to look it over.

While originally this was part of a sidequel for an AU of Season 4. It's going to start going into S4's storylines (well this and Golden Crusade) in two chapters. But start up in the next chapter for this, and the chapter after the next installment for Golden Crusade (right now it's being worked on here and there. But isn't near time for it to be anywhere near done.).

I hoped y'all liked this chapter, and I do apologize for IRL getting in the way of my writing. Which used to be much more productive than what it's been XD.

Celestia Facehooves, or How Land Formations Are Formed.

Spike woke up wrapped in a blanket cocoon, a stray beam of light from the balcony shining upon his face. With a grunt of annoyance, he extracted himself and looked around his surroundings, the night theme of the room complimenting the rising sun. He saw Diamond Tiara on Luna's bed, while Luna herself was in a trance on the floor pillow they were reclining in before sleep overcame him.

Luna's wings ruffled slightly as she rose from her trance. Spike giggled as as she worked her mouth in odd contortions and stretched various parts of her body. Looking at him with her serene teal eyes, Luna whispered, "What? One's mouth always feels funny after so many hours of dreamwalking, and I always start the day with a good, relaxing stretch."

"Sorry, it's just that your mouth looked funny doing that. Like you were kissing a giant fish or something," Spike whispered mirthfully.

"Better a fish than a frog," Luna replied with a smile.

"So should we wake her?" Spike asked, gesturing to the still sleeping Diamond.

"No, let her sleep for now. I'll have one of my day aides give her orientation when she wakes. I still find it strange my sister outsources her attendants and workers through companies rather than in-castle apprenticeships," Luna said with a shake of her head. She picked up a quill and paper, writing a note as she talked to Spike, "When was the last time we had a filly or colt under hoof instead?"

"No idea," Spike shrugged, "Twilight would probably know. She read The History of Canterlot front-to-back five times now. Says it's a good story to read before going to bed."

"Probably because it's so boring. I tried reading it a few times, but it makes a better table than it does reading material," Luna chuckled conspiratorily.

"I said the same thing, and Twilight banned me from my comic book collection for a week," Spike replied.

"Well, shall we go to our sister before her day truly begins? It would be nice for you to join us for breakfast," Luna said as they snuck out of a room. A note Luna had been writing with her magic as Spike and her were talking floated down near Diamond Tiara to read when she awoke.

The dining area that the two sisters ate in was one of Spike's favorite rooms. Not because the view was stunning, with wall sized windows overlooking the garden, nor for the fact that the entire room was made of beautiful mosaic marbles traced and embroidered with interconnected patterns of pure silver and gold, nor was it the fact that it served the best food from the best chefs in all of Equestria and beyond.

No, it was Spike's favorite because of the memories the room invoked. Before Twilight got so carried away in her studies that they barely came by here. Memories of epic food fights, of Celestia helping Twilight and Spike make miniature gingerbread cities, which were ravenously devoured soon after their creation. Even memories of all the times they just sat and talked without Celestia's work interrupting, being one of the rooms Celestia mandated as a sanctuary for her and any guests.

Spike stared in awe at the tiny mountain of emerald and topaz muffins in front of him, basking in their glory. It took him awhile before he recognized that Celestia was speaking to him. "Huh? What did you say? I didn't hear you."

"I was saying, it's been too long since you ate with me," Celestia repeated.

"Yeah, the last time was when I went to Canterlot’s ComiCon, and Twilight had her first sleepover."

"And you were so stuffed from eating carrot dogs and funnel cakes that you passed out in the middle of our meal," Celestia chuckled.

"Oh! I remember that. Spike looked like an overly large berry, and we had to roll him to your suite," Luna gasped.

"Haha! Yeah," Spike replied, his face flush with embarrassment.

"I miss having you and Twilight over, truth be told," Celestia said, before cutting to the chase, "So Spike, I received a rather interesting letter from Twilight this morning. Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"What did she say?"

"You first, Spike, then I'll tell you what she wrote," Celestia replied. She leaned forward, giving Spike her full attention.

"Well, you heard about Raindrops, right? And her visit?"

"Yes, I looked into her background. She seems like a nice pony, a bit caught up in her job, but nice nonetheless. Go on," Celestia waved her forehoof for Spike to continue.

"Well, Twilight finally acknowledged me as her son, and I was ecstatic. We went to town hall so I could be officially adopted, but they said that I'm legally considered a pet."

Celestia stood up, her wings flaring aggressively. "They said what?!"

"The receptionist gave all the points on how the citizens of Ponyville think of me as a pet, and well it makes sense in hindsight in how I was treated here in Canterlot."

"How were you treated as a pet here?"

"For one, most of the nobles tossing me table scraps and asking me why I wasn't on a leash. Then there was when a lot of ponies that treated me like they do in Ponyville, not badly, but kind of like a puppy. The biggest one, though, comes with a question. How many of my graduations did you go to?"

Celestia's, whose wings were twitching irritably, stopped as she tilted her head in thought, Celestia gasped, her eyes widening, "Oh Spike, I didn't go to any of them! I'm so sorry!"

"Well, there weren’t any anyways. They mailed honorary diplomas to Twilight," Spike said glumly.

"Honorary?" Celestia asked.

"Yes," Spike said, slouching into his seat.

"But you did the course work! I remember Twilight drilling you with questions that she felt would come up in your exams. I even proofread several of your theses!" Celestia exclaimed angrily, "Why didn't you tell me you didn't get recognized for your work?"

"Well... Until yesterday, I didn't think it meant anything. After all, I did the work, and it was like proof that I was worthy of Twilight. But now... It just hammers in the point that they didn't see me as an equal. Other than a few of my friends... Well, my friends before Ponyville."

"Why wouldn't they be your friends now?" Celestia asked concernedly.

"I haven’t had much free time to talk to them since we moved to the library, even though a few of them spend most of their time in Ponyville since we moved there."

Celestia got up from her spot and wrapped Spike in a tender hug. "Oh Spike! I'll have a talk with the dean at the college, and a few words with your instructors. Just remember, you were never a pet to me, Spike."

Luna coughed. "Now you've got some explaining to do dear sister."

Celestia looked at Luna incredulously. "Can't you see I'm having a moment?"

"You'll either having a bigger one, or you'll facehoof yourself hard enough to make another Ghastly Gorge," Luna retorted.

"We promised never to talk about that again, sister," Celestia replied, glaring at Luna, "Or should I tell everypony what's on the dark side of the moon?"

"Stop deflecting, Tia. We all know that we have enough dirt on each other to fill Twilight's library house. Now as I was saying, do you remember when Spike was young and he gave you and Twilight, Mother's Day cards?"

Celestia smiled and chuckled lightly, giving Spike a squeeze. "It was adorable. Why?"

"And how you two laughed at it, somewhat akin to what you just did?"

"Well, yes, but Luna, you have to know it was the most endearingly adorable thing he made..."

"Yes, Tia?" Luna retorted, goading that trail of thought to complete itself.

Celestia backed up and looked at Spike. "You told Twilight that you viewed her as a mother yesterday?"

When Spike nodded, Celestia looked back and forth between Luna and Spike as it sunk in, and as Luna predicted, Celestia facehoofed.

Spike was sure that facehooves weren't meant to create sonic shockwaves, nor were they supposed to make the ground feel like an earthquake as the room practically exploded. He was glad Luna had the foresight to place a shield around him, as he looked at the aftermath of Celestia's facehoof. Celestia looked at the obliterated room, the sudden flood of guards that burst into the room, and the tremors outside. Looking at Spike, she sighed, "I'm an idiot."

"So what's the damage?" Luna asked.

"I didn't make another gorge," Celestia retorted.

"Well you did make an avalanche."

"It wasn't a big one... It wasn't a big one, for the city of Canterlot. Most of the damage is located in the Everfree forest below the mountain, so that's a plus." Celestia sighed.

"It was still an a~va~lanche," Luna sang, "But on a more serious note, what about Spike?"

The two sisters were sitting in the gardens while chunks of the castle that were publicly accessible were being repaired. This gave them plenty of time to talk, and for Spike to wander the maze while they did so.

"How was I supposed to know he was being serious? I’ve received tons of letters from colts and fillies over the years. I thought it was like Twilight's Hearts and Hooves day letters; A sweet, innocent gesture from someone who didn't grasp what the concept of that day means," Celestia groaned.

"Sister mine, my most favorite living relative, you know I love you, right?" Luna said, patting her sister's shoulder.

"Yes," Celestia asked looking questioningly at Luna.

"But you are the most daft, blind, thickheaded pony I've ever known when it comes to those close to you. And that's saying something, since I've been regrettably introduced to Blueblood."

"He's not that bad, he just sometimes ... Doesn't use the right words when in public."

"When I first arrived, he told me Nightmare Night was months away, and that I should have somepony make my alicorn outfit look more realistic."

"In his defense, you were a surprise for most of the world when you got back."

"Then he wandered into my chambers drunk, and asked why my moon was always mooning him."

"You know how drunk ponies can be."

"After the last Grand Galloping Gala, he asked why I haven't gotten my visa like the rest of the foreigners in our country. The mare that was stuck to his side bolted with such speed you'd have thought the gates of Tartarus were about to open before her."

"Alright, I'll need to talk to him about not roping you into his mare scaring schemes. Honestly though, you should speak to him privately at some point. But I suppose, in bringing this up, you have a point."

"A few. First, other than Twilight, when was the last time you've personally interacted with the young?"

"There was Sunset Shimmer!" Celestia stated triumphantly.

"And what happened to her?"

"Oh," Celestia's face fell, "Yes, that was my bad."

"Yes, it was, and what about before that?"

"Well... About eighty, eighty five years before that... Around the same time I stopped the practice of bringing fillies and colts into apprenticeship positions at the castle. The nobles were making a stink about it, and there were citizens trying to make things all PR-y, and the whole thing of a castle being unsafe for foals to work in. Then the whole thing with fair wages. After it was cut, it saved the castle nine thousand and fifty bits a month in costs on the average, as well as increasing efficiency by a whole twelve percent."

"Alright, so you cut out children from your daily life to save bits and increase work efficiency. When's the last time you've connected with the citizens of Equestria?"

" I try every few years, but other than judging a few competitions, or in some ceremonial capacity, ponies freak out when they see me. I simply can't do that anymore, after a few centuries of being met with fear and awe. I simply let them view me as some type of perfect being, and they are happier that way," Celestia said sadly as she summoned a tea set to start up a cup for the two of them.

"That's silly talk. I remember when we used to have massive feasts where we mingled with the ponies of our land... Well, you mingled. I either got lucky or ended up stuck in the corner by the bar," Luna reminisced, "But still we were rulers who were of the ponies, not some porcelain goddesses to be viewed from afar. What happened?"

"Well after you ... were away. For the first two hundred years I was either doing nothing but paperwork, or locked in my room grieving. Then the next three hundred years, I basically threw myself into work and was public only enough to attend various ceremonies and events that my ... our little ponies needed to be happy. Then there was the three hundred years where I worked to make the world something you'd be proud of, and working on keeping on top of tons of growth. Both economically, and technologically. It's only these last fifty years where I tried to be more approachable, but at that point ponies saw me as somewhat unapproachable. A paragon of virtue to be admired from afar, or blamed when things go wrong in their lives.

"So by now, well. You've seen how quickly ponies freak out when I simply stop by for a friendly visit," At the end of her spiel Celestia rested her head on the table wearily.

Luna reached over and gave her sister a much needed nuzzle. "I was sad, I must admit, from all the things I've missed. But I'm here now, Tia. We, and I do mean we, don't need to be alone anymore. And I know for a fact that there is a little purple alicorn out there who loves you. I'm quite surprised you didn’t make a move the second she ascended. And now you also have a son, and in all my long years of life, I am finally an aunt."

"Lulu, you shouldn't play match maker. After all, the last time you dated, soap was just being invented."

"To my knowledge, when you last dated, the rope was called a passing fad," Luna teased.

"And your last romance caused the word lunatic to be invented," Celestia retorted playfully.

"Well you're the one who invented the food fetish, and that thing about socks, with your last lover."

"Well at least she was warm and well fed," Celestia harrumphed.

"I love you Tia," Luna laughed, "Now go talk to our nephew, and think about Twilight."

"I'll think about it, but I think she and Trixie are going to start working things out between them."

"The showmare? Hmmm... You know that I can't blab about what I see in others dreams. It's rude, but I don't think she'd object to being in a princess sandwich."

"Shoo! Off with you! I need to find Spike and have an honest heart-to-heart."

"Then I am off to either clear the air with Blue Blood, or banish him to a distant star for a timeout until he learns to mind his Ps and Qs."

Author's Note

Next chapter will wrap up a few thing.

1) Celestia and Spike.
2) Twilight's little breakdown (compaired to her normal ones).
3) Spike's personal feelings.
4) Spike getting his Rarity Doll (Saw that in the recent episode. I about died. So that's getting in a season early.)
and
5)Filthy Rich's reaction to Deet's leaving.

Or in short tying up the pacing prob. people had ^_^.

I'm making a side fic, one shot in response to this. But I'm interested in knowing.

Blue Blood, interested in colts? Or interested in a mare who doesn't see him as a bit factory / power move to climb up the social ladder? I'll leave his love life in your hooves dear readers. I can work it either way, but I would like to see the majority vote (it'll be written and up hopefully in a month or less.).

It Begins

Twilight replayed the conversation through her head as Raindrops left the library. Thinking back on it, she never really knew where to place Spike in her life. On one hoof, she hatched his egg, and raised him alongside Princess Celestia and the castle staff. But on the other hoof, for the longest time she saw him as someone to do her work for her and make things easier in her life so she could focus on whatever she deemed more important at the time. Which unfortunately didn’t include Spike on that list of priorities most of the time.

Twilight looked at Spike and said in a soft tone, “Hey Spike, why don’t you take the rest of today off, and tomorrow as well. We’ll talk about stuff after Scootaloo has her little get-together. I’ve got a lot of thinking to do, all right?”

Spike, who’d been slightly thrown off after Raindrops came into the Library, gave a sharp nod, just as he was about to leave he looked at Twilight, “Hey, you know I’m not mad at you right? I’m still glad that you want me to be your number one assistant.”

“Spike, before you go… Have I ever treated you unfairly?” She asked in a voice that could match Fluttershy’s in terms of softness.

“You haven’t treated me any differently than you usually do. No, I can’t say you’ve treated me unfairly,” Spike answered, unknowingly confirming Twilight’s fears.

As he shut the door behind him, she plopped down on a cushion and thought back to when Spike first came into her life. To think that she had taken him for granted for so long, and had never really put any thought into where he fit other than for work.

Spike was feeling out of sorts following the conversation between Raindrops and Twilight. Sure, he might not have had the best childhood by pony standards, and sure he might’ve wanted to experience life more as a pony than a dragon sometimes, but that was the rub, no matter how much he wished he was born a pony, he was a dragon in body, and as such lived by as well as was treated by different standards.

All in all though, he had a pretty good life. Princess Celestia and some of Twilight’s tutors trained and taught him personally, as well as helped him learn to control his draconic magic, though that was mostly trial and error on Princess Celestia’s part. But he still got free food, a roof over his head, and he never really wanted for anything. Well if he was honest there was a lot he wanted, but with his last experience in going into savage mode he knew that wanting too much was bad for him, so he grinned and lived with it, being happy with what he had.

“Stupid Raindrops and her stupid questions. It’s not like it was a problem, I mean, nopony complains when I get carpel tunnel from writing city-block long lists, or dictating a novel's worth of words to Princess Celestia for Twilight. So what’s a few cracks in the scales matter? It’s not like it was killing me or anything,” Spike sighed.

A bump pulled him out of his meanderings. Looking up, he saw the pink flank of Holly Dash, “Hey, sorry for bumping into you Holly.”

“No problems, Spike, it happens to the best of us. So what has you lost in your thoughts?” Holly asked, offering him a hoof to help him up.

“Just stuff, you know?” Spike answered.

“Ha! I know stuff. That can be pretty heavy. I know you have a lot of friends around here in Ponyville if you ever wanted to talk about stuff,” Holly said with a wave, “ I gotta get going, Derpy just got over the Alicorn Flu and I promised to meet up with her when she got better. I’ll be seeing you, and don’t forget. You have friends to talk to if you need them.”

Spike perked up a bit and waved back, “Thanks, and say hi to Derpy for me.”

With that little talk, he stopped thinking about how much was going to change, and instead wondered who to talk to. The first pony on his mind, like always, was Rarity, but he couldn’t talk to her about all the things on his mind. After all, he had his studly reputation to look after. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were also out, they were too stallionly to talk about emotions with. And Pinkie Pie was Pinkie Pie, you never knew if you were going to get a serious response from her or a melting pot of general madness, tangents, anecdotes, and fantasy with only the lightest thread of reality sprinkled in there.

That just left two ponies he knew he could talk to, Fluttershy or Princess Celestia. Fluttershy was awesome in her own right, sure she freaked out at the flip of a coin, and she undersold herself on almost every awesome thing she did. But all in all, she was a good pony to talk to if you needed a good listener, and no matter what, she wasn’t the kind of pony to judge a pony, or his case a dragon, by what he was feeling. Then there was Celestia, ruler of a nation, a teacher, a kind, compassionate pony, and what sometimes felt like a second mom.

Thinking on it, he ended up choosing Fluttershy, since he didn’t want Celestia to be burdened with the same thing Twilight was dealing with because of him. With his mind made up, he waddled over to Fluttershy’s cottage to talk with a good, good friend.

Twilight Sparkle trotted around her usual thinking spot. That stallion bust had seen all of her thinking time freakouts. All six hundred and sixty five, as of this moment.

The more she thought of it, the more irritated she became. When she hatched Spike, and Princess Celestia turned him back to his normal baby size. She didn’t think of being responsible for a new life, and when she first had to deal with him a few weeks later, she treated him more like a pet than something she helped give life to.

After all, he was a dragon and she was a pony, they weren’t even close to the same species. Even a year later when he started babbling his words as infants are want to do, Twilight didn’t really see him as an equal until Celestia sat her down and told her all that she knew about dragons. Sadly for Twilight, it was relatively little. A small talk on a few of the dragon spells she knew that were compatible with unicorn magic, skipping over most until she thought Spike was ready, and the rise and fall of the few Dragon Empires throughout history.

The series of lectures ended with Celestia promising to help with his education, and helping integrate him within her life, since they shared a special bond that Twilight would one day see and appreciate. A comment that until recently had gone over her head.

Her eyes shrank to pinpricks as she hopped erratically as if the floor had became lava, “Oh! My! Gosh! I’m a mother! … Oh no! I’m Equestria’s worst mother!” She lamented, “What am I going to do?! What am I going to do!? Is there a punishment for being world’s worst mother? I mean sure, no parent’s perfect, and most don’t even pay that much attention to their children if they aren’t in eye sight... Which I guess counts for any foal. So yeah, I can’t be that negligent if other ponies are just as bad … Oh, that makes it even worse! I’m supposed to be Princess of Something, and I can’t even help out a filly who needs help while at the same time criminally mistreating my son, whom I’ve never even treated like a son!”

Just before she hit Smarty Pants Incident-level sanity slippage, she stopped herself, and took a few deep breaths as Cadence taught her. Looking around, she spotted her trusty ink pot and scrolls and began writing to her ex-mentor for advice.

“So that’s when Twilight gave me a two day vacation, and I ended up coming to you to get stuff off my chest,” Spike ended his recollections, “After all, I spent hours talking to you about my past when we first met.”

“I remember that. You were just as adorable then as you are now,” Fluttershy gushed, “and I’m sorry that me and the girls haven’t been there for you like we should have. Can you forgive me?”

“Thanks, and sure I forgive you,” Spike blushed, “But what do I do?”

“Well, what do you feel like doing?” Fluttershy asked.

“I don’t know. I admit that I wanted things to be different sometimes, but not this much, this fast! And I definitely didn’t want Twilight sad,” Spike sighed, resting his head on the table. He didn’t bother sipping his tea, as it had undoubtedly cooled by now.

“I know more than anypony how scary change can be. But it was my friends, including you, who showed me that sometimes change, while scary, can be a good thing,” Fluttershy said, stretching her wing over the table and giving him a comforting pat on the back.

“Yeah, you’re right, but what do I do about Twilight? I mean, I don’t like her being sad, and it feels crummy that she’s all worked up about this,” Spike said, leaning into the soft feathers. It in a way reminded him of when Celestia used to give him wing hugs when he was a little hatchling.

“Well, I’m sure things will work out for the best. The best thing you can do is be honest with her.”

“Alright. Thanks, Flutters,” He said, draining his tea before getting ready to leave.

“It was my pleasure, Spike. If you need somepony to talk to, all of us girls are here for you. But if it makes any difference, Raindrops’ worries were well founded. I know when some of my reptile friends get their scales broken, they can get really bad infections, and it opens them up to lots of disabling diseases. So if you don’t mind, I might be able to give you a check up when you think you need it.”

With that, Spike left Fluttershy’s cottage. As he neared Ponyville Proper, he saw Rarity barrelling towards him, mascara running down her face. Before he could say a word, he was glomped and found himself laying on his back looking up at Rarity who was weeping all over him.

“Um … Yeah, I could never hold anything against you, Rarity,” Spike replied in a confused daze. He didn’t like to see the ponies important to him sad, but he had so many fantasies of Rarity laying on top of him... Of course, those fantasies usually involved clouds raining candied gems, and a swimming pool filled with chocolate pudding.

She sat up and pulled Spike into a hug. “Listen, Spike, we need to have a talk later, and it’s a talk that’s long overdue. But I promise, as Celestia as my witness, I promise to make it up to you!” She said, nuzzling Spike lovingly.

Twilight looked over her letter for the fifth time after she finished. She was still reeling from the revelation that not only was she in a way Spike’s mother, but his life had been less of an equal citizen as a pony as well as what could at times be considered almost criminal negligence. Well what would be criminal negligence if it wasn’t for the fact that thinking about it the treatment of the young was at best negligent.

Thinking about it further, and how Scootaloo had been living without any adult help or assistance for several years. Snips and Snails when they brought over the Ursa Minor into town, causing thousands of bits in property damage and risking the lives of everypony in town. Even the crusaders caused havoc with their cutie mark-earning stunts, yet nopony bothered to supervise them or even take proper safety precautions.

That’s just how ponies are, as long as I can remember. Might need to add that question to Princess Celestia. But I want to be a good mother, I really need to make things up to Spike, but I just don’t know what to do.

Author's Note

This is the Momma Twilight, Rarity fic that was built up on the chapter Getting Ready in Golden Wings. It's been stewing around in my head for awhile and I only got started to writing it. Haven't even started on the Diamond Tiara redemption fic yet. I've got plans for this little side fic.

Was brought up by meerkat8472 that it'd be good to give the fic references here. So that people who don't want to read Golden Wings or it's collective AU don't have to, to understand this fic. So here's the main run down / review of Golden Wings for those who want to see it.

Basically the main thing that you need to know. Raindrops is a Jill-of-all-Trades social worker. Found Scoots eating out of a dumpster and took her in. Discovered that Scoots has been stealing bits and stuff for survival, and went around paying off everypony.

Saw Spike, and had to do her duties as a social worker looking after a child's best interest. Found out that well ... Spike is Spike [crack's and holes in the scales from being a living pincushion; learning that he basically does a stallions job [several of them] for no money at all; sleeps in a dog basket; etc.] and told Twilight to fix the problem in a weeks time. Then chewed out Rarity.

The Party is basically Scootaloo coming out in the open to those she wronged and apologizing. Of course doesn't work that way since Rarity learns about it from Sweets. And Rarity gabs to Fluttershy in public where everypony can hear and it spreads. Oh! And might pop up from time to time, but CMC made Potion cupcakes, and one of them accidentally summoned Trixie. The New CMC are the old ones [Bloom, Sweets, and Scoots] plus Mango Dash, Dinky Doo, and Pipsqueak. Apple Bloom recently as of chapter 11 got her Cutie Mark in potion / magical food creation. And that's 11 chapters + 1 Intermission chapter cut down to it's bare essentials.