My Little Robocraft: Plasma Cannons are magic

"Wow." Hover Blade said, looking around his personal spaceship. "It's... roomy."

Indeed it was, a huge, largely empty room, with a big window at one end, and two screens, each with a computer beneath them. Four bright spotlights in the corners of the plain white roof shone down, leaving not a single shadow.

One of the two screens had a big message. 'FRIENDS LEADERBOARD IS FOR TIER 2 UPWARDS'.

The other had another big message. 'WELCOME HOVER BLADE ITERATION-1. PLEASE CONSTRUCT YOUR VEHICLE.'

Hover Blade read it aloud as he walked over to the big computer underneath the second screen. There was a virtual depiction of a seat and a flat rectangle of cubes, and an inventory at one side for cubes. "Cool!" Hover Blade said enthusiastically. He touched the screen with a forehoof, dragging an interesting-looking gun onto the front of the rectangle. Then he dragged another, and another, and another, until eventually the whole of the rectangle was covered in guns. Finally, he added four 'Wheel Steering T1's onto the four corners of the rectangle.

Turning away from the screen to look behind him, Hover Blade gasped when he saw the awesome robotic masterpiece that he had created. It was so cool! It had wheels! It had guns! It had everything!

Hover Blade saw the spacesuit waiting for him in the driver's seat and ran to the vehicle, grabbing the armour and putting it on as fast as possible.

Sadly this took about ten minutes, as Hover Blade had never put on a spacesuit before and it was quite awkward. Still, he managed it. He sat down on the surprisingly-comfy pilot seat, and pressed the big red button labelled 'TELEPORT' on the controls.

"Go go go go go go go go..." chanted Hover Blade as he repeatedly pressed the big red button.

After a few seconds the spaceship around him and his vehicle vanished, to be replaced by a red rocky landscape. Lots of little pictures Hover Blade didn't quite understand yet appeared in his vision. A heads-up display!

"COOL. Go go go go go..." Hover Blade held his foot down on the accelerator as the timer in the middle of his HUD ticked down.

The timer hit zero, and Hover Blade's awesome creation roared (well, more sputtered) into life.

"YEAH!!!" Hover Blade tried to do a donut in his vehicle, but that caused it to flip over.

"Guys... help... I'm stuck." Hover Blade said into his helmet microphone. More vehicles loaded in around him, none as cool as his of course but whatever.

"Oh my goddesses so many noobs..." a voice said over the intercom. "Uh... xXxHoverBladeProKillerxXx, do you have an alignment rectifier?"

"'Course I do!" gloated Hover Blade.

There was a silence, punctuated by sustained SMG fire from the motley crew of other Tier 1 vehicles as they announced their positions to the enemy team.

All of the other vehicles drove away.

"Guys?"

Nopony answered.

Hover Blade realised just how uncomfortable it was, being upside-down in a spacesuit strapped to an upside-down chair.

He sat there in silence for about two minutes, until he saw movement. An enemy vehicle. He knew it was an enemy because his HUD gave it a little red hexagon and a '100%' label above it. The tiny vehicle drove onto the big circular blue platform that was Blue Team's... base... beacon... power... thingy. What was it? Hover Blade didn't know and didn't care, he just knew it was important.

A siren sounded. Somebody was capturing the control point! Where? Why wasn't anypony defending?

"Oh, right." Hover Blade had a moment of realisation, and pushed the 'FIRE' button on his controls. All nine of his SMGs opened fire in unison, utterly decimating the enemy vehicle.

"Yeah! I got a ki-"

Hover Blade's triumph was marred by a huge red explosion, which vaporised him and his vehicle.