Special thanks to The Cake Devil for editing this chapter.

*Knock knock*

"One second, just a minute!" The forever panicky voice of Twilight Sparkle frantically yells, from behind the enormous blue prism castle doors. Followed by the sounds of crashing pottery and moving furniture. You stand a respectful distance by the maw of the castle archway, leaning on your carved wooden oak crutch for support. Your leg was faring much better these past few months than it had before, but it was still causing you discomfort when left standing for too long, without rest. Such was the severity of the break. At least your arm was pretty much healed. However, despite your protests, which were quite often, they still refused to take the cast off, which was starting to become rather irritating.

Stupid hot friggin’ cast , you grumble mentally as you twist the constrictive material around on your arm. ... Maybe I should just get a saw and…nah, on second thoughts, better not actually.

You reach over and twist the thing again, hoping, in vain, it will scratch the unbearable itchy.

Jesus! My wrist never got itchy like this before, where is a fork when you need one? Damn it where’s Gilda’s’ claws when you actually need them? Gah, this is going to kill me!

You drop your arm in frustrated futility, looking around out of boredom and a need to distract yourself. You see a few ponies dotted around the landscape, making their way through town across the dirt road behind you. Some of them were walking along and/or happily whistling a tune or greeting one another as they passed around one another, as they went about their busy day.

One or two of them had become more familiar with you as of late and didn't avert their gaze as you lock eyes with them, like many often did once before, one of them even waves to you happily from across the way.it was an odd experience that you were still getting used to, but it was far from unwelcome.

To say these last few months had been easy was like saying pushing a bolder all the way up to the top of Canterlot was a pleasant stroll. Sleep had been relegated to a hobby, one you had no time for. You stroke your ragged beard threading your fingers through the hair that had culminated into an impressive size, reaching almost to your Adam's apple, as you watch the parade of colourful denizens of Ponyville.

You frown as you try and pull some of the tangled knots from the beard, another thing you just didn't have the time to clean up, and the less said about your hair the better. It would probably be better to tackle it with hedge trimmers at this point. You just didn't have the time to clean the mess up.

Thankfully, Celestia had some spare photos of you to use for the media news clippings, she had her staff take them when you had first arrived, for the purpose of studying your biology or something along those lines. If the press had taken any of you now, you would look like a crazed, yet well washed hobo.

The myriad of meetings in different places and press interviews, not to mention half the town had now taken more of a friendly or indifferent interest in you, in no small thanks to Twilight and her friend’s interventions, had left you and Gilda little time to yourselves. The mayor had even made a point to include you both in to her local council meetings with the some of the more venerable member of the community’s Pony watch, which was basically the exact same as neighbourhood watch with a few added things to discuss (I.e. Pegasus flight restrictions.) It was actually quite stunning that they didn’t actually call it neighbourhood watch just so they could address the neigh in neighbourhood like they did with everything pun related thing here, but regardless it was a pleasant change.

The addition to add you both into the watch had been kind of her, even if it left you completely out of your depth. You never entertained the idea of going to one of those neighbourhood watch things back on Earth, and that hadn’t changed here. But you both did what you could to improve your standing with the town and things seemed to be moving smoother and quicker than before. Even if Gilda might have 'accidentally forgot' to go pretty much every single time. And even if the pace of change was more like a glacier now than a mountain. Once you were able to get back to your veterinarian practice, things would likely go back to a slightly altered normality, something you couldn’t wait to return to. But for now, you had work to do and one of those was meeting up with Twilight.

You snap out of your daydreaming, the sound of the lock tumbler clicking on the castle doors, drawing your attention towards a lavender muzzle leaning out to investigate, quickly followed by the rest of her.

"Oh sorry, had to get things ready busy, busy, busy." She greets with a slight eye twitch.

Oh hell she’s got that look again, wonder what it is this time.

"Sorry I’m late, I had to walk Gilda over to Fluttershy for her weekly check up and it took longer than I thought. She’s having a hard time walking that far these days, you know, with the baby so close and everything, it’s been hard on her legs, well, harder than mine anyway." You say with a disarming smile, striking the crutch lightly down on the floor for effect. The feeling of the crutch in your hand and the limp in your leg creates a sickening feeling of frustration in your stomach, but you push through it, suppress it and bury it.

Twilight looks at the crutch with an uneasy expression before looking back up at you with her ears spayed back. "Its fine, its fine, your only twenty six minutes late, but I’m sure we can fit all ninety two questions into the next thirty four minutes, then I’ll still be on time to give the paper two hours early to the princesses as usual, haha, haha." You wince away from the scary grin she gives you, that shows far too much teeth to be anything but unnerving.

"Um…Okay Twilight, do you want to take a deep breath, or a walk or something, you’re doing that funny thing again, and not in the ‘haha’ sort of way." you inform her, unsure of how to react to that face.

If Twilight heard you she didn’t show it as she opens the door further beckoning you in. "Come on, we're wasting time." She commands latching onto your hand with her hoof, tugging you forward before you have any time to react. She pulls you at a pace you can’t keep up with and you soon trip on your own crutch, and falling onto your bad knee, letting out a small hissing sound as the pain shoots down to your ankle and simultaneously up to your thigh, causing you to grit your teeth as you land on the hard crystal floor.

“Ah, Jesus, Twilight slow down!” You hiss at her yanking your hand from her hoof.

Immediately Twilight stops her incessant mumbling, seemingly snapping out of her ‘crazy time’ with a gasp.

Twilight stops turning back to you as you gain your balance, hobbling your way onto the hall. "Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it—

You rub your leg looking back at her as she stumbles over her words, in the moment you throw her venomous glare, frustration and anger at your damaged, useless, leg and the mare who just made it worse. But as you see mares face, one of genuine remorse, and notice her bottom lip begin to quiver, you bit your lip mitigating the anger. You look down to take a few deep breaths, before looking back up again. "Sorry for snapping, Twilight, it’s just, could you be more careful, my legs, not having one of its good days."

Her ears go back even further than before as she frowns and takes a hesitant step towards you. “...Would you like something to help you, I know magic isn't much use, but I have some new tea I'm experimenting on with Zecora, as the testing shows it’s proving to be both natural and nutritious, even if the taste is a bit bitter."

You nod. Thanking Twilight as she form up beside you letting you use her as leverage to hoist yourself back up. "Sure, as long as it doesn't taste like that last one you gave me, I swear I can still taste the bark."

Twilight thinks for a moment before offering a small sheepish smirk "That's because it was bark, an extract taken from the base of the Tutus tree, that grows in the shade of Canterlot castle. It's the only tree to grow in the shade of the mountain, without any sun. It has amazing healing qualities. The tea you drank was supposed to be both healthy and as I'm informed delicious, it was also supposed to be boiled for four hours, but was only boiled for two hours, because somepony moved it to make hot chocolate!" She yelled over her shoulder quickly signalling with her chin over to a small lighter purple and emerald green coloured figure, splayed out on a mountain of silk covered cushions at the end of the room.

The figure lifts its head up from the cushion, rolling its eyes. "How many times can a guy say my bad?" Spike exaggeratedly moans back, folding the corner of his comic book so that one of his emerald eyes was visible to Twilight and yourself.

"Once would be nice." Twilight chides back, walking over to a set of chairs around a rustic sized wooden table, with a deep scarlet fabric sheet embroidered with floral ivy patterns on the edges, draped over it. One of many that dotted around the enormous rectangular shaped hall, that sported two dimensional stalagmites leading upwards flanked by golden arches that acted as the source of natural light sources for the room. The whole place was breath taking even after this many visits.

"Hey man, how's it going?" You great behind Twilight, giving Spike a smirk and a quick wave.

Spike turns to your direction, giving you a friendly smile in return. He throws his well-read and battered comic over his shoulder onto one of the pillows and walks over to you, and bumps his fist to yours. "Not bad dude, been a slow day but I made due. Uh... How's the pain?" He says with a hint of worry in his voice as he eyes the crutch by your side.

"Oh fine, I left her with Fluttershy" you joke back with an impish grin. Getting sympathy was nice for what it was worth, but you sort of wanted your friends to start treating you normally again.

Spike tries to keep a straight face but it only lasts for a few seconds before he clutches his sides falling on his back chuckling heartily at your joke. You thought it odd that the little joke got that much of a reaction, but then as a kid this was probably the first time he was hearing these old gags.

God, it’s nice to have some guy company for a change, even if he is still a little kid.

You here a grumpy tutting sound by your side at the table.

"That wasn't very nice, she's your marefreind you know." Twilight grumpily responds, clearing the table with her magic.

You turn your impish grin towards her. "You think that's bad? You should hear the things she says about me."

"You have a weird relationship dude." Spike chips in, catching his breath and getting back on his stubby legs.

You shrug your shoulder, "eh, you'll understand when you’re my age."

"Actually, Spike will just be entering his pre-teen years by that time, dragon’s age differently to us."

You tap your chin. "Yeah, I read that in one of my books somewhere, but I just know this little man here's going to be batting the dragonesses away with a stick by that time."

Spike sticks his forked tongue out like he just ate something disgustingly sour. "No way, girls are gross, they're full of cooties."

Twilight seems more than amused by his declaration looking at him with as mischievous glint in her eyes. “Oh really? That’s not what you said about Rarity, even after she started going steady."

Spike looks down at his claws tapping them together with a blush. "Yeah, well, she's the exception, she probably already got her cootie shot anyway."

Both you and Twilight laugh at that, watching as Spike blushes harder with a cute little grumpy pout, trying to maintain some shred of maturity.

"Spike, can you go fetch that tea I was brewing in the kitchen for our guest, his leg is still sore.” Twilight asks giving the little guy leave of the conversation.

That seems to snap Spike from his mood "Sure thing!" The little drake yells with a swift salute, before racing off to the kitchen. You can't help but watch him go, it was refreshing seeing something walk on two legs for once. Any form of normality was refreshing, it’s probably why you liked him to begin with, that and he was a goddamn fire breathing dragon.

That reminds me, I need to get ask Twilight if my order is in for the second addition of Mocking jays ‘Dragons and Dragonesses: An in depth analysis of the inner workings and biology of Eques giants.’ That First edition was like reading a super in depth fantasy novel, I need that second edition in my collection now!

Snapping yourself away from your nostalgic thoughts, you limp your way over towards Twilight with determination and dignity your leg would allow you to muster, something you’ve been working on since the incident. Setting yourself down on the opposite side of the table parallel to Twilight, you placing the crutch across your lap leaning back into the chair.

Twilight clears her throat with a small cough. "So, first things first, how has everything been this week?" She begins levitating a piece of paper over towards herself and dipping a quill into a black pot of ink, before folding her fore hooves together on the table, giving you her full attention.

You shrug. "Fine, pretty much."

Twilight begins to write on the piece of paper in front of you, as you roll your eyes and grunt.

"You know, you don't have to always write everything I say."

She smiles looking up at you. "On the contrary, everything you say is just as important as the things you don't say. For example, you constantly need to mask your true feelings behind a Veneer of nonchalantness, it’s something you always seem to do."

You huff at her and tap your crutch with your index finger a new, but soon to be inveterate action. "Jesus, I thought this was a report, when did you become a psychiatrist?"

Twilight smirk rises, as she scratches more words down onto her paper, before dipping it back into the ink. "I've read a few things, perks of living in a library for so many years." She adds with a cheery disposition.

"Okay, so run this by me again, because I'm still not getting this, why are you writing this report again?" Of course you knew the answer, it was blatantly obvious. Twilight was an altruist at heart, true. But it was not like she was doing this because it came to her one day in a dream. Celestia's hooves were all over this. Not that that was anything knew. At least it wasn’t quite as nefarious as it had once been, but it still annoyed you that it was hidden under the veneer of Twilight simply trying to keep tabs on your day to day life. And not some sort of mental assessment. Which it most certainly was. No matter how much she denied it. In fact, it had become something of a game for you now. You would play mental gymnastics with Twilight every time you sat through one of these meetings and try to get her to admit what this was.

A therapy session.

And as always, this meeting was no different. You always took the opportunity to tease Twilight for making you do this every Thursday.

Something about her getting worked up was just so funny for you, you couldn’t help but do it. The plan today was to somehow get her to actually say ‘therapy’ instead of ‘friendship report’, which should just about do it.

"Well, once again it comes under a number of different factors, for one it is good to detail your experiences as an immigrant in Equestria. Also it’s to assist in our understanding of humans, even if it’s only specifically you, but it will give us all some sort of basis to work with, should any more humans find themselves in Equestria. And the last reason was more selfish than the others." She finishes with a chuckle setting the quill back up into her magic.

You lift your brow up at her. "Oh, and what's that?"

"I'm curious about you, not many ponies act like you do, heck not many anything I can even think of acts like you do."

"So you’re saying that when I start eating hay and bucking trees with my feet we can stop this?" you smugly quip back, enjoying the look on Twilight's face as she rolls her eyes.

“Can we not do this today, please?”

You resign to let her continue however, you had places to be and bugging her only meant it would take longer, so you decided to keep your wit to a minimum today. "Fine, I'll keep playing along, so, where were we at last?" You capitulate with a wave of your hand.

Twilight shifts a few papers around, skim reading them all. "Hmm last we checked you were leaving the hospital, or was their anything else that happened that you wanted to talk about.

You scratch the stubble on your chin, humming for a second in thought. The hospital had been, for the most part, a boring and painful experience of healing and tedious bouts of muscular therapy, broken up by moments of sporadic craziness.

"Well some insane Pegasus reporter broke into my room for a one on one interview with Manehattan post, asking me what my plans were for world domination and if my blood was also a powerful acid that could cut through steel."

"Yes I have that already documented and so does the guard report."

You tap your chin in mock thought. “I still think it would be some sort of giant death ray, only problem is I wouldn’t know where to put it, though.”

“Zoning laws would require you place it beyond the boundaries of Ponyville. Otherwise you would get petitions to have it taken down as it would become an eyesore to the rest of the residents.” Twilight retorts as she leaned back a bit, humouring you.

“Huh, I’ll keep that in mind, perhaps I’ll just stick with mutating some sort of giant H.P Lovecraft-esc squid creature, it’s more in my field of work anyway.”

“I’m sure Fluttershy wouldn’t mind it, regardless of how mutated it would be.” Twilight chuckled.

"Well its win win for everyone then... Okay... Uh well there was that time Pinkie came to celebrate my last stages of recovery, and by that I mean she fired a cannon full of cake all over me while I was still sleeping."

Twilight nods at you as if it was something to just take in stride when it came to her friends. You didn't know if her ability to just shrug off that level of crazy was normal, maybe there was something behind that, you thought she would try to study her crazy friends supernatural powers. But you guessed there was a reason why she didn’t "Yes I have that as well, oh on that note Pinkie told me she's still very sorry about that and asks for you to lift this speaking embargo you put her under, I'm still not sure how you did that."

You tap your nose with a smirk "I have my ways, and I told her that I'd do it once she and Gilda made up, or at least could stay in a room long enough to not start an all-out war, though that's more Gilda's problem, it should be a good bargaining chip should Pinkie back out in the last minute."

"So you mean when we go to Sugarcube corner this afternoon?"

You nod folding your arms across your chest. "Indeed."

Twilight taps the quill on the table a few times silently muttering to herself, what she had previously written, it had only been a few months but the stack of paper she had on you was almost intimidating. You wouldn't say you were a boring person by any stretch of the imagination. But for only three years of your life, she had written enough to fill at least three biographies and still had room for a dissertation to boot. "Okay, so that's about everything on that, let's go into your hospital visits a bit more. Anyone of note worth talking about?”

“Well there's a few names that come to mind, but they’re not all that particularly interesting, at least not to you anyway.”

Twilight dips the ink into the pot, wetting it in the black ink, she looks back at you expectedly with a smile as she awaits the first set of stories.

“Okay, uh, where to begin.”

"That was a sweet story." Twilight states giving you a warm smile. She had even set down her quill halfway through the story, apparently enraptured by your story telling ability.

You take a glass of water, chugging it down greedily, telling the tale left your throat parched. Maybe you shouldn't have started doing it in the voices but you stopped after the first minute when you could see twilight getting irritated, you didn't want to ruin the story.

"Yeah they're a nice couple, we’re having them over for dinner in a week as it happens, plus I think Scootaloo kept dropping hints about wanting to babysit. She keeps hinting at it every time the baby was mentioned, so that's pretty sweet. But, I think that might also be because she wants to spend more time with Ember, not that I mind, I’d be in the same boat if I was her.” You grin tapping your fingers around the side of your cane in thought.

However the happy memory is tainted somewhat by the reason as to which the family actually came to visit you to begin with.

“It’s just a shame about her, you know her brother, I know he thought I was attacking the little filly. But…”

“What happens to Snowfall Scratch has nothing to do with the mare herself, or even you for that matter. What happens in the courtroom will be a matter against the crown, even you can’t have a say in it really. This up and coming trial is an offset of the original trial and therefore falls under different circumstances.”

You nod your head solemnly, it had been months now but it still seemed that every time you turned your head something about that day came back to bite you. Your eyes drift down to the bit of wood in your lap and you subconsciously grimace.

Though with those months in mind. It lead to other ‘Problems’

It’s getting so real now, so close until I can hold her in my arms, I wonder if all dads to be feel like this, some weird mix between jumping for joy and wanting to throw up every time I think about the responsibilities. I wonder when I'll start making cheese dad joke, maybe it’s like a virus that spreads over the years, Jesus I hope not, Mom was bad, but Dad’s puns made me want to jump in front of traffic.

Thinking about the baby, you lean your head down to the side looking at the watch tied to your wrist, remembering that you had places to be and scary hormonal nine month pregnant Griffons to meet. "So is that about everything?"

“No, sorry we still need to complete around four more pages of the report before I can send it off, is there nothing else you can tell me, before we move on?”

Should I tell her about the part where me and Gilda christened the hospital bed when nobody was around… oh hell yes, Twilight might actually stop these all together if I did. But then again it would take about a few months before she would actually have the courage to look me in the eye and not blush herself to death. Actually, on second thought, nah, save that one for a rainy day. If I know this mare anything to do with sex is going to be a bombshell.

"Well Twilight that actually really just about sums everything up…for now"

Twilight flicks her ear. “Sorry what was that?”

“Nothing, nothing.” You say taking a sip of your tea, hoping it covered your mischievous grin.

Hmm. This is pretty good actually, and the dull throbbing stopped quite a bit. I wonder if she’ll let me take the cauldron once she’s done with it. Maybe it would even help Gilda, it’s all natural right, can't hurt the baby. I’ll have to enquire later when I get the time.

"Okay.” Twilight continues, “so, after the hospital, there was the council meeting in Canterlot. That preceded after the trial."

"Humans vs Snowdrop, as the papers are calling it. Doesn't really have the Roe vs Wade or Plessy vs Ferguson feel to the name does it?"

Twilight giggles at that, interestingly after so many meeting she had finally gotten a good grasp at some parts of human history, among other things in human culture.

Thank god there is at least someone in this world that will get my references to the twist to the original Star Wars movies...Besides Luna… Hmm, I should probably tell her the movies aren't actually a part the real Human history. Then again, it was in a galaxy far far away, long ago, who knows, it could have happened.

"No, but in terms of foreign immigration it’s just as important, it’s a sort of civil rights, if you think about it." Twilight answers.

"True,” you say draining the last of the tea as the thoughts of the original trail came to mind. “It’s funny they didn't really throw the book at them, like I thought they would. Even with testament from three princesses of this county and eye witnesses, from you’re, uh, Elements? I mean, premeditated assault, trespassing and battery of two guests of Equestria, one of which was pregnant, and they get Five years in prison and two thousand days of community service? It would be at least twenty to life back home." You shake your head, a guttural growl reverberates in your throat for just a moment, you were still livid at the group of assaulters. Your emotions even now were spiked to the point of blind fury towards the group. Evident by your vice grip on the wooden crutch.

Twilight nods understandingly, as she bit her lip in thought, no doubt going through Earth's penal systems in her mind compared to the ones held in Equestria. "I understand, when you put it that way, their crimes seem more than despicable. But, it was a fair trial and you have to remember that Equestria's judicial system is completely based on reforming, not punishing, like other countries it would be hypocritical if we sentenced them to life, but let Discord run free, considering all he's done, and I’m not suggesting Luna had any control over herself. But the horrors Nightmare Moon caused..."

You raise an eyebrow. “Wait, didn't you lot set Discord in stone for a thousand years and send Luna to the moon for the same amount of time?"

Twilight leans forward furrowing her brow. "Yes but that means very little to somepony like Discord and even really Luna. Besides, in Discords case, his crimes and reign of terror added up to much, much longer, if you were to stack them together. What I’m trying to get at here is it is all relative, it was a fair trial.”

You shake your head more to throw the poisonous emotions from you mind. "Say that when it's your kid on the line Twilight, it’s a very different story then."

Twilight opens her mouth to speak but decides to bite her tongue bringing a fresh paper over to her front scribbling, a few notes down you try and get a better look at the ‘assessment’ she was writing about you, but your damaged and still painful leg didn't allow that to happen sadly.

"…Let's get away from this unpleasantness for now shall we?”

You nod. “You read my mind, I didn't come here to get angry, I came here to tease you and wait for Gilda to finish chilling out with Shy.”

Twilight grabs a paper lifting up to her face she brings it back down with a wicked smirk. “Well, if you want to get onto the topic of teasing, I got something for you right here, in a minute.”

You chuckle. “Sure you do, there isn’t anything you could say that I don’t get a hundred times worse at home.”

“Oh, we’ll see about that.”

Twilight taps the paper in thought with her quill "So, I don’t really know how to say this without sounding rude, so I’ll just come out with it. You’re not having any financial troubles are you?"

You reach over and scratch your chin again, thinking about just how much you had left in your bank account. "No, the settlement from the court case is being put to very good use, thank you and the other princesses again for that. We even managed to renovate a baby room and not a minute too soon. Oh, that reminds me, I almost forgot, Gilda says thank you for the crib, she regrets not having that baby shower, but we’ve been far too busy to organise anything like it."

Well, her actual words were something more like, baby showers are for nerds and that she's not going to be stuck in a room with sappy ponies coddling her for seven hours. But Twilight doesn’t need to know that part.

Twilight begins to blush "Oh it was nothing, Spikes old crib was just taking up space, and I think my parents were more thankful to be rid of it if I'm being honest, sorry if it still smells a bit smoky, the new paint should have hopefully masked that."

You tussle your beard, combing it with your fingers, raising a brow as the statements surprises you somewhat… "Huh, I mean no it’s all good, my nose has lost a lot of its sensitivity over the years. Probably due to me being in sterilized bleach filled rooms with pungent medicine, but Gilda didn’t mention anything, so it’s probably not a problem. Sorry, but something you just said, I thought your parents would want to keep the crib, you know, for sentimental value?”

Twilight nods in understanding as the glaze in her eyes seems to indicate she was remembering something to that effect. "They said it would be better suited to a new family, for gaining new experiences, instead of gaining a new layer of dust."

"Haha, well, thank you anyway, it will get plenty of use I'm sure."

Twilight smile becomes more genuine at that, the glaze in her eyes seem to vanish which in turn makes your smile grow with it. "How is Gilda doing by the way?"

You scratch your beard again as you give the question some thought, as always it seemed weird to the ponies and dragon in your life about the dynamic of your relationship with the griffon. However, in those moments of arguing, teasing and general blunt talk, nothing was left to simmer in some sort of unspoken resentment. If you or her ever had something to say to one another. It was said, plain and simple, for better or sometimes worse and you worked it out from there. In an odd way, a way that a couples counsellor would probably have had a field day with. But it worked before and after you both stated dating and nothing was going to change that much for the foreseeable future. "Well, she fights, cries, and we make up and make fun of each other all over again. It’s pretty much the same as it’s always been… Well, without the crying part anyway, but that's the hormones. Honestly, I think she's just restless, we both are, she just wants to start flying again, and she wants the baby out. I don’t blame her for mood swings, even if it does get ugly at some points, she's never been grounded for more than a few hours in her life, as much of it as I’ve been around for anyway."

Twilight giggles taking it all into account, interestingly she doesn’t write any of that down. You surmise, that it had more to do with Gilda than you, another point that hammers home that this was more therapy than a report. "Haha that last part sounds a lot like Rainbow Dash."

You pause at the name drop "…Yeah, I've been told that before."

"Does she scare you? I mean now that's she's coming back." Twilight observed, noticing the pause in your voice.

"What? No, don't be silly, Twilight, if I ever let myself be afraid of a pony that isn’t the Princesses, I’ll literally lose the last piece of normality in my system, no offence. I'm just worried about Gilda, I think their last encounter hurt her more than she likes to admit. I know something more went on between them two than a simple cat fight, losing a friend sucks I know, but to have that much effect on her like that, something else happened, it must have…”

You shake your head, wishing you had more tea to excuse yourself from your rambling. “Sorry, I’m thinking out loud now.”

Again Twilight nods in understanding, setting the quill in the pot. "I know she can be abrasive, but Dash is a good pony, I'm sure she’ll be forgiving, and we can work through this. Especially after everything that you two have had to endure."

Again you find yourself wishing you had more tea, but instead you slump back in the seat twisting the crutch around on your lap, with a sullen pout. "I'm sure you’re right, I just hope it’s after the baby, this on top of her problems, might just be the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

“Anything you’d like to talk about, before we conclude?” Twilight muttered as she concentrated on writing down the last sentence.

One question comes to mind. “Any news of the griffon, you know, the one at the barn?"

Twilight shakes her head, scrambling around presumably for a copy of the official guard sheets, that she was privy to thanks to the loophole in the ‘I’m a goddamn princess’ clause. "No, the local guards are still on the lookout for anything fitting yours and Gilda’s description. But if he's been around for as long as you claimed, without a single pony noticing, he's obviously very adept at stealth, he's most likely camped somewhere inside the Everfree."

“Well to be honest, Gilda had been hiding round my neck of the woods for years and no one noticed.”

“True, but she had a safe place to rest, and I'm guessing she never ventured around any further than the end of town, I assume you allowed her to eat your food?”

You nod. That was putting it mildly, she basically cleared out your pantry every other night she was over, even back in the very early days.

Twilight rubs her chin with her wing, mulling the notion over mentally adding up her assumption. “The only place that I can think of that would sustain a male griffon with enough protein and water, and keep him latent from even you, Zecora, or Fluttershy's eyes would be in the Everfree, at least in the Third ring. The outer ring would be possible, if he had nothing to do all day but hunt. But if again, if anything Fluttershy would have noticed if some of her animals from the outer ring went missing.

"Jesus he must be a tough guy then." You knew about the third ring of the Everfree very well. You, at times had to skirt the circumferences of it in order to make some emergency on site calls, for the second ring animals that had been foolish enough or desperate enough to enter the third ring. Not even Manticores or Blue skinned Tatzelwurm(1) roamed there, maybe Red skinned ones, but they only migrated to Equestria during the spring time to breed. Regardless, Blue skins still stuck to the second ring. And given their size and animosity when cornered that was saying something.

Twilight nods in agreement. “It’s odd really, I can’t see a pattern in his modus operandi, you saw him about a week before the incident spying on you two in your back garden, and he flies off before you could call out to him. But then he comes and saves Gilda just in the nick of time, covered in armour and clothing that hid his appearance, now he's not been seen for months. What is he up to I wonder? Is he operating as a lone agent, or if this is part of something bigger? Did Gilda have any connections to Griffons back in her home country, after her first visit to central Ponyville?”

You shake your head, confident in your knowledge that she had been alone since then. “No, Gilda’s not too keen on talking about her past, what she can remember of it anyway, from some of the stories I’m privy to I almost don't blame her. But if she thought any of us would be in danger, because of this griffon, I know she would have said something about it. That girl is a true lioness when it comes to her family, she's pretty stubborn about her past, but she’s not foolish.”

Twilight frown grows as her eyes skim over the report by her side briefly. “Well, if that's the case, then all we can do now is wait until the griffon shows himself again, none of the guards are equipped to go that deep into the forest, and even if we could find the time and resources to get a special task force, who could breach into that level of the Everfree, we have no leads and no way to know where they could start a search in such a huge and dangerous wilderness. Unfortunately all we can do is wait.”

You scratch the irritating stubble on your chin, with a pout, annoyed by your helplessness in all this. “Understandable, it’s not worth anyone getting hurt just to find this guy, we don’t even know his motivations, if he was out to get Gilda or me, the barn would have been the perfect chance, so we can at least scratch out anything nefarious about him at this time.”

“Exactly, I'm sure we'll sort this out. But for now if that's sorted, I just have one question left before we can finish this report.

“And that would be?”

"Did you sort out the feather issue?" Twilight asks with an element of mirth in her voice. A knowing look graces her face.

By all the graces on high, you manage to keep a stone face as the question is fired at you, you faux cough into your fist, to hide any victory Twilight was looking for. Ah so this was that teasing thing she was on about, well played Sprinkles, well played indeed.

"No, no not really, well… Okay sort of, I read the book, the one you gave me." You try and fight the startled tone in your voice, but ultimately fail.

Twilight leans further onto the table, that same playful smirk on her face only grows as you back away from her predatory smile, feeling your own stubborn chagrin rise. "Well?” Twilight asked with vigorous enthusiasm.

“Okay so…”

You sit down in your chair, your new one, scratch and griffon claw/paw free, spotless with that, new chair smell. It was soft to the touch and for once made for your size. One of the many perks of having money for a change.

You lay the book down on your lap. Kicking off your shoes you turn in your seat, letting the light of the sun illuminate the pages perfectly as you get comfortable.

"Okay, let's get this over with." You mutter, inspecting the pristine book in your grasp. The book was definitely old, based on the slight discolouration and crypt like smell of the pages. Based on its condition, it had probably only been read a handful of times at best.

"A Guide to inter Species Dating, Griffon Edition.” You read the books title aloud with mild scepticism and enticed wonder. You question why this had really been given to you. You assumed an almost three year relationship with a griffon of your own would be enough of a guide without a book's assistance.

But still your curiosity got the better of you.

You look over to the corner where a letter addressed to you was sitting, on one of the small oak tables, next to the brown packaging the book had been wrapped in. The book had been a gift from ‘Twilight’ but it probably wasn’t, you surmise, as you again questioned why the mare would even send something like this to you unprompted. She had stated in a letter that came with the parcel that chapter thirteen, page one hundred eighty three was a ‘particularly interesting read’.
With nothing to do, since you were still unable to perform your duties as a veterinarian; you decided to take the bait. Maybe it would let you get the upper hand on Gilda for a change, It was always nice to surprise your partner.

Might even be able to use it to get lucky at some point…. Okay focus, get your mind out the gutter, in your condition you're not going to be doing anything that active for quite some time.

Looking over the book, you examine the cover first. The picture was of an outline of a genderless griffon on the front next to an equally genderless pony, facing one another, with a love heart around the two. As always with this world the book cover was pretty on the nose. But then again, it did make things undoubtedly easier to work out its intent, if the title wasn’t obvious enough. Out of curiosity, you flick to the back of the book, opening the last page of the hard cover.

Inside was an aged black and white photo of a young earth pony mare snuggled up to what appeared to be a large black and grey feathered griffon, outside a rustic two story home that looked freshly made, given the pristine condition it was in and the lack of any weathering on the wood or tiles on the roof. What caught your attention most was the pronounced smiles on their faces and the loving, life bonded look they were giving one other. You could feel a little something pull at your heartstrings and before you knew it you were already smiling along with them. Though it did strike you as odd that the cutie mark of the mare was intentionally blurred out.

Jesus, I’ve gotten sappy with age. You shake your head, but can’t shake off the smile.
The bottom of the picture was in exquisite, and well-crafted cursive writing style and simply read, "Dedicated to my beloved Hanz. May we one day find each other again, in the great plains above."

Flipping the book back over, you crack your knuckles in your hands before cracking open the book. Flick to the page ‘Twilight’ had hinted at, you began to read the title of the chapter.

"1) The feather, a guideline to dating." You look up with a confused furrowed brow, pondering the chapter title. Huh, that seems a bit redundant? I'm sure Celestia knows at least that were already dating, she said it herself?

Then you read aloud the first sentence.

"Congratulations, so you finally decided to get engaged!"

You drop the book down onto the floor as if it was on fire, your eyes bug out and you take a sharp inhale from the shock. Almost jumping out of your seat.

What the fuck!

It takes a moment to calm down but afterwards you snatch the book from the floor bringing it right up to your face, as you attack the pages with feverish vigour, reading them aloud.

"Hold your horse shoes now, I know what you're thinking, married!? I only just meet the griffon! Well, I shall be the first to inform you that griffon romances are a profoundly unique element of their own society, compared to other cultures. Griffons, if you didn’t know, mate for life. But that doesn't mean they take the first partner they see. No, griffons are very particular with their relationships.

“The only way to equate the concept of the feather without dipping into hyperbole is like a long term engagement ring or necklace, for you Earth ponies out there. You see, if a griffon finds some pony he/she cares enough for, they gift them with a feather. Often the first primary they ever lost, however, that is not always the way, considering cases whereupon the feather was lost or too damaged to be gifted, it isn’t seen as a faux-pas for a griffon to gift any type of primary, should their first be unavailable, and often that is the case. Especially for most families outside of those of the ‘Adel bloodline’ or ‘nobility’ as best translated into common Eques. Most griffons cannot afford the necessary runes or warding spells in order to keep the first feather they ever lost in pristine condition.”

“The feather, symbolises that they see you as a potential life partner. However, it doesn't mean they want to necessarily marry you, in the traditional pony sense (See Pp. 239 on griffon bonding ceremonies), or expect you to marry them right on the spot. The feather is more symbolic than a real engagement ring. Often, among griffons, the period of feather gifting to actual marriage (For the bases of this chapter, bonding ceremonies (Liimaus seremonia) will be referred to as marriage, to negate confusion.) Can take anywhere from the next day to five years. Remember, it is a symbol for which they will engage in a pact for life, every pony.”

Life… I wonder, Gilda grew up in Equestria, does she even know this herself, she must have known some of this, right?

"It's likely that a griffon will feather gift up to about ten or twelve times in their lives, before settling down, and it's not uncommon for them to feather gift to multiple partners at any one time. If they have other potential life partners in mind. It is a long period of trial and error and a large investment in their lives, so don't take offence if you and somepony else has one, the symbolic gesture of the feather itself, doesn't mean that they like you or anypony else more (That is more based on the individual griffon, for further explanation see Pp. 345 for notes on body language and gestures/intimations.) It's just to show that they see you as potential candidate and a special somepony in their life, should anything else happen, to act upon that.”

Gestures? I wonder if that has anything to do with that weird stretching thing she does before… out the gutter mind, keep it focused!

“Now, the feather itself is very important to a griffon. Even if it is purely symbolic, so treat it with the utmost respect, like you would any engagement ring/necklace. If you don't feel like they’re the special somepony for you or you have eyes on another, make sure that you at least give the griffon a day before returning it, as there tradition demands, and for Celestia's sake don't throw it
away!”

Well learned that the hard way You think licking your dry lips, as a deep blush of embarrassment swept across your face, as you flip the page.

“2) Accepting the feather.”

“You got a feather, lucky you. But you're probably thinking, what now? Well, now it’s up to you, if you feel you would want to date this Griffon. If so, then do what you think is right, this part’s pretty much up to you two. The simplest answer is do what you both wish to do. Take them out on dates or allow them to reciprocate that, maybe, go hunting together, if you have the stomach for it, or simply spend time with them it’s not horn surgery every pony."

"Griffon dating is about patience, despite, as I have encountered in my studies and experiences, many griffons being excitable and often full of energy, dating is taken very seriously. No amount of time is to long for them, if they see you as a potential partner. Remember, as I mentioned above, griffons mate for life everypony, I can't stress that enough, it is a part of their D.N.A, if you feel you can’t commit, for everyponies sake in this, you will have to tell them."

You turn the page, quickly reading on.

"To lead a griffon on is about one of the worst things you can do to a griffon. Both emotionally and for their own health. A griffon divorce is unheard of and the ones that have happened among interspecies relationships do not end well. What I’m trying to lightly put is that the griffon doesn’t tend to live very long after separation from what they believed to be there life partner. If you understand my meaning."

"Complementary side note. Like Pegasus, griffon beauty is measured at times by the size of their wingspan, as in their culture it is believed that a longer wingspan means a stronger fighter and better hunter. Take note to complement that about a griffon. Griffon claws are also another complement that would win you favour when dating a griffon, the longer and sharper the claws are the more desirable a griffon is to one of its own kind. Again going back to the belief in a stronger and more naturally skilled hunter. Be warned, Beaks are as important to complement as the other elements of a griffon, but be very sure not to mention the size of the beak specifically when referring to a griffoness and specifically in referring to how large it might be. While a male Griffon might take this as a point of pride, stating that a female griffon has an enormous beak is attacking the griffoness’s femininity. It is like stating that a mare has a very straight jaw. Or on the other hoof, for a stallion, stating that they have a nimble and curved figure. It is not likely to go down well, even if the complement was well meaning."

Yeah... I kinda learned that one the hard way. Man, what I wouldn’t give to have this book even a month ago.

“3) How to return the favour.”

“A common question for every pony, but mostly for us non Pegasus out there, how do I return the favour. Griffons or Pegasus who accept the feather gifting and want to return the favour give a primary feather back to their loved one, it’s a symbol of trust and devotion. Like carrying a piece of their loved one around so as to never forget them, it’s rather romantic isn't it?"

"But for the rest of us, this author included, it is a bit of a nightmare. I’m sure you will ask yourself, what do I do, I don't have a feather, do I borrow one from a friend? Well the short answer is no, in recent history we have seen a larger amount of griffon marriages outside of their species, at least on the villages of the Griffonian and Equestrian border and from what this study has been able to find out, anything can be used as a proxy for the feather."

"The crux of it is not that the proxy feather is valuable, but that it holds sentimental value, and that the griffon in question knows this. That is vitally important, as mentioned above, the feather is very important to a griffon so it only stands to reason that your proxy feather should be as well."

So if you think buying a big ring with a huge gem on it is going win you favour with the griffon in question, chances are you might as well be hoofing them a clump or dirt. Griffons, despite their underserved reputation for greed, actually care very little for fancy gems and gold, especially if it wasn't earned the hard way. I’m looking at you big spenders out there.

"No, it has to mean something, it can be anything, a family heirloom, a past down hair ornament your mother might have worn, I had even heard during the study for this book that a pocket watch that had been through three wars being used as suitable substitute feather. It is all about the importance, not so much the price. Though in this author's experience, it helps if you can wear the item in question. Having a photo album of the times you have spent with your griffon in question is sweet, but it's not something that an easily worn or given away at the ceremony. Then again, though I have spent all my life in the company of griffons, this is, and will always come from a pony's perspective."

"Chapter fourteen. Meeting the pride.”

You set the book down and promptly message your eyes, lying back in you easy chair. That was allot to take in, but as you sort through all that you'd read from the book, all of it made perfect sense.

The reaction to the feather, going on hunts or more accurately fishing trips, saying she had beak for days. Everything you did with Gilda matched the book in one way or another. It had to be some sort of natural instinct as much as culturally too. You knew Gilda hadn't been back to Griffonia since she was an infant.

You reach under your shirt pulling the necklace you always wore, from around your neck. Examining it, like always, it was the same warm chocolate brown colour smooth and silk like texture since the day it had been given to you, in perfect condition to boot, despite what you’d been through. You never left your house without it, it rarely even left its place around your neck. That large primary brown feather twined with the purple fiery red phoenix primary you had received on the same day always stayed on you. They were practically the most important possessions you owned, besides the house, and your trusty veterinarian coat.

You can't help but chuckle as you twisted the feather in between your fingers, you knew it was special to her, she always smiled when she saw it on you, even if she was trying to be secret about it. It was part of the reason you never took it off. But knowing what it truly meant, besides what you had surmised back on that fateful day, made it all that more important.

But that just left one vital question

What the fuck do I do now? The question, though crass, hits you hard. Do I love enough for this? Heck I mean sure, we're having a kid together, but it wasn't like we planned it... I know the right thing to do would be to go through with what the book said. But what if I can't be what shes looking for, or the other way around, Its only been basically three years. Most couples take way longer than that to decide they want to settle down with one another forever, right? If I'm wrong, and this doesn't work out. Well, like the book says I can't just divorce. I mean would she be different? She did grow up in Equestria, a completely different society after all. But the books definitely confirmed it was instinctual. If something went wrong. and we couldn't hack it together, she wouldn't just... end it? Nah not Gilda, she probably just be really mad, probably break stuff, Like she does all the time. Heck the first day I meet her she was venting in the Everfree because of some chick fight, she was fine then, I think. Shes not that type to...

You shake your head snapping the book shut. "No i'm sure its fine." You confirm aloud, for some reason you felt you needed to. "I just need to sit on it, the book said it was fine to wait. Plus I'm sure Twilight going to be all over this when I meet her next anyway."

"Hello?" Twilight asks waving a hoof over your eye line snapping you from your thoughts.

"Sorry,” you apologize coughing, with a small blush. “I was miles away."

She giggles "I know, you stopped talking halfway through your story.”

"Yeah, I do that sometimes." You sheepishly laugh, scratching the back of your head.

"It’s alright, it’s an interesting read, Griffonian culture is absolutely fascinating, I wish there were more than a hooffull of books out there, and there mostly kept at Canterlot library, this one was the only one to have mass release and it actually caused some controversy when it was released.”

"How so?" You say interlocking your finger and laying your elbows on the table, intrigued at the notion of learning any more information on the book that Twilight had to offer.

"Well,” Twilight began, her tone taking a more lecture like stance, which normally would have made you switch off immediately, along with everyone else in the room. “Like a great many things concerning Griffonia, the griffons prefer to keep their culture to themselves. We still don't know why really, even Celestia has to sign a contract silencing her from discussing anything in depth about them, as a sign of good will, she won't even tell me or Candace all that much about them." Twilight finishes with a grumpy sigh.

"You wonder how the book even got published?"

"Well, the authors name is signed in a nom de plume, no pony knows her or the griffon in the picture and this was published at least sixty years ago, via a publication that went out of business shortly thereafter. It was only in the last ten years that the Griffonian imperator had deemed the book an affront to the griffon’s goodwill clause in the contract between our nations. This might be one of the few remaining books around, since it was removed from libraries across Equestria."

You lift your eyebrows up, though you don’t know why the notion shocked you so much, given all the other information you had learned about the griffons. “Wow, what was with the change of mind?” you pause considering your own question before adding."Then again. It might explain the griffon that followed us around."

Twilight smiles sadly looking you directly in the eyes. "My thoughts exactly.”

Another few minutes go by, you continue your talk with Twilight has become something of a routine with you and her batting back and forth about your life, it had become less like an agony aunt since the first time she asked you to come over It was still weird, you were never one for talking about your feelings or thoughts.

Yawning, you glare down at you watch noticing the time. "Oh shot! I have to go. The Pinkie thing is in a couple of minutes, Gilda’s probably waiting for me with Shy."

Twilight nods her head in agreement, draining the last vestiges of her coffee as her horn lights up and the contents of the table teleport to parts unknown, well most likely just her basement, but you’d like to think your personal details were being guarded by some giant Cerberus type beast in a dark deep dungeon.

"I'll walk you over." She adds, smacking her lips together as she put the coffee cup down.

You shake your hand at her as you place the crutch down by your side, using it and the table as leverage, you let out a grunt as you get your balance, even sitting for so long your leg still felt tired and sore. The tea had helped somewhat but only rest and time would truly help in the healing process. "Oh there’s really no need for that."

Twilight rolls her eyes. "Please, I insist, I want to say hi to the girls before I delve back into my book on zoology."

You look down at her with an impish smirk. "Zoology huh?"

Twilight it seemed pretended not to notice the teasing cadence in your voice as she walks with you to the castle entrance. "Yeah, you and Fluttershy always have such interesting discussions about the animals of Equestria, I always feel a bit left out, my understanding of animals has always been a bit lacking."

"Well, if you need any help, let me know. I’ve been told I was pretty good at that stuff."

Twilight giggles "I'm sure you are, you should go pro."

“Ha, hmm there’s a thought.”

You almost reach the archway of the doors before something hits you. “Oh I just wanted to thank you for all the talks we’ve been having, you know, our therapy sessions really are starting to work I think, I feel better every single time I come here.”

Twilight smiles brightly up at you as she uses her magic and grasps hold of the door handles and pulls the behemoths open. “I think so to. Therapy has really helped you out of your shell these past few months.”

“Yeah, not like those lousy reports…” you say giggling into your hand.

“No, Celestia was right about that. Friendship reports wouldn’t really help in your cas… oh hourseapples!” Twilight bellows. Flicking her eyes up to you and giving you a grumpy yet adorable pout as a small growl reverberates from her, it didn't really work though since you were too preoccupied keeping your balance as you hug the side of the door, laughing hard.

Nailed it!

Author's Note

Apologies if this chapter was a bit too wordy, and griffon-less.
Will be breaking the cardinal sin of the "you" rule next chapter to add in Gilda's point of view. So to borrow my editors little criticism of the chapter, the next one will have 60% more Gilda.
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