whats a matter? Chicken!?
It was a quiet and normal day in Ponyville as the mane 6 all gathered at the farmers market to hang out in the hopes that the fate of the world doesn’t fall into their hooves at least one day the freakin week.
Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity and Twilight made up most of the pack while Rainbow Dash flew overhead and Pinkie Pie bounced along on point.
These ponies needed no long boring introduction because if you don’t know who they are or what they look like then why are you reading this!!!!
Anyway they were all wondering aimlessly like a lord of the rings movie plot looking for something to do.
“Gee Twilight I wish we had something to do,” Applejack stated, breaking the silence.
“You could re narrate the story a little more, ya know? state the obvious and pretend you have a place in the plot when we'll all know you don’t,” Twilight said sarcastically.
Applejack looked at the ground in remorse.
“Hey, hey,....I didn't mean to snap,” Twilight said apoljecticly “Its just you're such a useless character,....like spike.”
“HEY!” Spike shouted
“Come back when you actually do something,” Twilight snapped.
Spike lifted a claw and opened his mouth to say something.
“And it isn’t a desperate attempt from the writers to justify your existence and/or your fault it happened in the first place.”
Spike lowered his claw, closed his mouth and moped like AJ.
“Have some respect for yourself, Rarity even has more episodes than you!”
“Hey!”
But before Twilight could be a cunt any longer something happened,
Pinkie stopped bouncing and began to shudder,.......
That's what happened.
“Pinkie what the F***!” Rainbow shouted, taking off her sunglasses.
“Rainbow!! age 10 Rating remember?” Twilight screamed.
“Your OCCness made my OCCness come out,” Rainbow said defensively.
“Whateves, what's wrong with Pinkie?”
Pinkie stood completely still in front of the back,
“It has happened,”
“What's happened?”
“The party to end all parties, we must go!” Pinkie shouted, then sped off into the direction of her home.
The pack followed Pinkie pie to her room in sugarcube corner, flying up the stairs and finding Pinkie stuck under her own bed with her rear sticking up in the air.
Fluttershy blushed while Rainbow put and unwelcomed elbow into Rarities side.
“I got it!” Pinkie shouted, popping up with a small white box.
“Got what?” Rainbow asked.
Pinkie wasted no time, she opened the box and was soon wielding a bedazzled pink vibrator.
Everypony Gulped, except for Rainbow who reiterated on her previous statement.
“Pinkie what the f**k!”
Twilight no longer cared about the shows rating, “P-pinkie what are you going to do with that thing?”
“What it was meant for,” Pinkie answered.
Everypony shielded their eyes and covered their buttholes with their tails while Pinkie waved the vibe around in the air.
And cut a hole in the space time continuum.
Feeling the disturbance as a slice of their world disappeared and gave way to a portal to another dimension.
“Come 'on!” Pinkie yelled, jumping into the portal.
“I’m out,” Rainbow stated.
“Me to,” Applejack agreed as both mares turned to leave.
Pinkie popped from the portal and grabbed the two mares and drug them into the portal, who in turn drug everyone else in, after a few bright lights the group woke up to the scene of complete and utter chaos.
A unspeakable collection of bipedal creatures danced wildly before them.
“HHUURRR,”
“Thats the ticket!”
“YweeeeeewOooo!!”
“Happy birthday tiny baby game!!!”
“You WILL dance maggots and you will LIKE IT!!”
“Yeah YEAh YEAH!!”
“Wooo! OktoberfeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeest!!
“Holy dooly what a whopping good party!”
“The forbidden dance!”
“What's up?” Pinkie shouted, the nine mercenaries of TF industries stopped partying and stared at the mares.
“WOOOOO!”
“RIGHT ON YA!”
“COOL!”
All the humans cheered at the ponies and continued partying.
“WOoO!HOOW” Pinkie dived into the mass of partying aliens. The other mares were reluctant, finding that it was a social gathering and that pinkie trusted the creatures, they parted a bit to mingle.
Rarity sat at a side table, trying to figure out if she was brave enough to try the punch when a man in a pinstripe suit slid up next to her, giving here a lazy drunken stare.
A stare Rarity knew all too well given the tramp she was.
“Do c-come here,....*Burp often?” Spy asked.
“Considering I'm a equine from another dimension and you're a human from another,...no,” Rarity said in a tone that killed Spy’s erection.
Spy mourned the loss of his stiffy and drunkenly sauntered away with his pride intact, just before he fell over wasted and soiled himself.
“I give up,..I really do,” Rarity sighed.
“Can you feel the schadenfreude?” Medic shouted, before passing out on Rarity’s table.
Rarity then took a drink of punch without thinking and passed out and soiled herself on her chair.
“I FEEL ALIVE!!!” Heavy shouted, face covered in a fine white powder.
“YYEEEEAAHHHH!!!” Pinkie shouted, face covered in a similar powder “You FU*Ked up americon!” Pinkie then head butted heavy, causing blood to spew from his ears.
“AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!” Heavy bellowed, then started congaing around the room, Pinkie in tow.
Demo however was tripping out on his special-scrumpy-with-heroin-in-it on the floor when he spotted something.
It was Pinkies interdimensional vibrator! He turned it one and chuckled, he knew exactly what to do with this.
A collection of sad looking elderly mercs sat at a table in a drab colored base, all nine of them moped on what was supposed to be a very happy day.
In the center of the bad party stood a pile of torn packaging, and a tag that said.
appreciate what you did 17 years ago
here's a Hat
-Saxton Hale
it was a typed note, indicating Saxton didn’t even care about the previous mercs, no one did.
“Bet those Tf2 guys are having a blast,” Said tfc Soldier.
“Bet they are two mate,” Said tfc Demo
“Just ain’t fair, we were first, its not even their games birthday, but everyone else thinks it is, they're just the sequel, we never got taunts, we never got updates, so how can we party with just one hat?” Tfc Engie added.
“We just sit here and wait,” tfc Heavy growled, “Someone will come and fight us.”
“Warning-enemy-in-base,” Said a very boring and robotic voice.
“See?” tfc heavy smirked, all the mercs got ready for the fight they had been waiting for.
A single enemy scout sprinted through the front door and ran straight into the wall where he stayed, sprinting endlessly into the wall like a idiot.
“They just sent another bot, they always just send bots,” Sniper said with sadness.
The team groaned and continued their sad celebration. “No point, it took the las one 2 days to find the flag,” Sniper added.
Before another word was said, a small pink rip in space itself opened just above the table.
Tf2 Demo popped his head up, examining the room. His head turned to the hat on the table.
“CEE!” Demo shouted, before snatching the hat with a chuckle and returning back through the portal.
The nine tfc merc stared at the empty spot on the table,..... tfc scout buried his head into his arms and began to sob.
Author's Note
why does tfc never get any love?
no regrets I did it for the lols
Sequel?
