Ssh! Look! There he is! Right there, behind the tent flap.
Oh, wait... right. No picture. Silly me!
That guy's been stalking me, I tell you. He follows me everywhere, but I don't even know his name. My friends tell me, “Pinkie, you're being crazier than normal.” Well, Rainbow Dash says that. The rest are too polite, I think.
I don't think they can see him. But he's there now, peeking at me from the side of the shop stall. I know he's there. My tongue gets jiggly when he's watching me. Pinkie sense is useful! But it's also kind of a pain, 'cause, like I said, he's always watching me. Which means my tongue is always jiggly.
My friends don't like the funny way I talk now, they think I'm being weird. And I spent three hours a couple days ago trying to lick a stamp! Eventually Spike just sent it for me. He's a really helpful dragon, unlike most dragons, who are...
Wait. Side-track.
Well, no matter how much I bounce, I can't catch the guy. I don't know how he slips away. Not even Rainbow can get away from me. And he doesn't look right. He's all shaded and weird-colored, and he doesn't even have lines... and his proportions are all wrong.
It creeps me out a little, honestly.
I wish he would go away, but he's always there. I tried wishing on a star. I tried wishing on a clover — a three-leaved one; I couldn't find a four-leaf. I even tried wishing in a well, twice. Waste of two good bits. I could've bought cider with that!
But it's hard to drink with a jiggly tongue.
I went to Twilight and told her to give me magical x-ray vision so I could see him all the time. She told me she couldn't. I'm not so sure — I've seen her use x-ray vision spells when we visited Canterlot. She looked at some very interesting things. She told me to go home, get some rest, and eat less sugar... but I don't think that's going to give me x-ray vision.
I asked Rainbow to help me catch him, but she just laughed. “I'm not falling for that prank again,” she said. I guess that's fair. I did have fun once leading her on a chase after an imaginary falcon. It was a lot of fun, and I imaginary-caught it, but Rainbow didn't seem to like that game.
So, I asked Fluttershy to stare him. But that was a bust. She still insists that she doesn't have any control over it. Maybe she really believes that? But all that flying magic she's missing is going somewhere.
Rarity... well, Rarity wasn't helpful at all. She just wanted his measurements. So she could trap him? “No, of course not! I wouldn't waste an opportunity to design for a whole new species! I'm going to make him a dress!” I told her he doesn't seem to wear dresses. “Oh, well then I'll make him a suit.” A suit to capture him in? “No! How dreadful!” So, she was no help at all.
Getting Applejack to lasso him didn't work either. She just lassoed whatever he was hiding behind when I pointed to him, and she never lassoed him. After a while, she got tired of it, and I got super-frustrated. Since when does A-J miss?
I asked Pinkie, but then I reminded me that I'm me, so I can't help me. I told me that that was silly, of course I can help me.
That's when it hit me. I have to go where he came from!
I know I can't do it alone. Thankfully, I have me to help me. I rush back to Sugarcube Corner, and I race up the stairs. There's no time to lose! I burst into my room, not even bothering to close the door behind me.
Inside the closet is what I need: my spy outfit, complete with night-visiony goggles. I jump into it. Well, more like I jump onto it. I don't let that stop me though. I become a blur of motion, pulling and fumbling and wrapping things around me.
Hey, you try putting on a skin-tight suit with only hooves! It's not easy, okay?
Finally, I got the suit wrapped around me. I slip the goggles down over my face. Ready!
Now, I just have to wait. Night-visiony goggles don't work right in the daytime, after all.
Sometime just before noon, Fluttershy comes over. She was able to walk right in because my door was open. “Um, Pinkie Pie?” she says. “I'm really sorry about not being able to help earlier, so maybe we could go on a little picnic to make it up for you? Bernstein Bear made up a batch of his wonderful marmalade.”
“Sure! I'd love to go!” I hop along behind her, or I thought I did. Actually, I hop into the wall. It doesn't feel nice.
Fluttershy is standing over me. How did she get there? “Oh my goodness! Are you okay?”
I get up. It's no big deal. “Maybe you should help me along a little.” I grab onto her tail so she can lead me there.
She's such a good friend! She leads me the whole way there without even once suggesting I take the goggles off. And that's good, because if I took them off, I wouldn't be ready to go stalker-stalking in just nine hours!
* * *
The picnic was very nice, even though I couldn't see anything. Bernstein's marmalade is delicious!
But now... now the sun has set, and it's time for me to go where no pony has gone before — downstairs.
Actually, ponies have gone downstairs before. But I have to do downstairs in order to get to where no pony has gone before — wherever that guy came from.
Actually, ponies may have gone there before, too. But I kind of doubt it. Then again, I have the weirdest feeling that I have been there before. But I've never been there before! What's up with that? “I've never been there before, but I've been there in the past,” I say. I ignore me. I say silly things like that all the time.
So now, instead of him following me, I'm following him. It doesn't seem to be working very well. Somehow, I keep following him in different directions.
Soon enough, though, I'm sneaking through Twilight's house. I'm careful not to wake her. She probably wouldn't understand. I'm not careful not to wake Spike. I doubt I could if I tried.
That's when I see it. It's beautiful, a shimmering shining sparkling little tear in Twilight's wall. Night-visiony for the win! Now that I know how he got here, I can go fix things.
I jump into the crack. It's way too tiny for me, but I get sucked in anyway, which feels kinda weird, but I guess I can't complain. Now I'm floating in not-space for who knows how much not-time. But I can see time from here with my night-visiony goggles, and it's not good. I'm slipping!
I slip in time a little, not much, just a few weeks, but now I see the problem. There's another crack coming, only it's not really cracky-shaped, it's more like a square, well, not square, a rectangle. But I can see it's a long time before Mister Stalkerton started stalking me.
I pop out through the rectangle-crack, right into the lap of some blond guy with long hair. He's not the one I was after!
He just stares at me. His mouth and eyes open wide. “Pinkie Pie? Breaking the fourth wall is one thing, but this...”
“Hi!” I say. “Gotta go!”
I bounce away through a half-finished house and out into a road. Well, it seems like a road, but it's too big, and it's made of some weird black rock with yellow stripes.
Then I see him.
I think he heard me! I jump behind a plastic trash can just before he turns around.
I'll have to follow him close and learn all I can about him. I have to know how he got to my world!
Author's Note
Be sure to read the sequel, The Following II!
Photos by The Red Scarecrow.
Proofreading by RaylanKrios.
