Phoenix Wright: Lawyer In Equestria

Phoenix walked into the defendant’s lobby, feeling confident and ready to encounter Filthy Rich.

He sat down on the couch, a smirk on his lips, his eyes gleaming with determination.

Twilight Sparkle walked up to him, with sad eyes and a comforting smile.

“Phoenix, I’m really grateful for all you have done, so are my friends, but this is potential suicide your facing.”, her eyes began to tear up.  “Don’t do this, Phoenix, Filthy Rich owns one of the most POWERFUL tycoons in Equestria. He’s too powerful and I’m not worth it.”

Phoenix just kept the confident look on his face.

“But he cracks under the pressure of someone being able to get checkmate.”, he said in a calm and collected tone. This comment made Twilight raise an eyebrow.

“What do you mean by that?”, Twilight said, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Twilight, I’ve dealt with much more powerful than his kind before, be it a rich blackmailer with a massive ego and vocabulary, or black market loanshark who has serious anger management issues.”, Phoenix explained, remembering previous encounters with rich murderers.

“Filthy Rich’s kind can’t stand one thing. Losing to someone lower than them on a scale of power.”

Then he stopped for a moment and thought.

Speaking of people who hate losing., Phoenix remembered he had something to ask Twilight.

“Can you give me a brief run-down on Von Karma’s track record here?”, Phoenix asked.

“Well.”, Twilight thought back to everything Celestia told her about Von Karma, “Celestia already knew he forged evidence and murdered in his previous life. So that’s why after each case of his, the Equestrian Royal Guard checks all of his evidence to see if he forged anything, so far, we haven’t found a single piece of forged evidence.”

“Regardless,” she continued. “He is still the prosecution god he once was. Leaving no stone unturned and making sure to control the trial himself. He has only lost one case in the eleven years he’s been here.”

Now it was Phoenix’s turn to raise an eyebrow.

“He lost? To who?”

Twilight thought back.

“Some upcoming freelance attorney named Geido Normada, who was also from the world beyond Everfree.  Little is known about either of their lives, and Celestia refuses to tell anyone details.”, she explained, putting a confused face on Phoenix.

Sounds like a weird name., he thought.

“Trials about to start!”, said one of the guards.

Looks like I’ll have to think about it later,

Judge Discord, this time holding a rubber squeaky hammer instead of Mjolnir.

“Yesterday we found a new suspect in the trial. I also found out that a certain bailiff wasn’t sharing his cheese puffs with me, but that’s taken care of.”, he smirked at the pony with a melon for a head and giant toothpicks for legs. “Relax, he’s still alive. Anyway, let’s just get this whole “Filthy Rich” mess cleared up, so that I can give my freaking verdict .”

“The defense is ready, Your Honor.”, Phoenix spoke, prepared for Von Karma to take a ‘meaningful pause’, but Von Karma spoke almost immediately.

“The prosecution is ready too, but before the trial begins, I would my opening statement to be  directed at the defense.”

Everyone in the courtroom went silent. Discord merely blinked and waited.

“Go on.”, the draconequus said, bored as a boxer in a tennis match.

After what was 5 seconds of awkward silence, Von Karma spoke.

“Phoenix Wright, I must admit, you are quite the adversary.”, Von Karma stopped and shuddered at the fact that he just said that.

Phoenix knew there was more.

“You are ruthless when it comes to something standing between you and the truth. You’ve crushed me, you’ve broken my daughter, and you reshaped the clay it took me fifteen years to mold. I’ve been watching you since that faithful day, and I’ve learned my lesson about forging evidence, and how much more fun it is to punish the sinners without cheating.”, Von Karma snickered as Phoenix listened in awe of what he was saying. “But regardless, it is my job to punish those who sin, and today I shall crush you like the bug that you are.”

This new revelation not only intimidated Phoenix, but the entire jury, including Celestia. Von Karma didn’t stop forging evidence to help find the truth, he stopped forging evidence because he wanted to crush defense attorney’s on an even playing ground, and Phoenix was one that the god of prosecution had a vendetta against.

Discord, who couldn’t care less about Von Karma’s motive, spoke up in a bored voice.

“Yeah yeah, get your dang witness, chop chop.”

“The prosecution calls Filthy Rich to the stand.”

Filthy Rich, with an arrogant look on his face, trotted up to the stand before getting ready to testify.

“The witnesses name is Filthy Rich, he is a food chain tycoon owner, responsible for supplying Equestria with most of it’s favorite delicacies.”, Von Karma said.

Phoenix wondered why Von Karma didn’t ask for the witness’s name and occupation, but then figured out Von Karma is just trying to speed up the process to defeat Phoenix. The defense attorney already knew what was coming.

“Witness, testimony, NOW!”, Von Karma said.

Filthy Rich began his testimony after recoiling in shock at Von Karma yelling at him.

“I never went to Sweet Apple Acres on that day. I have ponies you can call up as witnesses to prove it. I was in my office all day dealing with business.”, he testified with confidence it would hold up.

“Bug, cross-examination, NOW!”, Von Karma did one of his finger snaps.

“I never went to Sweet Apple Acres on that day. I have ponies you can call up as witnesses to prove it. I was in my office all day dealing with business.”

Phoenix easily saw the contradiction here.

“ OBJECTION! I’m sorry, mr.Rich, but I have one piece of evidence that proves you and your witnesses are lying.”, he presented a photo of Applejack.

“This witness already testified, that you were, in fact, at Sweet Apple Acres that day.”, this statement caused Von Karma to snicker.

“And what makes this witness so reliable? Considering the accused is one of her best friends, she even has a MOTIVE to lie.”

Phoenix just smirked.

“Now what was it that Your Honor said yesterday about this witness’s ‘special trait’?”, he said triumphantly, before continuing. “It was that this particular witness CAN’T LIE!”

Von Karma merely snickered again.

“Objection. All the witness made clear was that Filthy Rich was SUPPOSED TO COME to Sweet Apple Acres, not that he had.”

“NOT SO FAST!”, Phoenix yelled. “Mr.Rich, did you lose your credit card on the day of the murder? Because I found one in your office.”

“Yes, I lost my Platinum Discount card for The Canterlot Tycoon Lounge.”

Phoenix smirked again.

“I found it.”

Von Karma started to sweat, knowing what card Wright was actually talking about, and where it was found.

“Would you like to see it, Mr.Rich?”, Phoenix said.

“Yes, that would be wonderful, it costed me 200,000 bits.”, Filthy Rich got comfortable.

“WELL HERE YOU GO!”, Phoenix held the blood stained card up high. “It was found, not in your offices, but at SWEET APPLE ACRES!”

Von Karma just shook his head and rested it in his palm.

“Objection. Mr.Wright, let’s just say for a second that Mr.Rich did go to Sweet Apple Acres that day. I imagine you have proof that he was the murderer?”, he sighed before continuing. “Tell me, Wright, is this definitive proof that Mr. Rich killed Ambassador Lulamoon?”

Phoenix thought it through carefully.

“No, no it is not. While it points to Mr.Rich killing Ms.Lulamoon. He could’ve just dropped it there before the murder by complete coincidence.”, Phoenix knew this was highly improbable, but if he hadn’t said it, Von Karma would have. It was an obvious trap.

“So Mr.Wright, with no REAL evidence to attack Mr.Rich with, what are you going to do now?”, Von Karma did his trademark finger snap and put on an ominous grin... again. It appeared it was a two way trap. If Phoenix said yes, Von Karma would’ve pointed out the possibility.  If Phoenix said no, Von Karma would’ve cornered him.

Phoenix already saw a way out of the trap, and held his index finger high, pointing at Mr.Rich.

“The defense request further testimony about this witness’s visit to Sweet Apple Acres!”, he exclaimed, sending the jury into a frenzy, cheering for justice to be served.

The gleaming excited look in his eye ensured he had found out a simple way to end this pointless goose chase.

SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK!

Judge Discord banged his rubber squeaky hammer..

“CHAOS IN THE COURT. Keep going, jury!”, Discord cheered before Celestia gave him a disappointed look, causing Discord to sigh. “‘Order’ in the court, Mr.Rich will testify about his visit to Sweet Apple Acres.”

Mr.Rich twitched a little, but testified nonetheless.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t testify about this. I remember now, I did go to Sweet Apple Acres that day, but I left at 6:30. I never even met with the victim.”

The multiple lies and contradictions in his testimony are so obvious it’s like he’s not even trying., Phoenix thought before realizing. Of course! I have no track record here like I do back on Earth, he’s making the same mistake that Mr.Sahwit did. Instead of realizing he’s playing with fire, he thinks that as long as it isn’t some top notch lawyer like Mr.Grossberg, he can lie all he wants and expect no contradictions to be found and exposed to the court. I can use this to my advantage.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t testify about this. I remember now, I did go to Sweet Apple Acres that day, but I left at 6:30. I never even met with the victim.”

Phoenix held out the picture of Applejack again.

“ OBJECTION!”, he addressed the witness in a calm voice,”Mr.Rich.”

“Is this another pointless question that you lawyers always ask me?”, Filthy said. “Ask away.”\

“Actually, I’m pointing out two facts. First and foremost, Ms. Apple made one thing clear in her testimony.”, Phoenix said, holding up a printed copy of Applejacks testimony. “You were at Sweet Apple Acres for one purpose, TO MEET WITH THE VICTIM!”

Mr. Rich smiled at Phoenix.

“Mr.Wrong, did you forget though? If I left at 6:30, how could I have killed the victim if she was killed at 10:30?”

“That is the second fact. Noone knew the exact time of death. “, Phoenix said. “How did you know?”

“That’s easy, I... ummm.”

“One more question, Mr. Rich.”, Phoenix said. “What was the murder weapon?”

Mr. Rich was sweating bullets.

“A broken pitchfork? Why?”, this statement by Filthy caused Phoenix to point at him.

“AND WE HAVE OUR MURDERER FOLKS!”, Phoenix said, “Mr.Filthy, how did you know that? The detail that it was broken was NEVER LEAKED OUTSIDE OF THIS COURT!”

Filthy started to twitch, as did Von Karma.

“Mr.Wrong, you’ll pay for this, WITH YOUR LIFE!” He pulled out a walkie-talkie. “Come on in boys!”

Suddenly the room filled with mercenary ponies wielding swords. 20 of them it looked like.

“And that’s not all, Mr.Wrong. This entire court is filled with them! They’re highly trained assassins! Not even Princess Celestia can escape this! Mr.Von Karma, you will live as long as this is our little secret.”

Even Von Karma looked angry, he not only was being blackmailed, but he would’ve switched suspects immediately if he knew Rich was planning to do this.

“This is a disgrace to the courtroom!”,Von Karma yelled.

One of them jumped at Phoenix and slashed at him with their cutlass.  Just as Phoenix was ready to bite the dust. He felt the smack of a... balloon?

“You really thought that would work, didn’t you?” , Judge Discord had an amused smile on his face. “True, Celestia wouldn’t be able to stop this, but you forgot that the judge could bend freaking physics and does it for things as simple as getting ice cream.”

The assassins all had padded hoofs and balloon swords now.

“WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!”, the police had arrived.

Rich fainted at knowing he had just lost to a simple lawyer.

EPILOGUE:

In the end, Phoenix had defended someone who had more potential than he ever knew.

Not only was she an Element Of Harmony, but 2 weeks passed and she became a princess.

And hey, Hearts and Hooves day was coming up, maybe Phoenix could learn to enjoy it here, but there were tons of unanswered questions like “Who is Geido Normada? Will I ever see Maya again, or will she see me?”