Bitter Regrets
High over Cloudsdale, in the Junior Speedster Flight Camp obstacle course, soared a rainbow-maned filly who glided through and past the obstacles with a lazy grace. The filly, who was in the middle of a training exercise and being watched by all of her fellow classmates, didn't seem to care about the fact that her time on the course was being timed. She effortlessly flew over clouds and found her way through a field of clouds that were scattered in every direction. True, her accuracy could have used work, but there was no doubt that this filly was quite an exceptional flyer. Nopony knew it yet, but it was less than a month before this certain filly would go on to perform the mythical Sonic Rainboom, a feat unheard of by the best of flyers, let alone by such a small filly.
Her favorite obstacle, a row of cloud rings, was rushing at her as she maneuvered through the course. The filly licked her lips in anticipation as she entered the cloud rings, adding a little twirl when she was halfway through them. As she exited the rings, she thrust a hoof in the air in victory. Nothing could stop her! Passing through Flight Camp would be as easy as counting 1, 2, and-
"Rainbow Dash!" The instructor, a burly stallion wearing sunglasses, a hat, and a white shirt with "OFFICIAL JUNIOR SPEEDSTER INSTRUCTOR" written across the front, yelled up at the rainbow-maned filly, "Hurry up!"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm comin'," Rainbow Dash murmured to herself. Below her, she spied three colts gathered together snickering as they watched her.
"If Rainbow Crash goes any faster, she'll break a wing!" One of the colts hooted, getting a few giggles from the other two. Dash glared down at them, and folded up her wings. Her flight abruptly ended, quickly being replaced with a freefall from several stories up as Dash rocketed toward the thick cloud where her class waited for her. There were a few gasps of shock as Dash drew closer, and she distinctly heard somepony scream "Dear Celestia, she'll kill us all!" amid the frightened foals. At the last second, Dash extended her wings and managed to gracefully land on all four hooves. The instructor, while still looking a bit taken aback, cleared his throat and adjusted his sunglasses as he lifted up a clipboard.
"Now then... you did a fine job navigating through the course, but your timing was behind by far. Work on that speed, Rainbow Dash, or I cannot recommend you continue in..."
Dash was no longer paying attention to her instructor's words, uncaring as she strolled over to a Griffon that was waiting on the edge of the cloud.
"Hey G!" Dash greeted Gilda the Griffon as the two high-fived with their wings (high-winged?), "How'd I do?"
"Pretty lame compared to my time," Gilda answered, lazily stretching out her wings, "You're pretty slow."
"Well, I'm just not in a hurry to get anywhere!" Dash replied defensively, "I'll get to places when I want to get there, not when somepony tells me I have to be there."
"Whatever, dude," Gilda shrugged as the instructor finally stopped talking about Rainbow Dash's performance.
"Alright, listen up, everypony... next up is... Fluttershy!" the instructor announced. Nopony came forward from the mass group of Pegasi foals on the cloud, "Um... is Fluttershy here...?"
There was a squeak from somewhere in the crowd to Dash's right, and then a yellow filly was pushed forward, shaking with nervousness as everypony stared.
"Ah, there you are..." the instructor noted, writing a few things on his clipboard, "Now then, you've been watching everypony else do it, so you should know what to do..."
Dash knew Fluttershy, although just barely. The two had talked a few times when they were both still new to Flight Camp, but Fluttershy had always acted like she was nervous or worried whenever she was around Rainbow Dash. At first, Dash thought it was because Fluttershy was afraid of her for whatever reason, but then Dash realized that Fluttershy acted that way around everypony. She was simply a shy pony.
Fluttershy timidly took her place on the edge of the cloud as the instructor lifted a stopwatch.
"Ready... set... aaaaand GO!" the instructor shouted as he started the stopwatch with a tiny click. Fluttershy spread out her wings, sucked in a deep breath, and then gave a pathetic little leap into the sky before she came crashing back down, landing on her thin, fragile-looking legs. Gilda, along with most of the class, laughed as Fluttershy reluctantly climbed onto her hooves and stretched out her wings to try again. Fluttershy hopped into the air again, and flapped her wings madly, but quickly tired and fell back down. The laughter only escalated. Dash herself forced out a little giggle, which was lost amid the other foals howling at the shy filly's latest failure.
"Ha!" Gilda nudged Rainbow and then whispered, "I bet she'll have worse time than you!"
"Heh! Are you kidding?" Dash replied, adding a tiny smirk for good measure as Fluttershy gave another try, "Fluttershy... Fluttershy can hardly fly!"
Gilda snickered as Fluttershy came back down, "Hey, that rhymes!"
Rainbow Dash watched as Fluttershy took a few deep breaths before leaping into the air once more. She flapped her wings at a steady pace, and actually managed to remain in the air for a few moments. Fluttershy looked hopeful, and gasped in surprise when she realized she was hovering in the air. A stunned silence came over the group as Fluttershy's quiet exterior vanished, being replaced with a proud one before she suddenly fell forward and hit the cloud roughly. Dash suddenly found herself thankful that the Junior Speedsters practiced on clouds instead of anything hard.
"Hah! Fluttershy, Fluttershy! Fluttershy can hardly fly!" Gilda called over the silent schoolponies, and sparked an outburst of laughter and giggles. A few ponies repeated what Gilda had said, and soon half of the group was cheering.
"Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy can hardly fly!" came the deafening sound of half the class mocking the shy pegasus's latest failure. Fluttershy gazed around helplessly, looking completely terrified and humiliated as the cheers continued. Rainbow Dash was completely speechless.
Gilda turned to Rainbow Dash with a wide grin, "Look! We started a chant! Haha!"
"W-what?" Rainbow Dash said, a deep sinking feeling growing in her stomach as she watched Fluttershy burst into tears and hurry away, pushing through the crowd and sobbing as she scurried off, "What do you mean we...?!"
"Fluttershy can hardly fly!" a filly in the back of the group called after Fluttershy. The instructor's jaw dropped, and for a moment he looked even more surprised than Rainbow Dash as he chased after Fluttershy, leaving his stopwatch and clipboard discarded behind on the cloud.
"Well, I guess this exercise is over," Gilda yawned as she rose into the air on her wings. She scooped up the instructor's stopwatch and tossed it up and down in her clawed talon a few times, "I'm outta here. Later Dash, meet ya in the dorm!"
Gilda zoomed away, taking her prize with her. The rest of Dash's class began to disperse as everypony began to leave as well, chortling at what had just happened. A few of them were repeating the chant they had just learned as they flew off the cloud. Soon, after a walleyed Pegasus had flown off the cloud, only Rainbow Dash was left sitting alone on the cloud in complete astonishment. Her ears and head drooped as she realized that Gilda was right; Dash had played a large role in Fluttershy's humiliation. Everypony was still cheering that same stupid chant inside her head, over and over again.
What did I just do...? Rainbow Dash thought to herself, closing her eyes and cupping her hooves over her ears as though it would make the horrible chant stop. Instead of making the voices stop, they only grew louder, and now Dash could picture Fluttershy's completely terrified face just before the yellow filly had run off.
Fluttershy, Fluttershy! Fluttershy can hardly fly! Fluttershy, Fluttershy! Fluttershy can hardly fly! Fluttershy, Fluttershy! Fluttershy can hardly fly! Fluttershy, Fluttershy!
~~~
Nearly an hour after the catastrophe on the obstacle course, Rainbow Dash was slowly flying toward the Junior Speedster dormitories, halfheartedly flapping her wings as she stared at the clouds below her, lost in her thoughts and dwindling in her guilt.
I swear to Celestia... the last thing I want to hear right now is-
"Fluttershy can hardly fly!" squealed a shrill filly's voice, shattering the tranquility of Rainbow Dash's thoughts.
Startled at the sudden outburst of the chant that she had accidentally started, Rainbow Dash quickly scanned the clouds below for where the sound had come from. Below, there were two fillies ganging up on another filly, who was crying. Dash instantly recognized her as Fluttershy. The two fillies kept chanting.
"P-please! Stop!" Fluttershy begged as she struggled to fight back her own tears. Seeing the yellow filly so weak, Rainbow Dash reacted on instinct. Without any hesitation, Dash suddenly soared down toward the cloud at speeds that she had never hit before.
"Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy can hardly-"
Dash landed directly between the cowering Fluttershy and the two unknown fillies, cutting off the one who had been chanting mid-sentence as the two of them backed away in surprise, and glared at them with the most poisonous look she could conjure.
"Hey!" she demanded, "Get lost!"
For a moment, they looked at Dash as though they were going to attack her (Good... Dash thought, I deserve it) and then they turned and started trotting away, mumbling to each other. Dash watched them leave through narrowed eyes.
"R-Rainbow Dash?" Dash heard a small, hesitant voice behind her, "Um... um... I-I... I want to t-thank you... for what you just-"
"Stop," Dash sighed, refusing to turn around and look at Fluttershy. She knew that if she did, her emotions would overpower her and she would break down, "Just... just go away. We're not friends... and I... I don't want your gratitude."
Fluttershy gave a surprised gasp, and then went silent. Rainbow Dash could just imagine her face, and felt like she had just been punched. Her guilt increased, burning like a ball of lava around her heart. Dash heard the distinct sound of Pegasus hooves on clouds, and knew Fluttershy was leaving.
don't look back don't look back don't look back, Dash thought to herself. Dash looked back.
Fluttershy was trying to fly again, probably so she could get to her dorm. Fluttershy gave her trademarked pathetic leap and met with the usual result. Somehow, this time, the impact felt even deeper. Dash felt a sting of pity as Fluttershy lie on the cloud, having finally given up. Dash shook her head as she moved closer to Fluttershy.
"No no no," Dash chided, making Fluttershy look up in surprise, "You can't jump and THEN flap your wings, you have to flap them WHILE you're going up. Like... here, watch... like this..."
Dash demonstrated for Fluttershy, who got back to her hooves.
"Can you do it again?" Fluttershy asked. Dash showed her how to do it again. Fluttershy took a deep breath and then tried. She fell back down.
"Don't give up!" Dash said as Fluttershy lowered her head again, "You have to practice and keep trying. Do it again."
After four or five failed attempts, Fluttershy finally got airborne and remained that way. Dash's eyes widened and her jaw dropped as Fluttershy, the class joke and the weakest flyer she knew, rose higher into the sky. Fluttershy looked down in awe, even more shocked than Rainbow Dash. For the first time since Dash had met her, Fluttershy smiled.
"I... I did it!" She exclaimed breathlessly, "I'm FLYING!"
Rainbow Dash couldn't help smiling at Fluttershy's excitement, and cheered for her as she flew around a little more. Dash felt a certain warmth in the pit of her stomach... not like the guilt-lava she had felt earlier, more like... sunlight. The warmth only increased as Dash watched Fluttershy flap her wings and soar around. It was as though the smaller filly had never flown before...
"Come on, Fluttershy," Dash called to her new friend, "Let's get to the dorms."
Fluttershy landed on the cloud, still in open-mouthed shock, and trotted next to Rainbow Dash as the two set off for the Junior Speedster dormitories. The two walked side-by-side, but with a certain distance between them. They were next to each other, but not necessarily together.
This Life Behind Me
Ever since the incident with the Pegasus race, which led to the Sonic Rainboom, finding her special talent, and getting her Cutie Mark, Fluttershy couldn't stop thinking about the world underneath Cloudsdale. So many wonders, she had summarized as she marveled at the splendor beneath her cloud home. The magical grace of the world below called to her, and she yearned to leave Cloudsdale to live upon the Earth. She might have remained on the ground after she had fallen off the cloud, but Rainbow Dash had noticed that she was missing after the race had finished and went looking for her, somehow managing to find her in the forest below. Dash, upon hearing from Fluttershy that she intended to stay down with the animals, had carried Fluttershy back up to Cloudsdale while the latter had kicked and screamed and fought to get away, protesting that she belonged with the animals. Just as soon as Fluttershy had discovered her peaceful nature paradise, it was gone again as she once again found herself at Flight Camp.
Life for Fluttershy at the Junior Speedster Flight Camp hadn't miraculously improved after the race. The three bullies that Rainbow Dash had raced were bitter about their loss, and took out their fury on Fluttershy. She had always imagined that when she finally earned her Cutie Mark, she would get everything she had always hoped for: self-confidence, assertiveness, self-esteem...
Instead, things had gotten worse. Dash had been praised and applauded for accomplishing that impossible feat, and was practically worshipped by everypony in the Flight Camp. Fluttershy was thrilled for her of course, but she still felt a little envious. While Rainbow Dash became even more popular, Fluttershy was still being teased by-
"Hey, Little Miss Butterfly Butt!" A mocking voice called to her. Fluttershy turned around to see the three bullies standing behind her. She still wasn't sure of their names and, judging from the countless nicknames ranging from "Klutzershy" to "Flutterwuss", they weren't sure of her name either. Rainbow Dash had won the race against them, but they hadn't stopped picking on Fluttershy.
Fluttershy didn't say anything, and turned away from them. She had hoped that they would leave her alone, but she wasn't so lucky. They only pestered her more.
"Hey Klutzershy, why didn't you stay down on the ground?" One of them asked, "We wouldn't have to look at you anymore!"
Their words cut into Fluttershy's skin and drew blood of sorrow, but she was determined not to let them see how much their words hurt her.
"You're the worst flyer here!"
"Why can't you just go back to those dumb animals? They're the only ones who actually like you!"
"What's the matter? Your fillyfriend Rainbow Dash ain't here to protect you?"
"Face it, loser, you'll never amount to anything in Cloudsdale!"
Fluttershy finally lost it. The disinterested, uncaring demeanor she had been determined to keep in front of the bullies crumbled, and she felt tears starting to spill out of her eyes as she whimpered. She wanted to run away, but couldn't think of a direction to go.
Suddenly, two strong hooves slammed into her side, roughly pushing her. A cry of surprise escaped her lips as Fluttershy slipped and fell to the ground. The bullies laughed, two of them even high-fived (high-hoofed?) as Fluttershy's lip quivered. Tears began to spill from her eyes as the shy filly began to weep.
"Oh look! The wittle foal is cwyin'!" One of the bullies snickered in a mocking baby voice. A quiet sob escaped Fluttershy as she began to run. She didn't care which direction, as long as it was anywhere but the Flight Camp... no, not just the Flight Camp. Fluttershy was getting sick of Cloudsdale itself.
As her own salty tears blurred and distorted her view of the floating city, Fluttershy began to picture the scenic forest underneath the Flight Camp. Had anypony else ever experienced what she had? Was Fluttershy the first to ever see the world underneath Cloudsdale? She wasn't sure, but she knew that living down there and enjoying life with the animals was better than living in Cloudsdale and being picked on every day.
They were right about one thing, Fluttershy thought bitterly, The animals are my only friends.
Fluttershy wept quietly as she trotted toward her dormatory. At one point, she hurried past a small group of fillies gathering around Rainbow Dash. While Dash didn't notice her friend was crying, she DID notice Fluttershy passing by, and was tempted to go after her, but decided against it. After all, she shrugged, what in Equestria could somepony like Fluttershy possibly be troubled about?
~~~
It was almost silent that night, aside from the occasional chirping of a bird that had flown high enough to find itself in Cloudsdale. The stars twinkled above the Junior Speedster Flight Camp, glistening with the lighted experiences of centuries past. In the moon's bright light, a small filly slowly opened her dormatory window and hopped outside into the cool night air. She could feel the Mare in the Moon staring down at her vindictively, as though wishing it could throw more jokes at her like the bullies had.
And then Fluttershy stole off into the night, seeking only the new life that awaited her underneath Cloudsdale's thick cloud layer.
Fluttershy was used to being unnoticed, and thought that escaping the Flight Camp would be easy, but she quickly found out wrong. The Flight Camp oddly had security on patrol and, being Pegasi, they were able to keep a sharp eagle-eye on most of the campus from clouds that rested high above the school. Fluttershy briefly considered turning back and going back to bed in her dorm. She almost certainly would have if she hadn't remembered what awaited her. Name-calling. Bullies. That horrible, horrible chant... Fluttershy could still hear it repeating in her head, endlessly poking fun at her.
And Fluttershy knew there would be no turning back.
She tried blending in, even though she was the only pony on the massive cloud that held up the majority of the school. After all, most ponies acted like she was invisible all the time. Maybe she could have easily snuck past the security... or maybe she could have flown up and above them. No, that wouldn't work, Fluttershy reminded herself as she began slowly creeping toward the edge of the giant cloud that held up the dormatory building. Despite what Rainbow Dash had taught her, Fluttershy was still a weak flyer, but she knew that if she got to the edge of the cloud she'd be able to slowly lower herself to the ground. During the race, she had been knocked off the cloud and had been too surprised to remember how to fly. If she wasn't caught off-balance, Fluttershy was sure that she could make it to the ground on her tiny wings.
"Hey! What are you doing out of bed?!"
Fluttershy jumped in surprise as a light flashed on over her, illuminating the area around her like a spotlight. She screamed in a shrill voice as a burly stallion wearing a dark blue jacket and holding a flashlight in his mouth flew down toward her. Quickly recognizing him by his jacket as a security guard, Fluttershy was torn between the desire to flee and the desire to cower in fear. Her knees locked up and refused to move, trapping her in place under the guard's light.
"What are you doing, kid?" the guard demanded. Fluttershy didn't answer. Her voice, in addition to her knees, wasn't working. The guard sighed, "What's your name?"
"F-Fluttershy..." Her throat felt like she had tried to swallow a bag of sand.
The guard pulled out a little notepad from his jacket pocket and wrote something down. Fluttershy couldn't see what it was. After he had finished writing, the guard reached out toward Fluttershy with his hoof.
"Alright, come with me," He told her.
Fluttershy gulped. He was probably going to take her to the Headmaster's office. Despite her plans to leave the school anyway, Fluttershy was still terrified. She looked toward the edge of the cloud, and realized that this was her last chance to make a run for it. The guard must have known what she was thinking, and told her in a firm voice not to be stupid.
Extremely embarrassed, Fluttershy took his hoof and he escorted her straight to (surprise, surprise) the Headmaster's office.
Fluttershy was ordered by a stern-looking mare to sit in an uncomfortable wooden chair as the guard went in to talk to Headmaster Witherwings. A few minutes passed, and then the guard hurried out of the office, casting only a small glance at Fluttershy as he left. Fluttershy sat, slumped in shame and awaiting her punishment, for a while. She wondered why Headmaster Witherwings was prolonging the inevitable... probably just to make her think about what she had done like the naughty little filly she was. Fluttershy's thoughts left her punishment and instead went to the paradise below.
Finally, the door to the Headmaster's office opened again. Fluttershy turned, expecting the guard, but she gasped when she saw it was somepony else.
Instead of the guard, Fluttershy's sleepy-looking mother stumbled into the office. Fluttershy stared wide-eyed as Sugarsweet looked around the office, and her gaze finally stopped on her daughter.
"Oh, Fluttershy..." Sugarsweet sighed, bending down to be at eye-level with her daughter. Fluttershy had always admired how much they looked alike... although Sugarsweet's coat was white and her mane was longer.
"I-I'm so sorry...!" Fluttershy began, but Sugarsweet shushed her.
"No, it's my fault," Sugarsweet said, sighing again as she shook her head, "I knew that you wouldn't be comfortable at Flight Camp, but I sent you anyway. I thought that you would... I don't know, Fluttershy. I'm sorry."
Fluttershy's bottom lip trembled as she looked into her mother's eyes with her own watery ones, and then Sugarsweet pulled her daughter into a hug, nuzzling her with her snout in reassurance. A feeling of warmth and comfort instantly engulfed the filly, and she smiled at finally being reunited with her mother after their few month's separation.
Somepony cleared his throat behind Sugarsweet, and she turned around to see a cobalt-colored stallion with a blue mane and glasses. Headmaster Witherwings.
"Both of you, come inside," He said, gesturing into his office, "We have much to discuss."
Fluttershy was moved from her uncomfortable chair outside the office to an uncomfortable chair inside the office. Her flank was asleep, and she wondered why the Flight Camp insisted on getting such terrible chairs. However, the seating situation was the last thing on her mind as her mother and her headmaster both stared at her, making her feel small and helpless.
"Now then, Mrs. Sugarsweet..." Headmaster Witherwings began, adjusting his glasses.
"It's 'Miss', if you please," Sugarsweet murmured. Witherwings continued.
"Your daughter was found outside almost an hour ago, trying to leave the campus. Do you have any idea why?"
"Goodness, no," Sugarsweet placed her hoof on her heart, "That doesn't sound like my Fluttershy."
"Students out of bed after sundown isn't permitted here at Junior Speedster, Miss Sugarsweet," Witherwings said, "Normally, the student in question would serve a few detentions, perhaps clearing away a few clouds or polishing off school awards. We certainly wouldn't bother sending a messenger to bring their parents to the school, but your daughter Fluttershy is a... oh, how shall I put this... special case."
"What do you mean by that?" Sugarsweet demanded.
Witherwings sighed, "Quite a few instructors have come to me with... concerns... for Fluttershy. Not only is she a weak flyer, but there have been complications with the other foals in her class."
"What kind of complications?"
"She doesn't interact with any of them!" Witherwings replied, adjusting his glasses agian, "Your daughter is very anti-social. It normally wouldn't be much of a problem, but there was a certain... incident in which most, if not all, of her class verbally harrassed her with a chant that was believed to have been started by a 'Rainbow Dash' and 'Gilda'. Do either of those names mean anything to you?"
"Not at all," Sugarsweet blinked, and then turned to Fluttershy, "Fluttershy, what happened?"
"I-I..." Fluttershy squeaked. Both of the ponies were staring at her, and she suddenly felt very self-conscious, "W-well..."
Witherwings put up a hoof to silence her, "Clearly your daughter is not comfortable discussing this, so I will proceed. A running joke on campus is a chant spoken in your daughter's presence, something that goes along the lines of 'Fluttershy, Fluttershy, Fluttershy can hardly fly'."
"Well, you're supposed to be in charge around here!" Sugarsweet exclaimed, disbelieving of what her daughter had been enduring, "Can't you stop it?"
"We've tried. The fact is that nopony can stop bullying, Miss Sugarsweet, and not everypony can properly deal with it. Your daughter is a case-in-point. She attempted to flee the school to parts unknown, and I believe this is only the beginning. To help her, we've decided to... act."
"So what, you're kicking her out of Junior Speedster?"
"Oh no, certainly not. Recently, she's shown a spectacular improvement with her flying. Perhaps she's training with somepony else or by herself, I don't know. Either way, it's working. Our actions are more subtle than simply refusing to educate Fluttershy."
"So, what are you going to do?" Sugarsweet asked, protectively placing a hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder.
"We've decided that she will no longer sleep in the dormatories here," Witherwings continued, "Instead, we advise that she sleep at home, someplace with somepony like you that she can talk to if there's any problems. She's obviously too afraid to speak to anypony here."
"Okay, that sounds pretty good," Sugarsweet agreed, glancing at Fluttershy before turning back to Witherwings, "Anything else? Are you going to, I don't know, try to put my daughter on medication or something?"
"We recommend a few therapy courses," Witherwings began, but he was silenced when Sugarsweet put her hoof up.
"Stop, I've heard enough," Sugarsweet said, taking Fluttershy by the hoof and standing up, "I appreciate your concern, Headmaster. Fluttershy will be going home with me and will return to Flight Camp tomorrow. Thank you for your time."
"The pleasure was mine," Witherwings replied as Sugarsweet and Fluttershy left his office, closing the door behind them.
~~~
Fluttershy tearfully looked at her mother's sleeping form as she stood alone in the dimly-lit bedroom one fateful night.
A week had passed since their meeting with Headmaster Witherwings, and Fluttershy easily adjusted to living with her mother and going to Flight School during the day. Nopony noticed that she was missing from the dorm, as she expected, yet they all noticed her when they felt like singing that chant. Despite this, she still grew comfortable with the arrangement.
But Fluttershy knew she couldn't stay in Cloudsdale. She truly belonged down on the Earth with the animals in her forest paradise, as a protector of nature. A Pegasus afraid of heights didn't belong in Flight School. It was pathetic. Besides, if it meant that she'd never have to hear that chant ever again...
"I'm sorry, Mommy..." Fluttershy whispered as a tear slid down her face. She leaned over and gently kissed Sugarsweet's cheek, then turned and silently trotted out of the room before she could start crying. Moving her to her mother's house instead of Flight Camp made her escape to the world beneath Cloudsdale easier, but somehow it hurt even more.
As Fluttershy left the small house, her mother stirred in her sleep. Sugarsweet's hoof subconsciously reached up and touched her cheek, and she smiled as she fell into a wonderful dream.
Cloudsdale was cold and unwelcoming during the nights, but Fluttershy still admired it as she took one last look around as she trotted to the edge of a cloud. There she stood, peeking over the side to see the trees far below. Fluttershy took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself, and then began flapping her wings as she stepped off the cloud and lowered herself down toward the Earth below. She thought that she'd be thinking of her mother on the way down, but she wasn't.
Instead, the only face in her mind belonged to Rainbow Dash.
Fluttershy couldn't imagine why.
A Few Years Later...
Rainbow Dash sighed, taking in her first deep breath of the scenic Ponyville air. The small town was really quite gorgeous... and Rainbow Dash never used that word. From the large, impressive Town Hall to the extensive apple fields to a looming boutique, Ponyville was a welcome change from Cloudsdale. Rainbow Dash trotted through the marketplace, marveling at everything that caught her eye. Cloudsdale had been nothing but clouds, and Ponyville was completely different. There was actual dirt! There were magificent timber-framed houses leaning in on her from every side instead of open air and clouds! The ponies weren't just Pegasi, but there were also Earth ponies and Unicorns! So THIS was what culture shock felt like.
Dash was searching for the pony in charge of the Ponyville Weather Committee. After all, it was the entire reason that she had moved to Ponyville in the first place; Dash had been recommended for Ponyville's team after excelling on Cloudsdale's weather team. Having had family problems in recent years, Dash didn't have to think long about being offered a cloud house in Ponyville and a steady job.
The ponies also seemed really nice, Dash thought to herself, smiling.
As she trotted through the Ponyville market, a pink pony saw her and gasped loudly, immediately running off to do Celestia-knows-what. Dash was confused at first, but shrugged it off as an "Earth pony thing". Nevertheless, she was still looking over her shoulder for the pink pony in confusion as she continued to trot through the marketplace.
"Hey! You there!"
Dash's head whipped around toward the loud voice, and saw a mare in a cowpony hat standing behind one of the stalls motioning her over with a hoof. Dash trotted over, noticing that the mare had apples for sale. Gala, Honeycrisp, Golden and Red Delicious, all kinds of apples... it was really a bit overwhelming.
"Sorry 'bout Pinkie Pie there," the mare shrugged, speaking in a striking country accent, "She just gets a tad overexcited, if ya know what ah mean."
"I think so..." Dash replied hesitantly, peering over her shoulder again.
"Say... you're new in town, ain't ya?" the mare said, tilting her head as she surveyed Rainbow Dash, "Ah don't reckon ah've ever seen ya 'round here..."
"Yeah, I just moved here from Cloudsdale!" Dash said, full of pride, "Name's Rainbow Dash!"
"Ah'm Applejack. Nice ta meet ya! Welcome to Ponyville!" Applejack greeted, reaching out to shake Rainbow Dash's hoof, "Did ya say you were from Cloudsdale? That Pegasus city in the sky? Funny... there's another pony 'round here who used to live in Cloudsdale... never really talked to her. She doesn't seem like the type for a conversation, know what ah mean? Have you two met yet?"
"I don't know," Dash shrugged, "Where is she?"
"Not sure... ah well. I'm sure you two'll meet eventually!" Applejack said, waving a hoof in dismissal, "You showed up at a great time, Rainbow Dash. Tomorrow's the big day!"
"Why, what's tomorrow?"
"Cider Day, of course!" Applejack answered, "Everypony in town gets lined up for some delicious cider, freshly made from apples from Sweet Apple Acres!"
"I don't know, cider's never really been my thing..." Dash said uncertainly.
"Trust me, once ya've tried cider from us, you'll be hooked!" Applejack hollered joyously. Dash wondered if Applejack was becoming as "overexcited" as that pink pony that she had encountered earlier.
"Anyway... can you direct me to the Pegasus in charge of Ponyville's Weather Committee?"
"Hmm... oh, I reckon he'd be right over there," Applejack pointed her hoof after a moment's thought.
"Thanks!" Rainbow Dash called over her shoulder as she trotted away from Applejack's apple cart.
Rainbow Dash hurried through a large crowd of ponies. Wow... was the market always so crowded? If it was, then Dash had finally found the one drawback to living in Ponyville. Oh well... she hardly cared. After all, she'd be spending most of her time flying anyway. Dash pushed her way through a particularly close-knit group of ponies and finally emerged from the crowd into an open area. Taking in a breath of relief, Dash took a moment to stretch out her wings.
She was about to continue on her way, but suddenly a line of ducks crossed her path.
Dash froze as the quacking little creatures waddled across the dirt street in front of her. One of them glanced at Dash with a beady little eye and let out a loud quack! in her direction. Dash wasn't sure what to think as she stared, completely caught off-guard by the bizarre sight. She looked around to see that nopony else was paying the ducks any attention. Did animals behave like this naturally? Was this normal for life on the ground?
"There you go... almost there..."
Dash's heart stopped and her breath caught in her throat. Her eyes went wide and her ears perked up as the tiny, reassuring voice that had just spoken registered inside her mind. Instinctively, Dash looked toward the pony that had just spoken, only to see a yellow Pegasus with a pink mane following behind the ducks, goading them into continuing their march through the town.
"F-Fluttershy...?" Rainbow Dash whispered. The Pegasus looked up, and her green eyes widened in surprise. For a moment, the two only stood staring at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.
"... Hello, Rainbow Dash..." Fluttershy finally murmured.
"FLUTTERSHY!" Rainbow Dash squealed in complete shock as she dove forward, wrapping her once-best friend in a tight hug that dragged Fluttershy off-balance, giving her just enough time to squeak before she was pulled into Dash's embrace. The ducks quacked at Rainbow Dash's sudden and surprising move, and briefly scattered around in a blind, frenzied panic before calming, "I can't believe it! You're alive!"
"Mmph..." Fluttershy said, trying to breathe as Dash's hooves threatened to smother her with their joy, "Of course I am... I've been living here in Ponyville."
"But how? You just disappeared one night! We looked everywhere for you, and we couldn't find you anywhere! We thought you were dead!" Dash's grip loosened on Fluttershy, "We... we held a funeral for you. Your mother... she couldn't stop crying..."
Rainbow Dash's voice faltered as she noticed Fluttershy's troubled and sorrowful expression. Fluttershy pulled out of the hug and cleared her throat. When Fluttershy spoke, her voice was serious. Deathly serious.
"Rainbow Dash... please don't tell her I'm in Ponyville..." Fluttershy told her, "I left Cloudsdale behind me... I don't think I can ever go back..."
"Why?" Dash said angrily, remembering how Fluttershy's mother had broken down in a pool of tears at her lost daughter, and here was Fluttershy, appearing not to care, "Fluttershy, what you did was terrible! We all thought you were dead, and now you tell me you've been living in Ponyville for the last few years?! Do you have any idea how many ponies mourned for you? How can you stand there and say you just LEFT it all BEHIND you?!"
"Because... because you don't know what it was like!" Fluttershy shot back, "You have NO idea what it was like for me, Rainbow Dash! You were busy being Miss Popular, the envy of everypony at Flight Camp while I was stuck being Klutzershy! Flutterwuss! Butterfly Butt! I had no place at all in Cloudsdale! Do you think it's easy knowing that you're a failure, knowing that you can hardly fly straight?! Living every day knowing everypony feels SORRY for you?! Oh wait, I forgot! You have no idea what that's like because YOU'RE BUCKING PERFECT!!"
Fluttershy stopped, putting up a hoof to her mouth as it registered that she had just said "buck" aloud (a horrendous bit of profanity in Equestrian society). The fight visibly left her, and she lowered her head. Her pink mane covered her face from view, but Dash could still hear her quiet sobs. Dash looked down to the ground as memories of a chant filled her mind.
"Fluttershy..." Dash said, surprised at how calm her voice sounded, "When you disappeared... I cried for a week. I-I couldn't believe that my... my best friend... just left without saying goodbye..."
Fluttershy looked back to Rainbow Dash, a hurt gleam in her eye, but a reassuring smile on her face.
"Well... I guess we're together again..." Fluttershy whispered, "...Hey, would you like a little tour of Ponyville? I'd love to show you how wonderful this place really is for such a small town!"
"Yeah... okay," Rainbow Dash accepted Fluttershy's offer, and then the two set off back toward the crowded market that Dash had just left (escaped from, more like).
"Fluttershy?" Dash began.
"Yes?"
"...I'm really glad I found you."
Fluttershy giggled, "Me too."
And the two Pegasi continued through Ponyville market, laughing and joking with each other the entire way. They trotted at a comfortable distance, together as friends.
One Week Later...
Fluttershy gulped, and ran a hoof through her mane for what felt like the thousandth time. She cleared her throat and scrunched her snout as she trotted through Cloudsdale. It was strange really; the shy pony felt like an alien in the floating city after being gone so long.
Coming here had been Rainbow Dash's idea, of course. Her colorful-maned friend had settled into life in Ponyville rather quickly. Soul Tornado even said that if he ever retired as Head of the Ponyville Weather Committee, Rainbow Dash was a likely candidate to replace him.
Fluttershy and Dash had rekindled rather quickly, spending plenty of time in either Fluttershy's cottage or Dash's cloud house just talking. Dash had been weary of discussing anything related to Cloudsdale, but she had suggested this short visit anyway. Fluttershy quickly changed the subject, but the seeds had been planted in her mind. Slowly, they grew until Fluttershy couldn't handle it anymore.
Now she was back in Cloudsdale, the city that had intimidated and ridiculed her so much as a filly. Fluttershy trotted past the Junior Speedster Flight Camp, her pace speeding up a little bit as she hurried past the front gates. Eventually, she found herself on a familiar street.
Fluttershy smiled as she passed a familiar mailbox with "SUGARSWEET & FLUTTERSHY" written on the side in bright, colorful paints.
Tears began to form in her eyes as she slowly trotted up a familiar walk to a familiar front door. She rapped her hoof on it, and heard somepony inside. Fluttershy squeezed her eyes shut and inhaled deeply, determined not to have tears in her eyes for the pony that was coming.
But when the door opened and Fluttershy finally saw the mare who was standing there, a shocked expression on her face as she stood in the doorway, Fluttershy began to cry as the mare stepped forward and gently caressed Fluttershy's cheek as if making sure that it was real. The mare began to tear up, and soon both of them were crying as they stared at each other. The mare stepped forward and wrapped her daughter in a tight, warm hug, an embrace that both of them wished would last forever.
Now I Know How to Fly
High above the ground, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy sat together upon a lone cloud, the only one in the endless blue sky.
The cloud itself was rather small, yet it still gave enough room for the two Pegasi to sit together with plenty of room. It was a brilliantly bright shade of white, and was very puffy, bringing to mind a luxurious pillow or gigantic marshmallow. If Pinkie Pie had been there, she'd have described it as "the puffiest pufferific cloud in the entire sky!". Beneath the cloud, far below, was a barren field that seemed to stretch on until it was over the horizon and out of sight. In the direction Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were facing, they could see Ponyville looming in the distance. The Town Hall and Rarity's boutique were easy to spot in the town's familiar outline. Beyond that was Sweet Apple Acres, and beyond that was the Everfree Forest. All-in-all, it was quite a spectacular view.
Unfortunately, the view was the last thing on either Pegasus's mind as they sat together, Fluttershy sitting with her hoof around Rainbow Dash and Dash sitting staring down as she struggled to fight back tears. Fluttershy smiled a little bit; Dash was too proud to let anypony- even her fillyhood friend- witness her crying. Fluttershy was trying to comfort her friend and wanted to say something to shatter the sorrowful silence that had settled between them, but her voice wasn't working. It seemed like it never did when she needed it.
"I'm such an idiot, Fluttershy..." Dash suddenly spoke, breaking the eerie stillness. Fluttershy jumped a little in surprise, and realized that Dash had probably been repeating those same four words in her head the entire time that they'd been on the cloud. Rainbow Dash shook her head from side-to-side, "I can't believe it... I just... can't..."
"Oh, Rainbow..." Fluttershy spoke gently as Rainbow Dash let out a quiet sob. Her mind raced as she struggled to think of something to say. A minute ago, she had been thinking of plenty of things to say, but now her mouth felt like sand and her mind was blank. After all, Rainbow Dash had just failed the biggest test of her life. It wasn't the kind of thing that knocked Rainbow Dash down so she could pick herself up, brush herself off, and try again. Dash had failed the Wonderbolts test, effectively crushing all of her dreams. Sure, it wasn't the end of Equestria, but to her friend it must have felt like it.
"No, Fluttershy!" Dash snapped, making Fluttershy shrink back a little bit in fear, "Can't you see? I spent my entire life training to be one of the best, and then I go and completely fail that test because my accuracy was horrible! After everything I've done, the Sonic Rainboom, going to that disaster of a Gala just to meet them, going to that stupid Academy, taking the Wonderbolts History test... it's all for nothing now..." Rainbow Dash's voice cracked on the last few words.
She angrily slammed her hoof into the cloud, causing a few raindrops to fall from the cloud. Fluttershy considered asking her to calm down (after all, Fluttershy was nervous just being up on the cloud. She didn't need Dash hitting it and making it even worse), but decided that it probably wasn't the right thing to say. Fluttershy watched the raindrops fall until they splattered on the ground in the field below, and then she glanced over to Rainbow Dash. To her surprise, the rainbow-maned pegasus lowered her head as a few tears spilled out of her eyes.
"Rainbow Dash!" Fluttershy pouted, "You're the greatest flyer that I've ever known! If the Wonderbolts can't see that, then who needs them? Whatever happened to you calling yourself the 'best flyer in all of Equestria'?"
"Now..." Dash kept her head down, and another tear dripped out of her eye and fell, "Now they can give that title to somepony else."
"Oh come on!" Fluttershy snapped. Dash jumped a little, looking startled at Fluttershy's sudden outburst, "Enough about the Wonderbolts already! You're Rainbow Dash! You're the Pegasus who saved the Wonderbolts AND Rarity with a Sonic Rainboom in Cloudsdale! You were in charge of getting all those Ponyville Pegasi ready to create a tornado to carry water to the weather factories! You were basically a town superhero before-"
Fluttershy hesitated on the last one. Rainbow Dash didn't like when anypony mentioned Mare-Do-Well, so Fluttershy talking about it would've only made Dash feel worse. Fluttershy got to her hooves and began pacing around the cloud, racking her brain to come up with more of Rainbow Dash's exploits.
"You remember carrying the flag for Cloudsdale in the Equestria Games that one year? You were amazing- spectacular! That was the year before you raced those three bullies at Flight Camp, just to protect me... I don't think I've ever thanked you enough for that. Even Princess Celestia knows that you're the greatest flyer in Equestria! There was nopony else as qualified as you to perform a Sonic Rainboom at that Canterlot wedding."
Fluttershy stopped, staring down off the side of the cloud. She was aware of Rainbow Dash still sitting behind her, but she wasn't sure if Dash was still listening. Fluttershy decided to keep talking anyway.
"You... I don't want to listen to you whine about the Wonderbolts anymore, Rainbow. If they can't see how good of a flyer you are, then who needs them? After all, do you just want to be another Wonderbolt in Spitfire's shadow, or do you want to be-"
Fluttershy turned around just in time to see Rainbow Dash dive out-of-view off the side of the cloud.
"-Rainbow Dash?!"
Letting out a tiny squeak, Fluttershy lunged to the side of the cloud in time to see Dash falling headfirst down to the field below. Without thinking, Fluttershy threw herself off the cloud and began flapping her wings as hard as she could. Soon she was racing down, cutting through the air like an arrow as she rushed down toward her best friend.
Below her, Rainbow Dash's limp body fell faster than Fluttershy could fly. Dash was like a broken doll, moving only with the force of the wind and the fall. Her body flipped in midair, and then Dash's violently-magenta eyes were staring up at Fluttershy's horrified, desperate face. Dash made no effort to move at all as Fluttershy struggled to flap faster, but somehow Dash remained tantalzingly out of reach. The ground below was coming closer, hastily moving up to greet the two Pegasi.
Fluttershy reached out her hoof, nearly touching Dash's. Time itself seemed to stop as Fluttershy stretched, groping for Dash's hoof. She struggled to see; her vision was obstructed by her own warm, wet tears. Just a little further and she could save her fillyhood friend, not only the greatest flyer she'd ever known but the best friend she'd ever known... the one who was always there for her in Cloudsdale and Ponyville... the one who had taught her how to fly. Rainbow Dash's cold lips moved slightly, shaping out silent words that were lost in the wind as she fell.
And then Rainbow Dash's body hit the ground with a sickening crunching sound as her bones shattered on impact. A few blue feathers left her wings and went into the air before gently coming down to land in the grass. Rainbow Dash's head bounced once in the grass, and then all was still.
At the last second in flight, Fluttershy tried to veer upwards and managed to reduce the pain of her impact when she struck the ground. Wasting no time, she rushed to Rainbow Dash's side. Dash's head was slightly tilted to the side, and her eyes were wide open as though staring intently into the sky. Fluttershy gazed into her friend's eyes and saw no sign of life in them. She pressed her ear into Rainbow Dash's chest and listened for something- anything- to prove the impossible. Finally, after an entire minute had gone past, Fluttershy finally had to accept the cold reality of the situation.
Rainbow Dash was dead.
"No... no no no no no..." Fluttershy whispered, shaking her head from side to side. It wasn't true. It couldn't be true. Rainbow Dash had always been there, she couldn't just leave now. Dash had been there on the first day of Flight Camp, making friends while Fluttershy quietly watched from the side. Dash was there, teaching her how to fly. Dash was in her mind when she left Cloudsdale for the last time as a filly. Dash had ferociously hugged her and loudly exclaimed her joy at finding that Fluttershy was alive and well in Ponyville. Nothing seperated them, they were even both parts of the Elements of Harmony...
"No!" Fluttershy screamed. She pressed her hooves into Rainbow Dash's chest and began pushing, "Breathe... come on, breathe! You've gotta get up, Rainbow...! You've just gotta get back up... please... GET UP!"
Tears fell from Fluttershy's eyes as she continued trying to force life to Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy pressed her mouth into Rainbow's cold one and she breathed in life. Fluttershy tried to remember everything she had ever learned about first aid, but nothing useful came to her. Finally, Fluttershy broke down and rested her head on Dash's chest as she began crying, silently praying for anything to bring her best friend back to life.
Fluttershy never heard her friends arrive behind her.
Two strong hooves grabbed Fluttershy, and gently tugged her off Rainbow Dash's corpse.
"No! What are you doing?! She's still alive! She has to be alive!" Fluttershy screamed, kicking and shaking her hooves in an attempt to get out of the pony's strong grip, "Put me down, I've got to help Rainbow Dash!"
"Sugarcube, Rainbow Dash ain't... she's not..." Applejack's voice faltered behind her. Fluttershy was dimly aware that Applejack was beginning to cry as well as she carried Fluttershy away, but Fluttershy didn't care. Fluttershy kept fighting and squealing out as Applejack carried her back toward Ponyville. Behind her, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie were gathered around Rainbow Dash. With a grave, unbelieving expression, Twilight carried Rainbow Dash away as Rarity stood in disbelief. Pinkie fell onto the ground, buried her face in the grass, and didn't move, only choked out sobs into the dirt.
The fight finally left Fluttershy, and she went limp in Applejack's hooves. Her own eyes began to close as she felt herself passing out. Just before she lost consciousness, she finally understood the last two words that Rainbow Dash ever spoke:
I'm sorry.
~~~
Fluttershy hated funerals.
She sat limply between Applejack and Twilight as everypony spoke about their deceased friend. Pinkie Pie tearfully remembered all of the pranks that she and Dash had pulled ("It was great..." she said with a slight smile as tears began to fall from her eyes). Applejack was reminded of the Iron Pony competition and the Running of the Leaves ("Ah always beat her... but she never admitted it..." AJ remarked with a grin). Rarity laughingly remembered the time she had used magic to put Rainbow in a dress, and everypony laughed at that one. It was a small bit of warmth and happiness on an otherwise dark and cold day.
"She was the most annoying Pegasus I'd ever met, the first time I came to Ponyville," Twilight said with a sad smile as she recalled the first time she had ever met Rainbow Dash, "I'm... we're all going to miss her..."
Applejack nudged Fluttershy, who slowly looked up with a quivering bottom lip.
"Do ya want to say anything, sugarcube?" Applejack quietly asked. Fluttershy shook her head.
"I've... never been good in front of crowds," Fluttershy quietly replied, "Rainbow Dash knew that better than anypony..."
Applejack nodded solemnly, and turned back to the funeral.
Finally, the time came to bury Rainbow Dash in her coffin. Everypony trudged to the graveyard, mourning over their lost friend. Fluttershy moved even slower than everypony else. She glanced around and saw Spitfire, Soarin, and Fleetfoot, as well as a few other Wonderbolts. Near them was Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and a dazed-looking Scootaloo. Fluttershy was touched to see them; she knew Rainbow Dash had been relevant to many ponies, but not this many.
Dash's coffin was beautifully made. The brown wood gleamed in the sunlight from the gray skies above. There were shining, golden handles on it, which were grabbed by a few stallions who began to lower Rainbow Dash into a freshly-dug hole. That was when Fluttershy was suddenly overcome with emotion and stepped forward.
"Stop! Stop!" Fluttershy yelled, hurrying over. The stallions looked taken aback, but they pulled Rainbow Dash back up to the surface. Fluttershy stopped next to Dash's coffin, and opened the top. Rainbow Dash's body sat inside, wings spread with her hooves posed over her chest. Nopony had bothered to close her eyes, which stared up into Fluttershy's tearful ones. She hath died as she lived.
"I-I... I just want to thank you, Rainbow Dash..." Fluttershy began in a voice that was hardly a whisper, "You... you were my best friend. Nopony could replace you... nopony at all. You were always there for me... at Flight School... now in Ponyville..."
A few tears slipped out of Fluttershy's eyes, and she blinked rapidly so she could see her friend for the final time. Despite her knees feeling wobbly, she still managed to raise a hoof to the coffin.
"When everypony else was teasing me... calling me names... repeating that horrible chant... you stood up for me. You taught me how to fly, and... I just... want to thank you..."
Her hoof went over Rainbow Dash's eyes, closing them. It was almost like Dash could have been sleeping. Fluttershy almost lost it, but managed to keep herself together as she spoke one final time before closing the lid.
"Thanks to you...
Now I Know How To Fly."
Author's Note
"Bitter Regrets" and "Now I Know How To Fly" were originally written as two separate stories. However, after noticing that I could put them together, I decided to do just that.
"Bitter Regrets" was a neat headcanon I had about Rainbow Dash starting the chant, thus making her friendship with Fluttershy even deeper.
"Now I Know How To Fly" was born out of seeing comics about Rainbow Dash flying down to catch somepony she loved, but never seeing any comics about Dash being the one falling.
Both of these gave me a bit of change from my usual brand of horror writing, which I was grateful for.
However, months past after I submitted this story, and I almost forgot all about it. Eventually, I revisited it and was disappointed with myself. The stories were short, poorly-written, and I knew that I could do a better job.
So I decided to redo both chapters, as well as adding in another chapter. I hope you've enjoyed reading this, because I've enjoyed writing it. :)
