There he stood a mixture of horror and embarrassment evident on his face though his body betrayed only a sense of humiliated resignation as though saying ‘I accept that you have done this to me you psychotic bint, but why? Whyyyy?’. Of course he did not say it aloud, it would be a death sentence to do so faust knows what horrific things might await him if he tried anything else at this point. Here stood a once proud and most noble stallion of the highest echelons of Canterlotian society now reduced to this sorry state of being. His once well groomed and pristine white fur had become ruffled and dirtied on the first day of his punishment. A few small flecks of pink and red icing still clung to his tail and fur like sprinkles to this dreaded sundae. He could still feel the Tabasco cupcake icing slowly but surely burning a hole through his tongue.
What had he ever done to deserve such a cruel fate he thought to himself. Sure he had harassed a couple maids, fired a few for no good reason, and ate the last slice of auntie's five thousandth birthday cake, but that was no reason for him to get in trouble that was the commoner’s job to do that for him. Alas this cruel and unusual world and decided to unjustly punish his pure and true soul, he thought.
Blueblood was wearing a banana suit.
Of all the punishments he had suffered this was by far the cruelest. A true war crime of the highest degree second only to the diaper dance.
As Luna had ‘helped’ him into the wretched thing she had informed him of it’s maker the lady rarity whom had, upon receiving the commission and learning of it’s purpose, gone into a frenzy of an inspiration and created not one but twenty three different banana suits of varying colour type and whatever else she could think up. She had of course worked tirelessly to produce the things which would be terrible if the intrepid unicorn had not managed to complete them all in a mere three hours, never underestimate a seamstress with vengeance as her inspiration
The suit was of course a shiny yellow with a spot or two on it’s otherwise pristine skin. Its insidious design made sure to hide that most noble aspect of any pony race, his horn. Not any unicorn’s horn, like that upstart peasant Twilight Sparkle, but his horn in all it’s spectacular...wrapped up in yellow...majesty. Looking up he glared at the stem of the costume, which had come with an inhibitor ring built in, and though it was naught but an inanimate object it seemed to be laughing...no cackling at his downfall. Protruding about three hands from his forehead it thus wobbled slightly wherever he went making everypony even auntie’s own guards giggle at the sight of him.
A space at the back had been made for his mane which already contained at least one mashed banana, several leaves from an apple tree, some bits of apple skin, and a piece of oddly wet cotton candy that had not been there a bright flash of light ago.
Just below the stem was a hole for his face to fit through though it chafed and squeaked horribly, pressing the bits of spicy cupcake icing against his fair and delicate skin, whenever he tried to turn his head. The hole was only just large enough to fit his noble noggin and continued it’s graceful curve downwards covering his chest and foreshoulders. Like his face there were holes in the costume fore his forelegs. Blueblood almost wished that it had none fore while he could avoid turning his head the same could not be said fore his legs. Unfortunately for him both openings shared the same trait of being squeaky and downright uncomfortable. This combination resulted in the giggle inducing sounds of his approaching presence.
The downwards swoop of the banana forced him to maintain a swayback posture which, after years of perfecting ‘the most noble and dignified stance of a prince’, was downright uncomfortable. The zipper for the outfit ran along the back curve though the rarity had been clever enough to make it seam invisible.
There was hole for his tail which had been wrapped in bright yellow polyester...wrap. Just the word polyester made him want to ralph as he thought of it’s horrifically synthetic fibers touching his...anywhere. His poo poor tail his glorious tail ‘don’t worry baby’ he thought ‘it’ll all be over soon’.
Less horrifying than the polyester was the fact that his lunar aunt had also elected to dye it yellow. This was still traumatizing for the prince and he died a little on the inside...of his tail, but nothing is more horrifying, than polyester.
The getup also included a set of surprisingly comfortable yellow hoof boots adorned with pictures of bananas. Not just normal bananas either but also wild bananas, plantains, and much much more!
About a hand from the formerly royal posterior the ensemble ended in usual blackened tip of a banana. While this might seem rather tame in comparison to how horrific the rest of the outfit it was infact the most mortifying of them all. As a final insult Rarity had somehow managed to design the suit so that it would force the prince into an uncomfortable swaying gait. It would have been incredibly sexy on any pony who performed it granting them the ability to bedazzle any they do desired. However for Blueblood, who was indeed wearing a banana suit, it was the most ridiculous looking thing in the history of ridiculous things (yes even Oppa Gangnam style).
So here he stood coat messy with dirt and icing, tongue sore, skin chafing, icing burning, banana in his hair, fetlocks untrimmed in over five days (the horror) while his lunar ‘aunt’ giggled at him.
It was going to be a long day.
