Twilight Sparkle kept hearing ghosts. It terrified her, as ghosts would terrify any filly, and all she could do about it was hide under her covers and hope that the ghosts did not find her. She could hear them even now, their voices coming out of the air vent near her bed, and a frightening squealing screeching sound that she could only imagine was the ghosts trying to claw their way through the air vents. If ghosts had claws.
She didn’t hear them every night, which was puzzling. She only heard them when her parents were gone, and the ghosts knew exactly when to strike. Twilight was all alone in her room. She could of course go and find Cadance and her brother Shining Armor, but they had put her to bed with instructions that she was to be a good filly and stay in bed, and more than anything else in the whole wide world, Twilight Sparkle wanted to be a good filly.
Even now, the ghosts continued with their groaning and moaning, their horrible filly shredding talons squealing as they crawled through the air vents.
Twilight meeped with fear and pulled the blankets up over her head, hoping that by hiding under the blankets, the ghosts wouldn’t find her. It just might work.
“Twilight honey, you look awful,” Twilight Velvet said to her foal. Twilight Sparkle really did look awful. Her eyes were red and bloodshot and she looked as though she had not slept.
“I heard the ghosts again mama,” Twilight said, cringing as she said it.
“Twilight Sparkle, how many times have your father and I told you, there are no such things as ghosts! It is your overactive imagination! You need to stop reading so much and go outside and play more!” Twilight Velvet scolded.
Twilight shrank down in her chair and hid behind her cereal bowl. She could see just enough of her father over the edge of the newspaper to see that one of his eyebrows was raised. A raised eyebrow was pretty much the worst punishment Twilight Sparkle could think of, and now her day was ruined. Her father’s raised eyebrow was the ultimate message of disapproval, and Twilight Sparkle wanted to cry for letting her father down. More than anything else in the whole wide world, Twilight Sparkle wanted to be a good filly.
Twilight Sparkle felt her tummy gurgle. She hated tummy gurgles. Especially tummy gurgles brought on by fear. Her parents were leaving tonight, going off to see a play. Cadance was here, and there would be boardgames, ice cream, and maybe even a record on the hi-fi if she was well behaved.
And then, she would be sent to bed.
After that, the ghosts would begin their haunting.
And filly Twilight Sparkle was very very afraid.
Twilight Sparkle said nothing to her parents. She knew better. Her mother might raise her voice, or worse, her father’s eyebrow might elevate. Twilight Sparkle sucked in a panicked gulp of air just thinking about it, grabbed a pillow off of the sofa, and hugged it to her chest. Smarty Pants was upstairs in her room, and the ghosts were no doubt up there already, waiting for her parents to leave. She needed Smarty Pants, but she didn’t dare go upstairs. The ghosts might get bold. Alas, poor Smarty Pants was going to have to fend for herself.
“OoooooOOOOoooooOOOOh!”
“Squeak. Squeak. Screech.”
“AAAaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaAAAaaah!”
“Squeak. Screech. Squeak.”
“UNGH UNGH UNGH!”
“Screech. Squeak. Screech.”
“SQUISH! SQUELCH! SQUISH! HUUUUNF!”
Twilight could only assume that the ghosts had crawled out of muddy graves. She could hear wet squelching sounds tonight, and filly Twilight Sparkle shivered. She hated mud. Mud came from outside and there was nothing worse than outside. She just knew that the ghosts knew exactly what it took to scare her. Muddy ghosts had to be the very worst sort of ghost there was.
“AAH AAH AAH HOOOWAAAAAH!”
Filly Twilight Sparkle nearly peed the bed and let out a shrill squeal. The ghosts sounded close in the air vents tonight. Twilight Sparkle briefly pondered being a bad filly and running to her brother’s room, but she did not. Because more than anything else in the whole wide world, Twilight Sparkle wanted to be a good filly.
She pulled the blankets up over her head and assumed the position.
“Twilight Sparkle, were you up all night reading books under your covers again?” Twilight Velvet demanded.
Twilight Sparkle considered her options. Lying was bad. But so was telling the truth. She felt conflicted.
“You listen to me Twilight, you tell me the truth,” Twilight Velvet commanded.
“I heard the ghosts again last night!”
Twilight Sparkle cringed seconds after the words left her mouth. More than anything, she wanted to melt into a little purple puddle of pony upon the tile floor.
“Twilight Sparkle! There are no such things as ghosts! I am taking away your library card!” Twilight Velvet snapped.
“NO!” Twilight Sparkle begged.
“Don’t argue with your mother,” Night Light said to his daughter. He lowered his paper.
Filly Twilight Sparkle’s squeal filled the kitchen when she saw the slow methodical raising of her father’s wicked eyebrow of filly shaming raise up almost to his hairline. She had never been so soundly thrashed by her father over anything she had ever done previous. And she had told the truth.
Twilight Sparkle thought about protesting her punishment, but she said nothing. More than anything else in the whole wide world, Twilight Sparkle wanted to be a good filly. And sassing her father was not something a good filly did.
Twilight Sparkle could feel her neurosis creeping closer. She knew what neurosis was, yes indeedy. Neurosis is what made you a unicorn, and being a unicorn is what caused neurosis. So did a father’s unwarranted eyebrow assault. Foal abuse… Her parents were just now stepping out the door, off to watch an astronomy presentation at the observatory.
Twilight Sparkle had a plan. “I’m going to bed early, goodnight,” Twilight Sparkle said in a squeaky strained voice. She blinked one eye, and then the other blinked several seconds later. One ear flickered alarmingly. She stared at her foalsitter Cadance and her big brother best friend forever Shining Armor.
Both of them shrugged and looked rather happy, which completely escaped Twilight’s notice. She took off at a slow trot for the stairs, the corner of her mouth convulsing wildly.
“G’night Twily!” Shining Armor shouted.
“Such a good filly! I am going to tell your mother and your father that you were the best filly in the whole wide word tonight!” Cadance praised.
Twilight did not hear her foalsitter’s praise.
Twilight Sparkle clutched Smarty Pants close to her as she hid under her brother’s bed. It was dirty under here, it smelled funny, and there were some pretty strange magazines that had hardly any words in them but a lot of weird pictures of mares doing funny things with vegetables. The mares were stupid. That wasn’t how you ate cucumbers or carrots. You peed out of that end. As for the mare pooping out a whole carrot, she needed to spend more time chewing her food Twilight assumed.
Twilight froze when she heard the squeak of the door hinges. In a moment, she heard the bed squeak and the sounds of Cadance’s shrill giggles. She could hear her brother’s heavy breathing, and then breathing turned to grunting.
The whole bed was shaking.
“AaaaaAAAAAoooooooh!”
The ghosts? Twilight Sparkle asked of herself.
“Huuuunf! Shiny!”
“Squish splat squish...”
Muddy ghosts.
“Squeak!”
Crawling through the air vents.
Twilight Sparkle slapped herself. She felt so stupid. Cadance was clearly helping her brother with his wrestling practice for school. The bed above her squeaked and began to bounce up and down faster and faster. Twilight Sparkle smiled in relief. No wonder her brother made it into varsity wrestling. He had a powerful alicorn helping him train. In that moment, she loved Cadance just a little bit more for being so giving and helping her brother be all that he could be for the secondary school wrestling team.
“Mother, father, I wanted to apologise,” Twilight Sparkle announced at breakfast.
“You do?” Twilight Velvet asked.
“Well then, do go on,” Night Light encouraged.
“About the ghosts. It was my overactive imagination. What I was actually hearing was my foalsitter Cadance helping my brother Shining Armor with his wrestling moves. I hid under his bed last night because I was so scared.”
Author's Note
If you see a typo, let me know.
And if this made you laugh, even just a little bit, let me know. I'm feeling miserable, and I thought the best way to help myself was by making people laugh, so please, just a brief note letting me know would be most appreciated.
I hope you had fun.
