The complete, entirely truthful life story of Derpy Hooves

by Princess_nyx

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Doctor Whooves, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sparkler, Dinky Hooves, Carrot Top, Derpy Hooves
Length: 2089

The title says all- basically the bio of Derpy composed of my headcanons

Derpy Hooves- her entire story, from the day her parents met, her first birthday, her cutie mark story, and everything in between. Contains a little bit of abuse towards Derpy. Read as she's bullied during school, abandoned by someone she loved, struggles with motherhood and court battles. But also discover how she learns about herself and her strength, despite what she has always believed.
Warning: Carrot Top is not in any way Derpy's best friend in this fic, so, as not to get hate, I thought I'd warn you all about it

Published 2014-09-26 02:50:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-26 02:50:07 UTC

Chapter 1- The parents

There was a time when Equestria was like every other society- riddled with unfairness, racism and prejudice. Our story starts at the end of a time like this. Zebras, once slaves to merciless owners, were now starting to gain rights and take their newfound places in the Equestrian culture. Unicorns, however, still saw themselves as the most important, special race out of the three tribes. All Canterlot elite were unicorns, and the status was as treasured as a billion dollar fortune. It was expected of all unicorn stallions to marry other unicorns, to keep the bloodline clean. However, their were two ponies who broke this tradition.

Written Script was a young stallion, still trying to find his place. He didn't really fit in with the rest of the Canterlot bunch, because instead of being a complete snob who's mind was either on appearance or money, he yearned for a simple existence in a simple town, where status didn't matter and he wasn't going to be constantly judged when he chose to marry, settle down and have children. To him, there was only one way to get out of the fate his parents had written out for him- he would choose a mare who was not elite at all. His wife would be an Earth pony or a Pegasus.

Blossomed Star was a dreamer- she lived in a fantasy land of parties and cocktails, new gowns every night, jewels covering everything as far as the eye could see, crystal goblets and solid gold plates at brunch. Her reality, however, was far from this. She was a pony born and raised in Cloudsdale, in a comfortable family with older brothers. Her only wish was to escape the simple life of working moms and living paycheck to paycheck. From an early age, she realized there was only one way to get into the Canterlot elite- convince a dashing, rich unicorn stallion to marry her.

Blossomed Star grew up learning to manipulate everyone around her, with a carefully crafted blend of beauty and charm. She was a beautiful mare, her coat a luscious shade of manganese violet, paired with a blonde streaked silver mane she spend hours coiffing. By the time she was sixteen, she knew she could have any stallion wrapped around her hoof if she tried.

Not long before she was eighteen, she took the biggest step in her plan- moving to Canterlot. There, while taking a job as a waitress in the pegasi quarters of the capital, she used her skills to "convince" ponies left and right to get her VIP tickets to all exclusive parties and events. She spend that time scouting for her dream stallion, but none of them were willing to break apart from what was expected, or they were simply too stuffy to even look twice at a Pegasus mare. Blossomed Star was quickly getting discouraged when, finally, she stumbled upon the most vulnerable prey of all- Written Script. He was attending a duke's daughter's coming out, and Blossomed Star had just slipped in. She found the stallion dashing handsome, and within minutes they were talking.

Instead of going into details, I'll tell you this much- Written Script fell into Blossomed Star's seductive trap the way a insect falls into a carnivorous plant. He was trapped, but he didn't struggle, no, not at all, because he believed it was love. And the little insect became the faithful little pet of his mistress, getting her anything and everything. Blossomed Star, finally living in her fantasy, never wanted it to stop. She would play this card was long as she had too.

As every gold digger does, as quick came the proposal came she insisted the marriage take place much sooner.
But she didn't plan for the unexpended, and everything nearly fell apart.

Chapter Two- The parents part 2

Chapter Two- The parents part 2

Written Script's parents were not happy. They had raised three other stallions and one mare, all whom of which had married into respectable unicorn Canterlot families. Written Script was NOT doing this. He was going to disgrace them. He was marrying a Pegasus mare from who-knows-who-cares-where. She didn't have money, she didn't have status, and she wasn't anything to their eyes. With that in mind, they disowned him, ungracefully tossing him out of Canterlot with a fair warning and what they considered a measly sum; enough to keep an earth pony farmer's family financially comfortable for three years.

Lily Blossomed was, of course, devastated. Was between a rock and a hard place, not being able to leave her new husband without denouncing herself as a gold digger, but she didn't want to go back to being an ordinary, waitressing Pegasus pony.
Written Script was on a complete different level. He was ecstatic, because this was his chance. He could move somewhere in the countryside with his wife, a little town no one hears about. He would get a job working for a local business, maybe set up his own.
Nothing Lily did could change his mind. Within the week they had packed up were boarding a train headed to what Written Script called "the perfect place". That was the idyllic little town of Ponyville, which had built itself to tend to selling the products of hardworking earth ponies. It had evolved, and many businesses had flourished, all ponies welcome, but it was still a basic place.
Lily Blossomed was quick to establish herself was top mare, and settled herself in a rhythm of tea parties with other bored married mares, shopped constantly, and made the spa her favorite hangout. Without realizing it, she was falling back into her old drinking habits. She would have a mimosa with breakfast, champagne with lunch, vodka at the spa, and pinion noir at dinner.
However, this, thankful, didn't affect her first pregnancy.

The arrival of the foal, Silver Script, kept the marriage working. As did Hugh Jelly, Cloud Breaker, and Grape Soda. By the time she had her 5th, Ditzy Doo, arrived, she was forced to stayed at home a lot more. She was falling well into a mother's shoes, with making lunches, watching her foals at the playground, and volunteering at school plays.
It was going well, no? Well, that wouldn't continue for very long, because number 6 arrived.

Lily had gotten back to drinking, and it was getting even more serious. She was often drunk around the house and Written Script often had to hide the bottles. She would throw up every morning thanks to her constant hangovers.
And that's what affect her last pregnancy.

Chapter three

Chapter three

Foal Alcohol Syndrome affects every one in 25 foals born in Equestria every year. It is most commonly found in Las Pegasus, and it is caused when a mare drinks while pregnant. It causes mental deficiencies and physical deformities, and, rarely, death.
Ponyville General Hospital had never birthed a foal affected with FAS before. Until now.

Lily Blossom’s drinking problems had been getting serious again. She was careless, either hung-over or a constant drunk. She didn’t even now she was pregnant until she started getting labor pains.
She was admitted to the hospital, and put under the care of two nurses/midwives she knew well, Nurse Cloverheart and Nurse Pinkheart.

After hours of labor, a foal was successfully birthed. One nurse washed and bundled the filly in a pink blanket while the other went to fetch Written Script. He was sitting in the waiting room reading a paper while his second youngest, Ditzy Doo, scribbled with crayon under the semi-watchful gaze of her older brothers and sister.
“It’s a filly.” Nurse Cloverheart beamed. Ditzy, the five year old silver maned Pegasus, looked up and gasped. “A sister!”
Leaving his paper, Written Script trotted quickly to the birthing room, eager to see his new daughter. Nurse Pinkheart had just handed a pink bundle to Lily, and she two gave the stallion a big grin. “Congratulations!”
Lily Blossomed, seeing her husband, carefully pulled the blanket back off of her new foal’s face. Then…
She screamed.
“She’s hideous! Oh my lord, what’s wrong with it?”
The two nurses rushed forwards anxiously, the green one snatched the bundle away.
“What am I going to do? It’s hideous!”
As Cloverheart rocked the foal, Written Script stepped forwards to see his new daughter for the first time. The filly’s eyes were scrunched shut, and she was sucking on one hoof. She had her father’s grey coat and her mother’s blonde mane. “What’s wrong with her?” He asked as the foal cooed. And the he looked back down.
She had opened her eyes, which were a common shade of golden yellow. But… something wasn’t right with one eye. It swiveled in its socket like it couldn’t be controlled, spinning and rolling. Occasionally, it would pause, and then start up again.
“You see! It’s hideous! She’s… she’s a derp!” Lily cried as Nurse Pinkheart rushed around, crying to calm her down.
“Well, it’s YOUR fault!” Written Script bellowed back. “If you hadn’t gone around drinking cocktails behind my back every night, this never would have happened!”
Shocked, his wife muttered, “My reputation is ruined…”
“And that’s YOUR fault!” Written Script stormed out of the room, leaving behind three stunned mares and one wailing infant.
Both nurses exchanged glances, having a battle with their eyes, and Pinkheart lost. “A name for the filly?” She asked timidly.
“Derpy! She’s derpy! A disgrace!” Lily Blossomed continued to trash around and sob. And so, knowing they would never get a straight answer out of her, the nurses shrugged and the name put on the birth certificate was the following; Derpy Hooves.

Two days later, Lily Blossomed was discharged from the hospital. She never did pick up her filly from the nursery, instead running out with only her purse. She never returned home, never contacted her husband or saw her children after that. The Mayor at the time later swore she stopped by his office to sign divorce papers, and some claim they saw her board a train bound to Canterlot. Whatever she did do, one thing was clear- she didn’t want to be seen in Ponyville again.

After work, Written Script, accompanied by Ditzy, stopped by at the nursery. He had just been harassed by the Mayor’s assistant about divorce papers and frantic nurses had told him the entire story of his wife’s departure. His wife wasn’t coming back… He had lost his wife, his love, because of this… this disabled filly. He watched through the window soundless, thoughts running through his head as a nurse picked Derpy out of her cot, stripped her, put on a fresh diaper and a little onesie, and then bundled her up again. When the nurse placed Derpy in his hooves, and the filly turned to give him her first ever smile, he didn’t feel love or joy like he had with his other children. He felt growing hatred. Repulsion.

Once the trio got home, it was clear by the smell that Derpy had taken care of business- more than once. But instead of changing her diaper and giving her a bottle, Written Script simply plopped the foal into the crib, closed the curtains, and locked the doors. As the filly wailed, he sat on the couch in a near comatose state.
“Come on, Ditzy.” Silver Script called his sister who was sitting at the top of the staircase, watching her daddy. “It’s bedtime.”
As Derpy let out a fresh wail, she asked, “Shouldn’t we do something?”
“It’s okay. She’s just hungry. Dad will take care of her tomorrow; just give him some time, Ditz.” Silver Script answered in what he hoped was a convincing voice.
As her own stomach growled, the toddler ran up the stairs. “I want my mommy!”
“I do to. I do to.” Silver Script whispered before retreating up the stairs. “But don’t worry, she’ll be back in no time!” He called after his sister.
“Liar.” Written Script thought.

Two hours later, when the older children were asleep and even Derpy’s wails had turned into sleepy hiccups, Written Script got up. He went to the master bedroom, and collected everything that belonging to Lily Blossomed. Then, in the backyard, he smashed every perfume bottle, burned every article of clothing, and buried all jewelry. All while thinking of his newest family addition.
The derp.

Author's Note

I'm sorry! I really love Derpy too, but I think this is an important part of her story that needs to be shared!