Chapters Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 14 "Hearts of a Feather"
Equestria Noir 2
Perspective: Private Eye
A cold hospital…
Everypony talking…
“Did you hear about that boy’s mother?”
“Yeah, heard she had a foal that didn’t turn out right.”
“It’s a tragedy, to be at that age without a mother…”
“You kidding me? Kid that rich could just buy a new one.”
“Shut up! Do you realize what may be going through his head right now?”
“Why should I care? Just means we have to deal with the foal.”
“The father barely even looked at it…”
“Is it true what they said about the spine?”
“Completely unfixable, even with magic. He’s lucky to be breathing at this point…”
“What’s going to happen to him…?”
“Well, we made some options to the father…”
“You know that’s illegal.”
“Come on, the last thing we need is one more rich brat in the world, especially some hybrid chicken…”
Chicken...Hybrid...names...just names….
Why...Why….WHY DID SHE HAVE TO DIE!?
____________________________________________________
My face met the floor and the dream faded from my mind. I was facedown on the floor of my bedroom, judging by that fact, I probably tossed and turned again. I sighed and tried to get back on my hooves, only to shield my eyes as dawn’s light broke into them.
“Private…?” I heard Twilight say as she rose from the bed, her wings stretching themselves. Her violet eyes looked on me with concern. “Bad dream again?”
“Something like that,” I said, dusting myself off and beginning the stretching process. “I’m fine though.”
“You always say that.” She said with a shake of her head. “It’s about that night isn’t it?”
I blinked, and the said with a sigh, “What gave it away?”
“Private, we’ve shared a bed for the last few months, and on top of that we’ve been married just as long, you can’t exactly hide things from me,” She replied with a bit of a smile.
That warmed up my day a little bit. I climbed back on the bed, and planted a kiss on her nose. She let out a small giggle at that, that made me half want to pounce on her buuuut…
“Go and get your brother up big guy.” Twilight said, poking my chest with a hoof.
“Alright, I’m going.” I said, heading for the doorway. I looked back, “But don’t get too cozy, I just may help you with a preening job…”
*SPROING!*
“Dangit Private!” She yelled, trying to tame her now stiffly erect wings. I tried not to grin too much. It will be a long while before she’s used to those wings. I went out the door as Twilight yelled up a storm trying to get her wings flattened again. I moved down the hallway to see about rousing my little brother.
I opened the door to Tailspin’s room. Tailspin’s bedroom was your typical Pegasi colt’s room. Blue wallpaper, a writing desk for his many projects, a bunch of toys littered everywhere and all sorts of Wonderbolts posters on the wall.
My little brother himself was snug in his cloud covered blankets. Right now...he was hugging his pillow and...well….
“Scootaloo…” He said to himself in his sleep, “I saved you from the evil changelings...now let’s live together forever….” He then proceeded to kiss said pillow.
I figured this would happen sooner or later, he’s almost twelve after all…
And now I was gonna do something oh so evil…
“Oh yes Tailspin…” I said, doing my best imitation of young Scootaloo’s voice. “Let’s get married, fly off into the sunset and have lots of little colts…”
“That sounds great Scootaloo…” He mumbled, another kiss.
“And we can even invite your brilliant, handsome brother too!”
“Wait….” Tailspin said, his sapphire eyes opening. He looked up at me, then at his wet pillow, then his face turned as red as one of AJ’s apples.
“So, you saved her from Changelings this time?” I teased.
“That’s not funny Private!” He yelled, throwing his pillow at me the best he could.
I laughed, dodging the pillow.
Tailspin proceeded to grab his other pillow. “I’m gonna make you pay for that!”
“Let’s see you try!” I yelled, grabbing the fallen pillow.
We then proceeded with the time honored tradition of early morning pillow fight.
_______________________________________________________________
Perspective: Twilight
Ah, the early morning pillow fight. It wouldn’t be a proper morning in the Sparkle-Eye household without it. Thank the stars I finally got my wings to behave, and Tailspin’s keeping Private occupied so I can get up, and get some morning chores done. Even so, why must the males of so many species resolve their issues with conflict? Is it some manner of hormonal drive, or just the need to one-up the other? I wonder if there has a study on typical male behavior, because it may help me understand, better, as Tailspin grows up. Good preparation for when we have children of our own, I presume. After all, we may decide to have more than one foal, and it might be nice to have both a little filly and a colt.
Of course, there’s also...what we have to do to have a….
No, wings, don’t you-
*SPROING!*
ARRRGH!
*siiiiiiiiigh*
“This is just not a good morning,” I grumbled as I worked on getting the table cleared. That was before I heard a thump at the door.
That’s right, not a knock a Thump!
I went to the door to find a familiar sight. Everypony’s favorite wall-eyed Pegasus, Derpy, was on the ground, seeing crooked stars.
I tried not to laugh at her antics, and instead helped her up, saying, “Derpy, one of these days you should really consider glasses.”
“Oh I’m okay, Twilight,” She replied. “It’ll take more than that to pop this bubble pony!”
That, I did laugh a little at. “Anyways,” I went on, “what made you come to see us so early?”
“I got a letter for Private, we just got it last night, it’s really urgent!” She said, reaching into her mailbag and, after a couple of attempts, managed to pull out an envelope. I took it in my magic and watched her salute. “I’m off to deliver good mail and good muffins!” She yelled and flew into the air…
Just to run into Rainbow Dash….
“Geez Derpy!” Rainbow yelled after her as the mailpony flew off.
I just chuckled and went back inside. I wonder what letter could possibly be so urgent it had to be delivered this early.
I looked at the address and...huh?
Blue Heart 1124 East Cage Juncture New Orneigh, Equestria 70112
Who the heck is Blue Heart?
I went into the kitchen to find Private working on serving breakfast, I fought the urge to drool at my husband’s cooking and tapped him on his shoulder with a hoof.
He turned and smiled at me, “If you’re hoping to get the haybacon early it’s gonna cost yo-” I put a hoof on his lips, a serious look in my face.
“Private,” I said to him, quietly. “Do you know a guy named Blue Heart?”
His silver eyes widened and he almost dropped the pan in his magic. He recovered himself and looked to the letter. “It, it can’t be…” He swiped it from my magic and turned off the oven, going into the hallway to read it...I followed.
______________________________________________________
Dear Preventus,
I know you haven’t heard from me in, by Celestia has it been over a decade already? There is so much I want to say, I honestly half expect you to throw this letter into the fire. But, please read this out. I’ve lived a good many years on Celestia’s green earth. I’ve seen a many number of things, and got to raise seven wonderful children, including your mother. I said a many number of things I regret to her, in fact, turning my back on her was the biggest mistake of my life. I want to make things right for you and Tailspin…
The truth is, I’m not doin so good, the doctors are calling it pneumonia, and I may be sick for a long time. Please, come down to New Orneighs so that we can make things right again...I want to see my grandchildren...please…
Always Swingin,
Blue
“So, he’s your maternal Grandfather.” I said as Private and I sat on the couch together, Tailspin was busy eating in the kitchen.
Though Private looked like he lost his appetite. “Yeah,” He said, “After mom married Dad, they and the rest of the Heart Clan all moved down to New Orneigh.”
“I don’t think you ever told me about him,” I said, “What’s he like?”
“He was a jazz singer,” He said, smiling a little. “I used to remember mom dragging me to family reunions. I would beg him to let me listen to him play his saxophone, he would always talk like he never left the stage.”
“Did he oppose your parents marriage too?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No, at least not up front. He actually was more than happy Mom fell in love with Dad when he found out. But, the rest of the family pressured him into basically cutting mom off.”
“Oh my…” I said, covering my mouth with a hoof. How...how could they…?
“They would visit for some family reunions, I remember them being a lot of fun...until….” His eyes moved towards Tailspin, who was digging into his pancakes.
“Oh…” I said, putting a hoof on his shoulder. “Private, I really think you should take him up on his offer. If he really is sick, then don’t you think it’s right to let him see his grandson?”
He sighed, and then looked at me, “I could never win to you can I?”
I smirked, “Well...if you really want to make me happy…”
“Twilight, for the last time I’m not wearing the beard.” He deadpanned.
“Oh come on!” I whined.
“Hey, if you won’t dress up as a skimpy galactic princess turned Huttle slave, I’m not going to dress up as some hundred year old wizard.” He said, crossing his arms.
“Fiiine,” I huffed, and gave him a playful shove. “But we still gotta go to New Orneigh.”
“I’ll get packing then…” He said, and then yelled to the kitchen. “Hey Tailspin! Wanna come along to New Orneigh?”
“To newwhatnow?” Tailspin replied.
__________________________________________________________
Perspective: Private Eye
Why is it so HOT?! I swear as we rode south, it just kept getting hotter and hotter… And this humidity! I feel so… sticky… How can ponies live like this?!
I looked outside, and could see the city. We were going past a lower-end neighborhood of wooden houses, painted all sorts of different colors, with nice front porches, and bench swings hanging from chains. I could see ponies out and about, a lively market going on in a market square. A nice mix of all three tribes, and even some zebra mixed in for flavor. The smaller houses gave way to bigger ones, with lush, fenced-in, yards.
Upper class ponies clopped about in light summertime fabrics, but still looking dapper. Where the poorer neighborhood had ponies chatting, and just getting along, the upper-class one ponies who nodded, and gave their neighbors the time of day like they were royalty. Then we came to the city itself. Cobblestone streets, with brick buildings that had elegant wrought iron balconies, and were pretty close together, along with some more modern buildings. None of Ponyville’s stucco and thatch, though. Both materials would not do well in a humid environment, like this. And when I say humid, I mean it. Between the Gulf of Mexhayco, and Whinnysippi River that runs through, there was a lot of water in the air.
The train station was downtown, in a section that seemed to mix a deep southern style of architecture often called “Antebellum” with that often seen in the more historic parts of Paris Prance. More brick, and stone, everything looking cultured, stately, and elegant. There were carefully cultivated green spaces, with flowering trees shading the street. Some of the houses had trellises, a sturdy-looking vine growing on them, with light purple flowers hanging from them in bunches like grapes.
We made our way towards one of the older, larger buildings. We could hear voices in the backyard as we all walked/rolled up to the home.
“Geez, why did it have to be so humid?” Tailspin said, wiping his brow. “I swear Celestia is trying to melt us…”
“Just relax, we’re here,” I said, walking around the home towards the backyard.
Twilight followed, pushing Tailspin in his chair with her magic. “Private, are you sure it’s okay for us to just show up like this? Shouldn’t we knock?”
“Trust me, the real action is in the backyard, if you know anything about Hearts…”
I opened the yard door to the backyard. At least several dozen pegasi of various ages and sizes were all chattering with one another. Some were eating passed out food, others trying to ring in the many foals playing in the area. Twilight and Tailspin were stunned at the sheer number of the guests.
“Aj’s family size with Pinkie’s penchant for get togethers…” I said, gesturing to the crowd. “These...are the Hearts.”
Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 14 "Hearts of a Feather"
Chapter 2 "Heart to Hearts"
Chapter 2
“Heart to Hearts”
To say that they were shocked to see was like saying Princess Celestia sort of likes cake. Most of the faces I recognized, at least the older ones, the foals were all new faces to be honest. There was that long awkward moment when nopony moved or spoke, except for the foals who were too enamored in their games to notice.
The first to even make an attempt at a conversation was one face I recognized. Where once I remembered a partying thirtysomething pegasus, my image was now replaced with an older mare. She, like the rest of her family, was tall, thin, with a violet coat and a brown mane that was showing streaks of grey. She looked upon me with, uncertain eyes. “Private, is that really you?”
I nodded, awkwardly. “Yes, it’s me Aunt Meadowlark.”
The awkward silence continued, nopony seemed to know what to say, including me.
That was, until another pegasus spoke up. Tall and imposing, every inch the military pegasus, with a violet coat and short brown hair, was my Uncle Hawk. He gave me a small glare and said, “So, are we finally good enough for your notice? Or does saving Equestria make you better than everypony else?”
“Hey now hold on!” Twilight said, getting between us. “Private is here for the same reason you all are!”
Hawk’s attitude changed the moment Twilight came into his vision. He adopted military posture and said, “Forgive me your highness, I did not mean to be so rude in your company.”
“And even still Hawk!” Meadowlark yelled, “You should at least be hospitable.”
“Why be hospitable to the stallion responsible for ruining Sparrow’s chances of happiness?” Another voice, female again, perked up.
Despite how much she tried to hide it, Aunt Robin had changed greatly from the last time I saw her. She was beautiful once, in fact she was a model back in her heyday. But Aunt Robin had apparently hit her expiration date three styles ago. She was a tad shorter than Hawk, with a blue colored coat, and red hair that was obviously dyed. She held a sour expression that would give Miss Harshwhinny a run for her bits.
“None of us asked you to come, I will not tolerate the presence of some mutt…” She said, a sinister glare coming on me. “Your highness, I don’t know what you saw in him, clearly royalty has gone down in taste since I was your age.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. Aunt Robin was never known for mincing words.
“Look, I just want to see Grandpa!” I yelled.
“What makes you think you have the right?!” Hawk yelled. “It’s because of you tha-”
“EEEENOUGH!!!” A voice yelled, silencing everypony.
Out of the house stepped one, Doveheart. A dark violet coat, long silver hair, and the silver eyes we shared, were all part of my Grandmother. She was once beautiful, although she would deny it to her grave. She almost looked like a pegasus version of Granny Smith now if I think about it. She walked solemnly towards us, nopony dared stop her. She finally came up to me, I had no idea what to expect…
By all accounts, I tried to hide from mom’s side of the family following her death. I didn’t even try to contact them. I told myself a long time ago it was because none of them wanted me around, or that they were too poor to look after Tailspin.
But now, I was ready to face the music.
I slowly removed my fedora and said, “Hey Grandma.”
She nodded, and then walked past me...towards Tailspin who was waiting patiently at the entrance. Tailspin caught a glimpse of Grandma, and looked to her.
There was a moment where Grandma stopped, and was quiet before my little brother. He held almost all of mom’s features, I can’t imagine what must have been going through her head.
Finally, she spoke, “You, you are Sparrow’s son right?”
Tailspin nodded, “Uh, yeah, I’m Tailspin. Are you... one of my relatives?”
Grandma….
Hugged Tailspin. She grabbed my little brother and held him tight to her. Tailspin was stunned by the gesture for a moment. But then, he returned the hug.
Damn it Tailspin, always too cute for your own good.
She let go of Tailspin for a minute, and turned to her children. “You all should be ashamed of yourselves!”
“But moth-” Robin tried to interject.
“Sparrow’s children are with us for the first time in over a decade and this is how you treat them!?” She yelled, dying down any sort of protest. “Family is family! I don’t wanna hear any insults, or discrimination! Sparrow was my child the same as any of you! You will show them the same respect and courtesy that is due! Do you understand?”
“Yes’m!” They all said at once, with terrified looks on their faces.
“Good, now, does anypony know when Hummingheart will be here?” She asked.
“She said she would be around once her shift is done,” Meadowlark said.
“Alright then, just remind her she’s supposed to bring the potato salad,” Grandma said firmly.
Wait, there’s a family reunion going on and potato salad isn’t there for ponies to ignore for the better stuff? How novel.
It was around this time I noticed the foals moving curiously to Tailspin. A lot of them bore a resemblance to Meadowlark. Well, she did get married last time I heard from her.
One of them, a big eyed violet pony said, “Will you pway with us cuzzy?”
“Uh…” Tailspin began.
“He’d love too,” I said quickly, using my magic to launch his wheelchair into the middle of them. “Have fun!” The foals gleefully gathered around Tailspin, then pushed him off into someplace in the yard where all the little foals went to play away from the adults.
“Uh, are you sure he can handle it?” Twilight asked me.
“Everypony has to go through the ‘playing house’ initiation at one point or another.” I said with a small smile.
Grandma laughed a little then took my hoof. “Come on, your grandfather is waiting.”
With that, both Twilight and I went into the house. Nopony else said a word as we did.
_____________________________________________________
The interior was cosy, filled with nicknacks, and comfortable chairs. The walls had the cheap wood panelling that most houses in this quarter possessed, but was still a lovely home filled with a lot of memories. On the wall were record covers from Blue Heart’s few albums, along with a lot of family pictures. Mom had a lot of siblings.
Grandma led us to the bedroom. I was heartbroken at what I saw. There lying on the bed was Grandpa Blueheart…
Blueheart was once a handsome stallion, that much anypony could tell. His blue coat had lost some of it’s sheen and his hair was silver now. His wings were at his side, the feathers looking matted as well, not preened in a while. Grandpa was hooked up to an iv tube and his breathing was rather heavy.
At his side was the youngest of the Heart siblings, Eagleheart, he stood at his father’s side, his blue coat covered by a white lab coat and his brown mane combed back. He looked at all of us coming in.
Grandma gave him a pleading look, Eagle just shook his head and left to give us some privacy.
She walked up to Grandpa, and gently took his hoof, “Dear, there’s somepony here to see you…”
Grandpa opened his tired brown eyes and looked at me, he smiled, “I, didn’ know if you would come…”
“Hearts flock together don’t they?” I asked with a smile.
“That they do boy,” He said with a weak laugh. “Come closer so I can have a look at you.”
I went over as close as I could manage in the small bedroom. Grandpa smiled and looked up at me. “You’ve grown, to t’ink, you were jus’ this little colt at one time who used ta play in yo’ mother’s wings…”
“Grandpa, I’m sorry I haven’t,” I began.
He shook his head. “None a dat, you had yo’ reasons fo’ keepin’ distant, as did we all. Sparry’s death was hard on alla us. When she married yo’ father, at first I didn’ know what to t’ink. But, looking at you, and hearin’ all you’ve done for Equestria on the news, I c’ain’t deny how proud I am of ya.”
“You heard about all of that?” I asked.
“Course I did,” He said, and then said with a grin. “And I heard you married some sweet princess.”
“Well, technically I was a student when we met,” Twilight interjected, coming into the room.
“It’s an honor Princess Twilight.” Grandpa said.
“Really the pleasure is all mine,” Twilight said. “I’ve rarely met Private’s relatives. I’m just happy we’ve come before things got too serious.”
“Oh don’t go talking like Eagle,” Grandpa chuckled, “I’m still right as rain.”
“Don’t you be like that.” Grandma chastised him, “You know Eagle is our family doctor and he’s never steered us wrong.”
Grandpa smiled. “I’ll be fine, I just wanted to clear the air with my grandchildren, an’ in-laws…” He finished with a smile at Twilight.
“To think, my grandson would marry a princess,” Grandma said with a laugh.
“Is there anything I can do to help, Miss?” Twilight asked politely.
“Oh, Eagle has things handled, but we could use some help down in the kitchen.” Grandma suggested.
I was about to yell why it was a bad idea before Twilight stuffed a hoof in my mouth. “I’d love to help! Give Private some alone time with my grandfather-in-law.”
“Right this way dear.” Grandma said, leading Twilight out.
Grandpa gave me a knowing look, “Bad cook?”
“Explosively bad…” I said with a look of dread.
“I know the feeling,” He said with a laugh.
“Excuse me, Private?”
I turned to see Eagle in the doorway. “May I speak with you for a second?”
“Sure, Uncle Eagle,” I replied, following him into the hallway. I looked to the doctor. “How bad is he?”
“Well, it definitely is pneumonia,” He said, looking serious. “With time and the proper medication he’ll work towards a cure. But at his age, who knows what could happen.”
“Can you at least give me an idea of his chances?” I asked.
“Pretty high so long as he doesn’t move around without the fluid. But, you know how old stallions can be,” He said with a light chuckle.
“Thanks for looking after him.” I said honestly.
“Anything for family,” He replied “And’ for the record, I never objected to your mother marrying your father, I was just an ignored minority.”
“So long as he can work towards recovery,” I said. “Everything will work out.”
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Perspective: Twilight
The kitchen was an absolute hive of activity, with Grandmother Heart supervising it all. She ordered her kitchen legion to chop this, or mix that. She’d go over, and get a taste of something being created, and offer a suggestion to help the flavor. The kitchen was an old fashioned sort, with laminated counters that have seen lots of meals prepared upon them. The old stove was still chugging along, despite being older than Grandmother Heart herself… Maybe Princess Celestia would recognise the model. The whole room smelled wonderful. It was making me wish I was a better cook than I was…
“Meadowlark! Don’t mix those spices unless you want to set everypony’s tongue on fire!” Grandma Heart shouted at the mare from earlier.
“Sorry, Mama,” Meadow said, “still trying to get used to all this.”
“Five foals yo’self and you’d t’ink you’dve mastered the art of cooking!” Grandma retorted.
“Well, I did master the art of reheating.” Meadowlark said with a good natured smirk.
“Twilight, I hate ta ask a princess to help out with cooking…” Grandma Heart said worriedly.
“Oh don’t worry,” I reassured her. “I’m not a princess here today, just an in law. And well, you reaaally don’t want to let me near cooking…”
“That’s alright,” Grandma replied, “I’m sure some of those potatoes can be peeled, it’s a simple enough task that will keep you away from a stove.”
Knowing my luck…
I proceeded to use my magic to begin peeling said potatoes. Luckily it was simple thanks to me levitating the knife. I could’ve used a windcutter spell to get them all sliced and diced but...I’d rather not test that with Alicorn magic.
Meadowlark looked over at me as she started preparing, what I guess was gumbo. “Sorry about Mother, she can be rather demanding of everypony in the kitchen.”
“It’s no big deal, I’m glad to help, at least a little bit.” I replied, tossing a skinless potato in the strainer.
“You’re not at all what I imagined a princess to be,” Meadowlark said with a laugh.
“I get that a lot,” I replied, I then tried to change the subject, “So, five foals?”
“Not exactly planned,” She replied, mixing the gumbo, “I was a big party pony back when I was younger. Got into a lot of troubles with Mother and Father over it. One day my coltfriend and I got a little too close during prom and well…”
“I can’t imagine it’s easy.” I said.
“Oh, once your foals work their way into your heart, it becomes easier. You start to appreciate the little things in life a lot more.” She said, a smile on her face.
“I’m glad you came around to enjoying your time with them.” I said with a smile, preparing to toss the potato into the strain.
Said potato ended up going through a window…
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Perspective: Tailspin
This. Was. Humiliating.
I am going to kill bro for this!
Here I am in the middle of a tea party with a bunch of little fillies. The table was frilly, the little house I was in was very well made, but it was obviously for little fillies. Why did this side of the family have to have more fillies than colts?
“At least they didn’t make me wear a bonnet…” I grumbled as I ingested invisible tea.
“Cuzzy Tailspin,” One of them said, “Why do ya sit in the chair all the time?”
“Well,” I explained, “I can’t walk on my hind legs, really, so I need the wheelchair to get around.”
“Aww, thats weal said,” Another said.
“Yeah, but I’ve learned how to live with it,” I said with smile. “So, we’re done playing tea party, what’s next?”
“We can play house!” One yells.
“Yeah! Cuzzy Tailspin can be da daddy!” another squeals.
Yeah right, me, a daddy, sure….
Well...maybe with….
_______________________________________________
Hey big guy, made you a little something…
Thanks honey, though, you didn’t have too…
I wanted to...
I appreciate it, you know?
Well...maybe you’ll appreciate this….after all...the kids are in bed…
Sc-Scootaloo…
Don’t get bashful on me...just let it happen…
_____________________________________
“EEEEW Cuzzy is making kissy faces!”
That pulled me out of that awesome dream and into the sound of a bunch of fillies giggling. Uggh, this is worse than with da-
Perspective: Twilight Sparkle
Stupid gossipy relatives. Asking me if Private and I had foals yet...barely a year and they expect...URGH!
I was about ready to take out my frustration on another potato when a mare burst into the room. She was a Heart, definitely, with a violet coat and long brown hair tied back in a work bun. She was wearing a business suit, must’ve just come from the office considering how it looked.
She ran right up to Grandma Heart, looking frantic. “Mother! When were you gonna tell me?!” She yelled.
“Hummingbird? It’s about time you arrived,” Grandma said, “Did you remember the potato salad?”
Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 14 "Hearts of a Feather"
Chapter 3 "Broken Hearts"
Chapter 3
Perspective: Private
I heard the yelling downstairs and I left Uncle Eagleheart to find, huh? Aunt Hummingbird? What’s she doing here? I thought she was off in San Filicisco being a lawyer?
“That’s not important right now!” She yelled at Grandma. “When were you going to tell me about the WILL!?”
Will? Grandpa left a will?
“Whatever is going on in here?” I saw Aunt Robin come into the kitchen, Uncle Hawk right beside her. She saw Hummingbird and looked as surprised as I was. “Why, Hummingbird, what are you doing here?”
“And what’s this about Pa’s will?” Hawk asked.
“I was hoping to ask dear Mother about that.” Hummingbird said, glaring at Grandma. “When were you going to tell us?”
“I didn’t think I needed too,” Grandma replied curtly. “It was no business of any of you, your father is still alive and kicking. So there was never a need to talk about the will.”
“Just, what was in the will?” I asked, coming into view.
Hummingbird glared at me with a look that would make Discord want to turn back to stone. “You! What in Celestia’s name are you doing here!?”
“Now Humming-” Grandma began.
“Don’t you try and smooth things when they aren’t, Mother!” Hummingbird yelled, “This... colt is the reason why Sparro-”
“ENOUGH!!”
Everybody stopped to look at Twilight. Hummingbird gulped, it was probably the first time she noticed that she was in royalty’s presence.
“Now, can we all cool down for just a minute?” Twilight said, firmly.
Nopony spoke up at that.
Gosh I love her…
“Just, what was in Pa’s will Hummingbird?” Hawk asked.
Hummingbird let out a breath and replied, “After I heard what happened to father, I started trying to get his effects in order should the worst happen. Much to my surprise, he already left a will. And…” She turned to me, “the will stated that everything would pass on to Sparrow’s sons…”
“Me and Tailspin…” I said, in shock.
“This is ridiculous!” Robin yelled, “What makes these brats deserving of anything?! It’s because of them that our family was shamed! If Sparrow hadn’t been mounted by that screw-headed bas-”
“That’s enough, Robin!” Grandma said, quieting her.
“But Mo-” She tried to interrupt.
“Not a word,” Grandma said, glaring at each of her children. “I raised you all better than this. This is precisely the reason your father and I kept the will a secret. We both knew all of you would fight like children over this. The will was made long before any of us expected Sparrow’s children to return to us.”
“But, Grandma…” I said, walking to her. “You guys were poor, barely able to get by. You shouldn’t have given everything to us.”
“Oh don’t try to pretend you’re as sickeningly selfless as your mother!” Robin yelled.
“It’s still outrageous!” Hawk yelled, glaring at me. “This pinhead is completely undeserving of anything! Let alone that broken winged murderer we have playing with our children!”
….
“Shut up…”
“What did you say to me, boy?” Hawk growled.
“I said SHUT THE HELL UP!” I said, my magic grabbing the nearest chair and slamming it into his face.
“You take that back you son of a bitch!” I yelled, and I was about to pounce him when I felt Twilight’s magic hold me back. I struggled against her, but I was not going to get away anytime soon.
Hawk got up, and wiped some blood from his mouth. “This ain’t over, kid, bet on it…” He stormed outside.
Robin huffed and followed behind her brother.
Hummingbird glared at Grandma. “You see, if you had consulted me, then we could get a proper inheritance taken care of. Instead you place blind faith in oh so precious Sparrow’s children…” She then glared at me. “Who should not have been born in the first place…”
Twilight gently set me down on the ground. She put a hoof on my shoulder, “So much for letting cooler heads prevail.”
I looked over at Grandma. “I’m, sorry…”
“For lashing out? Or calling me a bitch?” Grandma said with a bit of a smug look.
Oh… Oops...
“Were you a few years younger I’d wash that mouth out with soap,” Grandma said with a good natured laugh.
“Oh believe me, some of us have tried.” Twilight said, laughing in turn.
“In all seriousness Grandma,” I said, looking to her. “Why did you and Grandpa put us in…”
“I’ll explain it when the reunion is over, I’d rather not have more of my furniture get thrown about thank you,” Grandma replied curtly. “For now, we still have some cooking to finish.”
“You’re letting Twilight co-OW!”
After Twilight was finished kicking me in the foreleg she said, “Yes, we are doing very well thank you. Now you just enjoy the reunion, Private,” She said, sending me out the door with her magic.
Boy, they had no idea what they were in for…
____________________________________________________________
Perspective: Tailspin
Sweet Celestia, I am so glad those fillies decided to play chase with one another. I gave the excuse that I was in a wheelchair so it wouldn’t be fair, so I ended up watching. Boy, kids were a lot to handle. No wonder Private and Twilight are so tired all the time.
Then there was that other lady..who looked like a lawyer or something…
I saw them all sitting in a circle of lawn chairs. Aunt Robin was talking to the lawyer lady, “Absolutely ludicrous, to think after all we put in to this family, Sparrow’s ghost still haunts all of us.”
Mom…?
“I think we should’ve saw this coming.” The lawyer lady said, “Sparrow was always the favorite…”
“Don’t talk like that Hummingbird,” Hawk said, was that blood on his chin? “we’ll talk to Pa and get everything sorted out. He has to see reason one way or another.”
“That pinhead boy isn’t going to get anything from this family!” Robin yelled. “Neither him or that brat of a broken bird!”
Well...she’s not very nice.
“There’s nothing we can do,” Hummingbird said, “wills are generally ironclad legally. We can’t just change it, otherwise we get accused of tampering.”
“To think, that all of this could’ve been avoided of Sparrow had just used her sense.” Robin said, fanning herself with her wing. “If that fool of a stallion hadn’t seduced her, none of this would’ve happened.”
“Hey!” I yelled, coming over. “Don’t talk about my dad like that!”
They all stopped and looked at me. I knew the look, I was a kid, so they felt they had to talk to me differently. I could hear the condescending tone before they even opened their mouths.
Hummingbird was the first to speak up, “So, you are Tailspin, correct?”
“Yeah,” I replied. “And I don’t like you talking down to my dad like that.” I crossed my forelegs to drive home a point.
“Why don’t you run along little colt,” Robin said, condescendingly, “the grownups are talking.”
“I’m not five,” I said. “I’m eleven years old thank you very much, and I also have ears.”
“Now look here you little bra-” Robin began.
“That’s enough,” Hawk said. “Let’s go talk somewhere else, we’ll figure out how to handle this…”
The three pegasi flew away. Good riddance, I can’t believe they would insult Dad like that!
Sure, Dad wasn’t there for a large part of my life, but he loved mom! He didn’t seduce her or anything like that!
Grownups! Sheesh!
“Cousy Tailspin?”
I looked over to see all my little cousins looking at me.
I sighed and put on a cheery mask, “Who want’s to play ride cousin Tailspin in his chair?”
Famous last words…
_____________________________________________________________
Perspective: Private
I sat on one of the benches in the big back yard. Watching Tailspin play with the kids got my mind off everything that happened in the kitchen. I sighed, not one of my best moments.
“This seat taken?”
I looked over to see Aunt Meadowlark smiling at me.
I smiled and scooted over, “Sure, I could use the company.”
She put herself down on the bench next to me, looking at Tailspin with all the fillies. “He’s good with foals, must run in the family.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Hard to believe he was once the same age as one of those kids. They grow up so fast.”
“Indeed,” Meadowlark said with a smile. “Why, I remember a certain young colt who thought it would be a good idea to play in the pudding bowl like it was a bath.”
“Aunt Meadowlark! I was two!” I yelled, thoroughly embarrassed that she brought it up.
“You were a cute little colt, despite what everypony else said,” Meadowlark said with a laugh. “Sparrow was truly lucky to have you.”
“Maybe…”
“Now don’t you get like that.” She said, poking me in the shoulder. “Your mother loved you, and would have died twice over to save you. We can’t fix what happened before, only pick up the pieces and move on.”
“Huh, where did you hear that?” I asked.
“Oh, some colt who was trying to sound smart in front of his daddy.” She said with a grin.
Right, me.
“How is Irenius these days?” She asked.
“Just, trying to make up for lost time.” I said. “You, didn’t object to the relationship did you?”
“Well mostly I didn’t object because I was in my teenaged party girl phase.” Meadowlark said with a laugh. “But, I also believed Sparrow when she said she was in love. I would’ve gladly brought you two in had you asked...granted I probably wouldn’t have been the best guardian.”
“Well yeah, I don’t think Tailspin would have gotten much sleep with bad disco music in his ear.” I said with a laugh.
“Hey, it was in style at the time!”
“It was in style during Grandma’s time.” I said, laughing even harder.
As we both laughed however…
“Hey,” I looked around, “Where’s Aunt Robin and Uncle Hawk?”
“I don’t see Hummingbird either.” Meadowlark said, looking around.
“Where did th-
CRASH!
“That came from inside the house!” I yelled, heading towards the house interior.
I burst my way inside and heard more crashing coming from up the stairs...Grandpa’s room!
I ran up the staris three at a time, and came to find Grandpa’s room was open…
I looked inside to find, Uncle Eagle was sprawled out unconscious on the floor...and the window leading out to the street was open…
I also saw the monitor attached to Grandpa’s tubes was beeping really quickly, Grandpa was breathing way too quickly!
I shook Uncle Eagle, who I noticed now was bleeding slight on the head, a broken vase was lying next to him. “Uggh,” he groaned.
“Somebody hit you on the head!” I said, “Grandpa he’s-”
Eagle got up on his hooves quickly and looked at the monitor. “Oh no…” He picked up a syringe from the ground. “Somebody pumped Tissue Plasminogen Activators into his bloodstream!”
“What?” I asked.
“It’s supposed to stop clots from forming in the blood, but when used too much it could cause a stroke! Give me the anesthetic on the chair over there!” He said quickly.
I did as he asked, and gave him the anesthetic. He used a clean syringe to take the liquid and injected it into Grandpa.
Slowly, his breathing calmed down, and he fell into a slumber. Eagle let out a breath, “I stabilized him, we were lucky…”
“What happened here?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” He said, “I was coming back from the bathroom and..” He felt the blood on the back of his head. “Somepony must’ve hit me on the head…”
“Who could’ve done this…” I asked going for the window. I looked outside around the streets of New Orneigh...when...wait...Grapes? What’s she...no...I don’t think Grapes aged that within the last few months…
__________________________________________________________
Perspective: Twilight
Huh, I wonder who’s knocking on the door so loudly. I left my project at the counter and went towards the front door. Honestly anything to keep me from blowing up the house is very welcome…
I opened the door, “Heart resid-GRAPES?!”
The chocolate brown pony raised an eyebrow in a most familiar way, but… Wait… she’s older, and she’s not a unicorn...
“Why yes, Ah AM one of tha Grapes Family. Apparently ya know some of mah kin,” she said in a distinct New Orneigh accent. “Now Ah don’ mind these here Hearts holdin’ their lil family shindig, but they promised me they’d keep tha moultin’ to their own yard. Tis only neighborly after all. Ah’ve got enough to rake up, what with tha sweetgums, an’ oleander. Ah don’ need pegasus feathers added to tha mix.”
“Wait, are you saying you saw one of the Hearts flying over your yard…?” I asked. The older mare looked me over with a critical eye.
"Did yer extra limbs rob you of your hearin', honey?” she asked in an all too familiar tone. “That's exactly what Ah said."
Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 14 "Hearts of a Feather"
Chapter 4
Perspective: Private
I ran down stairs and saw the strange Grapes lookalike. Twilight was looking shocked at something. I then looked to my wife hurriedly, “Twilight! Somepony tried to kill Grandpa!”
“WHAT!?” Twilight yelled, coming out of her stupor. “Oh, Private this is, uh, actually I didn’t get your name.” She said to the Grapes lookalike.
“Somebody tried ta kill Blue? Now who would go an’ do a nasty thing like that?” the mare asked, looking rather angry. “An’ I’m Muscadine, honey, Muscadine Grapes. An’ you would be tha newest princess, Twilight Sparkle. Was all over tha papers.”
“Uh, yeah, that’s me.” Twilight said, humbly.
“Anyways, what are you doing here miss?” I asked.
Twilight spoke up, “She said she saw a pony coming out the window and flying out to her yard.”
“That I did, honey,” Muscadine said gliding into the house, like royalty on a state visit. “Flew right over my yard, moltin’ feathers like she was a tree in fall. Didn’t rightly recognise tha filly, but her coloration suggested she was a Heart. Hm… If y’all would get one of the young’ans to rake up the feathers out of my yard, I’d greatly appreciate it. In tha meantime, I smell a gumbo that needs to be saved from mediocrity.”
“Wait hold on, do you have one of the feathers?” I asked desperately.
“Yes, Ah do. Had ta bring proof that one of these here Hearts flew over my yard, didn’t I?” Muscadine said, hoofing the feather over. There was no mistaking it…
_____________________________________________________
Perspective: Tailspin
I finally managed to get away from my cousins. They all decided they wanted to play nap and went to sleep under the nearby tree. Honestly, I wanted to play nap as well. Man, this has been a pretty tiring day.
“Tuckered out?” I heard a voice said.
I looked up, Aunt Meadowlark was looking at me, holding...OHMYGOSH COOKIES!!
“One of the few things I can cook right,” She said with a smile, handing me some.
I tried oh so desperately not to seem like a pig and wolfed down all the cookies. Oh my gosh! These were so good! They had to be made from scratch!
Meadowlark kept her smile, “Eat up, there’s plenty I got to get rid of.”
“Thanks Aunt Meadowlark,” I said, smiling gratefully up at her.
“My pleasure... we... haven’t really had the chance to talk,” She said, looking away a little.
“I’m just glad there’s a relative here who isn’t afraid to talk to me or force me to play house,” I said with a sigh.
Meadowlark looked a little uncertain for a sec, then she said, “Tailspin, do you, remember your mother at all?”
I tilted my head, thought real hard, and then said, “Not really, all I remember is kind of an image, and a lot of crying...mostly bro’s…”
A guilty expression came over her face, must be tearing her up to hear about it. She then took a breath and said, “Tailspin, I for one, am not angry at you.”
“Really?” I asked. “Could you tell me about her?”
She smiled again, sitting down in front of me. “Well, your mother was one of the most selfless ponies anypony would ever meet. I remember when I was little, both of us were playing inside and accidentally broke mom’s favorite lamp. It was my fault really, I kicked the ball too hard. But when your grandma came in and asked who did it, I was ready to lie through my teeth about it.”
I listened intently, trying to imagine mom being my age and running around with a young Meadowlark.
“Only I think Sparrow knew about it, so she lied and said she broke the lamp. She then volunteered her allowance in order to repair it. It finally got to the point where I felt so terrible for lying that I told your Grandmother the truth. Suffice to say, I never tried to lie again, at least not while Sparrow’s listening.”
We both laughed a little at the crazy story.
Then my face turned a little serious, “You miss her a lot do you?”
She nodded a little, “Yeah, we all do. She had this nasty habit of worming her way into everypony’s heart and making you want to care. Which is why I see a lot of her in you.”
I smiled at that, glad to know my mother was a great pony...and I was like her...that was awesome!
Meadowlark looked excited again. “Wait till I tell you about the first time your father visited our home. Boy was he sweating bullet-” She stopped as she looked off behind me.
I turned around, there was Aunt Hummingbird, she was looking frazzled, and some leaves were on her suit.
“Hummingbird? Where have you been?” Meadowlark asked. “All of us were going to play pin the tail on the pony.”
“No time, I got to um, head back to the office,” She said, seeming to be in a hurry. “Got some, paperwork to do.”
Before Meadowlark could protest, Private and Twilight burst into the yard, everybody looked at them. Private eyed everypony and said, “Come out and confess, pony who tried to murder my grandfather…”
_____________________________________________________
Perspective: Private Eye
I glared at the gathered ponies as everypony took in what I said. Twilight was at my side, ready to fire a spell if needed.
Uncle Hawk and Aunt Robin came stomping forward. “What’s the meaning of this accusation?!” Robin yelled.
“What are you doing going off about somepony killing dad?!” Hawk yelled.
Before I could yell, Grandma came stomping out, once again adopting her commanding presence. “Everypony calm down, somepony attacked Eagle and tried to murder my husband! I will not stand for it!”
“You seriously expect us to believe his word?!” Hawk yelled. “For all we know, this mutt could be the one responsible!”
“Funny thing about us,” Twilight said, “I have wings, but my husband doesn’t, especially not...these…” She held up the bag containing...a pair of violet feathers. “These were found in the neighbor’s back yard, right near where the window to Blue’s room exits.”
Robin looked to Hawk in horror, “How could you!? He may have been old and deluded! But he was our father!”
“What?!” Hawk yelled, “I didn’t do anything!”
“Your feather matches,” Grandma said. “Both you and Robin have made no secret of your selfish intentions with the will.”
“But I-”
I looked past Uncle Hawk, and saw Hummingbird was…
I quickly did a dna spell, the feathers glowed green...and so did Aunt Hummingbird…
She stopped in her tracks, and looked back at us. “You, can’t seriously believe I-”
“I’m sure if we go up to Grandpa’s room, we’ll find your DNA on what took out Uncle Eagle.” I said firmly.
“Hummingbird,” Meadowlark said, looking at her sister. “You, tried to…”
Hummingbird looked at all of us, “You, all can’t believe him? He’s obviously covering for his own murder! He was the last one to see Father!”
“That would work,” A voice said behind me. I looked to see Grandpa leaning against Uncle Eagle, looking very much alive. Aunt Hummingbird was looking very much shocked, “If’n Ah didn’t see ya stab me with the syringe. That little jolt woke me up enough to see your face…”
“Hummingbird, why,” Meadowlark asked. “Why would you do this?”
Hummingbird’s eye twitched, and her hair started poking out of her perfect bun. “Why? You want to know why? It’s because if anything I deserve whatever this miserable family has made! I’m the one who spent many a sleepless night trying to get and pay for my education! I have doctorates, degrees, everything that counts in the world of the self made mare! But what does Sparrow do to get happiness and fortune? Flash her plot to some rich unicorn bastard!”
“Humming!” Grandma said in shock.
“I did all the real work for this family!” Humming shouted. “While Sparrow got all the attention and praise! Her little happily ever after story should never have happened in the real world! You don’t get to move to the top just by marrying! And now, I’m going to set everything right!”
Suddenly, she grabbed Tailspin as I pulled out Blackhawk and aimed it at her. I could’ve hit her square in the eye, but I couldn’t risk hitting Tailspin.
“You let my brother go!” I yelled.
“It’s because of him that all of us are suffering right?” Humming said, looking unhinged, “If I kill him now, all will be made right, perfect! We won’t have to suffer scorn or shame because this little brat is still breathing!”
“Let me go you witch!” Tailspin yelled, struggling in her grip.
“Oh no, you’re not going anywhere,” She yelled at Grandpa then, “Make a new will! Give me what I rightfully de-”
BONG!
Hummingbird went down like a ton of bricks as Meadowlark slapped her on the head with a gardening shovel. Meadowlark grabbed Hummingbird with her hooves and pinned her sister down. “You don’t GET it do you!? You don’t get to pick who you have as your family! You don’t get to just get rid of what you don’t like! Family is family! Tailspin belongs just as much as you do!”
“Meadow! We can have everything! Just kill the-”
“I’m done listening to you…” Meadowlark punched Aunt Hummingbird in the face. The mare went out cold.
All of us stared at her sudden display of force. She smiled and said, “Well, I didn’t get to be on my school’s softball team just because I was hot.”
I was too busy laughing to even care.
________________________________________________________
The local police arrived to pick up Hummingbird, thankfully I didn’t have Insight hounding on me. Everything was relatively back to normal, nobody was really hurt. I sat at the garden table, Twilight at my side as I talked with Grandma and Grandpa. “We’re, sorry to have caused so much trouble.”
“Don’t you worry none,” Grandpa said, “None of us expected Hummingbird tah fly off like that.”
“Luckily nopony was hurt,” Twilight said with a sigh. “Still, sorry that the reunion became such a hectic hassle.”
“And miss seeing my grandchild in action?” Grandma said with a laugh. “Not a chance.”
“What are they going to do with her?” Grandpa asked.
“They’re gonna put her away for a while, hopefully get her some help. There’s a lot of pent up anger inside her,” I said with a sigh.
“In the meantime,” Grandma said, “You are welcome to enjoy the rest of the reunion.”
“Mind if I do too?”
All four of us looked up as Dad stepped in, beside him was Muscadine Grapes, holding a huge pot of gumbo. Dad walked over, “Miss Muscadine called me up, said there was a reunion I was missing?”
“Hey Dad,” I said, “Wanted to invite you, but we figured with work…”
“Son, I would stand up to Princess Celestia herself and call her fat if it meant I could spend time with my children.” Dad said with a good natured laugh.
Twilight came over and gave dad a hug. “Glad you could make it.”
“So am I, daughter,” He said with a grin.
Grandpa stood and walked over to Dad, looking like he was about to size him up again. “So, ya show up again, fella who stole mah daughter’s sweet little heart.”
Dad gulped, and suddenly I remembered all the times Shining Armor would glare down at me like that. “Hello Father,” Dad said with a nervous smile.
“Ya ain’t ever wrote or nothin,” Grandpa said, “I nearly died today….” he got within inches of Dad’s face. “Without even telling ya…”
Suddenly he pulled Dad into a good natured noogie, “How darn happy I am ya married Sparrow and gave me all these chillins!”
“Uh, you’re welcome, sir,” Dad said, struggling.
Twilight and I laughed our flanks off.
“Now Irenius, I would be sore if you didn’t come in and try Muscadine’s gumbo as well as mine.” Grandma then shouted at Muscadine, “You hear that ya old boat! I’m finally going to win out this year!”
“And WHO is it that has their own restaurant? It ain’t you, honey!” Muscadine said, wagging her hoof at Grandma. “I’m tha one who’s got all tha customers.”
“And who’s the one who helped you attract those customers by letting you hire her daughter?” Grandma snarked back.
“Ugh. That Meadowlark… She still has a loooooong way ta go before she can actually cook somethin’ other than cookies,” Muscadine said with a roll of her eyes. “Ah DON’T give up though. She’s gotta learn how ta cook proper to feed those young’ans. So, our new little ole princess… can’t cook, either? Ah thought you were smart, honey. My niece said so in her last letter.”
“Come on, Irenius, I’ll show you some real cooking.” Grandma said, dragging Dad away.
Grandpa then looked at me. “There’s, still the matter of the will.”
“Grandpa,” I said, “to be honest, I don’t want the inheritance.”
“But, that’s-” Grandpa said.
“I don’t need a house in New Orneigh, honestly just being here with you guys is all I really needed. I’m just happy some of you actually care. If you want to give your house and stuff, give it to Meadowlark, she’s the one who needs the money raising a bunch of foals.”
Grandpa smiled at me. “You’re mo’ like ya mother than I ever could’a hoped. Alright, Ah’ll give it to her, but Ah still got a few years of kickin’ yet. Ya ain’t gonna lose me dat easy.”
“I hope not.” I said with a smile.
“Now, Ah’m gonna try to sneak some cake while your grandma ain’t noticin.” He said, sneaking off.
Twilight smiled at me, “That was really kind of you.”
“I was being honest,” I replied, “I didn’t need the house, honestly all I need is Tailspin and you, I can live anywhere after that.”
“After my own heart I see…” She said, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
“Eeeewww” A chorus of fillies said.
Twilight and I looked over at the fillies, Tailspin’s playmates were obviously looking for a new vi-I mean, playmate.
“Why hello all of you.” Twilight said with a smile.
“Are you weally a pwincess?” One of the younger ones said.
“Yes I am, Twilight,” Twilight said, bending down to their level. “Do you all wanna play?”
“Play with Pwincess!” They cheered, grabbing Twilight's forelegs and dragging her away. I smiled and waved after her.
Dad came out of the kitchen, coming to sit back with me. “I managed to get away, your Grandmother is so easy to get away from once she’s cooking,” he said with a laugh.
“Glad you could come,” I said with a smile. “What a day it’s been.”
“To think, in a couple of years I went from not coming to these at all, to witnessing my son, his wife, and my other son attending. So much has changed, all of it for the better.” He said with a smile.
“Glad too,” I said, sighing. “But I’ll be ready to take a long nap after this.”
“And speaking of changes,” Dad said, and looked at me sternly, “Where are my grandchildren?”
DAD!!
Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 14 "Hearts of a Feather"
Epilogue
Perspective: Private
It was pretty late when the reunion started to wrap up. Dad had gone home already and took Tailspin with him, it was almost the little guy’s bedtime anyways. I was upstairs with Grandpa and Grandma.
Grandma looked to me. “Now, are ya sure you don’t want anyt’ing?”
I shook my head. “I don’t need anything grandma. I got my family, my friends, I don’t need a house or home so long as I have that.”
Grandpa chuckled a little. “Well, seems ya turned out alright anyways. Really wish you could stick around some mo’,” he said with a smile.
“You take good care of yourself you hear?” Grandma said. “Sparrow would haunt me for the rest of my days if anything happened to you.”
“I can’t make any promises, given my life choice. But, I’ll try to keep myself safe.” I said with my own smile, then I looked to Grandpa, “You just focus on getting healthy again.”
“I will. Thankfully without one of my daughters tryin’ ta kill me I should be right as rain,” Grandpa joked.
“Do come by to visit though,” Grandma said, hugging me. “I don’t want us to be apart for so long ever again.”
“I’ll come by Grandma, I promise,” I said, hugging back.
“Hopefully the next time, you’ll bring over some young’ans of ya own,” Grandpa said with a laugh.
“GRANDPA!” I groaned.
Grandma tried not to laugh as she let me go. I went downstairs and...WHA!?
Twilight sat there, a look of supreme patience on her face. Her face was a blobby mess of make-up, in the style that kids thought of as “grown-up”. Twilight’s lips were painted bright red, her cheeks coated with blush, and her eyes were lined and painted with shadow that they looked like a raccoon’s eyes rather than her own.
“Twilight, what in Celestia’s name happened to you?” I asked, panicked.
Suddenly, Twilight started smiling wide. “I got roped into a makeover with your little cousins! They were so adorable!”
“You, had fun with them?” I asked, kind of shocked.
“I did, it was really great, and I finally decided.”
“Decided what?” I asked, nervously.
“I want a filly.”
____________________________________________________
Several Miles away…
“Love? Do you hear that?”
“Sounds Like Private’s scream…”
“...and we heard it from the dream realm?”
“Oh well tis not important, shall we return to reenacting Ancient Roam?”
“Ah yes, you were about to have us, negotiate the release of prisoners”
“Oh yes Tenny, come, ‘Negotiate’ a little longer.”
“You do have about a thousand years of pent upness to handle”
“Shut thy mouth and kiss me”
“I love it when thou talketh dirty….”
___________________________________________________________
Perspective:???
“I was so close sir! Really I was! Everything was going perfectly!”
“Until you decided to threaten the crippled colt. That was not smart in the least bit.”
“Please! I only wanted to put my family on the right path! I only wanted-”
“Yes, revenge, as do we all, you filthy chicken. But the fact of the matter is, you were too early in your performance. You rushed towards the endgame when you should’ve bided your time, and waited.”
“Just give me another chance! I swear I’ll end-”
“You, Hummingbird, are the latest in a long line of failures to fulfill the plan. Mandarin, Hoity Toity, even Prince Blueblood himself have all failed in their schemes thanks to that miserable detective. My patience wore thin years ago, and now I hardly have time to deal with excuses.”
“I have lawyers! I have connections! I’ll destroy them I’ll-”
“You think that our plan will commence with some legal separation? Or some arrest or smear campaign? No, our plan requires Private, himself, to take the fall, completely and utterly. We just need to find the right moment to, push…”
“You, are being awfully forward and trusting about giving this information sir…”
“So it seems that education wasn’t wasted on you, chicken. The exact reason for why I am so forthcoming, I’m not going to answer. But my dear friend probably will. I should warn you though, she is quite... eccentric.”
“Eccentric...what are you talking abo-”
“Goodbye Hummingbird…”
“WAIT! NO! YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME IN HERE! NOT WIT-”
“.....In and out...goes the knife… ”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!”
________________________________________________________________
Perspective: ???
“Come and sit down dear, we have much to talk about.”
“If you’re sure, Miss Line, I wasn’t expecting to talk to you to be honest.”
“A bit of introvert you say you are?”
“More like not willing to spill my guts to a complete stranger.”
“You always did have a way with words. You are having trouble fitting in at school?”
“Yeah, doesn’t help I’m-”
“A batpony yes, and not one native to the homeland, you are truly a rare one.”
“Yeah, rare alright, maybe putting me on the endangered species list will keep the jerks off me.”
“Maybe if you just had a better outlet, something to spread your-”
“Miss, can I be frank?”
“Sure if yo-”
“Do you think I’m an idiot?”
“Excuse me?”
“I’ve heard all this bullcrap before, in fact, you say it so often, I can’t help but wonder if it’s rehearsed.”
“Now young man I-”
“In fact, I would hazard a guess, it kind of is, as you say these lines so often to the other students that come in here.”
“But how-the doors are shut!”
“Batpony ears remember?”
“Young man, you shouldn’t go around accusing adults like that.”
“Just because I’m two years shy of an adult, doesn’t make me not able to notice a few things. Not just the rehearsed lines, but also the fact that not a lot of ponies remem-”
“I think it’s time you started, forgetting a few things…”
“So, you’re going to do to me what you did to the others huh? Don’t think I didn’t hear that too.”
“You’re always sticking your nose into things, just like a certain miserable classmate of mine.”
“You mean Private E-”
“Enough! Now hold sti-”
“How about no?”
CRASH! ZAP! SLAM!
“Don’t think this over!”
“Over? I’m just getting started! I will find out what you’re doing to those students!”
“EVENSTAR YOU GET BACK HERE!!!”