My Little Draven: Draven is Draaaaaaaaaaaaaven
Author's Note
WARNING THIS FIC CONTAINS EXTREME AMOUNTS OF DRAVEN, IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE DRAVEN THEN YOU SHOULDN'T BE READING ABOUT DRAVEN YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
This fic is not to be taken seriously and is written for comedic purposes only.
With Style
The first thing Twilight Sparkle noticed when she woke up was the distinct lack of loud dragon snores that she had grown accustomed to hearing over the years of living with Spike.
So imagine her surprise when the the only sound that could be heard echoing throughout the incredibly tacky Castle of Friendship was a sharp inhale followed by brief mutterings of the word Draven.
"Spike?" Twilight called out rising from her bed to check on her assistant.
As the Alicorn made her way down the crystal corridors that made up her new home the noise was growing louder, it had a raspy tone to it, but it was obviously her little dragon assistants voice.
"Spike are you okay?" She asked as she came up to his bedroom door, using her magic she opened it to reveal something very disturbing.
There snoring beneath the blankets that normally housed Spikes small frame was....something. It had Spikes body and if you just caught a passing glimpse you would probably think it was Spike. But as Twilight's eyes wandered to his head she instantly knew that whatever lay in that basket wasn't Spike.
Spike's normally scaly head was replaced by what looked like the head of a shaved ape. It had a metal head piece and a black mane that spiked up unnaturally, the two most noticeable features about the creature's head was the scar running down his right eye and the manchu mustache that occupied it's upper lip.
Approaching with caution, Twilight went to wake it up and whispered "S..Spike?" That turned out to be a mistake.
The Spike impostor awoke with a start it's eyes snapping opening as if it had been waiting for this one moment. The creature smiled a big toothy smile, showing his rows of sharp teeth.
it inhaled sharply before saying "Not Spike," standing up the creature moved it's claw through it's picture perfect hair "Draaaaaaaaaaaaven."
This caused Twilight Sparkle, Princess of friendship, Element of Magic, and all around problem solver of Equestria to run out of her shitty castle screaming in terror.
She ran as fast as she could not knowing where to go, but that's when she remembered that she was supposed to meat with her friends at Sugar Cube Corner today, Maybe they could help her. Making a swift turn as she passed the blocked off remains of her old home, she made it into the bakery, not noticing the whispers of Draven that the ponies she passed had been saying.
Opening the door and ringing the bell Twilight looked around until she spotted her friends at their usual table, they were all facing away from her but she thought nothing of it and went over to greet them.
"Girls something is seriously wrong with Spike," Twilight Began "His face had changed and he called him self Draven...whatever that means."
The girls ignored her, they simply continued to look at the wall causing Twilight to get a bit worried about them moving infront of them she was about to try and get their attention when she saw it, they had been Dravenized.
"Oh holy mother of Faust not you too." Twilight gasped, backing away as her friends got to their hooves and smiled the same toothy smile Spike had earlier.
"What's she talking about Draven?" Draven Jack spoke tilting his/her (I have no fucking clue) stetson back revealing her/his flowing spiked mane.
Draven Dash looked over to Draven Jack and shrugged, her own rainbow mane flowing in the wind that always followed Draven "I don't know Draven, I think Draven just needs to calm down and rub his sick stash that always helps me out when I'm not feelin the Draven." to emphasize Draven Dash began to rub her sick stash.
Twilight backed up trying to find a way to escape the madness only to bump into something, turning around she saw Draven Shy and Draven Pie looking at her with curious eyes but still smiling.
"Come on Draven, you know you want to rub that sick stash of yours." Draven Shy Spoke as her wing went to rub her pink stash while Draven Pie chewed on hers.
It was at this time that Dravinity....Dravenity? Draven Rarity decided to speak "Yes come now Draven darling, your mustache is looking very famished and in need of some rubbing."
Twilight's eye twitched, with a shout she teleported away towards the only place she knows would be safe from this madness, Castle Canterlot.
Running into the castle she noticed that her thought on safety had been wrong, all around ponies faces were replaced by the sharp tooth primates, all of them muttering words of Draven this and mustache that. She was starting to lose hope that the madness had reached her former mentor Princess Celestia but she shook her head away from the notion, Celestia was the most powerful pony in Equestria, surely she wouldn't let something like this effect her. Turning the corner that led to the chambers of Celestia and Luna she saw the back of the princess of the nights head.
With a smile she called out to her fellow princess, Luna didn't have the spiked hair or hanging mustache as far as Twilight could tell from behind, but that too was a lie.
Turning her head Draven Luna smiled and waved a hoof at the princess of magic "Greetings young Draven, How goes your day? I see you've been neglecting your mustache."
Twilight almost tripped over her own hooves before righting her self and running past the dravenized princess 'don't look back Twilight, don't look back.' she thought as she finally made it to Celestia's chambers, checking to see if the magic wards that the princess always had kept up around her room were still intact, meaning that if the princess was inside she would be protected from this infection.
Twilight quickly opened the door and slammed it shut, not bothering to apologize as she reinforced the wards. She then turned to face her teacher who had her back turned to her pupil and her nose in a book.
"Why hello Twilight," Celestia began closing her book and turning to face her student. Her face was normal, oh praise the heavens it was normal "What brings you here?"
Twilight took deep breaths trying to calm down, she ran up to the princess of the sun and nuzzled her leg "Oh princess, thank the stars your okay!"
Celestia tilted her head "Of course I'm Ok, why Wouldn't I be?"
"It was awful princess!" Twilight began "Everypony in Ponyville had these faces and they kept going on and on about this thing called Draven and..." Twilight was stopped by Celestia putting a hoof on her shoulder to calm her down.
The princess looked at her pupil with a protective smile "Don't worry Draven, everything is going to be okay."
Twilight smiled and nuzzled deeper into her teachers side until what the princess had said clicked in her head "What did you say Princess?" she asked
"I said don't worry Draven, everything is going to be okay." The princess smiled even bigger showing sharp teeth, the same sharp teeth everypony else had.
"Celestia?" Twilight whimpered as she backed away from her teacher.
Celestia stood stalking closer to Twilight her face morphing into the same one that everypony else had on "Silly Draven," her voice changing into the deeper and much much manlier version of Draven's "It's not Celestia, its" She ran a hoof through her spiked up hair "Draaaaaaaaaaven"
This caused Twilight to scream, only to find herself in her bed, back inside her shitty castle, sweating profusely.
Catching her breath she sighed "Oh thank Celestia it was just a dream..." Twilight got up and went to fix up her hair, using magic to brush her mane into it's spiked up shape she looked into the mirror and smiled the toothy grin of Draven, her mustache flowing in the wind.
"After all, Equestria can only handle one Draven."
