Bad Apples

by Rox

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance, Adventure, Applejack
Length: 22732

Applejack discovers her parent's journal in the attic, where she learns the fantastic truth about the life of the two most infamous outlaws of recent history

While doing some spring cleaning, Applejack discovers her parent's journal in the attic, where she learns the fantastic truth about the hidden life of her parents. How they met, How they lived, and Why they died. There's some feels, some daaws, and some action. All in the life of an outlaw

This is the story of Red Apple and Lily Bloom, or as history knows them:

The Sundance Colt and Calamity Mane.

P.S. Based loosely on the idea of Bonnie and Clyde, and I stress loosely. Thought I'd give another take on the missing generation of Apples, and make it fun even though I plan on it being pretty short. My first time trying a romance, so bear with me. By the way, it will be totally PG. And I don't have any editors right now, so there's bound to be a couple of errors. This has a comedy tag, but judging by the source material you may understand that sad feels may or may not enter this story.

Cover art by me! Yay!

2/24/14 - HOLY CRAP DID THIS JUST GET FEATURED!!?? HECK YEAH!!!

Published 2014-08-29 01:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-24 17:29:00 UTC

That Dusty Book

Applejack took in a deep breath, then promptly sneezed, as she heaved herself up into the dusty attic. This room hadn't been cleaned out in years for one reason or another, and Applejack had finally decided enough was enough this spring. Only trouble was, where to start? There were boxes of junk with junk stacked on top of them with more junk on top of those.

She squeezed past a few boxes that read "photos" and "Big mac's stuff" and into another corner where everything was just a plain mess. There were several sheets covering who knows what along with a broken lamp and that dusty old record player they had before the brand new one down in the living room. Deciding that she had to start somewhere, she started by lifting an unmarked box off the player.

It was a lot heavier than she had originally thought it would be. She heaved to toss it onto her back to make it easier, but upon landing all it did was unbalance her. Applejack backtracked backwards trying to gain control, even after the box fell off her flank. She tripped over something and brought her crashing down into the wall, smacking the back of her head against the old wood.

"Ow, ow, ow, ooh wee that smarts," she muttered. Then the wall broke, and the boards fell right on top of her head.

"Dang it! Ow!" she cursed, pushing the offending wooden boards angrily. She got up to inspect the damage, still holding her head in her hoof and rubbing the sore spot under her hat. To her surprise, the boards were not snapped. They were cut cleanly in two in a way that could only be done with a saw, and the open spot in the wall had revealed a secret nook.

Applejack, forgetting the pain for her curiosity, ambled over and reached in. She wrapped her hoof around the object and pulled it out to reveal a dusty, brown book. She turned it over in her hooves and set it down on a nearby box.

Her heart skipped a beat when scrawled onto the cover, in hoofwriting she hadn't seen since she was a filly, were the names "Lily Bloom and Red Apple." Her parents. Applejack couldn't believe what she was holding, stunned that she had never heard nor seen anything about it before. Wait! Now, maybe she did. Granny Smith had said something about her Pa keeping a journal with her Ma, but also about never being able to find it.

And now here it was. Applejack scooped it up in her hooves and was ready to charge downstairs with it when she stopped in her tracks. Applejack looked at the book, and the longer she did the more painful feelings she had long buried resurfaced. She'll share it with the rest of the family. But first, I wanna read it.

Applejack felt a little bit sheepish for even thinking that, but she felt she deserved it. She didn't ask for much, so it would be just this one time. She found a working lamp and brought it over to a wooden box, where she set down both the book and the lamp. After dragging a raggedy old pillow over to sit on, Applejack flipped open the first page, and began to read. As she did, her imagination soared as she pictured the day her father wrote the first entry. The day he met Lily Bloom.

May 4

I really don't care much for dances. There, I said it. There's just too many ponies all jammed into one place while the couples dance and the rest of us watch awkwardly from the sidelines. Even in Ponyville, where I know just about everypony, it's just a plain unpleasant experience.

Having this view in mind, there was no way I could know how this year's Ponyville Days Dance would be different. As the gala began and Ma ran off to help oversee the festivities, I once again found myself on the edge of the dance with my stallion friends, strategically positioned a few steps from the refreshments and across the floor from the mares.

My best friend Magnum was right there with me, shooting the breeze. I guess I should also say we're sorta rivals. While he may have footballs has his mark and I have just an apple, we've had more than our fair share of athletic competition. He wins some, I win some, me more than him. But that's why I like being around him so much, there's never a dull moment.

"So, Mags, you gonna finally ask Pearl out?" I asked him. He's been crushing on the pink mare for a year now but still hadn't gotten the courage to ask her already.

Magnum just scowled at my jest. They're both unicorns, but in terms of interests they are so different. He's an athlete, and she's a seamstress, as promised by her three button cutie mark. Still, I can tell Magnum would like nothing more than to court her. That is if he can ever get up the nerve. So I just did what good friends do and teased him mercilessly.

"Ok, if you're so confident, why don't you go ask one of those pretty mares over there to dance? First one to get a dance partner wins" he challenged.

"You're hopeless but you're on!" I accepted. We spat on our hooves and shook on it, sealing the deal. Of course we both realized that wouldn't be quite so polite so we washed our hooves in the fountain before splitting off and finding a partner. At first I walked confidently across the floor. I don't mean to brag, but I'm pretty darn good looking if I do say so myself. What girl wouldn't want to dance with me. Then when I was about five paces from one huddled gaggle I froze in place. Would somepony please tell me why they like to travel in packs? It makes it harder, ya know!

Nearest to me, there was this comely yellow mare with braided orange hair and a pink bow, also wearing a beautiful light blue dress that complimented her sea green eyes just right. And as Celestia as my witness she was downright gorgeous. I wanted to dance so badly with her, and I would like to say that I swooped in and we danced the night away and I won my bet with Magnum.

Sadly, this is not the case. I retreated faster than a chicken being chased by a timberwolf, hoping desperately that nopony was looking at me. I returned to my previous spot, and sat waiting for Magnum to return, no doubt with news of a successful attempt. Though I did feel a little better when instead he came scrambling back, looking mortified, having completely failed at his own attempt. So that's where we stayed for the remainder of the dance, hardly talking and sipping apple cider.

So, maybe I'll regret not talking to that mare. I didn't even get her name. Who knows, perhaps I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll have forgotten the whole thing. I heard Carrot Cake was planning to have a cupcake giveaway, so that'll probably be where I'll be once the chores are done. I wouldn't dare think of leaving before then, or Ma Smith would have my backside for a trophy.

May 11

SOMEPONY HELP ME!

I thought I'd get over it just like that, just like all the stupid little crushes I had as a colt in school. But it's been a week and and I just can't stop! I can't even applebuck properly. What's worse? I made the mistake of telling my sister Apple Leaves what I was thinking about, and now I'm sure half the town knows.

On the plus side, I think I finally learned her name. It took going through a couple of ponies and more than one whispered conversation, but I learned her name was Lily Bloom. Her name is just about as pretty as she is. I saw her today buying a load of apples. I'd like to say I held my cool and handled it professionally, but I was so fangled up that Apple Leaves ended up having to shove me aside and make the sale.

She probably thinks I'm an idiot.

May 18

The miracle of all miracles happened today. Ok, so I was having a hoof wrestle with Magnum again. We're in the midst of a long series of who's really the stronger stallion. Anyways, we were doing that and this small crowd was gathering, and Magnum must have gotten tired because I won. The ponies around started clapping and much to my suprise, one of the ponies watching was Ms. Lily Bloom. She didn't have the dress today, but she was still as pretty as ever. Plus she still wore that pink bow and something about it made her even more beautiful in my eyes.

And here's the miracle: I actually talked to her.

"'ello," I said, proud that I could muster coherent words.

"Hi. I don't believe I know your name," she said. Oh boy, her voice was sweet too!

"Red Apple," I manged to say back. "But I know your name, Lily Bloom."

Yep, hello creepy town, and I knew it even then. But for some reason she just laughed and started a conversation. I told her about Sweet Apple Acres and Ma Smith and my big sis; small talk like that. She told me stuff too. She has little colt brother named Orange, and they grew up in the big city. They decided to move to Ponyville to return to simpler roots, and are running a simple flower shop. We didn't talk for long, and well I didn't quite get the courage to ask her out just then. But I now knew where she lived, and you know what? I'm gonna ask her out.

May 20

Still haven't asked her on a date, and I'm too embarrassed at the idea that any of my kin will one day read some of my failed attempts to do so.

Therefore, as far as ya'll are concerned, nothing happened. And don't believe what Apple Leaves says!

May 28

I couldn't be higher if I were a pegasus. So last night I finally got the nerve and I took Lily Bloom on a date. It wasn't anything too fancy, even though I did find the fanciest restaurant in Ponyville, that's just not saying much. I felt like a fool the whole time. Ma and Pa taught me how to be civil but I don't know anything about how they do it in the city like Lily. She seemed so perfect that all I could think about is how could she have possibly agreed to go out with a hick like me.

We took a stroll in the park after dinner. The night was clear, and the Mare in the Moon seemed to be smiling down on us. I couldn't have pictured a better setting. We didn't say much, but she leaned so close to me that evening. I have never felt this way before about a mare. I wish I was a more eloquent writer like Mark Twain so I could write down. But I'm not, so I won't try. Sufficeth to say that it was a best night of my life. You know why?

We had settled on a park bench, taking in the cool night air, watching the stars, and watching as a pegasus on the night weather crew pushed a single stray cloud out of the way. I looked at her, and she looked at me, and the words just wouldn't come. I stammered for what felt like weeks before she put her hoof gently up to my mouth.

Then we kissed. I am not even ashamed to admit it was my first, because the wait was worth it. Honestly, the rest of the night was a blur. I dropped her off at her home and I practically floated back here and into bed. It's morning now, and those feelings aren't going away. I'm gonna see her again today.

July 7

I suppose I should introduce myself properly. I am Lily Bloom, and today I was married to my sweetheart Red Apple. It was a simple affair by Manehatten standards, but to me it couldn't have been more perfect. We held it in front of the Apple Family Barn with what seemed like the whole town there to watch. Red's friend Magnum was the best stallion of course, and little Orangie had carried the rings down the aisle with the cutest little purple pegasus named Flitter as the flower filly.

The wedding dress was just like I had imagined, though Red insisted that I wear my bow in my mane as well. I suppose I can't blame him, for I also insisted he wear his hat with his tuxedo. I'm sure my Grandmother would turn over in her grave at such informality but to me it was simply perfect. Besides, I'm going to be living the country life from now on ain't I?

It appears my dearly beloved has only recently started this journal, but he has agreed to let it become ours, so you'll be seeing both our writings from time to time. We also decided we would confide everything both here and with each other, to make sure we do nothing that we aren't proud of.

Our new family is beginning, and I couldn't be happier.

August 1

Oh boy, where do I begin? I guess this journal is going to become more secret now, because we promised we would write everything important down. I guess I never expected something like this to happen.

Ok, me and Lily have been married blissfully for just under a month now, and we just completed a successful applebuck season. It was a bigger harvest than we ever had before, and I'll say that Lily Bloom is a born natural at it. She worked just as hard and strong as if she had been doing this her whole life.

As usual, we took the first batch to the Rich family, whom always purchased several bushels of apples and jams for their general store. They always give a fair price and honestly their purchase alone is depended upon by my family to hold us over to cider season in the fall. Usually the aging Stinking Rich is the one we deal with, but this time we dealt with one of his sons Really Rich. Now we agreed on the usual price but Really insisted on us signing a contract, citing some legal mumbo jumbo with the store and new regulations and stuff that I really didn't give a flying hoot about. So I signed without reading it, something I just might live to regret.

Really Rich gave us a bag of money which, again, I just took on good faith and left the entire cart of apples with him. It wasn't until I got home that I discovered that there wasn't even a third of the amount we agreed on in the pouch. I was sure it was an honest mistake, because despite the family's rather ominous name they had always dealt fairly. But when I got there, Really Rich shoved the contract in my face.

"See, according to this you agreed to that amount," he sneered. I took the contract and to my dismay he was right.

"But we shook on it, does honesty mean nothing to you?" I said angrily. I hadn't been that angry at anypony in all my life. I had half a mind to buck him in the teeth even as he denied ever agreeing to such, spewing some phony tripe about how the papers never lie. Needless to see I was furious all the way home, perhaps even in a wrong state of mind. I kicked open the door to our home, startling Lily and Apple Leaves something fierce. My sister left the room, saying something about chores as I proceeded to rant about the injustice that had been done to us. Ma probably would have had a heart attack if she had been there but she was off visiting kin.

I don't know how long it was before I finally stopped yelling myself hoarse in our kitchen, but sweet Lily Bloom listened to every word with a thoughtful look on her face.

"It just ain't fair," I said, throwing my hat against the wall.

"We'll be okay, Red," Lily soothed. "We'll figure it out."

"You're amazing Lily, but we needed that money to last," I said distraught. Lily didn't say anything at first, and I was afraid I had hurt her feelings somehow. She walked over to the linen chest and opened it, rummaging around in it and producing a couple of large patches of cloth.

"Is it really that bad?" she asked me in the most serious of expressions. I nodded and buried my face in my hooves. I'm ashamed to say I wallowed in self pity like that for several minutes, just listening has my bride shuffled around the kitchen doing something. I finally opened my eyes to see her carefully operating a pair of scissors on the cloth, and was surprised when she lifted it to her face and tied it on, making a mask around her eyes. She had already tied another one the top of her head with all of her mane tucked inside it.

"What's that about?" I asked.

"If our family needs it that badly, then we should do something about it," she said.

Now, I know we promised to write all our secrets down, and I can't claim that I took it completely ok with what she revealed, but sufficeth to say that they did not leave Manehatten just for a fresh start, but so that Lily could escape some of her youthful follies. I am just a little ashamed to say that when it was brought up now, I did little to convince her not to go back to that place. Rather, she managed to convince me that it was just, and I am not ashamed to admit that I will stick by that now.

"So, what is the plan, then?"

"Well, I happen to know that every Thursday, Really Rich hauls the store income to the bank. He always does it after dark and takes a long way around even though they live only two blocks away."

"How do you know this?"

"Really Rich is something of a subject of gossip. That pony is more paranoid than a mouse in a snake den," Lily pointed out. It was true, and tonight I suppose it was for good reason.

So we concocted a plan and disguises. My red coat is fairly recognizable, so Lily made makeshift cloaks for both of us out of dark bedsheets, and I took off my hat while she left her bow. I felt just a little ridiculous, like I was a little colt pretending to be a superhero again. We kept out of sight from Apple Leaves, deciding to leave my sister out of it (and she's still unawares) and slipped through the orchards towards town. Lily led us to a point in the park where we would be hidden from anypony walking on the path, and there we waited.

It was nearly two hours and quite dark outside before Really Rich finally showed, drawing a small cart with a tarp overlaid, with what was sure to be the money chest. My wife gave the silent signal, and I charged ahead. Really had no time to react before I tackled him to the ground. I held him down with all my strength, which wasn't too difficult considering I was quite bigger than his scrawny build, while Lily pounced on the chest and pounded the lock off with a hammer.

Really Rich let loose a stream of curses and cries for help, so I knew we didn't have much time. Lily proved fast and scooped two big hooffuls of bits and a few gems into a pillowcase, whistled low so as not to talk, and we both bolted. We ran west into the forest first before turning towards home.

As planned, we tore off our disguises and hid those under a random barrel in the barn, and we hid the pillowcase of bits, well, on the bed with another pillow on top to conceal. It was almost certain that Really Rich would suspect us, so even this journal will be put into hiding for the time being.

I will not say that what we just did was right, and I don't expect we will ever do it again. But if we're being open in this journal. I admit it was something of a rush.

Applejack pushed back from the book, not believing what she was reading. Her father, the wisest, gentlest stallion she ever knew, and her mother, the sweetest, most caring mare she ever knew, had participated in robbing somepony! How could that be? Even if it was once and when they were young it was still hard to comprehend.

She was almost scared to go on, fearful of what she had already read. But she calmed down, reassuring herself with no memories of shady dealings in those early years. So she pulled back up to the box, found her place on the next page and continued reading.

Author's Note

So, what more deeds are in store in this hidden journal? I'm not telling, you'll have to read the next chapter!

And yeah, this was really cheesy. Hope I'm don't make anybody too mad with this rendition, but I hope to at least keep you entertained for just a few chapters. This will not be a long story.

Babies and Baubles

August 14

Well, that was a close one. The uproar in town is just barely dying down. I guess that's what happens in a small town. I read in the Ponyville Express that it was the first robbery in Ponyville in over ten years, and the very first highway style in the entire history of the town. Being so close to Canterlot has generally kept away brigands, and the city also tends to attract the lowlife pickpockets rather than rural Ponyville.

At least that's what Ma's been saying. She's a mighty smart mare and I doubt that'll go away with age, but luckily it appears that she has never even thought to suspect her own kin. This despite an irate Really Rich dragging the police to our door insisting that it had to be us. I felt like I was going to implode as they glanced around our home, but Lily was a cool as ice cream in December. It also helped, somewhat to my discomfort, that the officers held the Apple family name in high esteem.

But the fact remained, a wrong has been corrected, and as long as our normal sales stay true the Apple family is going to have enough to survive until cider season. Of course, that is, barring any unforeseen circumstances, knock on wood. And by the way, Magnum finally got the guts to ask Pearl on a date.

She rejected the poor guy, but I have it from the stallion himself he's going to try again.

August 15

I just had to write this myself: I'm pregnant! And Red would never admit this but he just about flat fainted when I told him the news that he was going to be a father. Mom and Dad were so excited to hear the news, and even Orangie got excited at the idea of being an uncle. Of course, this will also put the due date sometime in late winter or early spring, perhaps around Winter Wrap Up. This is so exciting that I can't even think straight. I was wondering why I was craving kiwis. I don't even like kiwis. Well, since my husband came to he has been running wild all day spreading the news and gathering the supplies the doctor instructed.

It's finally a welcome distraction from the news of the heist. That's all anypony wanted to talk about for weeks. You know, I promised I'd never return to that world but I guess I sort of got caught up in Red's righteous indignation. But perhaps when our bundle of joy finally comes I'll be able to leave it all behind for good. I just hope our little foal doesn't think too badly of us when they read this journal one day. Actually, my real fear is how to be a parent. There's probably a book on it somewhere, so I'll have to stop by the library.

Red's P.S. Unforeseen circumstances!!!

October 31

Ya know, Ma told me that I better buckle down and get ready when we found out we were having a baby, and I don't know why I didn't take her seriously. I know that I shouldn't complain because I'm not the one eating for two and carrying around a baby wherever I go, but this stuff is hard. Lily gets these weird cravings in the middle of the night, not to mention she struggles to sleep. And if she struggles, I struggle. I guess that's what being married's all about, ain't it? Sticking together through the hard stuff?

Well, I should also count myself lucky that Lily Bloom is such an amazing mare. She insisted tonight that we go the the Nightmare Night festival tonight, and even threw together a costume. I fashioned an eye patch and a red bandanna and just went as a pirate, but even when whole with foal my wife outdoes me. She fashioned a tail end shaped like a fish's, made a gray bodysuit and even a headpiece and flippers that gave her the best whale costume I have ever seen. I love her sense of humor.

The night did turn out really pleasant. Magnum and I got caught up in a series of contests, which to the wounding of both our prides we ultimately tied. We were both trying to impress our mares, so I guess that's what we get. Oh yeah, he' finally got a date with Pearl. He was very persistent and somewhere along the line she decided she would give the guy a chance. Lily still seems to love me anyways.

My night was made even sweeter when Really Rich was publicly chewed out and spit out like a seed by his Pa. The stallion had started to try and stir up trouble by spreading his accusations against the Apple family, but Stinkin Rich was having none of it. Made me feel a little bad that while getting even with Really we had taken from the gentlecolt too. I figure next season I'll sell him an extra bushel or two for free.

November 27

Really Rich is the filthiest, no good, dirty rotten, piece of rotten flesh that I have ever had the misfortune of meeting!! Though he can't prove it, he's still convinced that we were the ones that robbed him that night. True, he's right, but that doesn't excuse his actions! Like I needed any more stress!

I'm afraid the last month or so has been a little rough. Fruit bats have taken over our west orchards, and we lost a considerable amount for the fall crop. That of course means there's less apples to make cider with. And while Lily Bloom still trucks on her pregnancy has been hard. She's been sick a lot so we're a mite worried about the baby.

But then that glue factory of a pony, who knows way too well our struggles, decided to rub salt in it. He imported cider from Prance instead of from Sweet Apple Acres like they always done, and while it still ain't as good as our homemade cider, it still took away a lot of our customers in a year we were already going to be a little short. I know all's fair in business but I swear that pony has absolutely no sense of decency.

I don't let Lily see how much stress I'm under, because I don't want her to worry none. Apple Leaves is thinking of moving away to work for a different orchard over in Yonderhill, seeking some extra money for the family so it'll be just us and Ma during Winter Wrap Up. Oh yeah, and we're going to need to build another barn to top it off. Some punk pink pegasus from Cloudsdale lost control of a trick and plowed right through three of the walls, knocking the whole thing down. At least we won't have to pay for that, because she did ante up for it. Just another annoyance in a long list of them.

I feel like I might do something drastic if this keeps up. I try not to, but I think about our little summer adventure a lot.

November 29

I nearly did something drastic, and I feel like I should tell the whole story, because something tells me it'll be important. this morning, old Really Rich decided to trot on by the farm like the snob he is to make a proposal.

"I know you're falling on some hard times, Apples, so being the gentlecolt I am I have an offer that should... ease your burdens," he said. I nearly hurled, but I for some reason only Celestia knows I asked him what he had in mind.

"I'd like to buy your whole north orchard for this reasonable price," he said. He opened a small box of bits, an amount that looked just barely over what we usually sold them their jars of Zap Apple Jam. That paltry amount wouldn't even have lasted us until spring, and this stallion thinks us desperate enough to make an offer as insulting as that?

So I slammed the box shut, yelling some unmentionable words that I'm not proud of and will not write down with the sincere hope that my children will never repeat them, and dismissed him from our home by slamming the door so hard that it nearly splintered. I'm glad it didn't else Ma would of killed me. I paced around fuming for who knows how long, but it was long enough that I made up my mind that that poor excuse for a stallion needed to be taught another lesson.

But when I looked under the floorboard where we hid everything, I couldn't find the disguises. I headed into our bedroom to ask Lily if she had moved them, but I stopped short when I saw she was resting on the bed and giving me a rather stern expression. I felt mighty ashamed right then, because I was sure she knew exactly what I had been thinking and I was right.

"You can't let your emotions control your decisions, dear," she said. "I would bet that Really was trying to bait you to do exactly what you're thinking right now. What good could you do for our foal if you were in prison?"

Of course she was right, so I didn't offer explanation. I nodded my head in agreement and walked over to her to give her a hug. She had already calmed me down enough to think clearly again. But she still had something else to say.

"And don't plan any more adventures for a while," she said, putting a hoof on my muzzle. "Because I want to go too."

I don't think I've smiled so wide since the day we wed. She rolled carefully out of the bed and opened the chest at the end, where she pulled out a black hat and what looked like a hoof-stitched mask. When I asked her when she had made them she laughed.

"I'm on bed rest, Red. I have a lot of time on my hooves."

I would like to mention my Lily Bloom looks even cuter when she's sarcastic.

December 25

I've been told that the best Hearth's Warming Eve of your entire life is the first one with your special somepony. I would have to say that they are right. Red said I should write today because I'm "fancier with the quill" as he put it, but he doesn't give himself enough credit. We started the day with gifts as per tradition, though there wasn't too much to go around like I had been used to growing up in Manehatten. Actually, that made it even sweeter. Red Apple had hoof made a crib, which he surprised me with this morning, that was the most beautiful thing I ever did see.

Ma Smith gifted us a both some knitted socks for our hooves, and though such things are only really useful if one were to wear boots, Red and I showed our appreciation by wearing them around the house for the rest of the morning. There was also a letter from Apple Leaves that had ten bits in it from her work in Yonderhill, and the letter itself just about made Red cry. He won't admit that.

Anyways, we had a lovely dinner with Mom, Dad, and Orange, where Mom's city-style entrees were completely blown away by the Apple Family's home-style cuisine. Nopony complained about that, and just when I swore my belly couldn't get any bigger I went and ate three full plates of pies, fritters, and hayloaf. This baby weight I keep hearing about might be tough to work off if Ma Smith keeps cooking like that. The dinner was made extra special when Magnum proposed right then and there to Pearl with a dainty diamond ring for her horn. It was so sweet and helped me relive the moment when Red asked me for my hoof.

Our guests went home not long before Celestia raised the moon, Red being a little concerned about how much rest I needed and how sick I've been recently. I was a little disappointed, I won't lie, being brought back to bed so early like a pampered filly after having my first real social gathering in weeks. But having Red Apple curled up beside me right now makes it hard to be upset. I better stop writing before he wakes up. He has gotten a little bit overprotective as the pregnancy goes on, and I'm afraid he'll have an aneurysm if he finds out I'm still awake.

February 14

Just when I thought he couldn't get any sappier after proposing on Hearth's Warming Eve, Magnum goes and has his wedding on Hearts and Hooves Day. Lily Bloom had a bout of morning sickness that really knocked her for a loop, but she insisted that I go along without her. I was the Best Stallion after all, so I suppose it would have been rude not to.

They had the service in the park but then held their reception at SugarCube Corner. Carrot Cake had gone and done it again with his impressive baking skills. I'm sure he's going to make some mare very happy one day. I admit I didn't stay too long though, which Magnum understood, but I thought I should at least mention his big day here.

March 12

My wife banished me from the room with a stiff left hook so I figured I might as well write what's going on. We were just settling down for supper when suddenly Lily Bloom screamed bloody murder when her labor pains suddenly kicked in. Luckily her brother Orange was visiting at the time so I sent him after the Doctor while Ma and Me got Lily upstairs. It's about a month early for the baby to be coming so needless to say we're all a little freaked out.

I guess I was plum acting all hysterical because Lily socked me in the jaw pretty good, so Ma told me I should wait outside the door until they need me and I did't argue. It's been several hours yet so I'm a little worri

March 13

8 hours of labor, but Lily Bloom once again showed just how tough she is. At 4 o clock this morning, Lily game birth to a colt with a my red pelt and her green eyes and orange mane. He's such a little thing and I can tell the doc is still worried but I can also tell he's got the Apple's fighting spirit in him, and Lily Bloom must have been thinking the same thing because she was the one that named him Big Macintosh. Ma seemed to like that, and she's spent all morning caring for her grandson and daughter in law. I don't know what I'd do without her. Guess that makes me a momma's colt.

Lily Bloom is finally resting now, sleeping peacefully with our new son. He has been really quiet, other than the big cry he hollered from here to Hoofston when he finally came into the world. You know, I never knew you could love something so fast. We've barely met and already I want to give everything to him.

Hopefully there's something left to give. I haven't told Lily, but our cider money is running out.

April 9

This is Lily, and I insisted that I write this entry because I knew if Red Apple did he would try to say it was all his idea and he convinced me to go along with it but that simply isn't true, because it was my idea. And I'm going to start from the beginning, which was really two days ago. I'm happy to report that Big Macintosh is happy and healthy. He has the appetite of a bear and keeps everypony busy most of the day making sure he doesn't crawl away.

Winter Wrap Up was taken care of on the first of April, and went without much of a problem, even though the fruit bats are still occupying the west orchards. But even with the snow cleared away and the days warming up again, it's still going to be a while before we have any apples to sell. And as you might have guessed from Red's last entry, we don't have any money left.

So a couple of days ago, Red and I were both sitting around the supper table while Ma Smith looked after Big Mac upstairs and were looking into our very empty savings box. We tried coming up with ideas but the fact is we couldn't risk selling what was left of our food storage, because the return would hardly be enough to buy food anyway. So I came up with another idea. We could rob a bank.

"But, wouldn't it be really risky to rob Ponyville's bank? I mean, Really Rich would be real quick to accuse us and sacks of gold would be hard to hide," Red pointed out, and he was right. But I didn't mean Ponyville.

"I was thinking Manehatten," I said. "I know those streets better than anypony, and we can be on a train to Ponyville with nopony the wiser."

Red didn't take much convincing, and we got straight to planning. It was actually Red who gave the bold idea to pull it off in broad daylight, and I admit I thought he was crazy at first. But when I thought about it, an idea that crazy was just what we needed. Security is always lighter during the day because nopony expects any trouble, and it would be easier to find a train. So we double checked the train schedules, and using a map of Manehatten we borrowed from the library, we made our plans over the next couple days.

We also tried on the disguises I had worked on during all those months in bed for the first time. I had made a black bow that matched the black hat I had found for Red Apple, so I packed that too along with our masks and clothes. To cover our cutie marks I had found an old pair of pants and vest for Red while I found a lightweight, plain tan dress for me. I packed our disguises tightly into a bag while Red Apple went and told Ma Smith our cover story.

We were going to Manehatten to see if we could find a vendor to buy our apples this summer, to which Ma Smith raised no objections. She agreed to take care of Big Macintosh while we were gone for the next couple of days and promised that we would see apple blooms by the time we got back.

We got to Manehatten Central Station early this morning and we made our way to the intended bank. A stately looking place called Sundance Bank on 7th street. Red and I ducked into the alley and quickly changed into our disguises. I must say that Red Apple looked the part of a rather dashing outlaw. On one hoof he had strapped a very old Apple family heirloom that he dug out of the attic. A little crossbow that was left over from the days before the Apples ever made their way to Equestria. He never intended to actually use it, but rather it was all just for show.

As we burst through the doors of the bank as loudly as we could, Red called out, "Attention ya'll! I'm sorry to report that this bank is being robbed and will most likely be closed for the rest of the day!"

There were three armored guards inside, each wielding a short spear, and to their credit they charged bravely ahead to do their jobs. Unfortunately none of them were quite prepared for just how strong my husband is. He snapped the first spear in half on the ground with one hoof and then promptly barreled over the first guard. A second guard came after me, but he wasn't ready for me either. I whipped around and flipped the spearhead up with my tail before bucking him in the chest. He should consider himself lucky that I've only had one applebucking season or else he might have needed medical attention. I didn't see how, but Red had managed to knock out the third guard as well and was swaggering up to the counter. I had to stop myself from staring at him and remember to play my part too.

"I'd like to make a withdrawal of one gold sack please," he said with a sideways grin. The poor teller was this little unicorn mare who looked so frightened as she levitated the sack over the counter and onto his back. We had decided to only ask for one because we knew the Royal Reserve would easily be able to replace it. We may be thieves but we aren't greedy.

Red tipped his hat and I couldn't resist giving a wink to one of the guards watching stunned from the floor as we galloped out the doors and onto the street. As we planned, we turned into an alleyway a block away and took off our disguises as fast as we could, even replacing our new bow and hat for our old ones. There, we stuffed the sack of bits into the suitcase where we also hid our disguises for both trips and then walked nonchalantly onto the busy streets.

It was thrilling and nerve racking all at the same time as we made our way back to the train station. Within minutes there were dozens of guards, including some that were part of the Royal Guard, running every which way looking for us. One had even stopped us and asked if we had seen any suspicious characters to which I cheerily replied, "Nope."

We boarded the train and we were home just after sunset. Big Mac was already sleeping soundly, Ma Smith having shown her expertise with foals had not yet left her. We reported that we had made a sale and we had enough bits to last us until the first harvest. This was the first moment that we really felt bad about it, lying to her.

I suppose she will find out one day, as will the rest of our family. I just hope you all realize, especially you Big Macintosh, that we did it for you.

April 10

The Ponyville Express ran this morning with the news of the "Most Daring Heist Ever" in Manehatten. It showed two really bad sketches of what me and Lily supposedly looked like. They weren't bad but hardly enough to be recognizable so not even Really Rich has connected it to us. But the best part was that they gave us nicknames!

They called me the Sundance Colt, after the name of the bank, and there was an account full of details I don't remember happening that seemed to include me beating up half a squad of soldiers all at once. Apparently I have the strength of five regular stallions. And Lily Bloom, they gave her the name Calamity Mane, with an equally crazy story about how she knocked out a guard using only her mane like a whip. Somepony must have had too much cider that morning because I don't remember much of that. I think it must have been a slow news day.

Me and Lily are still riding a buzz of sorts though. I could barely concentrate on the chores but I still got them done in record time, and Big Mac seemed to share in the energy as he and Lily played all day around the yard. What can I say? Life is pretty good.

"APPLEJACK!"

Applejack jumped back and slammed the book shut on reflex, startled by her name being called from below.

"Yeah? What?"

"Oh, yer in the attic?" It was Applebloom.

"Yep, just...uh...organizin'" Applejack called back.

"Okay! I'm headin' out to a crusader's meetin'!"

"Be back for supper!"

Applejack took a deep breath as she listened to her little sister scramble down the stairs and out the front door. She set the book down and opened back to the page, completely unsure what to expect next. Unless somepony was playing a prank on her, than by their own admission her ma and pa were the two most infamous names in recent Equestrian history. She had heard stories about them at her bedside....read to her by her father.

As she skimmed the pages trying to find her spot, two folded pieces of paper slipped out of the back cover. As she picked them up she read her mother's neat scrawl on the back reading:

"Posters from Manehatten that were distrubuted a couple of years after we robbed the Sundance Bank. They got better at capturing what we looked like, but they never could quite catch us."

Applejack opened them to find two wanted posters, with color sketches of the Sundance Colt and Calamity Mane....

Her parents....

Author's Note

Okay, so with this story, if you haven't noticed, I'm trying a bunch of things new to me:

First: A journal format. I have never done that before
Second: Married life. I'm 22 and single.
Third: Crime. The last time I stole something was a peppermint paddy when I was 7
Fourth: Total OC ponies. True, they are semi-canon being Applejack's parents, but I've still created them from scratch.

And finally, all the art is mine. I'm still an amateur and I know not everyone likes to see it but I like to do it, especially with this story because of who they are.

Hope you like!

Up in the Air

April 18

Big Macintosh said his first words! Okay, it was kind of a first word. Lily was feeding him some mushed apples for breakfast and was doing the whole "here comes the choo-choo" routine when he said, "yup!" Ma Smith said she thought he just hiccuped, and I did too until he kept saying it all day. Until bedtime when he learned his second word, "nope."

Cheeky kid. Apple Leaves also visited today, holding the hoof of some stallion named Happy Trails. I guess he's a decent fellow and I've never seen my sister so keen for anypony before. It's probably just the brother in me that makes me want to throttle him every time he even looks at her. I think he's been avoiding me all day.

Apple Leaves tried to get the details out of us just how we came by the extra bits that we're using to get by until the first Applebuck season, a story I left to Lily Bloom to tell. She spun a simple tale about taking out an investment from a little mare in Manehatten but left it at that. But supper got really weird when Apple Leaves started talking about, well, us.

"They say it was the most daring holdup since Bell Star stole the Sultan of Saddle Arabia's diamond belt!" she said. "I read that Calamity Mane can control her hair like a lasso, and I hear that Sundance Colt was quite the stallion to look at. I wouldn't mind seein' him around someday."

That was really awkward.

Lily and I sat there smiling and nodding as my sister and her new boyfriend retold the story that I tell you is getting more and more out of hoof. It was just one bank and three guards but the way they're telling it now we cleaned out the vault and beat half of the Royal Guard. I always thought that stories like that needed a couple of generations to go by before they got this crazy. Maybe it's just that nothing interesting has happened in a while. Equestria has been mighty peaceful lately.

Big Mac's crying in the other room, so I better get him. It's Lily's turn to sleep anyway.

April 22

Lily Bloom, Pearl, and a few of the other gals in town decided to have a "mare's night out" and Magnum apparently had some conference he had to go to in Fillydelphia so I'm here alone with the colt. He started off small but he's gaining strength every single day. I watched him buck an apple tree earlier today and he managed to knock off a couple. Impressive for a foal his size to say the least. It just occurred to me that Lily will probably read this later so I better say I didn't let him try any more after that so he didn't hurt himself.

The farm seems quieter all the time now. It's just so peaceful that I think just I'm getting bored. Ma Smith noticed I think because she gave me this talk about finding more friends. Maybe I do, or maybe I'm just itching for something more. I don't know, because I really couldn't be happier here with Lily Bloom and Big Macintosh. It's just weird.

June 3

It's been a little while and I think that it my turn to write in our secret journal. The contrast in subject matter between some of these entries is certainly unusual.

Today we had our first family outing to Ponyville today, by which I mean Red Apple and I brought Big Macintosh along. It was his first time seeing the town and he was more curious than a cat the entire time, pointing to everything and looking up in starry eyed wonder at anything new. While I did the shopping Red Apple had to spend all of his energy making sure our son didn't get away, a venture he always succeeded at a time or two. He can say about a dozen words or so now, but the one he says the most is definitely a very pronounced "Yep!" I think he picked that up from me.

He also has the appetite of a pony about ten times his size, which poor Carrot Cake learned the hard way when he presented a whole tray of sample cupcakes and Big Macintosh devoured them post haste. All that sugar rushed to his head caused some ponies to think he as a little pegasus as he scooted around the floor.

We ran into the Rich family for the first time in a while. Really Rich is as gruff as ever, but he seems to have given up his crusade against our family for the time being. I imagine his wife has something to do with that and his own colt starting to get into the family business has also probably started to occupy more of his thoughts. Though for the life of me I cannot understand why they named him Filthy Rich. I can't imagine anypony being particularly pleased with that name growing up. Fillies and colts can be rather thoughtless when it comes to things like that, even if it is a family name.

Anyway, summer is really getting into full swing. Orange Seed is out of school for the break and seems to spend a fair amount of his time getting into trouble. Red has had to chase him out of the barn more than once, which makes me think he needs a hobby. The flowers are out in full bloom now. It's a wonder Ponyville is not famous for its flowers. There are several skilled florists here that produce the most beautiful bouquets. Their gardens beautify a whole block.

Everyday is a day in paradise I suppose.

July 4

This idea is just plumb crazy, and I think we're about to cross a point of no return. But I love it! And today started out so normal. I think I'll start with this morning's paper. I was in town selling apples as usual when I thought I'd buy the paper during my lunch break at Sugar Cube Corner, and there were two stories that caught my eye. The first was the newest article with some hotshot reporter trying to figure out who robbed the Sundance Bank. They guessed two ex-cons from Pampony Beach this time. But the other was about a new controversy in Cloudsdale.

Apparently some bigwig got in trouble for being a mite unfair to his customers of his bank up there. Something about illegally high interest rates and a lot of foreclosures, but at any rate ponies were mad because the most the bugger got was community service. Now I always get a little touchy about somepony picking on the little guy, be cause the Apple Family is often that little guy in a manner of speaking. When I got home that night around the dinner table I mentioned the little story casually. Ma Smith raised a ruckus about it, which Big Mac laughed loudly at as Lily tried to feed him.

But it was after dinner that Lily and I began talking about it.

"That guy needs to be taken down a peg or two I'd say," Lily said.

"Well, maybe Celestia will take notice," I suggested.

"Not to disparage our Princess, but she generally doesn't do things like that unless somepony brings it front and center," Lily Bloom whispered.

"Hey now, she does have to rule over a whole kingdom by herself," I said. Though, I do hear that Celestia got a protege with an nice talent for love magic. Maybe she will get some help soon.

"Maybe we should take him down a peg," Lily said. I admit it took me a few moments to understand what she meant. But I got a Maverick-sized grin when I did. As you might guess there was one issue.

"But how do we get to Cloudsdale?"

I think Lily Bloom must secretly be a mad genius, because that's exactly what her plan is. Honestly, I don't even think I could write all the particulars until they happen. How did I end up with such a smart wife?

And that's that. We're going to rob the Cloudsdale Finance and Loan in two days. I guess I better start coming up with an excuse for Ma Smith to travel again.

July 6

I can't believe that worked. I know it was my plan but I still can't believe that worked! Sorry, I'm so buzzed right now I can barely focus. Yesterday we left Big Mac in Ma Smith's care with a couple of bushels of apples and a bag of bits. Our first stop was Canterlot where we could buy a couple of items we'd need for our "business trip." The first was a stop by a balloon service to buy tickets, and the second was to a magic shop. I can't believe how expensive cloud walking spells are, but I think we were able to get a good deal between Red's and I's sweet talking. Luckily we had enough for our safety kits as well, should the spell have worn off too quickly. I didn't foresee actually using them.

We left this morning for the cloud city, and I confess both of us felt nervous and I was having second thoughts. I knew we had a reason that some might consider noble, but even then I knew what I know now, and that is that we were doing this because we wanted to. Oh, mom is going to be so ashamed when she reads this one day. But there is no going back.

Cloudsdale is truly breathtaking and for all appearances lives up to its reputation as the greatest city in the sky. The rainbow factories give off such a warm glow from their rainbow rivers and the weather factory itself was impressive. Not to mention how impressive the architecture the pegasi could do with only clouds as their material. Pegasus magic is truly something amazing to behold.

The fact they even have a bank is amazing in itself. I once read that they learned how to make clouds hard enough to support even objects as solid as bits. They even claimed that perhaps one day they could make cloud walking spells obsolete, but I think they're just bragging. We took one bushel of apples to the market place to sell, mostly to establish our alibi, and which we did very quickly to a nice older mare who had a sweet spot for apples. That taken care of, Red Apple and I made our way towards the Cloudsdale Finance and Loan and ducked behind a building. Being careful that nopony saw us, we switched into our disguises and strapped on the the saddle bags with which we would carry the bits, and Red also strapped on that handy little crossbow. He had practiced with it for a few hours this time so he knew how to shoot it, though neither of us planned to need it for anything more than scaring somepony off.

We burst through the open doors just like we did in Manehatten. The looks on their faces were absolutely priceless. The two guards on station both just looked at us completely stunned as Red warned them off with the point of the crossbow. I felt like a celebrity as I strutted up to the teller with everypony staring at me.

"C'mon, honey. We need four bags of bits and don't dawdle!" I said like I was a teacher sending a student on an errand. It was amazing how fast the white pegasus complied, bringing all four in one trip. I even thanked her as I placed a bag in each side of my saddlebag and then Red did the same thing, shooting a wink at the teller as he did so. He was clearly enjoying the attention as much as I did.

He even said, "Thank you for your business!" with a tip of his hat and all the flair of an Applewood actor as we backed out the door and back onto the cumulus streets. This was where the plan got tricky. We originally planned to slip out of costume in another alley and hide the bags in the second bushel of apples we had brought along and hidden near the market just a block or two from the balloon station. But there was a complication.

News spread unbelievably fast through the entire city, and ponies were pointing and staring at us with every turn we made. There was just nowhere to hide and so Red and I just had to keep running. That's when I got blindsided by something moving fast. When I stopped sliding and looked up a pink pegasus with blue hair stood straddling over me with the toothy grin.

"Wow, I never in a million years thought I'd actually get the chance to come face to face you ya! Calamity Mane!" she said, staring straight into my eyes and her snout fur pressing into my own muzzle. I instinctively kicked with all four hooves straight up, but I only made enough contact to shove her away. She was quick, and I knew that spelled trouble. What also worries me is that I recognized her. She was the same pegasus that had accidentally wrecked our barn, a brash, confident mare named Firefly if I remember correctly. But I guess our disguises were working because I didn't see any recognition in her eyes.

"Well, you underestimated us," I said back with a sort of relishing competitiveness, trying to be the opposite of the slightly more understanding mare who's barn she demolished. Firefly shot back a matching expression of determination. I wasn't sure what to do. I'm a pretty scrappy fighter from my delinquent days growing up in Manehatten, but I didn't feel very sure I could take on this speedy athlete, particularly when I was standing on her home cloud and not on the solid earth.

"Plan B?" Red whispered into my ear, and whispered back in the affirmative. Then in unison we turned and started sprinting for all were worth towards the south. I watched in my periferals as Firefly, followed by several other pegasi immediately flew in pursuit and were closing ground fast.

"Split up!" I said to Red, and though the sweet thing hesitated at the thought of doing so he nodded. He changed direction as smoothly as a deer to charge down another alley way and leaping to a lower cloud level. Looking back I could see it confused the pegasi enough to make them hesitate for a few seconds. And it was to my satisfaction that all of them decided to chase me for some reason.

"Gotcha!" Firefly was cocky, but that didn't help her and I wasn't going to fall for the same move twice. I spun and slid on my hind legs like a softball player, causing the pegasus to miss her tackle and somersault on the clouds over and over until she finally careened into a pillar.

"Right back at you!" I called back as I continued my run. The other pegasi stopped to pick her up, and I assume she shook them off because I could see her flying after me again. But I had just enough time.

"Honey! Over here!"

Red Apple was standing where we had agreed, right next to one of the brilliant rainbow falls, and beckoning me over with a hurried wave.

"Ready?" I yelled as a I ran towards him, and he parroted the answer. And with that we jumped off the edge of Cloudsdale, diving headfirst like high divers in the Equestria Games. That was the most exhilarating and terrifying thing I have ever done, and we hollered loudly as we sped towards the earth.

"You're not getting away that easy!"

Behind us the determined pink pegasus was in a sharp dive, a blue contrail that looked like crooked lightning blazing behind her. I glanced at Red, not sure what to do, but he already had a plan. He flipped around so that his back was towards the ground and pointed the crossbow straight up.

"Heads up!" he yelled, and with a flex of his hoof let the arrow fly. I watched breathless as the arrow seemed to go in slow motion to meet the streaking flier. Firefly saw it, thank heavens, and dodged down. Fortunately for us, that dive took her right into the rainbow waterfall. With the pegasus distracted and soaked in liquid rainbow, we pulled our parachutes (which had been those emergency kits) and guided them behind the falls and to the ground. We hid quickly behind a rock and folded the parachutes as we watched for any pursuers.

Now rainbow stained from head to hoof, Firefly flew around furiously for several minutes, but never spotted them as she ranted and raved about how if we ever showed our faces in Cloudsdale again we wouldn't get away so easily. I think I even heard her rant how her fiance would show the Sundance Colt "a thing or two about real stallions!"

Our bags laden with money and our disguises, Red Apple and I made the three hour trek to the nearest railroad station, a little place that had only been put up as an outlet for the rock farmers.

Red passed out in a nap while we nuzzled on the bench waiting for the first train to Ponyville, though I was so charged up from our adventure that I still can't sleep even though we didn't get home until late into Celestia's night. I suppose that's why I can write so much detail. I'm sure one day Big Macintosh will find this to be one amazing bed time story.

Applejack put the journal down for a moment, overcome by a nostalgic wave. She actually remembered that bedtime story, although her Pa had told it in a third pony perspective and it had involved half the Royal Guard and a band of griffon air pirates when she was told it as a filly. She and Big Mac used to snuggle next to each other on one of their beds, holding their pillows close to their bellies as they listened totally entranced by their Pa's stories.

What would she have thought if she had known then that the stories were not only true, albeit with some embellishment, but that they were about her own sweet parents? What did she think now?

She kept reading as these feelings began clashing in her heart.

July 8

Today, we officially became wanted ponies. It was the headline of the Ponyville Express this very morning. "Princess Celestia declares nationwide ponyhunt for two infamous thieves." Only three heists and already we're in the top 10 most wanted. I was a little surprised to see "attempted murder" as one of the charges before I remembered that I kinda shot an arrow at a pony. I hadn't aimed to hit her so I hope I wouldn't have hit her even if she hadn't of seen it first, but no use crying over spilled milk. Lily Bloom and I have no intention of getting caught, and the description they give is still of a couple of superponies who are much bigger superstars than a couple of humble apple farmers.

Meanwhile, I think we finally figured out what we're going to do with the money. There's a large track of land to the south that's undeveloped and unfarmed, and yesterday we noticed that it was for sale. So, we're thinking we'll buy it and plant a new orchard. That way by the time Big Mac's all grown up we'll have an even bigger orchard that will be able to support itself all year round.

Speaking of that little tyke, he's talking in almost complete sentences now when he want to, but he still seems to like Yep and Nope more than any other words in the Equestrian language. We also got a letter announcing that Apple Leaves is finally going to tie the knot with Happy Trails. Can't say I'm surprised, those two stuck together like sap on a tree from what I hear, so we all figured it was only a matter of time before they'd make the announcement all official. That means we'll be taking a trip to Yonderhill for the wedding sometime soon.

August 15

Apple bucking season is back in full swing as summer wrap up approaches, so we've been mighty busy lately. We also started planting in the new north orchard with 200 seedlings and also a patch of corn. I honestly thought we'd never be able to get all the work done, but being the good friend he is Magnum ran right over and began helping us for free. He wasn't the only one, because Lily's family came over and helped us for several hours. Orange didn't seem to particularly enjoy it but he helped all the same. Even Carrot Cake showed up and helped haul a couple of carts and served a delicious snack.

I don't think I could pick a better place to live than Ponyville. Most of the ponies here are just so helpful and all around good folks. It's small enough that not much exciting happens here even if we're so close to the Everfree Forest. It's awfully hard to imagine that ever changing. I think we're going to be a cozy little town where the most exciting thing that happens is Winter Wrap Up being late for a long time.

Applejack laughed out loud, but quickly quieted herself so that nopony heard her as she turned the page. If he only knew.

Author's Note

Sorry this took so long! I got really busy! Like, two jobs busy.

So, the transition has been made from "stealing for necessity" to "stealing for fun and glory." How will all this play out, I wonder. Especially as their family begins to grow even further.

Unstoppable

September 24

Apple Leaves has been married for one month and she's already pregnant. I gotta admit, I didn't expect to be an uncle so soon. We just got the announcement in the mail today and it didn't take a detective to tell that she's really excited. I'm happy for her. Meanwhile my own family is doing great. We purchased the land without a hassle from the owners, the real hassle being explaining how we could afford it so late in the year to Ma. Making up stories is a lot harder than retelling them, I'll tell you that.

Lily Bloom and I have also been secretly planning our next adventure. We have our eye on a bank in Las Pegasus, though if it wasn't even crazier than Cloudsdale one of those casinos would be really tempting. I mean, it's a dirty habit anyway (Ma says she would kick me from here to Canterlot if I ever picked up gambling), so why not make them pay for it? Either way, we decided it's best to wait a couple of months. We're thinking right after the last applebuck season.

I know this is a topic change but outside Ma Smith's banging pots and pans. That must mean that Zap Apples are on the way! I'm sure Lily will be excited. She's never even tasted Zap Apple jam before, and now she's gonna get to learn how to make it! Guess that means we're gonna be busy for the next few days. More good news is that I think we'll be dealing with Filthy Rich this time instead of his father for the first 100 jars. He's a good pony, even if his father ain't.

October 31

Mackie might be a little bit too young to know exactly what is going on, but he makes an adorable buffalo tribe-member. I spent about half an hour putting on the makeup and Cloud was willing to even lend a feather for his little headband. Oh, if I could put a picture in here I would but we got so caught up in the festival that Red and I forgot to stop by the photo booth.

Magnum and Pearl spent the evening with us as well, and I couldn't help but notice that Pearl looked a little longingly at Big Mac more than once. I get the feeling that they are probably working on a foal of their own, so I expect to probably hear yet another baby announcement within the foreseeable future. Anyways there was plenty of festival to enjoy. That energetic young filly Cloud Kicker managed to startle both Red and Magnum with a thunder cloud prank. Both stallions tried to just pass it off like nothing happened. Their cheeks went redder than our apples when Pearl and I joined the little prankster in laughing at them. Stallions can be so funny when they want to act macho.

I don't know why Red worries about that. They may not know his real name, but I know for a fact that the Sundance Colt is currently the celebrity crush of just about every high school filly. His wanted posters have gone from foreboding to practically a model, and he says that mine are getting that way too (I don't agree, they can't get my nose right). But too bad for them that he's already all mine!

November 7

Red mentioned that we planned another "adventure" in Los Pegasus earlier, and well, we did. I would describe it in detail but a combination of adrenalin and it going far smoother than even our first attempt leaves me with little actual memory of it. Suffice it to say that we managed to leave Los Pegasus without too much incident, though I think some hotshot photographer managed to get a blurry picture of us running out of the bank, but Red's not too worried so I'm not either. We got away with a bag of gems this time, and we decided to put it away as an emergency fund. Dad always did try to get me and Orange to pay attention to how money worked, and while I may not remember everything I did remember how he said that Gems never lose their value, even if the bit were to "take a flying leap of the Hooflyn Bridge." He has a way with words that makes very vivid imagery, though I wonder if that was the best analogy for foals.

Red also figures if Mackie grows up to find a special talent in something other than apples, then we can use the gems to help him go through college or some such thing. We buried it in the east orchard near that apple tree with the big, diamond-shaped knot. We figured it was an appropriate place for a buried treasure.

Applejack made a mental note to check under the tree with the diamond knot, thinking giddily about finally replacing that saggy old plow. Or maybe reinforcing the barn so it wouldn't get destroyed so darn often. Between the shenanigans of Apple Bloom, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, it was getting ridiculous.

December 13

Orange left Ponyville today. He's still pretty much just a colt but the dang foal went and ran off without even telling his ma first. Sure gave them quite a stir. My Mother-in-Law had burst into our house this morning in quite a state, trying to find him. We had half the town looking around for him before we found that he left a note saying that he just couldn't take the small town life anymore and was going to try and make it in the big city all on his own. I'm not too worried about him to be honest. He could be a bit of a snotty brat sometimes but he does have a brain between those ears of his, and Celestia has a lot of decrees on the books that are supposed to help colts like him that strike out on their own, so he won't starve.

But Lily Bloom isn't quite taking it as well, which I suppose I could understand. Even though she was completely grown I had felt mighty protective of Apple Leaves when she left, so I guess must be a heap worse when they're not even out of middle school yet. We'll have no way of knowing exactly where he is until he writes a letter, which I suspect he will, but in the meantime we still have Hearth's Warming Eve to get ready for. It's Big Mac's first, so I'm guessing his granny on his ma's side is going to really make a lot of fuss over him. I know that Ma Smith is already working overtime on something for the little guy.

I'm almost afraid to ask.

December 25

Lily is still a little down today with her brother gone just like that. I guess it'll be the first holiday in all of his life that she didn't get to spend around him. I tried my best to keep everyone cheery. Didn't know that was such hard work. Ponyville really should get a professional clown or something for times like this. But our second Hearths Warming Eve together, and our first with Big Macintosh was still one worth remembering. Turns out the gift Ma had for Mac was a bunch of hoofmade, foal sized farm tools. And boy does he love them. He pulled around this toy plow outside all day, and even tried his best to dig up corn rows with the little shovel. He didn't quite succeed, but he did tear up the yard pretty good.

I bought Lily a brand new bow to replace the raggedy one she always wore, which she proudly wore around all day, while she gave me a swell scarf that I did the same with. Also, we bought Ma some new knitting supplies. She started working the hobby a lot more lately, saying that if she's gonna be a granny she should act like it. On the plus side we now have an entire winter outfit for Big Mac.

January 10

Today Lily and I tried something new. We decided to try to steal a bank shipment instead of holding up a bank again. We noticed that the local bank in Ponyville has added a lot of security, with at least two officers walking around it day and night. So we set out on yet another trip with a bushel of apples, this time heading towards Oatlahoma City. We scouted the bank in town and actually did spend our first day doing what we said we were there for. I guess I felt a little guilty lying to Ma all the time. At the end of the day, we had sold the entire bushel and Lily had found out when the bank shipment was expected the next day.

It was really cold out there on the road waiting for that darn carriage to show up, but when it did it was steaming full ahead with four big stallions pulling it. As per our plan, I jumped out in the road, spinning my lasso just like my daddy taught me, and roped the first guy's legs like a runaway lamb. He went down in a heap and his three buddies came a tumbling with him. I had to jump out of the way to let them skid past me, but Lily Bloom didn't miss a beat. She leaped like a pegasus onto the back of the carriage and swung right into the window. Apparently a mare and stallion were also inside as guards, but both must have been so surprised because the only reason I knew they were in there at all is both went flying out the other side of the carriage and landed in a pile in the ditch. Then Lily reappeared carrying two bags in her teeth and tossed one to me, and we made our getaway.

I'll give these guys credit, they chased us with the carriage still hooked up and everything until we were almost back into town, when we lost them at a sharp curve by jumping down the river bank and under the bridge there. We then changed out of our disguises and stuff the bits into our saddlebags, and made it back in time to catch the train back to Ponyville. That was all today, and we just got back, so I'm mighty tired.

March 13

Little Mackie's first birthday! Yay! Oh it was just so precious! We had Carrot Cake cater it for us. I realize the size of the party was probably a little bit overboard for a toddler, but Ponyville didn't seem to mind an excuse to celebrate, and I just couldn't help myself. We like to go big in Manehatten. Pearl and Magnum showed up and doted on Mackie like he was their own. He's probably going to grow up looking at them like they're family I would imagine. They've been such good friends I certainly don't see why not. No baby announcement yet, though.

Red had a holler of a good time. He's been sort of restless since our lost "job" back in January and has been working himself silly to get ready for Winter Wrap Up, so he took the opportunity to play just about every game that we could come up with and to laugh himself til he just couldn't anymore. The Wrap Up's tomorrow by the way, which means a long day of work ahead for everypony. Perhaps that contributed to why so many ponies came to enjoy friends and cake. Even the strapping, young Filthy Rich attended. That stallion is pretty good with the numbers but a little hopeless with the mares. I hope he does find somepony special to him someday, and he's young so he's got plenty of time to do that.

Well, the fire's dying down and Red fell asleep on the couch with Big Mac on his belly. Those two are quite the pair, and their matching coats really blend in with each other. Now I just need to figure out how to get both of them to bed without waking the baby.

April 2

Well, Lily's prediction came true. Magnum came strutting through the door like he had just won first prize at a rodeo, then like a regular royal announcer he told us that Pearl was gonna have a foal. All I can say is it's about time. I took Magnum out for a pint of cider and a batch of cookies at Sugar Cube Corner. Carrot gave us a few on the house to add in his own congratulations. I have never once said no to a free cookies, and I have yet to regret it.

I think it should also be mentioned that Lily Bloom and I are hatching another plan. Would it be fair to call it an obsession? Honestly I crave the adventure of it all and really could care less about the bits. I just really can't see myself doing anything else with Lily Bloom, and I know for a fact that she feels the same way. Now I'm really hoping Ma never reads this because she'll whoop me if she ever see that I just wrote that. Well, I guess she'll whoop me anyway for everything else we've written in here. Sorry Ma! It's not your fault I promise!

But anyways, we're thinking of heading back out east towards Baltimare. See there's this big old bank out there that's been there since pretty much the beginning of Equestria, and wouldn't you know it the library here in Ponyville has a book on old buildings and such. Turns out there are some pretty interesting ways to get in, or out, of that building.

April 24

Our adventure in Baltimare turned out to be a little too close for comfort. Even with our crazy escapade in Cloudsdale, this one was even closer. See, as usual we bust into the bank, both of us hollering for everypony to freeze and ordering the teller to get us some bags of bits. They complied, and loot in tow we bolted out and into an alley way. But before we could even begin to take off our disguises some Baltimore Police rounded the corner, forcing Red and I to have to run once again. They chased us through the confusing streets of Baltimare. It's a really old town and I don't think the original planners meant for it to get as big as it did.

We nearly made a big mistake. We kept getting headed off, or at least we changed direction every time we saw an officer or guard. Several pegasus were patrolling the sky, and we almost noticed too late that they were leading us towards the port and the ocean. We would have nowhere to run or hide. We stopped a few blocks short, but had to keep running as more police closed in.

"How do they keep finding us?" I remember Red asked. That's when it hit me. We stopped and opened our sacks. It was mostly bits, but sure enough I found a large gem inside each one.

"They're using one of those fancy gem finding spells!" I said. Without hesitation, Red picked them both out, tossed them and bucked them both for all he was worth. I watched as both gems bounced down the road and for all the greatest luck in the world landed on the floor of a passing taxi. Red Apple and I both hid in a dumpster and watched as the police, led by at least one or two unicorns, swept by and after the poor cabbie.

After they did so, we finally changed out of our disguises and hid the bits. But our adventure didn't end there. We were relaxing side by side on the train as we pulled into a train station stop on the way. I wasn't really paying attention at first but Red nudged me. In the station were several guards waiting to board. While we were still confident nopony knew exactly what we really looked like, it was still concerning. And we decided not to leave it up to chance.

We casually got up and got off the train on the opposite side that was facing away from the station. Luckily there was some fairly thick forest and plenty of boulders and we hid quickly enough. We watched as the guards boarded the train and no doubt searched it all. I could just imagine them questioning each of the passengers and holding up wanted posters, but when they disembarked nopony got off with them and they slipped back into the town. The train sped off without us, leaving us stranded in some little town called Nickerlite.

Red Apple said he knew the town, saying it wasn't far outside of Ponyville. But it wasn't quite walking distance, especially not at night, and Celestia was setting the sun. Town probably wasn't safe with all the guards, and in hindsight getting off the train probably made us more suspicious then we would have been had we just stayed on, so we decided to hoof it away from the town and down a winding, graveled road to find some place to tough it through the night. Pretty soon we were traveling by moonlight in the increasingly creepy forest. It wasn't the everfree, but it still didn't look very inviting.

We were just talking about trying to find a camp spot somewhere off the path when I noticed a farm house. Red and I looked at each other for a moment, and then decided that we should go ahead and see. We were answered at the door by a very solemn looking stallion. We explained that we had missed our train and had foolishly thought we could just walk the rest of the way home, playing the part of dumb tourists. The stallion nodded, and beckoned us in, introducing himself as Igneous Rock. Turns out it was a rock farm. He and his wife, along with two, adorable but yet similarly solemn daughters, ran the farm themselves much like the Apple family did with their orchards.

They graciously let us use their extra room on a bed that was surprisingly comfy, and Red and I actually slept quite well. When the morning came, we offered to pay them for their hospitality, but Igneous refused, sending us on our way. They were such a nice family, though it was kind of hard to tell. All of them seemed to be permanently bored. Deciding the risk was over, we headed back to Nickerlite to catch the next train into Ponyville. We got back around noon today, and Ma Smith sure threw a fit. We had worried her sick when we didn't show on the train that we had told her we would. We we told her was mostly the truth, though I said the reason we had gotten off at Nickerlite was because Red had gotten hungry and really wanted a snack.

Ma Smith just shook her head at that and scolded her poor son for thinking with his belly and not his brain.

April 30

We're on a roll, and we decided we might as well go with it. This time we found a little bank in Seaddle, and we made our way by train once again. But the strangest thing happened there. Lily and I burst through the doors with our usual dramatic entrance and I cornered the guards while Lily went up to the counter to get the prize. But just as that was happening, these mares in the corner suddenly screamed. It scared the ponyfeathers out of me and I spun around expecting to see a dragon or something. But next thing I know there's these three young mares inches away and looking like Hearth's Warming Eve came around early.

I couldn't tell what the hay they wanted, seeing as they weren't so much talking but just squealing like schoolfillies, so I did what I did in school when fillies came up to me and I didn't know what they wanted. I froze and looked around for a way to get out of this without getting any closer to them. A big "Eh-HEM!" from Lily behind them finally got them to stop for a second and look at my wife, and she was giving each of them a stare that could probably kill a cockatrice. That's why I was surprised when the three returned the glare, though they did shuffle aside.

I still wasn't sure what was going on until I followed Lily outside and looked back to see at least two of them give me a wink. Once I realized that those three had been mooning over me, I couldn't stop laughing even until we were on the train. I do believe that's the first time I've ever seen Lily truly mad at me. Don't worry honey, you're my one and only.

Lily's P.S: I know

May 17

Add Hoofston to the list of places the Sundance Colt and his lover Calamity Mane have visited and taken it's treasure. How strange is that? That happened four days ago and it's become almost so routine that we nearly forgot to write about it. In fact, I was just planning to write in here about Big Mac. He's just such a good boy and so sweet. His personality is really starting to show through. He's so friendly but he's also so shy it's adorable. Most of the time he hides behind my leg when somepony comes to visit, and rarely says anything more than "Yep" or "Nope."

He also seems transfixed by apples and apple farming. He certainly is his father's son. He already waddles around after Red Apple and I when we go out to do chores and I often see him just watching us work. I'm still gonna expect him to go to school though, just like his parents. It's kind of surreal to see that I just wrote that down. Growing up I was less than compliant to my poor Mom and Dad, and I often tried to skip out of school. I thought it was a total waste of time, and that it didn't matter. But now that I have Mackie, I can see even more clearly just how foalish I was.

I think I'm gonna start showing him his ABC's. Never too early to start I say.

July 1

I think we're gonna have to be more careful. I was in town at my usual spot selling apples for our early Applebuck season, everything really going like normal. Then I noticed this petite mare walking like she had somewhere to go with a police officer on each side. Well, seeing as I hadn't seen her in town before and I figured I might be able to sell her some apples I got her attention. Besides, the two officers were some of my best customers. She at first looked all annoyed, but she still stood by quietly as I said hello and got to talking to Star Watcher and Shield.

That's when I found out what she was here for. She's apparently a detective hired by Princess Celestia herself to work our case. Well, they didn't know it was our case, but still it was strange to talk in third pony while I found out more.

"Yeah, Red, she said that she's been to all their crime scenes and she's been trying to track them down since last year. She says she thinks there's a possibility that Ponyville is where they're hiding." Shield said.

I hope I didn't look too worried on the outside, because I did just nod along and laugh with them about how ridiculous it was, but I was panicked to be truthful.

"And you'll get a kick out of this, Red, but she showed us a list of local suspects and you and Lily are..."

He didn't finish because this Mare, who's name was Beady Gleam if I'm remembering right, barking something about how that was supposed to be secret. Star Watcher defended me and finished.

"Oh, c'mon miss. You don't have to worry about Red and Lily. The Apple Family is one the most hard working, honest families around. You can trust them."

Turns out kind words can hurt sometimes too.

Well, the lady snorted impatiently, and taking the hint the two officers said farewell and followed her to help her with her investigating. When I got home today I told Lily all about it. I'm grateful for her ability to stay cool under pressure. She calmed me down and said that we just need to go along like nothing has happened. She suggested I go and buck some trees to work off some worry, and I did just that. I feel better now, and I'm sure we're gonna be fine. But I can't help but feel a sense of foreboding about that Ms. Gleam. She seemed like she had a really good brain behind those sharp eyes, and that she's not going to be an easy pony to keep fooling for long.

July 3

Ms. Gleam visited Sweet Apple Acres today. Red Apple was out working the new Orchard while I took care of feeding Big Mac his lunch. She was a lot smaller than I pictured her to be, but her eyes were every bit as sharp as Red described them. She reminded me of my Mom in that respect. She was actually pretty nice though.

"Lily Bloom I presume?" she asked when I opened the door, and I answered yes and then she introduced herself.

"I'm following an investigation and I was wondering if you could answer some questions for me?"

I obliged and welcomed her into our home. I decided that it was time to show her good old Apple hospitality. I'd been getting pie lessons from Ma Smith, and as luck would have it I had made a pie not too long before. I had made it as a treat for Red but when he learned what I used it for he completely understood. Turns out Curiosity and I hit it off. I think we really could have been good friends under different circumstances. We chatted amiably as she asked basic questions like if I had seen suspicious activity or somepony suddenly gaining a lot of income.

The only question that I felt a little nervous about was when she asked about that incident with Really Rich.

"I was looking through records and it says that there was a robbery here of a Really Rich, and he named you two as his assailants," she said. I took in a deep breath, hastily constructing the best response I could think of as I picked Big Mac up and out of his high chair, but was saved from doing so by Beady Gleam herself.

"But I understand that Really Rich has been fueling something of a feud with your family for a while now, so I can't say I would take his accusation seriously," Beady Gleam said with a laugh. "Thank you for the pie and your time. Tell your husband his apple orchards are fantastic."

And with that we said goodbye and I heard from Pearl, who's starting to look bigger now, that the detective had left on the night train to Canterlot already. Hopefully this means that, at least for now, our worries of being discovered are laid aside.

July 8

We decided that we needed to throw a new equation into Ms. Gleam's investigation. It's been stuck in my mind ever since she showed up that she suspected that it lead back to Ponyville, which means that we've been leaving some sort of pattern. So, we did something crazy and stupid risky. We robbed the Ponyville bank. We decided to do it right at opening. I know this town well, and there aren't many ponies out and about at opening time. Not even the guards really show up until about an hour after the bank opens.

Just to make sure, we added little things to our disguises. Lily used some fancy makeup skills and painted this scar down her pretty nose, while I got rid of my freckles too. She also tied up the back of her mane into a tail and made the tips of her hair curly. It wasn't a big difference, but it was enough to make her look like a completely different mare. My mane is usually curled at the end, so she spent some time straightening it so it was all spiky like a pricker bush.

We snuck out just as Celestia was raising the sun and waited for Spare Change to open the bank. I always liked her. She was always fair, and we wouldn't have even thought about doing this to her if we didn't know that the bank was holding a bag of gems that was supposedly on hold for some big wig in Winnyapolis who was afraid that their bank would get broken into. They thought that Ponyville would be too small to be noticed.

We burst through the door right after she walked inside. Lily disguised her sweet voice that usually had a tinged Manehatten accent into just about as Western as she could make it, saying that she should go get the biggest deposit she had. Poor Spare Change looked so surprised and scared as we followed her back and got the bag which was clearly marked for that rich pony. Then we burst out the door and ducked into one of the back alleys, looking for anypony watching. We didn't see anypony else so we quickly changed out of disguise, wiping off all the makeup and fixing our manes as best we could behind a bush. We put on our normal appearance as Lily, walking as plain as day with the bits in her saddlebag, made for home while I quickly made to setting up our Apple stand.

I started a friendly conversation with Poinsetta and her daughter Rose as I always did at the beginning of the day, just waiting for it all to go crazy. I didn't have to wait long. Pretty soon, Spare Change came bolting down the street, hollering that the bank had been robbed by the Sundance Colt and Calamity Mane! Poinsetta screamed and started running like the sky was falling and, after a few seconds of watching her ma, Rose started running in circles and screaming too. I decided it was time to put my best acting to the test and ran out to intercept Spare Change from her yelling and calm her down.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Those two outlaws that everypony's been talking about! They're here! They came in behind me and made me give them a huge sack of bits!"

She didn't recognize me at all. Ponies gathered around in a shocked circle as Spare spun this dramatic tale about how it happened. For something that only happened a minute or two before it sure was a lot different then how I remembered it. By the time she was finished it seemed like half the town was watching. I found Magnum in the crowd and motioned him forward.

"Magnum! They might still be here! Everypony spread out and look for them! Oh, and stay in teams so everypony stays safe. They might be dangerous!" I said. They all nodded, and honestly they made me proud. They could be easily startled but when it really came down to it some of the bravest ponies live here. The next two hours were taken up as Magnum, Carrot, and I went on a "search" for the outlaws. Lily showed up about 30 minutes into the search, and she took it upon herself to comfort Spare Change along with Pearl, who didn't want to risk the foal by getting into some crazy fight with dangerous outlaws. I think Lily felt as guilty as I did about scaring our friend so bad. She offered her pies, fritters, and whatever else we had to try to cheer her up while the search kept going around them.

Soon, everypony agreed that the robbers must have fled town and everypony went back to normal business. Mayor Scroll went off to write a letter to Canterlot, no doubt to report what had happened. Probably means we're going to see our friend Beady Gleam again really soon.

August 10

It was a busy few days for us. Our biggest Applebuck season ever has left us worn out and tired, but also with more bushels of apples than I have ever seen in one place. Ma Smith and I are going to have our hooves full making all the jams, fritters, and pies. We decided to make use of our travels and apple sales to advertise that we would now deliver and ship apples to anywhere. Surprisingly we actually got a lot of replies. Mostly from nearby towns so Red has been busy running back and forth from the farm to these backwoods places hauling that cart.

He even ended up going back to Nickerlite and gave a bushel of apples to the Pie family while he was there to show our thanks for them letting us stay there. It's been so busy this summer that ever since the uproar we caused in Ponyville that we haven't gone back out again. Actually, that's only partially true. Spare Change is not doing well. We hadn't realized how badly we really had scared her. She will only walk to the bank now as long as somebody takes her, which a young stallion named Lucky has taken to doing. She's practically scared of her shadow. I think seeing that has made Red and I see a different side of what we were doing. We were so focused on having fun that we hadn't stopped to think about what pain we might be causing.

I don't know. Perhaps our days as famous outlaws are coming to a close.

Maybe it should be that way.

September 19

This is going to seem really weird considering our last entry, but we decided to do it again. But this time, it was to right a wrong. We made for Winnyapolis and took the exact amount that we stole from the Ponyville Bank. It wasn't as easy as some of our earlier jobs, with all the extra guards they had. I had to actually kick one of them pretty good and Lily did too, pulling off an impressive tackle of a stallion twice her size. The other guards were scared off and we demanded the bits before running like heck. Instead of making for the train station like we always did before after changing out, we hung around for a few hours, and I took Lily out to a nice restaurant. They had delicious Daisy Alfredo by the way.

Then we finally took a train back to Ponyville, and we got there well after it was dark. Then we tied a note to the bag with the words, "This belongs to you" and we ditched it on the doorstep of the Ponyville Bank. It was another move that was probably stupid but we needed to do it. I hope that maybe Spare Change can feel a little better after this.

October 21

If you can barely read this it's because I'm super excited! I can barely think straight, and our house has been in an uproar all day. Even Big Mac has been excited, though I'm not sure he understands why. I'M PREGNANT AGAIN! We hadn't planned to have another foal so soon, but well, these things happen and I'm all over the place with how excited I am. Red's beside himself as well. When he found out he ran around the farm and then around the town telling anypony who would listen. Then he came back home just as I told Ma Smith, and the two started dancing. You'd think they'd never done this before. Our foal will only be a few months younger than Magnum and Pearl's, so I think he's imagining that our kids will be in the same class and be best friends for life. Actually, now that I think about it that would be really fun!

Red's P.S. This is going to be awesome! I couldn't be happier!
Big Mac's P.S. *unintelligible scribbling, plus something that looks like he drooled on the page a little bit*

Author's Note

Well, it went from revenge to necessity to kleptomania. What a slippery slope. (I just want to make it clear really fast that I don't condone thievery in any way shape or form. Each time I have them break the law it's kind of grating against my own sense of morality)

But anyways, the story is really only beginning... Somepony we all know and love is on the way. :ajsmug:

The Farmer's Daughter

November 11

Mostly at my insistence, we're going to be taking a bit of a vacation from our side business abroad. Big Mac hadn't been easy for Lily and I can't help but think we might deal with the same problems with this one and I don't want to take any chances on that even if Lily says it makes us more likely to actually get caught once should we start up again.

Oh well. Pearl's looking well, though Lily tells me she's complaining already that she'll never get rid of the baby fat. I don't know anything about that because Lily still looks the same as ever even after one kid. But maybe doing all that farming and exercise otherwise took care of that or something.

Wow. Did I really just write about baby fat? I'm gonna stop writing now and go challenge Magnum to something.

October 25

I'm thinking that this baby isn't going to be any easier than Big Mac. Lily's already getting a bunch of morning sickness and she's really tired all the time. But I still have to practically force her to stop doing orchard work, she's always so stubborn that way. Big Mac's still way too young to do any help either, so for now it's just me and Ma.

Speaking of which she's getting pretty old herself, and I don't think she's gonna be apple bucking much anymore. But she still helps me out on the buckets and barrels and insists that she'll be doing at least that much for a hundred years. The way she looks when she says that makes me believe her. For a city girl she's more than great at apple farming.

And Big Mac seems to be getting bigger everyday, though he's still a little scrawnier than we'd like. Lily wonders if we ain't been feeding him enough, which I would contest seeing as he chows through at least four meals a day plus snacks. Ma agrees, saying we're just being "dunder-headed" and that he'll grow up fine and that I was the same way.

December 18

I'm afraid I'm writing this from a bed in Ponyville hospital, and I was quite sick of staring at these walls so I had Red sneak our journal over here to give me something to do for at least a little while. The doctors aren't sure if I'm just having complications or if I've contracted some virus so they're keeping me overnight until they figure that out. I'm not really worried about me, but I am worried about the foal. Red says that Ma says if it's hard that means the baby will grow strong and I hope she's right. This anxiety can't be good for any of us either.

I've been cared for wonderfully here. There's a young nurse assigned to me, Nurse Redheart. I'm her first full-time patient fresh out of nursing school and she has been such a dear. She checks in on me frequently enough to feel like a filly being doted on by Mom, even though she's younger than I am.

But I'm still starting to go a little stir crazy even if I feel like my stomach wants to jump out of my throat and my head feels like it's been pounded by a hammer over and over again. Red stops by two or three times a day with Mac on his back. Don't think I've ever seen him so scared, and keep in mind I've seen him get arrows shot at him and jump off a rainbow-fall. I keep telling him I'll be fine. Big Mac gives me sloppy kisses each time they leave. He's learned to say "I love you" and Red makes sure to coax it out of him each time too before adding his own. I don't think I could live without my two men.

January 3

We visited Pearl in the maternity ward today. As you might guess, she finally had their little foal, a beautiful white filly with very thick, purple hair. Ever the romantic, Pearl named her little bundle Rarity. It was quite funny to see Magnum acting just like Red did when Big Mac was born, in this very confused protective mode. I think it was even more so with Magnum because it was a little girl. I know first hoof how Dads are with their daughters. It will be nice for us to have a child so close in age to theirs, to make sure our child always has a friend.

We didn't stay too long though, leaving them to rest and honestly to get away from the Hospital. My two and a half week stay there had been more than enough for me until summer comes around for my turn in the ward. The plan was originally to just have a home birth again, but the doctors are just a bit nervous, and once Red heard that it was all the convincing he needed. But the important thing is that I'm walking around right now. No more beds for me right now, knock on wood. Which, by the way, Red Apple is just coming home from doing, so I'm going to go down and make him some supper.

March 1

Lily's on bed rest again, and she ain't happy about it. And when I suggested writing she threw something at me and said she didn't wanna do it because she'd have nothing new to write about. Just one of those moods I guess. I've been busy. We had a Zap Apple harvest this last week. I even had to get help from Magnum and Carrot just to get in the harvest this time, and Ma's been making jam non-stop for the last two days. Filthy Rich came by and purchased the first 100 jars right then and there. It was nice to have no drama surrounding the Rich family this time, Filthy being quite fair. I haven't seen his father much lately. Been hearing a rumor that the old stallion's been sick.

Big Mac seems to have a pretty good memory for such a young colt. I think he senses that his birthday is coming up even though he's only ever had one. With Lily being sick so often her mother has been over a lot, and she's been spoiling Mac just a mite. Just earlier today I ended chasing him around the house for an hour before I could finally catch him, and the cookie crumbs in his mane lead me to suspect that granny had something to do with that.

The news has noticed our absence from the scene so to speak. I got a paper recently with this article titled "The Sundance Colt and Calamity Mane: Dead or Alive?" Sort of a play on words where they were wondering if maybe we had retired, or maybe we had already been caught and the authorities weren't saying about it. And there was this one theory that maybe we'd died in some desert somewhere. I guess ponies who think that may or may not get a big shock later.

June 20

Magnum and Pearl visited Lily Bloom and I today for dinner. Big Mac looked more curious than a cat over little Rarity. I tried explaining to him that he'll soon be getting a little brother or sister of his own, but I don't think he'll get it until the baby comes along. Lily is looking big, and for once she isn't sick and she was able to stay with me the whole night.

I'm not quite as good a cook as Ma or Lily, but I do make some pretty good Apple Fritters. So I went to the market and but some hayburgers for dinner but we did have a dang good desert. Magnum and Lily didn't complain at all, and I don't blame them. I've had Pearl's cooking and, though I'd never tell Magnum, she's terrible. She burnt ice cream. How in tarnation do you burn ice cream!? Maybe when we babysit Rarity Lily Bloom will have to give her some cooking tips.

I had that itch again after the dinner was over, though. As I was putting up my hat I found my black one again. Must resist a while longer, partially because Lily would kill me if I went off without her.

July 7

Today is our third anniversary, and as I was reading back I realized that this is the first time that we've had an anniversary where something crazy hadn't happened around it. I suppose being as big as a cow with foal ready to be born any day now prevents such a thing from happening this time. Though Red's already thinking about maybe moving me over to the hospital again just to be ready, and I'm running out of excuses. I haven't had any of the contractions yet, but I know that this baby's coming whether we want it to or not within a few days.

So, I think I'll give in and let him take me in the morning. He and Mackie have been building a cart that we could pull me in if it was an emergency, like a little ambulance. Well, I guess Red's been doing all the real work but there's a collection of bent nails on the left side that show Big Mac's contribution. He's only two but he acts three or four, and seems to be ready for the baby to come. Every time he overhears us talking about it he says, "Yep."

July 9

At 10 o clock this morning, Lily Bloom gave birth to our second child. And I'm having a hard time deciding if she or Lily is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. We named her Applejack. She has this perfect, orange coat and Lily's sandy mane color. She's also got these adorable little freckles and big, beautiful green eyes. She looks so much like her mother it's uncanny. That nurse Redheart had to practically pry her away from me when it was time for her to eat.

Ma Smith brought Big Mac along in the afternoon to meet his younger sister, and I'm proud to say he took to her right away like a big brother should. Our family has grown again! You know, before Big Mac was born I was a little nervous. I loved Lily so much that I didn't think I'd be able to give enough to him. But from the minute he was born he proved me wrong. I for some reason had the same worry this time too, and Applejack proved me wrong again.

I love all three of them so much I could burst!

August 10

Having two little ones demanding attention at the same time is something I'd call joyful pain. I love being a mother, love the little things they do, and I love them both to death. But they are running me ragged! Red Apple has been giving the best help he can while still keeping Sweet Apple Acres running. The first Applebucking season is coming up so it's going to be even busier than before. I'll be helping as much as I can this time, and Ma Smith insists she can take care of Applejack and Big Mac. Red says he'll keep Big Mac with him to start showing him the ropes, but I made him promise that he won't do any bucking. I think he's still a little too young and might hurt himself.

Applejack is growing fast and strong. I'm glad all my silly sickness didn't seem to hurt her. She's bright eyed and curious, already scurrying every which way she can. And I thought Big Mac was all over the place! By comparison he was quite tame.

September 15

Family Reunion time! It's finally come around again, and it was Lily's first time as an Apple. It was good to see everypony again. Apple Leaves is back in town with our little nephew, and she told us she's gone and gotten pregnant again too! At the rate she's going she's gonna have 8 foals by the time she's done. We had a good old time at this reunion.

Ma and her cousins are still working on that dang quilt they started way back when. I have a betting pool with Happy Trails and Uncle Fritter about whether or not they'll actually finish it. I spent most of the day cooking up the fritters (the deserts, not my uncle), though we turned around for one second and found that a whole platter had gone missing. When my cousin looked under the table, he found Applejack had downed every last one of them! She has her momma's looks, but she sure got my appetite.

We had seven legged races, a relaxing hay ride, and just plain good times. These just get better and better every time. We of course finished with a photo in front of the barn for Ma's scrapbook. Everypony's gone now, headed back for home. There's nothing quite like being a member of the Apple Family.

November 2

The strangest, most surreal moment we've had in a long time happened today. Red and I were discussing the finances of Sweet Apple Acres for the winter, Cider Season being done and all, when Ma Smith walks in on the conversation.

"Well, why don't ya go on one of them business trips? They worked well before!"

That caught both of us by surprise. It had been so long and we'd been so busy with Applejack and Big Mac that we hadn't even thought about it for a while.

"But Ma, ya sure you could watch the kids on your own?" Red asked.

"Now listen here! I raised you n' Apple Leaves just fine right? Now you go on and plan a trip, we need the extra bits to get us through the winter."

She obviously didn't know that we still had quite the treasure left over and hidden away, though we hadn't used it yet because we hadn't thought of an excuse that she'd believe. But this actually might be perfect. I know I've been dreaming about getting back to it a lot lately, and I think Red Apple might have been too. So we agreed with Ma Smith and when we went to bed that night we talked about where to go this time.

"We need to convince her we got a big sale so we can use that stash we have, so what's the richest town we can think of?" Red wondered quietly. It only took a moment for both of us to realize where we needed to go: Canterlot.

November 5

We just returned from yet another high-adrenaline adventure of the Sundance Colt and Calamity Mane. Back on the third, we packed up our gear and several bushels of apples and boarded the train to the shining castle capital. We checked into a hotel and actually spent most of the first day selling the apples at a market stand. There are so many unicorns in Canterlot! I've never seen so many of them in one place before.

After we sold all but about a bushel of our apples, we called it a day and made a pass at the bank we had picked out. It wasn't quite as grand as the Royal Treasury, but Canterlot didn't seem to know the meaning of the word small. But we knew right away the real problem would be the escape. There's a lot more guards there than anywhere else, so getting away would be very difficult and require us to be fast. Or scary.

So yesterday, we got up with the sun, deciding the early morning would be the best time when there were fewer ponies around, and also fewer guards. We went into town still carrying our bushel of apples so that we wouldn't draw suspicion until we were nearly there. Then, we ducked into a back alley and changed out into our costumes. Lily complained hers was a little tight. Guess she hadn't quite gotten rid of the baby weight.

Then we snuck around the corner, made sure nopony saw us go in, then walked through the doors. We decided to take a slightly different approach this time because of how big the place was. We just walked quietly forward like we were normal customers, even though we were dressed just like, well, us, right up until we were at the counter and the teller looked up. He got quite the fright when he saw us standing there just smirking at him.

"C'mon, you know who we are, and we'd like to withdraw from our account," Lily laughed. I wanted to laugh too just because it was all just so silly. The teller stammered, "Y-yes ma'am" and backed into the vault. He came rushing out with all the bags the little unicorn could carry and we snatched them up. It's about right then that one of the guards finally noticed what was going on.

"Hey! Halt!" he yelled.

"Nope! I think I won't!" I yelled back, warding him off with my grandpa's little crossbow.

"Time to go sweetie!" Lily called. We tossed the loot into our bags and bolted out the door. We were out and back around the alley corner before the guards even made it back out the door, and the alarm bells started ringing. We changed quickly enough, but neither of us felt safe. Thing was, there weren't many red and yellow earth pony couples in that town.

I don't think I've seen so many guards flying and running around in my life! We walked briskly, because Lily said if we go too slow or too fast we'll attract attention, but I think we were getting it anyway. So, without waiting to ask, I shoved Lily gently into the suburbs, deciding that maybe we should try to lose them in there.

But it didn't seem to be working. We could still here shouts for them searching. That's when Lily got a bright idea. Just as a squad came down the street, she pushed me up the steps to the door of a house. She shushed me when I asked what we were doing and knocked politely on the door. After a few seconds, a white unicorn with purple streaks in her mane answered.

"Hello ma'am, we're going around the neighborhood selling the finest apples in all of Equestria!" Lily said, bumping the bushel off her back to show her. It was brilliant!

"You can try one if you like," I said when I noticed she looked unsure. "Sweet Apple Acres apples are the best in the world, and that's an Apple Family guarantee!"

It sounded corny, but that actually peaked her interest. The Apple Family was well known because we were the best apple growers in the country. She accepted one, took a bite, and said, "Mmm! These are delicious. Night Light! Shiny! Come here!"

Her husband, a dark blue unicorn, and their colt, a young white unicorn a few years older than Big Mac came to the door. The husband was also carrying a little purple foal with a bottle. Once we saw that, Lily knew exactly what to talk about as they sampled the apples. She talked about our own little Applejack and they exchanged baby stories. All the while I watched out of the corner of my eye as the guards took a look at us, but then passed right on by. We were safe.

"What happened out there?" Night Light asked.

"I dunno. Something crazy just started happening all at once downtown and before we knew it guards were everywhere," I said.

"Huh. Well, if you're selling these I'd love to take them off you hooves," said the mare, named Twilight or something like that. So we did. We sold what we had left for 9 bits and went on our way. We stayed at the hotel until our train left this morning. There were a lot of guards there, but they must have been tired or just given up on catching us because they let us right on back to home. We showed off the money we "made" in Canterlot to Ma and she was giddy as a fruit bat on harvest day.

Though I think the funniest part of the day was when we found a copy of the Ponyville Express, and the headline simply read "THEY'RE BACK! Outlaws pull daring raid on Canterlot!" It's good to be back.

December 25

Today was little Applejack's first Hearth's Warming Eve. Big Mac decided to make it extra sweet, the adorable little guy wanted to get her a gift so Red took him to down. Of course all he could think of was candy, but I let it through anyway because it was so sweet of him and he didn't eat any of it on the way home.

We joined the town's holiday party this year, deciding to interact with all our friends and do as little cooking as possible. Only a couple of apple pies or us this time around. It was delightful to see everypony in one place again even if it was blustering cold. Applejack and Rarity looked like little fuzzballs with how may layers of clothes we swaddled them in. Big Mac refused to wear much else than a scarf. He seems to like things wrapped around his neck, like neckerchiefs and scarves.

Really Rich isn't looking too good, even though he came out with the town. We didn't say much between each other, but the old stallion has definitely lost a lot of weight. The Kickers and Doos each looked great though, and those two little rascals Flitter and Cloudchaser are growing up fast. A few families moved in recently and there's been some construction lately. Seems Ponyville is growing as well.

Well, Applejack's making a fuss and Red is sleeping like a log so I better go take care of her.

February 10

We made another "business trip," and there is a story behind this one. Red brought home the paper as usual after he went to town and we saw the strangest headline.

"Sundance Colt and Calamity Mane: Caught?" it read. That sure caught our attention. Turns out is was a bit of a false headline, saying that a couple claiming to be our personas tried to rob a bank in Seaddle. However, they didn't make a clean getaway and were caught only a couple of blocks away by police. However even the author said they were most likely copycats, which of course they were, seeing as their coat colors weren't the same as previous descriptions.

Still made for an interesting story. It's possible, I suppose, that we could have left it at that and hoped that our own charges would be brought on those poor saps instead. But I guess Red and I do have a sense of pride when it comes to our trips. So we decided to head to Seaddle to remove any doubt.

When we got there it was a wonder they failed so badly. There were so many escape routes leading away from the bank that it should have been easy, but according to the story going around the town they had juts taken the money and run down main street. But the local sheriff and his deputies were right there to tackle them and incarcerate them.

Though it seemed the bank had forgotten what had just happened, or they really believed that the infamous outlaws had been caught, because there was no more security than usual. I wish a camera could have caught the look on their faces when he burst through the door. The guard actually tried to make a move, but he just was a few years past his prime and all I had to do was trip him up. I didn't want to hurt the old guy so I left it at that while Red collected the bits.

"NOW you've been robbed by the Sundance Colt and Calamity Mane," Red hollered once he had gotten the bags he asked for.

"Have a nice day ya'll!" I added with a flourish. Then we ducked out the door and vanished down an alleyway. We changed out, and just because we were there, we went straight from there and visited that big needle building in the middle of town. It was quite a spectacular view, the mountains are green and lovely out there.

And now we have enough money to buy an extra delivery cart.

March 13

Big Macintosh turned 3 today, and all he wanted for his birthday was for me to teach him how to applebuck. Seems that working an orchard is in that boy's blood. So that's what I did. He's not quite strong enough the buck a whole tree loose, but he's picking up the technique much faster than I thought he would. He must have been watching me and Lily a lot closer than I thought.

He's got a lot of power behind his scrawny limbs, and by the end of the training he was knocking three apples out every time. Had to get him to pace himself though and stopped him before he wore himself out too much. He protested, but when I got him home he took a nap until it was time for his little party. He still likes making a mess of the cake.

June 11

San Flanksisco is a nice town, and though the ponies are rather eccentric they're nice enough too. But I gotta say robbing the San Flanksisco Bank and Loan was the strangest experience of my entire life. I knew that we were celebrity and was vaguely aware of a sort of fan following, but I never knew just how crazy some of them were.

We burst through the door, just expecting it to go as normal. Nothing too fancy planned this time. At first I wondered what was wrong because nopony moved for several seconds, but they just stared at us like they couldn't believe it. Then suddenly they cheered.

"Look! Look! You must be here to rob us!" the teller said, smiling like it was the best day of his life.

"I knew they would come eventually!" another hollered.

Honestly I was so flabbergasted that if somepony had just called the cops right then I might not have had the presence of mind to run. The tellers, without any prompting, grabbed bags full of bits and brought them around the counter to us. Then one of them walks up to Red and asks:

"Can I get your autograph?"

Red and I just stared at him for a second.

"Are you crazy?" he asked, voicing exactly what I was thinking.

"Just do it and let's get out of here," I whispered quickly, just wanting to appease them and get out. Red shrugged and scribbled out the Sundance Colt as fast as he could.

"Now, let's go!" I said once he finished, and we bolted out of that nuthouse as fast as we could.

"Alright! Go get 'em!" and "They are sooo cool" were just a couple of things I heard them cheering as we left. I'm not even sure they rang the alarm, but I don't think it mattered. I do believe that was the fastest we ever made a getaway, and we weren't even being chased!

July 9

Applejack's first birthday! You know how we were worrying about Big Mac not eating enough? No such worries with my baby girl. Half the cake is in her belly, and the rest is just about everywhere else. Maybe Carrot Cake is getting better. I keep telling him he should get on the dating scene but the man just is too focused on work. It's a balance, and I did alright don't you think?

She seems to get along with Magnum's kid just fine. They brought her over for the little party we threw. With how fast Applejack's growing I sometimes forget that Rarity is about, what, six months older? She's sort of a petite kind of thing. Nothing wrong with that I guess, though curlier locks I have never seen.

Found a friend for Big Mac in town too recently. He's kinda shy so it's a bit surprising that he did. A new family moved in and they have a little pegasus the same age as him, an adventurous rascal named Thunderlane. Lily said she already learned the hard way not to leave those two in a room alone together. I spent the better part of last weekend rebuilding the stair railing and curtain rods.

It's hard to believe it's already been a year. It seems just yesterday that I held Applejack for the first time. Please tell me it doesn't all goes this fast. I don't wanna let go ever!

Applejack swallowed hard, willing herself not to cry about something as silly as this. Her emotions were so confused over what she had been reading that she simply didn't know how to react. She wanted to be mad, to be hurt. But right now...

All she wanted was to hug Dad again.

Author's Note

Finally got around to this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it.

The family continues to grow, but time is running out. What's gonna happen to our two beloved bandits? The answer to that mystery and more is coming up soon....