“AAaaaaah!”
This isn’t normally how my days are.
“Don’t hurt us! Please!”
Usually, I just steal some priceless artifact and end up losing it just to save my hide.
“What are you doing? You madpony!”
But I never hurt people.
Now, to get a better grasp of this picture, we would have to start how I became… I don’t want to say evil but, just too smart for anyone with a good ideas to understand me.
Anyways, when I was born in the streets of Canterlot, (yes, the literal streets) my parents both did their best to teach me what I would need to survive.
Basics for any child: lock-picking, sleight of hand, and the common ins and outs of baditude.
But my time in the shadows of my parent’s protection was short lived.
They had both gone on a mission to get me the “num nums” and had been caught, and banished from this world.
They didn’t mention they had a kid, so the princess never knew.
So, that left me with no protection a small 5 year old black coat and blue maned earth pony with no place to call home.
That was… until I was sent to the orphanage.
Despite the terrible condition of free food and beds. I mean, seriously? How were those kids ever going to learn how to properly get food if you don’t learn to take it? Silly ponies.
Anyways, it was there, that I learned what my true calling was…
Well, not specifically there but the school next door.
It was there I learned about science. The magnificent intricacy of nature showed no bounds to my brilliant mind.
As my mind grew larger from the knowledge, I got teased more and more.
But I continued on my path of knowledge and was the youngest pony to ever receive a college degree in science at the age of 10.
I know what you’re all thinking: Man, this is gonna be a story about how this guy became like, super famous and got all the women and saved the world.
Well, guess what mister pony-person thing from another dimension? Let me finish my story!
Anyways, once I had achieved my degree in science I was a big hit. I had received so many awards but one among them wasn’t the one I had wanted the most in life: my cutie mark.
So, one day in my amazing mansion I had an idea: If a cutie mark is what my special talent is, then it must mean I’m good at it or until I do something amazing. Since I’m good at stealing, and science I should create a master disguise and be a super villain!
It was the logical solution.
So, it was then that Master Control was born!
“Don’t worry Control, I’m sure the princess wouldn’t mind giving you another life sentence in jail.” The pony beside me said in a sarcastic tone.
“Oh, thank you so much Mr. Warden I sure appreciate the positive attitude.” I replied in the most sincere voice I could.
Warden only responded with a roll of his eyes and short snort. He kept his magic on my locks on my chains to make sure I couldn’t escape as he lead my through the royal castle to the room before the throne room. It was filled with about 10 other guards.
“Hey, Warden?” I said as we approached the all too familiar door, “Mind if I make one last statement before we confront the princesses?”
“Seeing as this is your most likely last day on Equestria, go right ahead.”
“Are you sleepy?” As I said that I put on a small gas mask as black smoke came from the vents and knocked the warden unconscious along with the other guards.
“Ha! The old knock out gas! They never see it coming!” As I said that a voice crept on through the smoke.
“There you are Master Control! Let’s get you out of here sir!” said a rather small griffon with the same mask on.”
“There you are Assistant! Good going, took you long enough though!”
“Darn it! Where is that key!” I said as I frantically searched Warden’s body.
“I guess we’ll just have to fly out sir.”
“Again? Ugh, I tire of old exit routes. Why can’t we just call the fly bot to break through and create a distraction while we escape through the back entrance?”
“I’m sorry sir, but the fly bot is still under repair.”
“Darn it! Oh, well I guess you cant always be evil and stylish.”
“Hop on my back sir ill fly us back to the lair.”
“YOU GET BACK HERE YOU FIENDS!” princess Luna said as she swung the door open and screamed at us.
“That’s our que. Let’s get out of here Assistant!”
“Couldn’t agree more sir!” as he said that I dropped a smoke pellet.
“YOU WIL NOT ESCAPE US YOU EVIL DOER! WE SHALL- where did they go?”
“That was amazing Assistant! Leaving through the high window and then closing it so they wouldn’t spot our trail? Brilliant!”
“Ah, but not as brilliant as your idea to rob Fancy Pants’ entire house!”
“The fool bought it thinking I wouldn’t come back for it! Yes, I am quite brilliant aren’t I?”
“Yes you are sir.”
“Well, I suppose this is the last time we will see dear old Canterlot. I mean, we can’t very well hide an entire mansion the city where we got it!”
“Where do you suggest sir?”
“How about Ponyville? The Everfree is nearby making it easy to hide the house.”
“And we could still get our groceries! Brilliant sir! But… what will we do about our base here?”
“Simple my assistant, we leave it here. I have a plan so where we will need no house and it all hinges on one pony, and her 5 friends. HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! JOIN ME ASSISTANT IN MY EVIL LAUGH!”
“Hohhohohohohoho!”
“BWahahahahahahahahahahah!”
“MWahahahahahahahaha!”
“Teeeheee!’
“Fufufufufufufufufufufufufu!”
“Hey! What did I say about using that laugh Assistant?”
“That I can only use it while dressed as an elderly Japonese man accompanied by a fu manchu mustache.”
“Exactly! And I don’t see any facial hair on you!”
“Sorry sir.”
“It is ok assistant. Go get the copter ready with the mansion, I must say good-by to my old lair.”
“Yes sir.”
As Assistant left I thought to all the times we’ve spent here. From the time we stole the priceless royal jewels to our first heist where we had robbed a grocery store just for practice.
That griffon was like a brother to me, in fact, technically you could say I’m his father. I had informally “adopted” him while on one of my heists to rob a wealthy griffon family who had 5 other sons and well… let’s just say the poor kid (despite being slightly younger than me by just 3 years) just was dead weight to them.
He had explained his situation and even helped me rob his own father. The devious griffon!
Well, 10 years later here we are about to leave from our final heist in Canterlot, with a mansion no less!
But this plan in Ponyville would allow us both to lay low while we plan to go to another city. Canterlot became quite dull and I always wanted to start new.
“The copter is ready sir!”
“Thank you assistant, let’s head out.” After I said that we headed into the copter and got into our seats.
“Assistant, activate cloaking mechanism.”
“Activating cloak sir.”
“Wake me up once we land.”
“Hey Twilight?”
“Yeah Spike?”
“Did you hear what happened to Rarity’s friend Fancy Pants? The guy got his ENTIRE mansion robbed.” Spike asked as he walked beside Twilight as she was reading.
“Yeah, from that “Master Control” guy right? I don’t know why princess Celestia and Luna don’t banish him.”
“You know the guy has never been successfully caught long enough to be properly punished, so how could they?”
“Ugh, if I ever get my hooves on that thief, I swear!”
“Hey, just calm down, the guy lives in Canterlot and I don’t think he will be leaving with an entire mansion.”
“I don’t know about that Spike… The guy seems to do some impossible things. Did you hear about the time he stole Luna’s abacus? And she keeps that thing on her at all times! ALL TIMES SPIKE!”
“Well, although he may be able to do something as difficult as that I don’t think he can defy the laws of physics enough to escape this one.”
“I hope s-“
*CRASH* *BOOM*
“What in the name of Celestia was that???”
*THUD*
“Whatever it is, it sounds like its coming from the Everfree.”
“Darn it Assistant! When I said wake me up when we get there, I didn’t mean: release the mansion! It’s the middle of the day! Ponies all around Equestria could have heard that!”
“Sorry sir, but I had to! We’re out of gas!”
“Out of-“, I then looked towards the gauge to see that it was indeed almost empty. “In that case, please tell me we have enough to land ourselves?”
As if to answer my question the gauge dropped to zero.
“Welp, would you like to crash in that tree or that swamp?”
“Ill take the tree. Assistant, commence code crash landing.”
“Yes sir…”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!”
*THUD*
Author's Note
Any criticism is very much appreciated! Just do be careful, I'm like a banana! I bruise easily and have a lot of potassium in my system!
