Caspian Border

by Nova Critical

Rating: teen
Tags: Octavia, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Caramel, Random, Crossover, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1144

A C4 addict takes her friends to a warzone, Oh Octavia, what have you done?

A C4 addict takes her friends to a warzone, Oh Octavia, what have you done?

(Written for my friends, Chad, Chase, Ian and Brandon. But more so for the first three, not really Brandon.)

Published 2012-04-17 21:14:19 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-17 21:14:19 UTC

Nopony Plays the Objectives

Hooves on the steering wheel, Octavia sped over a small hill on the edges of the battlefield, her Growler ITV shook and screeched in metallic protest as it hit the ground. The yellow pony sitting in the passenger seat gave out a cheer.

"Whoa! Octavia! That was sick!"

Caramel had been fighting alongside Octavia for a while now. She wished she could say he was useful. He never revived when you wanted him to and he always said the stupidest things.

"I swear to Celestia, if you do not turn that damn music off, I will END you Caramel." Octavia spat out, she could barely call it music, it was just a bunch of blaring annoying horns. At least Vinyl's music was somewhat enjoyable, but this was a crime. Caramel said that a select group of humans tended to listen to it, though Octavia couldn't fathom why these "Mecksacans" would be so masochistic to subject themselves to this.

"Yeah, Caramel, shut it off, it's distracting." said a voice over their radio headsets. It was Bon Bon. She was piloting the AH-1Z Viper. Caramel must have also been playing it over the comm. Idiot.

"We're trying to fly." said Lyra, who was acting as gunner in Bon Bon's helicopter.

"OK, fine, geez." Caramel said, turning off the irritating "music".

Octavia calmed herself down, as she drove over the next hill, she turned to the yellow stallion, "So, we're almost at the gas station, you ready?"

Caramel said nothing.

She tried again, "Are you ready?"

Still nothing.

"CARAMEL!!!!"

"Oh, hey, what's up?"

"...are you ready...?"

"Of course I'm ready, I was waiting on you dude."

That's it. Octavia thought. Lyra and Bon Bon spotted an enemy T-90 at the gas station and had made a pass on it, they said it was disabled but an engineer was making repairs. Looking at her precious hood ornaments, Octavia scrubbed the plan of driving the Growler into the tank. She had something much better in mind.

They drove onto the road, heading straight for the tank. It was still looking up, distracted by Bon Bon's earlier assault upon it.

Perfect.

Caramel began to get excited as they closed in on the T-90, but before they reached it, Octavia made a sudden turn and aimed the jeep at the gas station. She jumped out and let it coast in between the pumps. With lightning speed she pulled out her C4 detonator and blew the plastic explosives on the hood of the jeep. The gas station blew up in a spectacular explosion of fire and smoke, but best of all, Caramel was still in the jeep when it had blown up.

[Caramel] IS NO MORE

The first noises that came in on her headset was the laughter of the two ponies in the attack helicopter. Octavia wanted to join in, but the T-90 was still alive, and the huge explosion had drawn its attention to her. She didn't have many options, so, C4 in hoof, she sprinted at the tank. It quickly began to reverse and shot a shell right over her head. The tank was too fast, it had gained enough distance for it to fire another shell with impunity and Octavia had only placed two C4 packs on it.

Before it could shoot, Octavia turned and ran into the nearest building. The tank fired, destroying the wall she was just hiding behind. It kept firing, hoping to collapse the building on top of her.

Suddenly Caramel materialized behind her.

"Heyyy Octavia, that wasn't very nic- Oh my goodness what is going on!?"

Today is being too good to me. The gray mare thought as another genius plan formed in her head.

"Okay Caramel, this is important, stay in here! I'm going to run out and C4 the tank, if he gets me, you revive me, got it?" Octavia said, doing her best to sound grave.

"Yeah, OK, I got it."

He is so stupid.

Octavia sprinted toward the nearest window, planting a C4 charge on the wall next to it. As she jumped out the tank blew down another wall. Once she was sure she was a safe distance away, she detonated the C4. Caramel gave a confused yell, and the building collapsed.

[Octavia] TEAMKILL [Caramel]

Running around the corner, Octavia looked at the tank, disappointed. It was charred black and on fire.

"Damn it Lyra! You took my kill!!!"

The gunner mare just laughed, and Bon Bon spoke up, "You were kind of busy killing Caramel so we took care of the tank for you." Her calm voice laced with amusement.

Once the Gas station was captured, Octavia made her way towards the hilltop, using the small forest as cover. Halfway through the forest, Caramel materialized behind her again.

"I don't know what I did wrong." Was all he said.

They waded through the river, hoping nopony would see them. When they reached the hilltop, it seemed deserted, but they weren't capturing it. Octavia began to look around, and spotted a sniper perched awkwardly on a rock, shooting towards the checkpoint. Sneaking up behind him, she took out her C4 and dropped a charge on him.

"PUTTIN' DOWN SOME C4, GONNA BLOW THESE MOTHERFUCKERS UP!!!"

What the hell?! Octavia really didn't mean to yell that.

The sniper turned around and began to get up, but it was too late, Octavia blew the C4, killing him and seriously wounding her. She ran into the largest building at the hilltop. Well, she actually just blew up the wall and jumped inside the building. Same thing.

She looked around for Caramel and saw him kill two enemies.

"Hey Caramel! Get in here! We need to capture this objective!"

The yellow pony quickly made his way into the structure.

"Caramel, you need some ammo?" Octavia said mischievously, dropping an ammunition crate next to a trio of red cylinders.

"Uhhh, sure, why not?" The oblivious yellow stallion said as he made his way to the ammo crate.

He noticed the lone charge of C4 on the cylinders and was going to sprint away, but as with the sniper, it was too late.

Half the building crumbled and was destroyed as the combined explosion of the C4 and the red canisters blew Caramel sky high.

[Caramel] IS NO MORE

Laughing hysterically, Octavia grabbed the dog tags around her neck, one read "C4 Kills: 1650"

She sighed. She didn't want that as a dog tag. She wanted a dog tag that said how many times she killed Caramel with C4.

By then, Caramel was sufficiently mad, so by the time he materialized behind Octavia, she was at the checkpoint. Once he spawned, all he saw was her sprinting out of the building he was in. Looking around, he saw six C4 charges all placed meticulously on the walls.

"Oh Horseapples....."