No Plan Survives Contact

“Tooom!”

Twilight watched dispassionately as the tiny rock figure beat against the glass jar. Normally, she might have been sympathetic, but after the creature’s rampage, it was taking a fair bit of self-control to not shake the jar.

Maud, on the other hoof, seemed to have no such emotional hangups and tilted the jar from side to side as she carefully examined the tiny prisoner.

“My initial analysis suggests that Tom’s composition is ninety-eight percent granite, one half percent wood, and one point five percent electrical equipment, including one tenth of a speaker. The magical composition is a bit more layered and complex. Difficult to get a read on-”

“-because granite is notoriously fickle when it comes to holding magic,” finished Twilight. “Do you have any idea how long he’s going to last?”

With deliberate care, Maud turned the jar upside-down, the rock creature within letting out a squeak as its head impacted the lid. “It’s a she.”

Twilight took a moment to process that information. Deciding that she didn’t really want to know how Maud had come to that conclusion, Twilight rephrased her question. “Okay, how long is she going to last?”

“The magical absorption field appears to be active and continuously absorbing magic. The damage I inflicted earlier from shaking the jar is already repairing itself. As long as she has a constant source of magic, it should sustain her just fine.”

“Is it...ya know...gonna get big again?” asked Applejack cautiously.

“No,” said Maud immediately. “The granite core was shattered. It can only sustain a small amount of mass.”

Twilight let out a sigh of relief. One less headache to worry about. Of course, that just left the question of what to do with him...her.

“Have you given her a name?” asked Maud suddenly.

Twilight blinked. “Excuse me?”

“A name. A designation. A combination of letters and phonemes to signify-”

“Yes Maud, I know what a name is. Why does it need one?”

“To distinguish it from other rocks.”

Twilight held Maud’s gaze for a long moment. There wasn’t a trace of humor in her eyes. “I’m pretty sure he...she already has a name. She’s been saying it nonstop ever since she was created.”

“Tom is a poor name for a rock,” said Maud dismissively. “You should try for something more nuanced.”

Twilight let out an exasperated sigh. “Okay...what would you recommend?”

Bringing her muzzle forward, Maud bit the cork and popped it free from the bottle before dumping the rock creature out onto the desk where it collapsed into a pile before reforming and facing the stoic earth pony. To Twilight’s surprise, she remained still as she was examined.

“Pebble,” said Maud after a moment.

“Tom!”

“She doesn’t like Pebble. How about Stone?”

“Tom!”

“Diamond?”

“Tom!”

“Steel?”

“Tom!”

“Basalt?”

“Tom!”

Watching the scene with the same morbid curiously as Twilight, Applejack moved closer to where she was laying on the bed. “Can she actually understand that thing, or is she just messing with us?”

“She’s from the Pie family. It’s probably a bit of both,” murmured Twilight.

“Quartz?”

“Tom!”

“Ruby?”

“Tom!”

“Emerald?”

“Tom!”

“How about Tom?” interrupted Twilight.

There was a brief pause as both Maud and the golem turned to look at her.

“...Tom.”

“Tom says she likes that name.”

Feeling a twitch in her eye, Twilight took a calming breath. “Maud, would you be so kind as to keep an eye on Tom for me? Make sure she doesn’t get into trouble?”

“Sure,” said Maud with a nod. “Boulder could use a new friend. He doesn’t get out much.” Setting the glass jar on its side, Maud gestured to it, her eyes fixated on Tom.

“Tom!” In response, the tiny rock figure crossed its arms and looked away. With a loud thump, Maud’s hoof came down on the table, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly. A second later, Tom was secured in the jar once more and placed in Maud’s pouch.

“Ya reckon she coulda just talked ‘em down if we called her earlier?” asked Applejack once the other earth pony had departed.

“Maybe. I’ll be sure to send her a message the next time an animated rock golem is terrorizing Ponyville.”

Applejack chuckled nervously. “Ya think there’s gonna be a next time? Mah farm can only take so much.”

“No, there won’t be,” said Twilight flatly. “Discord, get your scaly flank out here!”

Almost immediately, a zipper appeared in the air, slowly unsealing from the other side. Applejack got a brief glimpse into the void before Discord stepped through. “Now now, I know this looks bad, but hear me out.”

Silence followed, with both Applejack and Twilight staring at him. “Well?” asked Twilight finally.

“You mean...you’re actually going to hear me out?”

“Yes Discord,” said Twilight flatly. “Please inform me as to why you unleashed a semi-sentient rock golem onto an unsuspecting Ponyville. I promise to try and keep an open mind.”

“Unsuspecting? Why Princess, Ponyville couldn’t have been better prepared. You evacuated the town flawlessly. Minimal property damage, too.”

“Discord...”

“It was a simple rock in my junk drawer, I swear!” he protested, putting up his paw and claw in a placating gesture. “It was a bit of Spring cleaning. I wasn’t trying to cause trouble...this time.”

Twilight stared at him for a long moment, her eyes narrowing as she saw a halo form above his head. “I believe you,” she said finally, “but that doesn’t absolve you of blame.”

Discord sighed. “Fine, I shall help with the cleanup.” A snap of his claw and a maid outfit and headdress appeared over his body.

“And?” Twilight asked, drawing the word out.

“And I’ll keep the houses right side up. Ugh, you’re becoming more like Celestia every day. And not in a beautiful big-flanked way, either.”

With a final snap, Discord vanished, all save for his disembodied paw which took a moment to zip up the zipper to the void before vanishing as well.

Applejack let out a low whistle. “Since when did you get the clout to order him around?”

“It’s just a matter of picking my battles,” confessed Twilight. “Let him get away with just enough so he’s more willing to reign himself in when things get serious.”

Letting out a groan, Twilight stretched her wings and hooves before turning to her bedside and taking a sip of the drink Applejack had provided. “Thanks for sticking with me. I haven’t felt this drained in a while. Come to think of it though, where’s Spike?”

Applejack grinned. “I dunno. Little guy is smart though. Maybe he can read the mood?”

The stern facade Twilight had been maintaining cracked slightly, a hint of red appearing on her muzzle before she turned away. “I’m still in recovery you know...”

There was a small creak as Twilight’s bed was suddenly taking the weight of two ponies. Surprised, she turned back to see her friend laying beside her, hat off and mane undone with a distinct piece of jewelry around her neck. “Applejack...”

“You look plenty energetic to me, Twi, and this ain’t gonna take one bit of magic.”

Twilight’s mind raced as Applejack’s mouth moved closer, her strong body gently pressing into hers while a hoof slid along her neck to tilt her head upward. Several things became clear to Twilight, such as how nice Applejack looked without her hat, how strong and firm her body felt against her sides and stomach, and how passionate and honest her eyes were.

When her lips finally pressed against her own, the doubts and nervous feelings seemed to melt away, leaving behind only the pleasure and gentle passion of the moment, and a single thought overshadowing all the others.

Buck it...why not?

Her mouth opened, a soft moan escaped, and soon Twilight was eagerly returning Applejack’s kiss.

Spike was sure that he wasn’t falling, but that didn’t quite assuage the feelings of vertigo as the world shifted around him, moving rapidly in a swirl of colors until it finally settled into place. Slightly dizzy, he tried to take a step, relieved to feel something at least resembling solid ground beneath his feet.

“Try to remain calm,” came Luna’s voice, nearly making him stumble as she appeared next to him without warning. “Do not focus on anything in particular. We are in a place where your subconscious thoughts define our surroundings.”

“Easy for you to say, you do this all the time!” accused Spike, grabbing onto her for support.

Around them, the swirling mass of shapes began to take on a more solid form. At first, it seemed like nothing more than a simple cave, but slowly more features came into focus. Posters faded in on the rocky walls, crystals began to form along the ceiling, and mighty tree roots began to break through the stones.

As the rumbling faded, Spike slowly let go of Luna’s foreleg, looking at the scenery with wide eyes. “This is my subconscious?”

“Correct,” said Luna with a nod. “A vague manifestation of your thoughts and desires. Whenever a pony has a problem, I have often found it expedient to search here first.”

“But...why a cave? I like my tree-house room,” protested Spike.

“It is simply how you view where you live. Subconsciously, you might think that dragons are ‘supposed’ to live in caves, and thus you have taken to looking at the library as your version of a cave,” she explained.

“Huh.” Unsure of how to respond, Spike took a moment to examine the posters. “So...how does this work? Do you just...read my mind?”

“Hardly. You must simply think on what is troubling you and this place will give it shape.”

Spike hesitated, suddenly unsure of himself, but trying not to think of his problems only made him think of them all the more. Behind him, a rock wall suddenly collapsed, making him jump. Turning towards the brightly lit opening, Spike’s mouth opened in shock. Cheeks red, he turned back to Luna. “I...um...I mean...”

“Please be calm,” said Luna with a smile. “These sorts of things are perfectly natural, and nothing I see shall ever pass my lips in the waking world.”

“Still kinda embarrassing,” mumbled Spike as he turned back to the opening.

In sharp contrast to the cave around them, the scene playing out through the hole was brightly lit, clearly outdoors, and on a beach of some sort. On a folding chair was Spike, lounging back while flanked on either side by two unicorns, their horns glowing as they took turns feeding him gems.

Hesitantly, Spike turned back to Luna, but there wasn’t a hint of judgment in her eyes, merely curiosity as she watched Spike’s mental image of himself being fawned over by Rarity and Twilight. “Your mental projection appears to be older than your physical self.”

“Ah...well, I mean...”

“Why do you choose to remain in your younger form if you see it as an obstacle to your desires?”

Spike’s mouth closed suddenly, but even though he couldn’t find the words, his mind was already providing the answer. Wincing as he heard another wall crumbling away, Spike turned to face what he’d been dreading.

“You’re not my Spikey-Wikey!”

“A big, mean, nasty, fire-breathing dragon?!”

“Just smash it already!”

“Everypony run!”

“It’s...complicated,” said Spike finally.

“Is it?” asked Luna. “You seem fearful of how ponies might see you as an older dragon based on their past experiences, and you are worried that becoming an adult will cause you to lose control over your sense of self as before.”

Spike groaned. “Okay, maybe it’s not complicated, but it’s not easy!”

“Facing your own shortcomings is never easy,” agreed Luna. “And we know all too well the perils one can face when confronting one’s darker side.”

Spike sighed, sitting down next to Luna as he watched the scenes of fear and terror play out. “It’s just...I have it really good in Ponyville, you know? Great friends, a decent job, and...”

He hesitated again, trying to find the words, but his subconscious was already moving ahead of his mouth. A flash of Twilight reading to him while sick. A late night with Rarity, helping her fill an order while the two of them laughed and talked with each other. Several more moments in time, all filled with warmth and affection.

“And you do not wish to jeopardize what you have by trying for something more,” concluded Luna as the last of the images faded and the rocks shifted back into place.

Spike sighed, nodding even as he avoided her gaze. Luna within the dreamworld was far more direct, succinct, and on point than he’d been prepared for. A far cry from her real world self. Maybe she was still learning about the modern era, but emotional problems like these were probably common even a thousand years ago.

“It’s not like my race has set the best example, either,” grumbled Spike, various walls falling away to show his ‘interactions’ with his kind.

“How long have you been with Twilight?” asked Luna suddenly.

Spike thought for a moment. “Since I hatched. Almost nineteen years now.”

“And do you truly believe Twilight will forget all of those years simply because you’re a bit larger and older looking?”

“W-well no, but Rarity-”

“Where do you wish to be in five years time? Will you remain Twilight’s baby dragon forever? If you wish to ever be seen as more, it is on you to show them,” concluded Luna, her hoof coming down hard against the stone ground, all of the openings in the stone sealing back up.

A ringing silence followed her declaration before being broken by Spike. “Easy enough to say...”

“Have faith in your friends, young Spike. Your caretaker is the Princess of Friendship and one who has been your friend for a very long time.”

“But what if I get rejected?”

“If you confess your feelings, things will change,” interrupted Luna. “Such change can be good or ill, but change will be inevitable. However, if you do nothing, things will still change and you will not be a part of that change.”

Spike let his head fall back onto the ground, his eyes looking towards the ceiling. Even there though, he couldn’t escape the images playing through the cave walls, showcasing Twilight’s spectacular failure of a romantic evening and Rarity’s several disastrous dates. “You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know, but now Twilight has more company than she can manage and Rarity seems set on joining her.”

“And you?” asked Luna suddenly.

“Me?” Spike coughed, suddenly blushing as his traitorous mind provided the image of an amethyst collar around his neck. “Is that allowed? I mean-”

“Nothing within the law states anything about species. Merely that they must be able to take and receive the binding vow and consummate their relationship. Both are tasks I believe you are more than capable of.”

“W-well yes, but...hey don’t look!” Panicked, Spike tried to jump in front of Luna’s view, not even having to look to know which memory was being revealed now.

Luna simply stared at him.

“Yeah, yeah, you’ve seen it a thousand times. That doesn’t make me feel any better!”

“There is more to love, affection, and pleasure than just the size of your equipment, young Spike,” said Luna calmly. “And there is much more to relationships than lovemaking.”

“But if I can’t measure up to a stallion...”

“None of that has impeded the efforts of Rainbow Dash or the Wonderbolts. Why should it stop you?”

Spike opened his mouth to respond, but words failed him. Even his subconscious was silent.

“If you still feel as though it will impede you, then perhaps you should see it as further incentive to shed your younger form.”

“You keep saying that like it’s something I can just turn on and off,” said Spike irritably. “I only did it one time on accident and that was triggered by greed. You know, the bad kind of greed?”

“It was greed that triggered your magic, much in the same way that fear and panic triggered Twilight’s magical outburst that hatched your egg so many years ago,” corrected Luna. “That does not mean the magic is your enemy.”

More images manifested around the cavern as Spike considered the possibilities, but he was barely paying attention to them. “Can you show me?” he asked finally.

Luna smiled. “As a matter of fact, yes. And this dreamscape is the ideal place to practice.”

For almost ten minutes now, Trixie had been sitting in silence, twitching and fidgeting as the Princess of Love continuously walked around her with a quill and a clipboard, occasionally scratching out a few unseen notes. She hadn’t said a word or even asked a question since she’d pulled Trixie into the hotel room, but it was hard not to feel like those light purple eyes were seeing straight through her.

When the princess finally spoke, Trixie nearly jumped from her seat in surprise.

“B minus.”

“I...what?”

“It’s your grade. Your compatibility with Twilight and possible overall contribution to her marem.”

Comprehension dawned. “How...absurd! Trixie demands to know how you arrived at such a conclusion!”

“I’m glad you asked.” Flipping over several pages on her clipboard and clearing her throat, Cadance began to read. “Your appearance is well maintained and cared for, as is standard for anypony in show business. Mane, tail, coat, and flank all make A-grade.”

“Oh, well of course-”

“However,” continued Cadance over her, “your pseudo-rivalry still has a lot of unresolved sexual tension, and most of Ponyville, Twilight’s base of operations, has a less than favorable opinion of you.”

“Trixie supposes that can’t be helped...”

“Furthermore, you appreciate being at the center of attention, have a difficult time admitting when you’re wrong, are attracted to dangerous artifacts-”

“That was one time!”

“-and you constantly seek shortcuts to power. All of that hurts your final grade.”

Trixie fought back her reflexive protest and focused on the other burning question on her mind. “You could tell that from a simple walk-around?”

“Yes, much in the same way that I can tell your fetishes include bondage, mild humiliation and degradation play, natural and magical hypnosis, role-playing and...” Cadance took a long breath, seemingly enjoying the surprised look on Trixie’s face, “...you still have something extra from that time with the alicorn amulet.”

With a squeak and a blush, Trixie crossed her hind legs, glaring daggers at Cadance. “H-how?”

“Do you really need to ask? I’ll give you a hint. It has a little something to do with my title.”

Embarrassed, Trixie looked away from Cadance’s probing gaze. “Trixie has not had time to seek out a proper counterspell.”

“Really? Or is it more that you haven’t wanted to seek out a counterspell? You seem to have adapted well enough.”

“Trixie has...enjoyed some parts of the change,” she admitted quietly. “How does it affect Trixie’s final grade?”

“It doesn’t, but a marem always works best with variety, even though I’m sure Twilight already knows the spell herself. I’ve used it plenty of times.”

Trixie blinked. “You mean, with Shining?”

“Of course. It feels much more natural than a strap-on, and he makes such adorable noises. He’s like his sister in that way.”

“How do you-”

“That’s not important right now,” interrupted Cadance. “We’re talking about you. Specifically about how you’re the type who would monopolize Twilight’s attention and be an overall drain on her energy.”

“That seems awfully presumptuous...”

“Is it?” asked Cadance with that all-knowing smile. “You thrive at the center of attention, have a dominant personality, and a pseudo-rivalry with my sister that’s very likely to escalate into passionate, angry sex in the bedroom.”

Trixie stared at Cadance, open mouthed. “I um...I mean...Trixie may have had a few fantasies.”

“Oh don’t play coy with me, Love is my domain,” said Cadance, putting a very clear emphasis on the L-word. “And there’s something there. Something beneath all of your ego and desires. Some hint of genuine affection, although I don’t quite know why.”

“You don’t?” asked Trixie, genuinely surprised. “You’ve been able to tell everything else about Trixie.”

“I’m not a mind reader,” corrected Cadance. “I can read your emotions like a book, but determining the spark that ignited those emotions is a bit more difficult. To my understanding, you’ve only met twice before today.”

“Four times,” corrected Trixie.

“Oh? What was the third meeting about?”

“That’s rather private...”

“Having a genuine emotional connection can only improve your grade.”

“As if something as shallow as a letter grade would be enough to sway the Great and Powerful Trixie!” she retorted with a scoff.

Cadance simply stared at her. Trixie blinked. “It was shortly after the incident with the Ursa Minor. Upon learning that it was Snips and Snails who had woken up the beast, Twilight sought Trixie out to make amends and...help repair Trixie’s cart.”

“And yet you still decided to put on a cursed amulet and run her out of town?”

“That was not Trixie’s intention! All Trixie wanted to do was improve her own magic!”

Nodding, Cadance raised her clipboard and made another note. “Relax, I’m not going to penalize you too much for what you do under the influence of cursed artifacts. Tell me about your next meeting.”

Trixie huffed slightly, but didn’t fight the point. “Our second meeting was after another of my shows in Carbon Creek a few weeks after the...incident.” For a brief moment, Trixie paused, looking worriedly around the hotel room.

Cadance blinked. “What are you waiting for?”

“Just...checking to see if that bothersome pink pony is around. As Trixie was saying...”

Trixie cursed as she looked between her hind legs, a bright blush on her face even as her horn glowed in an attempt to counter the surprisingly complex and powerful spell. It had been a small miracle that she hadn’t been exposed on stage with how suddenly it returned, but thanks to her cloak and a quick illusion spell, she’d avoided disaster.

Now if only the damned thing would go away! Focused on her task, the sudden knock on her door nearly made her jump out of bed. Cutting off the spell, Trixie glared at the door and raised her voice. “No well-wishers at this hour, please! The Great and Powerful Trixie requires her rest!”

“Trixie? It’s Twilight. I promise I won’t take too much of your time.”

The showmare bit back her immediate retort, hesitating as she looked from the door to the space between her legs. “This is not exactly the best time.”

“It’s kind of important,” said Twilight urgently. “I was reading about the Alicorn Amulet and I discovered some side effects that might persist even after being removed.”

Trixie was silent for several seconds before finally responding. “What kind of side effects?”

“Um...fluctuations in magic, lingering emotional instability, and persistent transformations.”

Another long silence passed. “What sorts of transformations?”

“Trixie is something wrong?” asked Twilight, her voice slightly exasperated.

“...Trixie may have a sm- err, moderate problem.”

“I’m coming inside.”

With a squeak, the showmare quickly threw her blanket over her barrel right before Twilight entered. “Trixie has changed her mind. She has not been experiencing any side effects whatsoever!”

Twilight gave her a funny look. “You know, some of these side-effects are pretty severe.”

“What?”

Withdrawing a scroll from her saddlebags, Twilight began to read. “Exploding from magical overload, disintegration, excruciating magical pain that can put you into a coma, complete metamorphosis into a being of nightmares-”

“Alright! Do your stupid tests!” shouted Trixie finally.

“Thank you,” said Twilight, rolling up the scroll. “Trixie, I can’t examine you through a blanket.”

“Fine! But if you breathe a word of this to anypony-”

“Trixie, do you want your beauty rest or not?” snapped Twilight.

With a glare, Trixie grabbed the edge of her blanket and threw it aside.

Twilight blinked, staring between Trixie’s hind legs. “So you...gave yourself a-”

“A stallionhood, yes,” said Trixie irritably. “I thought I was rid of it when the amulet was removed, but...”

“Do you know why you gave yourself...that?” asked Twilight curiously, finally moving her gaze back to Trixie’s eyes.

“Trixie felt the need to compete with Twilight on every level. That included possessing and pleasing her own five-pony marem, too.”

“Five pony...you mean...Trixie, we’re just friends!”

“Trixie didn’t say her thinking was reasonable!”

Silence followed the outburst, the two mares keeping their gazes locked with one another. “I’m going to start my examination now.”

“Trixie believes this is wise.”

For a minute, the only sound inside the cart was the gentle hum of Twilight’s magic and the occasional scratch of a quill against paper. It was clear to Trixie that she was making a concentrated effort to remain professional, and for the most part, she was succeeding.

“So how does Trixie compare to other stallions?”

Twilight choked, the quill nearly dropping to the floor before she caught it, wielding it like a small missile as she nearly jabbed it against Trixie’s grinning muzzle. “First of all, we’re not on stage. Feel free to use pronouns. Second, how the ever loving buck would I know that?”

“Because you’re a princess now.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Clearly you have admirers now and don’t lack for companionship,” Trixie pointed out as though it were obvious. “Or at least a consort or two.”

Twilight stared at her. “You seriously think that...you know what? Never mind. I’m not that kind of princess. You’ve probably had way more experience with that than I have.”

“Hmph. Hardly. I’ve always preferred mares over stallions,” said Trixie with a scoff. “Even so, I assumed you would have looked through a book about the subject.”

Twilight fought to control a twitch in the corner of her eye. “You’re above average. Now shut up and let me finish.”

A few minutes later, Twilight withdrew two vials from her bags, lighting up the interior of Trixie’s cart for a brief moment as she enchanted them. “Well, aside from the...extra growth, there’s nothing wrong with you. Just take one of these vials tonight and the second two days from now and you should be just fine.”

“Trixie...appreciates the assistance,” said the showmare slowly.

“You’re welcome,” replied Twilight honestly. “Just try to stay away from cursed artifacts in the future, will you?”

“Trixie can agree to this.”

“And you didn’t take the potion?” concluded Cadance.

“Trixie took the first!” she snapped. “But...after which, it became easier to hide herself and-”

“No need to justify yourself so long as you feel comfortable with it,” interrupted Cadance with a raised hoof. “Now let’s see it.”

“What?!”

“Twilight gave you a medical examination, now I’m going to give you a practical one.”

“Absolutely not!”

“If you’re going to be using that magically grown member on my sister, the least you can do is make sure it’s completely safe,” chided Cadance, completely straight faced. “And I know quite a bit more about this subject than Twilight.”

“Trixie...can’t find fault with that reasoning as such...”

“There’s no need to be shy. I am a love professional, and I’d never get in the way of your lewd fantasies towards my sister-in-law.”

“Trixie does not find this very reassuring!”

“And I’ve already placed silencing spells around the room and a privacy ward on the door so we will not be disturbed.”

Trixie gulped.

Spike let out a small groan as he shook himself awake. Unlike every other time he’d slept, he was feeling more tired than before. “I feel exhausted.”

“Tis only natural. Sleep is meant to relax the mind as well as the body, and lengthy, lucid dreaming can tax the untrained mind.”

Spike turned his head, examining the alicorn resting beside him. “I don’t feel any bigger.”

“That is because you are not,” said Luna simply. “You must do what we practiced in the real world now.”

Slowly, the young dragon sat up, one hand moving to rub his head while the other braced against Luna for support. “Later,” he decided.

“Now then, young Spike, would you say I have fulfilled my end of our agreement?”

Spike hesitated a moment before realization dawned. “Oh, right, the recommendation. Hey, why do you want to compete with Cadance anyways? Isn’t this kind of her thing?”

Luna turned her head upwards with a ‘hmph’. “Just because she embodies love does not mean she has exclusive rights to it.”

“Oh...kay, but why fight over it? Isn’t this whole marem business kinda silly?”

“Because I refuse to be upstaged by her one more time!”

Spike stared at her, eyes wide, but Luna continued undaunted.

“Ponies used to come to me with their fears and desires. I gave much counsel on matters of the mind and heart, only to find even that had been forgotten in my...”

“Imprisonment?”

“Absence,” finished Luna with a glare. “I wish to show the ponies of Equestria that I am capable of providing the counsel today that I once did, and not just within dreams.”

“That seems like a crazy leap of logic,” said Spike cautiously.

“You came here to see Cadance did you not?” asked Luna pointedly, “And now that you have my advice, do you still wish to seek Cadance’s aid?”

Spike quickly shook his head. “No, no, your advice was good...but didn’t you technically give it to me in a dream anyways?”

Luna’s eyes narrowed. Spike gulped.

Trixie groaned as she staggered out of Cadance’s hotel room, her hat bunched up and her cloak full of creases. “B plus?” she muttered beneath her breath. “Trixie has never suffered through so much injustice for so little!”

Focused on her dark mutterings and exaggerated thoughts of revenge, Trixie missed the sound of a door opening next to her, revealing a young purple dragon who seemed equally distracted, right up until the two collided and were knocked to the ground.

“Trixie would appreciate it if she could suffer in p- Spike?”

Rubbing his head, the young dragon blinked and looked Trixie over. “Uh...yeah, how many other purple dragons are there in Ponyville, Trixie?”

“Trixie knew of one, but he was smaller and didn’t run into mares without apologizing,” she snapped.

“Oh, right, sorry. I...wait, did you say bigger?”

“Yes. Trixie recalls you as barely the size of her foreleg, and now you are looking Trixie in the eye, are you not?”

“Huh...it really did work,” murmured Spike, slowly moving his hand from the top of his forehead towards Trixie’s head to compare their sizes.

Annoyed, Trixie quickly grabbed Spike’s wrist with her magic and pulled it away. “If you will excuse me, Trixie needs to find accommodations for the evening.”

Shaking his hand free of the magical grip, Spike gave her an apologetic look. “Don’t you have a cart?”

“Smashed to pieces.”

“Again?”

“Yes, but Trixie made sure to insure herself this time.”

“Well...you’re in a hotel right now.”

“Trixie plans to give this place a wide berth.”

“Why?”

“Privacy concerns.”

“Oh.” Spike was silent for a moment before turning and falling into step beside the pony, trying not to marvel too much about not having to jog to keep up with her. “So what are you doing here anyways? I don’t think Ponyville is ready for another one of your shows.”

“As if Trixie would waste her time and talent putting on another show for these small town hecklers. Trixie is here for Twilight.”

Spike stared at her. “You mean the marem thing?”

“Hardly. Trixie is simply here to repay Twilight for her help in removing the Alicorn Amulet,” she corrected.

“And you’re going to do this by joining-”

“By helping my rival preserve her status as Princess.”

“Uh huh,” said Spike doubtfully. “Lifetime of servitude seems like a bit of an extreme repayment.”

“Trixie would have spent an eternity in service to that cursed amulet.”

Spike’s eyes narrowed. “And sleeping with her is just a bonus?”

“Trixie will not deny this.”

Spike let out a small groan. “Seriously? Is there like...anyone in Ponyville who doesn’t want to be a part of this?”

“If that were the case, why has she not completed her marem already?” asked Trixie. “It seems to me that Twilight will need all the help Trixie can offer.”

Twilight had entertained more than a few fantasies about Applejack in the past, and in those fantasies, she had never imagined her as anything other than straightforward and direct. The reality was far from disappointing.

From the very first moment, Applejack took the top and took control, pushing her hind legs to either side and settling against her belly, nipping and kissing along her neck and pressing her strong forehooves against her sides. This close, Twilight could feel the strength in Applejack’s body, both natural and magical.

When those strong hooves turned to her wings, the press behind the massage made Twilight gasp in unexpected pleasure. Applejack simply chuckled, placing another kiss on Twilight’s cheek. “Beggin’ yer pardon, Princess. It’s easy to forget how squishy unicorns are.”

Twilight huffed. “I’m not squishy, I’m padded. I’m also part Earth Pony now.”

“So what yer sayin’ is, I shouldn’ take it easy on ya just ‘cause yer a princess,” concluded Applejack with a sly smile. “If yer sure...”

“I’m sure,” said Twilight quickly, failing to hide her blush.

Gently, Applejack raised a hoof to her head, drawing her face upwards, and then she began to kiss in earnest, boldly pushing her tongue into Twilight’s mouth and wrestling hers down. Her forehooves slid back to her sides as well, exerting pressure near her wings and rubbing hard, drawing out a few gasps as she found several points of tension along her body.

When Applejack finally broke the kiss, Twilight was already panting for breath. “Like that?” murmured the farm pony, nibbling on her ear. “I may not be a fancy froo-froo massage pony, but I know how to help somepony relax after a hard day’s work.”

Twilight couldn’t help but agree. Where Rainbow and the Wonderbolts had taken expert care of her wings, Applejack was doing something similar to the rest of her body, with her hooves digging in deep and bringing her to an increasingly relaxed state.

Despite her increasing lethargy though, Twilight was determined not to leave all the work to her friend. Waiting for her moment, Twilight wrapped both sets of legs around Applejack’s barrel and pushed her hips upwards, rubbing directly between her legs and using the moment of surprise to roll her over onto her back and take the top position.

“I dunno,” said Twilight playfully. “Still feels like you’re taking it easy on me.” Her mouth found Applejack’s ear and gave it a light nibble.

“Just warming up, Princess,” came her quick retort. Raising one of her hind legs, Applejack slowly pressed it against Twilight’s lower lips, sliding it back and forth several times before pushing the hoof against her folds.

“Best legs in the business,” she boasted, pausing only briefly before moving that strong leg with a bit more vigor, alternating between soft presses and firm rubs, making the alicorn quiver in pleasure. Even though she’d never spoken of it, it was becoming clear to Twilight that her friend had more than a little experience.

Twilight could feel her control waning rapidly under the skilled, intimate massage, and it wasn’t long before she could feel her body responding and wetting Applejack’s fur.

As if sensing her dilemma, Applejack’s pace slowed, a forehoof coming around her neck and drawing her into another soft, sweet kiss. “Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, Twi. That cute look on yer face is doin’ plenty for me.”

Blushing at the compliment (of a sort), Twilight shook her head. “You know I’m not the type of Princess who just waits to be served.” Pressing her hooves on the bed, Twilight began to slide backwards, her muzzle rubbing along Applejack’s chest. Before she could reach her destination though, Applejack’s hind legs suddenly spread and wrapped around her barrel, squeezing tight and drawing a surprised squeak from her lips.

“Now just where do you think yer goin’, Princess?” teased Applejack as she rubbed a forehoof through her mane. Twilight didn’t answer, but no amount of squirming or wiggling could budge her friend’s strong legs, and for her trouble, Applejack simply squeezed tighter, making her gasp. Against her belly, she could feel a very clear sign of her friend’s arousal.

“Now, ah may be mistaken, but Princess Cadance told me to help you relax. Yer not gonna make me break my word to a princess, are ya?” Her legs thighs clenched, drawing out another gasp and a rapid shaking of Twilight’s head. “That’s good. Ah’d hate to have to tie you to the bed.”

Unable to help herself, Twilight blushed. Had Luna tipped her off?

“But, I suppose ya are the Princess of Friendship and all, and ya want to make yer friends feel appreciated, so...” For a brief moment, Twilight felt Applejack’s legs cross over her back, and in the next, she was being turned over.

The bed creaked slightly as Applejack rose to her hooves, but Twilight barely had time to adjust her position before the farm pony turned and pressed her weight against her, this time with her head between her legs and her firm, apple-stamped flank hovering above her muzzle.

“Now, if yer feeling it Princess, all ya have to do is-nnh!”

Twilight smiled to herself as she heard her friend’s surprised gasp, her forehooves squeezing tight around her flank and her tongue delving deep into her folds. Knowing that she only had seconds at most, Twilight went all out, swirling her tongue along her walls and lapping eagerly at her juices, her efforts soon rewarded with a full body tremor and a pleased moan.

“Well if yer that eager, Princess...” Her hind legs bent and soon Twilight’s muzzle was being enveloped while legs squeezed tight around her head, those tantalizing folds sliding up and down her lips as Applejack moved her body back and forth. Then, she felt her tongue.

Within moments, Twilight could feel the difference in experience. The first few licks were slow and measured, giving her time to feel the heat and the texture of her tongue, building up anticipation before paying it off with a deep thrust and a long, slow drag along her walls as she pulled back, her movements unwavering even as Twilight did her best to distract her.

The second lick was faster, the farm pony’s tongue once again plunging deep, but this time swirling around and lapping up her juices for good measure, and from there the pace only increased until Applejack’s head was quickly bobbing up and down between her legs.

It was difficult to keep pace, but Applejack didn’t seem to mind when Twilight’s rhythm faltered. If anything, she seemed almost encouraged by it, and soon her tongue was positively gliding inside her, drawing out several muffled moans against her flank.

Determined, Twilight put her hooves to work, massaging firmly beneath Applejack’s cutie marks, squeezing in time with her licks while varying her pace. Her efforts were rewarded with a sweet taste on her tongue and a few pleased groans, but Applejack was unshakable, continuing to escalate her speed and pushing her tongue ever deeper until Twilight’s forelegs were holding onto her for support.

As if sensing just how close she was, Applejack’s own forelegs suddenly wrapped around her starry flank, squeezing tight and pulling her lower body into the air. For moment she was precariously balanced on her hind legs, but the angle allowed for an even deeper push than before.

That was the tipping point for Twilight. Her folds clenched, her forehooves and head fell back onto the bed, and her body surrendered to Applejack’s embrace. With a soft cry, the princess peaked, soaking the farm pony’s tongue and wetting her muzzle as well.

Far from finished, Applejack’s grip tightened, making Twilight squeak as she was suddenly resting more on her shoulders than her back, squirming as her juices were thoroughly lapped up. Only once she was satisfied that Twilight had nothing left to give did she finally set her back down on the bed and turn to lay beside her.

“You’re...really good,” murmured Twilight, still slightly breathless.

“Ah might have had a bit of practice,” said Applejack coyly.

“Don’t tell me. Rainbow Dash?”

“Naw, it was mostly Rarity.”

“Really?”

Applejack chuckled. “Maybe. But I ain’t interested in either of ‘em right now. Let’s see what Luna left you.”

“How did you-”

“Ah did a little cleaning while you were out. Beneath your bed is a terrible hiding place.”

“I wasn’t trying to hide them...”

With a small smile and a ‘hmm’, Applejack rolled off the bed and briefly dipped out of sight, soon, returning with the case Luna had delivered three days before. “Good Dragon seal of quality. Princess has an eye for this. Mighta misjudged your size though.”

Twilight couldn’t help but squeak at the toy Applejack revealed. “That thing is as thick as my leg!”

“Says here it’s alicorn sized. Ya reckon-”

“No, I’m not thinking about that!” exclaimed Twilight quickly.

Applejack grinned knowingly but put the toy away before rummaging further. “Ho boy, is this what Spike is gonna look like when he’s older?”

The toy she was holding was very much a dragon’s ‘tool’. A pointed tip followed by several segmented ridges that got thicker towards the base, exactly like the pictures she had stumbled across when learning about the dragon whose egg she’d hatched.

Applejack opened her mouth to continue but Twilight quickly cut her off, her embarrassment plain. “Are there any normal toys in that collection?”

Chuckling, Applejack withdrew a stallion shaped toy. Twilight couldn’t help but be impressed by the sheer attention to detail; from the shape of the head and the medial ring, to the soft textured veins running through it. Distracted as she was, she didn’t notice Applejack moving to the toy closer to her until the tip bumped into her muzzle.

“I’ll take that as a royal endorsement,” teased Applejack, stepping back and threading her legs through the provided straps that helped it rest easily between her hind legs.

“Well, how do I look?” asked Applejack, closing the case and jumping back onto the bed, turning her flank towards Twilight to show off the swinging ebony toy between her legs.

“Like a mare with a toy between her legs,” teased Twilight, her horn glowing for a moment and enveloping the length, giving it a firm squeeze. Applejack’s eyes widened as she suddenly realized the other unique property of the high-end toy, the magical feedback providing a surprising amount of stimulation to her body.

“Nnh...is it supposed to do that?” asked Applejack curiously, touching the ebony length with her forehoof and shivering a bit as she felt the ‘head’ quite plainly as if the toy were real.

“Only the best quality ones,” said Twilight sheepishly. “It’s perfectly safe.”

“Then I won’t worry ‘bout it,” said Applejack, turning and slowly moving back over Twilight’s body, her hooves pressing down on either side of her barrel while the smooth toy brushed up against her hind legs.

The slow, steady pace was making Twilight squirm in anticipation. Each nudge of her friend’s hips was dragging the fare of her stallionhood across her folds, and her forehooves were actively sliding across her sides, through her mane, and gently over her wings. Her emotions were a mixture of nervousness and warmth, but the longer Applejack’s teasing continued, the more the former faded, until her moans became softer and her hips began to gently thrust towards the toy.

That seemed to be the signal Applejack was waiting for. Her body leaned forward, her muzzle pushing against Twilight in a passionate kiss and swallowing her cry of pleasure as she thrust forward and parted her folds.

Even as familiar as she was with the magic infused within the toy, Twilight was ill prepared for just how good it felt. The high quality material spreading her wide was already pleasant, but the warmth borrowed from its user’s body was enough to make her squirm, her walls seeming to clench just a little tighter with each gentle thrust.

“Worth...every bit Princess,” gasped Applejack, shuddering as Twilight’s walls worked the toy over and fed the sensations right into her body. “Gonna have to find the bits for this model next time.”

“It’s not a complicated enchantment, I could-eep!” Twilight’s cute squeak cut off the rest of her words as Applejack gave her a potent thrust and buried the medial ring inside her.

“No more magic talk, Twi. There’s only one word ah wanna hear from ya right now.” Tensing her hind legs, Applejack gave Twilight another firm thrust and immediately got her wish as Twilight cried her name loud enough to be heard from the basement.

Applejack was quick to adapt to the toy’s unique properties, moving from slow and steady thrusts to a faster, more measured pace. For her part, Twilight was simply trying her best to keep up and reciprocate. Her hips pushed upwards to meet a few of Applejack’s thrusts, and her forehooves squeezed tight around her neck, running through her lovely orange fur, but Applejack’s pace was only getting faster, and it was getting harder to do anything except hold tight and moan in pleasure.

“Mmhh...you feel downright amazing, princess,” moaned Applejack. “And I don’ just think it’s the toy, neither.”

Panting heavily, Twilight still managed to get out, “Not too much for you to handle, is it?”

For a moment, Applejack stilled. “Was that a challenge, Princess?”

“Could be. I heard from somepony how much you like those,” replied Twilight playfully.

When Applejack returned the smile, Twilight felt a small excited tingle of anticipation run through her body.

Powerful legs gripped her barrel on either side, holding her firmly in place, and for a moment, Twilight could feel the surge of Earth Pony magic before the first powerful thrust, slamming the toy deep inside her and loudly clapping her hips against her starry flanks. Beneath her, the bed rocked and creaked, but there was no time to notice it before the second thrust sent stars into her eyes.

Alicorn endurance was pitted against Earth Pony stamina, and within a minute, it was clear who was coming out on top, with the princess moaning, squirming, and even thrashing in pleasure, her cries only overshadowed by the protests of the bed beneath them.

At one point, Twilight managed to get her legs around Applejack and hug her close, but even then she simply started a series of shorter and more rapid thrusts, often bucking her hips from side to side to make that toy rub against her in a myriad of pleasurable ways.

It wasn’t until Twilight reached her peak that her friend’s pace faltered, her walls squeezing tight just before the toy was soaked with her juices. Dimly, she was aware that the amethyst collar was glowing brightly around her friend’s neck, but that was secondary to the passionate kiss she was sharing as Applejack reached her peak as well.

“So is that what ‘taking it easy’ means to an alicorn? Because if so, we could have had these houses rebuilt already,” said Fleetfoot as she lazily flew away from her perch in the library tree with Rainbow at her side.

“Oh come off it, Fleet. You’ll get your chance to play nursemaid,” teased the other pegasus. “It’s not like these monster attacks are uncommon.”

“You know we almost got blown up, right?”

“Any near-death experience more than two hours old is fodder for jokes,” said Rainbow with a dismissive wave of her hoof.

And from the looks of it, the rest of Ponyville seemed to agree. Most of the ponies below were talking and joking with one another as the frameworks for the destroyed houses were put into place. By nightfall they’d have a full complement of furniture to go with them.

“How has this town stayed standing for so long?” asked Fleetfoot.

Rainbow shrugged. “I’d like to say it’s thanks to Twilight, but I know they’ve been dealing with monsters way longer than she’s been here.”

Rainbow stopped in mid-flight as she passed over an area that had received far less attention than the destroyed houses. For a moment, she frowned before sighing and catching up to Fleetfoot. “Hey. Go get a repair team together for this. If they complain, say it’s an order from Twilight.”

Fleetfoot looked confused as she glanced between Rainbow and the destroyed husk of Trixie’s cart. “Why would I need to do that?”

“Because Trixie ranks fourth or fifth on Ponyville’s worst monster attacks. Long story. But if they’re willing to accept Discord, I think it’s high time we buried this hatchet, too.”