Lt. Smallballs Vs Kushy The Drug Man In Equestria

by Lord Faggot

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Comedy, Random, Adventure
Length: 1262

Lt. Smallballs had Kushy The Drug Man cornered, but then Kushy smokes some teleportation weed and Lt. Smallballs follows him by smoking the same weed and they end up in Equestria, surprise surprise!

Lt. Smallballs was hot on Kushy The Drug Man's trail for months. He was ready to kick his ass and save children everywhere. But then Kushy takes a certain type of teleportation weed and things get outta hand VERY quickly.

First story written on PC, woooo!

Story reviews are quite welcome, please post your review of the story in the comments below.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-23 15:24:24 UTC

The Fight Of Coolness

Lt. Smallballs had been on the trail of Kushy The Drug Man for months now. And finally, he had him cornered.

"Stop right there, criminal scum!" Lt. Smallballs commanded Kushy The Drug Man, who hits the corner and turns around, Lt. Smallballs, his hands on his dickgun ready to blast Kushy to smitherenes.

"Nuh-uh-uh, what's the magic word?" Kushy rhetorically asks Lt. Smallballs, who wonders for a second before looking back down at Kushy, who is holding a marijuana cigarette. Kushy lights it, breathes some in, says: Bye have a great time! And then dissappears.

"DAMMIT! KUSHY, COME BACK HERE!" Lt. Smallballs shouts into the air, before noticing that the marijuana cigarette was still on the floor. He reluctantly picked up the still lit up weed and breathed it in. He then teleported somewhere...

"Spike, we have to get this right! Or else Zecora won't be pleased!" Says the purple Alicorn searching through the pages of a book named: "How Not To Be Zebraist: For Dummies."

"Try... Uh... Page 26? I think I saw it in there..." Spike tells Twilight before going back to wondering where he last put the rare potion of Beetlejuice. Twilight puts down the book to say something to Spike, when suddenly there's a bright flash!

"Uhhh... Where in the world am I?" Lt. Smallballs asks himself. The light dissapears and the first things he see's are some books. Then he looks down, it's a dragon.

"DEAR GOD NO!" Lt. Smallballs quickly pumps his massive dick until he cums all over Spike, this happened in two seconds.

"Ew, what's this...," Spike gets some off his chest and onto his finger and then licks, "that tastes horrible! It's definitly not milk." Spike looks at Twilight about to ask what it is before she says:

"Uhh... Don't eat that. It's, uh, poisonous. Yeah." Twilight quickly tries to brush it off with a mop but not all of goes.

"Why aren't you dying!?" Lt. Smallballs asks Spike in a shouting tone.

"What?" Spike asks Lt. Smallballs.

"It's acidic! WHY AREN'T YOU DYING!?" Lt. Smallballs shouts at Spike and then he answers back with:

"Dragon sc-sc-scales are re-s-s-s-sistant to acid." Spike answers in an almost whisper, obviously scared.

"You, monster, thingy, what are you and why are you here?!" Purple Alicorn Twilight demands Lt. Smallballs to answer.

"I was chasing Kushy The Drug Man, an evil, walking, talking and human-sized weed plant who gives out all kinds of drugs to little kids! I nearly managed to catch him but then he smoked some kind of teleportation drug and dissappeared! I smoked some of it too to see where he went, and now i'm here!" Lt. Smallballs answers, ready to beat the everlasting shit out of her.

With Kushy...

"This. Is a weird place. Is this real or am I just tripping balls right now?" Kushy asks himself, before realising he's not high at all.

"Mother of god." Kushy walks to a hill and climbs up and looks down at the small town in front of him. He see's a sign saying: "Ponyville, that-a-way!"

"To a magical adventure off we go, enjoy the show." Kushy says before running to the small town.

With Princess Celestia...

"Luna, do you think we should go and check on Twilight? She may not be used to her powers..." Celestia asks Luna who is sitting on her bed eating a hayburger.

"Definitly. We *omnom* should." Luna gets up and finishes her hayburger.

"Why do you like those anyway? They're really unhealthy." Celestia says to Luna who ignores her, takes flight and crashes through her window.

"Why didn't she just take her carriage? I'll just follow..." Celestia flies up and follows Luna.

With Kushy...

"And what are YOU supposed to be?" Kushy asks a red and black demon Alicorn of doom with bat wings.

"I AM THE LORD OF DEATH, THE DEMON OF DEMONS. I, AM--" The Alicorn of doom's sentence is cut short by Kushy shoving marijuana in his mouth then lighting it.

"That'll make you feel better. Now just relax and smoke that weed." Kushy skips along the road until he comes across three little fillies. One earth pony, one unicorn and one pegasus.

"Come on crusaders, let's get our cutie mark in exploring!" The orange pegasus says to the others until they bump into Kushy.

"Hey kids, you all want some weeeeeed?" Kushy slowly asks the three little fillies who whisper to eachother before answering.

"Miss Cheerilee says that we should never accept things from strange creatures!" The unicorn declares and then the pegasus bucks him in the right leg.

"Nuh-uh-uh, you're all going to smoke this weed!" Kushy taps his head with both his hands and begins to chant that sentence.

"Nuh-uh-uh, we're all going to smoke that weed." The three fillies all chant in unison with Kushy.

"Good. Now smoke it!" Kushy shoves some weed into the three ponies' mouths and then lights them. Kushy then continues to skips along the road to Ponyville.

With Lt. Smallballs...

"So I get it. I'm in a place named Equestria where these horses are in charge, earth ponies, unicorns and pegasi. Got it." Lt. Smallballs answers and then breaks the door down accidentally with his massive dickgun and walks through town until he see's him... Kushy The Drug Man...

"KKKKKKKKUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY!" Lt. Smallballs screams into the air before pumping his dick for two seconds and them cumming in the direction of Kushy. Kushy notices and matrix dodges out of the way and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon melt due to the acidic cum that just smashed into their faces.

"Oh dear god! I gotta run, little things!" Kushy runs off into the Everfree whilst Lt. Smallballs chases him through the forest, melting it with his cum whenever he spotted Kushy. But then Kushy crouched down and tried to blend in with the plants around him, it didn't work since he's human-sized and got up and quickly started to run again before Lt. Smallballs even started pumping.

"Nonononono!" Kushy shouts as he runs through the tree's but then he hits a door and quickly fiddles with the doorknob until it opens. He spots a zebra mixing something in a big cauldron. The zebra turns around and before she can say anything, is held up againt Kushy's body. Lt. Smallballs crashes through the door and see's him holding a zebra like a meatshield. Lt. Smallballs has his dickgun ready to fire and melt him to death after he let's go off the zebra.

"Kushy... Let go of the pony with the black and white stripes and I will not kill you. Ok?" Lt. Smallballs starts to say a bunch of deals with Kushy until he drops the zebra, takes a big smoke of his weed and dissapears again.

"Dammit, he escaped again. DAMN YOU KUSHYYYYYY!" Lt. Smallballs shouts into the air and Zecora says to him:

"You are from another world, so back you must go to take down this creature!" Zecora tells Lt. Smallballs, breaking her usual rhyming speech.

"Yes, but how do I get back?" Lt. Smallballs asks Zecora, who just shrugs.

"Looks like i'm stuck here until I can find a way out then." Lt. Smallballs spots the weed Kushy smoked just minutes ealier and reluctantly smokes it and dissapears back home. Twilight bursts through the door with Spike.

"Zecora, are you alright? Have you seen a wall-eyed devil that has a hairy back with a massive penis?" Twilight asks Zecora, who nods and tells her that he has just gone home.