A Pony's Guide To Minecraft

by Lord Shaxx

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Random, Comedy
Length: 1107

Pinkie Pie has ended up in Minecraft, taking the place of Jason, who landed in Equestria. Pinkie Pie is now travelling throughout the world of cubes, learning what she can, while Jason has his own problems in Equestria.

Through a strange and twisted series of events, involving graffiti, Red Bull, and cake, Jason from Element Animation doesn't end up in Minecraft, and Pinkie Pie takes his place. Jason, predictably, ends up in Equestria. Pinkie has to travel throughout her new world, while the residents of Equestria have their own problems with Jason.

Cancelled due to me having no idea how to write this. :/

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-22 02:20:04 UTC

Part 1

        Pinkie Pie materialized with a pop, falling a short distance to the ground. Looking around, she saw strange cubes everywhere, colored with little squares. “Where am I?” The party pony said, stopping her bouncing for a second.

“Hello, Ja-wait a second. You’re not Jason.” A voice said, emanating from everywhere.

Pinkie Pie brightened, “Well of course not! I’m Pinkie Pie! I dunno what a ‘Jason’ is, but I wanna meet it! Where am I? Who are you?” A confused sigh was heard.

“I might as well. Hello, Pinkie Pie. Welcome to Minecraft.”

        Said pony screeched to a halt in mid-sproing, “What’s Minecraft?”

The voice spoke again, and seemed to slowly circle her. “Minecraft is a voxel-based video game-” A sound was heard, and Pinkie rushed to it.

“Hey, a cow!” Said cow was made of cubes, and patched white on brown, with eyes facing opposite directions.

“Yes, Pinkie. That is a cow. Cows are indigenous to the Plains biome.”

Another sound, and Pinkie Pie zoomed off to a new creature, this one shot and squat, with pink coloring, eyes like the cow, and a curly tail seemingly painted on its butt. “That is a Pig. Pigs are also indigenous to the Plains bio-”

“Can I ride it?” The party pony asked, interrupting the voice.

“Well, yes, but-”

The voice never finished, as Pinkie Pie bounced onto the pig, “Yaaay! I’m gonna call you George! You look like a George! Heehee, Georgie-Porgie pudding and pie! Take me that way, George!” The pig promptly turned a separate direction and began walking. “Oookay, that way.”

        “You really should be building a house right now.” The voice spoke, a worried tone creeping in.

“Lalalalala, what was that? I can’t hear you, I’m busy traveling with George!” Pinkie said, smiling goofily. Said pig continued trotting, walking past trees made of cubes and large mountains of dirt, oinking here and there.

“But, there are dangerous things in the night you know.”

Pinkie just giggled, “Well sure! And my name’s Pinkie Pie!”

The voice replied, “Your name IS Pinkie Pie!”

The party pony froze, glancing at George then back, “Please shut up now. Or you won’t get any cake!”

        The voice seemed to ponder this. “What kind?” Pinkie and George stopped.

“Hey, you’re voice changed! And the cake is carrot, because I think George here is a carrot-cake kind of guy.” The pig snorted in response, a happy gleam somehow entering the lifeless eyes.

“Oh, I’m just a voice inside your head. I can change whenever I want. And no thanks to the carrot cake.”

        Pinkie Pie looked downtrodden, before perking up. “Hey, a cave!” She entered, riding her pig, going into the depths of the stone tunnel. A blood-curdling screech came, seeming to shake the entire world, before George and Pinkie came rushing out, with the pony repeating, “Nonononononononononononononono.” A determined look came, “I need to build!”

        A sound like a rock hitting the ground hard came, with the words, An Egg’s Guide To Minecraft appearing, and the Egg’s crossed out and replaced with Pony’s, and An replaced with A. Suddenly a pink hoof shoved away the words and background, before Pinkie Pie popped up. “Hold on there! You didn’t even get a proper sign up? I mean, come on!”

A different voice spoke up, “Hey, hold on! I’m the author of this story! And I know that I’m typing this text, but it’s the only way I can talk to you! I mean, you can’t talk directly to me after breaking the 4th wall! Screw it, I’m switching the view over to Jason. Pinkie, go back to the story. Readers, keep reading. I’m going to continue now.”

==================== Back in Equestria ====================

        A loud crackle was heard, and a large egg fell from nothing. It rolled onto its ‘back’, a pair of eyes opening and a mouth curled into a grimace. The eyes were strange, with one pupil normal, with a large green iris, and a tiny pupil in the left eye, with hardly any iris. “Owwww, that hurt.” It suddenly hopped up, “Where am I? Dan? Daaaaan? Chrisi? Come on now, it’s not funny! Hello?”

        He suddenly noticed the five ponies around him, staring at the strange creature that interrupted their picnic. “Okay, note to self. Cut back on the Coca Cola.”

The lavender pony, with a horn on its head, spoke, “What the buck?!” All the other ponies began panicking, while Jason just stood, confused.

“Seriously, is this some sort of joke?! I mean, come on! I can believe zombies, vampires, and ghosts! I even did an Old Spice parody! But PONIES?! Dan, Chrisi, you gotta do better than that.”

        One golden flash later, and he was shaking himself awake on a marble floor. He whirled around, looking about the giant hall. “Sister, what is the meaning of this! I was just going to sleep and then you interrupt me about some-” An irate voice spoke, before trailing off. Jason turned to the source, and saw a tall midnight blue pony, with wings and a horn.

“Maybe I shouldn’t drink Red Bull after the Coca Cola as well,” Jason anxiously said.

        A white pony, also with wings and a horn, began talking, “What are you, and what are you doing in Equestria?”

Jason blinked, “I’m Jason. What’s Equestria? I was just going up a huge mountain, then beat Dan down to the bottom, and somehow I ended up here! I mean, he wouldn’t even let me keep my axe!” Crickets chirped from somewhere, as silence reigned supreme in the hall.

The dark blue pony spoke up, “Maybe we should leave this Jason to your student in Ponyville.” The white pony simply nodded, while the other pony continued, “I think Twilight would have a better time understanding this creature than even us.”

==================== Back in the E. A. kitchen ====================

        Dan came over to Chrisi, “Chrisi! Oh my God! I missed you so much!”

Chrisi smiled hopefully, “Really?”

Dan laughed as he shook his head, “Noooooooo.”

The other egg looked downtrodden, eyes falling to the ground.“Awww. Say, where’s Jason?”

Dan looked a bit upset, “I don’t know. But I know where we can get a new Jason! A better Jason! One who doesn’t always kill people with cheese!”

Chrisi nodded, “Yeah, that does get kind of annoying. Say, weren’t you just in the internet?”

Dan quirked an eye, “Yeees….”

Chrisi grinned, “Well, I think I know where Jason went.”

        Dan forced a smile, “Really? Where?”

Chrisi’s eyes gained a hard gleam, “Nope, it would hurt your so called dignity as a man. I’ll give you a hint though: ponies.”